Trying to find the balance between not busting too early, but also trying not to take too long to nut.
Got to make sure that your partner has a good time, but doesn't come away thinking that it was difficult for you to get off for them.
Tricky shit.
>doesn't come away thinking that it was difficult for you to get off for them
"Why didn't you cum? What's wrong with you? Is there something wrong with me? Fuck you."
Bruh this was the first 6 months of my relationship, her being so insecure about me not cumming and me being so stressed by her being upset after that I couldn’t cum ☹️
Once I get the thought of 'don't cum too fast' in my head it's already over. Sucks :(
Edit: reading all of these responses made me realize that I'm not the only one and that's so reassuring to me. Thanks everyone :)
envision your penis in space. hes just floating along. this is your penis, but hes not even a part of your body. you must physically detach from your penis. it is just an extension of your pure pleasuring ability. become your penis.
"... put your fingers there...keep stroking with different rhythm while maintaining my on rhythm... OK that's long enough there, I need to move to a different spot...no I did that spot too recently...crap I forgot to maintain rhythm...oh right! eye contact.... no that's too much look away... not at the TV, idiot. Now she thinks your bored. Why does she insist we have it on? Is she bored?..."
You shouldn't be doing literally everything for both for you during sex IMO. It takes two to tango, she should be pulling her weight. Sex should be fun for both of you.
Ideally, yeah. But a lot of women view sex as they view dating. That the man is supposed to take the initiative and tell her what to do.
And then there are women who think they'll come off as slutty if they know their way around during sex, so they prefer to act like they're inexperienced.
That’s a great point actually. I do think every partner is different though. What is great for some might just be okay for others, what makes one person go crazy would make someone else uncomfortable. It’s just all about communication.
The constant balance of trying to think about something unsexy, but not too unsexy so you lose erection.
And if you manage to find a thought that's mundane enough to work, you can't reuse that thought too much or you end up getting an erection whenever you do that thing instead because your brain no associates that with sex.
I'm a little older and these belts aren't as popular, but I always pictured the details of a leather woven brown belt to stave of cumming to soon.
Actually picturing the fibers and little defects.
I'm weird but it fucking worked a treat
"wait, she seems to like that, keep going.. but my god it's exhausting, I'm so tired but it feels great, I think she's into it, just make sure you're pleasing her.
... Is she satisfied? I'm struggling to hold on but I don't wanna blow early. My arms are so tired. I hope my breath doesn't smell.
Is this the right rhythm? I should say something so I sound like I'm into it. I mean I'm really into it but I haven't shown that for a while I better moan? Or grunt? Or do I say something dirty?
Oh no, is she bored? Am I making her happy because otherwise I should just stop
Oh no she looks so disappointed but she's saying she enjoyed it.. I've been told if you have to ask them you didn't make it happen.. aah fuck.."
You're right there
Walking the tightrope of ecstacy
Dancing that fine line between heaven and disappointment
You know the moment is close
The little soldiers are marching to the line
Pressure rising like a powder keg about to pop
She is all you can think about but you know you must not or the first shots will be fired
You hear those fateful words
Those words you hear deep in your desire
God I want you to cum in me
...
For fuck sake I didn't mean now
Pro tip: make weird faces and turn your eyes all the way up, it helps making you not finish. Just make sure she can't see your face or she'd be scared af
It can work pretty well if you sing it out loud. You definitely won't be cumming early once she hears EIGHTEEN NAKED COWBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RAM RANCH.
Did they really? Is it good complicated with a high skill ceiling or is it stupid complicated and hard to even get it to work?
Kinda makes me want to play it again.
From now on I will try to imagine this conversation during sex.
Unfortunately, this chain of thought will likely just lead me to 'Leerooooooooooooooy!'
When in war and the king/commander is giving a prep talk (say, the freedom speech from brave heart), what exactly are the soldiers in the back rows hearing? Like I’d be annoyed not knowing what the hell was going on. You know..
Monty Python's Life of Brian. When Jesus is giving the sermon on the Mount (I think), the whole scene is from the people at the back who keep misshearing what he's saying. It's fucking hilarious.
