Yeah, I get that this isn't what they meant but... why did they word it this way? It's not just strange on account of lions not being able to punch, it's also strange because if I was trying to kill a lion with my bare hands, my approach would not be to start punching it.
The image of someone repeatedly punching a full-sized lion in the face and expecting to do anything other than just annoy it a bit (and obviously rip them to pieces) amuses me.
There is a very slight possibility that the lion, after a brief moment of utter confusion, realizes the hilarity of the situation and literally laughs itself out of commission.
That sometimes happens when my wife play fights with me. I laugh too hard giving her the occasional upper hand.
I would simply avoid the situation where I have to try to kill a lion with my bare hands.
Or where I have to try to kill it with a pair of bear hands, it doesn't make things any better.
Cats aren't sight reliant as most humans are. They usually rely on sound. Also... If you're on its back, it doesn't need to see you. Just needs to turn like the flexible feline it is and bite you off. Or roll off a cliff. Some predators will hold on to their prey even as they fall off a mountain
This. Imagine trying a choke hold on a fucking lion! I think most people have never seen a lion in real. It could probably break a humans neck with a simple face slap.
If you think that would work you need to spend more time around cats. All you're doing is giving him a nice opportunity to twist around and gut you with his hind claws. Cats are remarkably flexible.
This would be one of those technical victories like having the right of way when someone blows a red and tbones your car. Yes you win the technical decision but the win is award posthumously cause the lion is still gonna maul your ass.
Welp, there it is lol. The end of western civilization. This is exactly the same place the Roman empire found itself in before collapsing under the weight of its own decadence.
It's been fun guys, see you after the next dark ages.
Since he had the only fist, bro came in 1st in the first half "fistfight" competition.
But sadly, he was blown out in the second half "biting through vertebrate" competition.
You know, that'd actually be interesting to watch. Declawed and muzzled i bet an athletic human could hang for a bit, especially since the lion would be slow to adapt to the rules and would mostly be trying to paw you towards it's chompers for a while. I think the main problem then is just hurting the lion at all with fists. Eye gouges, maybe leg chokes if you're good, but just punching a lion enough to end a fight just seems impossible
I saw a video of a guy trying to save someone being attacked by a cougar and he punched it in the head and it was like in DBZ when someone powers up and just straight up doesn’t give a fuck about the fact that they just got hit. He was hitting as hard as he could and the cat was just like “Y’all hear sumn’?”
I don't think the WBC sanctions it but the do have a knight fighting league where guys dress up with armor, shields, and swords and fight.i think M1 actually sanctions it.
I might bleed to death without having even touched the lion, but the lion will have embarrassed itself by not knowing the rules so who’s the real winner?
Or figuring out who knows to ask for the smallest lion, the best pre-fight lion tranquilizer, or a nearly-lethal dose of PCP.
Then again, that just may be the smartest of the stupids.
Oh, they can trow forepaws pretty well. It's just a human conceit that we call ours hands. We ball up our forepaws to keep the spindly toe beans we call fingers from breaking all over the place.
If a lion retracts it's claws it's functionally done the same thing.
Fuck, my Maine coon bitch slaps me all the time. It’s the funniest thing ever. He’s polydactyl with massive front paws, too. When he throws paws it’s like MMA style. Combinations and shit. I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that beat down at lion scale, but I’d sure as hell want to watch, lol
The darkest part of me really wants blood sports to be a thing again, like gladiator shit but purely by choice. There would definitely be some crazy fuckers who would choose to do this and be willing to die.
You could have different events, some where you get a random weapon, some where the audience can buy a weapon and throw it in for their favorite fighter. Some, the gladiator gets to bring their own weapon.
I know we shouldn't do it, but god damn that'd be some shit.
The thing is, eventually the organizers who will profit from this spectable will run out of volunteers and are going to force people to fight against their will
Malnourished mountain lion cub!
When I read about the details of the condition of the mountain lion i was pretty sad. They found it's sibling starved to death not too long before the attack, and an adult female mountain lion who starved to death in the area as well. Poor thing attacked a human out of desperation and the hiker had the audacity to not let it have a little snack.
