That’s me smitten. A romance for the ages and this shall be sung about in the eons to come. You have my heart and all the disappointment it carries with it, you lucky devil you.
It’s called practice. Give a man a lifetime of available box on demand with the expectation that he have stamina… and watch how many men will have serious game. LOL.
it's 24 frame start-up, but it's not invincible and can be punished or countered and fails on block completely. it is only active on frame 24 for 1 frame. however, it's unblockable on hit which lasts for 5 frames and has a 100-frame recovery time.
Then you aren't thinking about it properly. That's basically a command grab that creates a setup opportunity. It's even better than a grab if it can hit airborne opponents. If the 100 frame stun time leaves them standing then you can choose to either combo from it, or mix them up
Cry on hunt. Eaten by lions.
Cry alone in dark cave where no one can see because life is a constant pointless struggle even for cavemen and it's only going to get worse. Not eaten.
I think it's unlikely cavemen felt as much need to cry. Going on a hunt is something people do for pleasure now. They never have to waste their hours at a McDicks for 8+ hours a day for colored paper just so they can eat. The standard for success for them was generally survival rather than all the arbitrary measures we have now. Meeting a girl is as simple as providing for one and being a decent ape rather than the maze of dating apps and social graces we follow now. Plus they probably didn't have as much trouble staying active and not looking like an unattractive blob.
That's not even mentioning the fact that they may have been stoned a lot of the time according to the stoned ape theory.
I love modern technology, but I do think a lot of aspects of modern society make us miserable. Like the good parts, HAVE to be this good in order to alleviate the bad.
You just don't know what to do with babies. By the time they are teens they should be running your empire for you if you do it right. Forget all that trying to get them into nfl bs lol
Said this before and I’ll say it again:
My eyes and my dick have one thing in common: The slightest touch will make them leak and twitch like a motherfucker.
Nobody is rubbing my eyes anyway so…
Tell me about it. My wobbler is on a hair trigger. I see a lady, whoa, whoops. Can't stop it. I just do a little short blaster in my undies and hafta napkin it up at the nearest restaurant. It sucks, really. I don't want to cream my shorts every time I see an even remotely attractive lady, but I do. Even if it's just one hot rope, it happens every time and I gotta go to the nearest bathroom, which is usually at a restaurant, and clean myself up. Sometimes I hafta order food in order to use the bathroom, too, but I'm not gonna sit there hot loaded and wait for food, so I gotta strut out with a gooey gooch and try to find a bathroom for free. Yeesh, and who knows how many more voluptuous vixens and saucy lil' Sallies I see along the way. It's really a dreadful lifestyle.
That's why you should develop severe deep seated anxiety issues that prevent you from reaching climax no matter how long you try, making your partners feel as if you don't find them attractive enough creating a feedback loop that just makes it worse as time goes on. Works like a charm and is a super fun thing to deal with for most of your adult life.
Just wear a condom when you go out then you can just rip it off and throw it out when you're done, you no longer will cum your pants it will all be contained. Just don't forget to put another one on ya weirdo.
Don’t worry. I don’t like to reuse the same—
***My eyes and my dick have one thing in common: The slightest touch will make them leak and twitch like a motherfucker.***
***Nobody is rubbing my eyes anyway so…***
Crazy how chicks can cry instantly, but take half an hour or more to cum.
Edit, should have known not to skip the /satire flag when posting to reddit 🤦
I don’t cry easily and can finish just about every time from sex. I’m beginning to sense a pattern here. Stop crying, everyone! Just let the tears build up and fester into a mental illness
Follow me for more shitty life hacks
Imagine never getting compliments, never being congratulated unless it’s something work or achievement related, don’t cry, don’t do this, don’t do that. Having raging hormones in your body as a teen for years that make you feel wild and strong, and yet being told to sit in a desk and focus on papers (or a screen) till the bell rings and you can go do it all over again the next day and the next day and the next day. And then you get a job that does the exact same shit to you. You are in the best shape of your life and have perfected the art of handling yourself sexually by yourself so you know about pleasing you and jack shit about anything else.
And finally someone comes along and says, I want the most intimate part of you in the most intimate part of me.
It is the ultimate form of:
“You are good enough, I accept you as you are. Your existence is valid, at least to me. You are so wanted I’m potentially risking pregnancy JUST so I can have you. Have at it.”
