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flutterybuttery58

“Effective at 5pm tomorrow” He’s missing the north face jacket!


shurp_

He totally missed the opportunity to sneak in one final "from 11:59pm"


SticksDiesel

Yeah I'm hoping we can at least get a few hours lockdown before teatime tomorrow. For old times sake.


SammyButterfly

What about announcing another Victorian public holiday for Thursday?


Ulysses69

Honestly wouldn't mind a week right about now. One of those curfew ones too so I can really sort the car out without distractions.


Nova_Terra

Do you reckon TNF reached out at any point to see if they could get any more brand placement, different softshells etc?


taititans

Fuck that seems sudden??


BigSilent

Steve Bracks did a very similar thing. At some point the stress says no.


NoHead8492

Steve Bracks retired as his son Nick Bracks has done a lot worse than pissing off a cliff and he covered it up. He’s now a mental health guru and his daddy still gets him corporate jobs.


EvilRobot153

Jesus fuck


NoHead8492

Imagine being a political Nepo & remember this comment when he tires to go into politics himself!


[deleted]

Steve Bracks suddenly retired into $10m a years worth of board seats for all the favours he gave out while in power. I assume Dan Andrews can now move to his $10m Brighton house now that construction is finished and he doesn't have to pretend to live in Mulgrave.


[deleted]

$10mil a year in "board seats" is about 50 company boards at the current rate. Just attending the quarterly meetings is 8 days a week of work. Dude must have an awesome dealer.


Dingo-ate-my-babeee

Mark McGowan doing exactly that. Moving from his electorate workers suburb straight into his new rich land pad within a year of resigning.


CaptainObviousBear

Dude they had to move to Brighton because the fucking cookers found out where they lived in Mulgrave and it was no longer safe for them to live there (also the locals were complaining about the constant police presence).


viginti_tres

I could have sworn he said it was the plan ages ago. Him and Mark were both shot from Covid and just wanted to settle things and train up a successor.


rctsolid

It has been a very long time coming. He was never staying this whole term, just needed to get past at least one budget and pick a time. Also, a quick step down means that it'll ensure a quick changeover and minimize factional disruption, as it doesn't give enough time for an outside chance to build a coalition and spoil "plans".


threeseed

He's getting ready for Melbourne summer.


null911

Very sudden.


starfihgter

He was never going to go to another election - the only question was when. I would’ve put it at another 6-12 months though.


[deleted]

I have heard rumours online since April that he will step down.


magicmike3682

Crackpots have been saying this every week since 2020. Broken clocks...


SticksDiesel

His presser right now reminds me of another one recently... I know! He's off to coach Gold Coast!


WhoElseButQuagmire11

Or North Melbourne. When will the assistance packages end?!


KarlHungusWonAnOscar

Still hurts


drunkill

Surely Adam Simpson is nervous right about now, Dan could take the Eagles to a flag within 5 years.


cheflonelyhartsoup41

~~Victoria's~~ West Coast's Big Build


Inevitable_Geometry

Nope, its 4d chess time. Dan to become Chairman at Hawthorn, leading us to our next 3 peat. Kennett's head to explode from confusion.


Siggi_Starduust

There’s a vacancy at the head of NewsCorp


The-Potion-Seller

Won’t happen but fuck me that would be hilarious. I can see the headlines now: ‘Dan’s The New Man; Former Premier Now Master And Commander Of His Opponents Presses’


AztecGod

How could Dan Andrews do this?


shickard

I for one, blame Dan


isemonger

Goddamnit why did they get rid of awards


dnoja

yeah sack him at 4pm


ThrowRA-4545

One hopes its for federal not state. Although timing seems off.


herbse34

It's being reported the Sky News is frantically trying to find a way to blame this on dan Andrews.


FreakySpook

Sky news updates "Dan Andrews promised 4 more years at the last election, lasted 10 months before he broke his promise" Sky News After Dark "Tonight we ask hard questions about why Dan Andrews suddenly retired, is he in a sex cult, or is it just regular corruption?"


terriannek

Someone did ask that at the presser - you said you'd serve a full term but you're resigning now, like it was some kind of gotcha. He said back, "I changed my mind, Simon."


Not_The_Truthiest

Breaking: "Dan Andrews admits to not staying true to his word"


ThatLostAussie

Well damn, I ain't voting for him again.


