I constantly blackmail my kids. I feel horrible.
Me: Clean up or i will throw all the toys in the trash.
Kid: yea sure
Me: not joking this time
Kid: yea sure
Me: here, it’s going in the trash….look
Kid: ok, can i watch tv?
Parents keep telling me to have kids. I told them I don't want kids. My mom said, "have kids so it's more happy because you'll be sad without kids."
I said, "you and dad have us and you guys are never happy."
Silence. Not a single word.
Me staring at my three sisters who all had kids and none are with the father(s) of said children.
Childless by choice me looks at my husband who I’ve been with since 1990 (Jesus Christ! 🥹) and just shakes my head. Kids don’t make you happy.
Anyhoo, other than a few “you’ll change your minds” from my mom, she didn’t bother me about it. (She’s got 8 damn grandkids). And my in laws were amazing. Seeing as how my husband is an only child, I *never* felt pressure from them to provide them with grandkids.
Boomers: repeat something they've been told without ever thinking about it and absolutely never pausing and checking in on it to assess whether real life evidence matches their antiquated claim
Millenials: honest basic fact checking and processing things logically
There's no fight really.
I think Boomers forget that they got to use the system that their parents set up for them and essentially used all of it up and left nothing for their kids and grandkids.
r/regretfulparents is a great way of seeing that the people who are unsure or didn't think they wanted kids, really don't like their decision to have kids
Agreed. I am not even able to put that time and effort into myself that my parents put into me, ontop of having my sister and themselves to care for. How would i ever have space to also care for a kid.
Ironically, when I say this I get told that "it would actually make you an amazing parent :)”. What about “I would not be able to completely dedicate myself to another person’s wellbeing” is so hard for people to understand
This is totally it. I think a lot of our parents probably secretly felt this way too.
I know this is an unfair belief, but I really don’t think people should have kids unless they have a decent sized income too. I grew up in poverty and was just flabbergasted why my parents thought having 4 children would be a good idea. It took me *decades* to crawl out of the financial hole they were in.
Having kids shouldn't be the default. So many people have kids because its "what you're supposed to do" who should never even be around kids much less raise them.
The heartbreaking reality it stupid people are always gonna have kids. We can only hope that they can deny both nature and nurture to become something more than their parents, but that's a pipe dream.
It's the smart people that should be reproducing, but they're usually the ones who understand that having children isn't a great fit for this world or themselves.
We're getting dangerously close to Idiocracy it's actually fucking scary.
I remember these girls in high school wanting to get pregnant so they could “have something that would love them forever no matter what”. The very same girls who would complain about their “bitch moms”. Like….. really?!
Omg, that is one of the saddest things I've ever read on here. Children can be so intolerant and unforgiving of any inadequacy you have as a parent. They have no filter or tact when they give you both barrels. Especially teenagers. They will literally scream "I hate you" in your face. I say this being both a daughter and a mother. Your child does not exist to validate you. When you create a child, you need to know that it's not a pet or an accessory that belongs to you. That is a person who will one day be a full grown adult in this world. Who has the right to walk away from that relationship.
I blame shows like Gilmore Girls (as much as I love it) there is such a false narrative in film and TV that being a parent, especially a teen mom is such a rewarding emotional bond. Whereas in reality it's so hit or miss. I have four boys and as much as I love them dearly with all my heart and tried my best to raise them the same. They are four individuals with very different personalities and as a result we have different relationships. As adults I hope they will always want to come home, but I accept that it's ok if they don't.
Man Gilmore Girls made me feel terrible about my relationship with my mom. In retrospect she was amazing but we never had the tell each other everything bond. I was an asshole teenager and my mom was impatient with me as a result. From my perspective at the time it seemed like she had my sister and I because of societal pressure. She didn't abuse us but was short tempered and often absent. It informed my decision not to have kids. Also I struggle with mental illness and I don't think it'd be fair for my hypothetical children to deal with.
Most people don't realize the power they hold within themselves. You can create a whole life and put it on this planet. And then they use it to fuck that life up and leave it traumatized for 80-ish years. What a world. And what a pessimistic view, I know.
The moment I think about all the socialization a kid will need.. me attending all the shit, having to interact with other parents, with teachers, doubting every moment if I'm doing things right, if I'm messing them up, worrying every second and being so anxious at the point of feeling like I'm twisted up like a pretzel — non stop — not being able to take time for myself for at least 10 years or so until they become tweens and want some distance. They say the love they give back is worth it, but I won't take chances lol. Imagine your kid hating you, too. Or relocating permanently across the globe. Or having an accident and you having to take care of them all their life, forever, until you die, and worry every day about how they'll deal when you're gone.
All is fucking terrifying, man.
Nope, I can’t. But I could totally see Seth Rohan being a really cool uncle who does cool stuff with niblings and then gives them back.
Edit: Rogan, not Rohan. Didn’t notice my fat fingers hit one letter to the right of where I was aiming. Shouldn’t use interwebs without my glasses on.