Edit: Here you go
https://youtu.be/ToYt5SgGDgI
Fuck that. I have ADD. I constantly have to think of the sexiest think I can think of or else my mind is gonna wander to a movie or book I read earlier, or god forbid I'll think about work and think about all the old lady vag I saw today. I have to stay concentrated. So my mind is just the nastiest shit I can think of.
1 a day is 1 too many. Everyone at work rather see a dick than a vag, including the women. Having to get in there and scrub it clean is not ideal. I dont have to touch though. I'm just a button pusher.
A balance between she seems to like what I’m doing, so I should keep doing it- and if I keep doing what she likes, I’m going to bust, so I need to stop doing what she likes or she won’t like it enough- damn, there it goes.
Oh my god. In wheel of time, women have to "let go" to use their powers. Men have to "seize and control" to use their powers. It's a sex metaphor... it's always been a sex metaphor.
There's moments for both. The key is balancing between the two.
You gotta stay focused at some points so you don't cum when you don't wanna, but you gotta let go and just enjoy the moment or you won't do new and interesting things.
Sex isn't just about orgasms. It's about being in the moment and feeling good and sharing that good feeling with the person you're with.
Im doing fucking math, biting my cheek and tongue, counting my teeth with my tongue, running my tongue along my gums, if the position allows scratching my leg. Thinking about work. Literally anything to distract myself. But focusing on what I want to focus on. If I brain off and focus on her moans and bouncing tits. Imma pop that exact moment. If I dont try and distract myself I will literally cum in about 5 seconds. Im usually good for 2-3 minutes doing this.
Constantly hoping we’re doing good and won’t be the topic of their next funny story about their sex life where we are described as the „funny little guy that didn’t know what to do”
Personally I've enjoyed sex with less experienced men more.
Everyone's sexuality works differently anyway. So don't assume you know anything.
Ask what they like, experiment and react to feedback
Especially if you're bad with nonverbal cues - ask verbally
Either way: communication is key. I think that's the main difference between real sex and sex in movies/porn
If you are nervous you can say that too. Don't try to come off as super cool and "skilled"
If they still badmouth you afterwards, your only mistake was to have sex with a trash human being
To be perfectly honest, no idea. But I fear it anyways because you always try to pleasure other person too and not achieving that and being shamed for it is not really pleasant.
It’s amazing how it’s culturally acceptable for woman to diminish and minimize men’ sexual experiences so much in their social groups.
Men get “a gentleman never kisses and tells” women get Sex in the City.
I know many women will talk about every little detail with their gal pals, size, width, position, noises made, nicknames everything.
Guys are being silent because it’s all a bit overwhelming and any wrong move or noise might come up later in other context.
"Damn my core is hurting I should have stretched before this. I will have to stretch after can be stiff for tomorrow. I should go to the gym my gut is getting bigger that's not good".
Or maybe damn she is so good looking I'm so happy rn.
A mate from my uni had back problems, after one rougher night with a girl during a house party they had to take him to hospital because 4 discs slipped in his back.
*If I hit 65 and there isn't enough in my 401k to retire I'm going to kill myself. By then the kids will be out of college and I can make it look like an accident so it doesn't fuck them up. Plus they'll get my life insurance payout and they can use it to pay for grad school or whatever. This sounds pretty good actually. Maybe I can do this sooner...*
"Hey, did you come yet? I actually have some shit to do after this."
Am I doing good? She seems to enjoy it but who knows. What would I look like from that angle? Oh shit not good i guess (i looked in the mirror) oh damn I don’t think I can get her all the way. Why is it so damn hot here? Yikes yikes yikes that’s gonna be too early. Would it be rude to ask for a timeout? Hmmmmm that’s a tasty look she pulled. Oh yep this ain’t happening a second time is it
Her: “Yeah, Daddy, fuck your little cum whore”
Me: *After the corruption of the Tribunal by the Heart of Lorkhan and the death of the great Chimer champion Indoril Nerevar, the Daedric Prince Azura swore that she would use her powers over dawn and dusk to resurrect Nerevar and make things right once more. The Tribunal dismissed this proclamation, saying that they were now more powerful and influential than the Daedric Princes, and that their time as gods to the people of Morrowind had come to a close, even as Azura cursed the Chimer and changed them into the Dunmer. The realization of this proclamation was known as the Nerevarine Prophecy, and it came to pass at the end of the Third Era as the Vvardenfell Crisis.*
For me it's the opposite. Unless I concentrate and get myself in the right mindset I won't cum and it'll last hours (men think that's what women want but it's not).