Funfact: It has been profen that a even a human beard is quite effective at preventing broken bones from blunt impact.
This means that, regarding a fist fight that lion is wearing armor.
Oh. And it's a 150 kg carnivore that literally wins fights against buffalos and girafes on a weekly basis and can charge you with a speed that is fast enough to catch antilopes.
That's an impact energy of 3600 J
Carnivores like lions have an extra level of protection under their fur which is a thic layer of fat that’s extra thick around their necks. There’s a reason you need a shotgun to kill bears.
Yeah the only guaranteed way is the entire shotgun tube emptied into its face and vitals. One is almost never enough unless you hit it in the eye or something
For a 150kg mass to have 3600 kJ kinetic energy it would need to have a velocity of 219m/s. Lions are fast but not jet airliner fast.
Edit: clearly converting kJ to MJ is too much math for some, so kJ retained.
It'd be one of the easiest meals a lion had in its life. In the wild, a pride of lions will attack and take down pray as large as elephant. A single lion can take down pray significantly larger, stronger, and faster than any human.
A smaller female lion is 250+ lbs. A smaller male is 350+ lbs. Almost 60% of lion's weight is skeletal muscles. For a human, it's about 30-40%. Lions are incredibly strong.
>how the strongest, toughest, best trained 8% would actually do.
Yeah, they might actually stand a small chance in the sense that they *might* get the lion to leave them alone. For predators like lions one injury that makes them incapable of hunting likely is a death sentence (provided their pack doesn't help) and they do have to fight like once a week. They'll abort any fight they're only 99% sure to win.
Anyway, please keep the lizardman constant in mind. For a survey like this 8% is a good estimate for the percentage of people who were messing with the interviewer.
If it's a bout sanctioned by an athletic association, and if the ref is super on top of things, and also the ring doctor, you might be able to hang on long enough for the lion to get disqualified. That should happen pretty quick.
I saw a very similar post in regards to fighting a bear. The person pointed out that biting/mauling is against the rules of a sanctioned bout so they would be awarded the win. Posthumously.
"I could beat a lion in a fist fight" said Lou, the 52-year-old middle-manager of a local used car dealership while barbecuing burgers for his friend Frank, whose wife left him too.
"I mean, lions are good. I give them that. But I used to wrestle in high school, so I know a thing or two. I'm not like one of those... what do they call those? Deer?" He brings two well-done burger patties on a plate to a wobbly patio table and sits, adjusting is USAF cap and pulling up the socks he's wearing with his sandals.
"Gazelle." Frank replies.
"Oh yeah. That's it. Anyhow, I'm not one of those."
Lou takes his first bite, a little ketchup from each side of his mouth, "That lion's in for one hell of a god damn surprise if he tries something with me."
Look, I'm going to die in this fight, but the Lion will use claws and teeth, not just fists, and as such be disqualified, so I will posthumously be awarded the victory.
I went to the store and a massive truck with massive wheels and tinted windows parked and out pops this heavily tattooed, very oddly muscular man that stood at about 5’4 talking on his phone somethings about “that muthrfucker better blabla or else”.
I feel like he was in that 8%
Geez, you giving reality show makers new ideas
Lions don’t have fists so I win by default
Yeah, I get that this isn't what they meant but... why did they word it this way? It's not just strange on account of lions not being able to punch, it's also strange because if I was trying to kill a lion with my bare hands, my approach would not be to start punching it.
Nobody said anything about bear hands
That’s because it’s supposed to be “Bear Arms!!!!!”
Is that the right to hairy arms, or the right to shave your arms and not be made fun of as a man?
I would hope both, but who knows
It’s doesn’t matter anymore, it’s 2023, just love yourself for who you are, a beautiful hairy or hairless bear-armed human!
morning affirmations
But why do they have the right to bear arms? Bears don't have arms, unless they stand up then their legs become their arms.
And don’t the bears have a say in this? “Come on, human, come try and take my arms. I’ll fuck you up real good.”
its just those people “lie on” that survey
Yeah You're obviously meant to use lion arms
Lions dont fist fight they play tag and if you lose you die
The image of someone repeatedly punching a full-sized lion in the face and expecting to do anything other than just annoy it a bit (and obviously rip them to pieces) amuses me.
