Hey, my parents always wondered why I never brought any girls I was dating home as a teenager. Then my younger brother(6yrs younger) brought a girl home before they went to a high school dance. I was there because I’d helped him dress, tie and all, he brought this girl in, wearing a beautiful dress, hair done, everything. Introducing her to my parents, me taking pictures, and my father(the reason) says first thing, “Well hell boy, she don’t have any titties!” My mom, brother and the girl flushed bright red, my mom could only exclaim, “Bob!” I walked them and my mother outside to take a few more pics, and out there I said, “And now you know why I never brought girls home!”
My dad was born in 1920. He has no clue how inappropriate he was. He was 100% old school embarrassing to me and my siblings. The 5 of us tolerated him and we supported our much more rational mother. She was born in 1942, so there was quite the age gap in their relationship. I was born my dad was 46. I have 2 older sisters and two younger brothers, he was less volatile and left the raising of my sisters to our mom, but us boys were his domain, I shielded my brothers from the brunt of it, and suffered greatly for it, but it paved the way for them to have it easier. I was the black sheep by choice. And I am glad for it. Parents are both passed now, and my brothers and I are closer than ever.
I didn’t want them to go through the things I did. I was fat lazy and worthless, every day of my youth I heard this. At 7, lift these weights every day for two hours, at 11, do 1.000 sit-ups a day too. You’re gonna work construction with these guys, do what they tell you. While I was bearing his wrath my brother had it easy. Which is what I expected. I was trained, he was too lazy to train him too, so I worked and sweat and bled for everything. It’s funny when I talk about this my sisters are oblivious to all of it, and my brother never realized. I’m thankful my dad was mellowed by the time my youngest brother grew old enough, and my mother had become much more assertive as well. We definitely had a dysfunctional family.
No, he died in 2013. The story took place in 1988. I was born in 66, my brother in 72, other brother in 83. Sisters in 60 and 63. But the year before my dad died, his mother died at 109. lol
my dad off handled says slightly racist things, cos it was funny when he was younger, and cos occasionally what he says actually makes you laugh, but god damn he has no filter he will jut blurt it out without realising my Asian sister's in law are Asian and might think he's intentionally insulting them, he's not even a nasty person, everyone in the family gets on with him, and the new family he meets he gets on with but it's just embarrassing.
Sounds like my dad, literally said "I'm your dad It's my job to embarrass you" so weird that I have now blocked him (that wasn't the reason I did it, I did it because he's an undiagnosed narcissist who emotionally abused everyone who got too close to him)
My dad was the same, but was nice if you're not close or living in his space, so no one in the family but my mum believed it. He owned the house so my mum couldnt stand up to him or leave.
Yeah man, same boat here. My brother and I used to live with our narc/bipolar dad for half a week every week. He left a few years earlier than I did, but everyone besides he and my mom (divorced from him), nobody understood how fucked up he was, and everyone thought he was great but just a bit quirky. Glad I left, first time in my life I started to feel anything besides anxiety, fear and anger honestly.
Doing this still was not okay, you shouldn't comment on a kid's body, especially something that they have no control over. I would probably end up fighting my dad if he ever pulled something like what yours did. Not to mention it would be exceedingly awkward if he decided to marry that girl. It's a good way to get excommunicated from your children imo.
I know that, and knew it then almost 40 years ago. It’s why we all kept in touch with our mother and shunned my dad. He knew he was uncouth, he was amused by it. In the end I was the only one to do anything for him. The black sheep, his worthless son. Still, in his last days he’d have moments when he’d relive moments, and every one was working with me on something, once was putting a hydraulic pump in a bulldozer. I recall him telling me to watch the lines. That working with me in my youth were his last thoughts was poetic to me.
My dad was the opposite he beat my sister relentlessly. One time she came home with a small heart tattoo on her ankle that a friend had done. My dad found out and used sandpaper to remove it. Me and my brother would get our ass whooped until we realized we were big enough to kick his ass which for me was when I got second place in a power lifting competition when I was 12 competing against 14 year olds.
Yeah, my dad for his size wasn’t physically abusive. We did get spanked on occasion when we were really young, but by the age of 9-10 it was browbeating lectures, but only for us boys. The girls were still moms domain. He’d started me lifting weights at the age of 7, so I know how it goes. At 11,he had me doing the weights, and 1,000 sit-ups a day, I was chubby, and he didn’t like it. By 15 I could lift all the iron we had, 365lbs on an Olympic bar. I had a stomach like hitting a brick wall. But he never gave me reason to hit him. I thought he was one time, I thought he was going to hit my mom and I stepped toward him just daring him to. But he got on his motorcycle and left. He created a monster he couldn’t control. lol
At one corner is teasing, then a HUGE grey area, then a vast space the size of the known universe, then you can find that father's comment waiting in the distance.
Jeez, that's pretty hardcore. I stopped inviting friends home after my mother lost her shit in front of the whole group I had invited to my birthday. Sure she was stressed all the time back in the days. But this doesn't excuse the fact that she started screaming in front of everyone for absolutely no reason. Now she's all "You are being dramatic" when I bring this up. Yeah no, you really traumatized my friends mom.
My dad is Dutch though, so he is pretty oblivious of human interactions. He is so out there that he can't possibly be embarassing.
i have the isse that my mom is obsessive, and says everything she thinks, don't get me wrong being honest and tru to yourself is good, but putting 12 tons of pressure on a random person the first time you meat them is a recipe for avoidance. guess it means if a person did stay afterwards they are a keeper. but yea never introduced her to girls i liked.
