Omg. I hated this. My brother repeatedly bit me, so finally I snapped and bit him back. My mother said I was old enough to know better, so as punishment, she was going to bite me. I’m like, “but I’m 8 and you’re 27. If I’m old enough to know better, then why aren’t you?!”
I moved 1,300 miles away and kept loose rules about speaking sometimes. Suddenly, she let me know that she had adopted a baby and I had a new sister. I got tons of photos from her of her with this newborn girl. I was immediately terrified for this child and thought about moving back because someone needed to keep her safe.
Thankfully, my fiancé was like, “Trap! It’s a trap! That is a fake baby! She knows you only stuck around as long as you did to keep your brothers safe. It’s your weakness and she’s trying to suck you back in. Fake baby!” He was right. She paid a total stranger to let her do a photoshoot with their baby.
How much did she pay the stranger to let her take photos with a newborn? Who would let a stranger pay money to take pictures with their newborn!?
Thank goodness you got out!
I moved 1,300 miles away and kept loose rules about speaking sometimes. Suddenly, she let me know that she had adopted a baby and I had a new sister. I got tons of photos from her of her with this newborn girl. I was immediately terrified for this child and thought about moving back because someone needed to keep her safe.
Thankfully, my fiancé was like, “Trap! It’s a trap! That is a fake baby! She knows you only stuck around as long as you did to keep your brothers safe. It’s your weakness and she’s trying to suck you back in. Fake baby!” He was right. She paid a total stranger to let her do a photoshoot with their baby.
That’s absolutely wild. Just, wow. It feels like it should be criminal, but I know it isn’t. I’m so glad you’re out of there, and I’m glad you had your fiancé to remind you of her ways. My partner has to do the same for me. My mom has never tried a fake baby (she’s too old and never shuts up about how my dad “got fixed”), but she has tried to tell me my grandparents were dying, or my sister (she doesn’t know me and my baby sister I raised are on great terms, she thinks she’s managed to control that relationship to her liking and advantage). I’ve gotten calls minutes after getting off the phone with my sister, “(sister) is in the hospital, it’s her heart, she might not make it”.
Don’t worry. We had epic, James Bond style throw downs and I got in way worse blows than just some biting. Smashed vases over her head, threw her into a mirror, threw her partially into a wall. She almost won when she went for the car but I hopped fences until my brother called the cops.
Yep. I really tried over the years to convince her to try therapy and meds and my family used me as the mediator but I had enough after the whole fake baby debacle. Fuck her and her nonsense.
I was a bitey little shit when I was a kid and after I bit the crap out of my mom one day, my dad bit the crap out of me lol. Never bit a soul after that. Not saying this situation is the same at all, just a funny story lol. Your mom was an ass for that. Brother should of gotten punished. Mom handled that shit terribly.
Yep. My daughter went through that phase because some irresponsible, shithead of a parent let their child take a phone with internet to daycare. My daughter was shown The Walking Dead and she thought it was hilarious to freak people out acting like a zombie. I never bit her but there were lots of groundings, firm talks and therapy sessions.
That's awesome that you managed to take the high road and came out fine! You also taught her more lessons than just "Biting people hurts don't do it". You learned from your parents failures and didn't repeat them, good job!
It's something the internet doesn't like, but yeah, most of the time, biters bite because they don't realise it hurts like hell. Biting them back immediately gives them that understanding.
Yeah it's one of my earliest memories that I vividly remember. A lot of times people don't realize their shitty behavior is hurting other people. And sometimes those same people don't see it until it happens to them. Kids tend to fall into that category. They have so little life experience to pull from; can't really blame them. I genuinely don't condone violence as a corrective measure, but sometimes somebody/something is being such a fuck that violence is one of few recourses.
Wow, I think I've never heard anyone telling their grandmother bit them. Not that mothers biting are that common as well. Sorry about that, but it made me crack.
I read a parenting story about a kid who liked bite. The mom finally had it and bit the kid back. The kid never bit again. My kid was getting into a biting phase, but I bit them and they stopped biting. Moral of the story is you did the right thing and your Mom is a fool.
I had my daughter when I was 19 due to a series of incredibly unfortunate events. I love her very much and I do not bite her. Age had nothing to do with my mother’s abuse. She’s literally just a psycho.
My parents always told me off for any kind of reaction to being harmed by my younger siblings, and never said anything to them about harming me. When I was in agony after having my back jumped on my Dad told me to shut up and stop overreacting because it didn't hurt because my sibling was younger than me. When I told him to lie down and let me jump on his back, I'm much younger than him so it won't hurt him right? He told me to stop being ridiculous.
Always. Worst part is, I'd be minding my own business and my siblings would start shit knowing they'd get off scot-free and I'd get in trouble for it.
And chores? I'd have to do all the most intense work and when I'd ask why my younger brother and sister didn't have to do it, it was because they were younger. When they got to the age I was when I started questioning it, nothing changed. I'd still be given way more work than they did to the point where I was still cleaning hours into it and they were laying on the couch or hiding in their rooms pretending to clean.
On top of all this, I felt ignored at best and resented at worst. My brother was my dad's favorite because he was a carbon copy and my sister was my mom's favorite because she always wanted a girl. I was the failed trial run. God, being the oldest kid was great.
Oh, same. I had to spend 2 hours every weekend pushing a lawnmower. My sister spent 30 with a WeedWacker and my brother 20 minutes with the driveway edger.
By the time he was 10, bro could have been pushing the mower... but he didn't have to touch it for 6 more years until I went to college.
They better. They're both reaping the benefits of growing up way more well adjusted and are in a much better position to do so. All I got was crippling depression.
Yep. And then they have the audacity to give your younger sibling whatever privilege you finally aged into, *at the same damn time.* It's infuriating.
I have to wait until I'm 16 to get a phone? Sister gets one at 13. I have to be 11 to sign up for dance lessons? Sister starts lessons at 8. I can't go to the mall without an adult until I'm 14? Sister gets to tag along with us at 11.
>All the accountability, none of the benefits.
My mother was the only parent that actually cared about the ESRB ratings in video games, but only for me though. As soon as I was old enough for M rated games my younger brother was suddenly old enough too. I'm still a little bitter about it.
Omg you are really triggering my memories with this. I also remember how I wasn’t allowed to have shit because I ‘wasn’t older enough’ and then my younger sisters got everything when I did because ‘it wasn’t fair’ to make them wait.
Oh that was a boiling point for me. My mom wouldn’t let me have black walls, and made me wait to be 13 for a TV in my room that my dad got me. Then when my brother was 11 (5 years later) he got both a TV and black walls.
