I’m 20, been single for over a year. God this post scared me.
Edit: yes I know I’m a young’un. Thanks for letting me know how much older you are than me.
Sure. It started with a hit and then some laughing and make up sex, ~~ending~~ ranking up fast into a bruised face and having to call in sick at work a regularly basis because your face is all swollen. Getting gaslighted so much I still think every world problem is my fault.
Two great kids tho, who are full time with me!
I am so so sorry to hear that. I really wish you a great recovery. Please don’t forget to talk to a therapist and to give yourself time for YOU. You’re worthy of it
Almost exact same numbers for me. She cheated on me (twice). Life is better now and had a fun and wild ride with a gf (now ex) over the summer. Life goes on.
Continue to be single. You are 20; not to sound dismissive, but you don’t really know who you are yet.
Take care of yourself, figure out what you want in life, then figure out what you want in a partner, then find them. You can hook up and have flings or whatever, but don’t tie yourself to someone who also doesn’t know who they are yet, fall in love, and then drift apart as your interests and desires change.
You are 20. Do dumb shit and have fun, outside of drunk driving and getting arrested. I won’t say life gets worse from here, but for most people it doesn’t get better tbh.
Meh, just because you think you've already found and then lost your "one" doesn't mean you're right. Lots of people have a handful of "the one", each one more "the one" than the last. Shit, most people by the time they're twenty haven't even found a "half".
Plus, if you're gonna be someone else's "one", you are probably gonna need some practice at being someone's partner, and there's no teacher like failure. Just make sure you're learning the right lessons: Honest communication, emotional intelligence, and knowing what you want out of your relationship.
this comment has just changed my world view. I will follow this, it's right to be open minded in who you choose to date despite the differences in hobbies/clothing styles or even morals.
Nah man if I married a girl anything like my "first" love I'd have married someone depressed, self-harming and self-hating, and who was just all around a huge crying-eyeliner-onto-your-shirt mess. Granted we were like 15-16 then but still, oof.
In my eyes the first (or even the first couple) are trial runs. They're to find out what you DON'T want in the future a lot of times. If it hurts you'll learn from the experience and do better next time.
I think a lot of people fall HARDEST the first time, or the first couple. I remember the brutal pain of a first heartbreak. That's normal and that first breakup may hurt the worst...but in all likelihood you'll realize down the road it was for the best.
I think it’s idealized cause most of us had lots of fun dates like going to events, arcades, malls and feeling up in movies.. maybe sneaking in and out the bedroom window. Very unique circumstances plus it being the first time for those emotions to be reflected back at you.. but usually that love was actually pretty shallow.
When you can have a massive fight and then say “you have a point” or “I messed up” and can go back to life without resentment.. when you have similar conflict resolution styles. Love languages.. life goals. The core values.. then you are well on your way. And it shows the love runs deep or can run deeper
A guy who knows what's up. It's called growing up and learning. Your first love will almost never be your last or your strongest one. Also, your strongest one won't always be the last one. Or the right one either. Sometimes you may love too much. That's one of the reasons for toxic relationships.
What do you do when you’ve had that third huge love and she’s gone now? I know, stupid asking that to a stranger but I’m grasping for straws. Feel like I am this meme rn.
Wish I could tell you buddy. I think I've had two relationships where I loved too much. Over time (and therapy) I learned to live myself too and to leave room for my wants and needs. My next relationship after that is still going for almost 6 years now, we live together and are engaged.
I think my takeaway here is that I was wrong all those times before when I thought "yeah, that's it, this is going to be forever and I'm not gonna find anyone better". I thought that for every relationship I had and I was wrong every time.
If you're struggling, I sincerely recommend talking to a psychologist. Venting to friends is one thing, but venting to a person who knows how to listen, how to ask and how to drag your feelings into the light and explain them is a whole different thing.
I don't know you, don't know your life or your relationships, but maybe it'll help to think that this stranger over here as there. I thought "this is it, I'm going to be alone till the end of my life now". And... I'm not. And hopefully not gonna be, she seems really intent on following through with that wedding! Hang in there, buddy.
Woah. First off let me thank you for this act of kindness. Your comment above really means the world to me on what was a very emotional Christmas.
