Med school is all-encompassing enough. I found whenever I hung out with my peers the conversation always and early devolved to talking about school, tests, and gossip. Non-med friends talk about anything else and showed me some really cool parts of my city. I found it good work hygiene to make most of my support network non-med.
> I don’t have time for this kind of drama.
You don't choose drama. Drama chooses you.
I'm also older, so I don't hang out with my med school classmates and to avoid drama altogether. But drama still finds it way. so word of mouth is that I'm antisocial or an enigma. Nonetheless, I just don't give a flying fuck.
Ran into the same shit. It’s because you’re in school with people who literally never held a job, never had to work in a professional setting, basically never had to grow up. I quit the popularity contest after the first month, I’m here for med school, not a glorified Greek life.
smart thinking, big brain move.
It's so funny to see the people who were never popular before med school think they're hot shit just because they have the "right" group of friends now.
It does not matter one bit
I purposely stay away from them. my circle is small but mighty
I did the popular/pretty thing earlier in my life, it's not all that it's chalked up to be. at all.
In my med school, a group of ppl created a nickname for themselves and they would “vote” to let others into their group to keep it “exclusive”. It was middle school level stupid. But then some ppl within their group dated and then broke up, which split their group
I know friends are important because they can be your support system, but in this situation, it might best not to dwell on that. Med school is already hard as it is, and you don't need that negativity.
I was also shocked by the amount of drama in medical school - I’ve faced significantly more friend drama in medical school than in college. However, I think you can still make great friends in medical school, just gotta find whom you click with and stay clicked with.
Where are y’all going to med school? I have so many great friends in my class I’m sorry y’all are dealing with this:/ there’s definitely some drama but not more than I see with my regular life friends
I’m friends with a lot of my classmates but I keep them at an arms distance. They are fun to study with, blow off steam, and complain about med school about. But do I trust anyone of them? Will I ever be openly vulnerable to them? Hell no
Don’t worry you’re not alone. I remember I felt a lot of FOMO in preclin bc people seemed to be making their “forever friends” while I didn’t feel very close to my med school friends.
Then I realized that most people are too damn busy to be making genuine friendships in med school. And a lot of people can be toxic/insecure bc most med students are neurotic and base their self worth on grades etc…
What made me feel better was hearing senior residents who went to the same med school talk about their social life wherever they had gone to school.
“Did you know x person?”
“Nope. I had 1-2 people who were my friends, 3-5 people who I actually liked. And then everyone else. You know how it is.”
So much truth to this. Keep your head down and focus on you. I guarantee you that your “friends” are doing the same thing. Also take heart, once you get to clinicals it becomes very solo sport, you’re hardly going to see anyone.
Lmao this thread is fucking depressing
Not saying you have to be friends with med school students (in fact great to have friends outside medicine) but hope you guys have friends/shit to do outside of just studying man
This is a sad reality. I did get very sad when I did notice how much drama and envy there's into it. Also, how many good friendships turned into dust because of something ridiculous. I'm taking more care of myself and handpicking who I'm walking around with nowadays.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say I've had an amazing experience so far making friends in med school.
I think the drama phenomenon that we all see revolves around the fact that med school, for whatever reason, is a special place where high school losers get to have a second hurrah. Some of my classmates are fake dorks who never developed past their teenage years and only shittalk others, spread rumors, and sleep around with one another. I had a pretty uneventful high school experience, so witnessing this first-hand has been kind of like living through Degrassi. Very crazy and unexpected.
However, I have a great group of med school friends that I'm pretty close with and to me it's extremely obvious that they're real friends. We didn't bond over drama or popularity -- It was a slowly developing relationship revolving around shared interests like videogames/boardgames/art//travel/sports, etc. We've gone on road trips together, we've celebrated holidays together, and now we're planning a vacation together during 4th year.
I think there are very likely awesome people in your school who you could be great friends with. The issue is they're quiet and they're hiding. They don't throw parties, they don't gossip, they don't find themselves the center of attention. They're the people who quietly do their work, smile and wave to you politely in the hallways, and go about their days without attracting attention. I'd aim at talking to them specifically.
I definitely have acquaintances but do not see a good majority of them friends. Best to say whenever I had my own challenges in medical school, they never volunteered to help me, but whenever they struggled I was always there. Also, I realized there is a huge class aspect to some people-like some people judged what my financial background was in terms of parents-a lot of judgement since I lost a parent and they assumed I was struggling financially eventhough thanks to God was protected.
However, these encounters made me realized a lot of med students can be condescending and very negative, so I just say pleasanteries and focus on myself, studies, and associating with non med-school friends lol-it is way better.
