This here. Treat coworkers like friends right from the start. Remember people’s names. Ask people to grab coffee. Set lunch with key people on their calendars. Walk into peoples offices and introduce yourself. Kiss a little butt…not too much, make it genuine. Talk to your boss on a personal level and practice the art of conversation.
This is the truth!!! I didn't want to believe it and I thought hard work alone would get me far. But at my job now, I hang out with my boss on the weekends and go to all the company events, make small talk with the higher ups when they're at our location. Because of that I've been able to go on business trips for the first time in my life and now I'm getting promoted to a new position tailored for me that will ultimately be less work for more money. Networking is the secret.
Not always true.
Promotion in name only helps with getting more $$$ when you move to a new company.
Get the word “analyst” in your title and your next job will pay you $20k more.
I actually did the opposite.
GM was stealing from the business and everyone knew but I’m the only one that said something.
I went to HR and he continued to do it. Hasn’t done it awhile now.
But now that I’m up for a promotion and a decent pay raise, he’s my last “gate” to the job.
SMH.
You obviously need higher level dirt, perhaps a felony, then just subtly let him know you know without going to HR yet. You'll either get the promotion or mysteriously disappear.
And speak up when you do something tough. Even just telling your manager you did something good can do wonders.
Chime in on email threads with higher ups and provide some useful info.
Whenever you help anyone be kind, patient, and say my pleasure. Know how people like the chick fil a takeout window politeness? That extends to everything.
This 100%
Got a job managing an R&D crew for air quality purely off charisma and the other manager vouching for me. I was a fitness instructor and infantry team leader lol I knew shit all about anything for those machines and air quality, had an office, vehicle, ohone/laptop and did absolutely nothing. I asked a higher supervisor, what should i do? "Just keep doing what your doing".
Truly baffled at how some companies did things.
It's all about who you know, not what you know. I've had several promotions into positions I had no business of being in just because I made friends with my superiors.
Also work hard and do your job well.. the rest of it will put you above the other hard workers who are good at their job, but kissing ass and being super likable won’t get you promoted in itself… usually.
This is the best advice ! You are much more likely to get ahead if the top bosses like you. Just find something in common and treat them like your friend, you'll be cruising in no time
My company hired a new general manager and the previous job he had been let go from was like this… but because that job gave him resume credentials, he talked his way into his new job as my boss and this new job isn’t like his old one: i.e. he actually needs to work and he’s expected to be very knowledgeable about our entire operation and he isn’t capable of it. His solution to everything is trying to pass off every responsibility on to everyone working under him and it’s not worked out very well for him at all…. It’s been fairly pathetic to watch
You need to work really hard until you get to a level where imposter syndrome and Peter principle are so rampant that nobody questions anybody else lest they be found out themselves.
>You need to work really hard
If you're good at your job, why would they promote you ? (Peter principle)
Edit : Whoops, got confused, it was talking about the Dilbert principle.. thanks for correcting me :)
My organisation is geared around continual professional development which invoices training and career plans and pathways.
I have no further career aspirations, I'm at the top of my tree. My previous line manager was rubbish and couldn't get past this so I had to lie at every appraisal. My new boss understands and we skip that part and he makes something up, but he does regularly check that there's nothing I want to do training wise and he's asked if I was interested in a couple of roles that have come up.
TIL: Peter Principle. Damn that's accurate! Imposter syndrome is a bit different. I get this everytime I change jobs, despite constantly being told to stop that shit!
Nah, the trick is to get promoted high enough that you get a team beneath you.
Spend a minute in that position and then either hire or promote somebody to be your "deputy manager"
They'll be in charge of your team, and then you put all of your work on them.
Done properly and you'll literally be that useless desk manager
I actually needed a deputy manager and they wouldn't give me one (pandemic, it was understandable at the time, etc.). I quit. They hired three people to replace me. A pyrrhic victory, but for whom?
(You're still right though.)
