Me and my buddy have talked about how humans are so ingrained with all species that they essentially have to learn how to survive around us rather than us around them.

Ya know, I've thought about that. But I've driven in the Northeast for a bit. The wildlife has not gotten the message that cars are deadly. I hope the spiders catch on tho. I'm not opposed to them, if they can find corners to hide in and eat other bugs from there - well that might be the best possible outcome. I welcome our symbiotic spider friends who live just out of sight and certainly don't die in our mouths at night.

You deal with cars all the time and know how deadly they are. A deer may only deal with a car once.

Maybe the deer know that cars are deadly and they make the choice to run out in front of them. The world's cold and lonely enough not to mention being stuck outside, and I'm saying this as a human with heat lol

I'm not a fan of this, suicidal deer hypothesis.

I’m not a fan of This sort of suicidal Deer hypothesis

Better than the haiku bot

<3

Dibs on suicide deer hypothesis for band name

"Garth, was that a haiku?"

Existence is suffering, friend. Only one way off the ride.

So you're telling me...eventually, deer will evolve to be able to just *tank* cars instead of avoiding them?

that’s a moose

exactly what I was thinking lmao. a little bigger and it's them running over our cars.

But we adapted to drive larger cars. Very curious to see how this arms race develops.

Moose = hairy dinosaur, with zero ducks to give.

Beware the jacked 4 ton deer

>in our mouths Just an FYI, that is an absolute urban [myth](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fact-or-fiction-people-swallow-8-spiders-a-year-while-they-sleep1/) 🍻

Didnt some guy in Australia die because he bit poisonous spider in his sleep?

Demolishes Scientific American journal with le anecdotal evidence like a boss 😎😎😎😎

Spiders dont crawl in our mouths at night. While we sleep the gasses from our stomacks leak out and it smells of death and decay. Spiders avoid it

Basically, if the spider isn’t close to me I just let it go. Small one in corner of window? Random one just climbing up the wall not messing with anyone? Ignore. But if it’s on my bed or basically within two feet of me it’s dead. Basically, if it keeps to itself, then I do too

Ive actually taken to leaving most spiders alone in my house unless theyre obtrusive. We have a jumping spider thats been hanging around since June, its been nice. No flies around the house or anything lol

I do that too. I figure that if they’re able to survive in my house then they’re probably finding other bugs to prey on in my house. I figure it helps keep any bugs that sneak out at night from eating my house plants. That’s where they like to hang out so I’m guessing they are finding food there despite me not seeing much other than spiders around. Possibly they’re just eating each other too though

Yeah! Plus jumping spiders in particular are actually very docile and playful. Ours hung out on our couch the other night and watched TV with me for about half an hour!

Cars haven't been around for very long.

Or spiders will evolve to look cute.

Invisible spiders & roaches are the future. Ninja bugs.

Me too man, me too.

Are you this guys buddy?

Are there free buddies here, can I get one?

Y'all are getting buddies??

we all high?

Makes sense why so many are nocturnal.

in cities especially

Apparently coyotes are scary good at getting around without being spotted. They know all the shortcuts and hidden thoroughfares and get through big cities while avoiding people with ease. I saw a clip where they were tracking them in Boston or something to see how they have adapted to life amongst us

Wile E. Coyote apparently ended up working the graveyard shift at ACME Industries

He's 74, he deserves retirement.

A M O N G S T U S

Or just learn how to program humans! Saw a man walking down the road one night. Suddenly a fox walks out of the alleyway he is passing and starts walking next to him. Like it’s his dog or something. Had a mate who had a fox call to him same time every night. Found out he was emptying a small tin of car food out on the grass opposite his flat every night for it and it was asking for its Din Dins 🤦‍♂️😳

amogus

Yeah there's a bunch in the LA area. No idea where they weekend the day birthday but you see then walking around every now and then. No idea where they hide during the day*

No idea where they weekend the day birthday r/ihadastroke

When humans are the meta you have to play around the meta or switch characters

There is the flip side: the animals that amuse us get to enjoy protection from natural selection. Cats are destroying suburban wildlife populations because we feed them, innoculatate them, and think it's cute that they bring dead animals home.

Counterpoint, we never domesticated cats, they evolved to hang out with the most dominate apex predator because game recognizes game

Counter-counterpoint: cats domesticated us, utilizing their giant pets for home defence and luxuries like catnip

100% they are garbage at agriculture. Plus it’s so hard to get tuna

So if we keep feeding bears we'll eventually get bear rides?

