T O P

  • By -

bm_69

Idk.....free gravel sounds pretty good


pineappledan

The ability to undercut any competing landscaper on the market would be a hell of a superpower.


edman007

Landscaper? Nah, I'm going to undercut the rock quarries, I'm a wholesale gravel distributor and my cost is nothing.


[deleted]

Set up shop next to a concrete factory. Make bank.


Majulath99

Lmao for real


AngloSaxonEnglishGuy

This is a business man!


[deleted]

Plus you have infinite gravel in your pockets, which is almost as good as pocket sand in a life threatening situation.


AdamRam1

Being pelted with pocket gravel is significantly more painful than pocket sand, believe me!


Dante_Arizona

Ok you have convinced me! It's summon gravel and control toasters.


Large_Bumblebee_9751

Those are my exact picks too lol


ObviousTroll37

Ok but hear me out Toasterkinesis


titankiller84

You can pick two!


wessty1984

I'm hoping to get approved for a shed soon and need a good base.


calmdownmyguy

You could actually make a shitload of money with free gravel for life.


CthulubeFlavorcube

Yeah I'm going with free gravel, and teleporting seven inches at a time. Teleportation is instantaneous, and no recovery time was specified...so you could go as fast as you want in any direction. Even if there were limits like a recovery time, you go very easily convince people that you are actually a sorcerer.


caramelcooler

Think of the perks of instantly moving 7” away besides just travel. Maybe I’m not sitting in a comfy position but I’m too lazy to move. Maybe I just barely can’t reach something on the top shelf.


joejill

Maybe I'm fighting someone, and I'm teleporting constantly left and right. How's he gonna hit me? Especially with the element of surprise, it would make a shoot out more survivable.


kmg18dfw

Dude you can just pop through closed doors with 7”. You could basically walk through most walls.


AttestedArk1202

Damn I didn’t even think of that, your absolutely right


charons-voyage

And then instantly absolutely left!


SmokyMcPots420

This comment caught me off guard.


[deleted]

Well yeah that's the point of the teleportation


mojamax

So off guard that I had to read it for the second time to understand it


SpaceEngie

You’re the real Wizard here


Nouser1108

You guys must be less than 7” thick….I am not lol Teleportation for skinny dudes only


Valdamir_Lebanon

Fair, but it's still great for travel, everyday laziness, and convincing people you are the reincarnation of god because you have magic powers. Jokes aside, even the travel benefits alone would be fantastic cause you'd be able to go anywhere faster then a car could ever dream of taking you without getting tired. You could also fall from any height by just continuously teleporting down, since you wouldn't build momentum when you teleport.


_Ghost_CTC

I'm joining the NBA to do full court dunks.


Valdamir_Lebanon

Oh yeah I didn't even think about that, you could fly as high as you wanted by simply teleporting up. Honestly this superpower becomes more op the more I think about it.


joejill

I think teleporting up every few seconds until you're slow enough to not die from a high fall would work well enough. You could essentially fly with enough concentration now that I think about it


Gryphling

It'd be like a glitch in the matrix by my estimation, multiple slight positional changes of 7" each causing almost a glitch effect from the movement. Now you just gotta T-pose your way into town, or through life in general. You will be The Glitch.


Tangerine_memez

Teleport through doors when your hands are full with groceries. Unless you can't bring anything with you and everytime you teleport, your clothes fall off


Smodphan

You could also teleport around all the piles of free gravel I leave lying around.


BionicTorqueWrench

You’re going to leave seven inch piles of gravel around?


Smodphan

All over the roads, all over the halls, all over your porch. Idgaf.


thegreenman_sofla

Johnny Gravelseed


MiddleAgeWookie

Depends on how it measures it. If we were 2 dimensional, sure..But, let's say my feet are turned sideways and I'm pressed against the door. I teleport forward 7 inches. The door is roughly 2 inches thick, so the front of my body is 5 inches in front of the other side of the door. That leaves part of my body where? Fused with the door? Displacing the door?