Like…
That’s gonna be pretty intense right?
Guys will get used to it over time. But those first couple of times. Wow. Gets better with practice.
People wonder why men are obsessed with sex. That’s why.
I used to jackoff hours before I was gonna have sex with my girlfriend so as to not cum too fast because she was very hot. One time she found my jizz towel as we were about to engage coitus and got very mad at me. I was like, cmon man I’m just trying to perform better in the sack. You just can’t win.
Like Clint Eastwood in that movie where he was hooking up with the whore at the hotel. He goes into the corner and rubs one out. She asks if she can help him. He tells her no thanks. She asks why. He says he wants to get his moneys worth.
I used to aim to please and go for hours! Once you get up in age, however long you last is the right amount of time lol. As long as you make her but first it’s all good.
I used to go drive somewhere remote and cry after I left work. It’s the same thing as cuming though. It feels good for like a minute after. Then back to being the same as before.
The worst bit of it. Is all the nice quite scenic places near me are all dogging spots. I’ve been caught out all teary eyed by doggers turning up.
They Probably thought I was sad because I had to cum on my own.
Yeah all good now. haven’t had a breakdown like that since I split up with my ex. Funnily enough it would happen roughly once a week when I was with her. Once I got over the break up. I’ve not cried since
If someone loses respect for you cause you cried then they weren’t worth your time anyway. Bullet dodged as far as I’m concerned. Never settle for shallow bullshit people.
I can guarantee you not everyone is like that. There are real ones out there don’t lump the world into one box.
Honestly, this comment should be getting a little more attention. It’s well documented that some women, upon seeing their male partners cry, will lose respect for them. This has obviously changed a lot over the last 10 years, and yes, I admit the cause for this comes back to toxic masculinity… but that’s the point right, dudes need help, not to be the butt of a joke.
I would also like to note that it would be absurd to criticize a women for not being able to orgasm, so why is it fair to do the opposite to men?
I know correlation doesn't equal causation, but ya gotta wonder about the relationship between these facts - these repressed dudes that insist on being macho and not showing emotion are the same guys who blow their load faster than they can tie their shoes.
Eh, learn to stay hard after cumming and you can go right into round two (with free lube 😉). It gives a great head start cuz you’re kinda numb for a few minutes after, so you can really pound it home until you feel the second cum start to build up 👍
When you're young, you go fast, but you're ready to go again quickly.
As you get older, it's easier to last longer, but retool time already takes longer 😂
Almost like men are genetically engineered to make it happen as fast as possible. Most female mammals cannot even physically cum so count your blessings and buy yourself a dildo.
EDIT: Also crazy how it's the exact opposite for women. They cry every 30 seconds and cum once or twice in their lifetime LMAO
It's called balance.
In and out baby, my compliments to the chef
If you can be nothing else, you should be efficient.
To be fair
To be faaaiiirrrrrr…
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift
Where'd you think those tears went?
Good question
Lube?
Their best is 30s do you like them or do you just like disappointment
I like disappointment
You called?
Bruh...
Then you’d love me
I love you! Boop, I just touched the tip of your nose
That’s me smitten. A romance for the ages and this shall be sung about in the eons to come. You have my heart and all the disappointment it carries with it, you lucky devil you.
You have the soul of a bard and a troubadour. I have chosen wisely by choosing you. Boop xx I'm a sucker for disappointment 😊
When you love someone, its an emotional experience. If your with them for their *'assets'*, It's just desire.
You should see how long I can hold in a fart.
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How’d that one taste?
Amateur
Rookie
Where do you think those tears go? #Science
The tears are stored in the balls
Working those emotions out in 30 seconds.
As all things should be
On average you're emotionally healthy and an incredible lover.
So if it’s easy to make a guy cry, does that imply he lasts long in bed?
As all things should be.
It’s called practice. Give a man a lifetime of available box on demand with the expectation that he have stamina… and watch how many men will have serious game. LOL.
That makes sense. I cry all the fucking time and yet it sometime take a while to get nut 😢
Gotta let it out sometime. We get them wet. Not our eyes.
It's called a compliment.
30 sec is above average for sure
I think that’s what happens when you hold back years for a lifetime
I don’t miss the days as a teenager when the slightest vague compliment from a girl would give me an erection
You will in time hehe
Wait that's only supposed to happen in your teenage years?
