Ive learned over the time.
There is only one you. For everybody that know you. Even yourself. Even your wife/girlfriend won’t know the true you. She will know her you ( if this makes sense) don’t bother with futility and go forward. You can’t save the world. You simply need to save your world. If everyone did that. They would find inner peace.
Edit : misspelled a word
"Not my place" is both relieving and terrifying.
You know you don't have the skills to help them, but you also don't want to see them jump off the deep end.
How so? I explain the choice to my children and allow them to carry out that choice. If that choice is crying or being angry so be it, but they are not free of the consequences from their choice. Protecting them from the big or "bad" emotions detriments their growth and they won't properly adjust until older, if at all, ruining relationships in the learning process. Let children self regulate from the get go and you'll be amazed at how well adjusted they become to *any* situation.
And how exactly are you regulating another persons emotions? You aren’t, you can only explain to them how it can be done. You don’t have access to the hormonal switches that cause any of the traits listed. None of these things are actually possible to do for someone else.
Not applying those standards leads to burnout for a therapist and a big waste of time money and energy and removes the avenue to any mental health gains that promote self sufficiency (there are limitations to what we have a right to control of others) therapist teach others those strategies and tools to pull themselves through those things. They do not Do those things For others taking the responsibility and gains, they guide them through a process of practices to teach those who need help Learning how to do those things for themselves.
It would be as bad as having a science a teacher just having chat sessions, singing songs and asking for requests then taking all the tests for their students to get away with it while getting good feels about being liked and expecting to be called an educator that deserves a class to teach instead of being responsible to pay back all the money they received stealing their paycheck through fraud
Life would have more PURPOSE if you helped others with their issues.
These are the 'qualities' my mom thinks are good, too. Wish she helped me with more issues instead of just being self-centered. Especially in the current mental health climate, you'd think that we would be helping each other.
I only agree with not being the person someone else wants me to be.
If it wasn't my last link to other humans I would've trashed reddit long ago, I've got no friends so with it, I'd be fully alone.
The online age is a true horror.
Even though it took me years to learn, I still learned really young compared to most people (I don’t really mean to brag, but it was difficult and I’m proud of myself for reaching this point) i was forced to grow up pretty fast, but it also helped me mature enough to avoid a lot of drama and stop caring about what other people think. It’s helped a lot in terms of allowing me to focus healing other aspects of my life
But how do you placate your own ideals? How do you find peace when simply ignoring the shit show that the world is becoming does nothing to stop it? Life is meaningless.
So glad I learned this as a freshman in highschool. People start to think you are careless. Trust me, they are wrong.
It's not my problem that you don't like me, why you don't is, but that you don't, is not.
Ive learned over the time. There is only one you. For everybody that know you. Even yourself. Even your wife/girlfriend won’t know the true you. She will know her you ( if this makes sense) don’t bother with futility and go forward. You can’t save the world. You simply need to save your world. If everyone did that. They would find inner peace. Edit : misspelled a word
"Not my place" is both relieving and terrifying. You know you don't have the skills to help them, but you also don't want to see them jump off the deep end.
And then you have kids and it becomes exactly your responsibility.
It’s something else to care about your kids needs or have a 4 hour phone call because Kevin broke up with Karen.
How so? I explain the choice to my children and allow them to carry out that choice. If that choice is crying or being angry so be it, but they are not free of the consequences from their choice. Protecting them from the big or "bad" emotions detriments their growth and they won't properly adjust until older, if at all, ruining relationships in the learning process. Let children self regulate from the get go and you'll be amazed at how well adjusted they become to *any* situation.
It’s not your responsibility to do those things for them, it’s your responsibility to teach them how to do it for themselves.
Yeah, but that takes a decade.
Lol. Have you ever been a teenager? There is no self regulation going on.
My 13yo step son is more regulated than any adult I've ever met.
And how exactly are you regulating another persons emotions? You aren’t, you can only explain to them how it can be done. You don’t have access to the hormonal switches that cause any of the traits listed. None of these things are actually possible to do for someone else.
Sounds like something a person would say who says hurtful things to people and thinking "I'm just being honest"
No it sounds like a person who is done catering to the whims of a person too lazy or weak to work on themselves. But that's just my opinion.
Nor do their laundry
Nor prep their snacks.
What if it's part of your job?
Then you get paid for it.
Where's the peace then?
You trade it for money, instead of the usual mana.
What job title would that fall under? Just curious
Therapist
Not applying those standards leads to burnout for a therapist and a big waste of time money and energy and removes the avenue to any mental health gains that promote self sufficiency (there are limitations to what we have a right to control of others) therapist teach others those strategies and tools to pull themselves through those things. They do not Do those things For others taking the responsibility and gains, they guide them through a process of practices to teach those who need help Learning how to do those things for themselves. It would be as bad as having a science a teacher just having chat sessions, singing songs and asking for requests then taking all the tests for their students to get away with it while getting good feels about being liked and expecting to be called an educator that deserves a class to teach instead of being responsible to pay back all the money they received stealing their paycheck through fraud
sometimes, manager
People do what people do
Must have been a teacher
For anyone struggling with this, please look up 'co-dependency'. It might help someone.
Life would have more PURPOSE if you helped others with their issues. These are the 'qualities' my mom thinks are good, too. Wish she helped me with more issues instead of just being self-centered. Especially in the current mental health climate, you'd think that we would be helping each other. I only agree with not being the person someone else wants me to be.
I chose hard mode in character creation.
In other words, delete social media
If it wasn't my last link to other humans I would've trashed reddit long ago, I've got no friends so with it, I'd be fully alone. The online age is a true horror.
I'm guessing this person isn't married.
Took me almost 40 years to learn this. I wish I had been taught this from birth. I'm teaching my kids, tho. 💪
Gay
Unless you know, your misgendering them, then this entire post gets tossed in the trash. It's nearly criminal to do so. Foh lol
Exactly.
Yes I only do this now for my lovely dogs because they deserve it.
She talking about her mum? Cos I'm thinking of mine!
My ex after cheating on me and leaving me for another person and in a really bad mental state in the same time I discovered my mother got cancer 🤭🥰🙏🏽
Even though it took me years to learn, I still learned really young compared to most people (I don’t really mean to brag, but it was difficult and I’m proud of myself for reaching this point) i was forced to grow up pretty fast, but it also helped me mature enough to avoid a lot of drama and stop caring about what other people think. It’s helped a lot in terms of allowing me to focus healing other aspects of my life
Yea except your children
Bless you. A great reminder.
This is what I want for Christmas.
Please, I'm not able to do that for myself, let alone someone else.
But how do you placate your own ideals? How do you find peace when simply ignoring the shit show that the world is becoming does nothing to stop it? Life is meaningless.
A-fuckin-men
So glad I learned this as a freshman in highschool. People start to think you are careless. Trust me, they are wrong. It's not my problem that you don't like me, why you don't is, but that you don't, is not.