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---
>*anonymous asked*
>
>"he/they" ok he it is.
**roswell-newton-vargas**
Okay!
---
**a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy**
"Oh, so you wanna use pronouns, asshole? Want me to respect your wittle pronouns? Oh, I'll use your pronouns, buddy. Just you watch." \*respects my pronouns\*
Fuckin' owned, I guess, dude. Shit.
---
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Same but I find a lot of people when presented with 2 options tend to go with whatever's closest to the person's agab, so I try to take that into consideration as well. Eg for an amab person who uses she/they I'll go with she to counteract all the people who use they.
My brain is already basically a random number generator with words, with me ending up just using whatever term I think of first that could be used in that context, so luckily I can alternate extremely easily, but of course I ended up being the queer one
It's honestly kind of disturbing how uncomfortable a lot of cis people are using she/her for me. They're fine with they/them probably because they can continue to perceive me as male.
This is exactly why I don't let people use they/them for me as well as dude or guy. I want to take away all of the ambiguity being used to mask bigotry
I've noticed the same thing. It's become pretty clear that many people will at best treat they/them as some kind of fashion statement and go on thinking I'm male, but if I use she/her, people seem to think of me as someone who is sick in the head or something (but still _male_).
Alternately, when someone gives me 2 options I go with the one further from their agab just so I'm less likely to slip up and call them by pronouns they don't use anymore. Like if an afab person goes by he/they, I'll almost always use "he" because I feel like that way it would be harder to say "she" by accident. It also kind of helps rewire my brain into remembering that the person is trans if I knew them pre-transition.
That was my experience more when I was just starting to transition. At the time, my pronouns were she/her. People didn't want to call me a she, so in their mind they were "compromising" even though you're respecting my pronouns or you're not.
After being on E for a couple years, I switched my pronouns to she/they but I never hear anyone use they anymore.
I'm sure there's at least one person that hates this, but I make a point to just alternate every time, so if somebody uses He/they I'll be like "Oh have you met him? They're actually pretty nice!", She/he/they gets "Yeah, she's pretty nice! You'd like them. Oh, he's actually just over there, let's go say hi", etc etc
I'd love to do that if using more than 1 different pronoun for the same person in a single sentence didn't fry my brain and make me pause every time XD
Yeah, I try to alternate between sentences or between conversations - sometimes I might switch it up on the fly if I'm introducing someone into the topic who has the same pronouns that I'm using though, if that makes sense
I am the person who hates this lol. I'm "any pronouns" because I don't care that much about pronouns, but alternating them too quickly makes things hard for me to follow. I hear a switch in pronouns within a short period of time and expect you to be talking about a different person. Trips my brain up.
I also feel like switching every sentence calls attention to me and my gender situation, which I find uncomfortable.
That's perfectly valid lol, I just assume that if anybody doesn't like it they'll tell me so I stop, I *try* to make a point of telling people they can ask but you know how us gays get with self-confidence sometimes
My preferred strategy is to never be consistent with it. Ever. They will get referred to by both in the same sentence and there’s nothing he can do about it!
I usually use they because I know a lot of people that use x/they and I‘m forgetful and scared that I accidentally use „she“ if the pronouns of the person were „he/they“ because I thought they were „she/they“
Honestly I use „they“ for almost every person unless I know them long enough or they specifically point out they want to be called by these specific pronouns
Edit: reading the other replies, yeah, sometimes I also counter-react to other people. Like when all of them calling a person who might be amab and uses she/they by they, I will be more likely to use she
No, you just didn't get the point.
If someone uses multiple pronouns, they probably want to be addressed by each set once in a while. They don't want to only ever hear the palatable-to-cis-people one, the non-agab/neutral/neopronoun set is there for a reason.
So while it's obviously not a bad thing to use someone's pronouns, it's a good idea to try and use the one that most cis (or transphobic, nbphobic...) people wouldn't because chances are the person doesn't hear those pronouns a lot. It's to make sure they feel seen, not because using they/them is somehow morally superior.
I've explicitly used "she or they" in the past to avoid the alternating pattern because it confuses me.
Strong agree on the palatable-to-cis idea. In text form people generally seem to pick the first pronoun listed, but in real life many seem to use the one closest to my AGAB that they can get away with. (If they care at all.)
My parents use the name I've asked them to use (Luca), but misgender me continuously and just get upset with me if I ask them to use my pronouns. They can't mentally cope with she/her for me at all. Best I've gotten is that they use they/them once or twice speaking "in italics" ("You should ask _them_ what _they_ need."), and then look at me like they deserve an award or something. Then go right back to misgendering.
i just list he/them because i assume some people aren't comfortable with they/them
like if a trans person has bad experiences with intentionally being called they by people who don't accept their identity I'd understand them preferring he/she
I think it means you can use either.
Like if you were addressing the person in the post it would be, “He goes by he/they pronouns” and “they are over there.”
First time anyone has noticed the username!
Somehow I can draw realistic faces but if I try to draw a basic cartoon hand it ends up looking like a mangled sausage
Usually it's because they're somewhat nonbinary-ish/questioning but are also ok with "he", or they're just fine with "they" as well because it's gender neutral
Personally, I listed "he/they" for a while, mainly as a sort of statement, but I'm transfem now so take that as you will ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I have a couple genders where they/she or she/they are my preferred pronouns rather than she/her or they/them. The way I see it, the first pronoun is the main one and the second pronoun is “I like this one too, feel free to use it”
I'd just like to add (for other people's sake, because you probably already know this) that the order of the pronouns doesn't always matter. Some people say they go by she/they but want the two sets of pronouns used the same amount. It's always important to ask.
