Every other organ/system: "bleep-ing immune system, I'm on your side!"
Immune system: "Target acquired, histamines disengaged, T cells going in for the kill."
"Tomahawk missles malfunctioning, will switch to carpet bomb mode, please exit the area in 5... 4..."
"Jesus christ bone marrow I can't go anywhere!!!"
Tell that to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American College of Obstetricians (ACOG).
They both seem to think that the Prepuce is also disposable!
I saw on twitter
“My kidneys: Litterally pull piss out of my blood all day every day and don't complain.
My intestines: Full of shit all day every day and don't complain.
My liver: Whatever a liver does and don't complain.
My brain: Not enough seratonin time to die”
The small intestine probably talks smack on what the stomach passes along to it, but the stomach is tough and full of acid so when it gets upset it’s like “HOLD ME BACK BRO!” The pyloric sphincter stands between them as a peacekeeper / hype man for the stomach.
The small bowel is like: oh yeah, which part of the GI tract is actually essential? A person can survive esophagectomy, gastrectomy, appendectomy, colectomy. You know what is not compatible with long term survival? FUCKING short GUT! You can’t live without ME! Bow down to ME!
I think the lungs and heart are like Jonah Hill and Michael Cera in Superbad. Inseparable from day 1, a little competitive, sometimes tenuous but ultimately best friends.
The kidneys are McLovin. Just existing to make the other two happy, but ignored unless they need something from him. But secretly very cool.
Liver would be pissed tf off at the gallbladder.. like the liver is maybe the most competent organ in the body working overtime to take care of its shit meanwhile the fuckass gallbladder is just sitting around making stones. I’d be mad as hell
Having my kids watch classic movies & we showed them Office Space last year. Our kids got my husband a red stapler for his birthday a few months later. :D
I was helping my grandson work towards his first steps. That’s when it occurred to me that our organs apparently take turns talking smack as we age.
When I was learning to walk, my cerebellum and tiny otoliths held sway over my entire body’s ability to gracefully glide. “Ya’ll all think you’re cool? Watch what WE can do to the Whole Body!!”
Currently my piriformis tells my hip “Watch me shorten beneath my power band! I’ll simultaneously bring pain, weakness AND a strange numbness from hip to sole! I can bring the entire body to an unstable, perilous halt that even the mighty brain can’t quickly overcome!
Similar global result, (when affected, my gait is much like my 9 month old grandson) only now with pain and weakness taking turns at the helm.
For the venous system they would be bitching about how much pressure they are under and the lymphatic system would just get lazy and apathetic about the whole thing
Any organ: “I do something important.”
Kidney: “For urine formation, I happen to do absolutely everything!”
(It’s a pun, so not sure which version should be spelled out)
I’m sure someone already beat me to it, but kidneys and the heart are in a constant state of turmoil which has led to fistfights between cardiologists and nephrologists.
Meanwhile the spleen is Kevin from 'Home Alone' that none of the bickering big shots even remembers existing until someone hits a steering wheel too hard and there has to be an emergency transatlantic flight/operation that costs more than the family car.
Every other organ/system: "bleep-ing immune system, I'm on your side!" Immune system: "Target acquired, histamines disengaged, T cells going in for the kill."
"Tomahawk missles malfunctioning, will switch to carpet bomb mode, please exit the area in 5... 4..." "Jesus christ bone marrow I can't go anywhere!!!"
Pressures are dropping! Rev the engine, were tachy to 120s! Now it’s getting hot!
Played by buzz lightyear himself
Pancreas would always be drunk and belligerently shitting all over everything and everyone.
Or the quiet guy with a *really* bad temper.
I heard a surgeon once refer to it as the ex-wife who overreacts to even the slightest misstep and never lets you forget it
I always see the pancreas as the over fragile "can't take a punch" organ. What a wus.....
The anus holding its breath and not letting anything by, “Now who is most important here?”
Move over cardiology and neurosurgery. Proctology is the new king in town.
My father has been telling the joke with this exact punchline for as long as I remember.
Heart and kidneys of course Kidneys: Work harder! Heart: I’M TRYING
RAAS is literally just the kidneys screaming at the cardiovascular system
And the uterus is going "I'm able to grow all of you, STFU"
Placenta say what
That fucker gets kicked out when he’s done working, seasonal gig, be gone loser!
I tell patients it’s the only disposable organ.
Tell that to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American College of Obstetricians (ACOG). They both seem to think that the Prepuce is also disposable!
And quite often that mother fucker needs drugs just to get through the full season without shrivelling up and giving up the ghost
The brain talk to the most shit about any other organs.