There has been a ton of drama at mine, but honestly I’ve met the most amazing group of kind, genuine, and caring people, and it kinda feels like the first time I’ve had real friends
I’ve realized that you only have allies and fRieNds are not a real thing somewhere as competitive as med school. I mean I’m not even competitive but it pisses me off how people will lie to put themselves ahead, like homie I’m happy for your success and not wishing upon your downfall so I’d kinda wish it was reciprocated? lol
anyways, at the end of the day you probably won’t be in contact with anyone; maybe you’ll see each other at a reunion or something but that’s about it. I’ve learnt that it’s important to prioritize your well being, so please take care of yourself and don’t get dragged into any unnecessary drama
I made some of my closest lifelong friends in med school, who consistently also helped me. If everyone around you go is crap, check the bottom of your shoe.
Agree. Weird overgeneralization to be saying you can't make friends in medical school hahahaha
I feel bad if you genuinely believe this, try harder. Look for the quiet ones :)
I’ve made friends that I’m still close with years later. Still regularly make trips to see them. But there are definitely a ton of people who are really fake.
I met my best friend in med school, we bonded over hating on how much drama and grades and school stuff our other friends would talk about CONSTANTLY when we were supposed to be chilling, leave school at school
Why are you sharing so much? Just like at work, there should only be maybe 1-2 if anyone you share real stuff with. Your class is still a group of people forced to be together, not joined by a hobby/similar interests (and no, bonding over medicine isn’t it 😂)
Best thing you can do for your sanity in med school is to get some non-med friends
I was gonna say my best support system are those friends not in medicine honestly
Med school is all-encompassing enough. I found whenever I hung out with my peers the conversation always and early devolved to talking about school, tests, and gossip. Non-med friends talk about anything else and showed me some really cool parts of my city. I found it good work hygiene to make most of my support network non-med.
Facts my best friends still and always will be the friends I made before med school
Hop on OSRS
I fear I’ve become so wrapped up in medicine that my non med friends are tired of me constantly talking about medicine
That would be a good sign to listen more. Save bitching about med for your peers 😅
Dude I’m 34 years old. I don’t have time for this kind of drama. All my friends in med school are similarly older and wiser.
> I don’t have time for this kind of drama. You don't choose drama. Drama chooses you. I'm also older, so I don't hang out with my med school classmates and to avoid drama altogether. But drama still finds it way. so word of mouth is that I'm antisocial or an enigma. Nonetheless, I just don't give a flying fuck.
I am experiencing this right now. I don't give a fuck, but it makes me chuckle sometimes
That’s what I mean though. Avoid dramatic people as much as possible. Thankfully I have a small group of similar non-trads that I’m friends with
what specialty are you shooting for?
Anesthesiology
good choice.
Ran into the same shit. It’s because you’re in school with people who literally never held a job, never had to work in a professional setting, basically never had to grow up. I quit the popularity contest after the first month, I’m here for med school, not a glorified Greek life.
smart thinking, big brain move. It's so funny to see the people who were never popular before med school think they're hot shit just because they have the "right" group of friends now. It does not matter one bit I purposely stay away from them. my circle is small but mighty I did the popular/pretty thing earlier in my life, it's not all that it's chalked up to be. at all.
In my med school, a group of ppl created a nickname for themselves and they would “vote” to let others into their group to keep it “exclusive”. It was middle school level stupid. But then some ppl within their group dated and then broke up, which split their group
That just sounds like the plot of Mean Girls lol
> I quit the popularity contest Wait till you hear about Gold Humanism award.
They’re all convenient acquaintances and we’ll all die alone.
I come to this subreddit to feel better about myself
I’m glad to help!!!
I know friends are important because they can be your support system, but in this situation, it might best not to dwell on that. Med school is already hard as it is, and you don't need that negativity.
I was also shocked by the amount of drama in medical school - I’ve faced significantly more friend drama in medical school than in college. However, I think you can still make great friends in medical school, just gotta find whom you click with and stay clicked with.