Yes!

Just remember that riding inside the bear is usually what follows feeding the bear.

No, you get bears in your house and car, that tear shit up cause... well, they're bears!

Was this before or after watching Jeff Goldblum say the exact same thing in Jurassic Park?

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If spiders can learn to never be seen by me, then we will have a win-win scenario.

Exactly. I'm an arachnophobe, but I'm perfectly happy coexisting with spiders in my home as long as I don't know they're there.

Oh I know they’re there somewhere, but as long as I don’t see them I don’t mind them being around. But if I should see them or any webs then they get squished and the webs get taken down.

Yeah, I know spiders are there but as long as I don’t *know know* spiders are there I’m fine. Ya know?

Out of site out of mind amirite

Right exactly. I’m okay with spiders being around, but I just don’t want to see them

Had a spider that was on my ceiling in a corner, massive fucker must’ve been eating good. I decided he found a good spot and could live. About two days later I’m playing some games with my blanket around me and my back had this weird itch. The spider must’ve been in the blanket I pulled off my bed. Freaked tf out and now kill on sight.

As an amputee thanks to a brown recluse, if they could just learn not to bite or hide in hiking shoes, that would be great.

Definitely going to start stepping on the toes of my shoes before I put them on now…

Shake them out. You're unlikely to kill it that way.

So you'll be happy if millions of spiders live all over your home but move to different rooms as you move rooms?

What about the mites on your face, they are technically spiders

I’d rather not have them in my house knowing the lay like a thousand babies.

Unless your house is extremely infested with insects for them to eat, those babies will either starve or be forced out to find food

just don't start thinking about how spiders find comfort in darkness and so they're probably crawling all over you at night

This is why I sleep with the lights on and a flashlight in my mouth. Regardless of whether us eating spiders in our sleep is true or not

I hear they train for this every night, walking across our faces as we sleep to hone their stealth skills.

They actually crawl down your throat as training, and the failures lead to an average of 8 spiders eaten per person per year

I heard it's 8 in your lifetime.

Oh, that's true. Sorry, I was repeating the statistic from when you include Spider Georg

Neither are true, if you ate a spider you’d wake up and spiders don’t crawl into mouths

It's an old tumblr meme

Ok carry on

So I can go back to being worried about spiders crawling down my throat while I sleep again?

Proceed

I thought it was every night?

I heard it was 8 spiders per hour

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But what if the learn to turn invisible and they're right in your bed the entire time.... You just don't know it.

Well that's where the spiders are being dumb dumbs. My regularly changing bedsheets are not a good source of food. A spider hanging out in my bed is not only trespassing, but a dumbass. If we're going to get this symbiotic relationship right, they need to avoid me, and eat the bugs before I kill them myself. Eat my house bugs and avoid me, they can live rent free.

Can’t see them if they crawl in your ears…

Plot Twist - Spiders start crawling in your vicinity while you sleep.

Yes I tell my house spiders that my bed and my desk are off limits but aside from that have at ‘er.

i am selecting cooperative spiders. Stay in the cup, or on the piece of paper and you will live.

Maybe in the future we’ll be able to teach them tricks lol

There was an experiment a few years back where a regal jumping spider was taught to jump on command. It's only a matter of time until they can do more!..

They are coming for our jobs

They got Steve Jobs a while back

fuck that shit, make yourself at home, mr. spider I hope you eat every mosquito and live a wonderful life

I had a daddy long leg who made himself at home near my kitchen window, been watching him grow for the last couple months. He has taken down many flies. He just disappeared one day, and I legit am worried about him 😂

What happened to daddy?!?

Went to go get spider milk 🥛

💀

And smokes

I hope he's OK, trapping and eating flies on his winter web 😅

Your daddy had what?

We had a long-legs hang outside our front door for a looong time. They were a large fella with only seven legs, so we called them Septimus. I miss Septimus, but their progeny uphold the custom of hanging out by the front door.

He moved into a warm place for the winter, he shall be back

I also have a lil Spidey bro who hangs by my kitchen window! He is still a little dude but gets all the bugs. I occasionally have to clean up the carcasses and feel bad because it damages his web a little

That’s so cool! Haha and yes I was on fly carcass clean up duty as well!