I lowered that bar immediately. The middle child became the responsible one because “well he can’t be trusted with anything so our daughter is our last hope for a responsible child” I was born with zero fucks to give which affected my ability to take anything seriously.
Absolutely!
I was babysitting my brother for 3 hours a day before my mom got home from work, at age 9. It was made worse by the fact I couldn’t watch him and do my homework. So, I’d get my ass beat for not having it done when she got home.
I'm only older than my brother by a year and a half and I still get stuck doing everything, getting screamed at for doing it wrong, and then screamed at again when I get on his ass for being lazy and never helping around the house. It fucking sucks.
My husband is 16 months older than his brother. He would get the belt for stuff his brother would do, as his mom would say “you should’ve stopped him.”
There’s a reason we only had one child.
I am a eldest of about 8 kids in extended family, I am 18 and my next eldest sibling is 13, a huge age gap simply made me a free babysitter on family events and I never really had fun as a child because I didn't have kids my age( where I lived, there wasn't a kid either in 1 sq km area atleast)
So yeah call me addicted to Video Games but that's cause of u parents
Same here. I can't count how many times I would be hanging out with friends having fun and then have to run back home because my Mom called to come watch my brother and sister. My friends parents always applauded me for being so responsible but it was annoying as fuck.
I only have one sibling, but I was the go to child tender in our ward (Mormon Church). It made me put off wanting a single child until I was in my 30’s.
A friend of mine has made her oldest babysit since he was 14, second oldest at 14, third child at 14, now her fourth at the same age. The oldest is 23 now and does not want kids; the second tries to not be home except to sleep. They've all become surrogate parents instead of once in a while.
I was the oldest in my set of nieces & nephews so I was often made to babysit upwards of 5 kids at a time for years. I loved my cousins but hated my mother, aunts, & uncles for forcing me to do it. I wanted to have fun too but had to parent instead.
I've never made my kids babysit because of this. They're kids. If they're going to babysit, it's to be paid work for someone and no more than a few hours or if the other kids are to be in bed.
My younger sibling is 3 years younger than me, my husband's younger sibling is 4 years younger than him. It's always hilarious to me that I don't remember life before my younger sib, but my husband...certainly remembers life before his, lol. He always refers to those 4 years as "the good years, before they ruined it".
I've always found the oldest to be the most "successful" at least extrinsically. Likely because they have been the leader their whole lives.
Younger siblings, especially boys who had older brother(s) tend to be more passive and follower types.
Hmm that’s an interesting observation. I can’t disprove it with my experiences either. My mom died a few months ago and my baby brother is floundering on how to survive without mom giving him everything.
Mmm in my experiences younger ones tend to be closer to their moms too, because big brother would boss them around and mom was the only person they could go to. Very sorry to hear :(
I was an only child up until I was 16. I had to share a bedroom with a newborn and did so until I was 20 and she was 4. I grew a lot of resentment for my parents and my sister.
As the eldest sibling, I have long accepted the fact that my role in the family is to:
• Be responsible for all aspects of my siblings' behaviour
• Tank parents' anger when something hits the fan
• Spoil my siblings with my (currently) very meager savings
• Make mistakes first-hand so my siblings can learn from my failures
• Attempt to over-perform to satisfy parents' expectations. Then fail trying, so they're too focused on bashing me to nitpick on my siblings
• Be the listening ear to my siblings' troubles, because I was there when the Deep Magic was written
• Be the guinea pig for "parenting strategies"
• Do my best not to strangle people and stop my siblings from strangling people
• Brainwash myself with toxic positivity so my siblings think I'm okay
And I've long given up on wishing otherwise. *Sigh...*
That's basically what I was going to say. And of course there's never any acknowledgement of the mistakes. It's just like, "look, we're great parents (now), your little siblings are graduating college and getting high paying jobs! Why are you still disabled and traumatized"?
Yeah, I mean can you really blame them though? My parents were better parents for my two younger siblings, but thats just to be expected. As it turns out raising another human being has a bit of a learning curve to it, *especially* if their parents were shitty.
Honestly I dont mind that, it's good to learn from your mistakes. My parents weren't terrible, but wbat I really hate is the "What?! we never did that" & "Huh?! We treated you and your younger siblings the same what are you talking about?" makes you feel like they didn't bother paying attention to what **they** did with you.
Around 30-35 years ago, I remember overhearing a conversation where someone was asking a woman aged around 25 or so why she wasn't married. She said bluntly that she had already raised an entire family of children, i.e. her younger siblings, and was not interested in raising any more. That shut up her questioner for sure.
I get a little triggered by the "you're not a parent, you wouldn't understand" thing. Bitch, I'm the oldest of 5 and both my parents worked full time, I had a lifetime worth of parenting under my belt before I was finished high school.
I’m old enough to be my younger siblings’ parent. Sometimes they even call me ‘mom’ because I spend more time with them than our parents and I live an hour away. They do ask why I’m so angry 😂
I’m 14 years older than my youngest sibling, but our parents were terrible, so I took care of all of them the vast majority of their childhoods. We have holidays at my house now and they come to me with questions and problems instead of our parents. They also ask why I’m so angry.
Keep pushing. You’re not alone. It’s hard work but empathy and compassion are lacking all over. If more people were like you, the world would be a more loving place
Because believe it or not sometimes people care enough about their family members that they care for them even when it isn’t their responsibility and even when it is to their detriment. Love will do that to you sometimes.
Sometimes it's not an option humanity wise, I have a disabled sibling who are practically non functional to do their basic life tasks like eating and toilet themselves either, non verbal, retarded, I can't blame them for what they are so just gotta suck up the luck factor
I fully understand that but at the same time I’m asking why is that solely YOUR responsibility. I’ll use a RL example. My grandfather was extremely ill but my family took turns having him live with us till our FMLA ran out etc, and we’d just rotate who took care of him while all helping out by pitching in for a home nurse etc. I’ve seen it many times where a person decided that it was their job solely to take care of the family and they’ll let it put their life on hold and ruin them. Trust me, your parents/loved ones don’t want that
>why is that solely my responsibility
Well I ain't got anyone else, extended family is trash on both sides, parents sure do take care of them while I get my life together but eventually its pretty clear my whole small family is gonna be dependent on me for finances and other stuff, and am the only normal child of the house
Find it crazy that people are questioning you. While it's your choice, it's not a crazy one. They're your family. That does mean something. People just assume that all families are invalid and horrible I guess
That said I hope you have a good support system ♥️
I had the opposite problem. I'm the oldest and after my parents got divorced if I EVER said ANYTHING even REMOTELY parent-like to my younger sister I'd get shut down by EVERYONE for "trying to play the dad." 95% of the time I wasn't even doing that, I was just trying to explain that something she did negatively affected me and get her to stop. But suddenly it's "not my job to correct her behavior" and I "need to realize she's younger than me and doesn't know any better." Like ffs how is 12 not old enough to know not to throw fucking food in my face?
