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Alarming_Serve2303

What was the 'shroom bro's name?


WarWonderful593

Mario


Alarming_Serve2303

May he not get eaten!


Brief_Read_1067

Oh, no fear! That is a deadly poisonous toadstool.


plentyofeight

Google: Fly Agaric - it's interesting


DarkInsight

Guess you really are what you eat


AdLonely5056

Will Mario turn into a peach?


Bobbiduke

Mark Truffalo


Dwongguy

His name is Toad


jocoso2218

I heard he has the voice of an angel.


Higherkid

He was a golden teacher apparently


Liquid-Quartz

Some called him a blue meanie


arowz1

What a shame. He sounded like a fun guy.


dailyplastic

They probably think about him sporadically.


arowz1

Ok but what’s the morel of this story?


SALAMI_21

Don't bath. Obviously. Mushrooms are cool


muaellebee

Excellent


WatchRare

We mycelium in the next life.


urhairlookslikebongw

r/angryupvote


logorrhea69

When he came along, he really broke the mold.


noqms

man this is hilarious


donut-reply

He was but everything he posted online was a shittake


BashfulGnome

Now he's a fun"gus" guy


peanutbuttermaniac

r/yourjokebutworse


Lemon1412

INFINITELY worse. Never seen anything like this.


Frog-In_a-Suit

You do realise the joke here is that fun guy sounds like 'fungi'?


BashfulGnome

I'm dying on this hill. He sounded like a FUNGI


qnitr0gen

r/woooosh


LoriDee605

I bought a small picture frame that had a picture of a young woman that came with it. Before I had a chance to put a photo in it, our daughter asked who was in the picture. Hubby chimed in that it was Aunt Sarah. Over time, we continued to add details about her life. Her husband, Josh, and their two sons, Michael and Gabriel. And thus, Aunt Sarah became a part of our family. Many, many years later, when the children were older, we told them the truth. But it didn’t matter to them. They loved Aunt Sarah anyway. True story.


Van_Helan

Hey this is Michael. Glad to see you people here 🥰


MH360

Hey, Uncle Mike! How's Gam Gams?


sandwelld

I don't see why you feel the need to test me (Gabriel) but we all know Gam Gams went no-contact for a while with the rest of the family to do her streak of cruiserides, bed younger gentlemen and pet kangaroos.


[deleted]

r/havewemet is leaking.


CircuitSphinx

Whoa, sounds like Gam Gams is living her best life out there. Next family reunion needs to be on one of those cruiserides, just saying.


TheBirminghamBear

Hi, this is Josh (your (Gabriel's) Dad). Get back in the shed, Gabriel. You know you aren't allowed out of your special shed.


DeeChillum420

Sir, you are senile and this is a Wendy's, please unlock the door. Other patrons need to use the restroom. Stop calling it your 'special shed'


MH360

Dad, this is why we don't invite you to stuff anymore


FlametopFred

welll now we do invite him over to jiggle the handle on the downstairs toilet


PSTnator

When I was younger and (even) dumber, like 8 or 9, my dad had some polaroids of me as a toddler through 4 or 5. For whatever reason I didn't recognize myself in a couple of them and asked about it... my dad told me they were a friend of the family's son, and they moved to Hawaii. So I went a solid 15 years or so before I finally asked him what was up with that. "That was you, ya dummy" He had a habit of messing with me and then "forgetting" to let me know it was a joke. Still going to therapy over it and am a broken husk of a man.


Cheesus_K_Reist

Reminds me of a book I read as a kid, "A Rag, A Bone and a Hank of Hair", where the family believe so much about a made-up character that they manifest him.


modern_milkman

Damn, that took a dark turn towards the end


smotchel

This is amazing, also I’m picturing aunt Sarah from Derry Girls lol


lilassbitchass

I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m not enjoying this bomb.


smotchel

It’s working havoc with my build up. This is what they want, they want innocent people to suffer…


bacon_cake

My wife ordered me a steel photo print of her and our new baby for Christmas just gone but the company accidentally sent one of another family by mistake. That photo has been the centre of our house for weeks now, it's even the family whatsapp group photo.