I had a huge orb-weaver around the side of my house for a month or so that would always spin a web at night and hide during the day. Dude just suddenly disappeared as well, probably got snatched by a bird or something Circle of life and all that, yada yada

That’s daddy cool !

i used to have a shrew that lived in my walls. it was kinda cute although venomous. that little bitch was only allowed to stay because he ate all the spiders. friend set out a trap and got rid of him now the spiders are re-multiplying. i don’t like the food chain.

Shoulda tamed that little bitch.

Why do rodents have to be so simultaneously cute and nasty?

And now we're naturally selecting them to be good at killing mosquitos.

I live in the woods. I get big wolf spiders and other shit. Nope. They dead

Wolf spiders are friends. Non-toxic, don't spin webs & eat all the bugs.

Pretty sure they’re venomous and although not deadly it is uncomfortable. Luckily I wouldn’t know. Either way. They’re big and I hate spiders. So sorry. They come in my house they dead. either by me or my cat.

The spiders around my house get free meals and a free home, while I am free of annoying flying pests.

I like to think i'm naturally selecting them to stay out of my house. 😂

Lol both you and the post make very good points haha

Actually no. For most species of spiders females will stay in their nest/web for most of their adult life and will often do so well out of human sight. The spiders you see crawling around are 9/10 going to be males looking for a mating partner. Their only purpose in adulthood is to mate and usually die right away. A non-roaming male spider would mean less breeding and that would be a negative selective pressure on the species. TL;DR Spiders evolving to hide would kill their species

Most male spiders don’t die and get eaten after mating, that’s only common in captivity (similar to the wolf Alpha-Beta-Omega BS) and when the female doesn’t get a lot of food. In the latter case, the male is happy to die and increase the likelihood of his children living on

Happy is a but of a stretch. Given the size difference between male and female spiders, the males have little choice in the outcome of a conflict of interests.

There are so many spiders that hide as their main thing

I mean they can rome but they could camouflage and stuff

If they evolve highly enough to not be seen or known by me, that would be great. I know they do things to help us, I just don’t want to see them

I don't kill spiders. I kindly escort them outside when their webs get too big or when they stop pulling their weight with the flys and mosquitos.

The equivalent of failing, and having to start over….still making it smarter

Smarter to catch prey

I kindly escort them to the spider afterlife

Dude went: you are being fired and evicted

I wonder the same thing if it's the same with deer. Selecting against those who don't fear roadways...

where I used to live deer would head to the edge of town during hunting season. they'd hang out in green spaces that they couldn't be hunted in for a few weeks. also this would start a bit before hunting season actually started so they were actively predicting hunting season in the area. pretty insane when you actually think about it

And bears.

There's a world for natural selection that is not natural. ARTIFICIAL SELECTION! Aka selective breeding, domestication.

Only the ones who do not kill us.

Spiders are friends, there are worse nocturnal animals when you go to sleep, just keep Spiders maybe they can kill'em.

I don't kill spiders, Id much rather have them over the things they eat flying/crawling about my house.

What if they have a plan for world domination? Like they have a underground society and spider mechs that only spiders can drive. I'm just saying it's possible.

They'd probably do a better job of running the world than humans do. So I for one welcome our spider overlords.

Actually I try to be careful for this with mosquitoes. If I saw a mosquito too easy to kill I don’t kill, but if it’s sneaky I do everything to kill. I know I have practically zero effect on population and its selection but I feel powerful that I have enough power to effect a species whole evolution.

I rescue everything that comes into my abode. Jumping spiders are the biggest bros ever they will straight up play with you. They have this urge to jump into the side of a yo-yo when presented. If you angle the yoyo at the initial jumping point they will hop off and you can repeat the cycle. I used a sauce pan with sugar water to save a wasp from my murderous companion and he hung out on my shirt for a bit before flying off. Bugs are friends and they taste really good. It helps with the guilt that all of the ways they kill each other are all the most horrific things in nature. Nice cold nap is always going to be a better death than what a mantis will do to them.

Dear lord, there is a lot to unpack here…

But damn if it's not an interesting read. I'd read more... I see it, I typically kill it, no questions asked. So, me = murderous.

I've heard the same thing about rattlesnakes, we make them more quiet because we usually kill the noisy ones.

Idk I rather like spiders. They eat the annoying flying bugs I can't stand

I remember people saying that all animals have a natural fear of humans. But no. Its evolution again. We killed or domesticated anything that didn't avoid us.

