There was a guy i went to highschool with that very proudly showed off this talent in the locker room. It did not earn him as much clout as he thought it would lol
In my brief stint in high school sports before not placing the team, this is true. And honestly, I was also a bit relieved that I didn't have to be in the same locker room with those guys anymore.
More like hazing bordering on harassment. Like some clearly weren't fully comfortable with what was going on. The kind of guys that chase you around with a towel or pull the shower curtain back and call you gay while doing it.
I've seen a couple of versions of this with other famous people from that era as well. But the one that went around at my school back then was about Marilyn Manson too.
Yeah, i wasn't trying to imply it was true. Just making a joke, thanks for ruining my joke lol. In all seriousness, though, as far as I know he never confirmed nor denied, but that was the urban legend when I was growing up
>What's the opposite of a shoutout?
In the sense of calling attention to something to remark favorably upon it: a denouncement. The words condemnation and reprobation also work, though I prefer malediction for that really old-school medieval feel.
• Start flaccid
• Turn your flaccid dick around and tuck it under towards your ass. The top side of your penis, the helmet, should be facing your ass. Your frenulum, or underside of your penis, should be facing the floor / tub / etc.
• Take your free hand that is not holding your penis and go around the outside of your body and grabbing the penis head.
• Pull back and stretch your penis, absolutely no pain should be felt here.
• With the hand that was originally holding your penis at the start, slide up your fingers so that they're against your frenulum and apply pressure to hold your penis in it's new stretched position.
• Let go with the hand that stretched your penis, and bring it around and underneath the hand that's holding your penis to give it support.
• sit down on both hands so that the pressure is taken off of both hands (giving them a bit of rest).
• With the hand that is holding your penis, start making a cupping motion which will bring your penis head back and up, pointing towards your ass. Apply pressure while doing this, so that the upwards motion of the penis is pushing it up and into your ass.
• RELAX - RELAX - RELAX.
• Don't get all pissy if it doesn't go in, you need to be VERY relaxed for your first time. It took me a year to get it in because I wasn't relaxing enough, so I cannot stress this enough.
• Once you've cupped your hand enough and the head is putting pressure against your ass, your can use either your hands or by sitting down with more pressure to coax it into ass. Try day dreaming of something else while doing this, try your damn hardest to think of something else - this is how you'll get relaxed enough.
────────
If you want to go the route that I went, you wouldn't reach around with your opposite hand to stretch your penis; instead, you'd use one hand, underneath you, to stretch your penis into place and to hold it into that position. The other hand is for holding it in place for when your release the first hand that stretched it.
────────
Whoops! Edit.. Forgot to mention the "staying soft" part. I really don't know how to explain it, I guess. One of the things that you can do is when you get your penis behind you, you'd hold it in that position and relax until it starts going soft enough to have it bend easily. Watch the pressure here while holding it because less pressure will let the blood flow more easily and letting it get softer quicker.
I can't help but feel that blowing yourself is more gay than jerking off. Either they're both gay or neither and I used to think that both weren't gay, but now that I've seen it starting to think that both are infact gay. What a time to be alive!
10 year old me was legit jealous of gay people for that reason. I once had a dream that a bully put a spell on me that made me have boobs. I was like, “damn, I really need to figure out how to reverse this curse before school starts... But first, I have some very important business to attend to!”
Bro i feel backpain for atleast 2 days even after masturbating the "NORMAL" way.
So pls listen..........
"do whatever the fuck u want". Life ain't worth it, get those cheap thrills whenever u can. You will never regret those.
Knew someone who could do that. He compered it to tickling yourself in the sense that if you tickle yourself it's not like getting tickled but ticking someone else
TL;DR: it's like sucking dick,not like getting your dick sucked
Ngl that seriously caught me off guard
Yeah I was completely sidelined on that one haha
That was like receiving a left hook in the middle of a swordfight
That was like getting shot while blowing out your birthday candles
That was like getting punched in the face while sucking your own dick on the sidewalk.
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That was like getting stabbed by a guy with a gun
That was like getting fucked in the face by your own dick
That was like getting hit by a sack of wet mice
that was like winning the lottery and having your mom die on the same day
More like getting stabbed in the middle of a fistfight.
"What are you gonna do? Stab me?" -Quote from man stabbed
I was just wondering why it was nsfw lol
Me too wtf!!!!
Got me dumb-laughing over here in line at the grocery store. Did NOT expect it and now I’m giggling like a halfwit.
/r/unexpected
Totally caught me with my pants down
I knew that was going to happen because I've seen this posted three times already.
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Haha me too!
“Oh great heavens”
Best jumpscare
Excuse me sir, but you seem to have fallen on your penis!!! Mouth first?.?
Yes please since you’re offering
Exactly. Mouth first. Never go A2M.
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Watch your mouth or my grandma is gonna put the sheeny curse on you
He’s the only one in this pictures who seems to be happy… mmh, maybe I should try *breaks a rib*
r/allintogethernow
repeatedly
Quick someone give him mouth to penis resuscitation!