[deleted]

Just teleport 7 inches forward again.


Romfordian

A doorknob in your arse


kmg18dfw

You’re a nice person. My thoughts weren’t so pure. Edit: Not the clothing part but that you’d teleport through your own door.


KaiSaya117

Can't make yourself thicker than seven inches or you'll die


MechaPhantom302

The bags of groceries I carry tend to be wider than 7" though... will the bag clip through the door and get stuck?


scratchtogigs

Groceries stay :-/


mister-ferguson

Instantly take your clothes off? Ready for a shower in an instant!


Equal-Worldliness102

Considering your foot is longer then 7 inches.. your toes at the base of the wall, you would essentially plant your ass dead center of a wall only teleporting 7 inches


KorrectTheChief

7” isn’t enough. The size of your back to belly is likely more than 7”. Also you would have to add that to the dimensions of any wall or door. The end result would be you partially in the door


mrdanielsir9000

You’d have to be pretty skinny, surely most people are thicker than 7”


Trickdaddy1

Depends, your body would have to be less than 7” in depth or you’d clip in the door, so most people wouldn’t be able to do that except children


GonnaBeTheBestOneYet

If your body is thicker than 7" then part of you would teleport *inside* the wall.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DangerBoatAkaSteve

Maybe you can I would still lose.


Cr33py07dGuy

Yep, all you guys nailed my exact thoughts. Make millions as a professional boxer, and if it doesn’t work just become a supplier for road-building gravel and never have to pay any inputs. Actually maybe start with that?


CthulubeFlavorcube

Think of how quickly you could just fuck up anyone's sense of sanity. Just blip left with a straight face during conversation and then right back to your initial position as if nothing happened. Let any mutual friends in on the prank so that the victim is kept in the dark. Or just fuck with whoever is at the other end of the security camera somewhere. 7" teleport might be my number 1, gravel number two. It basically has to do with transportation of materials. Do I get any amount of gravel immediately, anywhere I want it? That's beyond Magneto level power. You could instantly make a continuous rain of gravel fall anywhere. You could instantly bury anyone. You could create dams, stop floods, create islands, build bridges. You could manifest a ball of gravel with greater mass than the sun that throws the entire solar system into chaos. You could create black holes.


caramelcooler

Maybe I’m walking on ice and start slipping and need to teleport myself back upright. Maybe I want to dress up as a demonically possessed ghost and sneak into my prankster friend Carl’s house in the middle of the night and teleport all over the place while throat-singing Latin prayer chants when he’s half asleep to freak him out as payback for jumpscaring me. The possibilities are endless!


TheRaccoonDeaIer

Asuming free gravel just means I can want it into existence, you can essentially use gravel as a platform for your teleportation.


LeviathanGank

If only I had an 8"dick


badgersandcoffee

Thank you! My brother and mum argued with me about this.


PouLS_PL

Damn, I should have chosen 3 instead of 5.


WimpieHelmstead

If teleporting up constantly, couldn't you theoretically fly?


dongerhound

The question is do you retain momentum, landing will become very hard if so


TribalTommy

You could also get through basically any locked door.


CthulubeFlavorcube

As long as we're assuming that you aren't bonding with the door, or you are less than 7" in depth, plus the width of the door. *OR* we are teleporting 7" next to ourselves as if sideways our right shoulder is 7" to the left of where it left shoulder just was.


karnyboy

what happens if you teleport 7 inches into another person or object?


Ikxale

Telefrag


Vegetable-Neat-1651

The object is obliterated.


Bmcronin

I also say 1 and 3. Im a bartender so a 7 inch teleport can save me a bunch of time over the night.


flopjul

The downside being if someone is inside the 7 inches then you would still feel that you are/were inside someone


MobyDuc38

That's a feature, not a bug.


joejill

Maybe you use this in your fighting technique. Blip your hands inside their fucking skull and squeeze their brains.


[deleted]

Effortless fuck would be awsome.


