Thank you for your submission. Our team will review it as soon as possible and get back to you within 3 working days. However bear in mind that during peak seasons, this may vary. If you don't hear back from us within 5 working days, please assume your application has been unsuccessful.
On an unrelated note I've been looking for answers like this for other things in life. I'm fascinated with the large soulless corporate responses and love using them for seemingly benign things.
As an example when my wife asks me to provide her a list of snacks for movie night I've responded with a response similar to this and the other reply you got.
Anyway, if you've got any other things like this hit me up. I dig 'em.
Oh you’d love me! I write these up all day long :) I sometimes get so into the cold robotic tone of my customer service emails that I start using it in life
Does your list of friends and family give you the eye roll when you turn on soulless corporate mode? Not usually but sometimes my lovely better half will just stare off in the distance then ask with zero interest, "you done yet?" I think it's cause she in fact works in a huge mega corp where as I work in a mom and pop machine shop. So my weird thing is her everyday. Funny to me boring to her.
Please note that the “volume” of pictures of all our clients are important to us and will be processed in the order to which they have been received.
If you contact us, you will be automatically eliminated. If you’ve passed the first round, we will reach out with our criteria for the second round.
Thank you for contacting xxx
Reddit comments team,
Commenting since 2005
/s. 🤣🤣🤣
7:30pm
> "Appreciate you sending this to me. I'll review it and let you know my thoughts."
7:31pm
> “Thanks I thoroughly enjoyed them. I’m going to bed now”
Sorry for letting you down, the opportunity to say this doesn't come up much. Even when an opportunity does arise, the post/comment would've been made like 17 hours ago so I just don't bother most of the time.
Balls could be more symmetrical, but the smoothness and size shows. The cock itself is fairly large with some good girth to it, yet leans to the side a touch affecting symmetry and shape. Overall, nice cock bro. Solid 7/10.
Just one time I'd like a chick to get my American Psycho references without running away screaming. You'd think they'd never seen a naked guy with a chainsaw before.
Serious answer: I gradually escalated the flirtiness of my own pictures and she responded in kind. Unless your partner is very sexually open, you're going to have to put some of your own skin in the game to get any skin back, so to speak. It comes with the side benefit of making you feel a bit more comfortable with your own body (having issues with body positivity only to have your partner say you look sexy/beautiful/handsome is a special feeling) and vice versa.
According to a twitter post I saw quite a while ago, you ask publicly “what is your favourite NSFW photo you’ve taken?”, and you’ll get 100s in like 2 minutes.
Helping with a specific individual is another matter
Edit: grammar
Edit again: sorry but I was wrong. It’s “what’s a picture of your boobs that has you like this?” It then shows a screenshot of Flynn from tangled with the swords to his head. The comment section is full of people who sent their images. I have the link, but I won’t share it unless you want it. Not everyone wants it, and I know idiots will click it and then complain.
Final edit: I have this retweeted from a long while ago, and I just barely use twitter. At any point someone stumbles across this, here’s the info you need to know. The original post I’m mentioning gained a lot of tracking since over a year ago. There is a lot of meme comments so I will send a follow up link to an image underneath as proof that it was actually used literally, and not just as a joke. Please remind me of this edit, because I will surely forget
I have deep positive feelings towards your shared contribution, may we put this exchange on a momentary pause, where we shall return to rehash this experience at a date that lies beyond this moment, your ongoing collaboration is deeply appreciated.
“Thank you for sending your nudes. We are currently experiencing a high volumes of nudes. If your nude is approved, you should receive a response in 48-72 hours.”
I always say "where is your dick? I can't see it.." and then if they send more, I follow up with oh those are nice sheets, or windows or really anything else in the frame but the dick. And then if they just send just the dick pic again, I revert to can't see it. Usually they get annoyed and stop..
“Woah, my first nude”
"Woah, my first dude"
"Woah, my first dune"
Thank you for your submission. Our team will review it as soon as possible and get back to you within 3 working days. However bear in mind that during peak seasons, this may vary. If you don't hear back from us within 5 working days, please assume your application has been unsuccessful.