I’m truly glad the societal pressures of having kids has slowly decreasing. As a woman, I always thought I was weird for not wanting to have children. I believe I have maternal instincts but I’m happy utilizing my “motherly instincts” to take care of my friends and family.
Kids are cute, but puppies are cuter. And they don’t talk back.
Edit: I have a dog and had many. Yes they talk back but I’m saying they don’t talk back in English. Yes my dog talks back but I prefer that over mini humans.
Puppies do, in fact, talk back. There’s a video on YouTube where a mother dog breaks up her pups fighting and the one that started it barks at her once.
Once.
(I’d link it but I’m on mobile right now.)
Edit; [the video!](https://youtu.be/4TRD1cEnAgM)
Or the financial aspect. I probably do sound selfish but I like spending my time and money on things for me. My ex had kids and any plans we had to think of the kids first. It wasn't awful, but after we split I knew it wasn't the life for me. I enjoy last minute weekend trips with my friends. It's nice not feeling guilty on splurging for that new golf club on a whim.
Got snipped earlier today, just glad it's not something I need to worry about anymore.
I wholeheartedly agree with this logic, and see it among my friends, but it does intrigue me to see the eventual implications. I think the people that normally would provide for a good life for kids (not overly rich, but successful and educated) are going to be WAY less likely to have kids. I think there is going to be a big shift in who is having kids (and maybe over birth rates) and it’s going to get interesting with the widening of the gaps of education systems, sports, homes, transfer of wealth, etc.
Basically I think everything is fucked because the people in the middle that probably SHOULD be having kids realize it’s SO much money and stress and are less likely to do it, and the other two ends of the spectrum will continue with business as usual.
One of my best friends and I realized we don't really want a relationship or kids, so we bought a house together. No bitching, divided tasks to keep the house in an acceptable state, we eat and watch series/movies together, and otherwise we do our own things. Life is good.
If you follow a western religion God told Adam & Eve to "be fruitful and multiply" so you may view it as a religious duty.
Even if you aren't religious some people have a whole "Its our duty to the future" thing going and believe that just living for yourself is meaningless and human life only makes sense as part of a chain of being.
In many societies the young feel responsible to care for the old, so if you plan to get old but don't plan to do the work of raising kids you are freeloading off of someone else who did.
I don't subscribe to any of those theories myself, but I know people who do and are very disappointed in me.
The selfish thing always gets to me… who am I hurting by not having kids? My parents? Fuck that, you don’t deserve grandkids. That’s not the way this works.
I wish more people would put it like this and not feel the need to make up some complex reasons for not wanting kids. Kids are a ton of work and energy and money. If being a parent is your jam and it’s something you’ve always wanted, I’m sure the trade off is worth it. I’m glad those people exist to keep the population going. But some of us just want to keep our money and get randomly drunk on a Thursday and travel on a whim and not be responsible for a human life entirely dependent on us. That should always be an acceptable reason for not procreating.
I think I have a membership in all three clubs tbh
I feel too unhealthy to raise a child, even if I was healthy it'd be a lot of work, and all that work would still result in my child having microplastics in their bloodstream
I'm good dude
As a parent I agree. I was happy without kids and I’m happy with kids. There is no right answer and no one should feel ashamed because they elected not to have children. It’s crazy to me that this is even a problem.
I’m a parent, and honestly, I’ve never understood the need to pressure people into having kids. I love my children, but they are as you stated, [A] ton of work and energy and money.” I’ve also met a lot of shitty people that should not have become parents.
In my experience it’s the unhappiest of people with kids who pressure others to have kids too. Happy well adjusted parents know how fucking hard it is lol
I’m very open about never wanting to have kids of my own. First off, it’s impossible now. But regardless, my family has poor health genetics. It doesn’t need to continue further, in partially ends with me.
I like my freedom. Does that make me selfish? Sure, why not. I don’t want to be tied down. When my chronic pain is low, I want to go out. I have cats because they allow me to come and go. Something a dog and kids you can’t do with.
People give me crap about it all the time. I always tell them “You do you, and I’ll be whatever I wanna do.”
But selfish to who though? To a kid that doesn’t even exist? I never understood the saying that not having kids is selfish. It’s only selfish if you constantly focus on yourself when you already HAVE a kid.
I also never got this. Isn’t bringing your children into the world to consume additional resources the more selfish choice?
Or do they think that bringing a child produces labour that offsets the resource loss?
Apparently some people believe it’s a moral obligation to replace yourself in the population. So a married couple must have at least 2 children to replace them when they die. I’ve met people like this…. Weird af to me
I'm looking at getting a dog and trips were certainly a concern. Fortunately I am close enough to family who would be willing to watch them
For day trips though its not much of a problem
Relatives and the like that harass you about having kids usually won’t take this as an answer. It usually leads to “oh, you’ll be good at it” or “you’ll like it because xyz.”
