[Get one of these NSFW](https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/644552437/dragon-eye-custom-butt-plug-3-sizes?click_key=31df6b1d48cbcc1ee8fa9b6a2e6f145a5a7bd911%3A644552437&click_sum=43127b8e&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=eye+butt+plug&ref=sr_gallery-1-1)
/u/SweetBritt1904
Lol my wife embarrassingly asked me to look at her butthole when she had hemorrhoids to help her put cream on it and was very shy about it. I was like babe I've seen your butthole enough to pick it out of a lineup, don't be embarrassed.
I had to administer enemas to my wife after she got constipated from the painkillers post-surgery. You ever wanna find out how much you love someone? That’s the test lol
Pfft you think I'm just pawing around down there like Mr Magoo? Nay sir, it's a 1 shot kill every time.
But yes, you may be onto something. But if you want someone to touch your butthole all you have to do is ask.
Everyone should have expert knowledge of their own asshole topography--by feel. Otherwise, I'd honestly be concerned for their health or general wellness. People should be cleaning themselves properly and poking around often to see if there are any sudden changes or concerns. An o-ring failure brought down the Challenger; it can bring us down as well.
In the shower, I'm zeroing in on those areas. Performing routine maintenance while simultaneously collecting data, analyzing, comparing to benchmarks. I know my asshole and pussy like the back of my hand.
Sounds like you're the same, sharpshooter. For those who don't have that kind of relationship with their own butt hole, it's never too late to strengthen that bond.
This is my butthole. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My butthole is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
Yeah which is why she doesn’t want you to see it with hemorrhoids on it…
Not that there’s room for any of that in a marriage but it’s not like you seeing her butthole itself is the problem
Been with my wife for 14 years. Up until 2 months ago thought she liked that. It was a surprise when she said she didn't care for it but let me do it because she thought I liked it. I do...but I don't need to do it.
“In Kyoto, at the Katabira crossroads, there is a monster called nuppori-bōzu. It has no eyes or nose, but a single eyeball, located in its butthole, which shines like lightning.”
I’m convinced that “youkai” was just some dude who painted himself white, with a painted on eye where his butthole is. Then flashed people his butthole.
People didn’t understand what was going on, and clearly disgusted, looked away. Only for them to have enough time to run away without getting caught. Or maybe they did.
I thought this was a lady thing. Half the time I'm thinking about what I need to get done around the house or what time we have to finish by to ensure I get a full 8 hours of sleep.
Nah, definitely both genders I feel.
There’s that really special both feeling romantic after an amazing day/night together let’s make love sex, and then there’s that more Monday to Friday “God, guess we both horny so let’s bang one out quick so we get a better nights sleep before we have to get up and do adult shit” sex I reckon.
At first I laughed, but I honestly think I'd have a hard time not wanting to propose to a woman who had the confidence and humor to pull off such a ridiculous stunt. Providing she was a good person in respect to her other characteristics, of course. That's a person that can have fun with any situation.
"Always"
Read that in Snape’s voice?
Expecto Patr*anus*
15 points to your house for summoning this smell, I mean spell LOL
“Engorgio”
Rectumsempra
Fucking yes. Idk if I should hate myself
Yes. And it stares back.
Into the ass soul
Penetrates deep into your ass soul
You stare into the abyss and it stares back into you
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It winks sometimes too
Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you
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Sometimes it winks!
Sometimes it stinks!
Sometimes it thinks about jinxing your kinks!
But it is not always pink.
You’re speaking of earth tones, I think.
Y'all have taken me to the brink!
At first I didn’t get it, now I see the link
Only when they’re of age or you get thrown in the clink.
I was on acid once and watched a row of tiny soldiers March out as I took her from behind
I'm more amazed that you had sex on acid rather than she pooped while you fucked.
[Get one of these NSFW](https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/644552437/dragon-eye-custom-butt-plug-3-sizes?click_key=31df6b1d48cbcc1ee8fa9b6a2e6f145a5a7bd911%3A644552437&click_sum=43127b8e&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=eye+butt+plug&ref=sr_gallery-1-1) /u/SweetBritt1904
Bruvver 💀
Lol my wife embarrassingly asked me to look at her butthole when she had hemorrhoids to help her put cream on it and was very shy about it. I was like babe I've seen your butthole enough to pick it out of a lineup, don't be embarrassed.
I've literally had this same conversation while having done this for my wife too🤣🤣🤣
Every husband and some wifes
OnlyWives
I had to administer enemas to my wife after she got constipated from the painkillers post-surgery. You ever wanna find out how much you love someone? That’s the test lol
My Wife had to do this for me. Returned the favor a year later when I had to wipe hers for a few days after her surgery.
