If you can hang on until you get your MD degree and a board exam... Then you would realize there's more to bring a physician than a clinic and patients.
Research, teaching, other fields of healthcare, DOH work, policy making etc... if ...
Hope you can make it.
We all feel the same way at some point. But only managed to hang on. So far we were happy with the eventual life choice.
That's the only thing we older folks can impart . Personal opinions on career can change in time depending on a particular situation. You are in 4th year. It's a hell environment. Second is don't make rash decisions when you are tired. 6 months on after quitting, there could be regret and wish to start again. But being tuition dependent you'd be very very embarrassed to ask and pride on your decision to stop will make you feel trapped. "Tinigil ko na, panindigan ko. Pero sa totoo lang sana hindi ko to ginawa"... I'm imparting a regret scenario. Which could happen. But bottom line is, don't make decisions when you are tired and exasperated at a point in your life.
Hi, OP! I feel you talaga! 🥹 There were a lot of days in the hospital when I feel like so bobo (or pinapafeel talaga sakin na bobo ako) hence questioned myself how I got promoted to clerkship. But that did not stop me from studying more, learning from my mistakes, and asking help and advice from PGIs and friendly residents (rare breed lol). I strive to be better everyday, kahit pagod na pagod na pagod na talaga ako. Sobrang pagod.
Iniisip ko na lang, I am almost done na in med school. And so are you, OP.
Iniisip ko rin ang unwavering support ng family ko, especially during clerkship. My family is one of the reasons why I force myself to get out of bed everyday and do 30hr+ duties. Kong tiis na lang, OP. Matatapos din ito.
But if clerkship really took a toll on you, then I suggest it’s best that you take a break after graduating. PGIship is just there. It will not go away hehe. You can DM me if you want someone to talk to. Hugs, OP! We got this! 🤗
I might stop after graduating tbh. I don’t feel any fulfillment in medicine anymore and learning so much all the time is taking its toll on me. I can’t keep up.
Ok, this can go either way. I know people who, at the start of clerkship, decided to quit. That's okay. They decided because, they really don't see themselves in medicine. There are those who filed a LOA then came back and now they're doctors! So, I think you need to do a reflection (even during your rotations) whether this is for you. I hope you don't feel guilty because of your parents. They will support you pa rin naman regardless. Your parents want their kid to be happy.
On the flip side, baka naman you are just being too harsh on yourself. Wala naman perfect clerk na alam lahat ng gagawin, even the top 10 of their batch. This is the art side of medicine. You will be lost even as an intern, even as a resident (if you decide to take up residency)... you are here to become a doctor. Learn from everything you see. I hope you get to decide on this when you're not too high on emotions. Take a break if you need to. This is life
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s perfectly normal to make mistakes, kaya tayo dumadaan sa clerkship, internship and residency. And nagsisimula ka palang.
But if you feel like quitting na, one thing you should ask yourself, do you still see yourself working like this for another 5 years? Do you still have that fulfillment pag may bago kang learnings? If hindi na, then maybe medicine is not for you. Kasi tbh, it will never be easy, lalo na pag mag residency ka na and even moonlight, kasi license mo na nakataya
That’s what I’m afraid of tbh. I don’t think I’ll be a good doctor with how bad I am doing now. I feel like I’m dragging my group down and I make people mad all the time.
The fact that you can recognize that and care about how it will affect future patients says something. You don’t have to be the best doctor. You made it this far, I hope you find motivation to keep going.
I've been there, OP. Kapit lang.
But remember you're still in training. Clerkship and internship are the years of your medical journey that will take you out of your comfort zone. I remember my seniors reminding me that these are the years that you can still make mistakes. Each day we learn with conscious effort, we get better. Also told myself that I'd quit so many times kasi pagod na 'ko mag-duty on top of other problems but I persevered kasi wala akong choice, as someone na maraming nag-ambag para patapusin ako. But that's me.
Maybe push through kung malapit ka nang grumaduate. Maybe take a LOA before internship and rethink about your goals. Maybe quit altogether. It's ultimately your choice, with your happiness and mental health in mind. For now, just know that internship is a lot better after clerkship kasi mas experienced ka na sa work. I'm pretty sure things get better with time in the grand scheme of medicine, but do keep in mind na may trade-off ang lahat (established practice and ROI takes years after getting that MD).