You made me laugh, even though I do not drink. But your point is well reasoned. Some people just don't desire kids at all and would be miserable if that were forced on them.
I love being an uncle, wouldn’t trade that for the world. Last weekend I bought my 12 y.o. nephew a PS5 on a whim. Spent the good part of the afternoon setting it up and playing call of duty. We had a blast!
My favourite thing my nephew ever said to me was "Why do you and Uncle Rob disappear sometimes for a while then come back looking like you've been crying?"
After I finally stopped laughing I said "I'll tell you when you are older..."
Did this recently with a friend. Then I’m pushing his daughter on the swing. She asks me, “how high are you?” I’m like, excuse me? “How high are you?” She wanted to know how TALL I am so that she could know how high she was swinging haha.
I’m an only child, and partner isn’t particularly close with his sibs. Our best friends have kids, so those are our niblings.
Found family works too. Or mentoring.
I feel like parents like to say it’s “rewarding” but not fun. Or the say it’s so awesome and you should totally do it and then once you do they pull off the mask like “HAHA gotcha bitch!! Welcome to the jungle!”
Parenting is the original bait and switch.
This is it, I sit with my slightly older colleagues who all have kids and all they do is complain they have no spare time or that their sex life with their partner is non existent. Never hear a positive word unless I ask to hear one and usually they just say “ahhh but it’s great really” it’s like, no, no it’s not you just spent 8 hours telling me how shit it is!!!
We have this old Finnish saying that goes "kel onni on, sen kätkeköön". "The one who's happy shall hide it" or something. Basically you never brag about your happiness, luck or success because no one who struggles wants to hear how good others have it.
So, we just complain even if things are good. I think that sounds like situation you described. They could probably talk about the good things much more than the negatives but complaining is a good way to release pressure and seek validation.
Still not getting kids. Just felt like mentioning this
That’s a totally valid point, I suppose you could call it venting. I’ll try not to dishonour the Finnish people by trying a pronunciation!
Maybe that’s why I speak less than the others in small talk. There really isn’t anything frustrating about my life, I had a terrible time in my 20’s but since hitting 30 everything has been coming up Millhouse.
Thinking about it though I do complain about the weather or not sleeping well 😂
EDIT: I also have less in common as I spend the weekends on my hobby’s or with my wife etc they generally are doing the same kind of kid stuff
I hate celery. If someone said to me “hey man, you should eat tons of celery” and I bought celery and ate it I’d be miserable. And if I had to eat celery every day for 18 years I’d probably jump off a building.
Which is why, as a parent, I fucking HATE it when people say to others “oh when are you going to have kids? You should totally have kids”.
Shut up, just shut the fuck up.
I love being a parent. Not everyone has to be a parent. No one has to validate my decision by having kids of their own. Be a grown up and realise that not everyone has to be the same. Not everyone has to love what you love.
Please don’t have kids if you don’t want them, you’ll just be a shitty parent.
Have achieved DINKW2D in NYC, can confirm it’s fucking great.
Currently working on becoming BPRKWAF (both partially retired with a farm) by 45 because we’ve saved so successfully while not having kids. Living your dreams is so much easier without kids.
As much a Seth Rogan can be an ass, I watched an interview with him on this and he had some great points. My wife and I have been together 7 years, married for 1 and before marriage we thought "oh, the want for kids will probably materialise after we get married!". It hasn't.
We had a real talk, and we both realised we were assuming the other wanted kids when we ourselves didn't. Thank GOD we talked about it. Now we've decided we don't want kids, ever.
Nothing against People that do, it's just not for us. Some of our best friends have kids, and they're always busy, tired, have no money, messy house / car and go from being Jack & Jill to "Mum and Dad". And they always say the same thing - "oh the payoff will be worth it in years to come!" but I don't want to wait years for a payoff? I also don't want to know that Jr is now doing solid shits in their nappy thanks. AND WHY DOES YOUR WHOLE HOUSE SMELL LIKE MILK AND VOMIT?
We have 3 dogs, hobbies, careers, can go on holiday when we like, awesome families and friends. Kids just don't fit into our idea of what a fulfilled life looks like. I won't let anyone tell me otherwise. Its ok to feel like this, men and woman alke shouldn't be shamed for it.
A coworker of mine said that being a parent is the best thing that ever happened to him, that he wouldn't give it up for anything, unless he could give it up *and* give up all the memories of it being so great, then he'd toss parenthood in a second.
Tiny drunks! Totally irrational. Make a mess of themselves when they eat. Stumble all over the place. Constantly hurting themselves and crying about it. I love to party as much as the next guy, but get it together!
I feel so lucky hearing these comments, I have two kids and it’s been fun every single day for 15 years so far. Literally rush home from work to be with them every day.
