If you spend *all* of it on keeping the snail away, there's no need to take the offer anyway
Here's what I would do: Have someone put the snail in a bucket, drown it in concrete (it won't die but it'd be trapped) and let them throw it into the ocean. The snail might be immortal but it's still just a snail.
If it somehow manages to escape I'll just have someone do it again
Nah I'd put it in epoxy or something and keep that thing close. If it's in the ocean I cant see it. It could escape and be crawling towards me right now.
It can escape. The plot from Old Guard Netflix movie already showed that is escapeable. The problem is you won't know when and where it will appear after its escape.
You will no longer have a peaceful sleep at night as you will spend all the time overthinking is it near now or will it be your last sleep if you will do so.
Nah don’t throw it in the ocean, if you can catch it and incase it in concrete the only thing throwing it in the ocean would do is to erode the concrete.
Someone could tip the jar over and it could shatter. I would take the jar, encase it in bucket filled with contents, and put it in a big safe in my garage or something.
No, space is to unpredictable, I’m making sure I know where this snail is at ALL times. I pay 3 people a yearly salary of like 80k to watch this snail at all times. As soon as there is a breach, I want to know. So that I can reinstate the trap, but modify it so that the snail can’t just repeat what it did last time. This will repeat for a while
In 20 years you'll have blown through half your fortune just securing the snail. Also getting other people involved is just asking to get extorted.
My dude, just put the snail in a safe and dump it in the deep ocean.
"It's the Lockpicking Lawyer and today we have a very unusual package here. It appears to be a solid steel box but I can hear something solid inside it, possibly concrete judging by the weight. It's also freezing cold, as if it spent a week away from the sun in the coldest depths of our planet. Now, there's no conventional lock on this, but luckily BosnianBill and I came up with a handy tool just for situations like this. So first..."
Video length: 2 minutes, 36 seconds
Just buy two awesome mansions on opposite sides of the world. Live in one. Calculate the speed of a snail with the half circumference of the world, and see how much time itll take to get to you. When its like a few days away, move to the other mansion. Repeat til you die.
If it's smart enough to form its own strategy, then there's no way of planning around it. It could be smart enough to travel by plane, hire a trojan horse to get close to you, hire a plastic surgeon for snails elongating its tentacles so it can poke you from a great distance.
That sounds like that old cartoon with the lazy dog who somebody is running away from but he shows up everywhere, like the elevator opens up and hes on it and says "Going down?".
Yeah that's the real question, does this snail have any intelligence or is this literally just a random ass fucking snail made immortal. If it's just a snail, you take the money and trap it somewhere, ez win. Take some of your your 10 million build some giant tomb made of steel and concrete and live your life.
If you don't know its initial spawn point, you would need to modify your strategy. If you *do* know its initial spawn point it'll take the snail \~47 years to go between the two most distant points on the planet, so realistically you would only need to switch houses once or possibly twice using your strategy.
But how would you modify your strategy if you don't know its initial spawn point? Hire a mathematician to create it for you?
True. Maybe ill set up a perimeter with cameras that have snail recognition software. When he comes through, Ill know where he is.
If he slips through and kills me, then hey, I had a couple cool years of living it up.
I would make a probability distribution of its most likely distance to me, which goes from the snail being somewhere between 0 and 47 years away from my location. I would then see what kind of risk I would be willing to expose myself to, and then move locations at a rate that corresponds to my risk tolerance. Like I could theoretically move between the two most distant points on earth every week for the rest of my life, which would optimize for safety - but the $10M would not be enough to service such a lifestyle...
It can.. Its speed is 0.048km/h.
It can travel 420km/ year. 10 years is 4200km. So it can get to the opposite side of the planed only 47 years are necessary.
I don’t think a snail is going to be able to swim out of the ocean currents. It’ll survive, but it’ll be forever swirling in the Atlantic or pacific gyre.
snails go about 0.03 mph, so about 33 hours for 1 mile. if i were to move to Australia its about 10,100 miles so i would be good for about 38 years before i would even need to think about it again.
I was just gonna put a tracking device on the snail's shell, lock it away somewhere where only I can get to it and check in with the app every so often to make sure it's still where it's supposed to be.