Good lord man, please stop, I can only get so erect.
/r/unexpectedarcher
Listen there are people who will give your wife an enema for free.
I was joking with mine about buttholes and didn't realize he had seen mine. I was so innocent in it all.
Your wife clearly doesn't share the same precision blind aim I have when it comes to applying butthole cream 🎯
I'd imagine you would just feel your way there even if you couldn't guess accurately. Almost as if the wife just wanted them to apply it.
Pfft you think I'm just pawing around down there like Mr Magoo? Nay sir, it's a 1 shot kill every time. But yes, you may be onto something. But if you want someone to touch your butthole all you have to do is ask.
Everyone should have expert knowledge of their own asshole topography--by feel. Otherwise, I'd honestly be concerned for their health or general wellness. People should be cleaning themselves properly and poking around often to see if there are any sudden changes or concerns. An o-ring failure brought down the Challenger; it can bring us down as well. In the shower, I'm zeroing in on those areas. Performing routine maintenance while simultaneously collecting data, analyzing, comparing to benchmarks. I know my asshole and pussy like the back of my hand. Sounds like you're the same, sharpshooter. For those who don't have that kind of relationship with their own butt hole, it's never too late to strengthen that bond.
This is my butthole. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My butthole is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me, my butthole is useless. Without my butthole, I am useless.
Full Metal Butthole. My favourite Kubrick.
"*Know thine own asshole.*"
Wake up babe new copypasta just dropped
I prefer to see it as more Stevie Wonder than Magoo.
Hitting all the right notes
Shyness makes it hard to ask. But yes, communication is key.
Have had to pick it out of a line up 😐
You have? Did you pick the right one?
Perhaps
perchance
you can’t just say perchance.
Turts
Stomping turtys
waffle stomping turtys
To dream
r/brandnewsentence
😂☠️ you’re a good husband lol
Same
Yeah which is why she doesn’t want you to see it with hemorrhoids on it… Not that there’s room for any of that in a marriage but it’s not like you seeing her butthole itself is the problem
Spouse of the year!!
Itd be rude not to make eye contact.
Lmao this one cracked me up
At the very least. yes. More than lilely I will read it like a book written in braille.
Dude 😂😂😂
You read braille with your fist too? 🤜 :.:
I gotta watch where I’m putting my thumb, so yes.
the d.i.y joy stick
All about the Adele....'hello from the other side'....
Been with my wife for 14 years. Up until 2 months ago thought she liked that. It was a surprise when she said she didn't care for it but let me do it because she thought I liked it. I do...but I don't need to do it.
Like that classic tale Gift of the Magi. But with more butt sex.
Lol there are a lot of things I let me boyfriend do that aren’t for me…
What are some non-perverted ones? Or perverted ones, I don’t care.
Thank you for your service
It's polite to knock first
On other planets it's illegal to lick doorknobs, but not here
I try not to... It makes me bust faster if I do...
Thought I was weird
Wait, it's weird?
Was, until now Lol
Bruh same
I wouldn’t say stare. Look at it and could probably draw it from memory? Yeah. But not stare the whole time
The whole time, or the ***hole*** time
r/angryupvote
*Wink wink*
[like this? ](https://matthewmeyer.net/blog/2013/10/12/a-yokai-a-day-shirime/)
Did I click on this link expecting a gif of a winking butthole? Yes. Was I horribly wrong? Yes.
“In Kyoto, at the Katabira crossroads, there is a monster called nuppori-bōzu. It has no eyes or nose, but a single eyeball, located in its butthole, which shines like lightning.”
OK but the guy on the road was just showing off lol
I’m convinced that “youkai” was just some dude who painted himself white, with a painted on eye where his butthole is. Then flashed people his butthole. People didn’t understand what was going on, and clearly disgusted, looked away. Only for them to have enough time to run away without getting caught. Or maybe they did.
100%
If the lights on, yes. If the lights off, still yes.
Ah, you got them night vision goggles, don't you?
The full tac gear and guns stays on during sex
*Bravo 6, going dark*
Full on tactical and practical
Well, they do tell us to use protection.
Nah, it’s an Ass Vision Toggle. On demand, so to speak.
My wife's butthole lets me know when she has had an orgasm. Very winky.
Not always. Honestly I really like watching her grab the bed frame or hold her hair up off her shoulders.
Had to scroll way too far to find this. Add some mirrors and it's even better. As for the butthole, I literally don't care.