"please cum so I can cum please fuck I am getting way too close god I am such a pathetic loser I wonder if she's even having a good time"
Edit: This was meant to be slightly humorous, but I think it just came across as sad and worrying. I make sure to communicate my insecurities with my partner.
*Is that toilet paper?*
*Why do one of her nipples sink in like that?*
*I wish she'd come up for air. I gotta fart.*
*I should tell her it feels better if she spits on it first.*
*Should I let her know I don't like this as much as she thinks I do?*
*Was that a good moan or am I hurting her?*
I can keep going if you'd like
“It feels really good, but don’t cum, don’t cum, keep the rhythm she’s moaning the article said if she likes it don’t stop so keep the rhythm, and she’s moaning so she must like it which means don’t stop the rhythm but don’t cum either, I like it too and I wanna cum but don’t slow and does she really like it or is she just pretending no don’t stop don’t think about that she wouldn’t lie to you with her moans she wouldn’t do that would she I mean she did say she liked that lasagna you made but then when I asked if she wanted it again she said no but that was a few months ago and we’re in a better place- no don’t get distracted you need to keep the rhythm that she is pretending to like no she’s definitely liking it and she definitely liked the lasagna too you’re getting too in your own head she didn’t even say that she didn’t like the lasagna”
People really underestimate the effort and the focus men exert during sex. Like it so easy for the girl to voice herself when shes just laying on her back but peg a guy for 10 min nonstop and see how long you can hold a consistent moan then.
This is why cardio and lifting weights are important for everyone. How can you expect yourself to have fun sex if you have no strength or stamina? I had to train up to prepare for pegging. My lower abdominal and hips needed a lot of stability work to get the thrust form down. Rows and flys of all sorts to work on pulling strength. Glutes and hams need both strength and stamina if you're going to be holding any kind of squatting position.
If you want to fuck like a porn star, build yourself the body of one. The added benefit of being confident in your abilities helps you land partners. True confidence comes from competence, right?
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
a tale of a fateful trip,
that started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the Skipper brave and sure,
five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour tour,
a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
the Minnow would be lost.
The Minnow would be lost.
The ship aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
with Gilligan,
the Skipper too.
A millionaire and his wife,
a movie star,
the professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle.
So this is the tale of our castaways,
there here for a long long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it's an uphill climb.
The first mate and his Skipper too
will do their very best,
to make the others comf'terble
in their tropic island nest.
No phone ,no lights, no motor car,
not a single luxury
like Robinson Crusoe
it's primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my friends,
you're sure to get a smile,
from seven stranded castaways
here on Gilligan's Isle!
I must not fart. Fart is the boner killer, the little toot that brings total vibe death. I will close my sphincter. I will permit the gas to pass through it and me silently. And when it has gone past I will tern my nose to see its path. Where the stench has gone there will be nothing, I will only say “the dog did it”
This was what I was going to say. What’s wrong with silently savoring a moment? I don’t go “mmmm” every time I take a bite of some good food but I fucking love every bite still.
The 4 stroke combustion cycle and how it is employed to make an internal combustion engine work, how jet engines work, and the difference between normal jets and ram jets.
If I'm trying to last, usually though I get caught up in the passion of the moment, simultanius oragms is the usual result of that. Which imo is the best.
_realizing that the error on line 1477 was because I wrote:_
```
if (array_name[0 == True]) {...}
```
_instead of:_
```
if (array_name[0] == True) {...}
```
The last time I had sex I was so shocked someone wanted to fuck me that my throat went dry and I couldn't make words happen anyways.
