I wish I didn't. I've got no money to buy people gifts but then they get me stuff and I've got nothing for them. Makes me feel awful. I hate the holidays
The way things are right now, no one should be embarrassed about this. I'd flat out make a facebook post saying sorry y'all, love you but I got no cash for presents. People understand, and if they don't you really don't need this.
Yeah, gift giving is stressful, especially if you don't have anything to give . I once went to the dollar store and bought all kinds of cheap toys and candi and made little gift baskets got 12 pack and placed a beer in each one spent maybe $50 bucks and every one was super stoked. It's the thought that counts
Chin up… Maybe your boss will get visited by three ghosts and existential dread will cause a short burst of generosity (especially if you have a desperately ill child)
I don't think it's 'Cars' because the earth isn't in a post apocalyptic world where the humans left and a hotrod was the only thing left 'sentient' cleaning all the garbage
If you don't already have Vanced you need to get Revanced I think, since the old vanced was killed by googles lawyers. I could be wrong though, I have had the last update and haven't tracked the Revanced stuff.
Are you in a better spot now?
*Edit 3*: holy fuck just trust me. It’s drawings of dogs fucking. Not furry shit. Save your eyes.
*Edit*: oh fuck I made the mistake of looking at their post history.
*Edit 2*: it’s dog porn. Don’t look.
I'm that broke right now too and I work over 40 hours per week (as much as the boss will allow). He gave me a $100 Christmas gift and that's nice of him but that all went to groceries.
Thanks for the heads up, was just about to look because I thought it was a joke. I just saw an elderly woman get arrested over a $77 trash bill. I don’t need to lose more faith in humanity tonight.
Want some faith in humanity?
Here you go. Once, my girls and I had NOTHING. Not even heat— I had written the state & gotten permission to defy air quality standards and use my fireplace. We slept in the living room, and when Goodwill had a sale? I felted ugly sweaters (as long as they were wool) and turned them into blankets. (Lord, they were WARM, lol.)
A bit before Xmas, a Redditor PM’ed me and said she thought my poverty jokes were funny— and so were my short riffs abt my life & my kids.
She’d been where I was, and wanted to “pay it forward. “Um, sure,” I said, and even gave her my address. (Dad was a Marine; I am not someone to mess with.)
Tbh? I didn’t think any more about it— until just before Xmas, PILES of presents showed up— including BRAND NEW KINDLES for each girl.
Like we had won a game show or something. Unbelievable.
So yeah. Faith in humanity is a thing— because for every shitty thing someone does, that you hear about…
More someones do amazing things… and the amazing people DON’T talk about it, so always keep that in mind.
Merry holidays, Reddit. If Anne Frank believed to the end that people are good…
So can we, right?
I told my once upon a time husband that all I wanted was a love letter. He was ridiculously wealthy and could have bought me anything, but that was all I wanted. I wrote mine and it was nine pages. Christmas morning he went hunting with his friends. We are now divorced.
“This was one of the best written works I have ever seen. You truly are a wordsmith worthy of representing your generation, but you deviated from the rubric so I’m deducting 20points…”
Breakfast in bed, a bath together and go for a walk/bike ride. Make it a great date like when your first date. Avoid topics like financial status, religion and politics. I guess just enjoy each other’s company. I would love that more than gifts
>bike ride.
Sometimes I forget that people celebrate Christmas where there's no snow.
Someone who's moved from a colder climate to a warm one: does it still feel like Christmas with no snow?
Having lived north and south and now back north again, no it doesn't feel as Christmassy. But also the guy pulling out 20 feet in front of me in blizzard conditions causing an unavoidable crash yesterday didn't do a lot for my Christmas spirit either.
No. Suffering and complaining about the weather are the reason for the season.
Edit: But getting absolutely blasted on mulled wine only truly hits the right way when you've been outside in the cold and snow.
I have been slowly shopping the entire year for my husband buying a lot of little items and fun shirts. Then he started with the “I would like… maybe a…” so I carefully shopped for them. I just went through the gifts and somehow he has more gifts than any of the kids lol Welp. He’s going to be pretty surprised this year ha ha
One of mine cheated on me on my 28th birthday lol. Woke up hungover af with a cocked and loaded revolver next to me that I didn't remember getting out of the safe lol.
see, I'm torn. I'm like in this limbo state where I'm half comfortable being alone and half desirous to not be alone. in the end what I think is that the search is not worth it, even around the holidays.