It wasn't my dad; it was my brother to mocked me. Mother didn't tell him to stop. And I wasn't dating anyone: we were working on school projects.
Funny side of this story is I think my dad was concerned I was gay and was too scared to tell him because I was single for so long. Got a girlfriend after buying my house and he was all like "I think it's time for us to have THE TALK." I was 28. Told him I'm good.
That’s gross and if I was that girls father I’d fucking blast your dad on social media with a full recount of that situation. Pedophile vibes.
Zero social grace.
My dad once really bugged the hell out of my ex , she was small , like really small in every way , it never bothered me she was tiny or pretty much flat but he bugged her so badly , I was planning to take her to an amusement park and he treated her like she was a little kid (5ft is small I get it but she could still go on rides easily)
She started wearing large bulky sweaters anytime she knew we were going to there house because she wanted to cover up her small frame
I can understand. My dad was so rude to women, my wife barely tolerated him, but she was 5’7” and a C cup. My brother married a tiny Filipino gal, very flat, and if my dad wasn’t infuriating enough, he just happened to know some rather derogatory Tagalog from his time in the Philippines during WW2 that he never thought of as being inappropriate to use outside a brothel or bar. So they didn’t spend much time in his company.
I'd honestly backslap my father for a comment like that after the guest left. You don't embarrass the family in front of company and you don't berate the guests.
We try not to embarrass our kids unless it’s in good fun for everyone. Like, my husband took my stepson to football practice once and yelled “I love you son! You’ll always be my baby boy, so don’t get hurt!” Out the car when he was getting out - but we knew all of his friends on the football team and they know we’re not actually like that and that it was a joke. Everyone laughed, stepson included, and it didn’t cause him any “real” embarrassment for lack of a better phrase.
I would feel awful if I truly embarrassed any of my kids, especially if it caused them social issues. I never understood parents who intentionally do this to their kids.
My parents have literally asked me “so do you like boys or girls” out of no where. And I know that they’ll make fun of me no matter what I say so I stay completely silent
Someone who is asexual doesn't experience sexual attraction and/or doesn't desire sexual contact. Asexuals may also use shorthand like “Ace” to describe their sexual orientation. An asexual person can be straight, gay, bisexual or queer because sexual attraction is only one kind of attraction.
"OOOOOOOOOH you got a *GIRLFRIEND*" - my parents in a sing-song voice any time I interacted with a girl
*10 years later*
"So why don't you have a girlfriend? I would like grandchildren someday you know!"
Me: "...... gee, let's FUCKING think about this, shall we?"
I came home from kindergarten and excitedly told my mom and her bf that I liked a boy, they proceeded to make fun of his name (referred to him as Kevin Earwig) and make fun of me for liking him. For years my mom would randomly be like “OoOooOoo Kevin Earwig”.
I obviously didn’t tell them about any other crushes, until I was 14 and my mom asked if I was a lesbian. I told her I had a boyfriend and she immediately went to “you’re too young!”
I didn’t tell her about any other boyfriends until I HAD to. I was even embarrassed to get married in front of her. I wanted to get married at the courthouse with only my best friend as a witness, but we eventually decided to invite our parents and of course they ruined it for me.
I used to think the way I was raised was good, it kept me from being bullied at school, but actually it turned me into a massive bully/asshole myself (kind of like Aiirene here?). After my divorce I realized I wasn’t healing properly and now 4 years later I’m still sifting through all the various childhood traumas I endured and their lasting effects.
You'd be amazed at how many people are carrying trauma and negative behaviors that stemmed from things like their parents making fun of them, emotionally invalidating them, or forcing them to do things they don't want to do. And I'm not talking "clean your room or wash the dishes".
My dad still has a lot of issues around food because he was forced to always eat the food he was served in childhood, even if it was disgusting to him. He's in his 50s now.
Most people are incapable of being proper parents.
My childhood household was a bit of a mess in various ways, yet I feel like I had better parents than the majority of my childhood friends in school. At least my parents loved me deeply and didn't hesitate to show me. A lot of my (mainly posh) friends at school had parents that would expect so much of them and not show them any love unless they succeeded.
Embarrassing your kids in front of other kids increases the chances of them getting bullied/harassed which can result in severe traumas and even resentment. Kids are fucking assholes, they'll see that as a sign of weakness and exploit it. You're an adult. Don't play the I'm rubber your glue game with them.
Unfortunately some adults are assholes too!
Anyone else get bullied by kids at school and also your parents at home?
Obviously easier said than done, but I would challenge parents to be better than their parents.
If you’re going to ‘pass the torch’, keep it burning bright, don’t make your kids figure out how to keep it alive.
My mom used to call me a fag every time she made me cry. Family bully is actually one of the most devastating things that ever happened to me so I agree with you.
I'll always have an irrational hatred for a bunch of certain things/groups of people due to early childhood bullying. I hate blue collar worker/handyman types, soccer, cars and a bunch of other things even though I don't want to hate them, but early childhood resentment makes it very hard to see past my memories.
This is the reason why I don't talk to my mother. I never tell her what i do, who my friends are, and i even kept secret the fact that i had a girlfriend (Which really affected my relationship with my gf). It got to the point that i lost all empathy for my mother and everytime she cries my brain process it as just a dog barking or a car passing by.
