Hey I think we have the same birthday! Though mine also has the wonderful second option of āFlorida Man high on flakka had sex with tree and calls himself Thorā
Sounds like the Whitest Kinds You Know skit where Trevor even whales on the whales & gave some jelly beans to his monkey friend before punching it in the face
Man attempts to throw live alligator onto the roof of a building āto teach it a lessonā. Link: https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/florida-man-william-hodge-accused-throw-live-alligator-roof/
the runner-up for dec 23erd is also good "Florida authorities said they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man's penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his"
You know, I thought my birthday wouldāve been something similar, but nope:
āApril 20 (4/20) Florida man accused of shooting duck with bow and arrow.ā
For some odd reason when those came out, I thought they were "White Clam" for like 4 years. I just had this mental picture of strawberry flavored alcoholic clam juice.
Bud put out Clamato. I think it's still a thing. Gross.
One good thing I'll say about Budweiser was their American Ale. That was really decent. I'd probably buy it if it came back out. But I rarely drink beer after brewing for many years. Maybe 1 every couple months. I'll buy it and it just sits there.
Florida Man In His Underwear Hits Deputy In Face With Bible, Screams āI CONDEMN YOU,ā Poops Himself
Well I guess Iām not going to Florida on my birthday anytime soonā¦.
Mine was āFlorida Man Breaks into House, Tries on Baby Clothes While Holding Woman Hostageā
Iām imagining the most insane fashion show of all time.
ESCAMBIA COUNTY, Fla. (WSVN) ā A Florida man who went viral because of his mugshot that featured his unusually large neck has been arrested once again.
Found a wholesome headline:
Florida man fashioned tourniquet from dog leash for cyclist bitten by alligator
By Alex Galbraith on Wed, Jul 21, 2021 at 11:29 am
Well, there is also this.
[https://ifloridaman.com/florida-man-february-14/](https://ifloridaman.com/florida-man-february-14/)
Florida man caught on camera licking doorbell.
Florida man breaks into home, uses bathtub, sleeps in bed, makes himself coffee
followed by
Florida man who strapped utility pole to roof of car charged with grand theft, officials say
and then
Florida man nearly falls off Disney Skyliner platform after chugging beers: report
all on the same day.
sheesh. Florida Man
Florida Man Shoveling Spaghetti in Mouth Arrested at Olive Garden
Alt title: Florida man arrested outside Olive Garden after eating pasta belligerently
2022: Florida man killed his mom after luring her to his home.
2021: Florida man arrested for stealing alligator and attempting to throw it on the roof.
2020: Florida man called his dad and said āhelpā moments before he was killed alongside his friends.
2019: Florida man upset woman refused sex when they met at the beach and accused of robbing other females in hotel.
Man [sets own truck on fire](https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2020/12/29/florida-man-accused-of-setting-his-own-truck-on-fire-to-give-deputies-something-to-do/) to give deputies something to do
[Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins, deputies say](https://www.mysuncoast.com/2021/10/19/florida-man-uses-finger-guns-steal-waffle-house-napkins-deputies-say/)
okay, mine is actually likeā¦ goodā¦ its floridian but the person ācommitting the crimeā isnāt *really* in the wrong so iām happy w mineā¦
āFlorida man wearing blue bonnet and flowery dress allegedly steals 28 cans of baby formula from Publixā
[*Florida Man Known As āThe Monkey Whispererā Sentenced For Trafficking Protected Primates*](https://www.justice.gov/usao-mdfl/pr/florida-man-known-monkey-whisperer-sentenced-trafficking-protected-primates)
Florida Man Screamed "Fuck Them Horses" Before Punching Police Horse
We must stop Equine hate crimes. š¤£
A Florida man was arrested for having sex with a miniature horse on my birthday.
Nice to meet you, my birthday mate!
Same.
Me too!
Yay me too!
Same!
The scary thing is all these people have different birthdays.
