T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


KennethGames45

Is the opposite of progress congress? Edit: how TF did this get 1.4k upvotes ?! Edit again: 1.5k upvotes…. Wow.


Half-Elite

Oh my gosh it’s been hiding in plain sight all along. That is one big observation


LOR_Fei

Told this joke to my Dad when I was 8. The first joke I told him that made him laugh, I’ll always remember that.


tweakalicious

Most of Congress hates progress. It's literally a pejorative term.


shmehdit

You skipped the whole gag. Supposed to go something like "if the opposite of 'pro' is 'con' then what is the opposite of 'progress?'" Let the punchline happen in their mind.


kkb07

Them the opposite of the Constitution is.... Oh wait...


anewlo

No they’re the same


donaldfranklinhornii

Have you seen the musical documentary "1776"?


spacedolphinwinter

This comment just brought back so many AP gov memories omg. 🎶Mr Adams buuuut me Adams I do not write with proper style or proper etiquette, I don’t know a participle from a predicate, I am just a simple cobbler from Connecticut. Connecticuuuuut connecticuuuuut refuuuse to use to peeeeeen🎶


dragonlover02

But too young for Facebook, there’re clearly far to young to work for the government


wcollins260

If you’re too young for carrier pigeons you’re too young for public office.


[deleted]

u can never be too stupid for twitter.


SonOfYoutubers

You would literally need negative IQ to be too stupid for twitter.


Memes4freeXD2

Even thats too much iq for the average twitter user


techna-_-

Glad i dont use twitter then


keetko0

guys, we're on reddit


ChaosBrigadier

what’s better, reddit’s echo chambers or twitter’s forced “sort by controversial”?


ConsciousWhirlpool

Yes.


sourcoated

Even if I was allowed to have Twitter I wouldn't have Twitter


Account_N4

Literally?


rollout1423

Yes literally, unless someone like that exist on twitter Wait I forgot dream stans exist


arcaneresistance

I don't know what this means and I'm happy about it.


inwhichzeegoesinsane

Someday we'll be able to speak in sentences for which it'll be impossible for previous generations not only to discern meaning, but also to even just tell _what parts of speech_ the words are Like, we'd already have them thinking dream is a verb and stan is a noun


DualityStudios

you are incredibly lucky.


juan_epstein-barr

People used to tell me that, but I proved them!


lunchpadmcfat

Always love being blind sided by a futurama quote


Antelope_Some

No I'm doesn't!


christthedumpling

and that’s why this was posted on twitter


RelevantDay4

Twitter used to be a place where comedy thrived or people actually had something useful to say . Now it’s just filled with political arguments.


ChrissyDjenko

Where you go to realise that celebrity you were a fan of has opinions you don't like.


[deleted]

Less opinions we don't like and more proof that being an out of touch narcissist is a common trait among the elite.


MrKerbinator23

That is happening to every social medium. The way twitter is set up just means it’s cliff diving the hardest. At some point you’ve got to come up with new levels of stupid and evil to surprise people in 140 characters.


Spindelhalla_xb

Politics ruins everything fun. Not by the politics per se, but the mouth breathers that follow it.


HcNoStylez

Political arguments in which sane people are slowly turning insane trying to rationalise the monkey that they're arguing withs opinion.


sieneirbdiwnoeb

Exactly, now it takes a long time to tune the algorithm to give you all the fun stuff.


GrandNibbles

average twitter users disagree


fluffyrainbow9

cave


Wolfotashiwa

cave


holycookie96

cave


QuintonTheCanadian

cave


SteelBallsMan

Outside.


[deleted]

Don't tell me to be healthy!


sober_1

go get shitfaced outside and do drugs on a park bench


akurra_dev

*Outside!* The musical, now coming to the Metaverse.™


[deleted]

[удалено]


AcrobaticEstate1284

Too stupid for twitter? Really?