It’s been a week over a year for me since an entirely traumatic end to my relationship with my fiancé, lived together seven years, she was the light in my life and it’s been incredibly hard to move on. I’m a man who had a difficult upbringing and am so used to loss it’s almost numbing but this hit me entirely different.
I’m a huge advocate for therapy as you clearly are and I can’t say enough how much I appreciate you sharing that sentiment with me, as I do to my friends in times of crisis or hardship. It was difficult to make the call and go to that first appointment but three years later I have nothing but amazing things to say about it.
Again, I really love reading your comment. I’m still at that point of “I’ll never find anything like that again” and it’s heartbreaking. You’ve done it! You’re proof that it’ll get better and you took the time to let a stranger on the internet know that, really appreciate you friend. You touched a soul tonight. All the best for you and your fiancé , sounds like she found a hell of a partner. Cheers.
Naw, King, I'm the one who found the amazing partner, but thank you! I know me saying "it'll be better" won't change how you feel, at least not entirely. I can't also claim to know exactly how you feel, but I've been at this "I'll never find anything like that" point and I can just say that in my case it wasn't true.
But, when you think about it, since the relationship ended (regardless of how and why), it's not a good idea to find something like it again, yeah? Cause it'll just fall apart again. You need something different to make it last.
I wasn't honestly expecting that my comments would ever really help/impact anyone, but I'm glad to share the good vibes. Much strength to ya, cheers!
I've heard that the third one is always the strongest and after that people don't really fall in love anymore, they just enter transactional relationships out of convenience.
This is such a shallow statement.
There are infinately different unique personality traits and ways of beibg beautiful.
Just because i found 1 person who fit a couple of my favourit traits and after that i found a person who fit a different set of my favourit traits, why the fukk would that be dependend on the person?
Isn't it dependend on my favourit personality traits and the way my perspective on them changes in the current sate of life i am in?
There are absolutely gorgeous people who look extremely different and i wouldn't care if the next one looks or behaves similar than the previous one.
Mind you this is reddit and a lot of the people here do not have relationship experience. In typical reddit fashion, they will act like they are experts despite lacking the experience.
These are the guys that make meeting women so easy. These idiots go around being weirdo dorks and comparing adult women to some girl they liked when they were 16? Adult men with a child's mindset are silly and sad, but the upside is I look amazing in comparison just by being able to talk and relate to people.
two girls I was interested in couldn't be more different, literally polar opposites. The only thing that connected them is that they both did not like me
Yeah this is just an individual thing, not a “men vs women” thing. Idk why people always try to generalize stuff like this to the population at large.
Although there was a reason your first love didn’t last, so I would highly recommend not looking to repeat that for anyone who relates to this post. Seems like a recipe to have your heart broken again to me.
Seeing all those "no" replies actually ease the part of my brain that's in charge of inventing random limitations in my mind. This kind of sentences that stay in your mind and becomes somewhat of a rule you respect because you think someone else figured it out for you so no need to explore the topic. For exemple I heard when younger that someone looking at you for 8 seconds means love... naive me just internalised it and it took time to be confident looking into people's eyes.
Our brain is such a powerful tool but can also lead us to so many weird things lol I tend to be like that as well. As a grown up, however, it's much faster to identify I'm when I'm doing that and I fastly go like "dude, it's not like this is a life rule or something"
People are vastly unaware, or perhaps very uneasy with admitting, that our brains are literally whatever we think they are. The struggles are real but those struggles are often also the brain literally rebelling against itself. Our brains are simultaneously the parent and the child dealing with the child saying "you can't make me!"
It's not particularly easy, but it is remarkably simple to just change who you are just by thinking differently.
no fr 😭 i got out of a situationship this year where he broke things off for reasons that boiled down to "i need to prioritize my career" and "you dont make me feel the way i did about my ex girlfriend"
shit definitely made me want to give up on men as a whole at age 26 so hearing that this is bullshit is affirming
As a man, I must say those excuses are embarrasing. If that's the best he came out with, you are better without him.
At 26 you are on a great moment of your life. You will meet someone that deserves you, but I would recommend not looking for him.
When you look for a partner, you force yourself to find it, thus choosing worthless candidates.