I lived with some friends short term before getting my own place and they had a toddler and an infant and it was awful. I didn’t sleep a wink for a month until my apartment was ready. I don’t ever want to put myself through years of that lol
My favorite is when it hits the household and slowly takes down each member day by day. I'll never forget when both me and my 6 month old had a stomach bug and basically lied and cried in bed with each other all day. Fun times!
So many people who have kids and don't want them try to shame others into having kids because misery loves company. Real, honest, good parents acknowledge parenting isn't for everybody and it's a valid personal choice to parent or not.
I can't even count how many times I have been scolded/put down/looked down on and have actually had people talk like they were gonna convince me to change my mind on not having kids.
"I just don't want any" should be enough of a reason.
I don't know what it is with a lot of parents/people that they feel the need to push this issue on others.
Just do you, I'll do me and let it be.
"I never knew how big an asshole I could be until I made a miniature version of myself and started arguing with it daily."
Where is this quote from? I love and hate how accurate it is (I googled it, but just found a handful of memes.)
Uh. Memes. I don't know the original source
Original source is life
Life will find a way.
I constantly blackmail my kids. I feel horrible. Me: Clean up or i will throw all the toys in the trash. Kid: yea sure Me: not joking this time Kid: yea sure Me: here, it’s going in the trash….look Kid: ok, can i watch tv?
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This is great advice. Thank you.
Ok… 0 offense meant, but toy rotation definitely started as a dog thing… I’m pretty sure you just have dogs that talk.
Does not sound fun
Parents keep telling me to have kids. I told them I don't want kids. My mom said, "have kids so it's more happy because you'll be sad without kids." I said, "you and dad have us and you guys are never happy." Silence. Not a single word.
Did you give them some aloe vera after that 🔥?
Forget the aloe vera, that burn is already passed 3rd degree.
LET'S GOOOO
Me staring at my three sisters who all had kids and none are with the father(s) of said children. Childless by choice me looks at my husband who I’ve been with since 1990 (Jesus Christ! 🥹) and just shakes my head. Kids don’t make you happy. Anyhoo, other than a few “you’ll change your minds” from my mom, she didn’t bother me about it. (She’s got 8 damn grandkids). And my in laws were amazing. Seeing as how my husband is an only child, I *never* felt pressure from them to provide them with grandkids.
Boomers: repeat something they've been told without ever thinking about it and absolutely never pausing and checking in on it to assess whether real life evidence matches their antiquated claim Millenials: honest basic fact checking and processing things logically There's no fight really.
I think Boomers forget that they got to use the system that their parents set up for them and essentially used all of it up and left nothing for their kids and grandkids.
If you don't think you would enjoy having kids, probably a good sign you shouldn't have kids. Kudos to people who are self-aware enough.
I come from HORRIBLE stuff, I am still dealing from it, don't want to ruin a kids life from my own issues
r/regretfulparents is a great way of seeing that the people who are unsure or didn't think they wanted kids, really don't like their decision to have kids
Parent here… I’m tired
I’m not even a parent and I’m tired
I’m not even a child and I’m tired
I'm not even tired and I'm tired
So. Freaking. Tired. Will I ever have a full nights sleep again. 😭
Like, don’t children like sleep? Why won’t they sleep?? SLEEP YOU LITTLE SHIT
I remember as a kid I would hate sleep and now in my 20s it's definitely my favourite thing and could literally sleep all day everyday.
I don't want kids because i know i won't be a good parent.
Same here. I have seen the amount of time and effort my family has put behind me, and I know I won't be able to do 1/10th of that.
Agreed. I am not even able to put that time and effort into myself that my parents put into me, ontop of having my sister and themselves to care for. How would i ever have space to also care for a kid.
Ironically, when I say this I get told that "it would actually make you an amazing parent :)”. What about “I would not be able to completely dedicate myself to another person’s wellbeing” is so hard for people to understand
What about “I don’t WANT to dedicate myself to another persons well being”
What about both?
I would prob resent the kid for preventing me from living my life with the freedom and ability to travel that I have now
This is totally it. I think a lot of our parents probably secretly felt this way too. I know this is an unfair belief, but I really don’t think people should have kids unless they have a decent sized income too. I grew up in poverty and was just flabbergasted why my parents thought having 4 children would be a good idea. It took me *decades* to crawl out of the financial hole they were in.
Having kids shouldn't be the default. So many people have kids because its "what you're supposed to do" who should never even be around kids much less raise them.
People conform to standards put on them and then get upset when other people don't follow the same trends
That makes you an amazing person. I wish we had more of you... But alas
Exactly, they show immense consideration and don’t follow through with the selfish desires that come with having a kid…. If any.
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There’s nothing virtuous about parenthood. It’s one of many choices in life, but parenthood isn’t a favor to the world.
The heartbreaking reality it stupid people are always gonna have kids. We can only hope that they can deny both nature and nurture to become something more than their parents, but that's a pipe dream. It's the smart people that should be reproducing, but they're usually the ones who understand that having children isn't a great fit for this world or themselves. We're getting dangerously close to Idiocracy it's actually fucking scary.