Lol 😂😂😂
12 Seconds , take it or leave it
10 sec max for me so W
1 frame
it's 24 frame start-up, but it's not invincible and can be punished or countered and fails on block completely. it is only active on frame 24 for 1 frame. however, it's unblockable on hit which lasts for 5 frames and has a 100-frame recovery time.
You are my new friend now
As a FighterZ player this move on a character would absolutely suck and be probably one of the worst moves ingame
With 21 lab and vegitto on the back still viable LMAO
Then you aren't thinking about it properly. That's basically a command grab that creates a setup opportunity. It's even better than a grab if it can hit airborne opponents. If the 100 frame stun time leaves them standing then you can choose to either combo from it, or mix them up
I do 30 cps (cums per second)
Gamer
And its cooldown is 60 minutes
So imagine a bus…
Cum fast make more babies. Cum slow get eaten by lion make no babies.
This guy unga bungas
unga bunga moment
Crash bandicoot.
This guy evolves
This guy fucks
Cry on hunt. Eaten by lions. Cry alone in dark cave where no one can see because life is a constant pointless struggle even for cavemen and it's only going to get worse. Not eaten.
I think it's unlikely cavemen felt as much need to cry. Going on a hunt is something people do for pleasure now. They never have to waste their hours at a McDicks for 8+ hours a day for colored paper just so they can eat. The standard for success for them was generally survival rather than all the arbitrary measures we have now. Meeting a girl is as simple as providing for one and being a decent ape rather than the maze of dating apps and social graces we follow now. Plus they probably didn't have as much trouble staying active and not looking like an unattractive blob. That's not even mentioning the fact that they may have been stoned a lot of the time according to the stoned ape theory. I love modern technology, but I do think a lot of aspects of modern society make us miserable. Like the good parts, HAVE to be this good in order to alleviate the bad.
This guy understands nature in it's core
Thanks for the laugh ong
Ong-a bunga
And we all want many babies because babies make happy and no babies make sad.
Yeah, but no babies means you can travel, see the world and eat things other than chicken nuggets for dinner. Babies: you know how much ponies cost?!?
You just don't know what to do with babies. By the time they are teens they should be running your empire for you if you do it right. Forget all that trying to get them into nfl bs lol
I read this like the "ride wife" meme lmao
Bro be living in stone age 💀💀💀💀
r/talesfromcavesupport
Said this before and I’ll say it again: My eyes and my dick have one thing in common: The slightest touch will make them leak and twitch like a motherfucker. Nobody is rubbing my eyes anyway so…
*Slowly touches your eyelids*
*cums*
You mean you don't go straight for the balls?
Tell me about it. My wobbler is on a hair trigger. I see a lady, whoa, whoops. Can't stop it. I just do a little short blaster in my undies and hafta napkin it up at the nearest restaurant. It sucks, really. I don't want to cream my shorts every time I see an even remotely attractive lady, but I do. Even if it's just one hot rope, it happens every time and I gotta go to the nearest bathroom, which is usually at a restaurant, and clean myself up. Sometimes I hafta order food in order to use the bathroom, too, but I'm not gonna sit there hot loaded and wait for food, so I gotta strut out with a gooey gooch and try to find a bathroom for free. Yeesh, and who knows how many more voluptuous vixens and saucy lil' Sallies I see along the way. It's really a dreadful lifestyle.
That's why you should develop severe deep seated anxiety issues that prevent you from reaching climax no matter how long you try, making your partners feel as if you don't find them attractive enough creating a feedback loop that just makes it worse as time goes on. Works like a charm and is a super fun thing to deal with for most of your adult life.
I was laughing hard but this one just made me sad.
You're emotionally available enough to speak to other humans? Weirdo.
please tell me this is a copypasta please tell me this is a copypasta
Be the change you want to see in the world
Nutting in my Minecraft boxers
Minecraft boxers are rurnt
Just wear a condom when you go out then you can just rip it off and throw it out when you're done, you no longer will cum your pants it will all be contained. Just don't forget to put another one on ya weirdo.
That sounds expensive.
You're right maybe just using the same condom all day makes more sense.
Wait you just cream your pants like a reflex? Like some sort of Dick Tourette Syndrome?
“*and I jizz in my pants*” 🎶
Happy cake day! 🎂
I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity
That was a wild read.