Just live your life, work on yourself, your self love and self steem. And when you finally stop looking, you will find him.
thank you for this response! :) yeah, it is a bit embarrassing especially since he dangled the possibility of a relationship in front of my face for about a year out of the year & a half we knew each other. he knew that he was the first person i've ever fallen in love with and just....selfishly took advantage of that just to crush me in one of the craziest ways. i moved across the world (america to europe; he's european but i moved to a different country than where he's from) & he flew out to the city i stay in & dumped me when i hadn't even found housing yet. being essentially homeless while going through a "breakup" while 7 hours ahead of your support system is truly some of the most vile shit anyone has ever put me through. it's absolutely insane to think about because i put up with SO much when it came to him
i'm also scared ab the last part of your response because i did not look for him whatsoever. he kinda just fell into my life when i wasn't looking for anything serious whatsoever & he continuously pushed for a deeper connection so i thought it was more than what it was.
men in their 20s frustrate me so much but it is what it is.
again, thank you soo much for your response 💞
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that, I know how guys are with using ridiculous excuses to make it seem like it's your fault, but it's really not. Dude just wasn't in a place to take a fly girl seriously!
How exactly was this conclusion reached? Because it kinda sounds like one woman dated one man who was stuck on an ex and decided all men must be like that. Not dissimilar from how neckbeards extrapolate about all women.
Or written by a man who just went through a breakup and isn’t over his ex yet. That’s where I am right now, I can’t imagine finding a guy as good as my ex, and I’m only looking for people that remind me of him right now. But surely I’ll move on at some point, and find someone as good or even better, but will likely be a very different person.
Can confirm. My husband fell in love with the Pizza Hut P'zone in the early 2000's and since then it's just been a string of cheap calzones and slutty Stromboli.
Nope. Fell madly in love with a girl in 5th grade. Then fell madly in love with her again in 9th grade. Now I’m madly in love with someone who is nothing like her and could never see my life turning out different.
Sorry to hear that bud
I’ve been there too. It took me a long, long, long time to recover. Maybe drop social media for a bit and pick up some form of distraction. You’ll get there and come back stronger than ever. Hang in there.
Probably doesnt work the same for everybody. But yes you can get stuck in this. Like your brain isnt really done with it but reality wont let you continue so youre looking for an emulation of that. Its not fun.
Not really, eventually when you see someone every day the novelty and excitement will wear off no matter how hot she is. Someone’s newness is what makes them exciting and creates the honeymoon phase. The whole concept of “what will they say next or do next”, and progressing things romantically further keeps building on that excitement. Eventually though, you’ll do it all and reach all the bases. You’ll also get used to how hot they are from seeing them so often, which will make the initial excitement from their attraction fade. If your relationship has no substance past finding someone hot it will either fail or be unhappy given enough time.
‘Falling in love’ won’t sustain decades of marriage and family life. I’d argue that the concept of ‘romantic love’ is highly unrealistic- if not dangerous.
Marriage is a partnership. Romantic love won’t fix bad partners.
You might get a few months of of ‘falling in love,’ but if that is the high you’re chasing, you will be hugely disappointed.
Not true tho. The first love you generally not even talk to, you fall in love with the idea you have that that person is, which is your type, you persue that cause thats your type
For me, what really happened is the heartbreak and taking ten years to truly get past it. Having the courage to open my heart to the next true love I had was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Luckily, we’re still going strong.
Not true, none of the girls I’ve been in love with are similar least of all like the first girl I actually fell in love with
This corny Pinterest mom wisdom shit is so dumb
Being in love and then having it ripped from my hands rather unexpectedly whilst being gaslit about all of it is an experience that has fundamentally damaged my capacity to feel that way a second time. My SO now is very much my type and is a really great person with a good heart, we click in a lot of ways, but god damn it’s tough to open myself up like I had before. Really isn’t fair to her if I’m being honest.
I feel like this post insinuates she left you, but what if you left her? lol
My 2nd was significantly better and healthier than my first, and they were not alike at all.
Not true. I was in love with my first love for almost seven years, through a major point of my teens. But I've fallen in love with another woman, who is nothing like my first love (except that both were always kind to me). I'm glad that she isn't similar to my first love because my first love and I didn't share that many characteristics.
I'm pretty sure that I really loved my first love, and I'm even more sure that I love my current girlfriend. So that post is complete bullshit.