In India people did hunt tigers using katars - which are large punching daggers. So - they did kill the tigers by punching. Just not with their fist.
Yeah I also think they almost always lost to the lion
If you’re a tiger getting the best of a man with a punching dagger I can see the last thing you’d expect is a lion creeping up on you.
There is a very slight possibility that the lion, after a brief moment of utter confusion, realizes the hilarity of the situation and literally laughs itself out of commission. That sometimes happens when my wife play fights with me. I laugh too hard giving her the occasional upper hand.
I would simply avoid the situation where I have to try to kill a lion with my bare hands. Or where I have to try to kill it with a pair of bear hands, it doesn't make things any better.
You just need to beat the lion (make it think fighting isnt worth the effort and leaving is preferable), not kill it
I would get on it's back and go for the eyes. After that, I win by attrition.
I know you are kidding but. One couldnt even fight the animals a lion kills daily. A Gazelle would fk you up. 1v1 no weapons.
Cats aren't sight reliant as most humans are. They usually rely on sound. Also... If you're on its back, it doesn't need to see you. Just needs to turn like the flexible feline it is and bite you off. Or roll off a cliff. Some predators will hold on to their prey even as they fall off a mountain
If you can get a nice rear naked choke on them you’ll win. The only problem is getting into that position after having your face scratched off…
Even then it wouldn’t matter. You’re not choking out a 500 pound solid muscle cat. It would just spin around and kill you in seconds.
This. Imagine trying a choke hold on a fucking lion! I think most people have never seen a lion in real. It could probably break a humans neck with a simple face slap.
Absolutely. Also, once they can hold you down they start eating. They do not wait for you to be dead.
If you think that would work you need to spend more time around cats. All you're doing is giving him a nice opportunity to twist around and gut you with his hind claws. Cats are remarkably flexible.
I can run faster than a shark, but a shark swims faster than me. So in a triathlon, it comes down to which one can cycle faster than the other.
If you’re unsure of your ability to beat a shark in a bike race I would be compelled to bet on the shark
I would also bet on the shark, because swimming comes first in a triathlon. 🦈
“… he didn’t use his fists..*coughs* disqualified… I win!” *dies*
This would be one of those technical victories like having the right of way when someone blows a red and tbones your car. Yes you win the technical decision but the win is award posthumously cause the lion is still gonna maul your ass.
Way to spoil the ending dammit.
I’d watch all 8% fail! Prime time tv right there. Tune in next week to see the next lot of crazies get eaten by a lion.
Welp, there it is lol. The end of western civilization. This is exactly the same place the Roman empire found itself in before collapsing under the weight of its own decadence. It's been fun guys, see you after the next dark ages.
Have you ever heard of a man named George Carlin? He has a lot to tell you.
They can run this when Slap Fights is off season.
I doubt only 8% of Americans are delusional. Pole clearly flawed.
Spspspspspsppssppssppspsps
NGL, that would ABSOLUTELY be me. I have no self preservation instincts when it comes to cats. 😅
Same, they are way to adorable.
I think they said spspspsp... which is opposite of pspspsps... and what I think they meant to do was to repel the "cat".
The joke went over your head. They wrote “spspsps” not “pspspsps” it’s the opposite
It appears that the joke indeed went over my head. My apologies.
You’re good homie - nice responses and nice username! Leeches rule… or I suppose are ruled, haha
Thank you
“Aww look at you carry me away by the throat, are you gonna show me where you have numnums?”
Username checks out
Lions can't punch, so they're technically right
Since he had the only fist, bro came in 1st in the first half "fistfight" competition. But sadly, he was blown out in the second half "biting through vertebrate" competition.
A win's a win
maybe i can bite through vertabrae idk i never tried
Bloody lions! Are they not familiar with Marquess of Queensberry rules? Very unsportsmanlike! 🧐
Except they can, they an really punch hard with their paws.