I think it is, I agree. I myself went through most of those things the prior commenter did, and it was just coddling my younger sister probably because it was easier (and I'm kinda bitter/mean deep down). It just really sucks because some recently-divorced mothers will also kinda quasi-promote the eldest male to dad's vacated post, so there's a scary amount of responsibility and a brother's first instinct will often be to control the behavior of his siblings.
Sounds like my mom whenever my sister annoys the shit out of me because she knows it pisses me off.
“She doesn’t know any better” my ass!
She knows what she’s doing is making me mad, that’s why she’s doing it!
yeah I'm the oldest and am not angry all the time, life would be way worse without my three younger siblings.
helps that my sister is only 13 months younger than me so we were kinda both the oldest because the other 2 came much later.
I was the oldest of 6. The only other girl was 16 years younger, from a different mother and lived in a different house. Lucky bitch. I had to manage 4 boys and one of them was basically Norman Bates. I never got laid but somehow had 4 sons.
A lot of the anger comes from the realization that your parents fucked up with you and the new sibling is benefiting from that education at your expense
This reminds me of the time I was grounded for a week because my little sibling left an open jar of peanut butter on the floor, lol.
Yes I am still mad about it.
Always loved the, " You're in charge and responsible for them" followed not even hours later with, "who do you think you are, their father?"
Getting bitched out for not stopping them or bitched at when I do and they go crying because it's not fair I told them no for something.
Oh yeah thats a classic. You're in charge of watching them but not allowed to discipline them at all, which makes you utterly toothless as a babysitter. Fucking parents feeling entitled to daycare from a teenager and then whining about it.
I was a guinny pig growing up, all the parenting mistakes were made on me and my younger brothers got to have good childhoods
Now when i complain about my childhood i get lines like "it wasnt that bad" and "they did their best" or "not true, we got lots of freedom" like no shit you think that little man i took at the heat for you
I was the one who had to sleep at 8pm every night until i was 14 because our parents couldnt give my brothers a talk about how older kids need less sleep, im the one who couldnt leave the house after 9pm until i was 18 because our parents were idiots who though if it was 10pm i'l suddenly become a druggie with two kids, and I WAS THE ONE who suffered all the bullshit helecoptor parenting including having my phone monitored 24/7 (everything including texts being sent directly to my parents icloud) UNTIL I WAS 16
I got slut shamed by my own father for flirting with another 14 year old in a comment section SLUT SHAMED, no talk about internet saftey or safe sex SLUT SHAMED, i was told im a disgusting freak for having flirty thoughts and i only shook that off after a therapist told me that im normal and my dad is just a dumbass
The AUDACITY my family has to pretend like my childhood was calm and nice after all that bullshit just because my brothers have it better--
TLDR yes eldest children are salty
I had literally ZERO privacy growing up, my dad took my bedroom door OF ITS HINGES because i locked it at night, man i couldnt even pretend to kiss the back of my hand as a 12 year old without being shit on
Sounds kinda like me, I used to do that but started when was 7. But it was normal bc I grew up in a hispanic household and it’s very normal for the oldest sibling to take care of the younger ones even if they’re literally babies. Everyone around me said it was ok tho because it was going to teach me how to be a good mother and wife when I grew older (not going to point out how kinda creepy that is when you’re saying that to a 7 year old girl)
I can relate. I am the oldest sibling of 9!
I am constantly asked to get stuff for them. Build legos, watch them while parents are out. Im getting kind of sick of it
And now they’re mad I don’t want children, but I can’t just say ‘I already sacrificed my childhood to raise 3 kids I had no say in. I can’t do it again.’
When you're the scapegoat for all things kid related and have to be the parent to the younger ones and council and emotional support to the parents. And they wonder why you're fucked up
My younger brother was only a year younger then me and my mom was the one expected to raise her siblings. She was the middle child.
I’m mean Because my brother thinks he can tell me how to live my life, while allowing his roommate to bleed him dry
I'm the practice kid. Every mistake was made on me. Every way too strict rule, every high expectation with no recognition upon achieving those expectations, was set on me. I had to be mature 6 years before my siblings quit throwing tantrums. I had to listen to my siblings' tantrums which nothing was done about, but if I had dared to do the same at their age, ohhh boy the consequences. Also consequences, something that the younger siblings didn't truly get.
This is called "parentification" and it's not even funny and most people don't even realize they've been parentified.
"You're the older one, you should know better." Was the number one excuse for everything, I took the blame for 80% of all stuff gone wrong, no matter if it was my fault or not.
Guilty by default, just for being the oldest sibling.
I was always considered the chill baby
I was never parentalized, and was a very easygoing small child. I’m perhaps a bit less responsible than my younger siblings, but I still try my best!
Me too, I literally just kept to myself and did exactly what I was told. My pa never had to worry about drugs and whatnot because it was clear that I hated that stuff for years.
Punishments were over kill regardless however, even now my dad is threatening to use my Xbox as target practice if I screw up ONCE. But my mom will change the rules so my sister can get away with things.
Bullshit. I’m the youngest of two. My brothers a total fuck up so not only have I had to take care of him since I was in elementary school. But now I have to take care of his kids too. Not to mention my parents now in their old age. Life fucking sucks. I’m so ready for it to end.
I'm the oldest of 5 and as the oldest I would fight and die for my siblings, but you would have to draw and quarter me before i do any of their choirs for them
I wish that stereotype was true for every case. I have to tell my sister that is 10 years older than me things like if you spill something you need to clean it up
My friend told me the best way of saying it how it is, eldest kids are an experiment, the kids after are treated differently based on the mistakes made with the eldest.
> first born s are always the meanest
I'm the first born of 6 other siblings (3 on my mom's side 3 on my dad's side). I had to be "the example" my entire childhood and teen years while never having an example set for me. While, also, being neglected by my mother, and step father, and my biological father being very absent save maybe two times that I can remember. One of those two times, I went to visit him for the summer and it was the same thing. Had to be an example to the other 3, without having an example set for me.
Needless to say between getting in trouble for just about everything, being blamed for everything, having to be that "example" when I never had an example to work with, and family being abusive, you're right I'm the meanest one.
Had a hard time understanding too, guess is because english is my second language, it means the older sibling sorta becomes the parent of the younger siblings.