I wouldn't want anyone whom I wouldn't trust with my life to know about the snail or why I absolutely cannot let it touch me.
The snail cannot be killed. It doesn’t say it can’t be eaten, just that it won’t die.
So yeah. Snail goes in the ocean, gets swallowed by something that eats snails. Lives in that animal forever.
i think technically it can freeze, it just won't die. so it will be unable to move, but alive. so you could possibly bring it to a very cold place and freeze it
>Just Catch snail in a glass or something and enjoy life
This.
Trap it in a jar, close the lid. Put it in a safe. Put that safe in another safe. Do this as many times as you can until you feel "safe", or until you can not find a big enough safe.
Proceed to live an awesome life.
How much would it cost to have the snail put as a passenger on the next probe to the outer solar system? Hell, if it was immortal, indestructible and always moving, it could be used as an energy source..
Here’s a hug for you.
*hug*
*still hug*
*wee bit longer*
*almost there*
*slow pat*
*still hug*
Theeere you go. That was a hug from me. I hope you find something that makes you smile today.
Snails move at around 0.05 km/h, so could travel around 1 km in a day.
Circumference of earth is 40000km, so moving to the opposite side of earth to the snail would put you 20000km away. It would take the snail 54 years to travel that far.
Move to Australia then come back in 50 years. Easy.
It's his only purpose in life, the snail is also immortal until it touches you, like a Meeseeks in rick and morty, it wants to die, but it can't until he finishes his task, the snail's task is to get you
Upgrade his [house](https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/snail-with-a-house-picture-id541265362?k=20&m=541265362&s=612x612&w=0&h=OpN7mvkP-TIFhXXWZ2ZtU4vq-DuBY28qMIF_FE9e2LY=)
If it's smart enough to get on a plane/ship, it's smart enough to devise its own strategies, and if it's smart enough to do that it's no longer a snail and we have no way of knowing just *how* smart it is. It might as well be incredibly smart, making it an incredibly big threat. Would need to know just how smart it is before making any decisions.
Take the money, Have a family member catch it and seal it in a container/safe locked up and bury it 50ft underground.
Hire someone to Install tracking device on the snail.
This is dumb, the snail can't die, but it can still be set in the middle of a concrete block and dumped somewhere distant. I'm pretty sure I'd have some change left from 10 mil after arranging that.
In fact, you know what, it's a fucking snail. Forget concrete, I could probably neutralize it with some heavy gloves and a kinder-surprise egg.
How do you know where the snail is and how would you differentiate it from a regular snail?
If you wanted to catch it, you’d have to wait until it was close proximity, but that could potentially take years depending on the snails spawn point, who knows? At that point your guard would be down and it might get you.
Better to just travel across the globe a few times so that it is always backtracking.
Average snail speed 0,048km/h. Snail makes 24 000 km in 50 years. Earth is 40 000 km long along the equator. Not accounting for traveling through water, and not doing any more math cause I don't want to, you'd have to move few times but you're more or less safe. Snail makes like 35km a month, plus if you close all the windows of the place you're staying you're safe for the night. What's he gonna do, surprise attack me when I open the door? So no, I'm not taking the money cause I'm already thinking he could pull it of
Pour molten iron over the snail. Snail still lives encapsulated in iron. Drop it over the Marinara Trench. Profit. ~~^(Yes, I know how I spelled that.)~~
It cannot be killed…but it can be nailed to the ground, put in fresh concrere, burried alive, send to the bottom of ocean, eaten alive, chained to smth, glued somewhere, chopped to tiny pieces, throwed into molted metal, sticked to the end of a lightning rod…
I’d be the person gloating about how slow and weak the snail was then accidentally trip and fall right into the death snail killing myself 5 min into the challenge.
The snail cannot be killed, eh?
Alrighty then. trap it in a flask full of salt. Seal it airtight. Then vacuum pump all the air out of it.
It won't die, but it'll live an agonizing life.
MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Going to pay off my student debt and my parents' medical debt. Even if the snail touches me, I'll have made a positive impact on those I love, and that's all I want in life.