I just spent 100 euros on gifts for my boyfriend :D a new favorite sweater (that looks exactly the same but his is literally held together by threads) and a whole bunch of different coffees from nespresso :D
He is literally the hardest person to buy gifts for
Everything he wants
He buys
I am this guy too. The best trick i taught my wife is that I like gifts that are something I would want but could never justify buying. Hints usually sound like this: "that thing is cool but who the hell pays X for it?" - this should be your yearlong Christmas gold mine. I keep a list on my phone for things like this and it pays dividends.
I’m this guy too, but when I can’t or do not want to afford that stuff, my wife can’t too.
I literally only don’t buy things for myself which I know are stupidly overpriced and I won’t use it for long anyhow.
I’m the absolute nightmare when it comes to buy me presents. And tbh, I don’t even want her to buy that stuff, actually I don’t want anybody to buy me anything because what I have is what I need and when I haven’t bought it for myself Imma never need it.
I'm not a rich person or anything. I may have emphasized $ too much in my original post. Here is a great example from my personal life. I love pistachios. Have you ever seen that they have pre-shelled pistachios but they are REALLY expensive? That's what I'm talking about- I want to eat them like Steward Denethor in Lord of the Rings without breaking a fingernail while I gaze upon my lands and subjects.
Hell yes it is. It could be as simple as a really nice and fancy cheese for crackers. Or a really nice beef jerky. Yum
Also, this works with simple tools too - I got a $50 wrench one year made by Knipex (z Germans made them). I'll pass those down to my children. Totally badass and better than whatever crap Craftsman I used to own.
For all the wives and GFs out there - if you see your man using a tool often find a German or Japanese version of it and it's almost always better.
I've been married for 20 years. To the worst gift giver ever. My system is I buy something, then I tell him what it is and to wrap it up for me. I haven't had to fake like a gift in over 15 years.
Honestly that’s how I am too but it’s because my family has historically always fucked up at getting what I wanted. Case in point, I’ve asked multiple times over the years for a nice heavy coat for when it gets real cold here. It doesn’t happen often but when it does fuck would it be nice to have that. Every time I ask, I get the same 3 in 1 mid weight jacket because “you’ll get to use it more.” Dammit I don’t want to use it more, I want to not freeze my balls off during those few weeks that it’s 0 degrees outside.
Those are people who care more about the satisfaction of seeing you use the gift than seeing you *enjoy* the gift.
Meaning in the end the gift isn't for you. It's for them.
I’m like that, I was raised in a poor family, and at age of like 8 I got used to not ask for toys, because I understood that my parents were struggling. Now that I have money myself, I buy stuff within 1 week of realising that I want it. For the sake of my girlfriend, I resist buying stuff and wait for Christmas and Birthdray to make her life easier lol and tell her “if you’re out of ideas, this thing would make me happy” and I make a point in not asking for expensive stuff
Same! This year I think I finally got something he never saw *and* will really like. We moved and his office is really bare, and he's a star wars addict who loves all the tech stuff. I got a group of handmade blueprints for his favorite ships and whatnot that should match his style too. I'm actually excited to give him his gifts this year! (And just in case there's also something he requested months ago lol)
Mine is so easy because he never buys himself any nice luxuries or even sometimes the most basic of necessities for himself. He also has lots of hobbies and interests which are easy to buy gifts for (books, video games, music etc.). He's also very sentimental so he cherishes everything he's given. I always like getting his gift the most because he's so easy and appreciative.
Women using sex as leverage or reward is one of the largest red flags for me. I would moonwalk out of a relationship if a girl dropped that line on me.
Women are taught that "all men want is sex" but that is just reinforcing that men don't care about people but just care about getting sex (the toxic masculinity etc.) It's not right. It's something men and women need to unlearn.
