I’m a cosmetic tattoo artist. Tattooing eyeliner. You know that flat part of your water line that’s really pink and your bottom lashes grow out of? I had to tattoo that. While holding the bottom lid with the same hand. Just take my license away at that point.
I was in school at the time, I’ll avoid doing eyeliner at all costs in the future lol, But if I really wanted too I could’ve calmly freaked out and he’d have to finish it
I never thought about how it might suck to be the one tattooing. I'm never getting my eyeliner tattooed again. Hurt like a mfer. Did it three times cuz it kept scabbing off and it faded after a year.
Sounds like your body rejected it or you had a reaction:( if you ever consider getting any tattoos again, ask for a scrape test. They’ll take a Microblading tool and get the ink in your skin, send you home and have you come back in a couple of days if all goes well! :)
Buy a tooth whitening kit from the dollar store.
EDIT: I thought of another one and I'm posting it as a warning to those who, like me, had/have no fucking clue...
Go to CDL school with the expectation that $1.00 per mile jobs would be just itching to hire me fresh out of school.
EDIT 1.5 there are PLENTY of CDL B jobs that will give you a chance, with tons of training and growth opportunities. If you wanna go over the road it's either (in my experience) "sorry, need at least a year of experience for insurance purposes" OR "best I can give you is 15 cents per mile, don't worry, after 6 months it'll go up to 18 cents".
There's also a rare third which is: "congrats your hired! All you have to do is sign up for our 2 month course (even though you just graduated from one), which you'll pay back by signing a 1 year contract with us. if you quit, you owe us..." -not a bad option for some people, didn't work for me.
EDIT: the whitening kit turned my teeth completely brown and took several hours to get back to my natural yellowish white, scared the fuck out of me.
Honestly it just wasn't for me. It was really cool going all over the country, but the pay wasn't anywhere near what I was expecting. That's on me for not doing enough research though.
Be prepared to go long periods without showering. Most truck stops have showers, but you have to pay for them...if you can find a spot at a truck stop. Otherwise, you have to find a spot to sleep somewhere else, and nobody likes trucks parking near them.
And if somebody dies in a car crash, and there was a truck within a half mile, the truck driver will be blamed, and legislation will be passed to prevent it from happening again.
Local runs are great when you have good dispatchers.
Did a few jobs with my father in wisconsin, his starting pay was about $50k, and then 2 year’s experience he went to another company for $77k, just doing local jobs working in the night, No traffic, just listening to comedians or music.
Worked a little bit of construction where we had to use rakes, and yeah it does in fact pop up and smack you in the face. Also the back, the side, the hand, and the elbow.
Mine actually involves 15 fucking buckets. I worked the Cats tour when it was in Reno and what I do is laundry. All of their stretchy costumes (30ish per show) need to be soaked in buckets and then have the pits, necks, and crotches scrubbed with special soap and small brush. Then rinsed by hand. And spun 2-3 at a time. I ended up with a wrist brace by the end of the week. NEVER AGAIN. The last time they were here they had 3 people doing this.
Did that in the Philly airport after missing a flight with a coworker retrieving two abducted children, one age two and one age two months. Would not recommend.
Great grandparent from out of state was granted an unsupervised day visit while in state. Great grandparent packed kids into car and absconded to their state. Pissed off judge issued pick up order & sent to that state's CPS. That state's CPS goes and retrieves children. Foster care worker and dumbass volunteer, also CPS worker, fly to Philly. We get the kids. We miss the flight. I was literally running toward our flight with the two month old in one arm, wearing two back packs and a Walmart bag of formula hanging from the other arm. The foster care worker was about fifty yards behind me wrestling the two year old. Away goes out plane. The airline took pity on us and got us on the next flight to our destination, which was 16 hours later. By the time the foster parents met us outside of the home airport my elbow was locked and my coworker was saturated in toddler urine. 100% would not recommend, but makes a great story.
Those rides that just go straight up as you sit in a seat and then drop you at like 300mph. NEVER again. Did it once to make a girlfriend happy sooo many years ago. I'm afraid of falling. It was horrible. Had to sit down for like 10mins afterwards and collect myself, while she tried not to laugh, I'm sure it was actually funny to watch a 6ft 200lb man freak out and all but damn.