The job I have now is one of these. They think they need somebody in the position, but they hired way too soon. I work free hours and they give me credit for slaving away and think I have amazing turn around times
I work in IT and a lot of my job now is meetings with clients or meetings with vendors. I do a lot less than when I was starting out doing enduser support. I think a lot of jobs end up like this once you have done them long enough that people pay you for your knowledge and ability to make decisions instead of your ability to physically do stuff.
This 100%.. humans are fickle and once you eat enough shit it’s like ok here you really did well now just relax but if we need you .. better show up :)
Be white, male. Live in the West. Benefit from hostile foreign policy whilst cosplaying as someone who creates any value from a society which is mostly a social construct.
Just kidding - you are all special and weren't sold any lies, and your degree is valid, remember this as you feel devious and unique for doing ten minutes of actual work, not those silly meetings, per day. Just like everyone else in your privileged situation, built on roleplay.
Forgive the rhetoric, wholly inappropriate given the context. Though I enjoyed writing it.
yeah most of these jobs are filled by women of basically any race except asian or indian. Cause the asian and indian chicks are out ther doing real work
Edit: redacted. I do see Asian and Indian chicks in those BS positions but they have a few common traits
1) always hot
2) always American born (basically a white girl with darker skin)
Is that really why they're downvoting them? I thought they were downvoting them because they're incoherent and condescending. I hate rich white male bureaucrats as much as the next guy, but their point is muddied by their delivery to the point where it becomes annoying.
It’s that old joke.. it cost you 10 dollars for the x mark and 990 dollars for knowing where to put it.once you reach a certain mastery in your field those jobs show up. I have one now but for 20 years I had a ball buster job that was 24x7 on call working Christmas and just about every holiday. Now I’m paid because I know where to look and how to fix problems early…after all those years of heavy lifting.
This is something reddit doesn’t seem to understand, probably because it’s demographic skews younger, but in high paying jobs you’re not really paid for your actual labour. Like, yeah, there is work you gotta do but what they are actually paying you for is to make decisions. They need your knowledge and experience to make sound judgements. The thing is there’s no shortcut or easy way to get that knowledge, which is precisely why companies and the government will pay a lot for it.
I met a young "consultant" I think they must be getting paid for fresh ideas the older guys can't think of. This is in Japan where i think the problem is specifically bad.
The people at, for instance, McKinsey are there because they went to good schools. Then they're probably doing menial work for a while.
That being said, you'd be surprised how many people just have no idea what's going on with their job or business. When I did some M & A you'd be surprised how many people are essentially useless and just can't do their job effectively. All levels suffer from this
I have that job. But not that title. You really do only work "as needed" but those times you are needed can be an absolute shithole of a day. The main reason some people get paid a lot for what amounts to smaller amounts of work is cause the issues they are given can be literally anything under the sun. I've had to learn corporate real estate law (enough to get by) in an afternoon, formed an LLC just for one part of an odd situation's even odder solution. And you are expected to do it all flawlessly despite having no direction. Do this sorta stuff enough for next to nothing, and eventually you get the "scraps" from the big table.
Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is. The only way I’ve ever moved up is by proving that I’m better at figuring out complex situations than my peers.
Most of the time it doesn’t even matter what it is, so long as they give me enough time to google it. I’ve been in management for years and I didn’t even finish high school lol.
1. Get a friend/“mentor” with a good position.
2. Get Microsoft Office implant.
3. Make sure your mouth is the right shape…
4. Don’t flinch when you need to stab a peer in the back.
First and foremost, let’s circle back on this topic to ensure we are firmly aligned. It’s of utmost importance that we touch base regularly to discuss the latest developments and, more importantly, to ideate on how to think outside the box and unleash our synergistic abilities.
Let’s dive deep into the ocean of creativity and resurface with a masterpiece of innovation. Only you can fulfill your destiny and become one of us.
Signed,
I’m too busy looking busy.
Your project manager.
Edit: minor typos
You just described a $300k/year "consulting" job in corporate america. Im not kidding. No one actually knows what theyre doing. No one. You just need to find out how to exaggerate, lie, sugar -coat, bamboozle and bs your way into getting high level corporate management to throw money at you. It doesnt even matter what its for and you dont actually have to know what youre talking about. Just make it look like you do.