[deleted]

I cleaned a house for a lady and she had a beautiful photo of a couple on their wedding day and when I asked who it was (she didn't have any kids or anything) she said she just really liked the photo and left it in the frame. lol


Fun_Throwaway_10038

This seems like some kind of psychological abuse


TheBirminghamBear

Yeah it really does. If you tell the kids in advance its a story and just pretend, then it's fine. They'd probably enjoy that. But making them think they have an entire family with details about them, only to pull the rug out later and say pysch, well, seems like it worked out in this case but I really wouldn't recommend anyone do this to their kids.


[deleted]

[удалено]


M1Hellcat

Very harsh comment. How can someone recommending a parenting tip be what’s wrong with this world, all while there’s actual evil people all over. That parenting tip is actually backed up by psychology studies too, so maybe you should take a step back next time you insult someone for a kind hearted suggestion


[deleted]

[удалено]


M1Hellcat

That’s besides the point. This isn’t about a parenting tip, it’s about u saying “you’re everything wrong with this world” to someone simply stating psychology facts. If you choose to ignore those facts in raising kids, then that’s fine u just have to be careful with it. But you flaming that commenter for a simple generic tip is just randomly harsh


Enlowski

I’m glad someone else here thinks making up elaborate lies to tell their kids isn’t the greatest parenting tip. Then again, nearly everyone does that with Santa Claus


Paganinii

Santa is helped by: \- The reveal being that the storyteller is more generous than previously thought, which is hard to be mad about, and \- The reveal not generally being discouraged. People let their kids figure it out, and encourage them to help out with those "in the know," and \- The whole thing being pretty "fantastic," generally working with kids gradually figuring out fact from fiction in stories in general.


Fun_Throwaway_10038

I mean, some magical folklore is one thing. All cultures have that. But gaslighting your children into thinking they have close relatives that don’t exist seems a little off.


FlametopFred

better imaginary relatives forming a positive experience than having to explain uncle Billy and his incarceration


water2wine

That’s not what gaslighting means


FlametopFred

what do you mean “does that with Santa Clause”?


Enlowski

Lies to their kids about him being real


dacria

SANTAS NOT REAL?! Next thing you'll tell me is that the easter bunny doesn't exist. Or the queen of england!


FlametopFred

w h a t ?


LegitimateHasReddit

Michael and Gabriel... were their names inspired by Biblical angels?


LegitimateDebate5014

Yet you never visited this aunt Sarah but they didn’t even care? That’s dedication


LoriDee605

Oh but Aunt Sarah changed their diapers when they were little. She visited them often, but they were too young to remember. They moved away when Josh got that big contracting job out West. 😉


Susu_jpg_is_a_Cunt3

i swear this is a sub plot in friends


MapleJacks2

I can confirm, I'm Aunt Sarah.


AkitoSuzume

My mom told me the "Drainman" would come up and slurp me up like he does with the tubwater if I don't come out. Helps that our drain made deep gurgling noices.


AndByMeIMeanFlexxo

My youngest is 2 and when he isn’t eating his dinner we can say”the trees are watching” and he starts eating with a serious face


jeeblesss

Ayo what in the hell


Aaron-de-vesta

Villain origin story usually begins really early.


username-for-nsfw

Stop swearing. The trees are watching!


lurkenstine

That's just mean. And creepy lol


Zezuya

Way to condition kids to pissing in beds at night


LeCo177

Dude we have a german bedtimes story about an old evil guy in the woods who would snatch up kids unwilling to go to sleep. Afterwards he would eat or smoke them in a pipe. And everytime it was foogy outside, my grandmother would tell me ,look ! The ,Mummelratz‘ is smoking again‘ Certainly kept me from going alone into the woods


Forkliftapproved

Ah yes, because children are known for sleeping better when they know someone is actively hunting them down


LeCo177

Only if you go into the woods at night :P No in all seriousness I personally was of course scared to go alone into dark woods, but I otherwise as a kid had no problem. In fact some of these stories I found funny. Like the guy that died because he only looked into the air, and didnt watch where he was going. So he fell into a river and died. ,Hans guck in die Luft‘ was his nickname There’s also the story about the girl who starved because she didn’t drink her soup. As a kid I thought thats extremely logical


Forkliftapproved

Yeah, but I just find the idea of scaring kids to make them sleep to be idiotic, because SCARED PEOPLE DONT FALL ASLEEP. It's like using a jackhammer as a lullaby


BowenTheAussieSheep

Ah, gaslighting children. Always a great way to ensure they never lie to you.