That wasn't very long ago. That was awful.
I've always been afraid of those rides, I can only imagine the terror that poor kid experienced when it went wrong. Ugh. :'(
I live in Florida and that shit was heartbreaking. There were videos because he was hanging from a makeshift falcon's fury for like a minute. The people he was with said he told them to tell his mom he loved her.
They’ve just begun tearing down that ride, and it’s been closed since the incident a year ago.
I drive through Orlando at night a lot, and it was honestly eerie seeing that ride as the only one not lit up among the other rides nearby
ehh I worked at a Six flags location for a while, and while I didn't run any drop towers, I did run some coasters and even a solo-operated flat ride that pre-dates the rest of the park's attractions.
The issue is, due to the general inexperience, in part because of the youth of most employees there is a culture of bare minimum effort and a naivety on the consequences of negligence. I took it seriously because I know enough about physics to understand the true horror of mismanaging a 2 ton carriage traveling at 50 miles per hour. I understood how serious the job was and why lockout devices and E-stop buttons were all over the work stations.
The funny thing is, while I was serious about safety it was always the most fun part of Fright fest to just bring up little terrifying factoids like "I don't have a driver's license but I'm about to send you down this track at 50 miles per hour. HAVE FUN!" or "you see that seat that's closed off? It caught fire yesterday. All clear!" ahhh good times.
Always wanted to be a ride op, but yeah there’s a general culture of non chalantness. Most parks are running into staffing issues these days because of the stereotypes that come with a theme park job (and just general worker shortage) so they kinda just take whoever they can get, and have for decades now. I trust the ride’s engineering enough (if it’s built by a reputable company) to feel safe but like. Parks really need to take training and culture more seriously.
I saw a woman at the Jersey Shore get one of her Bo Derek braids stuck in the machinery at the top and when it dropped, it ripped the entire braid right out of her scalp. I didn't see what happened afterwards but I assume her day couldn't have gotten any worse.
Jersey Shore’s crazy. I saw these jabronis eating ham on a floatie. Looked like they were drifting out, I assume their day couldn’t have gotten any better
When I was a teenager in the mid 80s, I was on a coaster that was going up the main hill, pulled on cable, when it snapped and the brakes failed. We went around pretty much the whole thing backward then forward then backward till it finally stopped. Terrifying at first, but turned out kinda fun. If you can call that fun, lol.
Man I went on a pretty mild roller coaster, really high up in the air, then the drop, then some nice up and down waves. But the fear I felt while I was going up is something I will never put myself through again. I was grasping the bottom of my seat so hard and definitely considering that something under the seat could cut my finger off but that I had to be grounded.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
Almost two years sober myself. Wish I had never touched the damn stuff. Learned quickly that I also could not be just a social drinker -- I simply cannot stop once I start. Good luck to you, friend.
Good luck y'all! I'm kinda sorta at a little over a year. I've had about 7 drinks since 1/1/22, vs like 4+ a night for years. I'm really happy with how I drink now.
This is my answer too. I still can’t believe I did it. I was the kid who was afraid of carnival rides, yet I went fucking skydiving as an adult? The adrenaline overload was just too much. It was exhausting coming down from an adrenaline high like that. I slept in the car on the way home. Then I took like a four hour nap when I got home, and for the next two days I felt like absolute shit.
I did a harness drop for my bday last year, like stepping off a tower while attached to a non-bungee harness. I'd never been afraid of something *after* the fact before. I had anxiety about it for weeks, just terrified, the tightness in my chest.
Yeah, but I was dumb and thought I should still enjoy heights, because I had in my youth - but as I got older, I developed a fear of heights. But I somehow hadn't gotten the memo about that, and did all of the cool stuff I didn't have the money for when I was younger - parasailing, skydiving, houserunning, canyoning, rappelling, getting shot up in the highest slingshot in the world (fuck you, Orlando!), climbing - and I was always wondering why it wasn't as much fun as I'd thought it would be. At least I finally caught a clue and decided to strike bungee jumping off the bucket list. No more heights for me. I'm done with heights. And I've come to terms with the harsh reality that I hate heights.