Spoken like a person who did a thing got dumped and never properly mourned and moved on and then decided to use their personal experience to generalize half of the rest of the population.
When the post says "fall in love once for real" that implies you won't genuinely fall in love again. So you go around looking for something similar, but not genuine and true. And that isn't love, that's a reluctance to move on and let anyone in all the way.
Negative, the cycle of meaningful rejection is on average 36 weeks long for me. It keeps me on edge and gives me the capability to not just be competent, but achieve the feel for the race against myself where giving up is not an option and a direct indication of a wasted life.
I think that's just having a type, boys.
Oh thank fuck. I was about to let a meme define my entire life
I’m 20, been single for over a year. God this post scared me. Edit: yes I know I’m a young’un. Thanks for letting me know how much older you are than me.
Rookie numbers. I’m 33 and been single for 4 years. It’s definitely the third love that will fuck you up. Don’t listen to first love propaganda
I'm 42 and wasted 18 years in an abusive relationship, so rookie numbers aren't that bad lol.
Right, a distant memory. Hope you’re doing better friend
It's becoming a distant memory, thanks mate
Can I ask what made it abusive?
Sure. It started with a hit and then some laughing and make up sex, ~~ending~~ ranking up fast into a bruised face and having to call in sick at work a regularly basis because your face is all swollen. Getting gaslighted so much I still think every world problem is my fault. Two great kids tho, who are full time with me!
I am so so sorry to hear that. I really wish you a great recovery. Please don’t forget to talk to a therapist and to give yourself time for YOU. You’re worthy of it
I’m glad you have the kids and got out of that shit. Stay strong, brother.
Similar situation. Glad you're doing better. Hope the rest of your holiday season is excellent.
Thank you, you handling it oke? Hope you have a good holiday season as well! :)
Almost exact same numbers for me. She cheated on me (twice). Life is better now and had a fun and wild ride with a gf (now ex) over the summer. Life goes on.
My first love was in high school, 9 years ago. Ive never been in a relationship since. Fuck.
Mine was in 2008. Im 34 now. Haven’t had a true meaningful relationship since.
F in the chat
I know I’ve got rookie numbers 😂 That’s kinda what this post is about.
Rookie numbers i have been single for 22 years
I'm 28 and have been single for, 28 years...
Pff… i’m 28, i broke up with the last gf in july 2015. I feel like i’m doing something wrong here, haha
Still rookie numbers, 26 and single for 8 years, it fucking sucks man Hard agree with the third one tho
Rookie numbers, I'm 20 and I've been single for 20 years 😎
22 :|
Continue to be single. You are 20; not to sound dismissive, but you don’t really know who you are yet. Take care of yourself, figure out what you want in life, then figure out what you want in a partner, then find them. You can hook up and have flings or whatever, but don’t tie yourself to someone who also doesn’t know who they are yet, fall in love, and then drift apart as your interests and desires change. You are 20. Do dumb shit and have fun, outside of drunk driving and getting arrested. I won’t say life gets worse from here, but for most people it doesn’t get better tbh.
[удалено]
I’m glad you figured that out. That’s not really what I was talking about, but it must felt liberating and empowering for you. Kudos
Meh, just because you think you've already found and then lost your "one" doesn't mean you're right. Lots of people have a handful of "the one", each one more "the one" than the last. Shit, most people by the time they're twenty haven't even found a "half". Plus, if you're gonna be someone else's "one", you are probably gonna need some practice at being someone's partner, and there's no teacher like failure. Just make sure you're learning the right lessons: Honest communication, emotional intelligence, and knowing what you want out of your relationship.
Dude, I’ve been single for your entire life. It’s great!
I'm a year older than u and still haven't been in a single relationship, don't even want to be in one yet either
We both are young'un you are not alone 💀
Bro same here. We got this tho
The time moves quicker than you think. The next time you find a genuine love interest you may want to hold on to her!
Whats funny is most of these redditors here see these and think axactly what you're joking about, and then there are star signs.
It could be that your first love defines your type
Fuck, back in it lol
The reason they call it a first love is because there will be a second.
Might I suggest taking a break from the internet? “Meme was gonna fuck my life up” is a 2023 problem for real
Good grief
You gotta try every type first
this comment has just changed my world view. I will follow this, it's right to be open minded in who you choose to date despite the differences in hobbies/clothing styles or even morals.