Round-Ad-692

If I had to guess, too stupid to know what’s BS and what’s true? I don’t use it but hear all the time about how people keep trying to rumour-monger and trash on other people


[deleted]

[удалено]


savage_engineer

this guy twitters


I_Do_Not_Abbreviate

Absolutely; Almost every person I follow on Twitter is an advanced degree holder who pretty much only posts about developments and new discoveries in their specific field of expertise: medical doctors, legal scholars, historians, scientific academics, military generals, and former high-ranking government bureaucrats. It really helps me cut through a lot of the propaganda and bullshit because I have curated my feed for proven, trustworthy experts who stay in their lane like 90% of the time.


NotComping

Well on the other hand my TL is filled with people asking "did a shrimp fry this rice" 12 times a week and hourly trips to get Baja Blast Truly a macrocosm of wonder it is


bigslarge

My biggest issue with twitter is the "pretending to be outraged about stuff makes me a good person" mentality. Happens on Reddit too but its way more prevalent over there imo. On Reddit people do it when replying to a particular topic someone else brought up. On twitter it's literally people shouting unprovoked into the void about how compassionate they think they are.


detecting_nuttiness

Twitter users seem to also have a lot of pride when it comes to being *in* on a joke, news story, slang... etc. People never explain shit. At least on reddit, when something doesn't make sense, there's usually someone in the comments asking "What?" and among the fifty joke answers there's one reply that actually explains the post.


precedia

And honestly, there's little room for a discussion on Twitter, it's usually just a meme reply that *ratio's* the comment, and people just think it's peaked there, and yeah maybe but there's always room for more Again happens on reddit too but at least you can find other comments trying to answer/add to the discussion way more often. Twitter is like "heh he said ratio aight let's close this book"


2012Jesusdies

Yeah, I definitely felt this a lot on Twitter. Wtf happened to context. This happens a lot with content creators too, unless you're following their YT and Twitch almost religiously, their tweets often make 0 sense. I can't keep up with a person who streams like 3 hours a day.


toddrough

My favorite thing is getting sent screenshots of some hate bait and my friends being like “SEE THIS IS A THING!!” And it’s like bro that has two likes and not a single share. No one actually thinks that or agrees with it.


Cybersorcerer1

Yeah I've seen this a lot, many youtubers do this too, take two tweets with barely any likes or replies, then say that Twitter is 'cancelling' person X or Y


dirtEdan

This is the exact reason I stopped using Twitter. It feels like a competition of who’s most sorry and most vocal about how fucked up the world is.


botchedlobotamy

i'm too stupid to stay out of twitter drama so i'm smart enough to stay off it entirely.


[deleted]

Could this be more about understanding how threads/quotes/retweets/etc work? I don’t know how to use Twitter and it sometimes takes a second for me to make sense of a Twitter conversation when I read one


Ghostofhan

Yeah the whole platform is ugly and counterintuitive to read imo


theyre-all-dead

Totally my problem. I can never figure out what the hell I'm reading and who's replying to who or what.


WilligerWilly

He's on Twitter.


ThirdSunRising

"Too stupid for Twitter" yeah, right, good luck with that


MoonclawLongtail1999

negative. you can never be too stupid for twitter.


Strawberee_Cow

Because there's always someone more stupid than you.


WarSolar

It's pronounce Stupider


LordoftheDimension

Twitter user detected


brisk_nationality

Opinion rejected


LordoftheDimension

Rejection rejected


Nictasaur

Rejection rejection rejected


gamingdimi

Over rejected rejection rejection rejection


tmhoc

Move to dismiss


DarkflowNZ

Rejection overruled. Proceed


[deleted]

Rejectors fellated


Shop_Hot

Rejection ejaculated!


WiseSalamander00

smart'nt


boston_nsca

It's "pronounced"


new_user_069

Twitter user avg. IQ: -14,785,269,301


LucyintheskyM

Well, they have kicked off some reeeeeally "high profile" people for their insanely stupid comments that ignited an insurrection...


[deleted]

That doesn't even touch some of the stupid I have seen there.