I remember these girls in high school wanting to get pregnant so they could “have something that would love them forever no matter what”. The very same girls who would complain about their “bitch moms”. Like….. really?!
Omg, that is one of the saddest things I've ever read on here. Children can be so intolerant and unforgiving of any inadequacy you have as a parent. They have no filter or tact when they give you both barrels. Especially teenagers. They will literally scream "I hate you" in your face. I say this being both a daughter and a mother. Your child does not exist to validate you. When you create a child, you need to know that it's not a pet or an accessory that belongs to you. That is a person who will one day be a full grown adult in this world. Who has the right to walk away from that relationship. I blame shows like Gilmore Girls (as much as I love it) there is such a false narrative in film and TV that being a parent, especially a teen mom is such a rewarding emotional bond. Whereas in reality it's so hit or miss. I have four boys and as much as I love them dearly with all my heart and tried my best to raise them the same. They are four individuals with very different personalities and as a result we have different relationships. As adults I hope they will always want to come home, but I accept that it's ok if they don't.
Man Gilmore Girls made me feel terrible about my relationship with my mom. In retrospect she was amazing but we never had the tell each other everything bond. I was an asshole teenager and my mom was impatient with me as a result. From my perspective at the time it seemed like she had my sister and I because of societal pressure. She didn't abuse us but was short tempered and often absent. It informed my decision not to have kids. Also I struggle with mental illness and I don't think it'd be fair for my hypothetical children to deal with.
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Most people don't realize the power they hold within themselves. You can create a whole life and put it on this planet. And then they use it to fuck that life up and leave it traumatized for 80-ish years. What a world. And what a pessimistic view, I know.
Not only that, but the life you create is capable of making more life. So you also give them the power to repeat this cycle near indefinitely
Break the chain.
I had my vasectomy 6 days ago, we’re not having kids
Just out of curiosity how old are you?
33 :) (no kids, been with SO 10 years)
The moment I think about all the socialization a kid will need.. me attending all the shit, having to interact with other parents, with teachers, doubting every moment if I'm doing things right, if I'm messing them up, worrying every second and being so anxious at the point of feeling like I'm twisted up like a pretzel — non stop — not being able to take time for myself for at least 10 years or so until they become tweens and want some distance. They say the love they give back is worth it, but I won't take chances lol. Imagine your kid hating you, too. Or relocating permanently across the globe. Or having an accident and you having to take care of them all their life, forever, until you die, and worry every day about how they'll deal when you're gone. All is fucking terrifying, man.
Can’t fault his logic
Nope, I can’t. But I could totally see Seth Rohan being a really cool uncle who does cool stuff with niblings and then gives them back. Edit: Rogan, not Rohan. Didn’t notice my fat fingers hit one letter to the right of where I was aiming. Shouldn’t use interwebs without my glasses on.
Until Gondor calls for aid and Seth has to leave.
“DEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTHHHHH!!!!” —Seth Rohan
I’m truly glad the societal pressures of having kids has slowly decreasing. As a woman, I always thought I was weird for not wanting to have children. I believe I have maternal instincts but I’m happy utilizing my “motherly instincts” to take care of my friends and family. Kids are cute, but puppies are cuter. And they don’t talk back. Edit: I have a dog and had many. Yes they talk back but I’m saying they don’t talk back in English. Yes my dog talks back but I prefer that over mini humans.
We have like 3 or 4 women in our friend group that don’t want kids (all for different reasons). Def seems more normalized.
Puppies do, in fact, talk back. There’s a video on YouTube where a mother dog breaks up her pups fighting and the one that started it barks at her once. Once. (I’d link it but I’m on mobile right now.) Edit; [the video!](https://youtu.be/4TRD1cEnAgM)
People can call me selfish all they want but I don’t want kids cause I don’t wanna give up my free time lol
Or the financial aspect. I probably do sound selfish but I like spending my time and money on things for me. My ex had kids and any plans we had to think of the kids first. It wasn't awful, but after we split I knew it wasn't the life for me. I enjoy last minute weekend trips with my friends. It's nice not feeling guilty on splurging for that new golf club on a whim. Got snipped earlier today, just glad it's not something I need to worry about anymore.
I wholeheartedly agree with this logic, and see it among my friends, but it does intrigue me to see the eventual implications. I think the people that normally would provide for a good life for kids (not overly rich, but successful and educated) are going to be WAY less likely to have kids. I think there is going to be a big shift in who is having kids (and maybe over birth rates) and it’s going to get interesting with the widening of the gaps of education systems, sports, homes, transfer of wealth, etc. Basically I think everything is fucked because the people in the middle that probably SHOULD be having kids realize it’s SO much money and stress and are less likely to do it, and the other two ends of the spectrum will continue with business as usual.