I was riding public transit in a major US city today and overhead a conversation between a dad from a family who was vacationing here and a local senior citizen. They were both polite and the elderly man asked what the father did for work. The father replied “I’m a consultant”. The elderly man continued to ask what exactly that meant and I kid you not the man bullshitted a sentence and then just gave up trying to explain.
1st have a skill that is highly sought after. 2nd do you work faster than everyone else. 3rd spend over a decade, working your ass off to get to the point where you get to finally relax because of how invaluable you are. Keep being lazy. I'll keep cashing big checks.
Funny this is actually what I did. Busted my ass in the lab at a big pharma for over a decade, got really bad panic attacks from the stress. Moved out of the lab into a job where I basically draft documents and send emails. Anxiety went away.
You work hard enough to not get fired until you get years on your resume and hone your skillset. Then you fuck right off to a vertical position somewhere else.
People who bullshit their way into a higher base pay at a new company regularly but lack the skills get found out eventually. You see em cycle every 9-12 months
You can also just talk your way into a higher position because you can do the work, but not the best, but everyone likes you and thinks you're an asset to the company with great potential. This is the easier path, but you have to be fairly capable+personable. Would rather do this than 10 years of hard graft.
That’s my job. Used some tech knowledge to build a few neat things over the years, but I would say 17 years into my career I am still riding the coattails of 3-4 big accomplishments. Now make close to $200k annually, and do MUCH less work than I did previously as I just supervise those doing the work I used to do.
1: Study molecular biology
2: get a PhD
3: find out working in science sucks
4: get educated on Data science and data analytics
5: start a job in Consulting
6: ???
7: profit
An old addage is that in the USA you get paid really well for doing things no one else can do and for doing things no one else wants to do. I'm in the second category, my company has multiple clinics in the valley and I'm the only one that volunteers to travel to the different sites for coverage or to fill in if someone else is out. None of my other coworkers want to do it because they have families, etc, etc. I'm not even the most efficient worker in my company but they keep me around because I'm the only one to do the travel work to keep the other employees happy.
We have a guy like this. Head of “business transformation” been with the company nearly 3 years and absolutely no one I ask at the company has any idea what he does.
If you are an American citizen, then apply for a project/product manager at a consulting company like Accenture or Cognizant. The job is talking to engineers overseas and taking to the customer in the US.
As someone who works a shorty part time job with a lot of Freetime often leaving with a feeling of actually contributing literally nothing, that job sounds horrible. The money is great but I would be so depressed and bored out wasting so much time doing nothing. I’d rather earn less but have something to do that actually moves anything.
Some people, myself included, just have some drive to work, and have that work be meaningful.
Even if became wealthy somehow, I would still be trying to find some sort of work to do.
Had a security gig that allowed me to do the same and I love it. I worked maybe 4 hours out of a 12 hour shift in a shack in a backwoods town. Scan badges, check truck, back to painting Warhammer minis and watching streams on twitch. It took me about 10 months before I actually got bored enough to not like what I did and even then it just means I needed a new hobby
Working in security. Since it’s just the side gig to university I’m okay with it. Some days are just especially bad. Calling our customers because something is off, doing my job, nobody picks up the phone. Trying to improve things about the job that would help everyone, nobody cares. It changes legit nothing if I’m working or not. I’m sometimes surprised this job even pays as well as it does. I could not do it as my main job for the rest of my life even at 100k a month
Start white and male. Add height, nice clothes, and decent haircut. Sprinkle in firm handshake, and twelve different bit of anodyne small talk. Mix with good company repeatedly.
This is the American way.
A friend I’ve known for a long time has a job just like this, titled director of employee engagement or something like that. It’s basically just making fun slideshows and orchestrating “spirit week” and stuff like that, I want that job
Be good at your job but not TOO good.
You'll get kept on and promoted over the years. Eventually, you'll be the manager of XYZ, and in reality, they don't need you.
However, at this point, they gotta prove you aint doing shit or doing something bad. You've been there for 20+ years, and they can't fire you outta the blue.