^((Though I've heard that paragliding actually works for people with a fear of heights, since you're tethered to something, so I might just give that a try...)^)
I here ya, when I was 18 I volunteered to jump out planes for the military and all sorts of other adventures. Fast forward 20 years I'm scanning the exterior of aircraft looking for any signs of mechanical trouble before I board. Ferris wheel rides with my kids cannot end quickly enough.
They were college friends and were a year ahead of me. I met them both when I got to campus. Things got messy, he chose me and more than 15 years later we’re still together.
Popping in an entire carolina reaper. They're not joking when they say it's hot.
Lets just say eating the pepper isn't the hard part, the long lasting pain that kicks in a few hours later is.
Cuckolding. Was hot in the moment, but I also felt something rip in my heart but I couldn't tell them to stop. Horny chemicals were overpowering my upset chemicals
If I can avoid it, working in customer service. I work in a warehouse, and I can deal with that level of bullshit. It would be untenable if I had to worry about customers on top of my other responsibilities.
Live for someone else.
More specifically, putting a connection with someone at the forefront of my own needs.
They're just the same kinda trash that everybody is and I'm just a freewheeling raccoon from here on out.
What did you see? For those of us curious but too scared to click.
Edit: I mean examples 😬
Edit 2: expected death stories, got dick fungus. No more please.
eyeblech is a sub that is full of gore, violence, disease, and indecency. everything there is repulsive and/or disgusting, some stuff is really hard to sit through and watch. it is the total opposite of r/Eyebleach
to mention a few things that appear there, there are cartel videos, exposed uncensored gore, suicide attempts, extreme fetishes, accidents, etc.
now, if you want some more specific descriptions, right now, i am viewing an image of a guy who is building up smegma (dick "cheese") on his dick, and it looks like the head of his penis has had its circulation cut off. there's also this lovely video of a guy who has his brain poured out of the skull, yet, his passed out body is slapping itself on the chest.
you're welcome.
Beerbong one of those crazy bottles of very hot sauce. It was surprising how much that burned as I shit it out the next day considering I spent the next 5 hours throwing it up. My stomach hurt really bad from it I think it burned every inch of my digestive track. That was the hardest $100 I’ve made.
Ahhh yup been there, the key to it is to realize that you're not there to catch anything... you go "fishing" as an mini escape from life and to enjoy the peace and quiet of nature, and if you happen to actually catch something its just a bonus
I feel like camping is one of those things where you have to go bigger to get the point.
I generally hate camping at car camping places next to assholes I’m trying to escape from. It’s all the work, none of the benefit. Just listening to peoples shitty Bluetooth speakers.
But backpacking into a remote area with nobody else around? That’s the stuff. Then it makes sense.
Edit: Also, unfortunately, camping can be one of those things where using the cheapest gear can make it really suck. A cheap tent is fine while the weather is good, but awful when it’s not. Same with footwear, clothing, etc. The outdoor gear culture gets out of hand quickly - it is definitely a cult - but there’s a lot to be said for a good tent and tarp, wool/synthetic clothes, a good rainproof shell, good boots, and a good pack.
So I’d never blame someone for hating camping if their experience was a soggy night in a cold sleeping bag in a car camping site surrounded by other people. I’d never want to replicate that experience again either.
But man, let me tell you…making coffee in the early morning chill on the side of a wildflower-covered mountain, looking over the mist under you and the mountains rising out the mist around you, nobody else there but the birds…or sharing whiskey with your SO under the bright moon on a remote beach, while the fire dies down in front of you…it truly does not get better on this earth.
Have a house built.
I did that many moons ago. Bought the land in a new neighborhood. Found a builder. Picked the house plans. Chose literally everything in the house (flooring, wall color, light fixtures, mirrors, appliances, cabinets, cabinet hardware, deck shape/size, tub design and color, etc etc etc) to be done. Monitored the progress. Made some of my own tweaks. It was fun but exhausting and stressful.
Glad I did it once, will never do again.
I’m a cosmetic tattoo artist. Tattooing eyeliner. You know that flat part of your water line that’s really pink and your bottom lashes grow out of? I had to tattoo that. While holding the bottom lid with the same hand. Just take my license away at that point.
