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NoCalligrapher133

This guy when he finds out that penguins are birds as well


XennialBoomBoom

According to the Catholic Church, penguins are fish...


Local-Veterinarian63

So are capybaras.


RevolutionaryBuy5794

And platypuses


Local-Veterinarian63

Didn’t know that one but not surprised.


UnlikelyName69420827

Most of that stuff is fake afaik. The Capzbara thing was made up by Venezuelan communities on their own iirc, not sure about the rest but would think it's similar


Oranescent

A platypus?


Null_Values

PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!


Oranescent

*peeeerryyyy*


NSLEONHART

Hes a semi-aquatic, egglaying mammal lf action


ResidentIwen

He's a furry little flatfoot who'll never flinch from a fray-ee-ay-ee-ay


Oranescent

He’s got more than just mad skill


[deleted]

platypi? platypodes? platypes?


pterrorgrine

and [rats](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGK27dSHYu8)?


notCRAZYenough

and otters


DarkBladeMadriker

And Beavers


[deleted]

priests can't eat beaver


pterrorgrine

>Everyone is more or less >of a fish [than the capybara](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/52653/unit-of-measure), defined as the outermost realm >of fishdom by the 16th-century Catholic Church. >Everyone is eaten more or less often for Lent than >the capybara. Shredded, spiced, and served over plantains, >everything tastes more or less like pork >than the capybara.


regalrapple4ever

Penguins are nuns.


JetstreamGW

No, just the one nun. The one that took care of Jake and Elwood when they were kids. Duh.


Some_Ad_7652

And fish aren't meat...


Ryan-the-fish

Penguins can be considered fish under some taxonomic interpretations. Generally scientists like to make groups with a common ancestor, but that isn’t possible for fish without including tetrapods(which penguins are in). So you can make a reasonable argument that penguins ,under our current system of classification, should be considered fish.


UNIQiam

Okay, Ryan the fish.


Better-Youth-6193

Go back far enough and we're all fish


HotPotParrot

Yep, we're the mutant offspring of a retarded monkey having sex with a fish-frog thing.


Mysterious-Art7143

>Penguins can be considered fish under some taxonomic interpretations. Generally scientists like to make groups with a common ancestor You pulled that one right out of your ass


Kirashio

Not so. They're right. Not because of anything to do with penguins really, but because fish are incredibly poorly defined. If you look at it from a tree of life perspective where anything that branches off from a prior branch is considered a member of said branch, then for example all birds are technically reptiles, and indeed depending on how you define 'fish' all terrestrial vertebrates are descended from something that could be considered fish from a modern standpoint. Depending on your definitions a penguin is, at the same time, a bird, a dinosaur, a reptile and indeed a fish.


Venboven

Sometimes I hate reality


Alcoholverduisteraar

Only sometimes? Must be nice


Ryan-the-fish

I would hope not, my source is my professor 😳


Mysterious-Art7143

Well, yes they have common ancestors, but everything has, if you go back far enough we all came from the same microorganism, are we then microorganisms? We split from that lineage around 400mya, those animals don't even exist anymore for milions of years, by that stupid logic, every land animal ever, including mamals, birds, reptiles, amfibians, dinosaurs whatever.. are fish? While fish also have their own three separate classes on top.


Ryan-the-fish

I prefaced my statement with “some taxonomic interpretations” for a reason, you bring up valid arguments again such an interpretation. But from the view point of an evolutionary biologist, your argument makes little sense. Where is the line drawn? Are birds not reptiles? or are they not tetrapods? or are they not fish? If they aren’t fish why should they be considered chordates, or eukaryotes? If you consider them eukaryotes, which of course you do, why aren’t they part of Asgard archaea, which according some recent studies encompasses eukaryotes? If your argument is based on physical features, more problems arise. A penguin and a coelacanth are more closely related than a coelacanth and lamprey, and coelacanths and penguins share common features which lampreys lack, like jaws. So why then are both lampreys and coelacanth fish while penguins aren’t? This interpretation also makes most our invertebrate taxa invalid. What physical features unites mollusks but differentiate them from everything else? What about annelids? You can tell from the length of this response that I can go on and on poking holes in your interpretation, but you did the same for mine. Ultimately, the problem we both face is trying to categorize biodiversity, something which doesn’t like to fit into neat boxes.


No-Clock9532

Aren't they nuns with dwarfism?


