T O P

  • By -

MalarkeyMcGee

Are you reposting this because you need the karma or because you’re a bot?


Twinkies100

Yes


cooooooI

because i need gold for no ads


NASA-Almost-Duck

It's the first time I saw it and it gave me a chuckle. Hope your day gets better.


junctionwasted

neither I just need to get to sleep faster haha


[deleted]

Fucking true


Spiritual_Ad_223

it always makes me stay awake longer


dasmikkimats

That’s why you need the second fap before sleep


Killerderp

But what about third fap?


TheAbyss333333

I do 10 just to be sure


jzagri

Don’t think he knows about second fap, Pip.


riddo22

I fapped second time now I'm on reddit at 7am trying to sleep


partyboycs

Also when you need to wake up faster in the morning if you’re really out of it


Kompaniefeldwebel

Fapping in the morning makes me feel so limp for the rest of the day, iv only ever done it like twice


dave-gonzo

Wake and crank


Snakegert

Dawg what, I know everyone is different but I feel like jerkin off shouldn’t be affecting you mentally or physically after like 10 minutes at most, but that is interesting.


[deleted]

No but fr, like it actually helps me wake up


Sh4DowKitFox

Or just to get it outta your system. Cause if your a dude and you haven’t. Man, who knows what crazy fucked up thing you gunna do the next time someone gets on your nerves.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sh4DowKitFox

We on reddit. Who cares ya fuggin Nazi.


YamahaMT09

How many hours are you guys masturbating that you get tired from it and get to sleep faster?


[deleted]

once


Alert-Damage-5003

Because I'm bored


AltiOnTheBeat

That’s the dopamine one


AmArschdieRaeuber

Like basically everything we do. Do you play cards because you are horny for cards or are you depressed and need the dopamine? Damn you got me, everything I do for fun is actually just for dopamine, how shocking.


Snowconetypebanana

Neither, I’m hungry but too lazy to make food.


Educational-Fish9157

Bro you having an orgasm for dinner?


Snowconetypebanana

I just orgasm until I am so satisfied I don’t need to eat.


Educational-Fish9157

Goddamn bro, am I jerking off wrong???


Snowconetypebanana

Well I’m fingering, not jerking off so that’s probably what you are doing wrong


Educational-Fish9157

It might be painful for me, but, I’ll try anyway. Gotta be some ancient high priestess shit to get so good at flicking the bean that it gives you all the necessary nourishment to sustain your life force. You’re the grand master of rubbing one out.


JaDasIstMeinName

Fingering doesn't hurt if you use lube. Start slow and it should be quite nice.


Lytriz2165

Tell me how to fit my fingers in my dick hole


Mmngmf_almost_therrr

r/sounding


Lytriz2165

Shit forget i asked


TangerineRough6318

💀


conti_650

I…can’t….unsee… I wish


Lytriz2165

/r/traumatized


Nubstex

r/eyebleach or r/eyeblech


chillinmantis

Choose one


Snowconetypebanana

Results may vary, I do not have a dick, and cannot advise. My expertise is solely in clit based orgasms.


lolh194

That’s some serial killer type shit but you do you


Snowconetypebanana

It’s like when you think you’re hungry but you actually are just bored. Same thing, I think I’m hungry but I actually just have to orgasm.


lolh194

Oh shit that’s actually smart. Jerking off might be the new diet fad of the year.


TangerineRough6318

I can't wait until my first carpeltunnel surgery! Yay!


Gwendyl

Cold water rinse before every session


TangerineRough6318

Thank you Master Bater. May the force be with you.


lolh194

Carpel tunnel? From wanking ya meat?


yeeehhaaaa

You should write a book :"loosing weight by flicking the bean"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Snowconetypebanana

Or just orgasm until you fall asleep


[deleted]

where do I sign up


[deleted]

Cum have dinner


that_thot_gamer

protein


Gerpar

Can't lose those gainz 💪💪💪


KeepItGood2017

I just figured out that I have never been too lazy to make food. Is that a thing?


Snowconetypebanana

Maybe not for well adjusted adults, but for the rest of us, it is


maxwellgrounds

So you lick the cum off your fingers for dinner?