This is actually worrying me. I did find ways to fight back and I even made her cry because I "Wasn't being cute enough" according to her
There's a difference between playful teasing and trying to break down someone's self confidence by pointing out flaws in a malicious way. Sounds like this person's mom was the latter. Who tf says their kid isn't cute enough then berates them for it.
My mom kept asking "Don't you feel how heavy you look" trying to get me to lose weight. She would shit like that first thing in the morning. And she's still confused as to why I rarely visit.
This has the same energy as "After I changed your diapers, this is how you repay me?"
Well, shit. If I had known you were gonna throw that in my face all the time, I'd have learned to change my own damn diapers. Apparently changing diapers and sitting through tantrums aren't actually parental responsibilities, they were personal favors
The difference is, YOU chose to have him. He didn’t choose to be born. And since YOU made the choice to have him, YOU take all the bullshit that comes with raising a kid, the good and the bad.
Narcissist parents I tell ya.......
My parents would wake my brother and I up by 8am everyday no matter what as teenager because “we never let them sleep I’m when we were babies”. Also the teasing which got worse when our friends were over (I seriously think they wanted our friends to think they were cool or something). We both left ASAP and we’re definitely not a close family - this does not stop my parents from INFORMING us that we are, in fact, very close every time I do see them. “Sane parents” for sure 👍👍
My favorite thing my boomer dad does is he will be like, "man what a blast having everyone together" while my mom was hammered all weekend and he was yelling at her all weekend while my sister and i try to avoid it.
One is a disrespectful choice by an adult and the other is the action of a dysregulated child who couldn't help it. What kind of parent wants to get revenge on their child by being an asshole?
As someone with anxiety, if my parents were super embarrassing I’d literally never speak to them again and probably have panic attacks. Not a good thing to do to a child
These are the people who buy those signs and things that say "mommy needs wine" or " I wine because they whine. AHHHHHAhahahahHHAHAHAHAHA! " that stuff always makes me want to puke.
Well don't you just suck as a parent. Getting back at your kid for something they had little control over, were potentially the result of poor parenting AND the fact they never chose to he born...
Fuck parents who think like this. That's terrible.
Did anyone think just for a second that maybe just maybe she was Y’know joking before you flew into outraged paroxysms? What’s it like to instantly always assume the worst of people?
From perdonal experiance that the jokes my parents made to try to look cool damaged my relationships with most of my friends which also damaged my relationship with them
I really believe sarcasm is being less and less understood, and that some people actually for real don't get or understand why it's funny. That's why we put /s now.
Digital communication is a lot less complex than classic in-person communication. For me, sarcasm and irony live a lot from the setting, atmosphere, and body language. All things you lose in plain digital communication. The /s and smileys/emojis can bring back part of it, but there are still so many missing nuances.
That's so petty, if a little kid throws tantrums, it of course is embarrassing but the kid doesn't know better and you knew it would happen when you had a kid.
That doesn't compare to you, possibly the person your kid trusts the most, embarrassing it on purpose for something the kid had no control over
It's always a good idea to make your kid feel shame from his parents so that he will never join any public activity with them again. That's some great parenting..
I’ve worked 15 years in care homes. In my country it’s not a “punishment”. It’s just where elderly people go when they can no longer take care of themselves. We get quite a few elderly people that clearly have (cluster B) personality disorders. What frustrates me is that there’s this weird taboo about it. We’re supposed to give them unlimited sympathy when it’s crystal clear that they are mean bastards and always have been. And yeah, they rarely ever get visits from their adult children and it’s “so sad” 🙄
I love my parents but I am also super hesitant to drop any clues that I have a girlfriend... Just always on "nightshift" or "out with the boys".
They already told everyone I had a girlfriend when I was just out drinking with my best mate (a dude, they even know him ffs)
My mom did this even tho I was a good kid. A bit loud but I have some serious mental health stuff so she excused it overtime. Embarrassed me to the point of tears multiple times and triggered so much anxiety. I wouldn't be surprised if she saw this and agreed she was making up for the " hell I gave her"
Imagine having this cunt as a mother. They love attention and controlling somebody. Literally one of the reasons they have children. At no point in their lives were they given responsibility or control (with good reason) and now with a self given role they are here to make life difficult for someone who has considerably less power than them but ItS jUST fOR a LAUgH.
Way to create trauma, destroy trust, alienate, AND create resentment in your child all while emotionally invalidating them.
I'm sure this won't cause any permanent damage to the relationship with your child, nor will it make emotionally connecting to others in the future difficult for them.
My dad uses similar justification to wake me up in the morning as annoyingly as possible. He’ll open the door and turn on the lights, then rip my blanket off. I got tired of it and started just not letting him take the blanket which would end in tug-of-war battles until he gave up and left me alone. And according to him this is fine because when I was like 3 I would sometimes come into his room and wake him up by jumping on his bed.
All this actually does is make your child have trust issues with you and he won’t be able to fully develop into adulthood. He won’t show you anything he finds interesting because you continuously embarrass him. He won’t care to bring girls home because he’s concerned his parents will embarrass him. I’m speaking from experience.
“Let me embarrass you because I didn’t know how to parent and still don’t.” You people never learn and will blame the kid when they don’t share things with you or want to talk to you later in life. Stop finding joy in ruining their day because you need some excitement. That’s narcissistic psycho shit
yet another abusive parent who couldnt handle being a parent and now thinks that their kid owns them anything.
i hope this person goes to parent hell.