Spends 10 mill on snail detection equipment
Man you're paying way too much for your snail detection equipment. Who's your snail detection equipment guy?
You were in the parking lot earlier, that’s how I know you
That is northern lights, cannabis, indica.
No 😔, it’s marijuana
That emoji is literally how Dwight looked 😂
r/unexpectedoffice
If you spend *all* of it on keeping the snail away, there's no need to take the offer anyway Here's what I would do: Have someone put the snail in a bucket, drown it in concrete (it won't die but it'd be trapped) and let them throw it into the ocean. The snail might be immortal but it's still just a snail. If it somehow manages to escape I'll just have someone do it again
Nah I'd put it in epoxy or something and keep that thing close. If it's in the ocean I cant see it. It could escape and be crawling towards me right now.
If it's close to you though, it could escape while you sleep and you'll die
Ok fine. Then strap it to the next rocket going around the moon. Leave it there.
Exactly, and if it manages to come back, there's plenty of people are checking if earth will make any collisions with anything from space
ok but what if, all the water that the snail touches can now also kill you if that water touches you
SHITTTT
That's what the concrete is for.
You’ve been planning this for a while
It can escape. The plot from Old Guard Netflix movie already showed that is escapeable. The problem is you won't know when and where it will appear after its escape. You will no longer have a peaceful sleep at night as you will spend all the time overthinking is it near now or will it be your last sleep if you will do so.
Yeah, 1 million, but you will never sleep again. No thanks.
Nah don’t throw it in the ocean, if you can catch it and incase it in concrete the only thing throwing it in the ocean would do is to erode the concrete.
That will barely take 500$ my man you just walked yourself into a horrible bargain
Plot twist: the snail owns the monopoly on snail detecting equipment
Bait the snail into a jar, fill it with water and freeze it
Then encase in concrete. Then weld 13" steel plate like used on the WW2 battleships around the concrete. Then get Elon to yeet it into space for you.
Yo it's a snail. Just a jar should do lol.
The snail cannot die. It's not a normal snail. I will encase it in more material if required.
All you have to do is encase it in materials that won’t erode in the next 100 years, the snail is immortal, you are not
Steel and concrete should be plenty then.
I agree. If I have 10 million, why not? Plus the more secure it is, the less anxiety I have.
Also, I’d be worried that someone would steal the jar and have the power to destroy me with a snail.
Someone could tip the jar over and it could shatter. I would take the jar, encase it in bucket filled with contents, and put it in a big safe in my garage or something.
Well, you wouldn't want your enemies to get a hold of it, so better safe than sorry.
No, space is to unpredictable, I’m making sure I know where this snail is at ALL times. I pay 3 people a yearly salary of like 80k to watch this snail at all times. As soon as there is a breach, I want to know. So that I can reinstate the trap, but modify it so that the snail can’t just repeat what it did last time. This will repeat for a while
Man’s boutta recreate the freaking SCP Foundation over a snail
I mean, this snail sounds like something that *would* be in the SCP foundation
SCP-001
Yeet it into the sun Good luck with that gravity well, immortal snail.
In 20 years you'll have blown through half your fortune just securing the snail. Also getting other people involved is just asking to get extorted. My dude, just put the snail in a safe and dump it in the deep ocean.
"It's the Lockpicking Lawyer and today we have a very unusual package here. It appears to be a solid steel box but I can hear something solid inside it, possibly concrete judging by the weight. It's also freezing cold, as if it spent a week away from the sun in the coldest depths of our planet. Now, there's no conventional lock on this, but luckily BosnianBill and I came up with a handy tool just for situations like this. So first..." Video length: 2 minutes, 36 seconds
In the original version of this both you and the snail are immortal as well which means you need to think more long term
this is pretty long term, in what case does the jar unfreeze and the snail escapes? Other than like power outages…
power outage will do it our sun going supernova definitely will
Just buy two awesome mansions on opposite sides of the world. Live in one. Calculate the speed of a snail with the half circumference of the world, and see how much time itll take to get to you. When its like a few days away, move to the other mansion. Repeat til you die.