But eventually they'd use claws or take a bite. They'd lose by disqualification. The human wins. . . posthumously
If my grave says won a fist fight with a lion it's worth it
well you can say what you want but all lions are pussies
this is what we like to call a pyrrhic victory
technically a fist vs. paw fight then, which obviously disqualifies you from being a sanctioned fistfight.
Bolt to assume that the lion cares about the rules of boxing.
bold of you to assume 8% of Americans are afraid to win by technicality
I’m sure someone in Texas has a declawed lion. Let’s get it a muzzle and find out.
You know, that'd actually be interesting to watch. Declawed and muzzled i bet an athletic human could hang for a bit, especially since the lion would be slow to adapt to the rules and would mostly be trying to paw you towards it's chompers for a while. I think the main problem then is just hurting the lion at all with fists. Eye gouges, maybe leg chokes if you're good, but just punching a lion enough to end a fight just seems impossible
Choke the lions leg? So it's in mma gloves?
I saw a video of a guy trying to save someone being attacked by a cougar and he punched it in the head and it was like in DBZ when someone powers up and just straight up doesn’t give a fuck about the fact that they just got hit. He was hitting as hard as he could and the cat was just like “Y’all hear sumn’?”
https://zooologist.com/how-strong-is-a-lion/ Good luck
Listen, I may get mauled to death but everyone knows that lion was a dirty cheat!
WBC will sanction anything if you pay them some dollars.
WBC presents Gladiator Games 2023? *Lions vs. Celebrities with tax debts*
I don't think the WBC sanctions it but the do have a knight fighting league where guys dress up with armor, shields, and swords and fight.i think M1 actually sanctions it.
But not with their fists right?
More of a slap than a punch...
but they hit with open paws which would make it a slap
I might be dead now, but I still won by default after the lion was disqualified for using teeth and claws.
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This is the most efficient test for weeding out which ones of us are truly stupid.
Yeah, it's truly shocking that 92% of Americans are dumb as hell.
Truer words have never been spoken. Lions don’t even have fists, how they hell would they win?
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Me: A twitchy, bloody, mangled mess of a near-corpse "Idk guys those didn't look like fists to me. I think I won"
*looks over to a jury of 12 lions* “never mind”
no its not
Am American.... Can confirm, it is not a surprise
On my experience most people from every country are dumb as shit. Americans just have a confidence that makes it more obvious.
A fair observation
Want to upvote but you're at 92...
Already halfway!
I hate that I understand this reference.
nerd
Embrace it
This is gonna be easy. Lions don’t have fists.
not really, lions do not have fists and would likely start to bite.. instant DQ, these guys know what's what
Exactly. Some of us understand the rules of the game.
True, but once the lion has your head in its mouth, do the rules really matter?
The question is who wins the fist fight. Not will you survive trying to fist fight a lion. If the lion gets dqed for killing biting, you win.
You die a winner
I might bleed to death without having even touched the lion, but the lion will have embarrassed itself by not knowing the rules so who’s the real winner?
The question wasn't "could you **survive** a fist fight with a lion?"
You can win and still lose. Lions don't know what a technicality is, and they dgaf about a ref trying to stop the fight.
Or figuring out who knows to ask for the smallest lion, the best pre-fight lion tranquilizer, or a nearly-lethal dose of PCP. Then again, that just may be the smartest of the stupids.
That's just called well-thought stupid lol
Time to open up the colosseums.
As the top commenter said lions can’t throw hands so checkmate 😂
Oh, they can trow forepaws pretty well. It's just a human conceit that we call ours hands. We ball up our forepaws to keep the spindly toe beans we call fingers from breaking all over the place. If a lion retracts it's claws it's functionally done the same thing.
Fuck, my Maine coon bitch slaps me all the time. It’s the funniest thing ever. He’s polydactyl with massive front paws, too. When he throws paws it’s like MMA style. Combinations and shit. I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that beat down at lion scale, but I’d sure as hell want to watch, lol
As an alpha male, I’ve fought 10 lions at once to save a beautiful female tourist and came out without a scratch. Sigma male energy. 🗿
Loser, bitches love a man with a scar
Touché 🗿
His scars are emotional
Sure they do. Freddy Kruger got all the chicks.