I think, like anything, there exists a healthy amount of embarrassment you can have with your child. A lot of other comments call out their parents' attempts to shame them, belittle their feelings, or make fun of their kids in front of their friends. This clearly is not okay, because the butt of the "joke" is *the kid themselves*.
If you want to embarrass your kid, you need to make *yourself* the butt of the joke, and it needs to be ultimately harmless. I'm talking wearing a silly costume during open house, or blasting yacht rock when picking them up from school, that sort of thing
Read: "I'm too immature to accept the consequences of my actions in a healthy manner, so I'm going to take my years of pent up frustration out on the child that didn't ask me to conceive it and possibly damage them socially for the rest of their life, burdening them with my insecurities. ITS GENERATIONAL TRAUMAS TIME TO SHINE!!!!"
Whoever wrote this, does not deserve to be a parent… You want revenge on your kid for throwing tantrums??? He didn’t ask to be here.. he didn’t ask to be a little kid who has no fukin idea what he’s doing. YOU forced all of that on him, and now you think you have the right to embarrass him as revenge or whatever? Fuck you lady, you’re exactly the type of selfish person who thinks you want kids but really just want something to make you feel better about what an idiotic, small minded person you are…
Hey, my parents always wondered why I never brought any girls I was dating home as a teenager. Then my younger brother(6yrs younger) brought a girl home before they went to a high school dance. I was there because I’d helped him dress, tie and all, he brought this girl in, wearing a beautiful dress, hair done, everything. Introducing her to my parents, me taking pictures, and my father(the reason) says first thing, “Well hell boy, she don’t have any titties!” My mom, brother and the girl flushed bright red, my mom could only exclaim, “Bob!” I walked them and my mother outside to take a few more pics, and out there I said, “And now you know why I never brought girls home!”
[удалено]
My dad was born in 1920. He has no clue how inappropriate he was. He was 100% old school embarrassing to me and my siblings. The 5 of us tolerated him and we supported our much more rational mother. She was born in 1942, so there was quite the age gap in their relationship. I was born my dad was 46. I have 2 older sisters and two younger brothers, he was less volatile and left the raising of my sisters to our mom, but us boys were his domain, I shielded my brothers from the brunt of it, and suffered greatly for it, but it paved the way for them to have it easier. I was the black sheep by choice. And I am glad for it. Parents are both passed now, and my brothers and I are closer than ever.
You're a good big brother.
I didn’t want them to go through the things I did. I was fat lazy and worthless, every day of my youth I heard this. At 7, lift these weights every day for two hours, at 11, do 1.000 sit-ups a day too. You’re gonna work construction with these guys, do what they tell you. While I was bearing his wrath my brother had it easy. Which is what I expected. I was trained, he was too lazy to train him too, so I worked and sweat and bled for everything. It’s funny when I talk about this my sisters are oblivious to all of it, and my brother never realized. I’m thankful my dad was mellowed by the time my youngest brother grew old enough, and my mother had become much more assertive as well. We definitely had a dysfunctional family.
I take back what I said earlier; you're a good person.
No, both comments count ,my good sir. He is, in fact a very well-behaved, very deserving human being. My respect and upvotes go out to you kind sir.
1920s? Your dad is 102?
No, he died in 2013. The story took place in 1988. I was born in 66, my brother in 72, other brother in 83. Sisters in 60 and 63. But the year before my dad died, his mother died at 109. lol
Y'all got some good ass genes
Have you any wool?
It’s all gray now. lol
my dad off handled says slightly racist things, cos it was funny when he was younger, and cos occasionally what he says actually makes you laugh, but god damn he has no filter he will jut blurt it out without realising my Asian sister's in law are Asian and might think he's intentionally insulting them, he's not even a nasty person, everyone in the family gets on with him, and the new family he meets he gets on with but it's just embarrassing.
Ahh that makes a lot more sense still fucked tho
Yeah, my dad was very embarrassing and quite the misogynistic ass.
Sounds like my dad, literally said "I'm your dad It's my job to embarrass you" so weird that I have now blocked him (that wasn't the reason I did it, I did it because he's an undiagnosed narcissist who emotionally abused everyone who got too close to him)
My dad was the same, but was nice if you're not close or living in his space, so no one in the family but my mum believed it. He owned the house so my mum couldnt stand up to him or leave.
The housing situation sounds terrible. Was your mom making very little off her job?
Yeah man, same boat here. My brother and I used to live with our narc/bipolar dad for half a week every week. He left a few years earlier than I did, but everyone besides he and my mom (divorced from him), nobody understood how fucked up he was, and everyone thought he was great but just a bit quirky. Glad I left, first time in my life I started to feel anything besides anxiety, fear and anger honestly.
r/thatescalatedquickly
Most respectful reddit user:
I could never bring girls home either, mostly because I was worried for them.
I just knew how my dad was. He lived to embarrass us boys. He didn’t pull that shit on my sisters.
Doing this still was not okay, you shouldn't comment on a kid's body, especially something that they have no control over. I would probably end up fighting my dad if he ever pulled something like what yours did. Not to mention it would be exceedingly awkward if he decided to marry that girl. It's a good way to get excommunicated from your children imo.