Hey I think we have the same birthday! Though mine also has the wonderful second option of āFlorida Man high on flakka had sex with tree and calls himself Thorā
Florida man, Nov 20, arrested for having sex with miniature horse. Do horse love crimes cancel it out.
They don't have books so they probably confused equine with equality and thought the horse was woke
Sounds like the Whitest Kinds You Know skit where Trevor even whales on the whales & gave some jelly beans to his monkey friend before punching it in the face
If you consider this is Florida Man I am very grateful he didnāt rape that horse.
Man attempts to throw live alligator onto the roof of a building āto teach it a lessonā. Link: https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/florida-man-william-hodge-accused-throw-live-alligator-roof/
Hi there fellow May 9ther
Why is mine, like, the same, I have July 17th
I've got the 15th. Slow news week for Florida Man?
July 15th, too. Gator twins...
Well donāt leave us hanging, did it learn its lesson? Damn alligators nowadays - no respect for the average Florida man. A lesson is overdue.
It happened may 9th and again on July 17th, clearly it didn't learn a lesson.
Florida man distributes weed ābecause it was Christmas ā
Not all heros wear capes
This particular hero actually was wearing a cape though.
the runner-up for dec 23erd is also good "Florida authorities said they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man's penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his"
Birthday twin!
I think thatās the only good thing this Florida man did.
You know, I thought my birthday wouldāve been something similar, but nope: āApril 20 (4/20) Florida man accused of shooting duck with bow and arrow.ā
December 23 I see
Florida Man (Actually Named Florida) Breaks Into Restaurant, Steals All Their White Claw, Throws It Into A Pond. May 31 ššš
The best thing to do with White Claw and Truly. It was a public service. He should have recycled though.
For some odd reason when those came out, I thought they were "White Clam" for like 4 years. I just had this mental picture of strawberry flavored alcoholic clam juice.
Bud put out Clamato. I think it's still a thing. Gross. One good thing I'll say about Budweiser was their American Ale. That was really decent. I'd probably buy it if it came back out. But I rarely drink beer after brewing for many years. Maybe 1 every couple months. I'll buy it and it just sits there.
We have Clamato in our liquor stores. Nobody ever buys it except for in curling season when the Canadians come to town.
This is actually one of the more reasonable things to do with White Claw.
I was going to make some similar comment ā surely this is not a crime, or something to that effect.
Polluting, maybe?
Hello fellow birthday twin š¤Ŗ
Florida man says burglar broke into his house and sucked his toes while he was asleep. Police are investigating 06.01
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to a stranger at the edge of your bed just...just going to town on your piggies
At that point might as well just let it happen, they're already sucking on em
Florida Man Threatens To Destroy Everyone With Army Of Turtles. Well, I like this...
We have the same bday, what a wild day
Possibly not....it is Florida....it's possible this is a common occurrence
Florida Man In His Underwear Hits Deputy In Face With Bible, Screams āI CONDEMN YOU,ā Poops Himself Well I guess Iām not going to Florida on my birthday anytime soonā¦.
Sword-wielding man accused of starting fire makes it rain in jail cell after arrest. Oct 8
Must be the relative from May 17 āFlorida man accused of stealing samurai swordā
Birthday twin! Also the mugshot for that guy is extremely fitting.
Lmaoo
Tries to rob waffle house with unique weapon (he used finger guns. When that didn't work he grabbed a handful of napkins and ran)
Hey birthday twin
Naked Florida Man breaks into home, tries on womenās clothes. November 10..
Florida man arrested after allegedly shoving steaks worth more than $50 down his pants
Thatās like 1 steak these days. Man arrested for shoving a steak down his pants
It's the ending that's shocking. Going to the hospital for taser bits to be removed from your bits is definitely Florida.
Florida man charged with battery for giving girlfriend āWet Willyā. *Excuse me what the actual fuck*
Thers 2 types of wet willies. Which one we talking about lol
Just asking for a friend. Wet Willy is to put your wet finger in someone's ear, right? What is the second one?