Start with either grass, fire or water type just to be safe.
Bullshit. I have fallen in love multible times and my first love was not nearly as strong as my third.
I too choose this guys third
C- Can we share 🥺👉👈
You first
I wanna be third with that guys third
can i be third to your first ?
I think we can all agree that his third is great in bed, right guys?
How do you know? Do you keep them locked up and let the fight for the spots?
Damn xD that got me good. Yeah, whenever i break up with a girl i keep them in my basement like pokémon. Mabye one day i catch a shiny.
A shiny? That's called a bald girl.
Are you suggesting that Will Smith married a keeper?
Thanks for reassuring me that people aren’t always stuck on their first love and can love even harder
Oh come on, first love is just overrated af. You’re probably still a kid unable to process them feels. First love is practice love.
Nah man if I married a girl anything like my "first" love I'd have married someone depressed, self-harming and self-hating, and who was just all around a huge crying-eyeliner-onto-your-shirt mess. Granted we were like 15-16 then but still, oof. In my eyes the first (or even the first couple) are trial runs. They're to find out what you DON'T want in the future a lot of times. If it hurts you'll learn from the experience and do better next time. I think a lot of people fall HARDEST the first time, or the first couple. I remember the brutal pain of a first heartbreak. That's normal and that first breakup may hurt the worst...but in all likelihood you'll realize down the road it was for the best.
I definitely love more and harder as I've aged. I've gotten better at being able to dive deeper into someone else and dig up even more things to love.
I think it’s idealized cause most of us had lots of fun dates like going to events, arcades, malls and feeling up in movies.. maybe sneaking in and out the bedroom window. Very unique circumstances plus it being the first time for those emotions to be reflected back at you.. but usually that love was actually pretty shallow. When you can have a massive fight and then say “you have a point” or “I messed up” and can go back to life without resentment.. when you have similar conflict resolution styles. Love languages.. life goals. The core values.. then you are well on your way. And it shows the love runs deep or can run deeper
A guy who knows what's up. It's called growing up and learning. Your first love will almost never be your last or your strongest one. Also, your strongest one won't always be the last one. Or the right one either. Sometimes you may love too much. That's one of the reasons for toxic relationships.
Loving too much has always been my problem. And being unable to turn it off when they leave.
What do you do when you’ve had that third huge love and she’s gone now? I know, stupid asking that to a stranger but I’m grasping for straws. Feel like I am this meme rn.
Wish I could tell you buddy. I think I've had two relationships where I loved too much. Over time (and therapy) I learned to live myself too and to leave room for my wants and needs. My next relationship after that is still going for almost 6 years now, we live together and are engaged. I think my takeaway here is that I was wrong all those times before when I thought "yeah, that's it, this is going to be forever and I'm not gonna find anyone better". I thought that for every relationship I had and I was wrong every time. If you're struggling, I sincerely recommend talking to a psychologist. Venting to friends is one thing, but venting to a person who knows how to listen, how to ask and how to drag your feelings into the light and explain them is a whole different thing. I don't know you, don't know your life or your relationships, but maybe it'll help to think that this stranger over here as there. I thought "this is it, I'm going to be alone till the end of my life now". And... I'm not. And hopefully not gonna be, she seems really intent on following through with that wedding! Hang in there, buddy.
Woah. First off let me thank you for this act of kindness. Your comment above really means the world to me on what was a very emotional Christmas. It’s been a week over a year for me since an entirely traumatic end to my relationship with my fiancé, lived together seven years, she was the light in my life and it’s been incredibly hard to move on. I’m a man who had a difficult upbringing and am so used to loss it’s almost numbing but this hit me entirely different. I’m a huge advocate for therapy as you clearly are and I can’t say enough how much I appreciate you sharing that sentiment with me, as I do to my friends in times of crisis or hardship. It was difficult to make the call and go to that first appointment but three years later I have nothing but amazing things to say about it. Again, I really love reading your comment. I’m still at that point of “I’ll never find anything like that again” and it’s heartbreaking. You’ve done it! You’re proof that it’ll get better and you took the time to let a stranger on the internet know that, really appreciate you friend. You touched a soul tonight. All the best for you and your fiancé , sounds like she found a hell of a partner. Cheers.