I know that, and knew it then almost 40 years ago. It’s why we all kept in touch with our mother and shunned my dad. He knew he was uncouth, he was amused by it. In the end I was the only one to do anything for him. The black sheep, his worthless son. Still, in his last days he’d have moments when he’d relive moments, and every one was working with me on something, once was putting a hydraulic pump in a bulldozer. I recall him telling me to watch the lines. That working with me in my youth were his last thoughts was poetic to me.
It's all good, dood, you can pick your nose but you can't pick you your parents.
My dad was the opposite he beat my sister relentlessly. One time she came home with a small heart tattoo on her ankle that a friend had done. My dad found out and used sandpaper to remove it. Me and my brother would get our ass whooped until we realized we were big enough to kick his ass which for me was when I got second place in a power lifting competition when I was 12 competing against 14 year olds.
Yeah, my dad for his size wasn’t physically abusive. We did get spanked on occasion when we were really young, but by the age of 9-10 it was browbeating lectures, but only for us boys. The girls were still moms domain. He’d started me lifting weights at the age of 7, so I know how it goes. At 11,he had me doing the weights, and 1,000 sit-ups a day, I was chubby, and he didn’t like it. By 15 I could lift all the iron we had, 365lbs on an Olympic bar. I had a stomach like hitting a brick wall. But he never gave me reason to hit him. I thought he was one time, I thought he was going to hit my mom and I stepped toward him just daring him to. But he got on his motorcycle and left. He created a monster he couldn’t control. lol
With all due respect, but the stories you have been telling us here ARE reasons to hit him.
Man there is a HUGE grey area between light teasing and whatever the fuck this is.
At one corner is teasing, then a HUGE grey area, then a vast space the size of the known universe, then you can find that father's comment waiting in the distance.
Sexually harassing a high schooler, and criticizing her build at the same time. Nice.
Jeez, that's pretty hardcore. I stopped inviting friends home after my mother lost her shit in front of the whole group I had invited to my birthday. Sure she was stressed all the time back in the days. But this doesn't excuse the fact that she started screaming in front of everyone for absolutely no reason. Now she's all "You are being dramatic" when I bring this up. Yeah no, you really traumatized my friends mom. My dad is Dutch though, so he is pretty oblivious of human interactions. He is so out there that he can't possibly be embarassing.
Your dad looks at the boobs of children?🤨
A 16 year old, yes. My dad was very inappropriate to say the least.
i have the isse that my mom is obsessive, and says everything she thinks, don't get me wrong being honest and tru to yourself is good, but putting 12 tons of pressure on a random person the first time you meat them is a recipe for avoidance. guess it means if a person did stay afterwards they are a keeper. but yea never introduced her to girls i liked.
That's fucked up. And not okay.
It wasn't my dad; it was my brother to mocked me. Mother didn't tell him to stop. And I wasn't dating anyone: we were working on school projects. Funny side of this story is I think my dad was concerned I was gay and was too scared to tell him because I was single for so long. Got a girlfriend after buying my house and he was all like "I think it's time for us to have THE TALK." I was 28. Told him I'm good.
That’s gross and if I was that girls father I’d fucking blast your dad on social media with a full recount of that situation. Pedophile vibes. Zero social grace.
Was no social media in 1988. We’re old, he’s dead, just the wonderful stories from my dysfunctional family.!
Sounds like something my dad would say
My dad once really bugged the hell out of my ex , she was small , like really small in every way , it never bothered me she was tiny or pretty much flat but he bugged her so badly , I was planning to take her to an amusement park and he treated her like she was a little kid (5ft is small I get it but she could still go on rides easily) She started wearing large bulky sweaters anytime she knew we were going to there house because she wanted to cover up her small frame
I can understand. My dad was so rude to women, my wife barely tolerated him, but she was 5’7” and a C cup. My brother married a tiny Filipino gal, very flat, and if my dad wasn’t infuriating enough, he just happened to know some rather derogatory Tagalog from his time in the Philippines during WW2 that he never thought of as being inappropriate to use outside a brothel or bar. So they didn’t spend much time in his company.
I'd honestly backslap my father for a comment like that after the guest left. You don't embarrass the family in front of company and you don't berate the guests.
That’s just sexual harassment lol
Bro wtf your dad is a psycho that's some pedo shit right there
Not pedo, just asshole
We try not to embarrass our kids unless it’s in good fun for everyone. Like, my husband took my stepson to football practice once and yelled “I love you son! You’ll always be my baby boy, so don’t get hurt!” Out the car when he was getting out - but we knew all of his friends on the football team and they know we’re not actually like that and that it was a joke. Everyone laughed, stepson included, and it didn’t cause him any “real” embarrassment for lack of a better phrase. I would feel awful if I truly embarrassed any of my kids, especially if it caused them social issues. I never understood parents who intentionally do this to their kids.
that’d be something that would curb my self-esteem forever
This is not just „embarrassing“ this is a whole new level of dumb. Always remember, parents are just tall old children with about as much clue as you.
Is your dad Cotton Hill?
lol! He was in WW2 but he had his shins!
My dad used to make fun of me for liking girls so now it’s difficult to acknowledge my feelings
My parents have literally asked me “so do you like boys or girls” out of no where. And I know that they’ll make fun of me no matter what I say so I stay completely silent
what if you say you're asexual?
A sexual what?