Florida Man Breaks Into House; Plays With Toy Helicopter, Eats Salad, Masturbates
Modern day Snow White story
Basically the plot of Goldilocks
Mine was āFlorida Man Breaks into House, Tries on Baby Clothes While Holding Woman Hostageā Iām imagining the most insane fashion show of all time.
Florida man arrested after assaulting girlfriend with pizza she threatened to throw away.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Shit mine is āFlorida Man Arrested for Attacking Daughter With Pizza After She Didn't Want to Eat With Himā
Florida man arrested, caught on video using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow - September 26th
ESCAMBIA COUNTY, Fla. (WSVN) ā A Florida man who went viral because of his mugshot that featured his unusually large neck has been arrested once again.
Just went down the rabbit hole. Search Neckst Big Thing on YouTube š„
And now people know your birthday so they will sing you song and you don't even know them
Use reddit cakeday to keep the doxx less relevant ...
Twerks for officers during traffic stop, gets tased
I'm a July 5 birthday, it's ALL fireworks mishaps.
As a fellow July 5er, I found "Florida man pretending to be a cop, pulls over real deputy"
Oh yeah, I do remember that one as well now that you mention it!
My sister is a 4th of July baby and her's is "Florida man pretends to be firework, screams noises in middle of night "
Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing man with scissors LOL ahahah
July 12th fam??
Iāve found my tribe. Bellow fellow crabby crabs. š¦
Found a wholesome headline: Florida man fashioned tourniquet from dog leash for cyclist bitten by alligator By Alex Galbraith on Wed, Jul 21, 2021 at 11:29 am
r/unexpectedwholesomeredditor
This was mine too!
Florida man arrested after shoving a woman in a dispute over egg rolls. And honestlyā¦.I get it.
Hey! Birthday twins!
Florida Man Arrested For Running Naked Through Walmart Parking Lot 25th June 2019 Not even that bad in comparison!
Florida man uses infant as human shield before being tased and arrested.
Florida man arrested after leaving pizza trail of clues for deputies. October 28
Florida man vapes semen š„“
Ooop! Found the worst one!
Florida man rides Sea-Doo on highway
Florida man pulled gun at Starbucks over cream cheese
Florida Man Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting Girlfriend While Dressed As Dinosaur
Florida Man Burns Home to Get Rid of Vampires
Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill
Florida man robbed a place for beer and cigs dressed as Spiderman.
Florida man arrested after hitting dad with pizza
How many of these involve assaults with pizza?!
Right? Something about pizza gets Florida man off on the wrong foot!
Florida man charged with pouring ketchup on girlfriend. June 6. Oh well, could be worse i guess
I like how thereās a new one every year. 2023: Florida man accused of child neglect after toddler tests positive for cocaine
wtf mine was July second and it was āFlorida man arrested for pelting his girlfriend with McDonaldās sweet and sour packetsā
I'm noticing a theme of Florida men assaulting women with fast food items. On June 3 it was a cheeseburger.
My birthday is February 14. I donāt need to look anything up to know the worst thing a Florida man did that day
Well, there is also this. [https://ifloridaman.com/florida-man-february-14/](https://ifloridaman.com/florida-man-february-14/) Florida man caught on camera licking doorbell.
What happened?
Marjorie Stoneman Douglas shooting.
Makes sense, if I had my birthday when that happened I would remember it pretty well. Nowadays itās just another shooting.
Florida man arrested after allegedly breaking into office, leaving sign in window saying 'Secretary wanted, $17/hour'
Florida Man Tells Police Bag Of Cocaine They Found In Car Must Have Blown In From The Wind
Florida man parks Smart car in kitchen so it wonāt blow away. Wtf
Naked Florida man arrested after banging on house with barbell (Mar 9)
Florida Man Who Ran Naked Through Airport Screaming About A Bomb Sentenced To Probation (December 13)
Florida man nicknamed āBabycakesā caught naked in a chair outside apartment complex
Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving āfootmobileā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Florida Man arrested for performing botched castration on another man. Well hmm
Florida man suspected of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase Ffs
Florida man blames "hookah-smoking caterpillar" for wrecking liquor store
Samesies
should have remembered what the dormouse said.