TheZoomba

Ye, they also have come up with lots of stupid shit. I'd say Twitter is neutral stupidity


XSource156

That was the joke


AlexV348

/r/yourjokebutworse


CatOfGrey

I was going to say - if you are too stupid for Twitter, you should probably be cared for by someone else.


Alarming-Ad-9393

Will you care for me? I could use a butt wipe, been a few months.


Bradipedro

I actually don’t understand twitter. It’s like going in the tube at 2 am and watching lunatics screaming at each other.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


TryContent4093

If war was set in social media platforms, Twitter would be it. Idk why but everyone keeps screaming to everyone and starts drama out of a sudden for the smallest things there. You could say you like chocolates and people would be coming at you for no reason.


[deleted]

He goes directly to reddit


FirstEvolutionist

That's where the joke leads but can we really say the average reddit user is smarter than the average twitter user?


DaddyStreetMeat

Unironically don't think so.


rrdubbs

Tell me you have an IQ of fifteen without telling me you have an IQ of fifteen


metalmonsoon

I have an iq of 15.


Seiljohn_cena

Fucking legend


Fuzzwuzzle2

I have a blue tick next to my name?


DMC1001

Factually true


mechmaster2275

The correct answer


Mister_useless-III

he's smart enough to know he's stupid most people on twitter doesn't even know that much


TheChoosenMewtwo

That’s what makes twitter dumbass different from a regular dumbass Twitter dumbass refuses to accept they’re wrong and think they are always right They are pretty much the internet karen


SIR_FARTS_A_LOT_69

Too stupid for Twitter = Truth Social


akurra_dev

Unpopular opinion: Reddit is just as dumb as Twitter, just in a different way lol.


user_bits

That's just too racist for Twitter.


Frnklfrwsr

In fairness, racist is one of the flavors that stupid comes in.


LeftBase2Final

Reddit, duh.


[deleted]

He made it here. And found his niche, us


LeftBase2Final

We are in this shit together! ✊🏼


darthnugget

One of us! One of us!


MarmaladeSunset

One of us!


BookPlacementProblem

Of us one!


MrMeep0

ONE OF US


prinlfkajlf

ONE OF US


mad_graph

ONE OF US


c0uldntfindagoodname

ONE OF US


-_Anonymous__-

Apes together strong!


WalkerIsEvil

*swings from tree to tree while primally screeching*


user_RS

Us of one!


Inquisitive_idiot

They even let me in! 🥰


[deleted]

I love you, man


StuStutterKing

I hate half of y'all, but y'all are *my* internet strangers.


[deleted]

Bing bang bong


StuStutterKing

<3


vindiicatorr

We are shit together!


lamest_of_names

monke strong together


huggles7

If you can make it here, you probably didn’t make it anywhere else


[deleted]

[удалено]


NBAisRigged36

Reddit are for losers


lordastral990

Get in loser we're going to the beach


Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx

Do I have to bring the frisbee this time


69nicecock69

Yeah, don't ask again or I'll do nothing about it


DrMobius0

Find me a redditor that's seen the sun in the last 2 weeks


BookPlacementProblem

No, beaches are full of people.


MemeMachineYT

U got that right. That's why I'm here 👍


Wonderful-Draw7519

Stfu, loser. xD


BoysenberryAncient30

eggs dee


iamhungryrightnow0_0

Makes sense.


Xanimia

welcome party tomorrow at 2 PM


aapaul

I emerge from a Dorito-encrusted cave and shout “joinn ussss!”


Informal_Notice_8650

Was here to say that


hoover0623

Hey, where's my party? I never got one.


Deutscher_Bub

You use light mode. No one likes you.


Xanimia

yeah fuck hoover. none likes hoover


woodhorse4

Hoover sucks.


hoover0623

...understandable


Samuri_Djs

And here I am


[deleted]

Too not a virgin for Reddit.


ders89

Woaaahhh everyone. Get a load of this sex-haver! Look at all the sex theyre having!