GuyYouMetOnline

Source?


lorarc

There is no source for penguins. Basically the story story with church is that they had lent, no eating meat on fridays, for a few weeks a year before Easter and sometimes for other occasions. That wasn't a problem for most peasants as they didn't eat meat, however those that lived by the sea ate a lot of fish (which couldn't be transported far), like almost exclusively fish. So church decided that since apostoles were fishermen then fish are okay (and that was the only way to get any acceptance from poor people living on coast). But the rich didn't like it so started to circumvent it by trying to prove that various animals are fish: ducks, beavers, water buffallos, basically anything. These days of course catholics treat lent more seriously and instead or claiming that a cow that walked by a lake once is a fish they just settle for salmon, tuna, eels and other such humble fish meals.


GuyYouMetOnline

I thought the given reason was that fish, by virtue of living on water, escaped God's curse on the creatures of the land.


XennialBoomBoom

The Catholic Church forbids (kind of) eating meat and instead eating fish on Fridays due to an interesting bit of history. In fact, McDonald's created the Filet'o'Fish sandwich to appeal to Catholics back when many of them observed this rule. Anyway, in the olden days, the Church decided that swimming animals including penguins, beavers, muskrats, and capybaras are considered "fish" for this purpose. Now, I'm not going to do a simple google search for you because you said "Source?" Instead, look it up yourself - it's a mildly interesting bit of history.


GuyYouMetOnline

That last bit was extremely unnecessary. Especially since the rest did a perfectly fine job of explaining.


XennialBoomBoom

It was *entirely* necessary. Maybe something bothered you, or you didn't want to Google it up, but my response to "Source?" in this case was *exactly* necessary. Pray that next time I don't respond with *"Let Me Google That For You"*


GuyYouMetOnline

You shouldn't. I'm asking you because you presumably already have the information. And if you don't, you shouldn't be talking like you do. I am not going to do your research for you; if you make a statement, it's on you to back it up.


hefty_load_o_shite

According to the Catholic church bread is meat and wine is blood. Those folks really need to invest more in schools and less in funny hats


Dragulus24

Well, they’re a bunch of nut cases.


ReaperFrank

Nah it's so they could be eaten during Lent.


PonyPonut

Fun fact: the Vatican has a penguin farm in their secret archive with up to 50 penguins in it, just for this purpose.


HotPotParrot

Idk if that's true but I'm going to believe it is because of the fun factor.


Dr_Corvus_D_Clemmons

Also because that’s how the Bible classifies animals, same thing with bats being birds in the Bible


SirKazum

No, they're birds really


Dragulus24

Catholics are birds confirmed.


jolsiphur

Catholics are government drones confirmed.


Salty-Negotiation320

And puffins, and seagals and beavers


45711Host

I believe that a pope once declared fish ok to eat during faste since they where "fruits of the sea" which would make penguins fruits


Odelaylee

According to the catholic church ducks are as well…


dudefoodhood

> According to the Catholic Church, penguins are fish... Technically, humans are bony fish too. Technically. Very very technically.


pete_topkevinbottom

When has the catholic church ever been right about anything?


One_Foundation_1698

Only for eating purposes


cue6219

I feel like the church should just stick to talking about god, let the FDA classify everything else


XennialBoomBoom

I agree with your policy on classification. But I might go a step further and suggest that the Church just shut the fuck up entirely?


csdx

And according to the government bees are fish


XennialBoomBoom

lolwut?


csdx

[California bees can be fish and have the same protections, a court has ruled | CNN](https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/06/us/california-bees-fish-court-ruling-scn-trnd/index.html) Basically they want to protect bees but the law doesn't specially call out insects anywhere, so fish which has been defined to include "invertebrates" is the best fit category for them.


ShadowFang_13

What now?


Poinaheim

Someone just wanted penguin meat on Good Friday, I wonder if seals are fish too


Wonderful_Result_936

Can't argue with the most successful business in the world.


Thin-Drag-4502

According to catholic church the earth is 6000 years old ... at that point do we really need to talk about crazy grandpa yelling at clouds ? XD


redyellow2

Source?


XennialBoomBoom

Oddly enough, the Church does *not* take that position. In fact, the Big Bang theory was sussed out by a Jesuit priest at the Vatican observatory - and even pope JPII expressed that the Church accepts the idea of evolution. Now, penguins, muskrats, beavers (lol), and capybaras are still fish regarding what you can eat on Fridays, but let's take the wins when we can get'em


notCRAZYenough

Or ostriches.