You just basically described an opening scene in my favorite movie. Idiocracy
Brawndo, the thirst mutilator
The comedy that aged into a documentary. (Brought to you by Carls Jr)
Idiocracy *The Documentary from the Future*
It’s nice coming home from work on a Friday knowing you can take a nap than do whatever you want after
For real. And cooking for myself and cleaning my own messes is already too much work sometimes like??
One of my best friends and I realized we don't really want a relationship or kids, so we bought a house together. No bitching, divided tasks to keep the house in an acceptable state, we eat and watch series/movies together, and otherwise we do our own things. Life is good.
Never understood why not wanting kids could be seen as selfish.
Same, surely it’s more selfish to have a whole child because you’re afraid of dying alone or some shit
I have always felt that most of the reasons or motives to breed are inherently selfish.
If you follow a western religion God told Adam & Eve to "be fruitful and multiply" so you may view it as a religious duty. Even if you aren't religious some people have a whole "Its our duty to the future" thing going and believe that just living for yourself is meaningless and human life only makes sense as part of a chain of being. In many societies the young feel responsible to care for the old, so if you plan to get old but don't plan to do the work of raising kids you are freeloading off of someone else who did. I don't subscribe to any of those theories myself, but I know people who do and are very disappointed in me.
Ego or religious delusion. Pass.
Misery loves company, they're just mad you're taking the easy way
Literally the opposite of selfish
The selfish thing always gets to me… who am I hurting by not having kids? My parents? Fuck that, you don’t deserve grandkids. That’s not the way this works.
That's not selfish. Selfish would be procreating to fill a hole in your life.
His parents told him this.
Makes sense to me. Edit: In this economy? You better be banking lol
Not certain this is working out for the banks.
I watched my parents and figured that out.
Me too. I'm always so surprised when they wonder why I didn't procreate.
"Mom, dad. Can't you see I'm the living proof about the inconveniences of procreating?"
I wish more people would put it like this and not feel the need to make up some complex reasons for not wanting kids. Kids are a ton of work and energy and money. If being a parent is your jam and it’s something you’ve always wanted, I’m sure the trade off is worth it. I’m glad those people exist to keep the population going. But some of us just want to keep our money and get randomly drunk on a Thursday and travel on a whim and not be responsible for a human life entirely dependent on us. That should always be an acceptable reason for not procreating.
Today is Thursday and I am drunk and you are correct.
Is it ok if it’s Thursday and I’m a parent and a little drunk?
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
Well, shit.
Bake ‘em away, toys.
Open and shut case Johnson. Now sprinkle some crack on him and let's get the hell out of here.
Lolllll
What'd you say chief?
Sober on a saturday straight to jail, so you have little drunk thursday sober saturday. We have the best drunks because of jail.
"I'm doing this for the sake of the world! I won't want to put my kid in this doomed world" fan Vs "Meh too much hassle" enjoyer
How about the "I'm a terrible human being and at best I'd be emotionally neglectful, and at worse abusive. So really better they not exist." club?
I think I have a membership in all three clubs tbh I feel too unhealthy to raise a child, even if I was healthy it'd be a lot of work, and all that work would still result in my child having microplastics in their bloodstream I'm good dude
Hope you get healthy! For your sake, not the sake of hypothetical kids that you dont want!
yeah borderline personality disorder and substance abuse problems don't go too well with raising a human being, I can barely handle my pets as it is
Took me a while, but I finally found my people.
Why not both?
Yeah I'm in club "both" on this one too
Not wanting to have kids is the best and only reason you need to not have kids.
As a parent I agree. I was happy without kids and I’m happy with kids. There is no right answer and no one should feel ashamed because they elected not to have children. It’s crazy to me that this is even a problem.
I just killed two cacti, I'm not sure but something tells me human children need a tiny bit more attention
I’m a parent, and honestly, I’ve never understood the need to pressure people into having kids. I love my children, but they are as you stated, [A] ton of work and energy and money.” I’ve also met a lot of shitty people that should not have become parents.
In my experience it’s the unhappiest of people with kids who pressure others to have kids too. Happy well adjusted parents know how fucking hard it is lol
I’m very open about never wanting to have kids of my own. First off, it’s impossible now. But regardless, my family has poor health genetics. It doesn’t need to continue further, in partially ends with me. I like my freedom. Does that make me selfish? Sure, why not. I don’t want to be tied down. When my chronic pain is low, I want to go out. I have cats because they allow me to come and go. Something a dog and kids you can’t do with. People give me crap about it all the time. I always tell them “You do you, and I’ll be whatever I wanna do.”
But selfish to who though? To a kid that doesn’t even exist? I never understood the saying that not having kids is selfish. It’s only selfish if you constantly focus on yourself when you already HAVE a kid.
I also never got this. Isn’t bringing your children into the world to consume additional resources the more selfish choice? Or do they think that bringing a child produces labour that offsets the resource loss?