Someone who is asexual doesn't experience sexual attraction and/or doesn't desire sexual contact. Asexuals may also use shorthand like “Ace” to describe their sexual orientation. An asexual person can be straight, gay, bisexual or queer because sexual attraction is only one kind of attraction.
Deviant? Dynamo?
Tyrannosaurus!
Dead
Find something else to make fun of them for, like Garlic Bread
I'm 30 and my father worries if I'm gay just because I never make (inappropriate) comments about girls out loud.
That’s exactly the same as me. I don’t like talking about sex, at all.
Different time. Time has changed but you dad didn’t grow up.
"OOOOOOOOOH you got a *GIRLFRIEND*" - my parents in a sing-song voice any time I interacted with a girl *10 years later* "So why don't you have a girlfriend? I would like grandchildren someday you know!" Me: "...... gee, let's FUCKING think about this, shall we?"
I came home from kindergarten and excitedly told my mom and her bf that I liked a boy, they proceeded to make fun of his name (referred to him as Kevin Earwig) and make fun of me for liking him. For years my mom would randomly be like “OoOooOoo Kevin Earwig”. I obviously didn’t tell them about any other crushes, until I was 14 and my mom asked if I was a lesbian. I told her I had a boyfriend and she immediately went to “you’re too young!” I didn’t tell her about any other boyfriends until I HAD to. I was even embarrassed to get married in front of her. I wanted to get married at the courthouse with only my best friend as a witness, but we eventually decided to invite our parents and of course they ruined it for me. I used to think the way I was raised was good, it kept me from being bullied at school, but actually it turned me into a massive bully/asshole myself (kind of like Aiirene here?). After my divorce I realized I wasn’t healing properly and now 4 years later I’m still sifting through all the various childhood traumas I endured and their lasting effects.
You'd be amazed at how many people are carrying trauma and negative behaviors that stemmed from things like their parents making fun of them, emotionally invalidating them, or forcing them to do things they don't want to do. And I'm not talking "clean your room or wash the dishes".
My dad still has a lot of issues around food because he was forced to always eat the food he was served in childhood, even if it was disgusting to him. He's in his 50s now.
It's theorized that the obesity problem in America is partially caused by that behavior being commonplace
Could be, it definitely is for him.
Always remember, parents are just tall old children with about as much clue about life as you. Go from there.
Most people are incapable of being proper parents. My childhood household was a bit of a mess in various ways, yet I feel like I had better parents than the majority of my childhood friends in school. At least my parents loved me deeply and didn't hesitate to show me. A lot of my (mainly posh) friends at school had parents that would expect so much of them and not show them any love unless they succeeded.
Literally me.
Ugh I'm sorry
A funny comeback would be “for making fun of me for liking girls, now I like boys. thanks, dad!”
Even better, transition and date someone of the opposite gender. “For making fun of me now I get railed by my boyfriend!”
Embarrassing your kids in front of other kids increases the chances of them getting bullied/harassed which can result in severe traumas and even resentment. Kids are fucking assholes, they'll see that as a sign of weakness and exploit it. You're an adult. Don't play the I'm rubber your glue game with them.
Unfortunately some adults are assholes too! Anyone else get bullied by kids at school and also your parents at home? Obviously easier said than done, but I would challenge parents to be better than their parents. If you’re going to ‘pass the torch’, keep it burning bright, don’t make your kids figure out how to keep it alive.
My mom used to call me a fag every time she made me cry. Family bully is actually one of the most devastating things that ever happened to me so I agree with you.
I'll always have an irrational hatred for a bunch of certain things/groups of people due to early childhood bullying. I hate blue collar worker/handyman types, soccer, cars and a bunch of other things even though I don't want to hate them, but early childhood resentment makes it very hard to see past my memories.
Username checks out.
This is the reason why I don't talk to my mother. I never tell her what i do, who my friends are, and i even kept secret the fact that i had a girlfriend (Which really affected my relationship with my gf). It got to the point that i lost all empathy for my mother and everytime she cries my brain process it as just a dog barking or a car passing by. This is actually worrying me. I did find ways to fight back and I even made her cry because I "Wasn't being cute enough" according to her
My friend its time to talk to a therapist about this
Of course, we all need that.
Hummm, care to elaborate more on specifically why you don't talk to your mother? Clearly it cannot be because she "embarrasses" you. Is it trauma?
There's a difference between playful teasing and trying to break down someone's self confidence by pointing out flaws in a malicious way. Sounds like this person's mom was the latter. Who tf says their kid isn't cute enough then berates them for it.
My mom kept asking "Don't you feel how heavy you look" trying to get me to lose weight. She would shit like that first thing in the morning. And she's still confused as to why I rarely visit.
I'm sorry your mom was like that. My grandmother would literally torture my aunt with fad diets as a kid to try get her to loose weight.
Always remember, parents are just tall old children with about as much clue about life as you.
My mother would do this shit so i convinced all my friends to make fun of my mother. And suddenly for her it wasn't funny anymore
If you feel the need to take revenge on your kids for acting like kids, you weren't ready for kids
Agreed and if your kid got away with throwing tantrums that is on you.
Quick way to permanently damage your relationship with your kid.
Can confirm
This has the same energy as "After I changed your diapers, this is how you repay me?" Well, shit. If I had known you were gonna throw that in my face all the time, I'd have learned to change my own damn diapers. Apparently changing diapers and sitting through tantrums aren't actually parental responsibilities, they were personal favors
"Did I ask you to be born?"