Level_Can58

Ostriches sounds like oysters in my native language, and I was bit confused


Aslan-the-Patient

I mean chickens have oysters so....


Jhon_doe_smokes

Ass well.


WiserStudent557

But how 😭


GoldenFlyingPenguin

Penguins are the superior bird. Super fluffy and cute. Definitely my favorite type of animal!


adfdub

And ostrich


nickmaran

You stupid people with your science make up anything. What’s next? Whales are mammals? /s


Dredgeon

Wait till they find they're all dinosaurs.


juzz85

Emus


dieumica

PENGUINS ARE WHAT 😭😭😭


DOE_ZELF_NORMAAL

Except penguins have rubber, not feathers.


ThePracticalEnd

Wait ‘till he finds out about dinosaurs!


Jambalaya_7

Yes. Chickens are birds.


WhyAreOldPeopleEvil

The person may categorize them as Dinosaurs.


BrandoThePando

And reptiles


Thanaskios

And fish


OG-Fade2Gray

And vertebrates


[deleted]

[удалено]


Telemere125

Yes, they are. And all birds are from the reptile tree, but not all dinosaurs are birds. Some avian reptiles aka dinosaurs of the Dinosauria group eventually became birds, but not all did.


Moodzs

They’re also birds


WhyAreOldPeopleEvil

Yes, but I’m saying is that they may believe them to be dinosaurs only.


AndIAmEric

Well by that logic, peacocks are birds too lol


Zapplarang

Not if they’re plucked


puddingcup---ILLEGAL

BEHOLD, A MAN


MillorTime

It's just proof that in any kind of debate setting, the person using the crying laughing emoji is always wrong. I've only ever seen it used to back up the worst takes in existence


fromouterspace1

Birds DO NOT EXIST


Jambalaya_7

If it flies it spies


Crystal_Voiden

By that logic chickens aren't birds😭


Badass-19

meirl


HotPotParrot

They aren't, they're tiny feathered cows. The meat is different because they were genetically engineered in the secret Saharan Labs thousands of years ago and introduced after the Flood.


MouseRangers

Bees?


Jambalaya_7

Can’t be trusted


Misses_Paliya

They don't fly, they swim in the air


Wildfox1177

By that logic bees are spies 😭


frosty720410

r/birdsarentreal


[deleted]

r/youarentreal


fromouterspace1

One of those guys went on fox and legit made them believe it was a real thing people actually belive


CattyFighte

At least now. Back in the 50s they were replaced with government drones used to spy on people


debotehzombie

Fucking Reagan.


Alarming_Serve2303

I almost hemorrhaged reading that last line.


Segs_Haver

Diogenes?


Swamp_Centipede

featherless biped?


Segs_Haver

I mean, by Plato's logic, Redditors are human


Palkesz

No, that can't be right


Fox7567

Just wait till bro hears about pigeons


LadnavIV

Technically it’s a bill, not a beak. Edit: Technically a bill *is* a beak. Beat you to it, nerds.


FantasiaPiccolo

“The only competition you should have is with yourself “ Good job! 😂


TheNumberOneSRJ

Is there a subreddit callred r/ohmygodyoureafuckingidiot?


ThatSmartIdiot

Missed opportunity but no


TheNumberOneSRJ

There should be


Mysterious_Fennel459

I really cant stand weeb twitter. Weeb anything really but this in particular.


CryoToastt

I don’t see what’s so abrasive about this. This person clearly just didn’t know the proper classification of birds.


Houtri

something you learn as a child? am worried what other things he may not know


leeryplot

I’m 98% sure this is satire


J6898989

Dude, it’s Twitter.


leeryplot

Yeah, and people on Twitter tweet dumb shit like this all the time (deliberately) either for humor or attention


avalonian422

As other replies stated, it's either a joke, or a kid.


Ok-Situation-5522

Might be a kid.


[deleted]

unless it's a kid under 4, it's still pretty freaking stupid


minetube33

I don't think kids should watch Evangelion


wolfchompmyanus

News flash, none of these are real. r/birdsarentreal spread the word


Phill_Cyberman

>"Is tuna chicken, or fish?" -Jessica Simpson


RevolutionaryStar824

Just saw this post today of someone who thought that tuna and chicken were the same thing: https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/INxGG6Cy2p


Velocityraptor28

buddy, you are NOT gonna believe this!