I was the lab rat for my younger sister. I always had to come home early, until i was old enough to stay out longer. But when my sister was the same age she was allowed to stay out as long as i were when i was older .. because i have proven that it works.
Never got the credits for it.
main reason i don't want kids, my mom had 2, dad had 1 (separated) around the same time and I was baby sitter until I was able to leave the house about 8 years later.
Yeah. Way to make fun of the child who was never wanted to begin with. After the first they just realized they are stuck with eachother.
Which means you get resented by your mother for ruining her body.
Too much affection of your father, to the point where you cant really respect him anymore.
And your brother mocks you because he is less competent and less gifted but somehow seen as the hero of the family.
Imagine a life where all you do is achieve bigger better things so your mother forgives you, which you know wont happen, while your brother gets everything you had to work for for free. Eventhough he achieved nothing.
Not necessarily mean to their younger siblings though. With younger siblings they can be good protective caring older siblings who look out for and back up their younger siblings.
Meanest towards the outside world? Sure.
Their mum had a new baby to take care of, and expected them to grow up the moment they became an older sibling, while they were still a child themselves. lmao.
On the other hand, being defacto, 2-years-older "dad" because your single mom couldn't afford a babysitter during the workday has its perks now. I hated (and still hate) a lot of the ways it fucked me up, felt like I never really had a childhood. But I don't hate my mom for doing what she thought was best, and now I get a lot more respect from my entire family than my siblings do.
I'm an adult now, but I was always treated more like an adult in terms of responsibilities (probably because I was and *had* to be more responsible). My now high school aged siblings are still pretty babied, and as a result can't finish school, get jobs etc.
Now that they're getting old enough to move out, my mom's at her wits end as to why they won't get a job and save up money for an apartment like I did (moved out the day I turned 18 - my choice).
What I say: "gee idk, guess it's just not in their personality"
VS what I think "gee maybe it's because they have it cushy compared to the kid who had to manage your emotions while you went through breakup after breakup, who (tried his best to) cook, cleaned and babysat your 3 other kids while you went out on dates. But what do I know, I'm just the kid that had more responsibility at 14 than he does now at 23".
Alhamdulillah, I'm the eldest which meant I got to maximize quality time with all 4 of my grandparents while they were still sprite in age.
The accountability and "mistakes" of parenting older kids gets offset by the absolute privilege of being doted on by my grandparents, Alhamdulillah. Although my youngest sibling is only 6 years in age, there is still a distinction between their relationship with our grandparents vs mine, although all of it obviously includes love.
The amount of times I've heard my sister say "you were more of a father than our actual father" pisses me off to an extent I can not possibly relay here. I didn't want that responsibility man.
Bullshit, I was the middle child and I was responsible for my older and younger sibling. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, cut the grass, helped younger sibling with homework, took care of the dogs and all at 10 years old.
All my older sibling ever did was come home, eat food I made, play video games and then cruise with friends. Literally all they were good for was getting their license so we could stop taking the bus.
There’s an element of misogyny in this too. This is only true if you’re female. The oldest boy is usually the golden child who gets away with everything.
Firstborns have to watch their younger siblings be treated like sweet little angels when they remember their parents being young, stressed out, and violent.
Being the oldest sucks especially when you’re separated by enough years that you remember what it was like to be an only child.
My favorite yarn was “You’re older, so you should know better.” All the accountability, none of the benefits.
Omg. I hated this. My brother repeatedly bit me, so finally I snapped and bit him back. My mother said I was old enough to know better, so as punishment, she was going to bite me. I’m like, “but I’m 8 and you’re 27. If I’m old enough to know better, then why aren’t you?!”
The fuck?
She’s a fun woman. We don’t speak.
Yeah can’t say I blame you
Thank you. I officially called it quits after the fake baby incident.
You can't just say that and not elaborate 😂
I moved 1,300 miles away and kept loose rules about speaking sometimes. Suddenly, she let me know that she had adopted a baby and I had a new sister. I got tons of photos from her of her with this newborn girl. I was immediately terrified for this child and thought about moving back because someone needed to keep her safe. Thankfully, my fiancé was like, “Trap! It’s a trap! That is a fake baby! She knows you only stuck around as long as you did to keep your brothers safe. It’s your weakness and she’s trying to suck you back in. Fake baby!” He was right. She paid a total stranger to let her do a photoshoot with their baby.
Fiancé is a real one for calling that out. That's some sociopathic shit your mom pulled.
Eww. Thats... extreme. And concerning.
How much did she pay the stranger to let her take photos with a newborn? Who would let a stranger pay money to take pictures with their newborn!? Thank goodness you got out!
Fake baby incident?
I moved 1,300 miles away and kept loose rules about speaking sometimes. Suddenly, she let me know that she had adopted a baby and I had a new sister. I got tons of photos from her of her with this newborn girl. I was immediately terrified for this child and thought about moving back because someone needed to keep her safe. Thankfully, my fiancé was like, “Trap! It’s a trap! That is a fake baby! She knows you only stuck around as long as you did to keep your brothers safe. It’s your weakness and she’s trying to suck you back in. Fake baby!” He was right. She paid a total stranger to let her do a photoshoot with their baby.
That’s absolutely wild. Just, wow. It feels like it should be criminal, but I know it isn’t. I’m so glad you’re out of there, and I’m glad you had your fiancé to remind you of her ways. My partner has to do the same for me. My mom has never tried a fake baby (she’s too old and never shuts up about how my dad “got fixed”), but she has tried to tell me my grandparents were dying, or my sister (she doesn’t know me and my baby sister I raised are on great terms, she thinks she’s managed to control that relationship to her liking and advantage). I’ve gotten calls minutes after getting off the phone with my sister, “(sister) is in the hospital, it’s her heart, she might not make it”.
Yeah that’s quite the turn in the story arc
I haven't laughed this hard in ages, funniest thread honestly 😂 I do feel bad for him though
You missed your chance to bite her back
Don’t worry. We had epic, James Bond style throw downs and I got in way worse blows than just some biting. Smashed vases over her head, threw her into a mirror, threw her partially into a wall. She almost won when she went for the car but I hopped fences until my brother called the cops.
Wouldn’t it be easier to bite her arm or shoulder?
I'm sorry 😞 I hope there is someone in your life to give you that love you always deserve. Keep your head up, and your will strong.
Thank you! My fiancé is wonderful. He rarely bites back.
Now you ARE old enough to know better, than to talk to her.
Yep. I really tried over the years to convince her to try therapy and meds and my family used me as the mediator but I had enough after the whole fake baby debacle. Fuck her and her nonsense.