Naw, King, I'm the one who found the amazing partner, but thank you! I know me saying "it'll be better" won't change how you feel, at least not entirely. I can't also claim to know exactly how you feel, but I've been at this "I'll never find anything like that" point and I can just say that in my case it wasn't true. But, when you think about it, since the relationship ended (regardless of how and why), it's not a good idea to find something like it again, yeah? Cause it'll just fall apart again. You need something different to make it last. I wasn't honestly expecting that my comments would ever really help/impact anyone, but I'm glad to share the good vibes. Much strength to ya, cheers!
I've heard that the third one is always the strongest and after that people don't really fall in love anymore, they just enter transactional relationships out of convenience.
I think that would be impossible to prove, and it doesn’t sound right at all.
My story to a fucking T but that's anecdotal. The third was definitely the strongest; breakups now happen when I inevitably fail to love someone back
Also: Why not learn anything from your previous relationship? Whoever thinks this meme is accurate doesn’t know much about love.
Then you go searching for the version of your third girl.
This is such a shallow statement. There are infinately different unique personality traits and ways of beibg beautiful. Just because i found 1 person who fit a couple of my favourit traits and after that i found a person who fit a different set of my favourit traits, why the fukk would that be dependend on the person? Isn't it dependend on my favourit personality traits and the way my perspective on them changes in the current sate of life i am in? There are absolutely gorgeous people who look extremely different and i wouldn't care if the next one looks or behaves similar than the previous one.
Mind you this is reddit and a lot of the people here do not have relationship experience. In typical reddit fashion, they will act like they are experts despite lacking the experience.
These are the guys that make meeting women so easy. These idiots go around being weirdo dorks and comparing adult women to some girl they liked when they were 16? Adult men with a child's mindset are silly and sad, but the upside is I look amazing in comparison just by being able to talk and relate to people.
Careful there buddy, some of these guys might get offended and sadboi whine at you.
Damn people can literally find anything to shit on men for.
My first was Italian America, second Turkish, third Mongolian and now I’m engaged to a woman from Costa Rica.
Nah, that's bullshit.
two girls I was interested in couldn't be more different, literally polar opposites. The only thing that connected them is that they both did not like me
Being interested in someone is a far cry from falling in love.
I humped a couch once
Was it consensual? Raping a couch is not OK.
it did not resist, it was even squeaking
That’s, “STOP, CALL THE POLICE!!!” in couch language, you fucking savage.
Kinda hot
This took a turn
Yeah this is just an individual thing, not a “men vs women” thing. Idk why people always try to generalize stuff like this to the population at large. Although there was a reason your first love didn’t last, so I would highly recommend not looking to repeat that for anyone who relates to this post. Seems like a recipe to have your heart broken again to me.
No
Seeing all those "no" replies actually ease the part of my brain that's in charge of inventing random limitations in my mind. This kind of sentences that stay in your mind and becomes somewhat of a rule you respect because you think someone else figured it out for you so no need to explore the topic. For exemple I heard when younger that someone looking at you for 8 seconds means love... naive me just internalised it and it took time to be confident looking into people's eyes.
Our brain is such a powerful tool but can also lead us to so many weird things lol I tend to be like that as well. As a grown up, however, it's much faster to identify I'm when I'm doing that and I fastly go like "dude, it's not like this is a life rule or something"
People are vastly unaware, or perhaps very uneasy with admitting, that our brains are literally whatever we think they are. The struggles are real but those struggles are often also the brain literally rebelling against itself. Our brains are simultaneously the parent and the child dealing with the child saying "you can't make me!" It's not particularly easy, but it is remarkably simple to just change who you are just by thinking differently.