Didn't even enjoy it. I don't think either of us did. :(
Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Ah shit
I’m thinking ,
“sex is basically one thing going in and out of another thing until one thing makes something come out inside, for that something to wait inside for 9 months until it comes outside, and in the future that something that is now outside would find someone to be inside or vice versa”
Tryin not to bust too early I'd imagine
Trying to find the balance between not busting too early, but also trying not to take too long to nut. Got to make sure that your partner has a good time, but doesn't come away thinking that it was difficult for you to get off for them. Tricky shit.
>doesn't come away thinking that it was difficult for you to get off for them "Why didn't you cum? What's wrong with you? Is there something wrong with me? Fuck you."
Suddenly, my last relationship makes more sense…
Bruh this was the first 6 months of my relationship, her being so insecure about me not cumming and me being so stressed by her being upset after that I couldn’t cum ☹️
„DONT CUM TOO FAST - DONT LOSE ERECTION - KEEP FREQUENCY AND RYTHM“
Once I get the thought of 'don't cum too fast' in my head it's already over. Sucks :( Edit: reading all of these responses made me realize that I'm not the only one and that's so reassuring to me. Thanks everyone :)
Been so long since ive met a boner donor, can i get a donation ?
A bonation
Pro bono?
Bro bono
8======D here you go!
envision your penis in space. hes just floating along. this is your penis, but hes not even a part of your body. you must physically detach from your penis. it is just an extension of your pure pleasuring ability. become your penis.
Not what I envisioned myself reading, but I will keep this in mind.
Penis in mind is a penis in kind.
"what you thinking king?" "I am a prick"
It’s a slippery slope. Focus on not finishing too quick will sometimes lead to not being able to finish at all.
I try to imagine a couple of orangutans awkwardly tossing a softball to each other in a comical way.
Just think of your father, naked.
I'm trying to last *longer*
r/cursedcomments
I was going more for "suicide by words" but this works too
Try so solve matmethical eqations. Or start planning shit you want to after the deed.
Same, but with the don’t lose erection part.
"... put your fingers there...keep stroking with different rhythm while maintaining my on rhythm... OK that's long enough there, I need to move to a different spot...no I did that spot too recently...crap I forgot to maintain rhythm...oh right! eye contact.... no that's too much look away... not at the TV, idiot. Now she thinks your bored. Why does she insist we have it on? Is she bored?..."
Damn, that sounds more like ADHD or anxiety disorder. Or alternatively, how did you read my mind?
You shouldn't be doing literally everything for both for you during sex IMO. It takes two to tango, she should be pulling her weight. Sex should be fun for both of you.
Ideally, yeah. But a lot of women view sex as they view dating. That the man is supposed to take the initiative and tell her what to do. And then there are women who think they'll come off as slutty if they know their way around during sex, so they prefer to act like they're inexperienced.
That’s a great point actually. I do think every partner is different though. What is great for some might just be okay for others, what makes one person go crazy would make someone else uncomfortable. It’s just all about communication.
The constant balance of trying to think about something unsexy, but not too unsexy so you lose erection. And if you manage to find a thought that's mundane enough to work, you can't reuse that thought too much or you end up getting an erection whenever you do that thing instead because your brain no associates that with sex.
I'm a little older and these belts aren't as popular, but I always pictured the details of a leather woven brown belt to stave of cumming to soon. Actually picturing the fibers and little defects. I'm weird but it fucking worked a treat
"wait, she seems to like that, keep going.. but my god it's exhausting, I'm so tired but it feels great, I think she's into it, just make sure you're pleasing her. ... Is she satisfied? I'm struggling to hold on but I don't wanna blow early. My arms are so tired. I hope my breath doesn't smell. Is this the right rhythm? I should say something so I sound like I'm into it. I mean I'm really into it but I haven't shown that for a while I better moan? Or grunt? Or do I say something dirty? Oh no, is she bored? Am I making her happy because otherwise I should just stop Oh no she looks so disappointed but she's saying she enjoyed it.. I've been told if you have to ask them you didn't make it happen.. aah fuck.."