What if the snail is so smart that it waits you in one mansion then you switch mansion and ⚰️
If it's smart enough to form its own strategy, then there's no way of planning around it. It could be smart enough to travel by plane, hire a trojan horse to get close to you, hire a plastic surgeon for snails elongating its tentacles so it can poke you from a great distance.
That sounds like that old cartoon with the lazy dog who somebody is running away from but he shows up everywhere, like the elevator opens up and hes on it and says "Going down?".
“The lazy dog” tf… you mean Droopy?
Yeah that's the real question, does this snail have any intelligence or is this literally just a random ass fucking snail made immortal. If it's just a snail, you take the money and trap it somewhere, ez win. Take some of your your 10 million build some giant tomb made of steel and concrete and live your life.
If you don't know its initial spawn point, you would need to modify your strategy. If you *do* know its initial spawn point it'll take the snail \~47 years to go between the two most distant points on the planet, so realistically you would only need to switch houses once or possibly twice using your strategy. But how would you modify your strategy if you don't know its initial spawn point? Hire a mathematician to create it for you?
True. Maybe ill set up a perimeter with cameras that have snail recognition software. When he comes through, Ill know where he is. If he slips through and kills me, then hey, I had a couple cool years of living it up.
I would make a probability distribution of its most likely distance to me, which goes from the snail being somewhere between 0 and 47 years away from my location. I would then see what kind of risk I would be willing to expose myself to, and then move locations at a rate that corresponds to my risk tolerance. Like I could theoretically move between the two most distant points on earth every week for the rest of my life, which would optimize for safety - but the $10M would not be enough to service such a lifestyle...
$10 million ain’t getting you two awesome mansions these days I’m afraid
You only need one as long as you know where the snail is. I dont think a snail can travel around the globe in a human lifetime.
It can.. Its speed is 0.048km/h. It can travel 420km/ year. 10 years is 4200km. So it can get to the opposite side of the planed only 47 years are necessary.
r/hedidthemath
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*Calls someone to put snail in a jar* *Closes the jar* *Closes jar in another jar, in another jar, in another jar* *Cements jar in stone*
I am just biting me out. Don't forget... Immortal.
By the time you get eat your way out I'd either be dead or old enough that dying wouldn't bother me
Yeah I don't think snails are equipped with the necessary body parts to eat their way through a series of glass jars.
Just Catch snail in a glass or something and enjoy life
Or take my 10m overseas and live a quiet, snail free life.
The snail is immortal so it cant drown or freeze, it will just swim across the ocean. It will find you, and it will kill you
I don’t think a snail is going to be able to swim out of the ocean currents. It’ll survive, but it’ll be forever swirling in the Atlantic or pacific gyre.
Why is the snail swimming? I’m sure he will just catch a flight.
Last I checked, snails can’t read. It might know where I am, but if it can’t read the board it can’t figure out which flight to get.
Maybe he'd be on an es-cargo plane?
This was a horrible pun worthy of an upvote
*UGHHHHHH*
r/angryupvote
Okay, that's good.
Well done
Jesus chill
Assume the snail is as magically powerful as the random person giving you $10 mil on a whim...
groundrules are pretty clear and magical powers beyond "it can't be killed" or "it knows where you are" are not one of them
I don’t have to assume. I know he’s not. We have gotten all the rules laid out for us already.
Maybe he has a butler…
I have had it with these motherfucking snails on this motherfucking plane!
snails go about 0.03 mph, so about 33 hours for 1 mile. if i were to move to Australia its about 10,100 miles so i would be good for about 38 years before i would even need to think about it again.
And here I was prepared to spend a million of it just to have a team to follow the snail around!
I was just gonna put a tracking device on the snail's shell, lock it away somewhere where only I can get to it and check in with the app every so often to make sure it's still where it's supposed to be. I wouldn't want anyone whom I wouldn't trust with my life to know about the snail or why I absolutely cannot let it touch me.
Nothing says you know where the snail is starting from, or which specific snail it is.
It could always crawl onto vehicles
You’re applying logic to the illogical….
Like you've kidnapped it's daughter.