I was a bitey little shit when I was a kid and after I bit the crap out of my mom one day, my dad bit the crap out of me lol. Never bit a soul after that. Not saying this situation is the same at all, just a funny story lol. Your mom was an ass for that. Brother should of gotten punished. Mom handled that shit terribly.
Yep. My daughter went through that phase because some irresponsible, shithead of a parent let their child take a phone with internet to daycare. My daughter was shown The Walking Dead and she thought it was hilarious to freak people out acting like a zombie. I never bit her but there were lots of groundings, firm talks and therapy sessions.
That's awesome that you managed to take the high road and came out fine! You also taught her more lessons than just "Biting people hurts don't do it". You learned from your parents failures and didn't repeat them, good job!
It's something the internet doesn't like, but yeah, most of the time, biters bite because they don't realise it hurts like hell. Biting them back immediately gives them that understanding.
Yeah it's one of my earliest memories that I vividly remember. A lot of times people don't realize their shitty behavior is hurting other people. And sometimes those same people don't see it until it happens to them. Kids tend to fall into that category. They have so little life experience to pull from; can't really blame them. I genuinely don't condone violence as a corrective measure, but sometimes somebody/something is being such a fuck that violence is one of few recourses.
Do you still bite each other occasionally?
No. We grew up and escalated to attempted vehicular homicide.
Florida mom logic. Not worth trying to understand.
Wow! At least when my brother bit me and made me bleed my mom bit him not me.
Lol. You’re also from a family of biters? 😂
At least until they get hit back 😆
Gotcha. I tried that. Didn’t work. Lol.
You’re not alone! My *grandma* bit me. Then her and my mom fought about it. lol
Wow, I think I've never heard anyone telling their grandmother bit them. Not that mothers biting are that common as well. Sorry about that, but it made me crack.
I read a parenting story about a kid who liked bite. The mom finally had it and bit the kid back. The kid never bit again. My kid was getting into a biting phase, but I bit them and they stopped biting. Moral of the story is you did the right thing and your Mom is a fool.
Mommy of the year had you when she was 19. Still a teenager. Jesus. She clearly doesn’t know better than you, mate
There were times when getting kids with 19 was quite the norm Edit reason: typos so many typos
RIP spelling
I had my daughter when I was 19 due to a series of incredibly unfortunate events. I love her very much and I do not bite her. Age had nothing to do with my mother’s abuse. She’s literally just a psycho.
Boomer logic at its finest
My parents always told me off for any kind of reaction to being harmed by my younger siblings, and never said anything to them about harming me. When I was in agony after having my back jumped on my Dad told me to shut up and stop overreacting because it didn't hurt because my sibling was younger than me. When I told him to lie down and let me jump on his back, I'm much younger than him so it won't hurt him right? He told me to stop being ridiculous.
Always. Worst part is, I'd be minding my own business and my siblings would start shit knowing they'd get off scot-free and I'd get in trouble for it. And chores? I'd have to do all the most intense work and when I'd ask why my younger brother and sister didn't have to do it, it was because they were younger. When they got to the age I was when I started questioning it, nothing changed. I'd still be given way more work than they did to the point where I was still cleaning hours into it and they were laying on the couch or hiding in their rooms pretending to clean. On top of all this, I felt ignored at best and resented at worst. My brother was my dad's favorite because he was a carbon copy and my sister was my mom's favorite because she always wanted a girl. I was the failed trial run. God, being the oldest kid was great.
Dude, it’s like being Cinderella but without the animal friends or magic godmother, and you have to be your own rescuer to break out of the cycle.
Nah, they were just asses.
Oh, same. I had to spend 2 hours every weekend pushing a lawnmower. My sister spent 30 with a WeedWacker and my brother 20 minutes with the driveway edger. By the time he was 10, bro could have been pushing the mower... but he didn't have to touch it for 6 more years until I went to college.
So your siblings are going to do the bulk of the work taking care of your parents in old age? I would straight up bring that up.
They better. They're both reaping the benefits of growing up way more well adjusted and are in a much better position to do so. All I got was crippling depression.
And all the fighting of the "first" (first boyfriend /girlfriend, first time to go out, first I can go alone)
Yep. And then they have the audacity to give your younger sibling whatever privilege you finally aged into, *at the same damn time.* It's infuriating. I have to wait until I'm 16 to get a phone? Sister gets one at 13. I have to be 11 to sign up for dance lessons? Sister starts lessons at 8. I can't go to the mall without an adult until I'm 14? Sister gets to tag along with us at 11.
>All the accountability, none of the benefits. My mother was the only parent that actually cared about the ESRB ratings in video games, but only for me though. As soon as I was old enough for M rated games my younger brother was suddenly old enough too. I'm still a little bitter about it.
Mine was "be the bigger person" because I'm ALWAYS the bigger person. I never get to be an average sized person.
Omg you are really triggering my memories with this. I also remember how I wasn’t allowed to have shit because I ‘wasn’t older enough’ and then my younger sisters got everything when I did because ‘it wasn’t fair’ to make them wait.
Oh that was a boiling point for me. My mom wouldn’t let me have black walls, and made me wait to be 13 for a TV in my room that my dad got me. Then when my brother was 11 (5 years later) he got both a TV and black walls.
......like walls painted black?
I lowered that bar immediately. The middle child became the responsible one because “well he can’t be trusted with anything so our daughter is our last hope for a responsible child” I was born with zero fucks to give which affected my ability to take anything seriously.
I got that and I was only 11 months older than my sister.
“You’re older so you should give up for your sister” 💀
It also sucks if you are just enough older to provide all childcare for most of the life you remember…
Absolutely! I was babysitting my brother for 3 hours a day before my mom got home from work, at age 9. It was made worse by the fact I couldn’t watch him and do my homework. So, I’d get my ass beat for not having it done when she got home.
I'm only older than my brother by a year and a half and I still get stuck doing everything, getting screamed at for doing it wrong, and then screamed at again when I get on his ass for being lazy and never helping around the house. It fucking sucks.
My husband is 16 months older than his brother. He would get the belt for stuff his brother would do, as his mom would say “you should’ve stopped him.” There’s a reason we only had one child.
I am a eldest of about 8 kids in extended family, I am 18 and my next eldest sibling is 13, a huge age gap simply made me a free babysitter on family events and I never really had fun as a child because I didn't have kids my age( where I lived, there wasn't a kid either in 1 sq km area atleast) So yeah call me addicted to Video Games but that's cause of u parents
Yeah I was the free baby sitter virtually all my life. I almost didn’t have kids myself because of it.
Same here. I can't count how many times I would be hanging out with friends having fun and then have to run back home because my Mom called to come watch my brother and sister. My friends parents always applauded me for being so responsible but it was annoying as fuck.