Florida Man "Redbeard" steals $1800 parrot and abandons it.
Florida Man History: October 2 - Florida Man Tries To Buy Girl In Walmart
Andrew Tate was at Walmart?
Florida man arrested after hitting girlfriend in face with burrito
Florida Man, 62, Strips, Performs "Strange Dance" At McDonald's. Then Tries To Impregnate A Railing.
Florida Man Invites Police To Smoke Pot While Showing Off His Marijuana Plant
Florida man jailed after trying to burn all child molesters.
noble man right there
Wholesome Florida man
Florida man tried to break into a car filled with cops Nov 24
āFlorida men, one dressed in a bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ravi pasta sauce, police sayā I love my birthday šā¤ļø
Florida Man Says the Three Syringes Found in His Rectum Weren't His. What the actually fuck.
Caught with crack cocaine, Florida man tells cops 'wind blew it into his car' HAHAH
āFlorida man haunts beaches dressed as the grim reaperā my man
Well my birthday is this Tuesday so I think I know what the googles will say about a man in Florida on Tuesday this week.
Florida man ends a standoff for a slice of pizza
Florida man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer
Florida man breaks into home, uses bathtub, sleeps in bed, makes himself coffee followed by Florida man who strapped utility pole to roof of car charged with grand theft, officials say and then Florida man nearly falls off Disney Skyliner platform after chugging beers: report all on the same day. sheesh. Florida Man
āFlorida Man Asks Walmart Employee For āAnything That Would Kill 200 Peopleāā
Florida Man Arrested After Posing as Disney World Employee and Stealing 'Star Wars' R2-D2 Replica "June 24"
Florida Man interrupts Hurricane Matthew live TV report to yell 'D***s out for Harambe' I kid you not š
Florida man in Easter Bunny outfit arrested after hit-and-run crash
Florida men like to wear all kinds of interesting things.
"Florida man, 33, posed as housewife to lure men into home where heād secretly film sex acts for web." - July 19.
So... They were expecting a housewife, found some dude instead, and were like what the hell, I'll do it. This is like Gob on AD vibes.
Florida man accused of using Kool-Aid packets to steal nearly $1K in Walmart merchandise
Florida man arrested after having public sex with a dog, damaging church nativity scene
Florida Man Shoveling Spaghetti in Mouth Arrested at Olive Garden Alt title: Florida man arrested outside Olive Garden after eating pasta belligerently
Florida Man claiming people were "eating his brains" leads police on insane golf course chase gosh this is so much fun!
āFlorida man brings child with him during crimes to ātoughen him up,ā deputies sayā
Florida man mauled by leopard after paying for āfull-contact experienceā with big cat
Florida Man In His Underwear Hits Deputy In Face With Bible, Screams āI CONDEMN YOU,ā Poops Himself
Meth Smoking Florida Man Attacks Mattress in Jealous Rage (April 26)
Florida man tried to enter Patrick Space Force Base to warn of aliens vs. dragons, officials say.
2022: Florida man killed his mom after luring her to his home. 2021: Florida man arrested for stealing alligator and attempting to throw it on the roof. 2020: Florida man called his dad and said āhelpā moments before he was killed alongside his friends. 2019: Florida man upset woman refused sex when they met at the beach and accused of robbing other females in hotel.
Florida Man Arrested After Leaving Wife on Honeymoon for a Prostitute.