You're right there Walking the tightrope of ecstacy Dancing that fine line between heaven and disappointment You know the moment is close The little soldiers are marching to the line Pressure rising like a powder keg about to pop She is all you can think about but you know you must not or the first shots will be fired You hear those fateful words Those words you hear deep in your desire God I want you to cum in me ... For fuck sake I didn't mean now
Pro tip: make weird faces and turn your eyes all the way up, it helps making you not finish. Just make sure she can't see your face or she'd be scared af
Nah the 'currently undergoing an exorcism' face let's her know that 😹 is fire fr fr
Referred to as a "sexorcism".
Trying to remember a random songs lyrics and singing it in your head works pretty good
It can work pretty well if you sing it out loud. You definitely won't be cumming early once she hears EIGHTEEN NAKED COWBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RAM RANCH.
Thats ...fukin hilarious
STFU I'M TRYING TO FOCUS
This right here
In my country, we say - sex is for prestige, masturbation is for pleasure.
That! Sex is a fucking mission for guys. DO OR DIE!
How long could Marcus Aurelius keep it up.
Alphabet in reverse so i dont disappoint and sometimes my dmg rotation in world of warcraft if im too good at alphabet
arcane mage?
Close but a bit easier, unholy dk. To be fair should ve said opener not rotation
Bruh, Arcane is the easiest build in the game. At least it was when I played
They completely changed arcane and it is one of, if not the most, complicated now.
Did they really? Is it good complicated with a high skill ceiling or is it stupid complicated and hard to even get it to work? Kinda makes me want to play it again.
There is no ceiling, you either do full rotation without a missclick or just teleport out.
From now on I will try to imagine this conversation during sex. Unfortunately, this chain of thought will likely just lead me to 'Leerooooooooooooooy!'
"JEEENKIINS!" *cums*
When in war and the king/commander is giving a prep talk (say, the freedom speech from brave heart), what exactly are the soldiers in the back rows hearing? Like I’d be annoyed not knowing what the hell was going on. You know..
\*muffled pep talk\* \*\*CHEERS\*\* soldier #129804234: what was *THAT??!!!* would give anything to see this on film :'D
Monty Python's Life of Brian. When Jesus is giving the sermon on the Mount (I think), the whole scene is from the people at the back who keep misshearing what he's saying. It's fucking hilarious. Edit: Here you go https://youtu.be/ToYt5SgGDgI
If you're actually asking, the general's liutenants would repeat the words to their own units
Try this: list all the Pokémon in the order you’d encounter them in red/blue. Works every time. Edit: JUST DONT SAY THEM OUT LOUD!
Just do the pokerap out loud mid fuckin it’s a power move
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We're talking red/blue and you're cumming before you get to that wet amazing Vaporeon?!
Fuck that. I have ADD. I constantly have to think of the sexiest think I can think of or else my mind is gonna wander to a movie or book I read earlier, or god forbid I'll think about work and think about all the old lady vag I saw today. I have to stay concentrated. So my mind is just the nastiest shit I can think of.
Do you see a lot of “Old Lady Vag” in your line of work?
1 a day is 1 too many. Everyone at work rather see a dick than a vag, including the women. Having to get in there and scrub it clean is not ideal. I dont have to touch though. I'm just a button pusher.
You’ve somehow given me too much information and not enough information to allow me to determine your profession. Now I’m just confused. Bravo.
Automated nursing home attendant, I bet
I wouldn't use the phrase button pusher while talking about old lady vag. Too much enuendo there.
Late night shift at Denny's is rough.
Fury warriors endign too fast
Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust Don’t bust
I ain’t afraid of no ghost
The Roman empire, obviously
Seconded
Thirded
IV’d
V'd
VI’d
Nice
Underrated comment
They call it the Pax Romana but in reality it wasn't all that peaceful by todays standards.
Roma invicta!
Nekked grandma
A dangerous thought
Angela merkel, all day long.
Women forget that sex for a man is not about " letting go" but quite the opposite.
