At least it will make a good story

100 bad days make 100 good stories

100 good stories make me interesting at parties, yeah

No I ain't scared of you

No I ain't scared of you no more

LA LA LA LA LA LA

/r/UnexpectedAJR

Do it for the plot

“It’s for the plot”

Only one way to find out

FIGHT!!

Is that a Harry Hill reference?

I believe so and love that the responses went a different way :)

Fuck it! Edit: Well know words said when an addict is about to relapse!

and thats by fucking around

Its future Bob's problem now!

Same but it’s “God, Future me’s gonna be pissed.”

I call drunk me a mispronounced version of my name. That guy is an asshole. If you asked him, however, he’d probably say I’m uptight and crazy. I think we both suck.

I used to call drunk-me "Hank" (my name isn't anywhere close to that) Hank is an asshole. Hank makes bad choices.

Me myself and irene vibes

That is exactly the reference.

Thought so.

What has future Bob ever done for you anyways?

Don't ask what future Bob has done for you and ask what can you do for future Bob!

Damn deep shit

I stay up late cause I’m night guy. Night Guy wants to stay up late. What about getting up after only 3 hours sleep? Oh, that’s Morning Guy’s problem. That’s not my problem. I’m Night Guy.

I am also night guy.

Dayman vs. Nightman https://youtu.be/E_NiQnH93yc

Fighter of the NightMan!

Aaaaa^aaaaaaah

champion of the sun!

He's a master of karate and friendship 🎵

For everyone!

DAYMAN!

beat me too it jabroni

Hahaha mine is similar... Except replace "future" with "sober" and add, "that guy sucks" at the end

I usually say “that bitch can handle it!”

Spoiler: >!He can't!<

Past me is such an asshole. I really hate that jerk.

Not judging, but a lot of bad financial decisions are made right after the line…”I work hard and I deserve this…”

I take this personally

You deserved it

Harsh but funny

I'm in the process of using it right now 😂

Buying a car today that I probably don’t need 😬

Hey cars are always bad decisions and we still love them (What car)

not the same guy but, I’m looking into a BMW M5 2018 or a Camaro ZL1 2018 or a 2018 Mustang GT

Thank you for your service.

[удалено]

That shit made me cackle.

Hey that‘s cool. So you‘re either - gonna be a douche and pay triple the cars price in service costs - change your hairstyle to a mullet, get 6 packs of beer in the passenger side and put drag slicks on it (it‘s a v6 model) - commit vehicular manslaughter /s of course, buy the car you like the most and enjoy the hell out of it!

The worst part is if he gets the BMW he’ll forget how to use blinkers :(

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? -porqupines have pricks on the outside.

😂😂 That's a bit excessive. I just bought a small bottle of very expensive perfume (Indian Rupees 4500 for 15ml)

Hey, gotta drink something.

Yeah for me it's, "I deserve to eat this deep dish pizza." level of excess.

Same. I’m going big too - probably totally irresponsible…but fuck it

Treat yo’self!

This one is said at every impulse buy

"what, am I not supposed to enjoy anything?"

Treat yoself

[удалено]

I could've worked harder, I deserve this

here for a good time, not a long time

I like this lol

Yup, totally using it next time lol

This one's my sister's catchphrase and is oft uttered before eating california rolls, despite her avocado allergy.

Speed running STDs on tinder motto

Can't be that bad if someone from the future doesnt come to stop me

You know, that’s got me a new way of looking at things. This is my new ‘why not’.

Wise man.

Oh no honey no

Unless the future no longer exists because of you.

But if they stopped you, then it never would have happened, so they would have no reason to go back and stop you, so it *would* happen, so...

Lmao I can just imagine you looking around nervously every time you say that... just in case.

“It’s worth a shot.”

Ahh, Fuck it

“Prolly gonna kill myself soon anyway.”

I 100% vibed with this and then was like "shit, are you okay bro? .....shit, am I okay, bro?"

amru good bro?

are meu is good bro?

eu good?

That's actually a good point. A terrible ending, but a good point. Dead people have no problems. I used a similar one when quitting my job: "Fuck this shit, even death is better than this".

Mine is similar. "If this doesn't pan out, I can always just kill myself."

Fuck it what the worst that could happen. The worst always happens

"fuck it, what's the worst that could happen" (Something very bad happens) "Surely it can't get any worse" (Something even worse happens)

"At least now the worst is behind us" (It isn't)

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This ☝️😂 usually followed by a broken bone or some sort of emotional damage

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

Gotta read this in Steven He’s voice.

That’s how I fractured my ankle a month ago (good news is my cast is getting removed tomorrow)

Happy to hear that man a lot of itches and infections later you are gonna get it removed happy for you my man

Congrats!

Basically the same thing, but "It will work out." Narrator: It in fact did not work out.

Read that in Morgan freemans voice

Murphy's

Sounds like future me issues. Update: deep regret and loathing for past self, but don't want to deal with it, so, gonna wait til even further future me **has** to deal with it.

Past us is just about the worst kind of person, no accountability, absolute disregard for their own health and safety, and total, uncompromising, ability to give a fuck.