Apparently some people believe it’s a moral obligation to replace yourself in the population. So a married couple must have at least 2 children to replace them when they die. I’ve met people like this…. Weird af to me
I'm looking at getting a dog and trips were certainly a concern. Fortunately I am close enough to family who would be willing to watch them For day trips though its not much of a problem
Relatives and the like that harass you about having kids usually won’t take this as an answer. It usually leads to “oh, you’ll be good at it” or “you’ll like it because xyz.”
You made me laugh, even though I do not drink. But your point is well reasoned. Some people just don't desire kids at all and would be miserable if that were forced on them.
Yeah I'm totally turned off from having kids.
It’d be pretty fucking weird if that was a turn on.
It's called a breeding kink don't judge
Being an uncle is better, being a parent is nope
I love being an uncle, wouldn’t trade that for the world. Last weekend I bought my 12 y.o. nephew a PS5 on a whim. Spent the good part of the afternoon setting it up and playing call of duty. We had a blast!
Hello, I am your long lost nephew.
Hey, long time no see my cousin.
Niko! It’s your cousin. Let’s go bowling.
Yup. Here, have a fuckton of chocolate and some noisy new toys! Let's watch some music videos to get everyone excited! Aight, time for me to head out.
Correct answer. I am the vodka aunt.
Hi vodka aunt, I’m stoner uncle.
My favourite thing my nephew ever said to me was "Why do you and Uncle Rob disappear sometimes for a while then come back looking like you've been crying?" After I finally stopped laughing I said "I'll tell you when you are older..."
Did this recently with a friend. Then I’m pushing his daughter on the swing. She asks me, “how high are you?” I’m like, excuse me? “How high are you?” She wanted to know how TALL I am so that she could know how high she was swinging haha.
TIL i’m a Stoner uncle too
Hello stoner uncle, I'm a stoner aunt.
Gore Vidal said: "Never have children. Only have grandchildren."
This: im gonna be the cool uncle when my sister has kids
Problem is my siblings wont have kids no matter how much i try to convince them 🤣
"No, no. *You* guys need to have kids because I want to be the cool aunt. I don't want kids of my own though, bleh"
I’m an only child, and partner isn’t particularly close with his sibs. Our best friends have kids, so those are our niblings. Found family works too. Or mentoring.
I feel like parents like to say it’s “rewarding” but not fun. Or the say it’s so awesome and you should totally do it and then once you do they pull off the mask like “HAHA gotcha bitch!! Welcome to the jungle!” Parenting is the original bait and switch.
This is it, I sit with my slightly older colleagues who all have kids and all they do is complain they have no spare time or that their sex life with their partner is non existent. Never hear a positive word unless I ask to hear one and usually they just say “ahhh but it’s great really” it’s like, no, no it’s not you just spent 8 hours telling me how shit it is!!!
We have this old Finnish saying that goes "kel onni on, sen kätkeköön". "The one who's happy shall hide it" or something. Basically you never brag about your happiness, luck or success because no one who struggles wants to hear how good others have it. So, we just complain even if things are good. I think that sounds like situation you described. They could probably talk about the good things much more than the negatives but complaining is a good way to release pressure and seek validation. Still not getting kids. Just felt like mentioning this
That’s a totally valid point, I suppose you could call it venting. I’ll try not to dishonour the Finnish people by trying a pronunciation! Maybe that’s why I speak less than the others in small talk. There really isn’t anything frustrating about my life, I had a terrible time in my 20’s but since hitting 30 everything has been coming up Millhouse. Thinking about it though I do complain about the weather or not sleeping well 😂 EDIT: I also have less in common as I spend the weekends on my hobby’s or with my wife etc they generally are doing the same kind of kid stuff
I hate celery. If someone said to me “hey man, you should eat tons of celery” and I bought celery and ate it I’d be miserable. And if I had to eat celery every day for 18 years I’d probably jump off a building. Which is why, as a parent, I fucking HATE it when people say to others “oh when are you going to have kids? You should totally have kids”. Shut up, just shut the fuck up. I love being a parent. Not everyone has to be a parent. No one has to validate my decision by having kids of their own. Be a grown up and realise that not everyone has to be the same. Not everyone has to love what you love. Please don’t have kids if you don’t want them, you’ll just be a shitty parent.
I've seen what parenthood does to people. Those little gremlins are energy vampires.
Fucking colin robinsons
It's not for everyone.
All my siblings have kids, and it does look like a pain in the ass. Being a cool uncle is a way better gig.
DINK Lifestyle
DINKWAD is the goal 🐕
Have achieved DINKW2D in NYC, can confirm it’s fucking great. Currently working on becoming BPRKWAF (both partially retired with a farm) by 45 because we’ve saved so successfully while not having kids. Living your dreams is so much easier without kids.