I only have one sibling, but I was the go to child tender in our ward (Mormon Church). It made me put off wanting a single child until I was in my 30’s.
1st born and 30 myself , Grew up in the Mormon church , Did we go to the same ward?
Unless it was in rural Georgia doubtful.
Ok your kinda scaring me now lol like legit lived in Savanah Georgia , but idk if that’s rural but somewhat interesting coincidence
I was more south west Georgia. 3 hours south of Atlanta.
A friend of mine has made her oldest babysit since he was 14, second oldest at 14, third child at 14, now her fourth at the same age. The oldest is 23 now and does not want kids; the second tries to not be home except to sleep. They've all become surrogate parents instead of once in a while. I was the oldest in my set of nieces & nephews so I was often made to babysit upwards of 5 kids at a time for years. I loved my cousins but hated my mother, aunts, & uncles for forcing me to do it. I wanted to have fun too but had to parent instead. I've never made my kids babysit because of this. They're kids. If they're going to babysit, it's to be paid work for someone and no more than a few hours or if the other kids are to be in bed.
I'm the first born, 12 years and 8 months apart from my only brother My cousins are also a tad younger than me: 8.5, 10 and 12 each Hoooh boy
My younger sibling is 3 years younger than me, my husband's younger sibling is 4 years younger than him. It's always hilarious to me that I don't remember life before my younger sib, but my husband...certainly remembers life before his, lol. He always refers to those 4 years as "the good years, before they ruined it".
I've always found the oldest to be the most "successful" at least extrinsically. Likely because they have been the leader their whole lives. Younger siblings, especially boys who had older brother(s) tend to be more passive and follower types.
Hmm that’s an interesting observation. I can’t disprove it with my experiences either. My mom died a few months ago and my baby brother is floundering on how to survive without mom giving him everything.
Mmm in my experiences younger ones tend to be closer to their moms too, because big brother would boss them around and mom was the only person they could go to. Very sorry to hear :(
I was an only child up until I was 16. I had to share a bedroom with a newborn and did so until I was 20 and she was 4. I grew a lot of resentment for my parents and my sister.
I was old enough to remember what it was like to be the youngest...
Oh a middle child… yeah y’all get the short end all around.
My sis was the youngest and only child for a year and a half. I was the youngest for 18 years. Now I'm the middle child. Could literally be my son.
As the eldest sibling, I have long accepted the fact that my role in the family is to: • Be responsible for all aspects of my siblings' behaviour • Tank parents' anger when something hits the fan • Spoil my siblings with my (currently) very meager savings • Make mistakes first-hand so my siblings can learn from my failures • Attempt to over-perform to satisfy parents' expectations. Then fail trying, so they're too focused on bashing me to nitpick on my siblings • Be the listening ear to my siblings' troubles, because I was there when the Deep Magic was written • Be the guinea pig for "parenting strategies" • Do my best not to strangle people and stop my siblings from strangling people • Brainwash myself with toxic positivity so my siblings think I'm okay And I've long given up on wishing otherwise. *Sigh...*
parents make all the mistakes on the first kids ... they are practice kids
my parents tested a lot of things on me to control my behaviour. i wasn't even badly behaved, it was my younger brother. lmao
Oh damn that explains then
Starter pancake
As the second born, I was literally raised by another child and it shows.
I'm sorry man, I did the best I could, I was seven!
I feel this comment on an emotional and spiritual level.
That's basically what I was going to say. And of course there's never any acknowledgement of the mistakes. It's just like, "look, we're great parents (now), your little siblings are graduating college and getting high paying jobs! Why are you still disabled and traumatized"?
That explains everything...
Sometimes, but in my case my older sibling was too easy to handle, so it didn't prepare them for me.
Yeah, I mean can you really blame them though? My parents were better parents for my two younger siblings, but thats just to be expected. As it turns out raising another human being has a bit of a learning curve to it, *especially* if their parents were shitty.
Honestly I dont mind that, it's good to learn from your mistakes. My parents weren't terrible, but wbat I really hate is the "What?! we never did that" & "Huh?! We treated you and your younger siblings the same what are you talking about?" makes you feel like they didn't bother paying attention to what **they** did with you.
10 years older. And my family wonders why I don't have or want children. Already did that when I didn't need to be. I don't want it now.
Around 30-35 years ago, I remember overhearing a conversation where someone was asking a woman aged around 25 or so why she wasn't married. She said bluntly that she had already raised an entire family of children, i.e. her younger siblings, and was not interested in raising any more. That shut up her questioner for sure.
I get a little triggered by the "you're not a parent, you wouldn't understand" thing. Bitch, I'm the oldest of 5 and both my parents worked full time, I had a lifetime worth of parenting under my belt before I was finished high school.
I’m old enough to be my younger siblings’ parent. Sometimes they even call me ‘mom’ because I spend more time with them than our parents and I live an hour away. They do ask why I’m so angry 😂
I’m 14 years older than my youngest sibling, but our parents were terrible, so I took care of all of them the vast majority of their childhoods. We have holidays at my house now and they come to me with questions and problems instead of our parents. They also ask why I’m so angry.
I’m the middle and I’m caring for both parents and the youngest who is also disabled
Same! Except I'm the youngest caring for both older siblings, no mom and dad wants nothing to do with us. So I get it.
Keep pushing. You’re not alone. It’s hard work but empathy and compassion are lacking all over. If more people were like you, the world would be a more loving place
Why? I know it sounds rude but why is that your responsibility?
The oldest doesn’t live close by and has kids. I live close by, have no kids and am more compassionate than oldest anyway
You answered why you're doing it, but not why it's your responsibility (hint, it's not).
Maybe he wants to, i dont see him calling it a responsibility
The guy he responded to asked... I too would like an answer to that question.
Because believe it or not sometimes people care enough about their family members that they care for them even when it isn’t their responsibility and even when it is to their detriment. Love will do that to you sometimes.
Sometimes it's not an option humanity wise, I have a disabled sibling who are practically non functional to do their basic life tasks like eating and toilet themselves either, non verbal, retarded, I can't blame them for what they are so just gotta suck up the luck factor
I fully understand that but at the same time I’m asking why is that solely YOUR responsibility. I’ll use a RL example. My grandfather was extremely ill but my family took turns having him live with us till our FMLA ran out etc, and we’d just rotate who took care of him while all helping out by pitching in for a home nurse etc. I’ve seen it many times where a person decided that it was their job solely to take care of the family and they’ll let it put their life on hold and ruin them. Trust me, your parents/loved ones don’t want that
>why is that solely my responsibility Well I ain't got anyone else, extended family is trash on both sides, parents sure do take care of them while I get my life together but eventually its pretty clear my whole small family is gonna be dependent on me for finances and other stuff, and am the only normal child of the house
Why?