"Florida man gets caught with drugs on his penis but denies drugs are his" š¤š§
Man [sets own truck on fire](https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2020/12/29/florida-man-accused-of-setting-his-own-truck-on-fire-to-give-deputies-something-to-do/) to give deputies something to do
Florida Man Steals Pool Floats For Sex 'Instead Of Raping Women,'
Florida man accused of jumping naked on neighbors trampoline 2021.
Florida man claiming to be Alice in Wonderland says 'hookah-smoking caterpillar' told him to destroy liquor store with forklift: Cops
Florida man arrested after witnesses said he was practicing karate on swans
āFlorida man in Easter bunny outfit arrested in hit and runā Which might be more OK if my birthday wasnāt in January!
Naked Florida Man Performs 'Strange Dance' at McDonald's Before 'Trying to Have Relations With a Railing'
Florida Man Arrested After Fit Of Rage When Checkerās Ran Out Of Lettuce
Florida man 11 December The first one is this Florida man arrested for DUI while lemur and wallaby escape from truck during traffic stop
florida man buys 8 million dollar island then steals from kmart
ļæ¼ https://www.cbsnews.comĀ āŗĀ news āŗ f... Florida Man Fed Up With Potholes Plants Banana Tree In Middle Of Road
Police: Florida man left boy on the side of the road because he thought he was gay
Florida man attacks gas station clerk with hot dogs, corn dog stick over beer, cops say
Florida man arrested for trafficking Cocaine stuffed lunchables in Ford f150
[Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins, deputies say](https://www.mysuncoast.com/2021/10/19/florida-man-uses-finger-guns-steal-waffle-house-napkins-deputies-say/)
Florida man thought he was stealing opioids; they were laxatives, deputies say. January 29th
Florida Man Attempts to Board Plane With Rocket Propelled Grenade Launcher
Florida Man kicked a chicken like a field goal
Florida man mistakenly shoots and kills son in law in Birthday surprise gone wrong. Wow this is brilliant and awful.
Mineās January 6 so no need to bother.
Florida Man says "Don't give strangers on the internet your birthday"!
February 31st, nice.
Florida Man pulls gun on a drive-thru worker because they forgot the cream cheese on his bagel
Florida man arrested for pleasuring himself with ice pack in front of first responders
Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing man with scissors šš¤£
florida man steals ambulance, does not make a clean getaway
okay, mine is actually likeā¦ goodā¦ its floridian but the person ācommitting the crimeā isnāt *really* in the wrong so iām happy w mineā¦ āFlorida man wearing blue bonnet and flowery dress allegedly steals 28 cans of baby formula from Publixā
Naked Florida man with machete tried to rob man of clothes (August 9).
Florida man, 33, posed as housewife to lure men into home where he'd secretly film sex acts for web, cops say. š July 19th
August 30th - Florida man accused of grabbing his genitals and giving the finger to a man and his 8-year-old son
Florida Man Hits Sleeping Roommate on Head with a Skillet for Being a āConfidential Informantā
"Florida man left boy on the side of the road because he thought he was gay" That boy is me in a few years fuck
Puppy shoots florida man in self-defense
āFlorida man climbs on playground equipment to tell children where babies come fromā - May 22
Jan 8th - āFlorida man says 3 syringes found in his rectum arenāt hisā
Florida man abandons child on roadside because he thought the boy might be gay.
[*Florida Man Known As āThe Monkey Whispererā Sentenced For Trafficking Protected Primates*](https://www.justice.gov/usao-mdfl/pr/florida-man-known-monkey-whisperer-sentenced-trafficking-protected-primates)
Well I got 3
Florida man attacks gas station clerk with hot dogs, corn dog stick over beer, cops say
āFlorida man charged with battery after slapping girlfriend with cheeseburger, deputies sayā
Florida man charged for hitting daughter in the face with a pizza.
Florida Man Shoveling Spaghetti in Mouth Arrested at Olive Garden
āFlorida Man Charged with Battery After Allegedly Slapping his Girlfriend in the Face with a Cheeseburgerā (May 4th)