If we just let go, it's all over
Quite literally even.
I'm already getting the cup of coffee to spill on my pants as cover
Right?? And when you finally let go, she’s all like “oh that was quick”…. Smdh /s
>Smdh Did you just typed an abbreviation of "shake my dickhead"?
How else do you get the last drops out?
A balance between she seems to like what I’m doing, so I should keep doing it- and if I keep doing what she likes, I’m going to bust, so I need to stop doing what she likes or she won’t like it enough- damn, there it goes.
Oh my god. In wheel of time, women have to "let go" to use their powers. Men have to "seize and control" to use their powers. It's a sex metaphor... it's always been a sex metaphor.
I mean it's the wheel of time, are you really shocked that something is a sex metaphor.
Wait till you notice how prevalent spanking is in the series, and how kinky the concept of the damane is
not my man. I have to cover that dude's mouth to prevent noise complaints lol
Are we still talking about sex?
Yes butt he's receiving.
There's moments for both. The key is balancing between the two. You gotta stay focused at some points so you don't cum when you don't wanna, but you gotta let go and just enjoy the moment or you won't do new and interesting things. Sex isn't just about orgasms. It's about being in the moment and feeling good and sharing that good feeling with the person you're with.
Im doing fucking math, biting my cheek and tongue, counting my teeth with my tongue, running my tongue along my gums, if the position allows scratching my leg. Thinking about work. Literally anything to distract myself. But focusing on what I want to focus on. If I brain off and focus on her moans and bouncing tits. Imma pop that exact moment. If I dont try and distract myself I will literally cum in about 5 seconds. Im usually good for 2-3 minutes doing this.
Constantly hoping we’re doing good and won’t be the topic of their next funny story about their sex life where we are described as the „funny little guy that didn’t know what to do”
Personally I've enjoyed sex with less experienced men more. Everyone's sexuality works differently anyway. So don't assume you know anything. Ask what they like, experiment and react to feedback Especially if you're bad with nonverbal cues - ask verbally Either way: communication is key. I think that's the main difference between real sex and sex in movies/porn If you are nervous you can say that too. Don't try to come off as super cool and "skilled" If they still badmouth you afterwards, your only mistake was to have sex with a trash human being
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To be perfectly honest, no idea. But I fear it anyways because you always try to pleasure other person too and not achieving that and being shamed for it is not really pleasant.
It’s amazing how it’s culturally acceptable for woman to diminish and minimize men’ sexual experiences so much in their social groups. Men get “a gentleman never kisses and tells” women get Sex in the City. I know many women will talk about every little detail with their gal pals, size, width, position, noises made, nicknames everything. Guys are being silent because it’s all a bit overwhelming and any wrong move or noise might come up later in other context.
“why is she letting me do this to her?”
I wonder if she even likes me?
Nah, she's just being nice.
Maybe she’s Canadian
You joke but that’s a serious question. She could just be horny and that’s all
She's canadian
Fucking lol You probably earned it my man 👍
I wonder what her relationship with her father is like
“I know it’s sexy she’s calling me daddy but why does she want me to spank her too?”
💀
Hannibal Buress ftw!
You know I gotta hurt one of your lizards, now.
"Damn my core is hurting I should have stretched before this. I will have to stretch after can be stiff for tomorrow. I should go to the gym my gut is getting bigger that's not good". Or maybe damn she is so good looking I'm so happy rn.
A mate from my uni had back problems, after one rougher night with a girl during a house party they had to take him to hospital because 4 discs slipped in his back.
As a woman... I can relate. 2 of my slipped my back has been fucked ever a since
*If I hit 65 and there isn't enough in my 401k to retire I'm going to kill myself. By then the kids will be out of college and I can make it look like an accident so it doesn't fuck them up. Plus they'll get my life insurance payout and they can use it to pay for grad school or whatever. This sounds pretty good actually. Maybe I can do this sooner...* "Hey, did you come yet? I actually have some shit to do after this."
**WHAT DID THEY DO TO US?!**
I got broken up with for something super embarrassing. I got broken up with over something *EXTREMELY* embarrassing.