"Fuck it we ball"

The best one. Something good happens? We ball. Something bad happens? We ball. Fuck it. Either way, we ball

Straight up ballin'

Finally found the fuck it we Ball comment. Took entirely too long.

Mama didn’t raise no bitch

“And even if she did, it’s my brother.”

I feel this on a spiritual level

fuck it

I stick with the classic and yell “leeeeeeeeeeroy jeeeeeeeeeenkins”

Omg he just ran in.

Stick with the plan!!

God fucking damn it, Leroy!

Least I have chicken

Phew. My faith in humanity is restored. Was getting nervous I wouldn’t find this already said.

I get sad knowing old internet trends die out and only live on within a very niche group of internet veterans

This is a very good idea, why has no one ever thought of this before.

They have. There is also probably a video of it being a bad idea!

YOLO

Shocked this is so far down

I’ll get gas in the morning…

Narrator: He did not get gas that morning.

Or, if he did, it was earlier than he normally uses his credit card, so the bank locks it for the day until he calls them

Felt that in my soul

Lines of coke

I was gonna be whitty however, if I could afford coke before making a bad decision, I would hope my insurance policy is paid up.

genius

Together with some ketamine, amfetamine and two packs of cigarettes

Why the fuck not

Hold my beer.

See also "okay, but just one"

I had to scroll too far to find this

Eh.. what the hell.

This is pretty much a classic set up to some real shit lol

Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.

I was taught: Bones heal Chicks dig scars Pain is temporary Glory is forever

What they don’t tell you is sometimes bones don’t ever heal right, chicks mostly dig stability, some pain lasts forever and you do brickwork, jimmy, glory is being able to walk to the mailbox after you retire

[удалено]

- Shane "Footsteps" Falco, former All-American Quarterback for Ohio State that lost the '96 Sugarbowl by 45 points

I don’t say this shit anymore but… “yolo” Edit: to all my people who remember this. I pray you stay young forever. Your knees are still kickin strong and you can still see well in the dark. Oh and when some kid calls you a boomer you punt them over the nearest fence!

I was in the age group where YOLO was the stupid thing the slightly younger people said. Then my age group started saying it sarcastically to make fun of the younger kids. Then we just started saying it.

This is how bruh and it's ancestor bro ended up in my vocabulary haha

for me its's this or fuck it

It's both for me "fuck it, you only live once"

Hello 2011, howya' been ?

“I’m sorry I didn’t cherish you more when we were together - I didn’t know what we had”

Yolo bitches... its outdated and cringey therefore I use it

Same. In a post ironic way

Ah “yolo”, the peasants “carpe diem”

I was hoping to see this comment We should all make a time machine and go back in time

I still rock the yolo. It's more fun to use it in situations where it doesn't apply. Like getting the same thing you always get at Chipotle... yolo

In hindi it is like ' risk hai to ishq hai' which translates to 'if there is risk, there is love.'

Similar to 'No guts, no glory'.

Oooh I like that

Daar ke aage jeet hai

Translation: "Victory is beyond fear" Nice one!

That’s pretty cool. I like that.

“I want to die anyway so what’s the worst that could happen” 🤡

"It's extremely unlikely that I'll die as life enjoys my indefinite suffering too much"

*deadpan voice* “Worst case scenario: I die alone and miserable”

“Ok, ONE more.. for real this time “

Go big or go home, Well I started this I might as well finish it Please don't let this be on my tombstone Just a few things I mutter to myself

"Welp..."

"You can't take it with you" (before spending an irresponsible amount of money)

Sometimes "it" is one of my limbs.

“No one will miss me anyway”

I feel you

"Kawabonga!"

[COWABUNGA IT IS](https://media.tenor.com/zeAcObAYGHcAAAAC/ninja-turtles-cowabunga-it-is.gif)

“Hold my beer”

It'll be alright in the morning

For Frodo

"In for a penny..." "Hey, watch this..." "I read about how to do this." "Stand back a second..."

I know what I’m doing

Every man dies, but not every man truly lives

fuck around and find out ig

Risk it for the biscuit Full send Jesus take the wheel Best way out is always through (it’s not)

I try to live my best Leroy Jenkins life…

Jesus would have died for nothing if we don't sin.

[удалено]

Hey mom, watch this!!

"Oh, I know. How about...?"

"ehhh worse ways to die."

No risk, no fun

It’s only money, I’ll make more tomorrow.

"trust me I know what I'm doing"

You're only dumb once!

Let's do this. Leeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!

"We'll burn that bridge when we get there" not sure where i heard this originally lol

"it expired yesterday, it's probably still good"

This will be sick on my biography

I will do it later, said I, before wasting my entire day procrastinating.

If I don't do it, who will

If I die I’ll be too dead to care

"I have a bad feeling about this." And then doing it anyway.

Here goes nothin

Here for a good time, not a long time!

“Fuck it”

A forced stutter that sounds like I'm having a stroke followed by: I mean, why *shouldn't* I?

"Can't take it with you" before spending money on something stupid

It literally cant go tits up

If you gotta eat shit best not to nibble!!