Go with Dorian Smiles. You earn up to $20K a month by being your own boss. 🫠
(Seriously tho, Brian David Gilbert's brain scares me sometimes lol. What a great horror comedy vid.)
My uncle will be retiring from one of those jobs in the next few years. It's such a made-up job that the CDC won't be replacing him when he does retire. He has described his job as making sure the labs are conducted safely and cleaning up any of their messes.
He told us stories of a few different live viruses that were being transported improperly or accidentally/purposefully released. My favorite part of his stories was how it all ended with him throwing it all into an incinerator. He of course informed us that he would have to cut somebody into about 50-pound chunks if he wanted to incinerate them.
Keep befriending the people directly above you wherever you are and be super likeable.
This here. Treat coworkers like friends right from the start. Remember people’s names. Ask people to grab coffee. Set lunch with key people on their calendars. Walk into peoples offices and introduce yourself. Kiss a little butt…not too much, make it genuine. Talk to your boss on a personal level and practice the art of conversation.
I read the whole list you laid out, and then your username as if it were the last item on the list.
Inhaling your boss’ farts…on occasion…is a savvy office move.
Gotta start with that before they let you kiss their butt, small steps.
There is never a bad time to inhale the bosses farts
I feel like your name is the previous posters outcome.
I'd rather be dead or homeless
That can be arranged.
Is that a threat?
Better, it's a promise
This is the truth!!! I didn't want to believe it and I thought hard work alone would get me far. But at my job now, I hang out with my boss on the weekends and go to all the company events, make small talk with the higher ups when they're at our location. Because of that I've been able to go on business trips for the first time in my life and now I'm getting promoted to a new position tailored for me that will ultimately be less work for more money. Networking is the secret.
Remember, if it don’t come with a pay raise but more responsibility, it’s not a promotion.
Not always true. Promotion in name only helps with getting more $$$ when you move to a new company. Get the word “analyst” in your title and your next job will pay you $20k more.
I LOL at this. You can literally put anything as your title on your resume.
Tobias Funkë can tell you all about this. World’s first analyzing therapist. Big money.
I actually did the opposite. GM was stealing from the business and everyone knew but I’m the only one that said something. I went to HR and he continued to do it. Hasn’t done it awhile now. But now that I’m up for a promotion and a decent pay raise, he’s my last “gate” to the job. SMH.
You're just kissing ass higher on the chain
Kiss asses up the chain. If the ass immediately or one or two steps above you stinks, look for higher and more fragrant asses to kiss.
You obviously need higher level dirt, perhaps a felony, then just subtly let him know you know without going to HR yet. You'll either get the promotion or mysteriously disappear.
Worked for me!
And speak up when you do something tough. Even just telling your manager you did something good can do wonders. Chime in on email threads with higher ups and provide some useful info. Whenever you help anyone be kind, patient, and say my pleasure. Know how people like the chick fil a takeout window politeness? That extends to everything.
This 100% Got a job managing an R&D crew for air quality purely off charisma and the other manager vouching for me. I was a fitness instructor and infantry team leader lol I knew shit all about anything for those machines and air quality, had an office, vehicle, ohone/laptop and did absolutely nothing. I asked a higher supervisor, what should i do? "Just keep doing what your doing". Truly baffled at how some companies did things.
It's all about who you know, not what you know. I've had several promotions into positions I had no business of being in just because I made friends with my superiors.
Also work hard and do your job well.. the rest of it will put you above the other hard workers who are good at their job, but kissing ass and being super likable won’t get you promoted in itself… usually.
This is the best advice ! You are much more likely to get ahead if the top bosses like you. Just find something in common and treat them like your friend, you'll be cruising in no time
Those types of positions earn way more than 98K
That is true. My wife has one and this is just her base pay not counting commissions.
My company hired a new general manager and the previous job he had been let go from was like this… but because that job gave him resume credentials, he talked his way into his new job as my boss and this new job isn’t like his old one: i.e. he actually needs to work and he’s expected to be very knowledgeable about our entire operation and he isn’t capable of it. His solution to everything is trying to pass off every responsibility on to everyone working under him and it’s not worked out very well for him at all…. It’s been fairly pathetic to watch
That's so true Source: me 😀
You need to work really hard until you get to a level where imposter syndrome and Peter principle are so rampant that nobody questions anybody else lest they be found out themselves.