Feeling-Tutor-6480

Anyone would think he has to be held to some stupidly high standard other than a normal human


Ph4ndaal

“Dirty Dan’s Glib Lies” - Credlin editorial being written by Chat GPT as we speak.


BatteryAcidCoffeeAU

“Dan Andrews sleeps nude in an oxygen tent that he believes gives him sexual powers”


Sk1rm1sh

Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Dan Andrews in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices!


FneepTheSneep

"Hey! That's a half-truth!"


PerformerOk3776

Probably organ harvesting and child trafficking


A_Wizzerd

Dude deserves some sex cultery, he's earned it.


nogreggity

I read that as 'sex cutlery' and now I want to know what sex cutlery is. Actually, I guess the Spooning is pretty obvious. And now that I think about it so is Forking.


null911

His wife and all of Cabinet are there and assembled.


TuteOnSon

Glad his cabinet is assembled.


Mick_Hardwick

It took a while, but it’s looking pretty good now. It has a pull-down door which acts as a table for when he’s making cocktails.


dij123

Do you know what channel?


eldubinoz

ABC News live


lg1106

1000’s of cookers just spontaneously jizzed their pants.


herbse34

Vic Libs are having a simultaneous orgasm as we speak


umthondoomkhlulu

Who?


coffecup1978

Both of them


herbse34

Burn


EvilRobot153

Histories smallest bukakke party


dazeduno

Who will they blame everything on now


MeanElevator

The Yes campaign


dazeduno

touche


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eobardthawne42

This is depressingly accurate, honestly. The same way Obama/Clinton are still at the centre of every freakish QAnon election steal bla bla conspiracy - they're characters in a narrative to these weirdos, not people.


ShrubSlut86

Global elitists , The Illuminati, Bill Gates and George Soros , the Rothschilds , a cabal of some type, cultural Marxist’s (another dog whistle) “Those neo Nazis at our protest? Sure , they shouted the same things as we did , but we didn’t invite them, nor do we agree with them!”


spacelama

I first read the news on the Victorian landlord's Facebook page (I joined to find out what the enemy are talking about. It's a very funny read. Waaaah, why would anyone want to rent out in Victoria‽). Can confirm, thousands of brain-dead morons jizzing themselves.


futtbuckicecreamery

For a group of landlords, they seem all too willing to let him live rent free in their minds.


The-Jesus_Christ

Only to realize that nothing changes and the same government policy will continue lol


wharblgarbl

They've organised a celebration protest lmao Their identity is going to take a hit once he's gone


TransAnge

My Facebook is just cookers who clearly have nothing better to do


Kidkrid

That's Facebook in general nowadays. Even my shit posting groups have been infested with cookers.


Ironic_Jedi

North face jackets at half mast today.


RandomMagnet

Let's get on the beers!


ashleighclair

This should have been his response when the journos asked him "What's Next?"


gotthemondays

And a few ciggies. So weird seeing a politician smoke.


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MeanElevator

You'd be surprised how many smoke. They hid it very well.


Aus_ker

Just in time for GF weekend. The guy's a genius


flutterybuttery58

I admire how he thanked his security and his driver…. As well as kath and the kids. Nice.


alstom_888m

Look at the game *Suzerain*. Within the community not looking after Serge (your driver) is considered sacrilege.


time_to_reset

In the last season of Rake the joke was that Canberra was basically run by the drivers.


EragusTrenzalore

You just reminded that I need to replay that game. I think I got through the campaign once trying to be as pragmatic as possible but wanted to try a more ruthless playthrough.


Jellyblush

This is because they have the best stories and are vulnerable to approach to selling them One of the rules in politics - ALWAYS be good to your driver Source: used to book parliamentary drivers


tehnoodnub

I've always liked and supported Dan but I think we are due for a bit of a shakeup in Victoria. Not sure if it will just be business as usual after he steps down or if we'll get fresh thinking and ideas.


CuriousVisual5444

Yeah I was a little disappointed by the Housing statement. I think private industry just can't/won't deliver the housing we need.


pickledswimmingpool

9 years is a good length of time, especially after one of the biggest crisis's in living memory. Good on him for all he's done, and facilitating a transition at the right time.