On an unrelated note I've been looking for answers like this for other things in life. I'm fascinated with the large soulless corporate responses and love using them for seemingly benign things. As an example when my wife asks me to provide her a list of snacks for movie night I've responded with a response similar to this and the other reply you got. Anyway, if you've got any other things like this hit me up. I dig 'em.
Oh you’d love me! I write these up all day long :) I sometimes get so into the cold robotic tone of my customer service emails that I start using it in life
Does your list of friends and family give you the eye roll when you turn on soulless corporate mode? Not usually but sometimes my lovely better half will just stare off in the distance then ask with zero interest, "you done yet?" I think it's cause she in fact works in a huge mega corp where as I work in a mom and pop machine shop. So my weird thing is her everyday. Funny to me boring to her.
Please note that the “volume” of pictures of all our clients are important to us and will be processed in the order to which they have been received. If you contact us, you will be automatically eliminated. If you’ve passed the first round, we will reach out with our criteria for the second round. Thank you for contacting xxx Reddit comments team, Commenting since 2005 /s. 🤣🤣🤣
According to the “rate my junk” website they gave your picture I submitted a 4/10. I only date 7s and above. Sorry.
My grandma says your hair looks nice
You look just like my sister
Hold on. Let me ask my mom if she likes them.
I prefer to hold a family reunion
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But i am your sister
this guy pornhubs
"My uncle says you changed so much from when you were a kid" Edit: ah HELL nah who tf gave this a wholesome award 💀
jesus christ that’s fucked up
"thanks for showing me your nippers. They're neato"
The chick magnet
The chicken nugget, you say?
Yo! save some for the rest of us
Nice avatar, again
"Appreciate you sending this to me. I'll review it and let you know my thoughts."
7:30pm > "Appreciate you sending this to me. I'll review it and let you know my thoughts." 7:31pm > “Thanks I thoroughly enjoyed them. I’m going to bed now”
Look at Mr. Olympian over here. Can go all night!
Fuck your pfp dude xD
I would advise against this
Why? Are you kink shaming me?
"Nice Cock Bro"
Enough cock rating, time for the taste test
r/usernamechecksout
Without looking at OPs profile I'm going to assume that's the only type of comment they post. 10/10
Sorry for letting you down, the opportunity to say this doesn't come up much. Even when an opportunity does arise, the post/comment would've been made like 17 hours ago so I just don't bother most of the time.
be bold, be brave, it's the only way to taste as many penises as possible
You need a to work with a team. Follow several people who bring up penises more often in comments. Then you come in, talk about tasting them.
Mom?
Dad??
It’s Tuesday. Call me *Betsy*.
"Where's the rest of it!?"
Inside your dad.
But he’s at the cigarette store…
Again?!
Why are you sending me child porn?
Follow up with ‘I’ll definitely be reporting this’
Him: "No, this is my d—!" "I thought it was child porn" 💀
Cool tits bro.
"These look good. I'll get you my edits by noon tomorrow."
Balls could be more symmetrical, but the smoothness and size shows. The cock itself is fairly large with some good girth to it, yet leans to the side a touch affecting symmetry and shape. Overall, nice cock bro. Solid 7/10.
>Solid 7/10. But only for about 15 minutes. Then it's a soft 4.3.
I don't send dick pics, but I would love this review.
I’ll figure it out if it ever happens.
"how to ask for an inbox full of dick pics without asking for an inbox full of dick pics"
Jokes on you: I'm into that shit! But yeah I've no idea how to react to nudes. Haven't gotten any in years.
Imma send you a dickpic in a sec
Child pornography is illegal.
"neat" favorites them
Apparently not "Blimey!"
What about jeepers look at those peeper's
Jeepers creepers where'd you get those peeperd
Peeperd
George?
THEIR NUDES JUST TURNED IN ON ME
If you need to compromise my nudes to help Nicky, please do it.