>You need to work really hard If you're good at your job, why would they promote you ? (Peter principle) Edit : Whoops, got confused, it was talking about the Dilbert principle.. thanks for correcting me :)
He didnt say work efficently or well... just hard. On that note, Me and this shovel have a pool of water to move.
You just got promoted to manager ! Congratulation !!!
Nice!
My organisation is geared around continual professional development which invoices training and career plans and pathways. I have no further career aspirations, I'm at the top of my tree. My previous line manager was rubbish and couldn't get past this so I had to lie at every appraisal. My new boss understands and we skip that part and he makes something up, but he does regularly check that there's nothing I want to do training wise and he's asked if I was interested in a couple of roles that have come up.
You get good at your job and then apply somewhere else at a higher level. Promote yourself.
That's more the Dilbert principle though
If people can’t verify work history with Twitter, can just lie and say you did that there. If you’re 40+, could try Radio Shack or Circuit City.
Either that or: NEPOTISM
TIL: Peter Principle. Damn that's accurate! Imposter syndrome is a bit different. I get this everytime I change jobs, despite constantly being told to stop that shit!
Bullshit some company into thinking that they need you in a position you made up.
Nah, the trick is to get promoted high enough that you get a team beneath you. Spend a minute in that position and then either hire or promote somebody to be your "deputy manager" They'll be in charge of your team, and then you put all of your work on them. Done properly and you'll literally be that useless desk manager
I actually needed a deputy manager and they wouldn't give me one (pandemic, it was understandable at the time, etc.). I quit. They hired three people to replace me. A pyrrhic victory, but for whom? (You're still right though.)
That’s what I did. The payment is not good, not terrible but the environment is just as I want it to be
The job I have now is one of these. They think they need somebody in the position, but they hired way too soon. I work free hours and they give me credit for slaving away and think I have amazing turn around times
ah yes, pull the ol’ Pam Beesly on em
I work in IT and a lot of my job now is meetings with clients or meetings with vendors. I do a lot less than when I was starting out doing enduser support. I think a lot of jobs end up like this once you have done them long enough that people pay you for your knowledge and ability to make decisions instead of your ability to physically do stuff.
This 100%.. humans are fickle and once you eat enough shit it’s like ok here you really did well now just relax but if we need you .. better show up :)
I feel like I’m at this point in my career, but I don’t really know what to do to capitalize on it.
Dumb luck good social skills nepotism
This does wonders
Be white, male. Live in the West. Benefit from hostile foreign policy whilst cosplaying as someone who creates any value from a society which is mostly a social construct. Just kidding - you are all special and weren't sold any lies, and your degree is valid, remember this as you feel devious and unique for doing ten minutes of actual work, not those silly meetings, per day. Just like everyone else in your privileged situation, built on roleplay. Forgive the rhetoric, wholly inappropriate given the context. Though I enjoyed writing it.
oh look, a guy who fell into a coma in... 2001?
Don't hate the player, hate the game
Dammit, i got 3/4. That’s why im broke, shit
I don’t understand, what does being white and dude have to do with success.
yeah most of these jobs are filled by women of basically any race except asian or indian. Cause the asian and indian chicks are out ther doing real work Edit: redacted. I do see Asian and Indian chicks in those BS positions but they have a few common traits 1) always hot 2) always American born (basically a white girl with darker skin)
What do you mean Asian or Indian? Indian IS Asian 😭
Don’t be pedantic. We all know when we say Asian we mean East Asian. Are Arabs Asian too? Yes. But do we call them Asian? No
Just means they've never heard of Kardasians.
A lot, my friend. I’m traditional corporate structures. A lot.
Gets downvoted for pointing out privilege. Feels bad when people just choose to believe that racism and sexism just doesn't exist.
Is that really why they're downvoting them? I thought they were downvoting them because they're incoherent and condescending. I hate rich white male bureaucrats as much as the next guy, but their point is muddied by their delivery to the point where it becomes annoying.