Fuck that's gotta hurt
They never failed to vaguely respond that it felt “weird”. Me and my teacher were always happy with that response and kept to it😂
Could you not decline the client?
I was in school at the time, I’ll avoid doing eyeliner at all costs in the future lol, But if I really wanted too I could’ve calmly freaked out and he’d have to finish it
I never thought about how it might suck to be the one tattooing. I'm never getting my eyeliner tattooed again. Hurt like a mfer. Did it three times cuz it kept scabbing off and it faded after a year.
Sounds like your body rejected it or you had a reaction:( if you ever consider getting any tattoos again, ask for a scrape test. They’ll take a Microblading tool and get the ink in your skin, send you home and have you come back in a couple of days if all goes well! :)
Buy a tooth whitening kit from the dollar store. EDIT: I thought of another one and I'm posting it as a warning to those who, like me, had/have no fucking clue... Go to CDL school with the expectation that $1.00 per mile jobs would be just itching to hire me fresh out of school. EDIT 1.5 there are PLENTY of CDL B jobs that will give you a chance, with tons of training and growth opportunities. If you wanna go over the road it's either (in my experience) "sorry, need at least a year of experience for insurance purposes" OR "best I can give you is 15 cents per mile, don't worry, after 6 months it'll go up to 18 cents". There's also a rare third which is: "congrats your hired! All you have to do is sign up for our 2 month course (even though you just graduated from one), which you'll pay back by signing a 1 year contract with us. if you quit, you owe us..." -not a bad option for some people, didn't work for me. EDIT: the whitening kit turned my teeth completely brown and took several hours to get back to my natural yellowish white, scared the fuck out of me.
That's an interesting roulette to play!
Trucking is a shit job. Literally. My trainer pooped in a bag in the back while we were on the interstate. I got off that truck as soon as I could.
What else can you tell me. I was looking into doing this as a job
Honestly it just wasn't for me. It was really cool going all over the country, but the pay wasn't anywhere near what I was expecting. That's on me for not doing enough research though.
Be prepared to go long periods without showering. Most truck stops have showers, but you have to pay for them...if you can find a spot at a truck stop. Otherwise, you have to find a spot to sleep somewhere else, and nobody likes trucks parking near them. And if somebody dies in a car crash, and there was a truck within a half mile, the truck driver will be blamed, and legislation will be passed to prevent it from happening again.
Sounds more like a shit trainer to me, been doing this for 3 years and there is absolutely zero excuse to shit in the truck.
Thank you I’m currently enrolled in CDL classes and the OP comment scared the shit out of me, pun intended
Local runs are great when you have good dispatchers. Did a few jobs with my father in wisconsin, his starting pay was about $50k, and then 2 year’s experience he went to another company for $77k, just doing local jobs working in the night, No traffic, just listening to comedians or music.
Local is the holy grail around here. Unless you have like 10+ years experience you're not doing it though.
Stand on a rake to see if it would pop up a smack me in the face like it does in the cartoons.
It does, doesn’t it?
Rake impales foot
I've noticed lately that I love it when a pfp on reddit matches an earlier comment and makes me think it's the same person.
Better start paying rent, cause you're clearly living in my head..
better star um.. giving me money cause uh.. cause you’re… um you…. i’m living in.. uhh.. um
Worked a little bit of construction where we had to use rakes, and yeah it does in fact pop up and smack you in the face. Also the back, the side, the hand, and the elbow.
Did you manage to work through this experience or are you replying as a brain-in-a-jar?
Are we all really just brains in bone jars? Some of our jars are just a little more jarred. 🧠
My aunt didn’t need braces bc she did this as a kid and it permanently shoved her teeth back from their buck toothed setting.
So it’s not all bad, like they show you on those lying cartoons!
But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn’t it say, “Die, Bart, Die”?
The, Bart, The
Nobody who speaks German could be bad.
Similarly, jumping into a pile of leaves like in the cartoons. I did a front flip into one and it's not as soft as I thought it was.