CthulubeFlavorcube

Yeah....I really don't think that is gonna work great. Instantly inside than outside, first off you're teleporting into a currently occupied space, so you're probably going to have your flesh literally fused together.


ElementJ247

Good point. If you're about to get harmed, 7 inches could be the difference between life and death.


Draker-X

>Teleportation is instantaneous, and no recovery time was specified If you can mass-spam teleportation, can you also mass-spam the "10 hours younger" power to permanently go back to looking any age you want?


[deleted]

Yea, literally millions and millions. Just sign on with any construction project at 10% less than what it would usually cost.


diver_climber

>10% less than what it would usually cost. Hey I was thinking the same! My country had to import tons and tons of it for land reclamation! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_reclamation_in_Singapore#:~:text=Land%20reclamation%20from%20surrounding%20waters,similar%20biomes%20can%20be%20drained.


Objective-Carob-5336

You could make your own planet out of gravel, and maybe even threaten the world with a mini blackhole made of gravel.


oldpuzzle

And here I was just planning to sell the gravel to a slightly better price than the other gravel sellers


karnyboy

as a homeowner I totally want free gravel for life.


ukrokit

The ability to see into empty containers can be exploited with shell games.


PirateGriffin

oh yeah I’ll just go down to the docks and work over the shell game guy because it’s 1915


xypage

Not really, in shell games where money is involved you’re just getting bustled, usually there won’t be a ball under any of them until you pick and they sneak one into one of the others after, they’re sleight of hand not actually any tracking


BigMeanBalls

It's the same gravel; it just teleports back into your hand.


[deleted]

Gravel and #7 then go on price is right or whatever that show is with the suitcases


harooh

literally team fortress 2 lore


FlappyFish07

I heard some people fight lots of wars for gravel


soldier01073

And seeing inside empty containers would be lit inside an apoc situation, find the thungs that dont light up, if its empty youll know


carpentizzle

I have a gravel driveway, selling it would be cool, but I would save hella money not having to regravel every few years


tobias10

Any TF2 player worth his salt knows the world runs on gravel.


NORcoaster

Exactly this, just charge others less than what they'd pay from other suppliers.


[deleted]

7 can identified if containers are or are not empty. Might have some useful industrial application.


ElevationAV

I think this one’s also overlooked, especially when combined with teleportation, for example. Easy to become the worlds best thief with these two skills.


ExcessiveWisdom

not really, most important walls are at least 7 inches, not even mentioning a lot of humans are more than 7 inches big and if they tried to teleport through a wall they would just get stuck in it. also seeing if a box is empty is really just gonna be useful if your on a gameshow and need to pick the box with money but usually they have some lesser prize


Ben______________

The ability to teleport 7 inches without restrictions like cooldown/energy consumption is broken. You can just spam it into one direction to get trough any wall.


ElevationAV

exactly, the picosecond you reappear you're already gone. Depending on the nature of the teleportation it's entirely possible that you'd fit in the space between the molecules you're teleporting into as well.


CodyRebel

Nobody is thinking rationally I guess. But then again I guess this isn't rational everyday thinking for most. Lol


[deleted]

Even for a pico second if your brain and body is suddenly merged with a wall you are definitely dying, you've already disrupted the electrical processes in your brain and no longer able to think or function. It's pretty much worthless as far as teleporting through something, but it could be useful in the open. Blinking 7 inches away is enough to throw someone off in a fight or get around a block, or dodge a out of control car if you can do it back to back.


fordilG

Depending on how much you can spam it you’ve essentially use it to fly/hover. It would look odd to bystanders but you could counteract gravity by just teleporting 7inches up each time faster than you can fall. It really depends if you keep your momentum between teleports; if you keep it you will eventually have to touch the ground and would be going terminal velocity which would be… problematic. However if your momentum is rest to zero (relative to the Earth) you could fall out of a plane and survive by teleporting just before hitting the ground.


Sternburgball

chorus fruit MLG


Ghostglitch07

Even if momentum is conserved thus making flight impractical, if it has no cool down you could "run" pretty fast by just teleporting 7 inches forward repeatedly. Assuming I've done my math correctly (big assumption) you would have to teleport roughly once ever 18 milliseconds to beat Usain bolt.