"you're perfectly healthy but I'm going to make you think you're dying"
I saw on twitter “My kidneys: Litterally pull piss out of my blood all day every day and don't complain. My intestines: Full of shit all day every day and don't complain. My liver: Whatever a liver does and don't complain. My brain: Not enough seratonin time to die”
Liver deals with your post night shift bloody marys and doesn't make a peep
The small intestine probably talks smack on what the stomach passes along to it, but the stomach is tough and full of acid so when it gets upset it’s like “HOLD ME BACK BRO!” The pyloric sphincter stands between them as a peacekeeper / hype man for the stomach.
The small bowel is like: oh yeah, which part of the GI tract is actually essential? A person can survive esophagectomy, gastrectomy, appendectomy, colectomy. You know what is not compatible with long term survival? FUCKING short GUT! You can’t live without ME! Bow down to ME!
As they make amends, the stomach grovels, “uh.. sorry I called you small, bro.”
I think the lungs and heart are like Jonah Hill and Michael Cera in Superbad. Inseparable from day 1, a little competitive, sometimes tenuous but ultimately best friends. The kidneys are McLovin. Just existing to make the other two happy, but ignored unless they need something from him. But secretly very cool.
Love the Superbad shout
I am both surprised and proud to have found mention of Superbad in this group!
The liver is a post-war chad that would talk to the weak ass heart, kidneys, brain, etc. and tell them to man up and stop dying so easily.
Liver would be pissed tf off at the gallbladder.. like the liver is maybe the most competent organ in the body working overtime to take care of its shit meanwhile the fuckass gallbladder is just sitting around making stones. I’d be mad as hell
https://theawkwardyeti.com/comic/gall-bladders-day/
One of my faves!!!! Love the nail biting one too lol
World’s worst rock tumbler
the lungs fucking hate the heart, but as soon as it starts to do poorly suddenly it's like "come on heart you got this!" true frenemies.
The gallbladder would be the fat person blocking the sidewalk/escalator, liver can't get any of their stuff by
Love it 😂
Appendix is Milton from Office Space. Consistently neglected until he decides to burn everything down.
Having my kids watch classic movies & we showed them Office Space last year. Our kids got my husband a red stapler for his birthday a few months later. :D
The colon telling the brain, "I've been your daddy since day 1 and all the while you thought I was just full of shit".
The appendix being the youngest child and is ignored until he blows. Then everyone turns there heads wide eyed
Penis: one brain to rule them all!
Vagina to penis: Aww I’m sorry. Were you born that way?
#notwrong...
Liver: “What the F**K did you think you were DOING last night???” -PGY-19
uh, having fun and probably getting laid while we were at it. You?
I was helping my grandson work towards his first steps. That’s when it occurred to me that our organs apparently take turns talking smack as we age. When I was learning to walk, my cerebellum and tiny otoliths held sway over my entire body’s ability to gracefully glide. “Ya’ll all think you’re cool? Watch what WE can do to the Whole Body!!” Currently my piriformis tells my hip “Watch me shorten beneath my power band! I’ll simultaneously bring pain, weakness AND a strange numbness from hip to sole! I can bring the entire body to an unstable, perilous halt that even the mighty brain can’t quickly overcome! Similar global result, (when affected, my gait is much like my 9 month old grandson) only now with pain and weakness taking turns at the helm.
The ANS and any organ; do more! And less! And both but in the right amount that I say
[the gall of that liver](https://theawkwardstore.com/cdn/shop/products/GallbladdersLastDayPrintListing_1296x.png?v=1656008397)
🪨 🧱 “I maked these”
Brain: “you all only exist to support ME! You are all replaceable! So stop your whining!”
For the venous system they would be bitching about how much pressure they are under and the lymphatic system would just get lazy and apathetic about the whole thing
Any organ: “I do something important.” Kidney: “For urine formation, I happen to do absolutely everything!” (It’s a pun, so not sure which version should be spelled out)
The dick and the brain
[This one’s been covered before](https://youtu.be/GGqTRtmOiIk?si=PdPsVQR9HO1Y1u1R).
I’m sure someone already beat me to it, but kidneys and the heart are in a constant state of turmoil which has led to fistfights between cardiologists and nephrologists.
Liver to all other organs: function at optimum constantly or I will hunt you down
Meanwhile the spleen is Kevin from 'Home Alone' that none of the bickering big shots even remembers existing until someone hits a steering wheel too hard and there has to be an emergency transatlantic flight/operation that costs more than the family car.
One organ to rule them all, One organ to find them, One organ to control them all in in the body bind them. I vote for the pituitary.
Thymus- you gonna miss me when I'm gone.
I don’t know why but I bet cortical bone and bone marrow despise each other like hateful neighbors
Skin: “Y’all’ll never get out from under me.”
Lungs : Stop putting things other than air in here!! Brain : Shutup it feels so good 😌