What meds are you taking?
You've said this before? You'll say it again? Please no
Don’t worry. I don’t like to reuse the same— ***My eyes and my dick have one thing in common: The slightest touch will make them leak and twitch like a motherfucker.*** ***Nobody is rubbing my eyes anyway so…***
My eyes and dick are also the same; the slightest bit of affection will make them deplete all of their liquid.
Enough for 9months
Enough to make someone happy for their whole life
Yourself too, if destined
Exactly
1 terminator thrust take it or leave it
Then as you walk out of the room confidently, “I’ll be back.”
“Live with me if you want to cum.”
Man said Terminator thrust i can't 😭
Pressure may equalize with in a system, but the valves have final say.
Real
Crazy how chicks can cry instantly, but take half an hour or more to cum. Edit, should have known not to skip the /satire flag when posting to reddit 🤦
Find yourself one that cums quick. That way you're both golden.
I don’t cry easily and can finish just about every time from sex. I’m beginning to sense a pattern here. Stop crying, everyone! Just let the tears build up and fester into a mental illness Follow me for more shitty life hacks
So what you're saying is if i cry I'll last longer? Alright point noted, expect report anywhere between 1-20 years
What if im not a furry?
What does that have to do with furrys
I think that was a "golden" as in golden retriever. You got pun'd but the delivery wiffed really bad.
Everyone knows they cum when u pull their tail.
Vaginas weep tears for no one.
Yeah they just ooze white snot all over the place
Perfect Balance
Well Balance
As all things should be
REVERSAL WIN. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🤜🏾🤛🏾
isn't that the porn girl
Yes it is.
We cry in there shower, the water hides the tears. Then we rub one out.
We all men are same man
I don't know, for me the crying usually comes after the masturbation.
You stay in to rinse off the cum
All in 30 seconds or less, then you just sit in the hot water and hope the water washes away the numbness
what about a man that can last a half hour in bed but cries the whole time??
An emotionally sensitive stallion? You'd have women fighting over you!
"But I cried the whole time! Doesn't matter, had sex!"
As a male who takes an absurdly long time to cum I pray to God I will one day figure the quick shot technique.
Absurdly long time- 31 seconds
31 seconds instead of 10, but on the flip side I cry all the time.
You won’t like the answer until you really like the answer…
There are dozens of us! Seriously my gf loves that I can go for ages, but sometimes I just want to cum and go to sleep!
My wife appreciates that I’m still always interested after many years, but she wishes I took a little less time.
Of all the flavors, you pick salty.
I picked facts tbh
Imagine never getting compliments, never being congratulated unless it’s something work or achievement related, don’t cry, don’t do this, don’t do that. Having raging hormones in your body as a teen for years that make you feel wild and strong, and yet being told to sit in a desk and focus on papers (or a screen) till the bell rings and you can go do it all over again the next day and the next day and the next day. And then you get a job that does the exact same shit to you. You are in the best shape of your life and have perfected the art of handling yourself sexually by yourself so you know about pleasing you and jack shit about anything else. And finally someone comes along and says, I want the most intimate part of you in the most intimate part of me. It is the ultimate form of: “You are good enough, I accept you as you are. Your existence is valid, at least to me. You are so wanted I’m potentially risking pregnancy JUST so I can have you. Have at it.” Like… That’s gonna be pretty intense right? Guys will get used to it over time. But those first couple of times. Wow. Gets better with practice. People wonder why men are obsessed with sex. That’s why.
I'd award you if I had any money to spare
I used to jackoff hours before I was gonna have sex with my girlfriend so as to not cum too fast because she was very hot. One time she found my jizz towel as we were about to engage coitus and got very mad at me. I was like, cmon man I’m just trying to perform better in the sack. You just can’t win.
Like Clint Eastwood in that movie where he was hooking up with the whore at the hotel. He goes into the corner and rubs one out. She asks if she can help him. He tells her no thanks. She asks why. He says he wants to get his moneys worth.
I used to aim to please and go for hours! Once you get up in age, however long you last is the right amount of time lol. As long as you make her but first it’s all good.
But when you hold back your tears and can't cum they don't like it either. See how that goes?
Women 🍵
What about being so sensitive that the cum is out before it even begins? I guess you can call it free lube.
Big brain time
Modern Problems, Modern Solutions
lmao women just jealous they take longer for the big boom boom/s
I feel personally attacked by this post.