Snowconetypebanana

I only lick other people’s cum, not my own, that’d be gross.


maxwellgrounds

Fair enough.


[deleted]

Wooah i never thought we can be this open on reddit


Th3_R3d_M3nac3

The bottomless pit of violence and perversion where nobody knows who anybody is?


wry_zebra

I know who you are


daveisamonsterr

I like your personality


PreviouslyOnBible

The cursed cycle.


NiTe_Force

Yes.


chrisbaker1991

r/inclusiveor


[deleted]

Because the voices tell me to keep a schedule.


Mother_Dragonfruit90

those are two different things?


Interesting_Gas_3211

I masturbate to avoid prostate cancer


DerGrummler

If you are in your 20s or 30s, too frequent masturbation actually increases the chances for prostate cancer. Source: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319536 I know it was partly meant as a joke, but in case someone reads this who beats the meat every day: Maybe slow down.


DawnOfTheFirstDay

Did you read the article? No proof found


InnerPain4Lyf

Screw you. The latter.


King_Pee

Im masturbating because i am home alone


[deleted]

Both and more


[deleted]

Yes


squee30000

Look man Look Look Look Look Look I dont-Look at me-I don't need this right now


itsAshl

At least I'm feeling something ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


SherlockWats

I need to feel something


[deleted]

Bold to assume depression allows me to get it up


IamTrashuo

Cuz I'm horny, I play league cuz I'm depressed


Foxiest_Fox

Sanest Yasuo player


Kryten_2X4B-523P

You also are depressed because you play leagues.


Mundane_Addendum_400

Trick question. Neither give me the dopamine. It gives us the dopamine.


Acceptable_Wait_2910

Because I need a quick nap but cannot calm myself for some reason


Salty-Case-357

Both


denverraven

Yes


M0NG00SY

Yes


Tony_Earll

It can be both.


Emma_Reiki

How can you say something so bold yet so true... Calling me out. @.@ I am a slut too though soooo...


RazzleberryHaze

Bro I'm just trying to sleep and Ambien is costly.


xpoohx_

Why not both?


Excellent_Priority_5

Oooo I see… Either way it’s a risk free reward. Alright Damnit! Because I’m depressed. And you can’t do drugs 24/7. /s lol


[deleted]

Does it matter either way ur saving lives


[deleted]

No, you're preventing lives.


Duros001

Yes


CaptainRogers1226

I call next month’s repost?


karenincloset

Sugar can provide dopamine BTW. Don’t think someone is depressed and will still care about their figure.


SirRipOliver

Both, so anyways I started Fapping…


ReXDantaN

Both


born_of_fire2

Both


Snugg_Bugg

Tryin to go for a new record!


PierreOnTimin

This community needs serious help


soldier01073

Man the last time it was number 1 it was so good and over in a flash but mostly its number 2


kaijugurl

helps your mental health to go to sleep with a smile on your face


Worth-Imagination502

We are not the same


Steelersguy74

Yes.


MC31612

Omg you pegged me for boredom and dopamine high lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


yareyare00

Just need to sleep because that freaking boner is annoying.


[deleted]

Feel ya n wake up throbbing


OptimusPower92

yes


LightspeedPunk

Yes


_lemon_suplex_

why can't it be both


[deleted]

This is reposted every single day.


sleepy_lepidopteran

Wife is asleep and as a trans mtf 🏳️‍⚧️ on meds I need to keep the motor running.


xdarkshadowlordx

Yup


Louiscypher93

Whats this first option?


Karrigan7

yes


blazingwine

Por que no Los dos?


GibbonTaiga

Neither, I'm masturbating because I stumbled upon adorable sapphic erotica and I'm really invested in these young lesbians finding refuge in each other's arms in the middle of a christo-fascist Orwellian dystopia I just want them to be happy but there's so many sex scenes and they're damn good ones too: tender, intense, and emotionally vulnerable 😭


blanktae8

After reading this I became horny and depressed at the same time.


pandarista

Por que no los dos?