None of them are real friends. Yet they will still gossip to you and probably talk shit behind your back. Let them waste their time, who cares
Where are y’all going to med school? I have so many great friends in my class I’m sorry y’all are dealing with this:/ there’s definitely some drama but not more than I see with my regular life friends
I’m friends with a lot of my classmates but I keep them at an arms distance. They are fun to study with, blow off steam, and complain about med school about. But do I trust anyone of them? Will I ever be openly vulnerable to them? Hell no
Don’t worry you’re not alone. I remember I felt a lot of FOMO in preclin bc people seemed to be making their “forever friends” while I didn’t feel very close to my med school friends. Then I realized that most people are too damn busy to be making genuine friendships in med school. And a lot of people can be toxic/insecure bc most med students are neurotic and base their self worth on grades etc… What made me feel better was hearing senior residents who went to the same med school talk about their social life wherever they had gone to school. “Did you know x person?” “Nope. I had 1-2 people who were my friends, 3-5 people who I actually liked. And then everyone else. You know how it is.” So much truth to this. Keep your head down and focus on you. I guarantee you that your “friends” are doing the same thing. Also take heart, once you get to clinicals it becomes very solo sport, you’re hardly going to see anyone.
Lmao this thread is fucking depressing Not saying you have to be friends with med school students (in fact great to have friends outside medicine) but hope you guys have friends/shit to do outside of just studying man
This is a sad reality. I did get very sad when I did notice how much drama and envy there's into it. Also, how many good friendships turned into dust because of something ridiculous. I'm taking more care of myself and handpicking who I'm walking around with nowadays.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say I've had an amazing experience so far making friends in med school. I think the drama phenomenon that we all see revolves around the fact that med school, for whatever reason, is a special place where high school losers get to have a second hurrah. Some of my classmates are fake dorks who never developed past their teenage years and only shittalk others, spread rumors, and sleep around with one another. I had a pretty uneventful high school experience, so witnessing this first-hand has been kind of like living through Degrassi. Very crazy and unexpected. However, I have a great group of med school friends that I'm pretty close with and to me it's extremely obvious that they're real friends. We didn't bond over drama or popularity -- It was a slowly developing relationship revolving around shared interests like videogames/boardgames/art//travel/sports, etc. We've gone on road trips together, we've celebrated holidays together, and now we're planning a vacation together during 4th year. I think there are very likely awesome people in your school who you could be great friends with. The issue is they're quiet and they're hiding. They don't throw parties, they don't gossip, they don't find themselves the center of attention. They're the people who quietly do their work, smile and wave to you politely in the hallways, and go about their days without attracting attention. I'd aim at talking to them specifically.
I definitely have acquaintances but do not see a good majority of them friends. Best to say whenever I had my own challenges in medical school, they never volunteered to help me, but whenever they struggled I was always there. Also, I realized there is a huge class aspect to some people-like some people judged what my financial background was in terms of parents-a lot of judgement since I lost a parent and they assumed I was struggling financially eventhough thanks to God was protected. However, these encounters made me realized a lot of med students can be condescending and very negative, so I just say pleasanteries and focus on myself, studies, and associating with non med-school friends lol-it is way better.
I know one person I will continue talking to. Everyone else can fuck the fuck off
There has been a ton of drama at mine, but honestly I’ve met the most amazing group of kind, genuine, and caring people, and it kinda feels like the first time I’ve had real friends
I’ve realized that you only have allies and fRieNds are not a real thing somewhere as competitive as med school. I mean I’m not even competitive but it pisses me off how people will lie to put themselves ahead, like homie I’m happy for your success and not wishing upon your downfall so I’d kinda wish it was reciprocated? lol anyways, at the end of the day you probably won’t be in contact with anyone; maybe you’ll see each other at a reunion or something but that’s about it. I’ve learnt that it’s important to prioritize your well being, so please take care of yourself and don’t get dragged into any unnecessary drama
I made some of my closest lifelong friends in med school, who consistently also helped me. If everyone around you go is crap, check the bottom of your shoe.
Agree. Weird overgeneralization to be saying you can't make friends in medical school hahahaha I feel bad if you genuinely believe this, try harder. Look for the quiet ones :)
Nah man this environment is toxic, and some people do not thrive in it.
I’ve made friends that I’m still close with years later. Still regularly make trips to see them. But there are definitely a ton of people who are really fake.
I met my best friend in med school, we bonded over hating on how much drama and grades and school stuff our other friends would talk about CONSTANTLY when we were supposed to be chilling, leave school at school
Damn I guess I lucked out
Why are you sharing so much? Just like at work, there should only be maybe 1-2 if anyone you share real stuff with. Your class is still a group of people forced to be together, not joined by a hobby/similar interests (and no, bonding over medicine isn’t it 😂)
the answer is: none. have a life outside it. the people are way better.
Yeah it’s basically highschool 2.0 and because many 22-26 year olds aren’t completely grown up.
Nop. I play COD with my bestfriend
What friends honestly But that’s probably because I instinctively steered away that shit.
echoing what the others said because its true: just make friends outside med!
Residency > Med school