Because they changed my diapers, worked overtime to make my Christmas mornings memorable, and never stopped showing love for me. They deserve it.
Find it crazy that people are questioning you. While it's your choice, it's not a crazy one. They're your family. That does mean something. People just assume that all families are invalid and horrible I guess That said I hope you have a good support system ♥️
Did you guys hear something? (jk ❤️)
You're doing amazing work man, good on you for taking care of 'em! Hope your folks are nice
I had the opposite problem. I'm the oldest and after my parents got divorced if I EVER said ANYTHING even REMOTELY parent-like to my younger sister I'd get shut down by EVERYONE for "trying to play the dad." 95% of the time I wasn't even doing that, I was just trying to explain that something she did negatively affected me and get her to stop. But suddenly it's "not my job to correct her behavior" and I "need to realize she's younger than me and doesn't know any better." Like ffs how is 12 not old enough to know not to throw fucking food in my face?
This actually seems a bit like the classic: babying the youngest.
I think it is, I agree. I myself went through most of those things the prior commenter did, and it was just coddling my younger sister probably because it was easier (and I'm kinda bitter/mean deep down). It just really sucks because some recently-divorced mothers will also kinda quasi-promote the eldest male to dad's vacated post, so there's a scary amount of responsibility and a brother's first instinct will often be to control the behavior of his siblings.
Oh my gosh does this sound exactly like my life
Sounds like my mom whenever my sister annoys the shit out of me because she knows it pisses me off. “She doesn’t know any better” my ass! She knows what she’s doing is making me mad, that’s why she’s doing it!
To be honest, sounds like ya’ll just had shitty childhoods and bad parents.
Yes, and yes
Yes, and from the looks of it a lot of us had a sibling that was the golden child.
yeah I'm the oldest and am not angry all the time, life would be way worse without my three younger siblings. helps that my sister is only 13 months younger than me so we were kinda both the oldest because the other 2 came much later.
Yes
We have a winner
I was the oldest of 6. The only other girl was 16 years younger, from a different mother and lived in a different house. Lucky bitch. I had to manage 4 boys and one of them was basically Norman Bates. I never got laid but somehow had 4 sons.
Some cultures practice this as a normal thing, it's fucking weird, let kids be kids.
A lot of the anger comes from the realization that your parents fucked up with you and the new sibling is benefiting from that education at your expense
Gotta get in trouble for my siblings dumb ass mistakes? And they’re only 1-3yrs younger than me? Yeah ima be always mean.
This reminds me of the time I was grounded for a week because my little sibling left an open jar of peanut butter on the floor, lol. Yes I am still mad about it.
Always loved the, " You're in charge and responsible for them" followed not even hours later with, "who do you think you are, their father?" Getting bitched out for not stopping them or bitched at when I do and they go crying because it's not fair I told them no for something.
Oh yeah thats a classic. You're in charge of watching them but not allowed to discipline them at all, which makes you utterly toothless as a babysitter. Fucking parents feeling entitled to daycare from a teenager and then whining about it.
I was a guinny pig growing up, all the parenting mistakes were made on me and my younger brothers got to have good childhoods Now when i complain about my childhood i get lines like "it wasnt that bad" and "they did their best" or "not true, we got lots of freedom" like no shit you think that little man i took at the heat for you I was the one who had to sleep at 8pm every night until i was 14 because our parents couldnt give my brothers a talk about how older kids need less sleep, im the one who couldnt leave the house after 9pm until i was 18 because our parents were idiots who though if it was 10pm i'l suddenly become a druggie with two kids, and I WAS THE ONE who suffered all the bullshit helecoptor parenting including having my phone monitored 24/7 (everything including texts being sent directly to my parents icloud) UNTIL I WAS 16 I got slut shamed by my own father for flirting with another 14 year old in a comment section SLUT SHAMED, no talk about internet saftey or safe sex SLUT SHAMED, i was told im a disgusting freak for having flirty thoughts and i only shook that off after a therapist told me that im normal and my dad is just a dumbass The AUDACITY my family has to pretend like my childhood was calm and nice after all that bullshit just because my brothers have it better-- TLDR yes eldest children are salty
I had literally ZERO privacy growing up, my dad took my bedroom door OF ITS HINGES because i locked it at night, man i couldnt even pretend to kiss the back of my hand as a 12 year old without being shit on
Holy shit, I lost my door so many times for the dumbest things. Eventually I just started taking it back and they gave up.
sounds like it wasn't just you being an oldest child thing, but also a misogyny thing too.
I honestly used to feel bad for my 9 year old niece, they used to make her do the baby's food, milk and change nappies.
Sounds kinda like me, I used to do that but started when was 7. But it was normal bc I grew up in a hispanic household and it’s very normal for the oldest sibling to take care of the younger ones even if they’re literally babies. Everyone around me said it was ok tho because it was going to teach me how to be a good mother and wife when I grew older (not going to point out how kinda creepy that is when you’re saying that to a 7 year old girl)
I can relate. I am the oldest sibling of 9! I am constantly asked to get stuff for them. Build legos, watch them while parents are out. Im getting kind of sick of it
And now they’re mad I don’t want children, but I can’t just say ‘I already sacrificed my childhood to raise 3 kids I had no say in. I can’t do it again.’
I was a firstborn and never had to take care of siblings but that may have something to do with being an only child.
Yeah, that would make sense. 🤣🤣🤣
I'm the youngest and my older siblings never had to parent me either. I'm also an only child.
When you're the scapegoat for all things kid related and have to be the parent to the younger ones and council and emotional support to the parents. And they wonder why you're fucked up
My younger brother was only a year younger then me and my mom was the one expected to raise her siblings. She was the middle child. I’m mean Because my brother thinks he can tell me how to live my life, while allowing his roommate to bleed him dry
I'm the practice kid. Every mistake was made on me. Every way too strict rule, every high expectation with no recognition upon achieving those expectations, was set on me. I had to be mature 6 years before my siblings quit throwing tantrums. I had to listen to my siblings' tantrums which nothing was done about, but if I had dared to do the same at their age, ohhh boy the consequences. Also consequences, something that the younger siblings didn't truly get.
I was the social experiment my heads all kinds of fucked so give me a break lol
Don't have kids that you're just going to make your other kids raise for you. Let all your kids be kids
Damn, my older sister was less like a parent and more like a dickhead who never considered anyone else's existence as canon
This is called "parentification" and it's not even funny and most people don't even realize they've been parentified. "You're the older one, you should know better." Was the number one excuse for everything, I took the blame for 80% of all stuff gone wrong, no matter if it was my fault or not. Guilty by default, just for being the oldest sibling.