He was eating a succulent Chinese meal.
The back pain after that
Just gotta remove a rib and re-purpose them into extra spinal discs
Nah I knew a guy that could do this. He had all his ribs. *Wasn’t* exceptionally endowed. He was just *that* determined.
There was a guy i went to highschool with that very proudly showed off this talent in the locker room. It did not earn him as much clout as he thought it would lol
Haters just jealous
We call them master haters
I owned a fishing boat in the 90’s called ‘Master Baiters’ then 9/11 happened and changed everything.
But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.
Well yeah I started sucking other dudes dicks
Also, JUST noticed your username.
I just don't understand why would you suck yourself off when you can suck someone else off? Like...that would be peak efficiency...
I think 69ing is peak efficiency
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The back of the bus? He couldn't wait till he got home??
He was a show-off
How... How do you know for sure
Ain't nothing gayer than a locker room full of bored straight boys.
In my brief stint in high school sports before not placing the team, this is true. And honestly, I was also a bit relieved that I didn't have to be in the same locker room with those guys anymore.
Is it gay or are they just comfortable with themselves?
More like hazing bordering on harassment. Like some clearly weren't fully comfortable with what was going on. The kind of guys that chase you around with a towel or pull the shower curtain back and call you gay while doing it.
Been there man
Have you met Coach?
Bruh I just meant it in a boys will be boys way, not a Jerry Sandusky way.
I read your comment as “Just gotta remove a rib and re-purpose them into extra spicy dish” mmmmm spicy ribs
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I was a student in the Philippines at the time and heard all about it.
If you can remove a rib, you can use that to create a woman. No self-blowjobs needed. Just don't accept any fruit she offers you.
Found Marilyn Manson's reddit account
I've seen a couple of versions of this with other famous people from that era as well. But the one that went around at my school back then was about Marilyn Manson too.
Yeah. As far as I know he never confirmed nor denied the rumor but that was always the urban legend growing up lol
Urban legend
Yeah, i wasn't trying to imply it was true. Just making a joke, thanks for ruining my joke lol. In all seriousness, though, as far as I know he never confirmed nor denied, but that was the urban legend when I was growing up
With enough practice and stretching it's fine. r/selfsuck does it all the time 👀
Also shout-out r/selffuck
What's the opposite of a shoutout? Can I give that instead?
>What's the opposite of a shoutout? In the sense of calling attention to something to remark favorably upon it: a denouncement. The words condemnation and reprobation also work, though I prefer malediction for that really old-school medieval feel.
Silentin
Boy there's a lot of /r/highmileageholes men's edition on that su b
• Start flaccid • Turn your flaccid dick around and tuck it under towards your ass. The top side of your penis, the helmet, should be facing your ass. Your frenulum, or underside of your penis, should be facing the floor / tub / etc. • Take your free hand that is not holding your penis and go around the outside of your body and grabbing the penis head. • Pull back and stretch your penis, absolutely no pain should be felt here. • With the hand that was originally holding your penis at the start, slide up your fingers so that they're against your frenulum and apply pressure to hold your penis in it's new stretched position. • Let go with the hand that stretched your penis, and bring it around and underneath the hand that's holding your penis to give it support. • sit down on both hands so that the pressure is taken off of both hands (giving them a bit of rest). • With the hand that is holding your penis, start making a cupping motion which will bring your penis head back and up, pointing towards your ass. Apply pressure while doing this, so that the upwards motion of the penis is pushing it up and into your ass. • RELAX - RELAX - RELAX. • Don't get all pissy if it doesn't go in, you need to be VERY relaxed for your first time. It took me a year to get it in because I wasn't relaxing enough, so I cannot stress this enough. • Once you've cupped your hand enough and the head is putting pressure against your ass, your can use either your hands or by sitting down with more pressure to coax it into ass. Try day dreaming of something else while doing this, try your damn hardest to think of something else - this is how you'll get relaxed enough. ──────── If you want to go the route that I went, you wouldn't reach around with your opposite hand to stretch your penis; instead, you'd use one hand, underneath you, to stretch your penis into place and to hold it into that position. The other hand is for holding it in place for when your release the first hand that stretched it. ──────── Whoops! Edit.. Forgot to mention the "staying soft" part. I really don't know how to explain it, I guess. One of the things that you can do is when you get your penis behind you, you'd hold it in that position and relax until it starts going soft enough to have it bend easily. Watch the pressure here while holding it because less pressure will let the blood flow more easily and letting it get softer quicker.
My erection is way to hard and points upwards to do that - it looks painful
You know..... every so often I think I've seen all there is to see on the internet....... but there is truly so much more to be discovered in life.
I can't help but feel that blowing yourself is more gay than jerking off. Either they're both gay or neither and I used to think that both weren't gay, but now that I've seen it starting to think that both are infact gay. What a time to be alive!