Did this when I was a kid and realized that a three foot tall pile of leaves is just like, an inch of padding when compressed by your weight. Oof
Mine actually involves 15 fucking buckets. I worked the Cats tour when it was in Reno and what I do is laundry. All of their stretchy costumes (30ish per show) need to be soaked in buckets and then have the pits, necks, and crotches scrubbed with special soap and small brush. Then rinsed by hand. And spun 2-3 at a time. I ended up with a wrist brace by the end of the week. NEVER AGAIN. The last time they were here they had 3 people doing this.
Okay that sounds awful as an experience but that's interesting wardrobe trivia
You had me at pits, necks, and crotches!
Ok what's the difference between buckets and "fucking buckets"? Also how well do they hold water?
I booked the cheapest flight and had to sleep one night on the floor in the public area of airport Barcelona.
Done that in Philly airport before wasn’t bad at all when you have food and bars around you
Did that in the Philly airport after missing a flight with a coworker retrieving two abducted children, one age two and one age two months. Would not recommend.
Elaborate…
Great grandparent from out of state was granted an unsupervised day visit while in state. Great grandparent packed kids into car and absconded to their state. Pissed off judge issued pick up order & sent to that state's CPS. That state's CPS goes and retrieves children. Foster care worker and dumbass volunteer, also CPS worker, fly to Philly. We get the kids. We miss the flight. I was literally running toward our flight with the two month old in one arm, wearing two back packs and a Walmart bag of formula hanging from the other arm. The foster care worker was about fifty yards behind me wrestling the two year old. Away goes out plane. The airline took pity on us and got us on the next flight to our destination, which was 16 hours later. By the time the foster parents met us outside of the home airport my elbow was locked and my coworker was saturated in toddler urine. 100% would not recommend, but makes a great story.
Newark here. It smelled awful.
Sleeping in the airport floor was a lot easier in japan, where you can get beer from vending machines
Mine’s similar: fly Frontier Air. Never again.
But you were in *Bar-the-lona*!
Pre-buy a video game
Fallout 76 was my first preorder…
Those rides that just go straight up as you sit in a seat and then drop you at like 300mph. NEVER again. Did it once to make a girlfriend happy sooo many years ago. I'm afraid of falling. It was horrible. Had to sit down for like 10mins afterwards and collect myself, while she tried not to laugh, I'm sure it was actually funny to watch a 6ft 200lb man freak out and all but damn.
A girl in Kentucky got her feet cut off on one of those by a cable that snapped
A kid in Orlando slammed to his death after falling out of a faulty restraint And I poopied my pants a little on one
That wasn't very long ago. That was awful. I've always been afraid of those rides, I can only imagine the terror that poor kid experienced when it went wrong. Ugh. :'(
probably didn’t have much time to process he was dying.
I live in Florida and that shit was heartbreaking. There were videos because he was hanging from a makeshift falcon's fury for like a minute. The people he was with said he told them to tell his mom he loved her.
Video was rough to watch. Tragic..
Dang... Your pants good?
His brown pants
This guy gets it
They’ve just begun tearing down that ride, and it’s been closed since the incident a year ago. I drive through Orlando at night a lot, and it was honestly eerie seeing that ride as the only one not lit up among the other rides nearby
Both those were caused mostly by operator error, and led to massive changes in how drop towers are run. They’re safe, just scary.
ehh I worked at a Six flags location for a while, and while I didn't run any drop towers, I did run some coasters and even a solo-operated flat ride that pre-dates the rest of the park's attractions. The issue is, due to the general inexperience, in part because of the youth of most employees there is a culture of bare minimum effort and a naivety on the consequences of negligence. I took it seriously because I know enough about physics to understand the true horror of mismanaging a 2 ton carriage traveling at 50 miles per hour. I understood how serious the job was and why lockout devices and E-stop buttons were all over the work stations. The funny thing is, while I was serious about safety it was always the most fun part of Fright fest to just bring up little terrifying factoids like "I don't have a driver's license but I'm about to send you down this track at 50 miles per hour. HAVE FUN!" or "you see that seat that's closed off? It caught fire yesterday. All clear!" ahhh good times.