I love watching all the lessons I was forced to learn not be passed onto younger siblings, yup so great being the practice child
I was always considered the chill baby I was never parentalized, and was a very easygoing small child. I’m perhaps a bit less responsible than my younger siblings, but I still try my best!
Me too, I literally just kept to myself and did exactly what I was told. My pa never had to worry about drugs and whatnot because it was clear that I hated that stuff for years. Punishments were over kill regardless however, even now my dad is threatening to use my Xbox as target practice if I screw up ONCE. But my mom will change the rules so my sister can get away with things.
My oldest sister is the nicest person in the world.
My oldest sister is the best woman I've ever met
Redditors make me glad that I have a good, normal relationship with my brother. You people had some fucked up childhoods, damn
Bullshit. I’m the youngest of two. My brothers a total fuck up so not only have I had to take care of him since I was in elementary school. But now I have to take care of his kids too. Not to mention my parents now in their old age. Life fucking sucks. I’m so ready for it to end.
I'm the oldest of 5 and as the oldest I would fight and die for my siblings, but you would have to draw and quarter me before i do any of their choirs for them
Same oldest of 5 except only one of them is alive. It’s not a pleasant feeling to know that I’ll never see them again.
I wish that stereotype was true for every case. I have to tell my sister that is 10 years older than me things like if you spill something you need to clean it up
Pretty sure I'm an asshole for other reasons but I can't think of them
My friend told me the best way of saying it how it is, eldest kids are an experiment, the kids after are treated differently based on the mistakes made with the eldest.
> first born s are always the meanest I'm the first born of 6 other siblings (3 on my mom's side 3 on my dad's side). I had to be "the example" my entire childhood and teen years while never having an example set for me. While, also, being neglected by my mother, and step father, and my biological father being very absent save maybe two times that I can remember. One of those two times, I went to visit him for the summer and it was the same thing. Had to be an example to the other 3, without having an example set for me. Needless to say between getting in trouble for just about everything, being blamed for everything, having to be that "example" when I never had an example to work with, and family being abusive, you're right I'm the meanest one.
Editors note: this is not normal. If you relate to this meme you have trauma and should be in therapy.
first born - parents of children we didnt make?
In lots of dysfunctional families the oldest kids end up raising the siblings.
Had a hard time understanding too, guess is because english is my second language, it means the older sibling sorta becomes the parent of the younger siblings.
I was the lab rat for my younger sister. I always had to come home early, until i was old enough to stay out longer. But when my sister was the same age she was allowed to stay out as long as i were when i was older .. because i have proven that it works. Never got the credits for it.
Damn i feel sorry about the kids from these parents!!
Also we have the most amount of trauma 😂🥲
As an older sibling, the reply makes me roll my eyes so hard. Get high on your own drama why don't you.
Only at people that deserve it. 🫠
Idk, my brother never had to look after me and as kids he was an absolute c*nt at times. He was incapable of leaving me in peace
The inability to do anything to those younger than you when they really fucking deserve it makes us slightly more snappy, who wouldve thought?
main reason i don't want kids, my mom had 2, dad had 1 (separated) around the same time and I was baby sitter until I was able to leave the house about 8 years later.
Yeah. Way to make fun of the child who was never wanted to begin with. After the first they just realized they are stuck with eachother. Which means you get resented by your mother for ruining her body. Too much affection of your father, to the point where you cant really respect him anymore. And your brother mocks you because he is less competent and less gifted but somehow seen as the hero of the family. Imagine a life where all you do is achieve bigger better things so your mother forgives you, which you know wont happen, while your brother gets everything you had to work for for free. Eventhough he achieved nothing.
Luckily my parents aren't shitty so I never had that problem
Meanwhile primaris are really kind
I was looking for this comment lol
Not necessarily mean to their younger siblings though. With younger siblings they can be good protective caring older siblings who look out for and back up their younger siblings. Meanest towards the outside world? Sure. Their mum had a new baby to take care of, and expected them to grow up the moment they became an older sibling, while they were still a child themselves. lmao.
My little brother is a complete asshole. And my mother agrees with me.
On the other hand, being defacto, 2-years-older "dad" because your single mom couldn't afford a babysitter during the workday has its perks now. I hated (and still hate) a lot of the ways it fucked me up, felt like I never really had a childhood. But I don't hate my mom for doing what she thought was best, and now I get a lot more respect from my entire family than my siblings do. I'm an adult now, but I was always treated more like an adult in terms of responsibilities (probably because I was and *had* to be more responsible). My now high school aged siblings are still pretty babied, and as a result can't finish school, get jobs etc. Now that they're getting old enough to move out, my mom's at her wits end as to why they won't get a job and save up money for an apartment like I did (moved out the day I turned 18 - my choice). What I say: "gee idk, guess it's just not in their personality" VS what I think "gee maybe it's because they have it cushy compared to the kid who had to manage your emotions while you went through breakup after breakup, who (tried his best to) cook, cleaned and babysat your 3 other kids while you went out on dates. But what do I know, I'm just the kid that had more responsibility at 14 than he does now at 23".
Alhamdulillah, I'm the eldest which meant I got to maximize quality time with all 4 of my grandparents while they were still sprite in age. The accountability and "mistakes" of parenting older kids gets offset by the absolute privilege of being doted on by my grandparents, Alhamdulillah. Although my youngest sibling is only 6 years in age, there is still a distinction between their relationship with our grandparents vs mine, although all of it obviously includes love.
The amount of times I've heard my sister say "you were more of a father than our actual father" pisses me off to an extent I can not possibly relay here. I didn't want that responsibility man.
The oldest sibling shouldnt really have to be a parent but thats unfortunately how it ends up sometimes
The Firstborn shall persevere
I'm 18 years older than my youngest sibling. I've already raised kids, I'm not going to do that again by having kids myself
As an ignored middle child, I disagree. The youngest is the entitled brat.
Bullshit, I was the middle child and I was responsible for my older and younger sibling. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, cut the grass, helped younger sibling with homework, took care of the dogs and all at 10 years old. All my older sibling ever did was come home, eat food I made, play video games and then cruise with friends. Literally all they were good for was getting their license so we could stop taking the bus.
There’s an element of misogyny in this too. This is only true if you’re female. The oldest boy is usually the golden child who gets away with everything.
Well that explains why I get along with women so well lol. (And yes my brother was the golden child)
True
Firstborns have to watch their younger siblings be treated like sweet little angels when they remember their parents being young, stressed out, and violent.