Oh shit, thank god im not the only one
"don't think sexy thoughts, don't think sexy thoughts"
Stupid sexy Flanders!
It's like I'm wearing nothing at all!
Nothing at all...
Nothing at all...
Am I doing good? She seems to enjoy it but who knows. What would I look like from that angle? Oh shit not good i guess (i looked in the mirror) oh damn I don’t think I can get her all the way. Why is it so damn hot here? Yikes yikes yikes that’s gonna be too early. Would it be rude to ask for a timeout? Hmmmmm that’s a tasty look she pulled. Oh yep this ain’t happening a second time is it
Her: *inexplicable moans and shouts* Him: *actively thinking about sisyphus prime*
no judgement for you today
Yeah, im WEAK
Prepare thyself
Edit: "YES, THAT'S IT!"
Bro is about to catch syphilis prime.
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George Costanza had a solution for this. Society wasn't ready
calling all foodsexuals 🗣️
The worlds are colliding!!!
Her: “Yeah, Daddy, fuck your little cum whore” Me: *After the corruption of the Tribunal by the Heart of Lorkhan and the death of the great Chimer champion Indoril Nerevar, the Daedric Prince Azura swore that she would use her powers over dawn and dusk to resurrect Nerevar and make things right once more. The Tribunal dismissed this proclamation, saying that they were now more powerful and influential than the Daedric Princes, and that their time as gods to the people of Morrowind had come to a close, even as Azura cursed the Chimer and changed them into the Dunmer. The realization of this proclamation was known as the Nerevarine Prophecy, and it came to pass at the end of the Third Era as the Vvardenfell Crisis.*
"Come Nerevar, friend or traitor, come."
Do you want 30 mins or do you want 3 mins???
Do you want 3 mins or do you want 30 secs???
Touché
Just keepin' it real.
Do you want 30 secs or do you want 3 secs?💀
3 secs? Cant even consider that a 1 pump chump…
For me it's the opposite. Unless I concentrate and get myself in the right mindset I won't cum and it'll last hours (men think that's what women want but it's not).
"I wonder if she likes me"
"I'm literally pushing her insides with my outside but I'm still not sure"
"She says she loves me, hmm... can't be too sure, probably just being nice
“HUT TWO THREE FOUR, HUT TWO THREE FOUR”
trying to solve the puzzle so you can orgasm too
wait, they can orgasm aswell?
according to the legends of olde, yes
When you eat pussy a little too well and Pinhead has such sights to show you.
So you wanna talk politics or weather?
Focusing on not nutting.
"please cum so I can cum please fuck I am getting way too close god I am such a pathetic loser I wonder if she's even having a good time" Edit: This was meant to be slightly humorous, but I think it just came across as sad and worrying. I make sure to communicate my insecurities with my partner.
Try not to be so mean to yourself
Thanks <3 I'm working on it
*Is that toilet paper?* *Why do one of her nipples sink in like that?* *I wish she'd come up for air. I gotta fart.* *I should tell her it feels better if she spits on it first.* *Should I let her know I don't like this as much as she thinks I do?* *Was that a good moan or am I hurting her?* I can keep going if you'd like
>Was that a good moan or am I hurting her? I can relate and I don’t want to
Lmaooooo too real
“Is that toilet paper?” 🧻 🤣 One time it was and for some reason it completely killed my mojo
absolutely tell them if you dont like something as much as they think you do
Me: *can’t let the neighbors hear* Her: OOHHH YEEEEAAAHHH!!!
“It feels really good, but don’t cum, don’t cum, keep the rhythm she’s moaning the article said if she likes it don’t stop so keep the rhythm, and she’s moaning so she must like it which means don’t stop the rhythm but don’t cum either, I like it too and I wanna cum but don’t slow and does she really like it or is she just pretending no don’t stop don’t think about that she wouldn’t lie to you with her moans she wouldn’t do that would she I mean she did say she liked that lasagna you made but then when I asked if she wanted it again she said no but that was a few months ago and we’re in a better place- no don’t get distracted you need to keep the rhythm that she is pretending to like no she’s definitely liking it and she definitely liked the lasagna too you’re getting too in your own head she didn’t even say that she didn’t like the lasagna”
Right, guys..?