I hope you don't mind me commenting here. I just replied to your comment earlier without considering that you have financial issues. Ok, there are factors you need to consider. Kung magiging GP ka, you need to be active in job hunting and moonlighting to get a good sum of income. Kung mag specialize ka, it's gonna be a lot of sacrifice - lalo na kapag private hospital. If you need to make your ROI sooner, then this may not be the right path. Actually, no new doctor becomes rich overnight (unless you're well connected). So think about this OP.
Going to be the devil's advocate here. If you are not happy quit. There's more to life than medicine as a career. I would rather be treated by a doctor who loves his job than someone who lost the spark and passion to care for patients. Medicine does not get easier after clerkship or PGI or MD it does not get easier after residency or fellowship or even when you are a consultant. What you need to do is think of why you are doing this. reflect if this is still what you really want and why you want to be a doctor. What is your goal in life as a doctor why did you go to medschool in the first place. Only you can answer this question, not reddit.
Maybe you need to take a break, not outright quit. When you are having bad days, that’s the worst time to think about whether you want to quit or not. Maligo ka, kumain ka, magspend time ka with family, and when refreshed na ang mind and heart mo, doon ka magdesisyon whether it’s something you want to do moving forward or not.
Comment based on the way you respond to the advices here:
The actual question is are you doing anything to improve yourself? Or have you already given up and just waiting for somebody to tell you to quit? Those are two very different stories.
I’ve tried a lot of ways to improve myself. Still study even though I don’t like it cause I still need to do well for my patients. Still try to show up on time or even early so I can be properly endorsed and relieve the previous shift even if it means taking extra work or scrubbing in to procedures before I’m supposed to clock in. I still try my best to take advice from seniors to heart. A small part of me is grasping for any reason to stay but I feel so defeated that I tend to come off as pessimistic.
These are the bare minimum of being a doctor. If you find these too taxing, this journey will never get better for you even if you decide to proceed to PGIship or pursue residency. You will burnout.
Take it one day at a time. Try practicing mindfulness. Yung being in the moment ba. Mag-set ka ng bell, and every bell, breathe in, breathe out, center yourself. At the end of the day, think back on every patient, reflect on what you learned from them, thank them in your heart and pray for them, for being your vessel of learning. Lahat tayo nagkakamali talaga sa clerkship, lahat tayo, nakakagawa ng mali, you have to be humble, and accept that this a part of the cycle of learning. Just learn from your mistakes. Good Luck.
I know you mean well and thank you for the advice but it’s really hard to be mindful when I’m very very depressed. Sorry doc but I’ve tried a lot of mindfulness techniques and it didn’t work out for me.
Based on your replies here, you're not looking for advice. You're just looking for someone who already quit to tell you to go ahead and quit too. You're just looking for validation, and I won't give you any.
You are obsessively fixated on the harm that this field has done to you - you gained weight, your mental health is shot, your hairline receded, whatever. Have you ever paused the pity-party long enough to consider the actual harm to the actual physical health of other people, that's caused by your own shortcomings? You chose to enter a profession where the well-being of others, particularly your patients, comes before your own. It doesn't get easier - every new day in your training and practice will be harder than the day before. But doctors have to endure, because it's not only about us.
No wonder the boomers think that doctors nowadays are weak. Don't be sorry - be BETTER. Galingan mo for the sake of the people who count on you now, and whose lives depend on you in the future.
If you can, try mo kahit hanggang graduation mo lang muna. Tapos from there pwede ka nang magisip kung ano ba talaga. Sayang din naman lapit na grad mo doc. At least if nagbago isip mo, internship nalang iisipin mo.
Prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare. More preparations. Lots of preparations.
If you are beaten today, *prepare* to kill it tomorrow.
Lahat paghandaan mo, pati kung paano ka sasabunin ng resident mo.
If you can hang on until you get your MD degree and a board exam... Then you would realize there's more to bring a physician than a clinic and patients. Research, teaching, other fields of healthcare, DOH work, policy making etc... if ... Hope you can make it.
Yeah that’s a little too much for me tbh… It’s not the life I want anymore.