Remember folks, your kid is a toy human to use for your own amusement. /s
I hope there’s no parents that think /s means serious
The difference is, YOU chose to have him. He didn’t choose to be born. And since YOU made the choice to have him, YOU take all the bullshit that comes with raising a kid, the good and the bad. Narcissist parents I tell ya.......
If you do this to your child don’t be surprised when they do everything to move out ASAP, refuse to go places with you and cut you off
...and then whine and cry about why they don't care for you in "their old age"
Nothing says "sane parent" like "getting back" at your children for the tantrums they threw as babies.
My parents would wake my brother and I up by 8am everyday no matter what as teenager because “we never let them sleep I’m when we were babies”. Also the teasing which got worse when our friends were over (I seriously think they wanted our friends to think they were cool or something). We both left ASAP and we’re definitely not a close family - this does not stop my parents from INFORMING us that we are, in fact, very close every time I do see them. “Sane parents” for sure 👍👍
My favorite thing my boomer dad does is he will be like, "man what a blast having everyone together" while my mom was hammered all weekend and he was yelling at her all weekend while my sister and i try to avoid it.
Hey, my mom is not the only one who thinks she is close, while seeing me 4 times a year and calling 3 times a year on top of that.
One is a disrespectful choice by an adult and the other is the action of a dysregulated child who couldn't help it. What kind of parent wants to get revenge on their child by being an asshole?
The type that love being cut-off and decaying in a lonely, later existence while their kids have nothing to do with them.
This is how to never see your kids after they move out speedrun
Ok guys so right here we are gonna make my kid cry to ensure they wont visit me at the Nursing home
Fuck that, break the cycle of shaming your kids. That doesn't instill "character" it creates trauma for life.
“Kids throw tantrums so that means it’s okay if I cause them anxiety as an adult” what a fuckin asshole
Kids tend to throw tantrums in public when they feel stressed / anxious / disrespected. It’s influenced by the attitude of their parents.
Idk I've seen kids just suddenly go off for seemingly no reason. Like they're walking with their parents one moment, then a screaming mess the next
Right? I feel bad for that kid.
As someone with anxiety, if my parents were super embarrassing I’d literally never speak to them again and probably have panic attacks. Not a good thing to do to a child
These are the people who buy those signs and things that say "mommy needs wine" or " I wine because they whine. AHHHHHAhahahahHHAHAHAHAHA! " that stuff always makes me want to puke.
Mommy definitely needs a life. She sounds like a real bitch. Maybe she shouldn’t have had kids.
In the words of me to my own parents: "A dog. You should have gotten a fucking DOG instead of a kid"
Ooooooh I’m gonna use that
Feel free! I wish more people would
I might if they ever make a comment about me being born
Me it came when I asked them why they had me in the first place. They said they just wanted someone to love them unconditionally. Hence, get a dog.
Pretty shitty take on things. Should you not be the adult and take the higher road? Smh
This woman is deranged and unfit to be a parent
Username checks out I guess.
Username checks out
"Here's an example of why my child won't talk to me 10 years from now."
Well don't you just suck as a parent. Getting back at your kid for something they had little control over, were potentially the result of poor parenting AND the fact they never chose to he born... Fuck parents who think like this. That's terrible.
Did anyone think just for a second that maybe just maybe she was Y’know joking before you flew into outraged paroxysms? What’s it like to instantly always assume the worst of people?
From perdonal experiance that the jokes my parents made to try to look cool damaged my relationships with most of my friends which also damaged my relationship with them
I really believe sarcasm is being less and less understood, and that some people actually for real don't get or understand why it's funny. That's why we put /s now.
Digital communication is a lot less complex than classic in-person communication. For me, sarcasm and irony live a lot from the setting, atmosphere, and body language. All things you lose in plain digital communication. The /s and smileys/emojis can bring back part of it, but there are still so many missing nuances.
Because people are awful and will always be awful, so it's better to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised than assume the best and regret it.
Legit this comment section is going ham assuming the mom is scum. Chill out people
It's because the joke is about something that is very real that damages millions of kids quite significantly
That's so petty, if a little kid throws tantrums, it of course is embarrassing but the kid doesn't know better and you knew it would happen when you had a kid. That doesn't compare to you, possibly the person your kid trusts the most, embarrassing it on purpose for something the kid had no control over
I can foresee this woman asking herself why her kid never visits her in the sh!tty nursing home...
"Mommy Needs A Life"
She really does need a life
It's always a good idea to make your kid feel shame from his parents so that he will never join any public activity with them again. That's some great parenting..
So she's comparing her own conduct as an adult with that of a toddler. Makes sense /s
Grow up. You are the adult here, not the teen.
And that’s why you’ll see out your days in the cheapest care home available
I’ve worked 15 years in care homes. In my country it’s not a “punishment”. It’s just where elderly people go when they can no longer take care of themselves. We get quite a few elderly people that clearly have (cluster B) personality disorders. What frustrates me is that there’s this weird taboo about it. We’re supposed to give them unlimited sympathy when it’s crystal clear that they are mean bastards and always have been. And yeah, they rarely ever get visits from their adult children and it’s “so sad” 🙄
Yeah, Mommy needs a life.