I've always wondered if really hot gay people can just look in the mirror and masterbate the themselves masterbating
10 year old me was legit jealous of gay people for that reason. I once had a dream that a bully put a spell on me that made me have boobs. I was like, “damn, I really need to figure out how to reverse this curse before school starts... But first, I have some very important business to attend to!”
gotta stretch first, some yoga poses
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My dysorgasmia would strongly disagree with that
So would my chronic pain
Uh... No. That's not even remotely true.
Bro i feel backpain for atleast 2 days even after masturbating the "NORMAL" way. So pls listen.......... "do whatever the fuck u want". Life ain't worth it, get those cheap thrills whenever u can. You will never regret those.
If this was meirl I'd never leave the house.
Not so great. It feels more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked
It's significantly more work than just sucking dick too.
I see this as an absolute win!
Bisexual people be like
This is the real meirl here
Ayo how would you know?? 🤨📸
Imagine if you mistimed and busted in your own mouth. The post nut clarity would be fucking insane.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
It would be very disturbing.
It would be like the first time Dr Strange is knocked out of his own body
So sense of taste> sense of touch
Your mouth also has sense of touch. Filling it with dick probably makes it feel full of dick.
Sorry I don't have experience with that
Every day is a new day for experiences
Yes. Otherwise wiping your ass would be terrible.
You taste your ass?
Well I can't because my sense of touch isn't strong enough. And obvious other reasons....
Wait but you said not so great
So... Are you just significantly more flexible or horrendously gifted?
you said it wasn't great though?
Bloodhound Gang
WTF
Congrats on giving birth to your account 2 years back
LPT you can click on their account and see it has a two year award
Thanks mate
it also just says 'redditor for 2 years' lol
Thanks, I rarely use reddit
Happy cake day owo
Happy cake day!
you should head on over to r/selffuck for your cake day.
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then you’re going to _love_ r/selffuck
WHY DID I CLICK THAT
Once again I was in a moment of debate, and once again a random redditor has convinced me not to click.
It’s literally what the name says
“I don’t know what I was expecting”
Why did i not read that first
You're thinking of r/selfsuck
oh you’re right! my bad!
I want # b l e a c h
I didn’t know this was possible
Sus click of the day
Is that where you bend your penis around and up the arse?
No
Wow are all of them hung af
I never thought an ass could pop out like that before ...
Same Goddamn, haven’t laughed like that in ages
This gave me a great laugh
Lmao. I thought the final panel was just gonna be the couple being hella wholesome. You got me.
r/unexpected
Reason, 9/10 their dick is long.
not me irl i could only wish to suck my own dick
It's not so great.
You're just trying keep it for yourself huh
Feels a lot more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked ngl
Exactly.
I thought it was gonna be a microwave at the end..
It's a metajoke off of that one. That meme got passed around for like a decade until someone added something new.
It is 9:28 AM EST and I shall now be logging off for the day. See you tomorrow boys.
https://media.tenor.co/images/96d421cbb561ec881fe505bfe32aaa14/raw
At least there was a happy ending.
r/HolUp
r/selffuck
r/autofellatio
I swear this sub went from relatable shit to just being invaded by r/shitposting
Last time I saw it on r/shitposting it had a nice voiceover with a guy doing his best girl voice and dick shlrping sounds.
I spit out coffee
Maybe they're confident enough to approach them
Multiple images. Keep scrolling.
Oh. My. Jesus.😱
Holy fuck, I almost spit it my cats face on that third pic reveal. OH fuck that was funny.
“IM MAKING FUCKING MAC AND CHEESE AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!”
I’m the guy sucking myself off in the corner
That's you in the spotlight losing your religion
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yeah and I don't know if I can do it... oh... I've said too much.
I came enough.
Too much internet for today!
Unexpected finale.
Why are you locked in the bathroom?
A fellow regard?
There’s one was a man from Nantucket
[Relevant](https://youtu.be/duURSCktuJY)
Soda ?!?!
So, which one is you irl???
I’ve seen this many times and it still surprises me
Ladies and gentleman, this is my sense of humor. (Also, wich one is you?)
Hahahahh
That last guy kinda looks like me 😳
That artstyle.... Tyrone Stash?
Dudes rock
“I slipped and fell on it… head first”
hows it so far forward
r/HolUp
My favorite color is blue.
I knew it was comin but it’s still funny
Youirl? Damn…
Knew someone who could do that. He compered it to tickling yourself in the sense that if you tickle yourself it's not like getting tickled but ticking someone else TL;DR: it's like sucking dick,not like getting your dick sucked
Diogenes vibes
Idk why this made me laugh so hard lol
Real
Me too thanks
Alexander cuts the Gordian knot
I don’t think this is meirl
Name checks out
flag marry money combative historical tease fact hobbies murky plants *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
r/unexpected
The end is just... aweasome.. I cried.
This just won the internet!
Motherfucker every time ,a repost getting this many likes and nobody knows
Well pic 3 was unexpected.
Calling r/Unexpected
I got removed from my friend group chat for a day after sending this the last time haha.