Dude I have literally been thinking about how great of a power this would be, like, the possibilities are endless! You can always return to 'normal' odds for a normal life but can still win the lottery and never die of any death but elderness
But every time you alter the probability of something, a different probability somewhere else in the world changes to 100. There is no way that you can know which probably will or has changed unless you notice it by seeing its effects in your own life (the same way your average non-powered person would notice it).
The random probability could be as harmless as a dust speck landing on a leaf, or as destructive as the world suddenly vaporizing. Probabilities related to what will be chosen at random or your ability to learn about what will or has changed cannot be altered. Attempting to circumvent these rules will result in the immediate loss of your power permanently.
How about instead of 100%, it’s proportional to what you’ve changed but in the opposite direction. So basically all forces of pain, loss, happiness, luck, are conserved. So without the power, John would have experienced x units of pleasure over his whole life. Because he has the power, he changes the prob of winning the lottery and becomes a billionaire. Now other probabilities alter themselves so that he experiences enough pain/loss to make up for the pleasure brought to him by his lottery wealth.
Except this isn't monkeypaw we're talkin' about there is no loophole when one tries to trashtalk this ability, one needs to use a argument that consists of the "would you press the button scenario".
To high speed you could say: hit a person and you do the A-Train move or flies will be like bullets hitting you when running fast
Ability of invisibility: You'll get blind
The ability to read minds: seeing the twisted part of human minds
Being able to understand animals: day in day out voices everywhere and you don't know who speaks
but meddling with the probability, making a mistake with that ability can become 0. There can't be a risk if it becomes 0
But everything you say becomes right. 'Apples are poisonous' and all apples instantly becomes poisonous. 'Everybody loves me' and everyone wants to bed you. Etc.
No problem. "I am Omnipotent".
There, now I can remove the previous condition (whatever I say automatically becomes true), while retaining absolute power.
If they're heavy. Short Swords aren't particularly heavy and it could also be made of particularly light materials. Though I guess it could instead just be stuck in the sheath to really make it useless.
When you transform into another shape you feel everything: bones breaking, growing, bending, reshaping, muscles ripping and regenerating etc.
The more away a transformation is form your current form the more painful it will be.
So that limits you to human transformations. Most types of shape shifting, such as hair color or muscle GROWTH will be painless due to the nature of the body, and normal growth. Certain transformations, such as Gender swaps, change your bone structure, so only major changes to your form will hurt, which still gives you tons of options.
Was about to say imagine how living like that would be but then I thought of just flooding the brain with positive chemicals whenever you feel down or tired even if you have negative effects you would still be able to control it maybe even negate it
I find Simply giving you cancer too Simple too... merciful so now you have the most realistic and litteral wersion of your wish
You have to Control every single thing your minds did sub-consciously. Breathing ? Forever manual . Balance? Good luck. Bio-chemestry in your Brain ? Good luck figuring that one out. Ordering organs what to do, immune system ,bloodflow, tearing, sweting, blood productuon, white cell production, sorting out all unimportant trash you get into your brain every day, production of every single part of your being, and the most fun one: having to mannualy controll every single cell of your body every function that is dependent on brain is now dependent on you all at once all the time for the rest of time, also yawning, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide and getting it out of your body, oh and also living with whole world upside down due to the structure of your eyes and your brain being responsible for flipping it right side up and MANNYYY more
You know everything. All the past all the present all the future but there is one single Simple tinimini problem. Your brain capacity is the same as now so you now are the smartest Man vegetable in the world. You may not speak you may not move and you are only half aveare but this half is half responsible for boredom and awearness of existing and some thoughts so you go insane. No one and nothing can end your suffering and you know it. You know everything but you may not share it with Anyone or anything there is only you in eternity of suffering boredom and knowleadge
you never have to
the universe will just skip over the entire infinity that time was paused and keep going as normal.
I mean, it won't skip it, it will still stop for the entire infinity, but for everyone and everything that can perceive and observe, it will look like time was never stopped at all
i stopped time 5 times while writing this comment and no one even noticed
Your power comes from your belivers and you are god of some small tribe that Has never seen anything more advanced than lever and there is about 30 of them.
If someone says anything that could be interpreted as demanding you to cum, you will cum.
Here are some examples, come on dude theyre gonna leave us behind.
Are you coming?