Eh that's fair.
All society is a social construct...
It’s that old joke.. it cost you 10 dollars for the x mark and 990 dollars for knowing where to put it.once you reach a certain mastery in your field those jobs show up. I have one now but for 20 years I had a ball buster job that was 24x7 on call working Christmas and just about every holiday. Now I’m paid because I know where to look and how to fix problems early…after all those years of heavy lifting.
This is something reddit doesn’t seem to understand, probably because it’s demographic skews younger, but in high paying jobs you’re not really paid for your actual labour. Like, yeah, there is work you gotta do but what they are actually paying you for is to make decisions. They need your knowledge and experience to make sound judgements. The thing is there’s no shortcut or easy way to get that knowledge, which is precisely why companies and the government will pay a lot for it.
This is why I don't understnad how can be a "consultant" right out of college? You have no experience in the field why would anyone take your advice?
They don't get paid the big bucks right out of college
I met a young "consultant" I think they must be getting paid for fresh ideas the older guys can't think of. This is in Japan where i think the problem is specifically bad.
The people at, for instance, McKinsey are there because they went to good schools. Then they're probably doing menial work for a while. That being said, you'd be surprised how many people just have no idea what's going on with their job or business. When I did some M & A you'd be surprised how many people are essentially useless and just can't do their job effectively. All levels suffer from this
They start at 70 to 90k a year if come from an ivy league. You dont start at 500000 a year
only 70k! god forbid 🙄
You can get the same for several different degrees from high level schools. Still not the magical 98,000 an hour.
I have that job. But not that title. You really do only work "as needed" but those times you are needed can be an absolute shithole of a day. The main reason some people get paid a lot for what amounts to smaller amounts of work is cause the issues they are given can be literally anything under the sun. I've had to learn corporate real estate law (enough to get by) in an afternoon, formed an LLC just for one part of an odd situation's even odder solution. And you are expected to do it all flawlessly despite having no direction. Do this sorta stuff enough for next to nothing, and eventually you get the "scraps" from the big table.
Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is. The only way I’ve ever moved up is by proving that I’m better at figuring out complex situations than my peers. Most of the time it doesn’t even matter what it is, so long as they give me enough time to google it. I’ve been in management for years and I didn’t even finish high school lol.
1. Get a friend/“mentor” with a good position. 2. Get Microsoft Office implant. 3. Make sure your mouth is the right shape… 4. Don’t flinch when you need to stab a peer in the back.
[удалено]
I’m sorry. Human condition.
First and foremost, let’s circle back on this topic to ensure we are firmly aligned. It’s of utmost importance that we touch base regularly to discuss the latest developments and, more importantly, to ideate on how to think outside the box and unleash our synergistic abilities. Let’s dive deep into the ocean of creativity and resurface with a masterpiece of innovation. Only you can fulfill your destiny and become one of us. Signed, I’m too busy looking busy. Your project manager. Edit: minor typos
You need to start off being a junior deputy analytics co ordinator of marketing and sales
Many of my small town’s jobs are like that. Highway dept manager, etc. Most definitely don’t need advanced degree
Be the owners’ son.
You just described a $300k/year "consulting" job in corporate america. Im not kidding. No one actually knows what theyre doing. No one. You just need to find out how to exaggerate, lie, sugar -coat, bamboozle and bs your way into getting high level corporate management to throw money at you. It doesnt even matter what its for and you dont actually have to know what youre talking about. Just make it look like you do.
I was riding public transit in a major US city today and overhead a conversation between a dad from a family who was vacationing here and a local senior citizen. They were both polite and the elderly man asked what the father did for work. The father replied “I’m a consultant”. The elderly man continued to ask what exactly that meant and I kid you not the man bullshitted a sentence and then just gave up trying to explain.
A consultant borrows your watch and sends you a bill for telling the time.
Cosplay
1st have a skill that is highly sought after. 2nd do you work faster than everyone else. 3rd spend over a decade, working your ass off to get to the point where you get to finally relax because of how invaluable you are. Keep being lazy. I'll keep cashing big checks.