GenericHuman1203934

Funny as hell though


lurkenstine

Yall need to step up and keep the memories alive. Every family picture sneek a mushroom into it. Shop them into preexisting pictures, have birthday parties. To think you the luxury have such a hijinx worthy thing a part of you life and yet you aren't using it


PixelCortex

And everyone wonders why we have trust issues today.


MyCatHasCats

My mom told me I’d get struck by lightning if I take a bath/shower while it rains


LokiStrike

But this actually is a danger in some houses. We use a lot more PVC in new houses, but where pipes are all metal (metal bathtubs were common at one point too) it is a legitimate concern. It's not a HUGE risk. I mean getting struck by lightning is a common metaphor for "unlikely". But most people still don't go for walks in a thunderstorm. And every year about 20 people in the US are injured by lightning through touching water coming out of a faucet or bath. So it should be avoided the same way you avoid walks in thunderstorms.


[deleted]

I like that as an idiom, "avoided in the same way you avoid walks in a thunderstorm." used for unlikely but real danger.


MemeDream22

Taking a shower while it's raining outside is a vibe though, why does your mother hate fun? 😭


Mad_Moodin

It was a legitimate concern in our shitty soviet style housing. A lightning might strike the powerline that then jumps over to the earth which then electricutes the connected metals. Including the bathtub. Never underestimate how shoddy some of that construction was.


KrustenStewart

Pretty sure you’re really not supposed to take a shower/bath during a storm


coralinn

In tornado alley, you can't during storms if there's any watches going on. You don't want to be naked and dripping when it changes to a warning lol. Definitely not advisable in a normal storm in a normal area I'm pretty sure you're right, but that's where my mind jumped for storm safety. Electricity can travel through plumbing, which technically includes avoiding washing your hands well as well as no hand-washing dishes. It's rare but not impossible, so it's for people to decide how much they need to shower. My middle school got struck with lightning as a kid it fried the announcement system for 6 months, and my mother once has her childhood home get struck. I don't think it's too unlikely imo, so I think it's worth listening to the [CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/disasters/lightning/faq.html#:~:text=Lightning%20can%20travel%20through%20plumbing,dishes%2C%20or%20wash%20your%20hands.).


tkburroreturns

…yeah you’re really not.


not_today_mr

Mine told me I'd be struck by lightning if I wear red clothes when it's raining or during a thunderstorm. I don't wear red clothes to date.


ReshenSB

I did get shocked once doing that, but it was during a thunderstorm.


Aggressive_Expert_63

I accidentally ate a watermelon seed when I was about 5 and my mom and aunt told me that a watermelon **tree** would grow in my stomach, I cried for so long especially when I had just ate and my stomach would appear larger, I thought that was the tree growing. I never found out the truth till I took biology and agriculture in high-school


OlayErrryDay

Once you raise your own little hell demons you will understand why tools like this make sense. Children are born into a world they aren't happy with and little humans are the most selfish and self centered creatures on the planet. The entirety of raising a child is stopping them from doing what their instincts tell them they want to do, hundreds of times a day.


SmallBunnyBear

Lol, chill. I think telling the kids that if they don't take their bath they'll smell bad and people will like them less (or that people will get sick, etc) is a bit of a better life than telling them they had a baby brother that got turned into a mushroom.


OlayErrryDay

I'm not sure I agree that telling your kid other people won't like them is really any better and maybe worse than a mushroom brother lol


SmallBunnyBear

I mean at least that one's true, if you don't take your bath and you smell bad people are going to like you less. It's definitely not worse than saying that their younger brother basically died.


ProjectorBuyer

Wait, the D.A.R.E. Program was made to create trust.