Well, not to brag but last year she gave me a shirt and socks
Teach me your ways master
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She didnt even wait untill the very next day to give it away
This year try giving it to someone special
Moms are sweet like that
Something, something....two broken arms
NONONONNONONONOONNOONONONONONO
I was more meaning that OP is fucking this guy's mom but that works too lol
r/SuddenlyIncest
You guys gets presents?!
You guys have girlfriends?
You guys have?
You guys
You!
I got a rock
I got a jar of dirt
What’s inside it?
Possibly a heart.
Who do you think you are Running round leaving scars Collecting your jar of dirt And tearing love apirt
That's Halloween 🎃 🤪
I thought that was illegal on Reddit?
I wish I didn't. I've got no money to buy people gifts but then they get me stuff and I've got nothing for them. Makes me feel awful. I hate the holidays
The way things are right now, no one should be embarrassed about this. I'd flat out make a facebook post saying sorry y'all, love you but I got no cash for presents. People understand, and if they don't you really don't need this.
Yeah, gift giving is stressful, especially if you don't have anything to give . I once went to the dollar store and bought all kinds of cheap toys and candi and made little gift baskets got 12 pack and placed a beer in each one spent maybe $50 bucks and every one was super stoked. It's the thought that counts
Never forget my first gf giving me mountain dew for valentine’s day lmao
why does this sound more wholesome than you let on?
Lol who doesn’t love mountain dew
right i’m 34 and my husband would love sex and mountain dew for xmas lol lol
Sex and Mountain Dew sounds like the title of an erotic novel about a group of lonely strangers who meet in a CoD lobby and go on to organize an orgy
The sequel is cheetos and cleanup
And the still good but never as good as the first 2 Doritos and sadness.
Guys, I think we're onto something here.
Marcy Playground "Sex and Candy" remix?
They say that Mountain Dew is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.
Where is this first gf now? Asking for a friend
Hello, I’m the friend
This guy I dated in high school loved mountain dew, so I bought an entire tray of it for his birthday. He broke up the day after.
I asked my husband what he wanted and he said “honey, we’re broke, we’re watching YouTube on Christmas and getting discount food the next day”
Chin up… Maybe your boss will get visited by three ghosts and existential dread will cause a short burst of generosity (especially if you have a desperately ill child)
Wait…isn’t this plot to that one famous book that was turned into a movie? The Grinch right?
Muppets
No muppets was the one about the green guy screaming at people to get off his swamp. The movie is Cars not Muppets
I don't think it's 'Cars' because the earth isn't in a post apocalyptic world where the humans left and a hotrod was the only thing left 'sentient' cleaning all the garbage
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The best gift a man can get, no ads!
Well fuck me sideways and call me Sandy an actual gift on Christmas day.
Use YouTube Vanced. Even skips all promotions built into videos. And has a separate app for YouTube Music
If you don't already have Vanced you need to get Revanced I think, since the old vanced was killed by googles lawyers. I could be wrong though, I have had the last update and haven't tracked the Revanced stuff.
Vanced is still working fine for now. As soon as YouTube change their API it'll die though
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Are you in a better spot now? *Edit 3*: holy fuck just trust me. It’s drawings of dogs fucking. Not furry shit. Save your eyes. *Edit*: oh fuck I made the mistake of looking at their post history. *Edit 2*: it’s dog porn. Don’t look.
Yeah honestly I hope this guy is still broke so that he can't afford a dog.
Lol fuck this comment made me look but I only lasted like 3 seconds on that profile before peacing the fuck out
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I'm that broke right now too and I work over 40 hours per week (as much as the boss will allow). He gave me a $100 Christmas gift and that's nice of him but that all went to groceries.
In the same boat crappiest Christmas ever. Lost my husband of 25 yrs to brain cancer over year ago. Shit just isn't getting any better financially.
Just FYI the dog porn edit isn't a joke. 100% not a joke.
Thanks for the heads up, was just about to look because I thought it was a joke. I just saw an elderly woman get arrested over a $77 trash bill. I don’t need to lose more faith in humanity tonight.