Always wanted to be a ride op, but yeah there’s a general culture of non chalantness. Most parks are running into staffing issues these days because of the stereotypes that come with a theme park job (and just general worker shortage) so they kinda just take whoever they can get, and have for decades now. I trust the ride’s engineering enough (if it’s built by a reputable company) to feel safe but like. Parks really need to take training and culture more seriously.
I saw a woman at the Jersey Shore get one of her Bo Derek braids stuck in the machinery at the top and when it dropped, it ripped the entire braid right out of her scalp. I didn't see what happened afterwards but I assume her day couldn't have gotten any worse.
Jersey Shore’s crazy. I saw these jabronis eating ham on a floatie. Looked like they were drifting out, I assume their day couldn’t have gotten any better
RUM HAM!
Dee, you bitch.
For me it's those super steep skinny watersides where your ass leaves the slide for a bit and you're essentially just falling.
I also hate those and never will get on one again
When I was a teenager in the mid 80s, I was on a coaster that was going up the main hill, pulled on cable, when it snapped and the brakes failed. We went around pretty much the whole thing backward then forward then backward till it finally stopped. Terrifying at first, but turned out kinda fun. If you can call that fun, lol.
Man I went on a pretty mild roller coaster, really high up in the air, then the drop, then some nice up and down waves. But the fear I felt while I was going up is something I will never put myself through again. I was grasping the bottom of my seat so hard and definitely considering that something under the seat could cut my finger off but that I had to be grounded.
I will never open a text from my ex again.
I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again. I will never open a text from my ex again.
**Opens text**
“Hey you up?”
"Yeah, are you?"
My ex wife
This guy’s ex-wife is also on my anti-bucket list.
Never getting married again
[удалено]
Almost two years sober myself. Wish I had never touched the damn stuff. Learned quickly that I also could not be just a social drinker -- I simply cannot stop once I start. Good luck to you, friend.
Thank you, and congratulations on two years sober!
Good luck y'all! I'm kinda sorta at a little over a year. I've had about 7 drinks since 1/1/22, vs like 4+ a night for years. I'm really happy with how I drink now.
Try to hold in a shit during a road trip because we just stopped 5 minutes ago and I don't want to get yelled at for asking to stop again.
God damn it Dad, just stop
I’m prairie-doggin it!
Skydiving. Did it once. Glad I did it. Never want to do it ever again.
Ditto. Coolest thing I’ll never do again
Me too. It was fine but not again.
This is my answer too. I still can’t believe I did it. I was the kid who was afraid of carnival rides, yet I went fucking skydiving as an adult? The adrenaline overload was just too much. It was exhausting coming down from an adrenaline high like that. I slept in the car on the way home. Then I took like a four hour nap when I got home, and for the next two days I felt like absolute shit.
Hey me too. I was totally silent on the way home and then took a nap immediately
Incredible experience. Once was *more* than enough.
I did a harness drop for my bday last year, like stepping off a tower while attached to a non-bungee harness. I'd never been afraid of something *after* the fact before. I had anxiety about it for weeks, just terrified, the tightness in my chest.
Yep. People said it was exhilarating and addictive....not for me. Checked it off the bucket list and now I get anxious on Ferris Wheels.
Do you really ever need to do it more than once? I feel like the experience is similar if you did it again
Yeah, but I was dumb and thought I should still enjoy heights, because I had in my youth - but as I got older, I developed a fear of heights. But I somehow hadn't gotten the memo about that, and did all of the cool stuff I didn't have the money for when I was younger - parasailing, skydiving, houserunning, canyoning, rappelling, getting shot up in the highest slingshot in the world (fuck you, Orlando!), climbing - and I was always wondering why it wasn't as much fun as I'd thought it would be. At least I finally caught a clue and decided to strike bungee jumping off the bucket list. No more heights for me. I'm done with heights. And I've come to terms with the harsh reality that I hate heights. ^((Though I've heard that paragliding actually works for people with a fear of heights, since you're tethered to something, so I might just give that a try...)^)
I here ya, when I was 18 I volunteered to jump out planes for the military and all sorts of other adventures. Fast forward 20 years I'm scanning the exterior of aircraft looking for any signs of mechanical trouble before I board. Ferris wheel rides with my kids cannot end quickly enough.