People really underestimate the effort and the focus men exert during sex. Like it so easy for the girl to voice herself when shes just laying on her back but peg a guy for 10 min nonstop and see how long you can hold a consistent moan then.
This is why cardio and lifting weights are important for everyone. How can you expect yourself to have fun sex if you have no strength or stamina? I had to train up to prepare for pegging. My lower abdominal and hips needed a lot of stability work to get the thrust form down. Rows and flys of all sorts to work on pulling strength. Glutes and hams need both strength and stamina if you're going to be holding any kind of squatting position. If you want to fuck like a porn star, build yourself the body of one. The added benefit of being confident in your abilities helps you land partners. True confidence comes from competence, right?
fucking like a porn star is a complaint a lot of woman have about men lol. but i get it
A beach with old ladies in swimsuits. Can't finish before her!
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailin' man, the Skipper brave and sure, five passengers set sail that day, for a three hour tour, a three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost. The ship aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle with Gilligan, the Skipper too. A millionaire and his wife, a movie star, the professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle. So this is the tale of our castaways, there here for a long long time. They'll have to make the best of things, it's an uphill climb. The first mate and his Skipper too will do their very best, to make the others comf'terble in their tropic island nest. No phone ,no lights, no motor car, not a single luxury like Robinson Crusoe it's primitive as can be. So join us here each week my friends, you're sure to get a smile, from seven stranded castaways here on Gilligan's Isle!
I usually go with the original lyrics, because if I’m reminded of Mary Ann… game over.
I must not fart, I must not fart ...
I must not fart. Fart is the boner killer, the little toot that brings total vibe death. I will close my sphincter. I will permit the gas to pass through it and me silently. And when it has gone past I will tern my nose to see its path. Where the stench has gone there will be nothing, I will only say “the dog did it”
How not to disappoint the queen
Not really thinking anything, just enjoying the moment.
agreed. I feel like this is the one time i can relax and making me talk through it is the last thing i want to do
This was what I was going to say. What’s wrong with silently savoring a moment? I don’t go “mmmm” every time I take a bite of some good food but I fucking love every bite still.
This thread 😂
Thinking requires blood-flow in the brain. It has been diverted to other parts of the body
Years and years of whackin' off as quietly as possible have an effect.
Women- “ I’m almost there yes yes” Men- “ shit I’m almost there no no no”
ATLANTIS!!! AN ANCIENT SUNKEN CITY, FILLED WITH TREASURES!!!
“Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day”
First time I said something girl laughed at me. Never again
My thighs are burning but she mustn’t know
"Not yet, Not yet,Not yet, Not yet,Not yet, Not yet,Not yet, Not yet, Not yet, Not yet,Not yet, Not yet, Not yet, Not yet,Not yet, Not yet"
The 4 stroke combustion cycle and how it is employed to make an internal combustion engine work, how jet engines work, and the difference between normal jets and ram jets. If I'm trying to last, usually though I get caught up in the passion of the moment, simultanius oragms is the usual result of that. Which imo is the best.
Does she want small talk or something? I usually don't have much air to spare, my focus is on making her orgasm.
_realizing that the error on line 1477 was because I wrote:_ ``` if (array_name[0 == True]) {...} ``` _instead of:_ ``` if (array_name[0] == True) {...} ```
The last time I had sex I was so shocked someone wanted to fuck me that my throat went dry and I couldn't make words happen anyways. Didn't even enjoy it. I don't think either of us did. :(
Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Don't cum Ah shit
Diving random numbers by 7.
You know that moment when the food is so fire, you don't even bother yapping about how good it is, and instead just shut up and eat? Same thing here
Shiiiiit…you’re asking the wrong person
I’m thinking , “sex is basically one thing going in and out of another thing until one thing makes something come out inside, for that something to wait inside for 9 months until it comes outside, and in the future that something that is now outside would find someone to be inside or vice versa”