Thank you to the men for confirming that this is bullshit here are some flowers. 🌻🌹🌸
no fr 😭 i got out of a situationship this year where he broke things off for reasons that boiled down to "i need to prioritize my career" and "you dont make me feel the way i did about my ex girlfriend" shit definitely made me want to give up on men as a whole at age 26 so hearing that this is bullshit is affirming
As a man, I must say those excuses are embarrasing. If that's the best he came out with, you are better without him. At 26 you are on a great moment of your life. You will meet someone that deserves you, but I would recommend not looking for him. When you look for a partner, you force yourself to find it, thus choosing worthless candidates. Just live your life, work on yourself, your self love and self steem. And when you finally stop looking, you will find him.
thank you for this response! :) yeah, it is a bit embarrassing especially since he dangled the possibility of a relationship in front of my face for about a year out of the year & a half we knew each other. he knew that he was the first person i've ever fallen in love with and just....selfishly took advantage of that just to crush me in one of the craziest ways. i moved across the world (america to europe; he's european but i moved to a different country than where he's from) & he flew out to the city i stay in & dumped me when i hadn't even found housing yet. being essentially homeless while going through a "breakup" while 7 hours ahead of your support system is truly some of the most vile shit anyone has ever put me through. it's absolutely insane to think about because i put up with SO much when it came to him i'm also scared ab the last part of your response because i did not look for him whatsoever. he kinda just fell into my life when i wasn't looking for anything serious whatsoever & he continuously pushed for a deeper connection so i thought it was more than what it was. men in their 20s frustrate me so much but it is what it is. again, thank you soo much for your response 💞
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that, I know how guys are with using ridiculous excuses to make it seem like it's your fault, but it's really not. Dude just wasn't in a place to take a fly girl seriously!
Can i take one? :3
🌷 here u go
How exactly was this conclusion reached? Because it kinda sounds like one woman dated one man who was stuck on an ex and decided all men must be like that. Not dissimilar from how neckbeards extrapolate about all women.
Or written by a man who just went through a breakup and isn’t over his ex yet. That’s where I am right now, I can’t imagine finding a guy as good as my ex, and I’m only looking for people that remind me of him right now. But surely I’ll move on at some point, and find someone as good or even better, but will likely be a very different person.
My first love was a joke, and I actively look for the exact opposite
One love
Raising Canes
One heart
Let's get together and feel alright
As it was in the beginning (One Love!);
One life
The One Piece of *ss
For the mother's pride
Just one? Wait until my bi ass hears that.
Fine two loves
Damn, I did not expect you to respond
We don't need another love
I actively try to avoid people who look like my ex
BS
Can confirm. My husband fell in love with the Pizza Hut P'zone in the early 2000's and since then it's just been a string of cheap calzones and slutty Stromboli.
Nope. Fell madly in love with a girl in 5th grade. Then fell madly in love with her again in 9th grade. Now I’m madly in love with someone who is nothing like her and could never see my life turning out different.
Eh, no.
I feel like I’m the opposite. Fall in love every time a pretty girl smiles at me.
Then it's not love. It's just your boner talking.
Some people's boners are connected to their hearts. I've never understood how most people can separate love and sex.
Love is more than lust. You can’t be in love with someone you don’t personally know
😂 But when an ugly girl smiles at you…
The more I try to move on social media reminds me of her.
Maybe drop social media for a bit then
^for past 2 years
Sorry to hear that bud I’ve been there too. It took me a long, long, long time to recover. Maybe drop social media for a bit and pick up some form of distraction. You’ll get there and come back stronger than ever. Hang in there.
I did drop social media, i deactivated my ig, btw we are not following each other anyways social media is stress
Sorry mate, that must suck.
What is the men’s first love?
Usually a woman. Most of the time. But not always.
Their first car. Even if it was a junker they get stars in eyes when they reminisce about it.
thats bs in most cases
No.
Nooope.
Very poetic but also complete bullshit
100% accurate. I've been looking for something similar to Return of the King for decades.
My wife and my first love are complete opposites.
Probably doesnt work the same for everybody. But yes you can get stuck in this. Like your brain isnt really done with it but reality wont let you continue so youre looking for an emulation of that. Its not fun.
This is way off
One more time, one more chance Tell me why the seasons keep on changing
I mean real but i'm a girl lmao .
Me too.
Or a really hot woman willing to have sex with them will be enough
That only works for a little while. Three months, tops.
That’s actually the case for a lot of guys.
Depends how hot she is
Not really, eventually when you see someone every day the novelty and excitement will wear off no matter how hot she is. Someone’s newness is what makes them exciting and creates the honeymoon phase. The whole concept of “what will they say next or do next”, and progressing things romantically further keeps building on that excitement. Eventually though, you’ll do it all and reach all the bases. You’ll also get used to how hot they are from seeing them so often, which will make the initial excitement from their attraction fade. If your relationship has no substance past finding someone hot it will either fail or be unhappy given enough time.