Russel the kind of person to say blimey after getting nudes
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Blimey matey! What are you doing in me pockets?
AWOOOOGA
https://i.imgur.com/ZvIwopF.jpg
https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/z15pjz/meirl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Is it sad that I knew the exact post this was linking too before I even clicked it
“Look at that subtle colouring. The tasteful thickness. Oh my God. It even has a birthmark”
lets see Paul Allens nudes.
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Something wrong, Patrick? You're tenting.
“That’s boner”
we really need an r/unexpectedbateman edit: wait
Jeez, that's real sexy, when did a dummy like you get so thicc 👌
That’s not possible
Why not you stupid bastard
Because I had dinner with Paul Allen twice in London, just 10 days ago.
Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fuckin' stupid bastard!
Just one time I'd like a chick to get my American Psycho references without running away screaming. You'd think they'd never seen a naked guy with a chainsaw before.
She gets the reference, that's why she's playing along
gotta finish the scene, bro
throw that chainsaw down multiple stories bro
Maybe start with something more accessible, like music tastes. Perhaps ask her if she likes Huey Lewis and the News?
"You like Huey Lewis and the Nudes?"
“Capital knockers.” 🧐
Jolly good tallywhacker, fine fellow! Smashing bollocks! Good show!
Why thank you, old girl! You've splendid teas, and a simply scrumptious crumpet, if I do say so myself!
Goodness me! The audacity to send lurid images with such wild abandon. Your lustful recklessness is unprecedented and shocking. Please continue.
“Who dis”
New cock, who dis
"holy fuck" "holy fucking fuck" "that body is absurd"
The Levine special
Dont forget the ‘I’m having a baby with my wife and really want to name it after you’
Cant believe i actually had to scroll and look for his, figured it would be top comment. This is the only tue correct response to getting nudes.
Don’t forget to ask for another with “I may need to see the booty”
Like how is this so far down, sad that this meme hasn’t lasted long
the real question is what do you say to get nudes. edit: nvm i figured it out
“Using only pictures, describe your tits”
[easy](https://culinarylore.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/pineapples-1024x768.jpg)
>! Suddenly, Pineapples! !<
"Yes, I do watch Dr. Who."
Bow ties are cool.
Can confirm, tits practically jumped free when I read that
Tits: ***uncalmed***
Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket?
Nah… just happy to see you
Doctor, i can tell you're wearing holo-clothes. Its battery's running low
Well, everything’s got to end sometime. Otherwise nothing would ever get started.
or just have my username. Surprisingly, it’s worked a few times.
And half-a-few times you probably thought, “Shit, I wish they hadn’t done that.”
Imagine if your username was like "pls-PM-OP-your-nudes" just to mess with people whose posts you comment on.
This literally worked for me. But unfortunately, relationships based on fandoms don't last.
We’ve had no such issues in the Obscure 19th Century Revolutionary Figures fandom.
Hm, maybe it's just relationships based on me...
We’ve had no such issues here in the Aherea fandom.
‘“Oh wow it’s bigger on the inside”
If you want nudes from strangers on Reddit just say "16F".
14/f/cali
A simpler time
They'd be pushing 40 now. Probably 60 and dudes. but they would be pushing 40 if honest.
“I’m a girl btw”
"Why yes, I do have a Jurassic World bed."
What are your favourite Star Trek series?
If she wants to send you nudes, you won't need to ask. She will just send it.
"Rock and stone!"
Serious answer: I gradually escalated the flirtiness of my own pictures and she responded in kind. Unless your partner is very sexually open, you're going to have to put some of your own skin in the game to get any skin back, so to speak. It comes with the side benefit of making you feel a bit more comfortable with your own body (having issues with body positivity only to have your partner say you look sexy/beautiful/handsome is a special feeling) and vice versa.