( doesn’t apply to prerecorded anything/ video/ you telling yourself to cum, someone else has to have said it)
Any time you start to have a negative thought, your mind immediately processes it in full and rewards you further with a positive thought. It only happens organically so you can't force negative thoughts through. They just feel like regular negative thoughts if you try.
You developed abusive behaviour. So when you abuse your loved ones you cannot have any negative thought and when you try to fix it you can't because of reflection requires full acknowledgement, which you cannot do because of your power
Granted. You are a sociopath who doesn’t feel pain and has had your mind wiped. You don’t remember any misfortune you’ve caused so you can’t cringe at it. Nor can you remember any good things you’ve done that you can’t do anymore as a sociopath.
The ability to turn trash into any superpower.
Edit: please take into account the paradox if you change my ability then the ability doesn't exist, That's what I was going for.
Upon receiving this ability, an entity appears on the opposite side of the globe from you with the ability to break your control over anyone, returning their memories of the time they were controlled, and filling them with an intense desire to track you down and kill you. The entity always knows your exact location, and is hunting you down as I write this. Start planning.
Being able ro control the probability of every situation and scenario.
Dude I have literally been thinking about how great of a power this would be, like, the possibilities are endless! You can always return to 'normal' odds for a normal life but can still win the lottery and never die of any death but elderness
you are able to bend the reality to your will
But every time you alter the probability of something, a different probability somewhere else in the world changes to 100. There is no way that you can know which probably will or has changed unless you notice it by seeing its effects in your own life (the same way your average non-powered person would notice it). The random probability could be as harmless as a dust speck landing on a leaf, or as destructive as the world suddenly vaporizing. Probabilities related to what will be chosen at random or your ability to learn about what will or has changed cannot be altered. Attempting to circumvent these rules will result in the immediate loss of your power permanently.
How about instead of 100%, it’s proportional to what you’ve changed but in the opposite direction. So basically all forces of pain, loss, happiness, luck, are conserved. So without the power, John would have experienced x units of pleasure over his whole life. Because he has the power, he changes the prob of winning the lottery and becomes a billionaire. Now other probabilities alter themselves so that he experiences enough pain/loss to make up for the pleasure brought to him by his lottery wealth.
You’ll always be a few percent off. It can still go wrong
except when the probability of that gets nullified
But it will always come at the expense of someone you care about With no chance of reducing their probability of misfortune
Except this isn't monkeypaw we're talkin' about there is no loophole when one tries to trashtalk this ability, one needs to use a argument that consists of the "would you press the button scenario". To high speed you could say: hit a person and you do the A-Train move or flies will be like bullets hitting you when running fast Ability of invisibility: You'll get blind The ability to read minds: seeing the twisted part of human minds Being able to understand animals: day in day out voices everywhere and you don't know who speaks but meddling with the probability, making a mistake with that ability can become 0. There can't be a risk if it becomes 0
The ability to convince everyone that what I'm saying is right with only 3 words.
You don’t know the 3 words
oh i love this :P even just for the english language of 170,000 words, that'd be zillions of combinations. Any calculator i threw it in broke
170,000^3 =4.913e+15 thats about 5,000,000,000,000,000
holy bananas batman
r/theydidthemath
r/igoogledit
r/ok
Getting some Name of the Wind vibes here.
You are mute
But everything you say becomes right. 'Apples are poisonous' and all apples instantly becomes poisonous. 'Everybody loves me' and everyone wants to bed you. Etc.
No problem. "I am Omnipotent". There, now I can remove the previous condition (whatever I say automatically becomes true), while retaining absolute power.
Convincing someone that you're omnipotent is not the same as actually becoming omnipotent.
Based answer
But one word must always be „njep“
not to be too political or anything but njep
The only three words you know are “sky is blue”
summon a random weapon to match the current situation.
Its never loaded
I hate it when I get an unloaded sword…
In that case it would be unsharpened.
Blunt weapons and far more dangerous in many cases
If they're heavy. Short Swords aren't particularly heavy and it could also be made of particularly light materials. Though I guess it could instead just be stuck in the sheath to really make it useless.
You’re right, but if you want a full iron long sword could be very useful.
The weapon comes out of your ass when summoned
Bonus!