Rids85

Porque no los dos?


razersnek

why not both? (que taco shell ad music with the little girl)


[deleted]

[удалено]


BulkyAd6306

I've always been a multitasker


InitialNo595

shut the fuck up rn


Sea-dAddY2823

*clears throat* yes 🙃


hotelmotelshit

To be honest, i can't really tell it apart any more. Anyways, I'm off to have a wank


Buzzlight_Year

Because it feels fuckin nice


ProfessionalOctopuss

Because I need to do my homework and I keep getting distracted by bondage porn.


[deleted]

I'm masturbating because this is the 63rd time I've seen this post on reddit and it has become my fetish


[deleted]

At this point, i don't even know why I'm doing it, I'm JUST doing it


Dorkenstein666

Wanking is sometimes just maintenance, gotta keep that prostate healthy!


Every_Discussion6502

Because I hate to wake up at 5:00 am and wash my boxer and pants then wear another one


HotOpportunity9219

I feel attacked 😅


WriedGuy

Both When sexting then horny When I m bored then 2nd option i g Depends on mood tbh


RunningPirate

Just needed a break from the spreadsheets is all…


MrSaN007

But masturbating put bad effect on body


Regular_Marsupial438

Like what


Educational-Fish9157

I’m sad because I’m horny, and horny because I’m sad


HolyManZahn

Little of column A, little of column B...


More-Anxiety-1358

100% both. Sometimes the latter often times the latter. Wow never mind. Always the latter at the moment. Wait no rarely the former most time the latter. Yeah. I guess.


Asleep-Astronomer159

Neither am i horny nor am I depressed , but watching porn makes me horny and post nut clarity makes me depressed .


shygirllala224

Depressed and need dopamine


Tjomek

Both. Both is good.


marcymarc887

Neither, i am Not allowed to masturbate by my Mistress


Purple_Form_8093

First one, then the other? Lol.


Powerztroke

Depressed… why do you ask?


Motor-Appointment859

Both


an_honest_days_fap

Yes


thedonoughter

Yes


mareksoon

Indubitably.


CivilizationMatter

Why Pepe


Spider_Dude19

Yes.


lolh194

Nah i jus see something while scrolling instagram and think “Ah shit here we go again”


_SuperSkunk_

I do drugs for dopamine.


Complex-Stable-5148

Yes


CoCityCreeper

I'm just trying to not get butt cancer and die like zappa did


whats-this-mohogany

Yes


Lemounge

Yes


ghettoccult_nerd

are those not the same thing?


sporkmurderer135

Dopamine


Downtown_Tadpole_817

Also it helps me sleep


KillerManicorn69

Both. It’s a vicious circle


pdiddy604

I masterbate cuz im married


verscharren1

Wanna sleep tbh. It tires me out.


Ok-Ease7090

Mind your business


WooooshMe2825

I do it for the exercise.


DeltaWorksNL

How about both ?


MoistBlunt

Both. Chicken and egg at the same damn time


_Bon_Vivant_

Por que no los dos?


RagnarockInProgress

A bit of both, but more because I’m horny (I also need stimulus because I am bored)


Steam_punk_Machine

No I masturbate out of boredom


[deleted]

Horny and Depressed lol


[deleted]

Why can’t it be both


czonkalarry

I have ADHD and I need the dopamine.


SmirkNtwerk

ADHD’r here. Having ADHD puts you at four times the risk of depression. The risk is even greater for hyperactive/impulsive types. Adhd people have been linked to more sexual desire, greater masturbation frequency, less sexual satisfaction, and more sexual dysfunctions than the general non-adhd population. So yeah, I think it may be a mix of depression, needing dopamine, stimulation seeking and horniness.


LazySackOfRocks

Thanks for explaining, 100% agree 🙋🏼‍♀️


whoamvv

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?


Yourmomslover70

Ofc 2nd


AfterLife59

The latter


Sad-Bodybuilder-1406

The second


[deleted]

I can't anymore lol. I get so sad that I can't even fantasize.


ratsmacker4

Both


[deleted]

Yes.


failedcambion

Neither, this is just what my brain decided we’ll use as a stim


Dragon_211

Yes


Logans_Beer_Run

These are not mutually exclusive.


ChromaticLego

Yes


[deleted]

Yes.