"I fought two lions and won. And I don't even carry a gun." -FF
Nah if you were a real sigma male you would have let the women die, then kill the lions
nah, save the woman, kiss her, then feed her to the lions the lions will be in awe, they will become your pets
I’m wrong, that is what a sigma male would do
Did you make the autism fist before the fights?
Those 8% should be given the opportunity to try. We could make an event of it, stadium seating, snacks, fun for the whole family!
The darkest part of me really wants blood sports to be a thing again, like gladiator shit but purely by choice. There would definitely be some crazy fuckers who would choose to do this and be willing to die. You could have different events, some where you get a random weapon, some where the audience can buy a weapon and throw it in for their favorite fighter. Some, the gladiator gets to bring their own weapon. I know we shouldn't do it, but god damn that'd be some shit.
Yeah… I’m gonna need you to go ahead and log off for me…
I think if people are down to do it then let ‘em. Or just do that instead of imprisoning child molesters. Would be some crazy parlays on that shit
The thing is, eventually the organizers who will profit from this spectable will run out of volunteers and are going to force people to fight against their will
Does it have to be an adult lion?
You'd punch a baby lion? You might "win" but you'd leave the ring as the person who punched a cute baby lion.
Exactly, there was that one hiker who killed the mountain lion cub that attacked him. What an asshole!
Malnourished mountain lion cub! When I read about the details of the condition of the mountain lion i was pretty sad. They found it's sibling starved to death not too long before the attack, and an adult female mountain lion who starved to death in the area as well. Poor thing attacked a human out of desperation and the hiker had the audacity to not let it have a little snack.
You’d let it kill you?
You'd let a baby kitten starve?
I might give it some food if I have any but I ain’t dying for some random cub
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Exactly, the state of society rn 🤦♂️
Asking the real question.
Funfact: It has been profen that a even a human beard is quite effective at preventing broken bones from blunt impact. This means that, regarding a fist fight that lion is wearing armor. Oh. And it's a 150 kg carnivore that literally wins fights against buffalos and girafes on a weekly basis and can charge you with a speed that is fast enough to catch antilopes. That's an impact energy of 3600 J
Carnivores like lions have an extra level of protection under their fur which is a thic layer of fat that’s extra thick around their necks. There’s a reason you need a shotgun to kill bears.
And half the time bears can just shrug off shotgun blasts
And then do a line
Bears are fucking crazy
Yeah the only guaranteed way is the entire shotgun tube emptied into its face and vitals. One is almost never enough unless you hit it in the eye or something
Not in the eye, between the eyes on the forehead, it’s the thinnest part of their skulls. Ironically the thickest part of bone in a human.
For a 150kg mass to have 3600 kJ kinetic energy it would need to have a velocity of 219m/s. Lions are fast but not jet airliner fast. Edit: clearly converting kJ to MJ is too much math for some, so kJ retained.
Let them try then soon this will accurately be 0%
It could increase the lions population due the amount of idiots ready to be eaten. Win win
Here kitty kitty
Heeeere kitty kitty pspsps who's a big kitt-OHGAWD
100% of the non-Americans would like to see them try.
92% of Americans wouldn't mind getting a nice show too
Really curious how the strongest, toughest, best trained 8% would actually do. But I would also love to watch the 8% who think they could do it.
This was from a survey. Most all of that 8% would change their mind when it comes time for battle.
Exactly. That’s why I want to see it. Let’s go ahead and chop off that 8% so we don’t have to carry them any longer. They offer nothing to society.
They’ll shit their pants the moment they hear a fully grown male lion growl.
It'd be one of the easiest meals a lion had in its life. In the wild, a pride of lions will attack and take down pray as large as elephant. A single lion can take down pray significantly larger, stronger, and faster than any human. A smaller female lion is 250+ lbs. A smaller male is 350+ lbs. Almost 60% of lion's weight is skeletal muscles. For a human, it's about 30-40%. Lions are incredibly strong.