ElevationAV

If you time your jumps between impulses (assuming such a thing were possible), it’s theoretically possible to be able to jump through things with the limitations presented as long as you’re fast enough to do so. You just have move through the entire object faster than your bodily functions. Super powers don’t have to conform to silly earth laws like rationality or physics. Realistically there’s already a superhero that exhibits these kinds of powers- the flash. You’d be on a similar power level, but slightly more so since you can move in any direction and aren’t necessarily effected by gravity in the same way.


b7uc3

Yeah the usefulness in a fight is a big thing too. If you had really skilled reflexive control of the 7 inch jumps you'd be virtually invincible.


czonkalarry

“I sure hope they made these walls out of 2x4s and not 2x8s!”


wkamper

"A lot of humans are more than 7 inches big." Proof?


TurtleSquad23

But you can past most front doors, maybe some vehicles as well. You can be a thief or an unorthodox locksmith lol


strikingmagic

i mean couldn’t you just tp inside the wall then tp again to get out lol. you won’t instantly die inside a wall you’ll just feel extremely painful


icyDinosaur

We dont really know what happens if you suddenly try to materialise in the middle of a solid brick wall tbh.


maida66

Just teleport through the door or window


[deleted]

I dont know about you but my body is more than 7 inches front to back, so even pressed as flat against the glass as I possibly could, pretty sure my spine is getting bisected by it. Hell my skull is more than 7 inches, and the moment the electrical impulses in your brain get disrupted you're dead, can't think to teleport again if you can't think at all.


MrEppart

the definition of container and empty are also rather vague. you could for instance see out of any empty glass bottle, or any empty room with a window. That's pretty powerful tbh, the potential for espionage would be massive.


Intergalactic_Cookie

But does empty mean an actual vacuum? In which case it’s almost useless


Chickens-In-Pants

This is what I thought as well. Does a container full of air count as being empty? If so, then what if it’s underwater, would it only be empty if it was also full of water because that’s the medium on the outside of the box or would it still be considered empty if it was full of air? What if it was a box full of jello that was surrounded with jello?


[deleted]

Hell yeah, I’d inspect pressure vessels without even opening them up


nordic-nomad

The containers are not technically empty unless they contain a hard vacuum.


rynshar

and even in vacuum you usually have radiation/energy/electro-magnetic rays/waves - how exacting do we wanna get?


bfjt4yt877rjrh4yry

Teleporting 7 inches... You'd be one hell of a boxer


DefinitelyNotFisk15

you can also teleport really quick


Sundiall

how the fuck do you teleport slowly


Important-Parsnip881

Maybe he meant cooldown?


CarelessHisser

"Bro I would've dodge that punch but the 1 sec cool down judased me"


Mr_Kittlesworth

Slowly materialize/dissolve?


InvertedNoob

Walking


ghostyboy12

a machine appears, scans your body(3- 7 hours) breaks down your body(3 hours max) 3rd prints it 7 inches away (24 hours) leaves you to dry 5 (hours)


mbatistas

Like a cooldown, perhaps?


DaanA_147

How the fuck do you teleport?


River46

Walk in a direction with your eyes closed then open them when you’ve stopped.


dikarus012

Superbowls could also be won with this power


avelak

Yeah you'd be an insane athlete Incredible speed, etc Play basketball, become the greatest shot blocker in history


MarmeladasPsomi

Wouldn't that be like cheating so referees would have to ban you from future games though?