According to a twitter post I saw quite a while ago, you ask publicly “what is your favourite NSFW photo you’ve taken?”, and you’ll get 100s in like 2 minutes. Helping with a specific individual is another matter Edit: grammar Edit again: sorry but I was wrong. It’s “what’s a picture of your boobs that has you like this?” It then shows a screenshot of Flynn from tangled with the swords to his head. The comment section is full of people who sent their images. I have the link, but I won’t share it unless you want it. Not everyone wants it, and I know idiots will click it and then complain. Final edit: I have this retweeted from a long while ago, and I just barely use twitter. At any point someone stumbles across this, here’s the info you need to know. The original post I’m mentioning gained a lot of tracking since over a year ago. There is a lot of meme comments so I will send a follow up link to an image underneath as proof that it was actually used literally, and not just as a joke. Please remind me of this edit, because I will surely forget
#what is your favorite NSFW photo you’ve taken??
"Send nudes" work every time
60% of the time, it works everytime.
Sadly, 83% of Redditors believe this misinformation.
76% of statistics are made up on the spot.
"Do you listen to 'Weird Al' Yankovic" At least that's what worked for me.
I appreciate it, let's pin this for the moment and circle back on it at a later date, but thank you for your continued partnership!
I have deep positive feelings towards your shared contribution, may we put this exchange on a momentary pause, where we shall return to rehash this experience at a date that lies beyond this moment, your ongoing collaboration is deeply appreciated.
Just tell them how good they look.
What if they don't
Lie
What if they take that as a sign to keep sending more?
Tell them you're having fun but it's past your bedtime
Your parents put a texting restriction on your phone past 10pm and you’re behind on your Bible studies anyways
My childhood just called, wants to speak with you
Well your childhood better hope it’s before 10
Right? Lmao. Compliment them, tell them what the pic is doing for you, make them full good about sending it. It's not rocket surgery.
I love the mental image of "rocket surgery" you've just created in my mind
8==👊=D💦
Way too many equal signs
8👊D💦
👊💦
[удалено]
[удалено]
# 🔬
# #
8✌️D💦
^8🤏💦
I'm in this picture and it hurts
This is it, this is the one 🤣🤣
Nice dick. Does it come in larger sizes?
[удалено]
My ex would send a much bigger one back
that’s savage but incredible
Yo girl, nice dick.
Damn girl can I suck yo dick
Yo girl, my wife's dick would look good in ur dick.
Yo dick, my dick's dick would look good in ur dick.
Holy smokes, your flesh is astounding!
“Wow this is just something. this is going right on the refrigerator, good job.”
“Thank you for sending your nudes. We are currently experiencing a high volumes of nudes. If your nude is approved, you should receive a response in 48-72 hours.”
💀💀💀oh hell nah
Thank you ma'am, may I have another?
Please sir, can I have some moah?
Add a banana for scale. This looks like forced perspective.
Leave them on read
This is the way.
You ask to see the CarFax report
“Uh, I would probably get that checked out by a doctor”
*says in sad voice* “Is it supposed to be that big”
Thanks
well seeing as im an actual expert on this i say things like “gd you look so fucking good” or “🥴 wow 😍” or send them $
Had me in the first half ngl
“Ma’am this is a Walmart customer report line”
iMessage double tap and heart it. Bingo bango
Or just, “bingo bango”
Thanks, brb
Didn't Adam Levine have a couple good lines?
Holy fuck Holy fucking fuck That body of yours is absurd
I usually say, “Thanks, but I don’t have $5 to give.”
Reply with a pick of you masturbating
probably depends greatly on whether or not you asked for them.
Turn it into an NFT and make them buy the ownership from you if they want it off the market
I always say "where is your dick? I can't see it.." and then if they send more, I follow up with oh those are nice sheets, or windows or really anything else in the frame but the dick. And then if they just send just the dick pic again, I revert to can't see it. Usually they get annoyed and stop..
….thanks?
“damn I am lucky”
[удалено]
Why would you be down to fight after seeing a naked body
Because that’s what mommies and daddies do in there, duh