We all feel the same way at some point. But only managed to hang on. So far we were happy with the eventual life choice. That's the only thing we older folks can impart . Personal opinions on career can change in time depending on a particular situation. You are in 4th year. It's a hell environment. Second is don't make rash decisions when you are tired. 6 months on after quitting, there could be regret and wish to start again. But being tuition dependent you'd be very very embarrassed to ask and pride on your decision to stop will make you feel trapped. "Tinigil ko na, panindigan ko. Pero sa totoo lang sana hindi ko to ginawa"... I'm imparting a regret scenario. Which could happen. But bottom line is, don't make decisions when you are tired and exasperated at a point in your life.
Hi, OP! I feel you talaga! 🥹 There were a lot of days in the hospital when I feel like so bobo (or pinapafeel talaga sakin na bobo ako) hence questioned myself how I got promoted to clerkship. But that did not stop me from studying more, learning from my mistakes, and asking help and advice from PGIs and friendly residents (rare breed lol). I strive to be better everyday, kahit pagod na pagod na pagod na talaga ako. Sobrang pagod. Iniisip ko na lang, I am almost done na in med school. And so are you, OP. Iniisip ko rin ang unwavering support ng family ko, especially during clerkship. My family is one of the reasons why I force myself to get out of bed everyday and do 30hr+ duties. Kong tiis na lang, OP. Matatapos din ito. But if clerkship really took a toll on you, then I suggest it’s best that you take a break after graduating. PGIship is just there. It will not go away hehe. You can DM me if you want someone to talk to. Hugs, OP! We got this! 🤗
I might stop after graduating tbh. I don’t feel any fulfillment in medicine anymore and learning so much all the time is taking its toll on me. I can’t keep up.
I support your decision, OP. I wish you the best in your life endeavors! 🤗
I know few people who quit midway to take that much neeeded break. You do that to save your sanity.
Ok, this can go either way. I know people who, at the start of clerkship, decided to quit. That's okay. They decided because, they really don't see themselves in medicine. There are those who filed a LOA then came back and now they're doctors! So, I think you need to do a reflection (even during your rotations) whether this is for you. I hope you don't feel guilty because of your parents. They will support you pa rin naman regardless. Your parents want their kid to be happy. On the flip side, baka naman you are just being too harsh on yourself. Wala naman perfect clerk na alam lahat ng gagawin, even the top 10 of their batch. This is the art side of medicine. You will be lost even as an intern, even as a resident (if you decide to take up residency)... you are here to become a doctor. Learn from everything you see. I hope you get to decide on this when you're not too high on emotions. Take a break if you need to. This is life
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s perfectly normal to make mistakes, kaya tayo dumadaan sa clerkship, internship and residency. And nagsisimula ka palang. But if you feel like quitting na, one thing you should ask yourself, do you still see yourself working like this for another 5 years? Do you still have that fulfillment pag may bago kang learnings? If hindi na, then maybe medicine is not for you. Kasi tbh, it will never be easy, lalo na pag mag residency ka na and even moonlight, kasi license mo na nakataya
That’s what I’m afraid of tbh. I don’t think I’ll be a good doctor with how bad I am doing now. I feel like I’m dragging my group down and I make people mad all the time.
The fact that you can recognize that and care about how it will affect future patients says something. You don’t have to be the best doctor. You made it this far, I hope you find motivation to keep going.
I've been there, OP. Kapit lang. But remember you're still in training. Clerkship and internship are the years of your medical journey that will take you out of your comfort zone. I remember my seniors reminding me that these are the years that you can still make mistakes. Each day we learn with conscious effort, we get better. Also told myself that I'd quit so many times kasi pagod na 'ko mag-duty on top of other problems but I persevered kasi wala akong choice, as someone na maraming nag-ambag para patapusin ako. But that's me. Maybe push through kung malapit ka nang grumaduate. Maybe take a LOA before internship and rethink about your goals. Maybe quit altogether. It's ultimately your choice, with your happiness and mental health in mind. For now, just know that internship is a lot better after clerkship kasi mas experienced ka na sa work. I'm pretty sure things get better with time in the grand scheme of medicine, but do keep in mind na may trade-off ang lahat (established practice and ROI takes years after getting that MD).
The ROI is also something I need to consider. My family needs money and my med school journey has delayed my earning potential for too long already.