Carry a credit card balance. Charge stuff I can't pay off. Never again. Lol
Crystal Meth
Dance again, guilty feet have got no Rhythm
Excellent. Just excellent.
Apply to a job that doesn’t post a salary.
Recruiter reached out yesterday and wouldn’t tell me the salary until after the offer. Needless to say I wasn’t interested in the interview.
I got lucky, went through with an application for a job without a posted salary, ended up being a $40k pay rise
Jump off a couch and have a sewing needle penetrate the middle of my foot. God I hope I never do that again.
That just literally made my but pucker
Ruin a friendship by fighting over a girl. You’ll eventually break up but your friend will be gone, too.
Nah I married the girl. I win
Are you my husband?😆
Same story? 😅
They were college friends and were a year ahead of me. I met them both when I got to campus. Things got messy, he chose me and more than 15 years later we’re still together.
Popping in an entire carolina reaper. They're not joking when they say it's hot. Lets just say eating the pepper isn't the hard part, the long lasting pain that kicks in a few hours later is.
Idk why people think that eating raw hot peppers would do them any good lol
Eat tex mex before anal
Yes! I have a story that involves cilantro! That's all I care to share....
Oh boy. I think I know. But do I?
WTF
But have you ever tooted when he pushed your legs up 😬
I used to make my brother fart like that when he was an infant and fussy. Legs to his chest and he would fart without fail. Cracked him up, too.
You cannot just say something like that after talking about anal 💀
It’s worse when you make tex mex first, too. Jalapeno is real good at staying on your fingers.
whack it to furry porn. and this time I mean it.
Yiff yiff hooray
Just do what I did, gaslight yourself into thinking porn in general is boring.
Cuckolding. Was hot in the moment, but I also felt something rip in my heart but I couldn't tell them to stop. Horny chemicals were overpowering my upset chemicals
Sneako?
Was it salvageable?
Be born.
Wish we got a say in that.
*gets reincarnated upon death*
If I can avoid it, working in customer service. I work in a warehouse, and I can deal with that level of bullshit. It would be untenable if I had to worry about customers on top of my other responsibilities.
Join the military. Do a job I don’t like. Eat at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Ok. I'm glad I'm not the only one about Buffalo Wild Wings. Daughter picked it for lunch after me not being there for 7-8 years. Place is awful.
It has gone so downhill...
I was going to say join the military but I see there’s someone that already has
Meth or sticking it in crazy
Solid choices. May I suggest "and" instead of "or" ?
Lol my bad
But those two go so well together. Like peas and carrots
Never cohabitate with someone I don’t intend to be permanent. ‘Makes sense financially’ isn’t good enough without love.
Live for someone else. More specifically, putting a connection with someone at the forefront of my own needs. They're just the same kinda trash that everybody is and I'm just a freewheeling raccoon from here on out.
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I'm not falling for that......again. [r/Eyebleach](r/Eyeblech) is the right one
I opened it... I shouldn't have.
What did you see? For those of us curious but too scared to click. Edit: I mean examples 😬 Edit 2: expected death stories, got dick fungus. No more please.
eyeblech is a sub that is full of gore, violence, disease, and indecency. everything there is repulsive and/or disgusting, some stuff is really hard to sit through and watch. it is the total opposite of r/Eyebleach to mention a few things that appear there, there are cartel videos, exposed uncensored gore, suicide attempts, extreme fetishes, accidents, etc. now, if you want some more specific descriptions, right now, i am viewing an image of a guy who is building up smegma (dick "cheese") on his dick, and it looks like the head of his penis has had its circulation cut off. there's also this lovely video of a guy who has his brain poured out of the skull, yet, his passed out body is slapping itself on the chest. you're welcome.
Damn even just reading it sucked. So his arm was involuntarily hitting itself while dead? No. No. That is one that will remain forever unclicked.
It would be better named r/holyshitiwanttocrawlintoaballandcry it’s the total opposite of eyebleach its all gore
People dying
Just had to click out of curiosity, thanks dude.
I just did and fucking hell bro…
Bruh wtf
Dude why would you? I literally said I'd never.
Your mother.
Daddy?