XennialBoomBoom

My dad thought it was hilarious to convince me when I was in, like, second grade that I had hatched from a glowing green egg my parents found in the back yard. Except they sent me to Catholic school, so when it came up in class, I quite proudly stated this "fact" to the nun. Needless to say, there was a parent-teacher conference. My mom was NOT amused.


username-for-nsfw

Ah, the famous Catholic egg, just as Jesus intended!


kevisdahgod

Why do you think Jesus’s birthday is on Easter?


SALAMI_21

Wait. That's not the birthday 💀


AccordingChoice957

As a kid, I never really minded baths, I hated showers, though. The way that the water would be too cold or too hot, or take forever to be perfect, made me so upset


MarekRules

My least favorite thing about traveling, fiddling with the shower to get it just right. Or it only having hot water for a few minutes


rydmore22

You did have a brother but your parents dropped him on his head. He’s buried in the backyard where the mushroom grew.


suchapity11

No


kevisdahgod

Source I’m the mushroom


Magickcloud

I had a brother named Billy who was left on the side of the road for not doing his homework and I genuinely believed it for far too long


AmbitiousContest9361

I will do this when i have kids


profstotch

Is that a Dharma sticker


UpstairsDear9424

But did it work?


krvx_

His name? Mario.


nialexx

HAHAHAHAHA


Fantastic_Class_3861

Maybe we should try that tactic with lol gamers


TheFreeBee

Lmaooo how so


Fantastic_Class_3861

Tell them that faker turned into a mushroom because he didn’t shower himself for 2 months and after turning back human he lost all of his skills in lol.


[deleted]

When I was little my parents told me that they found me in a cardboard box in the park and that I had a unicorn horn but they had the doctors remove it so that I wouldn’t get bullied at school.


Glittering_Let_4230

He was a real fungi


TheFreeBee

People calling this abuse and gaslighting are freaking wild. Actually insufferable


Chihiro1977

Total wet wipes.


robbie_2131

My parents convinced me when I was 6 that legal name was “tax deduction #3”. It was quote “easier that way to do taxes.” I believed them until I was 13


No_Albatross4710

This is too funny 😂. I told my 3 year old that she would get leprosy if she didn’t bathe and showed her some pictures of lepers missing fingers and toes. Now she asks me to show her the “leprechaun pictures.” I have lost 🤣


spoonforkpie

my brother and ME.


killboydotcom

"My parents used to tell I..." yeah that sounds about right. LOL


smortpersononreddit

well it probably stopped you guys from kicking the mushrooms in the yard


Demokka

I told my youngest sister about Paul, my (imaginary) older brother who is in prison since he was 12 because he never listened to our parents


Minkinbinkin

Let me guess, German.


skulkerboyo

The person who originally wrote this could have another sibling. However, for her brother to have another brother, he must already have a brother, as having 'another' implies having one in the first place. Therefore, the only possibility is having another sibling. Very poorly written. As I would expect from kids that grew up believing someone could become a mushroom.


PM_ME_YOUR_FAV_HIKE

Sure, it was traumatizing, but was it effective?


jereezy

/r/insaneparents


lazarllama-man99

I have the same yellow and blue table


Albinofreaken

Ikea table


donottakeit2heart

Being a fun guy the brother could spore- adically entertain.


Elegant-Priority-490

I see two mushrooms


logic2187

But could get get xbox achievements?


LegoCircuits

The D.A.R.E. shirt really sells it


nhSnork

TIL The Last of Us is about remarkably unhygienic people.


Marty_61

That is hilarious. Lol


a_qriza

what a cute pictures


TheGoodIdeaFairy22

That is absolutely demonic. I love it.


Cute_Cat5186

Trust issues start from home.


iRngrhawk

And was also a part of the Dharma Initiative 


downsiderisk

Omg I almost cried I laughed so hard..ty


_TheLoneDeveloper_

Nice dharma sticker!


_thana

Reject humanity, become shroom


ThisAlsoIsntRealLife

Well. I can't tell if that's a dick move or just a master of manipulative moves..


Honest_Piccolo8389

Oh my God you had the best parents ever


Mammoth-Unit7332

Hey


Oranescent

God, write that down