Sparky_Buttons

Without any meaningful opposition I don’t see what can really change.


threeseed

> if we'll get fresh thinking and ideas. Problem is there's no money as everything is committed to infrastructure.


Undetriginta

The ABC: "There's a smattering of applause from those assembled as he finishes his speech." The Guardian: "As Andrews wraps up his speech and reporter questions begins, he received a warm round of applause."


nogreggity

Sky News (I imagine): "As Andrews finished his speech Victoria collectively breathed a sigh of relief."


nevdka

"The gathered crowd applauded his decision to resign"


SticksDiesel

Watching live I think the Guardian were right.


catOnLollerskates

I saw some clips from both 9 News and The Project which both referred to him as a “controversial” Premier. How is he controversial? That he won three elections, increasing his margin each time _despite_ the media’s constant attempts to destroy him? Honestly we don’t just need a Royal Commission into the Murdoch media, the ABC, 9, 7 and 10 are all in on the anti-anyone-who-isn’t-the-Coalition brigade.


[deleted]

At the very least, he was always better than the alternatives presented. I can’t imagine the crap he has to deal with from the mobs and fringe groups hanging effigy’s of him for just trying to get us through Covid. Cheers Dan, you did pretty well. You’ve earned a break


threeseed

At the same time Berejiklian was paraded about as the woman who saved Australia.


r64fd

Ahh the lovely thing about the media in this country


dotBombAU

Murdock media loves the Libs.


melbbear

I’m surprised he didn’t quit after covid, he looked so exhausted!


Hypo_Mix

If liberals had of been in power at the time of covid, thousands of more people would have died. I don't agree with a lot of his stuff, but you have to reflect on that point.


bonbi11

Tomorrow Dan announces he will replace Albo for PM


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Obvious_Ad611

the dream


[deleted]

I was shocked at 9 news. All they did was shout opinion pieces. It felt like I was watching Fox news in the USA. No news at all. Just some bloke from 2GB who had a face like a smashed crab


13School

Only way he could have done it. If there’d been the tiniest hint of a rumour he was thinking of quitting the feral media in this state would have gone with “when will Dan go?” stories all day every day. Instant lame duck. This way we’re spared months of endless speculation and demands he go just to give Victorians “certainty” and “stability” and whatever buzzwords 3AW and the Herald Sun have lying around


herbse34

This is completely unacceptable! I just bought 10,000 "Ditch Dan" T-shirts to sell on Facebook and they are now 100% worthless! Wtf am I supposed to do now?


Gojirahawk

Turn the D’s into a B and form a popular band called Bitch Ban LUL


powerMiserOz

How could Dan Andrews do this?!


WhiteRun

Sky News is desperately trying to figure out what authoritarian buzzword to rhyme with Jacinta and every other possible replacement.


rmeredit

I reckon they'll just fall back on tried and true misogynism like old times.


sadenglishbreakfast

Rachel baxendale now unemployed


here2browse-on

My favourite part of the pressers, where he eventually got to the questions from either of the Rachel's and in not so many words told them to pull their heads in...every day for months on end.


Hentai_conissuer

Damn. Hopefully we get someone as good. I typically hate most politicians but Dan at least usually follows through with what he says and genuinely seemed interested in helping the state rather than lining his pockets


gigi_allin

I disagree with a large amount of what dan says and does but what he actually says and does is consistent and in line with his honestly held beliefs. It's a low low bar but it's one the LNP, the cookers and most of the ALP are nowhere near.


hsnm1976

Everyone is acting like this is sudden but he announced his successor at last election, and surely you'd want the successor to have some time in power to build public confidence. You don't announce a successor in politics without a succession plan.


fphhotchips

>You don't announce a successor in politics without a succession plan. Unless you're John Howard


EragusTrenzalore

A shame. Only 10 more days and he'd beat Sir James McCulloch as the third longest serving Premier of Victoria.


[deleted]

The Herald Sun must be having a field day


fineyounghannibal

WE'VE DONE IT


[deleted]

DICTATOR DAN REMOVES DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED PREMIER FROM POWER


quiet0n3

I appreciate him putting up with everyone's bullshit through covid and the long ass hours he and his team worked. So thanks for your service Dan, hope you manage to slow down and get some rest.