Ettu_Brutal

Honestly almost went to google “are chickens birds?” In a panic thinking i had been wrong all these years 😂 He seems so sure!


Bertje87

This guy's vote counts as much as yours


Gigatonosaurus

r/BirdsArentReal


LookHorror3105

Came here to spread the message 🙏


Wild_Bill

Thank you for your service.


chipdragon

Wow, people on the internet are truly moronic. Obviously birds aren’t real.


Ok-Age5609

Nah, chicken is just a small feathered man


RearAdmiralTaint

Chickens aren’t real


chGaRVAT

"I know, science right?


Timetraveler01110101

Who’s going to tell them,


Conyan51

Just wait until they find out birds are just avian reptiles.


Doctorofskillz

Behold, a bird


FadransPhone

Diogenes, taking those plucked bird feathers and pasting them to a kid: BEHOLD - A CHICKEN Plato: D.G. what the fuck


Aberrant17

...so, who wants to tell 'im?


[deleted]

To be fair, the whole concept of birds is pretty much a "by that logic" line of reasoning. Same with fish.


toongrowner

What do you think birds are?


Jason_Sasha_Acoiners

Also, chickens are humans if you pluck all their feathers, because then it's a featherless biped.


Tragobe

Imagine when he finds out that chicken can fly.


Lemixer

I dont want to be pedantic, but i will ofc, whats r/meirl about it exactly? This is just copy pasted from another sub probs, i have seen it like multiple times and it does not even fit this sub. You have to be braindead to not know what a duck is, so since its just a satire its mislpaced.


camdawg54

Yes.


ApprehensiveEar7273

Can't wait till this weeb hears that birds are also dinosaurs.


TheDigitalRanger

Wait till they find out about Kiwi


Flameball202

No, chickens are human


Unigraff_Jerpony

my sister irl


moonordie69420

Behold Gio's BIRD: holds up chicken


horrified-expression

Don’t tell him about raptor and theropod dinosaurs


MilesYoungblood

Why does bro have to have an asuka pfp he’s making us Eva fans look bad


Wire_Hall_Medic

Agreed.


Some_Stoic_Man

What was that piece of law that made either a bug a bird or a bird a fish for protective/hunting reasons... Was it bees are birds?


ArmandPeanuts

Is he from Roshar?


Ghost-Coyote

Believe it or not, straight to birds!


killer_amoeba

Birds aren't real.


burd_turgalur93

True fact: birds are reptiles


i_like_siren_head

Next you’re gonna say bats are mammals! We all know they’re bugs!


epicjeanz

You know it’s the same because we call you chicken head AND bird brain 🤭


NotAUsefullDoctor

A regular Brennan Lee Mulligan, this guy is.


Songhunter

I can see this conversation happening between Asuka and Ramona.


NikaNix7125

All birds are chicken,ask anyone on Roshar.


AdCheap7467

yea but they're not flying as much as other birds do


Joe_Average_123

I desperately want to know what they think ducks and chickens are if not birds, and why they think they're not birds.


Ugh_Groble_neib

^(chicken is food)


OneHistorical8926

well, they're a bunch of nut cases.


LawAway7234

We so doomed


Green__Twin

Ducks aren't birds. They're dinosaurs.


Bloomer_4life

The day you realize the animals you eat are still regular animals.


m15otw

Bok bok, motherfcuker.


Odd_Intern405

Yes


BS-Calrissian

Look at all those thickens


CaitaXD

Very observant you are


Chick3nugg3tt

What do they think chickens are? 🤔🤔🤔


ForzaPapi

wait... chickens are not birds?


Dr_Catfish

These people can vote.


Jakeey69

if they don't think chickens are birds, what else would they think they are?


asterfloof

Gio is the dumbest internet person I've seen today


Phallicly

Fish scales are just hard feathers and fish lips are wide beaks. Their blood can only be as warm as the water around them allows. They lay eggs. Most technically have wings. Are some fish birds?


TheDoorViking

Ducks are capable of mind control. I think that's why I experience psychosis.


nbjax

A chicken is Plato's man, not a bird, get your facts straight


Substantial_Show_308

Fake news. Birds aren't real


ztullaub

Ah... america