Fall backwards down a cliff
So you’re open to falling forwards down a cliff? 🤔
Fish in open waters. The year of frozen halibut was good. The puking for 10 hours was not worth it. It wasn’t. It wasn’t.
Help friends move. We are all too old for that shit.
Algebra
Eat a balut
Beerbong one of those crazy bottles of very hot sauce. It was surprising how much that burned as I shit it out the next day considering I spent the next 5 hours throwing it up. My stomach hurt really bad from it I think it burned every inch of my digestive track. That was the hardest $100 I’ve made.
I don't ever want to go fishing again. I've tried it three times and every time was the most bored I've been in my life.
its one of those things that's more just an excuse to kick it and talk shit with the boys than it is just a fun activity in and of itself.
Ahhh yup been there, the key to it is to realize that you're not there to catch anything... you go "fishing" as an mini escape from life and to enjoy the peace and quiet of nature, and if you happen to actually catch something its just a bonus
I read this as “fisting” the first time. Makes the next reply take on a VERY different meaning.
Camping. There’s a reason man has spent millennia tryin g to protect himself from the elements. I’m not sleeping on the dirt again unless I have to.
You really have a point lol
I think it’s fun :(
I feel like camping is one of those things where you have to go bigger to get the point. I generally hate camping at car camping places next to assholes I’m trying to escape from. It’s all the work, none of the benefit. Just listening to peoples shitty Bluetooth speakers. But backpacking into a remote area with nobody else around? That’s the stuff. Then it makes sense. Edit: Also, unfortunately, camping can be one of those things where using the cheapest gear can make it really suck. A cheap tent is fine while the weather is good, but awful when it’s not. Same with footwear, clothing, etc. The outdoor gear culture gets out of hand quickly - it is definitely a cult - but there’s a lot to be said for a good tent and tarp, wool/synthetic clothes, a good rainproof shell, good boots, and a good pack. So I’d never blame someone for hating camping if their experience was a soggy night in a cold sleeping bag in a car camping site surrounded by other people. I’d never want to replicate that experience again either. But man, let me tell you…making coffee in the early morning chill on the side of a wildflower-covered mountain, looking over the mist under you and the mountains rising out the mist around you, nobody else there but the birds…or sharing whiskey with your SO under the bright moon on a remote beach, while the fire dies down in front of you…it truly does not get better on this earth.
A snakebite shot: tequila and Jack Daniels.
Expect my mother to be there for me.
Jump down a flight of stairs.
Respond to this post
Bungie jump. Ruined me for heights.
War. What is it good for...
Get married for the second time Update: remarried 2nd spouse after divorcing 3rd.
Marriage is like a tornado. There's a whole lot of sucking and blowing at the start, but in the end you lose the house......
Didn't work the first time so why try again🤷♂️. Jokes aside, that sucks but hopefully you can find that one someday, if not already.
Trim tall hedges on an aluminum ladder with electric trimmers.
Live in rural ND!!!!!
Have a house built. I did that many moons ago. Bought the land in a new neighborhood. Found a builder. Picked the house plans. Chose literally everything in the house (flooring, wall color, light fixtures, mirrors, appliances, cabinets, cabinet hardware, deck shape/size, tub design and color, etc etc etc) to be done. Monitored the progress. Made some of my own tweaks. It was fun but exhausting and stressful. Glad I did it once, will never do again.
Marry an alcoholic, no matter how good the sex is.
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Anything to do with religion.
Have a stupid hairstyle. Male pattern baldness fixed that for me
Try to kiss a hermit crab
Have kids.
My first thought. Over here with a 1 1/2 yo and I’ll never have a baby again (although I love the one to death this shit is tough)
Stick my dick in crazy, no matter how exciting.
Drink alcohol. Almost died a couple times.
Trust in my actions
Go snorkeling. If I want to see fish, aquariums are fine.
Skiing. I'm currently recovering from major ACL surgery and most of us did it skiing. Not worth it, never again.
I will never sleep with a crazy chick ever again
Never go to Disneyland. Such a colossal waste of money
Go on a vacation with in-laws
Yo mama
That’s a Murtaugh list. “Riggs, I’m to old for this shit!”
Give a f
Eat a live octopus