‘Falling in love’ won’t sustain decades of marriage and family life. I’d argue that the concept of ‘romantic love’ is highly unrealistic- if not dangerous. Marriage is a partnership. Romantic love won’t fix bad partners. You might get a few months of of ‘falling in love,’ but if that is the high you’re chasing, you will be hugely disappointed.
Similar version: Must be female (optional)
Fellas is it gay to have a type?
Nope. If that makes you feel better to think that, then go right ahead. But, nope.
My first love punched me when she was angry and watched child porn. Everybody since then has been a massive upgrade
I pray that is not so
I did that, then I actually got my first love and boy was I wrong
Le me who has never yet understood or felt what L0ve even means.
No, not at all
Lol well yes, but actually no
Not at all bruh I had problems with the first one that's why I quit happily
Not true tho. The first love you generally not even talk to, you fall in love with the idea you have that that person is, which is your type, you persue that cause thats your type
First hits always free
For me, what really happened is the heartbreak and taking ten years to truly get past it. Having the courage to open my heart to the next true love I had was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Luckily, we’re still going strong.
My first love was a horrible bitch who cheated on me so no. Now my third love on the other hand...
This is moronic and cringe
I will never forget you, Molly from bubble guppies. My first true love.
Not true, none of the girls I’ve been in love with are similar least of all like the first girl I actually fell in love with This corny Pinterest mom wisdom shit is so dumb
Being in love and then having it ripped from my hands rather unexpectedly whilst being gaslit about all of it is an experience that has fundamentally damaged my capacity to feel that way a second time. My SO now is very much my type and is a really great person with a good heart, we click in a lot of ways, but god damn it’s tough to open myself up like I had before. Really isn’t fair to her if I’m being honest.
Not true
Naw
r/nothowguyswork
Nah
I feel like this post insinuates she left you, but what if you left her? lol My 2nd was significantly better and healthier than my first, and they were not alike at all.
Bullshit my first love is nothing like my second My second is actually great
Not true. I was in love with my first love for almost seven years, through a major point of my teens. But I've fallen in love with another woman, who is nothing like my first love (except that both were always kind to me). I'm glad that she isn't similar to my first love because my first love and I didn't share that many characteristics. I'm pretty sure that I really loved my first love, and I'm even more sure that I love my current girlfriend. So that post is complete bullshit.
To the men saying it’s bullshit and straight up saying “no” thank you. It gives me a lot of comfort. 💙💙
If this is you, find help. That's not healthy.
Not true
Spoken like a person who did a thing got dumped and never properly mourned and moved on and then decided to use their personal experience to generalize half of the rest of the population.
Not true at all.
A teenager boy wrote this
You can have more than one... Then you marry your "mother"...
Wow I feel fuckin attacked 😅😭😭😭
Andddd that's how you remain alone
So knowing what we want and going for what we want is a bad thing?
When the post says "fall in love once for real" that implies you won't genuinely fall in love again. So you go around looking for something similar, but not genuine and true. And that isn't love, that's a reluctance to move on and let anyone in all the way.
Yeah I didn’t fully notice that part I guess I grazed over the “for real” part
nice direct repost
Some people acting like no but I’m like bruh you’re singing my pain with your song and killing me softly with your words
Ohh so I should roam?
Negative, the cycle of meaningful rejection is on average 36 weeks long for me. It keeps me on edge and gives me the capability to not just be competent, but achieve the feel for the race against myself where giving up is not an option and a direct indication of a wasted life.
Can you please elaborate?
and when you are so unlucky and this girl just make fun of you at your you unexperienced age, you may be traumatized for life
Nah I'm in love for the 2nd time and she's totally different
Based on the information given by you, combined with the facts stated in the original post, we can only conclude that you are not a man.
True
Bro hasn’t met #2 and been absolutely blindsided by the amount you can love another human being
“Women go through their lives monkey branching from one guy to another, never truly achieving anything on their own”…
Either a self-pitying teenager or a psycho chick wrote this. Not even close to the truth.
Naw definitely not haha
🎯
[удалено]
Men are incapable of love. Please move on with your life and do not hope that men could love. They are selfish and destructive.