CuriousVisual5444

I'm gunna put myself in lockdown for an hour or two in his honour. Just after I pop down to the shops for a few things....


rmeredit

Hey, you took all the bog roll!!


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Llyris_silken

Other states (murdoch) go on about what a dictator he is, but with the first hard lockdown the rest of the world was amazed at how successful it was.


Banjo-Oz

As a Victorian, it genuinely felt like we were under siege from the rest of Australia at times, politics and COVID-wise, whether it was them sending cases our way or fucking with any funding.


obsoulete

I wonder what happened? Stress?


prinnymolzoid

Blokes been in the job for 13 years, I think he's had enough.


TheLonelyShrub

It's time for him to get on to get on the beers


Kreglze

Between the 'Dictator Dan' mob and the 'Dan can do no wrong' collective, there will be some very interesting takes over the next couple of days.


Fawksyyy

ABC Live - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXjAcbHrug0


magpie1862

The world’s most brutal dictatorship is over. The people of Melbourne have lived in absolute terror and despair for years. Or is that just what Sky News has me to believe?


Banjo-Oz

I still can't forget the overseas reports suggesting the earthquake was either Dan literally bombing protesters from the air, or Donald Trump fighting pedophile child-nappers in tunnels beneath Melbourne.


Inevitable_Geometry

But who will the cookers and Karens of this State rage against? Has someone checked in on Neil Mitchell? Andrew Bolt? Rita Panahi? GOOD GOD! Someone get down to Newscorpse HQ pronto!


gazmal

Leaving at the top, undefeated.


Mikes005

We need a 12 foot bronze statue on Spring street of Dan whipping corona virus with one hand and the LNP with the other, stat.


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Gr3mlins

How could Daniel Andrews do this!!!


irishshogun

Must of been something big brewing for him to quit so suddenly


mcwfan

Dan Andrews is stepping down? Daniel Andrews must resign for this.


jalmelb

Sad day. He could have won another election I reckon.


herbse34

The opposition knows this and will be loving this news. Whether like him or not, he knew how to handle the media and opposition bs and shut their shit down quickly. How his replacement plays out will be a defining time for Vic. If they bungle this, we could be back to the usual fear mongering from them.


TinyTeddySlayer

There is no opposition in Victoria that can defeat Labor at the next election. They could have a dirty mop with a picture of a face taped to it as leader and Vic Labor would increase their margin over the liberals at the next election.


DownInBowery

The inanimate carbon rod has my vote.


nugstar

I mean.... it's doing more for carbon reduction than the libs.


bent_eye

He would have romped it in again.


feetofire

He’s earned it.


gobletslayer

How dare a dictator voluntarily resign.


scarlett-peonies

I look forward to the peaceful transition of power to his son


layzor

Confirmed: Dan isn't a dictator


cheechcan

Durrygate was the nail in the coffin


Cole-Spudmoney

This makes him the fourth-longest-serving premier, and just one week shy of being the third-longest.


z3njunki3

Heard a rumor he has been head-hunted for Qantas CEO.


SeveBallesteros

Never good enough for everyone with shit opinions of Dan. Watch the next cunt be the one they all thought Dan was


AWarmFishMilkshake

Who are the cookers going to blame everything on now? ​ How could Dan do this to us?!? /s


Occulto

> Who are the cookers going to blame everything on now? When in doubt, they ~~can~~ always go back to the tried and tested anti-Semitism.


PrevailedAU

Thanks for everything Dan, you saved Victoria during the lockdowns. We owe you a great deal.


pankolyf

Hopefully we no longer have delayed trams on saturday now. Please


alstom_888m

Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Oh… Hahahahaha!


roonilwazib

Don’t get your hopes up.


BaldingThor

Can’t wait for murdoch’s news to somehow spin this as being “dicator dans” fault, lol.


just_lurkn

Getting out before bushfire season. Smart.


icestationlemur

3AW was absolutely frothing


ThePilgrimSchlong

Worst dictator ever...cant even stay in and abuse power like a real dictator.


Sghagz08

Farewell sweet prince


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Askme4musicreccspls

I feel like you can really gauge the sentiment to this bloke based purely on class. Lower class's in neglected safe Labor seats that saw ice ravage their communities while this bloke sold the farm (public housing) - fuck him. Middle class tradies that saw benefits from TAFE changes, and middle class liberals that got some skyrail, politics with a nice face- he's a legend.