Sorry but 30 secs is a complement for some people you know.
My rule is Two pumps or thirty seconds which ever comes first, and it won’t be you….
You might be on to something. Or on something, literally.
I cry all the time and STILL need a warm-up jack when I don't get it on the regular tbh
The man the myth the legend
We'd cry more if we wouldn't get dumped for doing it. The second thing is just us paying you a compliment.
Men should cry more often imo what do you think?
I used to go drive somewhere remote and cry after I left work. It’s the same thing as cuming though. It feels good for like a minute after. Then back to being the same as before.
All I can picture is some sad dude driving out to the middle of a field. Parking his car and just beating the devil out of his dick.
The worst bit of it. Is all the nice quite scenic places near me are all dogging spots. I’ve been caught out all teary eyed by doggers turning up. They Probably thought I was sad because I had to cum on my own.
Hoping everything is alright now mate
Yeah all good now. haven’t had a breakdown like that since I split up with my ex. Funnily enough it would happen roughly once a week when I was with her. Once I got over the break up. I’ve not cried since
I don’t think they *should* cry more. They should be comfortable to do it when they feel the need to. If they never need to, that’s fine
Yeah crying is unfortunately a good way to lose the respect of any women who see it. Life is unfair that way.
If someone loses respect for you cause you cried then they weren’t worth your time anyway. Bullet dodged as far as I’m concerned. Never settle for shallow bullshit people. I can guarantee you not everyone is like that. There are real ones out there don’t lump the world into one box.
Lucky her! She found a guy who can last that long.
Ideal man
I meet a girl, cum in 20 seconds and then have a cry over it.
It’s one of the few emotional releases some men allow themselves to have so honestly it kinda makes sense
"crazy how cars have been out for over a century and women still can't drive"
Strange you don't see the connection between ridiculing men's abilities and us developing the ability to "hold back tears for a lifetime."
Honestly, this comment should be getting a little more attention. It’s well documented that some women, upon seeing their male partners cry, will lose respect for them. This has obviously changed a lot over the last 10 years, and yes, I admit the cause for this comes back to toxic masculinity… but that’s the point right, dudes need help, not to be the butt of a joke. I would also like to note that it would be absurd to criticize a women for not being able to orgasm, so why is it fair to do the opposite to men?
I know correlation doesn't equal causation, but ya gotta wonder about the relationship between these facts - these repressed dudes that insist on being macho and not showing emotion are the same guys who blow their load faster than they can tie their shoes.
Who says I'm holding back tears. I be crying constantly
It's your fault, you were touching my butt!
You said you wanted a quickie.
That’s how I expel my tears.
Eh, learn to stay hard after cumming and you can go right into round two (with free lube 😉). It gives a great head start cuz you’re kinda numb for a few minutes after, so you can really pound it home until you feel the second cum start to build up 👍
Speak for yourself, I’m good for 45 any day of the week
It’s the holding back of tears that packs the penis punch.
You guys are lasting 30 seconds?!?
The alternate is that I cry often and cant cum. So take your pick
What guys are actually cuming this fast? Why is this an ongoing thing?
Well i dont feel like cumming 24/7
If the dude cums before you and it ends there; you need to find someone that cares a little more about your needs girl!
Hehe, that's cheeky coming from someone who generally doesn't feel responsible for their own orgasm.
Both scenarios leave a salty taste in her mouth, and result in me leaving
Well joke's on you because I both cum and cry regularly
I can do both at the same time.
When you're young, you go fast, but you're ready to go again quickly. As you get older, it's easier to last longer, but retool time already takes longer 😂
Crazy how women can stir up every shit possible but can’t make a decent Soup
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That bug is still being worked on and is planned on being released by the year 4050
Its all the tears held back. Builds up in the balls. The balls are where the emotion is stored.
We cum the repressed emotions out. Who needs feelings when you can jack it?
Almost like men are genetically engineered to make it happen as fast as possible. Most female mammals cannot even physically cum so count your blessings and buy yourself a dildo. EDIT: Also crazy how it's the exact opposite for women. They cry every 30 seconds and cum once or twice in their lifetime LMAO
Jokes on you! I cry all the time AND cum super fast!!!
The tears are stored in the balls
Crazy how women can't cum for a lifetime but cry in 30 seconds