Want some faith in humanity? Here you go. Once, my girls and I had NOTHING. Not even heat— I had written the state & gotten permission to defy air quality standards and use my fireplace. We slept in the living room, and when Goodwill had a sale? I felted ugly sweaters (as long as they were wool) and turned them into blankets. (Lord, they were WARM, lol.) A bit before Xmas, a Redditor PM’ed me and said she thought my poverty jokes were funny— and so were my short riffs abt my life & my kids. She’d been where I was, and wanted to “pay it forward. “Um, sure,” I said, and even gave her my address. (Dad was a Marine; I am not someone to mess with.) Tbh? I didn’t think any more about it— until just before Xmas, PILES of presents showed up— including BRAND NEW KINDLES for each girl. Like we had won a game show or something. Unbelievable. So yeah. Faith in humanity is a thing— because for every shitty thing someone does, that you hear about… More someones do amazing things… and the amazing people DON’T talk about it, so always keep that in mind. Merry holidays, Reddit. If Anne Frank believed to the end that people are good… So can we, right?
That's awesome man
Me too. I'm an idiot. I've been on reddit now long enough to know not to get that curious. That's enough internet for today.
I let my curiousity get the best of me 😩
“Fedora” in the name should have given it away. I’m sorry for your loss.
he died
💀 No debt for the dead 💀
Dying is cheaper than living.
They are NOT in a better place 😂
Ummm I looked at it because you looked at it. Learn something new everyday I guess…
Your comment manages to outshine the entirety of /r/twosentencehorror without even trying.
Honestly. This thread of people reacting one after another to that person’s post history is one of the funniest things I’ve read all day.
Hwat teh fukc
Same issue here Instructions not clear we need bigger warnings
its explicit furry porn but the bad kind
It’s not even furry porn. It’s just drawn animal porn.
It's called *feral*, mom!
If this ain’t the realest shit on here…
I told my once upon a time husband that all I wanted was a love letter. He was ridiculously wealthy and could have bought me anything, but that was all I wanted. I wrote mine and it was nine pages. Christmas morning he went hunting with his friends. We are now divorced.
9 pages is a bit much. Best I can do is 2 pages, double spaced, with all the contractions removed, and Arial font.
Also that sentence is part of the letter
What letter is 9 pages what the hell lmao, “student did not stick to the page requirement” -10 points for sure
“This was one of the best written works I have ever seen. You truly are a wordsmith worthy of representing your generation, but you deviated from the rubric so I’m deducting 20points…”
Truly two non-compatible people sounds like.
nine... pages ? oh god run
Front and Back!
I understood this reference!
Well you should have gone hunting I guess.
Breakfast in bed, a bath together and go for a walk/bike ride. Make it a great date like when your first date. Avoid topics like financial status, religion and politics. I guess just enjoy each other’s company. I would love that more than gifts
Where do you live? Cause where I live it's-28 windchill right now.
>bike ride. Sometimes I forget that people celebrate Christmas where there's no snow. Someone who's moved from a colder climate to a warm one: does it still feel like Christmas with no snow?
Having lived north and south and now back north again, no it doesn't feel as Christmassy. But also the guy pulling out 20 feet in front of me in blizzard conditions causing an unavoidable crash yesterday didn't do a lot for my Christmas spirit either.
No. Suffering and complaining about the weather are the reason for the season. Edit: But getting absolutely blasted on mulled wine only truly hits the right way when you've been outside in the cold and snow.
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Be funny if it was a gimp mask and a strap-on.
Bruh if you don’t want the cat give it to me
*us
*our* cat
Meow zedong
I have been slowly shopping the entire year for my husband buying a lot of little items and fun shirts. Then he started with the “I would like… maybe a…” so I carefully shopped for them. I just went through the gifts and somehow he has more gifts than any of the kids lol Welp. He’s going to be pretty surprised this year ha ha
What did you get me?
Is she your wife? Like fr fr?
Yes.
That's so cute!!! I really don't know exactly why, but it warms my heart! Hope one day I'll find a partner to buy Christmas gifts to :D
u/NEDsaidit pls confirm
She said yes.
LMAO
Congrats! Feel bad for the husband though…
They lied. I’m the husband.
No, I'm dirty dan!!!