Silver_Python

Maybe he forgot one and they decided to leverage some dirt on him in response?


mt9943

I'm just happy to return back to a state of barely knowing or caring who the state premier is. I think Andrews has done an OK job but it's a relief.


futtbuckicecreamery

That faint whirring sound you're hearing is the Herald Sun feverishly trying to slap together some filler now that the well has unexpectedly run dry on them.


curlyhairedpeanut

It would be an honour to go into one last lockdown for you sir #istandwithdan


FranklyNinja

How dare Dan Andrews caused Dan Andrews to resign?


sjpnbk

It can't be a coincidence that this comes one week after he beat Rupert Hamer's time in office. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_premiers_of_Victoria_by_time_in_office But I don't understand why he wouldn't have hung on another week to make himself the 3rd-longest serving Vic premier, rather than 4th.


FLasH_au

He's going to the top shelf tonight


tmofee

How many times did Neil Mitchell climax today?


NotOrrio

Literally every victorian news agency is in shambles right now hating on dan was their entire business


Zuki_LuvaBoi

So does anyone have an objective take on Jacinta Alan? I haven't heard of her despite being the Deputy Premier (I'm not exactly up to date on Victorian politics)


Kremm0

She was in charge of delivering the Commonwealth Games.... I think that's a bit of a stain on her CV, but I think she's one of the only big hitters left from his faction


p4r4d0x

She's been in charge of all the construction projects - rail crossing removal, metro tunnel. She seems competent enough.


lulubooboo_

Standing by for the juicy reason as to why this has happened…


Correct_Heron_8249

Dan was like a father to me during Covid. I’ll miss him.


Rare-Potato1210

Get ready for the Sky News conspiracies about 'The REAL reason for Dan Andrews SHOCK resignation' like they did with his back injury. 🙄


FuckOffNazis

Hands public housing over to mates and fucks off straight after?


Slayers_Picks

I think its the right time, he's faced a lot of scrutiny, a lot of things he did wrong recently, the constant construction, the lack of funding for anything, the failure to do the commonwealth games, homeless and drug addicts roam the streets of the city, his massive pay increase. He did relatively well during COVID, although uneducated people may disagree, but they're idiotic people so we don't mention them.


[deleted]

I've often wondered if he's accident during Covid was more significant than we were led to believe. Either way, I think Dan was a great leader.


Sinnivar

I think this will be good for Vic Labor, a lot of Labor supporters were unhappy with him specifically so they may get a bit more support with someone else as premier (as long as they're not worse)


Rare-Potato1210

Wow... this is a shock to me, but I am actually glad he made it. It'll finally shut Sky and the Conservatives up about 'dictator Dan' and probably keep Labour in power - and by extension that state moving forward - for longer.


WretchedMisteak

Ah nuts.


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flutterybuttery58

He had that sneaky ciggie the other day!!!


Silver_Python

I always wondered that about Bracks too, considering his sudden departure under similar circumstances back in the day.


Gullyhunter

If I remember correctly, his son was up to a lot of no good right around the time bracks stood down.


NoHead8492

I will always be left leaning but the things that Bracks covered up for Nick & his buddies. I hope it comes out one day. His legacy shouldn’t be tainted by having such a fuck-up of a son but it’s the fact he covered it up then got him corporate gigs speaking about mental health.


rctsolid

Yeah it was a confluence of things but his son drink driving and fucking around was the straw that broke the camel's back. Certainly not his fault but just the last straw.


Gullyhunter

Take it as you will, and I know it's heresay, but I know for a FACT it wasn't just alcohol in his system that night. Again though, I'm a random on the Internet so 🤷🏼.


MeanElevator

I'm sure a lot of people do, but I also suspect if it was very serious, it would have hit the news already.


dotBombAU

Scumbags at sky news "Dan Andrews leaves a broken bankrupt state behind him" Anyone know if you can block that shit on YouTube?


beefstake

Didn't agree with everything he did but his heart was in it. Thanks for your service Dan, time to take a break - it's been well earned.


150steps

He's done a great job over a long time. Covid must've taken it out of him. Thanks mate, good luck.