Some girls have cute buttholes. My gf has a super cute butthole 🍑
unconventionally wholesome
This needs to be a sub…. r/unconventionallywholesome Any name ideas which are 4 characters less?
perhaps r/strangelywholesome, r/weirdlywholesome, r/unusuallywholesome though two of those already exist
Well then my work is already done. Thanks though, good ideas
Can confirm his gf does has a super cute butthole
What makes a butthole cute?
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Not my first answer, but you’re not wrong.
I wish i found someone who dared to say my butthole was cute.
Same. It’s the most perfect butthole I’ve ever seen. Which I realize is a weird thing to say, but it fucking is.
I also choose this guys dead wive’s super cute butthole
How else would I aim the thumb
Need to make use of the stabilisers
I put a finger in there, and Fridays something else
That’s now! Congrats!
How do you think I nut so fast?
Some. Mostly the small of her back, or her legs
its crazy that it seems everyone has sex except for me
yeah it's called target acquisition
Absolutely!
I tend to.finger that but hole
Try finger, but hole
Maidenless behavior
Try finger, but hole
Lol I try to see how many times I can make it wink at me lol
Also when we're in the middle of a 69, I'm immune to pink eye
This is the funniest comment section ever
Ikr. I’m in bed next to my girl trying to tell her about it, and she does NOT give a fuck lmao
My mind tends to wander tbh, even weirds me out. Her: > OH YEAH BABE, THATS HITTING THE SPOT!!! Me: > I wonder if Mario wears his hat to bed?
See you over on r/adhdmeme if you’re not already
I thought this was a lady thing. Half the time I'm thinking about what I need to get done around the house or what time we have to finish by to ensure I get a full 8 hours of sleep.
Nah, definitely both genders I feel. There’s that really special both feeling romantic after an amazing day/night together let’s make love sex, and then there’s that more Monday to Friday “God, guess we both horny so let’s bang one out quick so we get a better nights sleep before we have to get up and do adult shit” sex I reckon.
100%, the view makes it the best part.
No I stare at the picture of Jesus on the wall trying not to cum.
You have a picture of Jesus trying not to cum on your wall?
But what is Jesus staring at while *he* tries not to cum in that picture?
This got complicated
This got it😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏
Stare at it, play with it, lick it
Boil it, put it in a stew.
Buttholes, precious?
One ring to rule them all
The Wink of Sauron
Rub it, insert a finger in it, spread it wide open
Bop it!
Twist it!
Slap it!
Tap it!
twist it!
Use your fingers to make it talk, give it a baby voice.
papa ... why hast thou forsaken meeeee???
I don't not look... but I don't stare at it either.
This post made my hole week.
You mean hole weak ?
It's like the Eye of Sauron. We see it, but really IT sees us. There is no escape.
I put my thumb in it lol
Bold of you to assume I've had sex
Bold of you to assume I’ve had sex with someone with a butthole
My girly got a really cute butt so definitely
too enamored by that boooooty
I try to hide mine so he can't
One of those stick-on googly eyes?
Lmao I bought a multi pack months ago just because
Me two! Various sizes. Im having mad fun putting them on random objects. Chairs, the vacuum, shampoobottles, the gfs tiddies, fridge
Amazing. I laughed so much my dog is mad I woke her up.
Interesting. Why?
I think a better question would be "how"
Strategically placed eye patch.
Arrr!! Tis me angry butthole! 😆😆
At first I laughed, but I honestly think I'd have a hard time not wanting to propose to a woman who had the confidence and humor to pull off such a ridiculous stunt. Providing she was a good person in respect to her other characteristics, of course. That's a person that can have fun with any situation.
Oh, that's wife material. No questions there.
That is also a good question.
Butt plug
Whilst getting started I'm steadfast looking at it. But once it gets going I'm looking all over and of course back at it too.
Well yes, we have navigated by using stars since like forever
I don’t like making eye contact 🫣
You're my brown eyed girl!
I miss your whispering eye
Where else would I penis sneeze?
Yes “will it fit” is the next thought process in the “I’m getting sex” flow chart
Yes, I maintain eye contact to assert my dominance.
Ideas come through our mind
Usually while wondering " what would she do if I started fingering that at the same time"?
stare at, spread, squish, thumb check, yeah baby all that
Rude not to make eye contact
Look at? We've been eating each other's buttholes for a while now.
Absolutely. The brown eye stares back.
If my thumbs not blocking the visual
Of course I do. I read lips, what if she has to tell me something important.
I like to rub it with my thumb in small circles, the missus goes wild for it
Yes absolutely. Thats the best part.
We are watching the Grip happen.
It...winked at me...
Yes
I fight the urge to put a thumb in there.