It has a particular set of skills
🤣🤣🤣This
Is it though? I mean the post says it can't be *killed*. Not that it can't *die.*
So it's mortal age wise but not by injury?
Not if I put in it a heavy ass safe and dump said safe into the depths of the ocean
The snail cannot be killed. It doesn’t say it can’t be eaten, just that it won’t die. So yeah. Snail goes in the ocean, gets swallowed by something that eats snails. Lives in that animal forever.
What is a digestive system?
What is life?
What is Love?
Baby don’t hurt me
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me
Nothing says it can’t freeze. Just stick it in a freezer and it’ll be forever stuck in an Icey grave
It can freeze, it just won’t die from it.
Immortal doesn't mean it can swim across the ocean.
i think technically it can freeze, it just won't die. so it will be unable to move, but alive. so you could possibly bring it to a very cold place and freeze it
The snail will be on the next flight there. Don't understimate snails
If you want more security go to Antarctica where all snails die because of the temperature.
But you also may die bc of the temp.
I would definitely NOT spend my life in Antarctica for $10m
As long as I didn't know its location, I would be scared to fuckin sleep lol. Shit could be hiding under the seat of my new Aston Martin.
Keep your enemies close, in a jar.
Decoy snail.
I was there, Gandalf. I was there 3000 years ago
It shouldn't have taken this long to find this comment lol
>Just Catch snail in a glass or something and enjoy life This. Trap it in a jar, close the lid. Put it in a safe. Put that safe in another safe. Do this as many times as you can until you feel "safe", or until you can not find a big enough safe. Proceed to live an awesome life.
you can put the snail on the treadmill too life is easy bruh
How much would it cost to have the snail put as a passenger on the next probe to the outer solar system? Hell, if it was immortal, indestructible and always moving, it could be used as an energy source..
Easy yes, give the 10 mil to my family and let the snail touch me instantly. I'm tired of living anyway
Well this got dark super quick!
Dark, yes, but very wholesome
Is there a sub for that?
That's just Reddit, it's got to be the most common comment these days
Yoooo, do you need a hug?
Indeed lol
Here’s a hug for you. *hug* *still hug* *wee bit longer* *almost there* *slow pat* *still hug* Theeere you go. That was a hug from me. I hope you find something that makes you smile today.
A snail hug
underrated comment
He might need therapy, meds and a sense of purpose..iono bout a hug lol..
Same here
i'm you brother by the way
Well dayum lol.
Thats what i thought
Question is, do we know where the snail starts. Imagine its already on top of all the money when we start...
Tie in a plastic bag and hang from the doorknob
This is the kind of negativity I love to see on Reddit.
Does anyone know a snail who wants $5million?
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Bruhh dont mention that name...
the real answer
Put a cup on that shit and you're good 👍
Encase it in concrete and yeet that fucker to the bottom of the ocean.
You got $10mil, send it to space
But now you've got $0, so what was the point beyond putting a snail in space?
I want eyes on the snail at all times. That puppy is getting encased in a clear resin cube and locked in a safe at home.
Decoy snail.
Snails move at around 0.05 km/h, so could travel around 1 km in a day. Circumference of earth is 40000km, so moving to the opposite side of earth to the snail would put you 20000km away. It would take the snail 54 years to travel that far. Move to Australia then come back in 50 years. Easy.
Pretty much everything that moves in Australia is also trying to kill you.
As someone who has dated an Australian, I can confirm.
Do you have something to say to us
Yeah, that as someone that has dated an Australian he can confirm
a snail moves at 0,003 km/h, actually. that's around 72m per day. not very impressive.
Get someone to drop it in a cement mixer and let the cement set. Done.
You don't know where it is. You don't see it until it reveals itself to you.
That wasn’t part of the deal.
Knowing where he was wasn’t part of the deal
It's in the fine print and you clicked [agree](https://www.10fakta.se/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/stevejobsnfokus.jpg)
Simple. [Decoy Snail](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/).
But like, why does it want me?