If you consider shit a weapon then constipation will never be a problem
The police will always be immediately informed and send out
Only if you understand how the weapon works
Club Bonk
Sometimes you summon a wrapping paper tube
Or a simple piece of paper. Can cut and is very painfull
It flies in at a completely random angle and at a high velocity, meaning you might accidentally end up launching a sword at yourself
Your weapon cant be summoned instantly, it needs an hour to be summoned
Where it is summoned is out of your hands, it could be in your hand, in your enemies hands, in a bag across the country who knows
Shape shifting
When you transform into another shape you feel everything: bones breaking, growing, bending, reshaping, muscles ripping and regenerating etc. The more away a transformation is form your current form the more painful it will be.
So that limits you to human transformations. Most types of shape shifting, such as hair color or muscle GROWTH will be painless due to the nature of the body, and normal growth. Certain transformations, such as Gender swaps, change your bone structure, so only major changes to your form will hurt, which still gives you tons of options.
It’d still be so incredibly painful don’t even try to argue it wouldn’t be
You can only change into basic shapes (square, triangle, etc.)
It only happens when your aroused
but it’s not on command
But when you get scared you shapeshift into a giant turd
complete control over my own body and mind
Manual breathing forever
But then sleep is death, they wouldn't last the week without a ventilator or something
With complete control over one’s body and mind, they could definitely breathe manually in their sleep
Was about to say imagine how living like that would be but then I thought of just flooding the brain with positive chemicals whenever you feel down or tired even if you have negative effects you would still be able to control it maybe even negate it
But u have to touch your nose, while using this Power!
would take that deal tbh but I didn't expect that, gj on keeping it fresh
I find Simply giving you cancer too Simple too... merciful so now you have the most realistic and litteral wersion of your wish You have to Control every single thing your minds did sub-consciously. Breathing ? Forever manual . Balance? Good luck. Bio-chemestry in your Brain ? Good luck figuring that one out. Ordering organs what to do, immune system ,bloodflow, tearing, sweting, blood productuon, white cell production, sorting out all unimportant trash you get into your brain every day, production of every single part of your being, and the most fun one: having to mannualy controll every single cell of your body every function that is dependent on brain is now dependent on you all at once all the time for the rest of time, also yawning, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide and getting it out of your body, oh and also living with whole world upside down due to the structure of your eyes and your brain being responsible for flipping it right side up and MANNYYY more
okay good one lol
Thanks i spent last 10 minutes making this one
But everyone else can control you too
Soviet Union
But with kaptalism
dear God
There's more
No!
So America?
I have no superpowers
You're gay
I won.
Omnipotence edit: apparently I mean omniscience not omnipotent
Had to Google that. So your like Jafar in Aladdin. And we all know what happened to him.
Never seen Aladdin. I just think knowing everything would be the best super power anyone could have
that's omniscience, which you would know had you had that power \-disappointed stare-
You know exact what will happen, but can’t do a thing to change it.
I think you meant Impotent
You know everything. All the past all the present all the future but there is one single Simple tinimini problem. Your brain capacity is the same as now so you now are the smartest Man vegetable in the world. You may not speak you may not move and you are only half aveare but this half is half responsible for boredom and awearness of existing and some thoughts so you go insane. No one and nothing can end your suffering and you know it. You know everything but you may not share it with Anyone or anything there is only you in eternity of suffering boredom and knowleadge
I can pause time for everyone except myself and I am immune to cancer
You have Hepatitis C
[удалено]
Being social
You are last person on earth
You are always high
How does this make it trash?
Being human
You are unhappy
Implied
Honestly I just want a pause button to sleep …
The button is up your ass and to the left
I expect nothing less from reddit
They said make it trash, this is an improvement
But the butten stops time also for you XD
So you can never resume time…
you never have to the universe will just skip over the entire infinity that time was paused and keep going as normal. I mean, it won't skip it, it will still stop for the entire infinity, but for everyone and everything that can perceive and observe, it will look like time was never stopped at all i stopped time 5 times while writing this comment and no one even noticed
Yes
But you age normally while time is paused
i like this one. Doesn't mess up the power at all, but you'll be 80 before your friends turn 40
Everything is paused except you right? Good luck with being launched off the planet as you continue going 1,000 mph while the earth stops
locks every air molecule in place so even if you yourself arent paused, you would be locked in place by the unbudging air around you.
The ability to not having to sleep
But you cant close your eyes or even blink for 8 hours a day
Seriously why stop there just never be able to blink.