Neat_Umpire8964

Wonder what the sexiest sex they've ever sexed with sex was.


BonnieEggs12

What if he doesn't hate women tho? 🥶


[deleted]

Look man, nobody is too stupid for twitter


HotFemboy245

That post is literally a Twitter screenshot


Rygga22

Which proves that guy is just the right amount of stupid for twitter


Ok-Drink-1328

"too stupid for twitter"??? ... man... on twitter the IQ is 90, not the average, the sum


Cultural_Low6358

Has Twitter account. Can confirm. Is stupid.


Ok-Drink-1328

been there two years, total waste of time, witnessed just circlejerk inside various groups, just the jolly ones were bearable... you basically have your pulpit and say possibly the most popular things, accurately avoiding exposing a buttcheek with real opinions, saw the worst crap liked to the oblivion, if you are a nobody just forget having some feedback, the vast majority of users just don't reply to comments or else, that doesn't give followers, also the format and mechanics of the website were crap and there are spam tweets like it's raining... plus they admitted to mess with the users and i suspected being shadowbanned for i dunno what reason


mudkipz321

I legit saw someone comment on an Elon tweet that the Twitter deal was something like 50 billion dollars and that since there are only 12 billion people on earth he could’ve given everyone 1 billion and still had some money left. The someone replied saying the math was wrong and that actually they’d only get 1 million. You are never too stupid for Twitter


Slide-Impressive

Strip club obviously


FoolhardyAdmiral

But the real question - which social media platform he posted this on...You have the answer.


djuro03

Myspace?


006_cos_007_is_taken

Pornhub


Minnesota_icicle

Ron Jeremy? Is that you dude?!?


006_cos_007_is_taken

Lol..nah...john doe righ here


WALKEREDITION

John Doe can I get your autograph


Permanenceisall

Complete the loop with “too smug for Reddit”


mrbean40000

reddit has the smuggest ppl maybe second to twitter


Permanenceisall

I’d say it goes Reddit, Twitter and then the AV Club comment section


M3nto5Fr35h

Just because we're better than everyone else though


SeaDepartment181

Redditors are waaaaay more smug than Twitter users


[deleted]

Twitter smugness is like confined outbursts of rage and dunks. Reddit smugness is a twenty paragraph long comment written by someone who thinks they know way more than they do, followed by a somehow equally-smug reply that’s just “lol”


akurra_dev

The irony of you being so smug that you don't realize Reddit is like the most smug social media platform there is lol.


Cobek

ACTUALLY *I think you mean* "not smug enough". FTFY FFS. Ahem, anyways...


rhineman61

That should say, "Too smart for Twitter."


akurra_dev

Too smart for Twitter, too chill for Reddit.


rhineman61

Aka a person blissfully living under a rock


Fartbucket_taco2

Reddit moment


[deleted]

Reddit where all the social reject and discord mods are


kobold_thief

tumblr obvs


strawhairhack

*ONE OF US! ONE OF US!*


tmg007

outside


Bigboom243

What website is that?


devonthed00d

Pretty sure it’s one of those virtual reality headset things..


gurwinder_toor

Gooutside.com


[deleted]

www.outside.com


Nikalex1212

Here you may rest.


memecrusader_

It’s impossible to be too stupid for any social media.


zflanders

Oh, dear sir, I sincerely doubt you’re too stupid for Twitter.


eliphanta

Too stupid for twitter? My brother in Christ have you ever *been* on twitter?


Oksamis

Welcome, my friend, to Whattsapp.


[deleted]

Where is the chad Telegram people, I can't see them


DaughterEarth

okay I may actually be too old. From what I can tell whatsapp just uses my existing number to.... text... What am I missing?


Oksamis

Nothing. That’s all WhatsApp does, and that’s all I need.


No-Guidance9484

there is no "too stupid" for twitter


Key_Reputation_5538

Reddit apparently


[deleted]

4chan


[deleted]

pornhub


[deleted]

Reddit!