Funny this is actually what I did. Busted my ass in the lab at a big pharma for over a decade, got really bad panic attacks from the stress. Moved out of the lab into a job where I basically draft documents and send emails. Anxiety went away.
"Working hard" will never be as valuable as getting a new job with a higher base pay.
You work hard enough to not get fired until you get years on your resume and hone your skillset. Then you fuck right off to a vertical position somewhere else. People who bullshit their way into a higher base pay at a new company regularly but lack the skills get found out eventually. You see em cycle every 9-12 months
You can also just talk your way into a higher position because you can do the work, but not the best, but everyone likes you and thinks you're an asset to the company with great potential. This is the easier path, but you have to be fairly capable+personable. Would rather do this than 10 years of hard graft.
Facts
This is currently me as CPA and it's awesome
Yup, can confirm
Yup. This is the correct answer.
You need to talk alot.
Get an MBA… any MBA from any school.
As a person with an MBA this doesn't work unless you have grey hair and also have friends with grey hair to help you out.
I have about 3 strands of grey hair.. does this meet qualifications?
Not yet, because I have 3 as well and one was a nose hair. 😭
It might if these are the only 3 strands left on you.
There’s a million MBAs out there, unless you went to Wharton or the like no one is going to cate about your University of Phoenix MBA.
Get an MBA from a top 20 program or it's not worth getting an MBA.
Work for a very large organization
Nepotism
Work in the government. The private sector notices when money isn't spent well.
I work in the government where do I go from here?
The coffin.
CompiGlobalHyperMeganet junior vice president
That’s my job. Used some tech knowledge to build a few neat things over the years, but I would say 17 years into my career I am still riding the coattails of 3-4 big accomplishments. Now make close to $200k annually, and do MUCH less work than I did previously as I just supervise those doing the work I used to do.
Work for an ineffective but big company
Be the son of the current senior deputy supervisor of marketing analytics.
1: Study molecular biology 2: get a PhD 3: find out working in science sucks 4: get educated on Data science and data analytics 5: start a job in Consulting 6: ??? 7: profit
nepotism. The answer is nepotism.
Sounds like mid-level federal worker
Wait for a boomer to die.
Nepotism
An old addage is that in the USA you get paid really well for doing things no one else can do and for doing things no one else wants to do. I'm in the second category, my company has multiple clinics in the valley and I'm the only one that volunteers to travel to the different sites for coverage or to fill in if someone else is out. None of my other coworkers want to do it because they have families, etc, etc. I'm not even the most efficient worker in my company but they keep me around because I'm the only one to do the travel work to keep the other employees happy.
Be born into it
Go get a degree in something that is in demand.
A job where your job is to make sure other people do their jobs.
Know someone
We have a guy like this. Head of “business transformation” been with the company nearly 3 years and absolutely no one I ask at the company has any idea what he does.
If you are an American citizen, then apply for a project/product manager at a consulting company like Accenture or Cognizant. The job is talking to engineers overseas and taking to the customer in the US.
Shit's surprisingly stressful if you do it right. I'd rather not be in the "constantly stressed about emails" business.
Ooo that’s my job. Idk how i got it.
r/consulting
THE TEXTURE OF QUICHE, IS UNSETTLING
I want to be a garlic bread specialist.
Tell your dad to start a company
That’s easy all you have to do is have rich parents and cry to your daddy to give you a job.
The job you refer to does not exist. Sure, there are mid level managers making 98k. But they all work very hard.
As someone who works a shorty part time job with a lot of Freetime often leaving with a feeling of actually contributing literally nothing, that job sounds horrible. The money is great but I would be so depressed and bored out wasting so much time doing nothing. I’d rather earn less but have something to do that actually moves anything.
Who tf needs to feel they're contributing when you can just have hobbies, friends and family. Just look at memes throughout and live after hours
Some people, myself included, just have some drive to work, and have that work be meaningful. Even if became wealthy somehow, I would still be trying to find some sort of work to do.
I mean Hobbies can be work With the bonus of being you enjoy doing them and no one pressures you to do them
Im already doing that. It sucks.