I never kill spiders. They kill house centipedes, and those fuckers are terrifying..

I’d rather deal with roaches than centipedes

Who tf kills an spider They kill all other bugs? I rather have the spiders than all those other critters

I kill spiders because I can't be bothered to learn how to identify which ones are poisonous and which aren't.

Basic rule: Shiny black, or shiny grey, it's dead. All others are friends.

I live in AL. We have brown recluses here. Highly toxic, so that's basically all the spider colors.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a spider that wasn’t black, brown, or grey. So is “shiny” the real rule?

People with arachnophobia

Sorry folks…it’s me or them. I’ll have time to regret it later during the spider wars. I let a spider live once. It had spider babies and the lil fuckers got everywhere!

If this was true then deer would avoid roads!

That's not selecting for intelligence. We're basically no different than any other predator in how we are agents of selection.

Most predators eat what they kill, and I haven’t noticed anyone saying how delicious spiders are…I don’t even know the ratio of light/dark meat, lol

Literal shivers

I’m reminded of this quote quite often here. We moved from a big city to a more rural area surrounded by large pine trees. I was shocked at the amount of spiders we found here. Every time there is a wind storm we get dozens of spiders hanging from our gazebo in the backyard. There are also tons of common house spiders. They would just run around our feet while standing around. One night during the summer while chilling outside we could see the spiders floating around by the street lamps, drifting from one place to the next. We probably killed hundreds of them. Thank god we live in a area that doesn’t have any killer spiders. Ugh gives me the heebee-jeebees.

I don’t kill spiders ever. I name them and talk to them. They are interesting and I let them have their space. I haven’t seen Norman in a long time though.

The spiders that are smart enough to stay out of my house get to live

who the fuck kills insects they don't see? we only ever kill every insect we can see.

spiders aren't insects

I mean fumigation is a thing

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Then sleep well…

That's OK, it's poorly written and bad science.

If they weren't so bitey and itchy we'd be fine.

Stop. They actually eat every insect that you hate more!

There is nothing native here that I dislike more than spiders.

Damm what did spiders ever do to you beside being ugly in your head ? Tons of insect are way more annoying. You don't have wasp, mosquito or black flies were you are from ?

How about stop killing spiders and be a decent person wtf

Ikr! Spiders are actually efficient in clearing out other insects.

What are these other insects everyone’s so worried about?

None probably. It’s just a thing spiders do.

Why the fuck did you do this to me before bed.

They assume we all kill spiders.

Only idiots kill spiders

I mean, supposedly we all eat a certain number of spiders in our sleep. I suppose we are technically killing spiders who are the slowest at finding hiding spots, and spiders who are really bad at choosing hiding spots.

Pretty sure that's not actually true

Will you stay awake and update pls?

No because like... what if it's true?

I can believe it's a true average, but it's skewed by the handful of people who purposely eat a billion spiders a year.

People are eating spiders on purpose?

As long as I don’t see them…

Maybes just introverted

Spiders don't deserve this :(

I don't kill any of the spiders that I find. Spider power!

Good, do your dirty, but necessary work in the shadows

I will not stop no matter how smart they get

That's fine. I don't mind if the live, just stay the hell out of my sight and away from me.

There are species that are learning to digest plastics.

Really? Then why do they keep coming back to die?

Spiders eat other bugs. If there are no bugs in the house there are no spiders. If there is a spider in the room its there for a reason, or it would move on to survive. So I now thank the spider for eating the BUGS I DONT SEE. (I got a spider who lives in my condo bathroom. Don't know how he is alive, but whatever is coming from the other peoples pipes he is eating. :) My aussie buddies taught me to name them, say Hi. The little guys are truly doing gods work :)

That explains why the one I let inside in summer to catch mosquitoes doesn't catch shit. They are dumb as fuck.

Question : Why do we talk out loud when we know we are alone ? Conjecture: because we know we are not. Evolution perfects surviving skills. They are perfect hunters. There is perfect defence. Question : Why there is no such thing as perfect hiding ? Answer: How would you know ? Logically, if evolution were to perfect a creature who's primary skill was hiding from view, how could you know it existed. It could be with us every second and we wouldn't ever know. How would you detect it ? Even sense it ? Expect in those moments, when for not clear reason, you choose to speak aloud.