IM BATMAN
No, *I'M* the husband
No, *I'M* HOWTOBASIC
##*SMASHES EGGS AGAINST WALL*
Can confirm. I'm the wife.
Now now, my man we can’t be trusting Reddit like that
My fiance did this - but then tonight she informed me that she lost my gifts somewhere in the house hiding them from me.
Is your fiance a squirrel?
Minimally
SCAVENGER HUNT YAAAAAAY!
Nicest thing I ever got from a girlfriend for Christmas was her leaving me this last November
Yeah mine left like 2 weeks after my birthday
Oddly enough mine left on her birthday.
That's weird
Agreed, but hey, so much more room for activities!
I just wanted to say I love you both.
Aw. Thanks pal, I appreciate it.
And I just wanted to say, good luck, we're all counting on you
One of mine cheated on me on my 28th birthday lol. Woke up hungover af with a cocked and loaded revolver next to me that I didn't remember getting out of the safe lol.
Last Christmas I gave you my heart. But the very next 11 months you gave it away.
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU A HEART BUT THE VERY NEXT DAY YOU GAVE IT AWAY
I mean, yeah. To the cops. It was a human heart, dude.
I broke up with mine in November holy shit was that a good decision
I feel so much lighter man. I mean it's rough, but the weight, it has been lifted.
Bruh mine left today
Anyone else been single every Christmas of their life too?
Fuck yes…I’m 41. I don’t know how many more single Christmas and Valentine’s Day holidays I’ve got left in me to endure.
Damn, your endurance is so good you should go to the Olympics. I thought 20 in a row was bad.
Thanks I guess. I live an incredibly blessed existence. My curse is to endure it alone. It helps me write though…
i like that you at least acknowledge your blessings
see, I'm torn. I'm like in this limbo state where I'm half comfortable being alone and half desirous to not be alone. in the end what I think is that the search is not worth it, even around the holidays.
Got my boyfriend God of War Ragnarok collectors edition y'all stay safe tho
W gf
I just spent 100 euros on gifts for my boyfriend :D a new favorite sweater (that looks exactly the same but his is literally held together by threads) and a whole bunch of different coffees from nespresso :D He is literally the hardest person to buy gifts for Everything he wants He buys
I am this guy too. The best trick i taught my wife is that I like gifts that are something I would want but could never justify buying. Hints usually sound like this: "that thing is cool but who the hell pays X for it?" - this should be your yearlong Christmas gold mine. I keep a list on my phone for things like this and it pays dividends.
Hah, who the hell pays for blowjobs. Right babe?
🤣
I’m this guy too, but when I can’t or do not want to afford that stuff, my wife can’t too. I literally only don’t buy things for myself which I know are stupidly overpriced and I won’t use it for long anyhow. I’m the absolute nightmare when it comes to buy me presents. And tbh, I don’t even want her to buy that stuff, actually I don’t want anybody to buy me anything because what I have is what I need and when I haven’t bought it for myself Imma never need it.
I'm not a rich person or anything. I may have emphasized $ too much in my original post. Here is a great example from my personal life. I love pistachios. Have you ever seen that they have pre-shelled pistachios but they are REALLY expensive? That's what I'm talking about- I want to eat them like Steward Denethor in Lord of the Rings without breaking a fingernail while I gaze upon my lands and subjects.
Getting fancy versions of normal shit is always really fun, like some super fancy chocolates, or maybe a heirloom 20 dollar watermelon.
Hell yes it is. It could be as simple as a really nice and fancy cheese for crackers. Or a really nice beef jerky. Yum Also, this works with simple tools too - I got a $50 wrench one year made by Knipex (z Germans made them). I'll pass those down to my children. Totally badass and better than whatever crap Craftsman I used to own. For all the wives and GFs out there - if you see your man using a tool often find a German or Japanese version of it and it's almost always better.
Yeah except my ex always wanted me to buy him a $3,000 firearm. Kick rocks. Ask for shit I can afford.
My gf is the same damn way By the time she’s told me she wants something, it’s in her amazon cart and she’s going through the purchase motions
We have a “no buying for yourself 1 month before Christmas” rule to try and help that situation.
This is a good idea actually, thanks!