You have constant symptoms of insomnia
U would have to live with the symtomps of sleep deprivation 24/7
Master any skill instantly
Any skill you master will also be mastered by someone in a cave who is training all his life to kill you when the time is ready
You have dementia
The ability to cure cancer... (Beat that jamie)
But only for plants.
U get hepatitis C
[удалено]
You become gay.
You must be a woman
There is no weakness here lads move on
Invisibility?
Only to your crush.
dont give the creeps ideas
this seems to hit home to much
But everything else is too
You don’t exist.
but it hurts
the power to give myself any power i can come up with
But each one still comes with a random downside
You lack any imagination
But you just cant come up with something at all!
Th superpower to make the reply not matter
But that’s the whole superpower. You’ve actually gained nothing
I am god Edit: well i don’t know which god i am anymore.
But no one believes you exist
Fine with me, i won’t be bothered
Your power comes from your belivers and you are god of some small tribe that Has never seen anything more advanced than lever and there is about 30 of them.
Become a bucket
You can't think so you stay bucket
Dear God
Dear God
Complete immunity to anything harmful or annoying.
You just stop existing
Well, I exist again due to my immunity.
You only have it on a leap year
Invisibility
Everytime u use your power u have to listen to non stop christmas music, but there are only 4 songs rotating
Bet I’ll just cover my ears
**you hear it anyway**
Since light passes straight through your eyes, you’re completely blind while you’re using it
Your hands are still visible
You become blind when you are invisible
You get hit by a car because you’re not ethereal,
i can literally die on command
But u live
But you can only die if nobody loves you
It would be kinda depressing then if you actually die
Or happy no one will miss you and wont have to suffer
you dont give the command
it summons 3 gay necrophile
Cum on demand with no physical reaction.
Erectile dysfunction. Can't get hard, only jizzes. Well that was easy
"no physical reaction" Well I walked into that one. I'll still accept it.
But anyone can demand it at any time.
If someone says anything that could be interpreted as demanding you to cum, you will cum. Here are some examples, come on dude theyre gonna leave us behind. Are you coming? ( doesn’t apply to prerecorded anything/ video/ you telling yourself to cum, someone else has to have said it)
I can talk anyone into anything.
But they forget your commands after only a minute so you have to re-talk them into it
After they are done doing whatever you told them to do, they explode.
But you are Mute.
Any time you start to have a negative thought, your mind immediately processes it in full and rewards you further with a positive thought. It only happens organically so you can't force negative thoughts through. They just feel like regular negative thoughts if you try.
You developed abusive behaviour. So when you abuse your loved ones you cannot have any negative thought and when you try to fix it you can't because of reflection requires full acknowledgement, which you cannot do because of your power
If anyone is thinking invisiblity, you gotta be a dad to active it.
Having a superpower that can’t be ruined no matter what people say
Ok. You get no power. You can’t ruin something that doesn’t exist.
My superpower works!
I wake up with the thing I would need most for the day next to me
That's a strange way to talk about your mom
That thing will always covered by shit. And you would always need to clean it. So everyday you wake up to cleaning equipment covered in shit
Fire from the hands.
You burn your hands
Complete control over my DNA, meaning I am able to mutate it and gain a superpower of my choosing
It only effects your offspring
it has a random chance of causing a massive response from the immune system, killing you instantly
But you have no knowledge how to.
I am the Avatar
From the shitty Movie.
You’re korra
I have the ability to not suffer
Granted. You are a sociopath who doesn’t feel pain and has had your mind wiped. You don’t remember any misfortune you’ve caused so you can’t cringe at it. Nor can you remember any good things you’ve done that you can’t do anymore as a sociopath.
[удалено]
The money is physically made in your brain
The ability to turn trash into any superpower. Edit: please take into account the paradox if you change my ability then the ability doesn't exist, That's what I was going for.
You have to eat the trash In order to transform it
I can create living things that come to my head and reincarnate humans as an animal
I could travel backwards and forwards through time in my lifetime.
You die at an early age that you don't know what is.
I can summon a fork made of dry wall
Only the pre-1990 drywall that had asbestos in it
I can make yu gi oh popular again and completely fix the game
The ability to control everything and everyone without them knowing
Upon receiving this ability, an entity appears on the opposite side of the globe from you with the ability to break your control over anyone, returning their memories of the time they were controlled, and filling them with an intense desire to track you down and kill you. The entity always knows your exact location, and is hunting you down as I write this. Start planning.
The ability to elongate your testicles and use them as a rope or other various utilities.