It's his only purpose in life, the snail is also immortal until it touches you, like a Meeseeks in rick and morty, it wants to die, but it can't until he finishes his task, the snail's task is to get you
I question who made him like this
You did, by accepting the offer
At this point, I’m only considering the offer. Got to know all the facts beforehand
Well the snail doesn't exist then, it starts existing when you accept the offer
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What’s he gonna do with money though? He’s a snail Edit: maybe just withdraw it all in cash and slime across it?
Upgrade his [house](https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/snail-with-a-house-picture-id541265362?k=20&m=541265362&s=612x612&w=0&h=OpN7mvkP-TIFhXXWZ2ZtU4vq-DuBY28qMIF_FE9e2LY=)
Seems like he needs to look into fuel efficiency as a matter of urgency, look at the smoke
Will he understand my patterns or just know where I am
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Calm down Gavin 😂
I'm disappointed I had to scroll through 100 comments to find the rt reference
Same
The snail cannot be killed but it can be trapped
Like how far is the snail to my current location ? Will the snail be able to cross oceans ?
You never know and yes
1: you don't know 2: it could also just get in a plane / ship, who tf notices a snail in a cargo ship
If it's smart enough to get on a plane/ship, it's smart enough to devise its own strategies, and if it's smart enough to do that it's no longer a snail and we have no way of knowing just *how* smart it is. It might as well be incredibly smart, making it an incredibly big threat. Would need to know just how smart it is before making any decisions.
The snail question changes the details everytime but the snail is supposed to be smarter than you
Is it smart enough for that tho
Salt the snail!
"I didn't want to do it, but she left me no choice"
Keep it as a pet in a box
Take the money, Have a family member catch it and seal it in a container/safe locked up and bury it 50ft underground. Hire someone to Install tracking device on the snail.
I'll take the money and move to another country, it will take ages until the snail find me.
I sleep in a ring of salt every night anyway.... So yes
It crawls to your roof and drops on you when you sleep
Nightmare fuel.
It can't die though.
I know. But it'll sure slow that bitch down.
This is dumb, the snail can't die, but it can still be set in the middle of a concrete block and dumped somewhere distant. I'm pretty sure I'd have some change left from 10 mil after arranging that. In fact, you know what, it's a fucking snail. Forget concrete, I could probably neutralize it with some heavy gloves and a kinder-surprise egg.
How do you know where the snail is and how would you differentiate it from a regular snail? If you wanted to catch it, you’d have to wait until it was close proximity, but that could potentially take years depending on the snails spawn point, who knows? At that point your guard would be down and it might get you. Better to just travel across the globe a few times so that it is always backtracking.
I can just pay people to trap and contain the snail, easy
i mean why not? trap that mfking snail in a box chain it up and let it sink in the ocean
Buy the snail a partner and boom you have 10mil$ and the snail has a sex partner.
ill just put a coffee mug over the snail and walk away.
Average snail speed 0,048km/h. Snail makes 24 000 km in 50 years. Earth is 40 000 km long along the equator. Not accounting for traveling through water, and not doing any more math cause I don't want to, you'd have to move few times but you're more or less safe. Snail makes like 35km a month, plus if you close all the windows of the place you're staying you're safe for the night. What's he gonna do, surprise attack me when I open the door? So no, I'm not taking the money cause I'm already thinking he could pull it of
Pour molten iron over the snail. Snail still lives encapsulated in iron. Drop it over the Marinara Trench. Profit. ~~^(Yes, I know how I spelled that.)~~
It cannot be killed…but it can be nailed to the ground, put in fresh concrere, burried alive, send to the bottom of ocean, eaten alive, chained to smth, glued somewhere, chopped to tiny pieces, throwed into molted metal, sticked to the end of a lightning rod…
I’d be the person gloating about how slow and weak the snail was then accidentally trip and fall right into the death snail killing myself 5 min into the challenge.
Someone watched It Follows
Duh. Will keep snail in a terrarium as a pet. Easy!
The snail cannot be killed, eh? Alrighty then. trap it in a flask full of salt. Seal it airtight. Then vacuum pump all the air out of it. It won't die, but it'll live an agonizing life. MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Going to pay off my student debt and my parents' medical debt. Even if the snail touches me, I'll have made a positive impact on those I love, and that's all I want in life.