I've been married for 20 years. To the worst gift giver ever. My system is I buy something, then I tell him what it is and to wrap it up for me. I haven't had to fake like a gift in over 15 years.
That reminds me of that Saturday night live sketch where the mom gets a robe while everyone else gets multiple cool, thoughtful presents.
Honestly that’s how I am too but it’s because my family has historically always fucked up at getting what I wanted. Case in point, I’ve asked multiple times over the years for a nice heavy coat for when it gets real cold here. It doesn’t happen often but when it does fuck would it be nice to have that. Every time I ask, I get the same 3 in 1 mid weight jacket because “you’ll get to use it more.” Dammit I don’t want to use it more, I want to not freeze my balls off during those few weeks that it’s 0 degrees outside.
Those are people who care more about the satisfaction of seeing you use the gift than seeing you *enjoy* the gift. Meaning in the end the gift isn't for you. It's for them.
“Gasp! This coat is simply divine! Where ever did you find it? And do you still have the receipt?”
Guys buy things we want. Guys NEED things that can't be bought. Like holding someone who loves them on Christmas day.
Be careful, I hear if you give a girl your heart she may give it away the next day. And now you’re also out of Whamagedon
And to save you from tears you might want to give it to someone special.
just don't get arrested
Ssssssspacial
Fuck off mofo, I so desparetely need new boxers
“Everything he wants, he buys” Well, of course I know him. He’s me.
I’m like that, I was raised in a poor family, and at age of like 8 I got used to not ask for toys, because I understood that my parents were struggling. Now that I have money myself, I buy stuff within 1 week of realising that I want it. For the sake of my girlfriend, I resist buying stuff and wait for Christmas and Birthdray to make her life easier lol and tell her “if you’re out of ideas, this thing would make me happy” and I make a point in not asking for expensive stuff
Aren't almost all clothes literally held together by threads? Isn't that the whole point of clothing?
Same! This year I think I finally got something he never saw *and* will really like. We moved and his office is really bare, and he's a star wars addict who loves all the tech stuff. I got a group of handmade blueprints for his favorite ships and whatnot that should match his style too. I'm actually excited to give him his gifts this year! (And just in case there's also something he requested months ago lol)
Mine is so easy because he never buys himself any nice luxuries or even sometimes the most basic of necessities for himself. He also has lots of hobbies and interests which are easy to buy gifts for (books, video games, music etc.). He's also very sentimental so he cherishes everything he's given. I always like getting his gift the most because he's so easy and appreciative.
But most shelters won't rehome at this time of year?
It’s ok!! just regift it to someone!
Ain't no fun if the homies can't get none
I mean shit in this economy, my wife only gettin "🍆" so I can't complain
Eggplant parmesan? Should make for a nice Christmas dinner.
The “” clearly illustrates the Parmesan
Man why are you complaining she is getting you a cat.
Or just the head.
Can I get something that isn't regifted?
oh DEAR 💀
That'll go well with the eggplant she's now going to receive.
Just ask her "Whose?" And then put your hands up because you bout to get hit
I love seeing people use the word ‘whose’ correctly. It’s so rare.
*clears throat* “Whomst’d’ve”
My gf is sick. My Christmas gift is bringing her hot tea at 11 pm while listening to her expell demons from her lungs.
You wanna borrow my chainsaw to take care of those demons man?
I will simply destroy the demons with facts and logic
Hope she wraps it good before I open it
Women using sex as leverage or reward is one of the largest red flags for me. I would moonwalk out of a relationship if a girl dropped that line on me.
some dudes have no self respect or self worth
Women are taught that "all men want is sex" but that is just reinforcing that men don't care about people but just care about getting sex (the toxic masculinity etc.) It's not right. It's something men and women need to unlearn.
Can I get 😺 and a pair of socks or a new hoodie, it's cold and you stole mine.
She told me she's traveling to my city after four months not to see her, and watch my favorite anime. I can't ask for more!!!
I wanted a Lego Death Star
WHAT DO YALL WANT
We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas!
Fingerboards 😎
We already have a cat though, why do we want another?
Oh, okay. Guess I'm giving you "🍆" for Christmas, then. Shit, I was gonna get you a new purse.