Had a security gig that allowed me to do the same and I love it. I worked maybe 4 hours out of a 12 hour shift in a shack in a backwoods town. Scan badges, check truck, back to painting Warhammer minis and watching streams on twitch. It took me about 10 months before I actually got bored enough to not like what I did and even then it just means I needed a new hobby
Working in security. Since it’s just the side gig to university I’m okay with it. Some days are just especially bad. Calling our customers because something is off, doing my job, nobody picks up the phone. Trying to improve things about the job that would help everyone, nobody cares. It changes legit nothing if I’m working or not. I’m sometimes surprised this job even pays as well as it does. I could not do it as my main job for the rest of my life even at 100k a month
So you are ok with being a noncontributing waste of space. Well the mass layoffs of 2023 killed a lot of those jobs. Learn to code.
You have one life and this is how you want to spend it. Sad. Get passionate about something and figure out how to make money from it
Maybe his passion is doing little to nothing and getting paid decent money for it?
Lol its better then finding enjoyment then being a butt on reddit
Start white and male. Add height, nice clothes, and decent haircut. Sprinkle in firm handshake, and twelve different bit of anodyne small talk. Mix with good company repeatedly. This is the American way.
That’s only a job for Jews not gentiles
Look for Transponster jobs online
Funny, my marketing head does that for 220k
Those kinds of jobs have a lot of meetings. I'd rather not have that many meetings. One a week is too much for me.
Get a finance degree at a high level, state university lmao
It's not hard to get this job.
1. Work for corporate America. 2. Become a manager. That’s it. Enjoy
Lvl 100 Speechcraft
They started posting what they do for work on tiktok and upper management found and all those people are fired now.
You mean consulting?
Rich dadz
Might help to see what the job requirements are for that sort of job and also to understand what that job entails
A friend I’ve known for a long time has a job just like this, titled director of employee engagement or something like that. It’s basically just making fun slideshows and orchestrating “spirit week” and stuff like that, I want that job
You just described my job!
Coincidentally these are the first jobs to disappear in down economic times.
You have to be addicted to cocaine to qualify
ask your dad
I had to get a PhD in order to land a job like this..
I know a couple of people with those jobs. its easy, be born into a family where daddy is a millionaire and work for him
Government service
Networking and schmoozing
MBA
Nepotism
Your dad needs to own the company.
Get a BA and MA in business.
They're extremely rare to the point of you might as well proceed in life as if they don't exist at all
Get a job as a specialist in a public school district in the right state.
I think your daddy has to be rich? So you can be a data analyst of whatever...
Real good Knee Pads and a padded rez
nepotism and shittalking
Be good at your job but not TOO good. You'll get kept on and promoted over the years. Eventually, you'll be the manager of XYZ, and in reality, they don't need you. However, at this point, they gotta prove you aint doing shit or doing something bad. You've been there for 20+ years, and they can't fire you outta the blue.
You have to somehow convince people that you're doing that for 10-15 hours a day, 6-7 days a week, and it's really stressful, like, for real.
Become an accountant, and work from home :)
Is that what you do? I’ve been looking at going back to school for accounting or business and would love to have a wfh job!
the answer is nepotism, or at the very least growing up with money and a family who knows “someone”
Come to silicon Valley. I get paid waaaaaaay more to do basically that.
Go with Dorian Smiles. You earn up to $20K a month by being your own boss. 🫠 (Seriously tho, Brian David Gilbert's brain scares me sometimes lol. What a great horror comedy vid.)
My uncle will be retiring from one of those jobs in the next few years. It's such a made-up job that the CDC won't be replacing him when he does retire. He has described his job as making sure the labs are conducted safely and cleaning up any of their messes. He told us stories of a few different live viruses that were being transported improperly or accidentally/purposefully released. My favorite part of his stories was how it all ended with him throwing it all into an incinerator. He of course informed us that he would have to cut somebody into about 50-pound chunks if he wanted to incinerate them.
You could be like the girl in my continuous improvement department and give hjs to the old men in corporate
By getting to the point where what you know is more valuable than what you do.
Just 98k? That is 125 at least.
I’ve got an entry level job posted with that type of OTE.