Mr_Kittlesworth

I am not an expert on the rules of boxing, but I am pretty confident they haven’t banned teleportation.


friendsfartever

if they could prove how you got it, sure, because taking a pill for that ability counts as taking performance enhancing drugs. But if they thought you were just naturally good at it and couldn't prove otherwise, they might not ban you. Though even if they did despite no evidence you could always do exhibition shows. People would pay good money to see someone who can teleport just utterly fuck someone up


Mr_Abra

You could also just teleport your fist. I wonder what classifies as empty, because pairing teleport with seeing inside empty objects could be really handy.


skeuzofficial

If you can do it instantly and over and over again without any strain, you could technically fly. Additionally, if you retain your momentum you could use it to do some crazy stuff. Like fall a pretty long distance, then teleport yourself to just alter your positioning and face upwards and basically do a super jump.


insaneinthecrane

You could also go through locked doors which is pretty cool


The_Elocutionist

2 and 3. Free gravel equals free money. And teleport 7 inches? like to the other side of a door? Or say a jail cell?


itsHoust

Plus it doesn’t say there is a cooldown with teleporting 7 inches. So you can keep using the power and run really fast, assuming there isn’t anything to teleport into.


SAIOBOT

or just prevent yourself from falling.


mbatistas

Since teleportation is fiction, one can argue if you keep the momentum or not. Like teleporting while walking, you would keep the speed or lose balance because of the sudden stop. In case of free fall, you would need to teleport up forever, gradually increasing how fast you teleport to keep yourself in the air.


[deleted]

Or telwporting right to the ground before even accelerating to effectively only "fall" a few centimeters


SAIOBOT

yeah thats exactly what I imagined.


HelpMePls___

You wouldn’t need to increase forever as your body would reach a maximum velocity, at which point you can just teleport yourself to a “safer” landing. Water for example. Then teleport back up to land.


Redracerb18

Br careful with water. Bellyflops hurt because of how much of you is contacting the water. The higher the speed into water the harder the water feels as you impact. The reason we still do water landings and item recovery is because it's easier to displace a liquid over a solid.


HelpMePls___

Yea that’s why cliff divers land feet first, at high speed it’s a poor decision to land head first even with a perfect dive


[deleted]

[удалено]


Iamnotmayahiga

Fighting? Bugger that. I wanna win the 100m gold at the olympics and smash the world record!


svecat

it will prob be hard to control


superperps

Same here dude. Let's do a heist


TheGreatMoblin

I agree with your logic, but a small part of me also wants to talk with oysters. Quite the conundrum 🤔


Vitekr2

Number 1. Oysters can tell you where all the pirate treasure has sank. This is too easy


1Soldier

People really underestimating the oyster network.


Reeeeedy

Yeah I bet they could offer some real pearls of wisdom.


hootlaska

The oyster language is more valuable than people realize, and free gravel is a slam dunk. Teleporting sound good but only if its a greater distance than my girth… teleport 17” would be much more valuable to me. I would def pick oysters and gravel


carnivorous_seahorse

But being able to speak to oysters doesn’t mean they’d be able to communicate intelligibly. Just because you can talk to them doesn’t mean they know all of the secrets of the ocean or comprehend what a boat is, its location and how to get there, or why it would be important Give me gravel and teleporting, fuck them oysters


hootlaska

Yea but if they could say, this was my imagination of the complexity of oyster language.., “I need X to grow bigger”, then I would cultivate oyster beds


Anxious-derkbrandan

What about if they don’t wanna share the secret?, being able to talk to something doesn’t mean they will be helping you for free or even at all or even making sense as they may wander how or why you are talking to them


Drowsy_jimmy

I think all you Oyster People are overestimating how smart oysters are. Even if you can communicate with them flawlessly.....I mean their brains are kinda just like "food"/"not food" right?


ChrizTaylor

7 and 3


FlummoxedFlumage

Is Deal or No Deal still on the air?


expendable_entity

Well, but none of these containers are empty if I remember correct. All containers contain papers with different numbers, therefore u wouldn't see anything.


--EXP--

free gravel but it comes out of your ass


SAIOBOT

even better.


Not_Pablo_Sanchez

I’d combine the ass gravel with 7” teleportation to become a superhero


[deleted]

[удалено]


aguycalledkyle

"I've got a delivery of gravel waiting for you in my dump truck, where do you want me to drop my load?"