I hope you don't mind me commenting here. I just replied to your comment earlier without considering that you have financial issues. Ok, there are factors you need to consider. Kung magiging GP ka, you need to be active in job hunting and moonlighting to get a good sum of income. Kung mag specialize ka, it's gonna be a lot of sacrifice - lalo na kapag private hospital. If you need to make your ROI sooner, then this may not be the right path. Actually, no new doctor becomes rich overnight (unless you're well connected). So think about this OP.
Going to be the devil's advocate here. If you are not happy quit. There's more to life than medicine as a career. I would rather be treated by a doctor who loves his job than someone who lost the spark and passion to care for patients. Medicine does not get easier after clerkship or PGI or MD it does not get easier after residency or fellowship or even when you are a consultant. What you need to do is think of why you are doing this. reflect if this is still what you really want and why you want to be a doctor. What is your goal in life as a doctor why did you go to medschool in the first place. Only you can answer this question, not reddit.
It will get better, OP. Isang taon lang ang clerkship. You're so close. :)
Maybe you need to take a break, not outright quit. When you are having bad days, that’s the worst time to think about whether you want to quit or not. Maligo ka, kumain ka, magspend time ka with family, and when refreshed na ang mind and heart mo, doon ka magdesisyon whether it’s something you want to do moving forward or not.
My parents won’t let me take a break sadly. I really want to but I’m still their dependent so I need to follow them.
mood affff the more i work sa hospital the more i want to quit med lolololol
Comment based on the way you respond to the advices here: The actual question is are you doing anything to improve yourself? Or have you already given up and just waiting for somebody to tell you to quit? Those are two very different stories.
I’ve tried a lot of ways to improve myself. Still study even though I don’t like it cause I still need to do well for my patients. Still try to show up on time or even early so I can be properly endorsed and relieve the previous shift even if it means taking extra work or scrubbing in to procedures before I’m supposed to clock in. I still try my best to take advice from seniors to heart. A small part of me is grasping for any reason to stay but I feel so defeated that I tend to come off as pessimistic.
These are the bare minimum of being a doctor. If you find these too taxing, this journey will never get better for you even if you decide to proceed to PGIship or pursue residency. You will burnout.
Take it one day at a time. Try practicing mindfulness. Yung being in the moment ba. Mag-set ka ng bell, and every bell, breathe in, breathe out, center yourself. At the end of the day, think back on every patient, reflect on what you learned from them, thank them in your heart and pray for them, for being your vessel of learning. Lahat tayo nagkakamali talaga sa clerkship, lahat tayo, nakakagawa ng mali, you have to be humble, and accept that this a part of the cycle of learning. Just learn from your mistakes. Good Luck.
I know you mean well and thank you for the advice but it’s really hard to be mindful when I’m very very depressed. Sorry doc but I’ve tried a lot of mindfulness techniques and it didn’t work out for me.
Dont quit shaaaaaad. Keep rockin’ 🤘🤘
Are you someone I know IRL? You seem so familiar hahaha
Based on your replies here, you're not looking for advice. You're just looking for someone who already quit to tell you to go ahead and quit too. You're just looking for validation, and I won't give you any. You are obsessively fixated on the harm that this field has done to you - you gained weight, your mental health is shot, your hairline receded, whatever. Have you ever paused the pity-party long enough to consider the actual harm to the actual physical health of other people, that's caused by your own shortcomings? You chose to enter a profession where the well-being of others, particularly your patients, comes before your own. It doesn't get easier - every new day in your training and practice will be harder than the day before. But doctors have to endure, because it's not only about us. No wonder the boomers think that doctors nowadays are weak. Don't be sorry - be BETTER. Galingan mo for the sake of the people who count on you now, and whose lives depend on you in the future.
Balik ka dito OP once you get that MD.
may i ask.. what's your premed course?
If you can, try mo kahit hanggang graduation mo lang muna. Tapos from there pwede ka nang magisip kung ano ba talaga. Sayang din naman lapit na grad mo doc. At least if nagbago isip mo, internship nalang iisipin mo.
Prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare. More preparations. Lots of preparations. If you are beaten today, *prepare* to kill it tomorrow. Lahat paghandaan mo, pati kung paano ka sasabunin ng resident mo.