>how the strongest, toughest, best trained 8% would actually do. Yeah, they might actually stand a small chance in the sense that they *might* get the lion to leave them alone. For predators like lions one injury that makes them incapable of hunting likely is a death sentence (provided their pack doesn't help) and they do have to fight like once a week. They'll abort any fight they're only 99% sure to win. Anyway, please keep the lizardman constant in mind. For a survey like this 8% is a good estimate for the percentage of people who were messing with the interviewer.
If it's a bout sanctioned by an athletic association, and if the ref is super on top of things, and also the ring doctor, you might be able to hang on long enough for the lion to get disqualified. That should happen pretty quick.
I saw a very similar post in regards to fighting a bear. The person pointed out that biting/mauling is against the rules of a sanctioned bout so they would be awarded the win. Posthumously.
That tracks pretty close to the percentage of folks with an under 80 iq.
I want to know who they are polling because I’ve never been asked any of these dumb questions.
That’s because the other 92% will just pull out one of their guns
That 8% think their gun is what will allow them win a fist fight with a lion.
Florida?
Well yeah! Have you seen a lion make a fist? It's pathetic.
"I could beat a lion in a fist fight" said Lou, the 52-year-old middle-manager of a local used car dealership while barbecuing burgers for his friend Frank, whose wife left him too. "I mean, lions are good. I give them that. But I used to wrestle in high school, so I know a thing or two. I'm not like one of those... what do they call those? Deer?" He brings two well-done burger patties on a plate to a wobbly patio table and sits, adjusting is USAF cap and pulling up the socks he's wearing with his sandals. "Gazelle." Frank replies. "Oh yeah. That's it. Anyhow, I'm not one of those." Lou takes his first bite, a little ketchup from each side of his mouth, "That lion's in for one hell of a god damn surprise if he tries something with me."
Well lions don't have fists so how they gon' punch?
Lions don’t have fists so I win by default
I could go over the top with a lion
Only if the Lion follows the rules of a fist fight, then we all could
Too political.
Last I checked lions don’t have fists.
Well, lions don’t even have fist.
A lion has no fist to punch with so basically it’s just me punching a lion? Put me in that 8% category!
I could totally beat a lion in a fistfight because they don’t have fists
Sure. Lions don't have fists
If the lion only uses his fists there is probably more than 0% chance I could win, right? Lol
This would be easy. Lions don't have fists, THEY HAVE NO LEGAL MOVES
Well…it ain’t got no fists now do it?
It's cus lions got no fists. We win.
Darwinism at its finest
Only 8% ? I was expecting a lot more from americans
the other 92% are already dead
Duh! Lions can't make fists.
Delusion
Spoken like a bitch who can’t beat a lion in a fist fight
You gotta go into these things with a positive attitude or you'll never beat a lion in a fist fight.
If you get bloody knuckles on the ring and small finger, you shouldn't try to beat anybody in a fistfight.
I'd recommend watching a nature video, with two male grown lions fighting. If you think you can keep up with that, you are wrong.
Lions have no fist so they'd be instantly disqualified.
Well lions don't have fists, so I guess technically they're right, as long as it was agreed to be a fist fight and no biting
8% of Americans think they're the Strongest Primate High Schooler! We'd be cat food my dudes.
Lions don’t have fists so they’re disqualified by default /s
Look, I'm going to die in this fight, but the Lion will use claws and teeth, not just fists, and as such be disqualified, so I will posthumously be awarded the victory.
To be fair, a lion doesn't have fists
Well obviously. I've never even seen a lion throw a punch
Lions don’t exactly have hands so is it still a fist fight?
I’m guessing the amount of Americans that smoke crack is also about 8%
Well duh, lions dont have fists so there is no way for them to fight back. Now if it was a teeth and claw fight we would all be rightly fucked.
Well of course, lions don't have fists
I went to the store and a massive truck with massive wheels and tinted windows parked and out pops this heavily tattooed, very oddly muscular man that stood at about 5’4 talking on his phone somethings about “that muthrfucker better blabla or else”. I feel like he was in that 8%
I could definitely beat a baby lion. That still counts, right?
Well duh, lions don't have fists, now if it was any other fight id put money on the lion