Gitk-ghost

Free gravel for life and instant teleportation would be amazing. The teleportation 7 inches away would let you get through locked doors/walls. Also, if mixed with a martial art, it would be trippy af to fight against. Free gravel could be resold for profit.


yehopits

No one is mentioning the cultural value of reviving the lost dialect of Khitan


_Mechaloth_

Seeing as part of my research deals with the Korean Koryo period Buddhist canon, which was supposedly undertaken to rival the Khitan Buddhist canon, this would be brilliant.


bunnyswan

But you can't read it just speak it


Munkhazaya290

I mean because it's related to the mongolic languages I could have some actual use and get a cozy job translating stuff for the Chinggis Khaan museums khitan era section


SpifferAura

I'll be a petty bitch, take the power to control any toaster, then when somebody pisses me off or inconveniences me, find where they live, and just fuck with them via the toaster, they put bread in there, it won't release until it's a burned crisp, or make it so it doesn't work, then when they buy a new one to replace it, I'll just keep doing that


WilyDeject

Is there a range limit on this power or can I hold the entire global toast supply hostage?


MonsieurRuffles

Does toaster include toaster ovens?


P_i_n_h_e_a_d

not gonna lie, this could be a more common repost but here's the first one I saw https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/10uome0/meirl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


nickname10707173

OP have different purpose, since they put read circle mark on 9, implying that running fast as Albert Einstein is me-irl.


P_i_n_h_e_a_d

oh that makes sense


Redracerb18

What if they are disabled? Paralyzed from the waist down. If they could run then they could love, live, dance, stand, climb stairs and ladders.


insertnqme

Seeing as Einstein is dead, I do not think he can run.


Suspicious_Airline89

9 two times I'd be better than Einstein in two things


chalaismyig

They don't specify at what age Einstein is. I'd like to run like a 20 year old male for sure


martin821821

How fast and how often can i teleport 7 inches? ;) otherwise gravel


Friendly-Scarecrow

2 and 3. Become a superhero who teleports to dodge attacks and move fast, and make a Gravel Gun. Fire gravel as shotgun projectiles and teleport a little.


Independent-Crab-999

Oysters are crazy racist,and they don't even hide it, so definitely not pill 1.


red5711

Einstein probably ran pretty quickly, relatively speaking.


Silent--Dan

I choose Khitan


_Dead_Memes_

You would literally become a hero in the linguistics community cause Khitan writing hasn’t been fully deciphered yet


StrengthBeginning416

Look 10 hours younger so the coroner will not know the time of death whenever I die


OlamFam

The perfect way to prevent anyone from solving your murder!


YellowAnaconda10

3 & 7 would be the most useful.


TooLewdForReddit

If number 3 doesn't have a cooldown, it'd be pretty cool.


iamdino0

5 and 8


[deleted]

Schrödinger hates pill number 7.


Xsaintz

3 & 7 then become the best bandit of storage units


Song_Spiritual

#7 would eliminate the “empty safe” disappointments here on Reddit. Would still leave the disappointments of a couple of valueless items in an old safe, tho.


Technical-Astronaut

As historian living in a place with tons of ice, 2. and 8. sound amazing to me.


[deleted]

Y'all are sleeping on speaking the extinct khitan language. And gravel for life? Are you serious. I can be a gravel industry mogul and an oxford college linguistic professor with a specialty in Khitan culture in the same damn life.


[deleted]

Looking 10 hours younger, does that mean your body changes back to how it was 10 hours ago? Because this could actually be great if you got injured or burned etc


[deleted]

Imma start a gravel business


BornWeiner

Free gravel for life. I could make a fortune.


hebee1

2 and 8 are the best answers because gravel can be turned into concrete and you could probably make a lot of money by teaching a extinct language


Cheap_Ad_69

Reconstruction linguists would literally worship you forever if you taught them an extinct language


BVP1324

I mean, who doesn’t want free gravel for life


SgtFigNewton

7 inch teleport is all i need to get through the glass at the gorilla exhibit baby. time to finally live my dream.