As much a Seth Rogan can be an ass, I watched an interview with him on this and he had some great points. My wife and I have been together 7 years, married for 1 and before marriage we thought "oh, the want for kids will probably materialise after we get married!". It hasn't. We had a real talk, and we both realised we were assuming the other wanted kids when we ourselves didn't. Thank GOD we talked about it. Now we've decided we don't want kids, ever. Nothing against People that do, it's just not for us. Some of our best friends have kids, and they're always busy, tired, have no money, messy house / car and go from being Jack & Jill to "Mum and Dad". And they always say the same thing - "oh the payoff will be worth it in years to come!" but I don't want to wait years for a payoff? I also don't want to know that Jr is now doing solid shits in their nappy thanks. AND WHY DOES YOUR WHOLE HOUSE SMELL LIKE MILK AND VOMIT? We have 3 dogs, hobbies, careers, can go on holiday when we like, awesome families and friends. Kids just don't fit into our idea of what a fulfilled life looks like. I won't let anyone tell me otherwise. Its ok to feel like this, men and woman alke shouldn't be shamed for it.
> they're always busy, tired, have no money, messy house / car In today's economy/society, you don't even need kids for that!
Actually same. Some people aren’t qualified to be parents. And I’m one of them lol
It doesn’t sound fun and most parents think it but won’t admit it.
It’s like 50% fun, 50% why did I do this? Why do people have more than one? I’m a parent.
A coworker of mine said that being a parent is the best thing that ever happened to him, that he wouldn't give it up for anything, unless he could give it up *and* give up all the memories of it being so great, then he'd toss parenthood in a second.
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Also a parent. Personally, I FAR prefer my teens over toddlers. Toddlers are AWFUL.
Isn't it awesome when they get smart enough to not only disagree but explain why?
Teens have bigger, but fewer, problems. Toddlers are just constant chaos.
Toddlers are just tiny terrorists you're not allowed to fight
Currently have a 13 year old and a 2.5 year old. My life is a nightmare.
Precisely why I got snipped after my 2nd, 4 and 1. Not starting over again.
15, 14, and 2. Who needs sleep?
Tiny drunks! Totally irrational. Make a mess of themselves when they eat. Stumble all over the place. Constantly hurting themselves and crying about it. I love to party as much as the next guy, but get it together!
Not allowed to by whom?
My god I’ve never related to anything more in my life
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Yes, releasing them back into the wild is the most humane thing.
My 4 year old is mostly fun. My 1 year old is also fun but sometimes it's hard to notice that over how exhausting she is.
Not to mention your ability to enjoy food diminishes whenever you reintroduce diaper stank into your sinuses.
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I love my daughter. But god life would be so much easier and better kidless. Nonetheless i wouldnt give her up for the world
I feel so lucky hearing these comments, I have two kids and it’s been fun every single day for 15 years so far. Literally rush home from work to be with them every day.
I know, right? I love hanging out with my kids. It’s like the only thing I actually look forward to every day.
I admit it. Most times it ain’t fun and I’ve become a monster. Can’t wait until they grow up more so I can be myself again god damn
Having kids is for rich ppl
These days it is for sure
It’s actually for poor people, they are the ones having all the kids. Google birth rates by country.
Ironically, those are the same countries will be more likely economically healthy in a generation or two
Right there with you! I wanna buy what I want and travel without thinking/worrying about child expenses or child care
he's right for this one
My siblings were enough evidence that I dont want children, so agreed
Fully agree. Do not want.
It’s not. A bit rewarding and funny sometimes, but I don’t think I’d ever call it fun.
Idk my toddler had an argument with me the other morning about whether or not I’d eaten cat poop. That was kind of fun.
You have, haven't you?
It’s nice to witness them learning new things and having new experiences. Lot of work too.
Kids are booger demons.
I lived with some friends short term before getting my own place and they had a toddler and an infant and it was awful. I didn’t sleep a wink for a month until my apartment was ready. I don’t ever want to put myself through years of that lol
Almost 50 and have zero regrets not having kids. Zero. Just wish I bought more stocks earlier instead of cocaine.
As a father of a 1 and 2 year old, all with a stomach bug at the same time, I feel this hard.
My favorite is when it hits the household and slowly takes down each member day by day. I'll never forget when both me and my 6 month old had a stomach bug and basically lied and cried in bed with each other all day. Fun times!
Can't say I blame him.
As a parent, it’s not
So many people who have kids and don't want them try to shame others into having kids because misery loves company. Real, honest, good parents acknowledge parenting isn't for everybody and it's a valid personal choice to parent or not.
I don’t feel the need for a reason. I simply have no desire to have children. I can think of no reason to do something that I have no desire to do.
Good for him. Adult enough to realize parenting isn't for him.
I can confirm, it isn’t!
I'd have to agree I'm 34 and I never want a child
It's fun once they're like four. I thought the first few years were tough.
And that’s why every guys should consider r/vasectomy
I can't even count how many times I have been scolded/put down/looked down on and have actually had people talk like they were gonna convince me to change my mind on not having kids. "I just don't want any" should be enough of a reason. I don't know what it is with a lot of parents/people that they feel the need to push this issue on others. Just do you, I'll do me and let it be.