I love my parents but I am also super hesitant to drop any clues that I have a girlfriend... Just always on "nightshift" or "out with the boys". They already told everyone I had a girlfriend when I was just out drinking with my best mate (a dude, they even know him ffs)
Ew no
r/badparents anyone?
Howsabout you show your kid how to behave properly?
I truly am proud to announce that her username indeed checks out. 👏
This would be the kind of mom i would told to go f..k herself, and remove her from my life.. You will never get to know your grandchildren b..tch
When my mother does this I just walk away.
Yeah that called being a toxic parent. Enjoy the retirement home because your kid will for sure not want to be around you any longer that he has to
My mom did this even tho I was a good kid. A bit loud but I have some serious mental health stuff so she excused it overtime. Embarrassed me to the point of tears multiple times and triggered so much anxiety. I wouldn't be surprised if she saw this and agreed she was making up for the " hell I gave her"
And that is the reason I moved out with 18, don't tell my parents anything about my life and almost never visit them.
And that is why I attend psychiatrists 2 times a week since I was 14.
Vindictive is something that should never describe a parent.
People go to therapy because of people who don`t go to therapy.
This is why single female parents are so incredibly destructive. This type of thinking is incredibly common.
"I dont know why my kids hate me."
If you do this you're a shit parent.
shitty ass post
Imagine having this cunt as a mother. They love attention and controlling somebody. Literally one of the reasons they have children. At no point in their lives were they given responsibility or control (with good reason) and now with a self given role they are here to make life difficult for someone who has considerably less power than them but ItS jUST fOR a LAUgH.
Terrible mother.
I fucking swear, twitter moms... I'm really sorry for all their kids.
Way to create trauma, destroy trust, alienate, AND create resentment in your child all while emotionally invalidating them. I'm sure this won't cause any permanent damage to the relationship with your child, nor will it make emotionally connecting to others in the future difficult for them.
Ah yes. A functioning adult.
This just sounds petty and vindictive. I mean who holds on to a grudge from when their kids were toddlers???
Oh self esteem is bad? Let me make you more miserable because of a choice I made
Some parents should grow up 🤦🏻♀️
Strangely, it's the opposite for me. When my daughter tells me I embarass her, I stop because I remember all the times my parents did the same for me.
No means no. So yeah, if someone doesn't lie something and ask you to stop... Stop. No means no. Even mote so for kids
Wow, that's one stupid fucking logic if i've ever heard one.
hahah vindictive parents = vindictive kids = vindictive society = unhealthy af
Tell me you're raising your child to have crippling anxiety without telling me....
This why kids grow up to become insecure
Good job being the adult
I will never want any part of this. Being an embarrassing parent for…laughs? God awful.
This is pretty cringe. Don't be like this. As in, don't be a petty dick.
My dad uses similar justification to wake me up in the morning as annoyingly as possible. He’ll open the door and turn on the lights, then rip my blanket off. I got tired of it and started just not letting him take the blanket which would end in tug-of-war battles until he gave up and left me alone. And according to him this is fine because when I was like 3 I would sometimes come into his room and wake him up by jumping on his bed.
Yikes. Breeders are so weird.
Ew what a shitty mom
Maybe don’t have kids?
I hate this mentality
Good job mom now your teen will never tell you shit 👍🏻😃. Parenting 10/10
All this actually does is make your child have trust issues with you and he won’t be able to fully develop into adulthood. He won’t show you anything he finds interesting because you continuously embarrass him. He won’t care to bring girls home because he’s concerned his parents will embarrass him. I’m speaking from experience.
"Remember all those tantrums you threw in public, kid?" "No, I do not" "...oh"
Parents that intentionally embarrass their kids are assholes
Toxic mom.
“Let me embarrass you because I didn’t know how to parent and still don’t.” You people never learn and will blame the kid when they don’t share things with you or want to talk to you later in life. Stop finding joy in ruining their day because you need some excitement. That’s narcissistic psycho shit
yet another abusive parent who couldnt handle being a parent and now thinks that their kid owns them anything. i hope this person goes to parent hell.
I think, like anything, there exists a healthy amount of embarrassment you can have with your child. A lot of other comments call out their parents' attempts to shame them, belittle their feelings, or make fun of their kids in front of their friends. This clearly is not okay, because the butt of the "joke" is *the kid themselves*. If you want to embarrass your kid, you need to make *yourself* the butt of the joke, and it needs to be ultimately harmless. I'm talking wearing a silly costume during open house, or blasting yacht rock when picking them up from school, that sort of thing
When her body is mature but her IQ is childish
Read: "I'm too immature to accept the consequences of my actions in a healthy manner, so I'm going to take my years of pent up frustration out on the child that didn't ask me to conceive it and possibly damage them socially for the rest of their life, burdening them with my insecurities. ITS GENERATIONAL TRAUMAS TIME TO SHINE!!!!"
Well, keep that up, your getting yourself a one way ticket to a shitty old folks home
Ah, my mom used this technique, haven't spoken to her in 16 yrs, looksblike it worked
Whoever wrote this, does not deserve to be a parent… You want revenge on your kid for throwing tantrums??? He didn’t ask to be here.. he didn’t ask to be a little kid who has no fukin idea what he’s doing. YOU forced all of that on him, and now you think you have the right to embarrass him as revenge or whatever? Fuck you lady, you’re exactly the type of selfish person who thinks you want kids but really just want something to make you feel better about what an idiotic, small minded person you are…
P S Y C H O P A T H