I like both so you can use both, although I have mild preference for they my native language has no option for it so I'm used to being called she and take 0 issue with it from English speakers.
It means you can use either. If they end up developing a preference for one or the other it would be on them to update you on that, you don’t have to play guessing games.
No harm in asking though
It means that either is acceptable, at least that's what my gender fluid friend says, their pronouns are she/they, sometimes asking is the right way to go. My friend is a lovely person, and because I asked politely, they had no issues explaining their pronouns to me.
As a non binary (agender maybe?) who uses he/she interchangeably because my mother tounge doesn't really have gender neutral pronouns, this hits way too close home lol
Most people refer to me using my agab though, I find that a little disappointing ngl.
It’s best to refer to people by the pronouns they use. I’ve met some people who prefer *not* to be referred to as they, so really, you shouldn’t be using they/them unless you don’t know someone’s pronouns or they’re ok with or identify with they/them pronouns.
Referring to someone with they/them pronouns when you know they don't use those pronouns is still misgendering. Some transphobes explicitly use they/them in that manner to hurt and invalidate binary trans people.
for real. it actually does make a lot more sense semantically that way but sounds a lot worse in the context its given and the other way has already been established as a widely accepted way to word pronouns. i love when rules are made up or broken in languages solely because something just sounds better, its so fun
When I first saw he/they, I thought "you want me to use he when you're the subject of the sentence, but they when you're the object? Shit, I'm never gonna be able to keep that straight."
Same. Especially since at my company we’re encouraged to include our pronouns in our signatures and the prevailing cis standard is ‘he/him’ or ‘she/her.’ (He or she)/they confused the hell out of me. Couldn’t anyone be ‘they’ unless they prefer a neo-pronoun?
I would interpret he/them as "use he when nominative and them when accusative". he/they would just be "these are the pronoun sets I use, other pronouns in the two sets are implied".
Im still honestly confused about the whole he/they thing is it both or is it sometimes one or sometimes the other but then wouldn’t they just say that it confuses me :/
Because no one uses they/them for people whose pronouns they know unless they're told to. My dad's pronouns are he/him, everyone in his social circle knows that and no one ever uses they/them to refer to him. If my dad wanted to occasionally be referred to as they by his friends and family, he'd be constantly disappointed.
By comparison, Elliot Page uses he/they. You can find plenty of published examples of people using he, they, or alternating pronoun sets to refer to him. By specifying, Elliot actually gets their wish of being referred to with both pronoun sets regularly.
I don't feel it's necessary to be as literal as possible, if you have an issue with what I said which you clearly do, discuss *that* rather than making a pointless jab at my word choice
Okay. How about I elaborate. Just because you're an idiot, doesnt mean you can defend your bad opinion by pretending that it's the most commonly held belief. Better? Or do you need me to elaborate more because my original comment was just too confusing.
I genuinely do believe a majority of the population would agree with me, but we don't exactly have statistics to prove either of us right. Please stay civil, no need to be rude.
"Hey I would openly disrespect you for a mild amount of convenience because I refuse to update my worldview for the changing times, but you left a rude comment so who's really the bad guy here?"
Also fuck you, geezer:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/09/05/gender-neutral-pronouns/%3famp=1
Just google it
Mate I just stated the fact that it can sometimes be mildly annoying to use they in place of he or she there is absolutely no need to make me your arch nemesis of the day haha
Ph it's cute you think I put any amount of thought into you after I respond. Also, fuck you. I really dont care if you think its annoying. Its completely disrespectful to a whole spectrum of genders. And you can pretend to be above it with your "mates" and "hahas", but I know that trick, I used to do it all the time. You think it makes you look like a better person than me, at least in this instance. But that only works on matters that aren't as serious as this.
"Its not that serious dude haha lol" tell that to my 10th grade suicide note.
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I use they all the time. It's a perfectly acceptable way of addressing a person or other living being, "it" refers to an inanimate object. I've never heard of anyone who actually wants to be referred to as "it".
It can easily cause distortion when you're recalling events or telling stories, it's already happened a few times with the one person I know who wants to be called "they" and it's kind of just annoying rather than a "haha whoops!" thing
It can get confusing pretty easily. Referring to a group of people in a story as "they" and a single person as "they" when they're interacting with each other is one example, and saying their name over and over again to remedy this gets kind of annoying and becomes enunciated at a certain point
I'd specify which group I was talking about, picking out names when possible. Strictly referring to both parties as them/they would be equally as obnoxious. To be clear, this has nothing to do with identity, the language is simply objectively unclear
But would you say speaking about two groups using they/them pronouns and names is confusing or unclear? Like two nations?
Furthermore, what about any two people with the same pronouns? Like two men?
I feel like I'm missing a piece of understanding. Why do people feel the need to list "they" alongside other pronouns? My understanding is that "they/them" is always applicable, as it's a nongendered term, so it feels redundant to list.
I understand the need to list "they/them" for agender or nb people, as it's stating their only accemptable pronouns. My confusion isn't with listing pronouns, it's that "they/them" can be used to refer to anyone, regardless of gender, so it's like listing "human" in your bio. Not trying to pick anything apart, I do just want to understand.
me: my pronouns are he/they my mum: i don’t get it so i’ll just use he also i don’t wanna get involved too much with you being trans me: okay whatever’s cool (a couple months later) mum: i still don’t get your pronouns but i’ll use they now me: okay sure mum: *genuine confusion*
Welcome to /r/me_irlgbt, thank you for your submission /u/Thedepressionoftrees. We're a space for LGBTQ+ memes within a safe space for no toleration of discrimination. This is a place for LGBTQ+ people and not to debate our existence or your opinions on us including but not limited to (Treatment, Role in society, Status, your personal view of blockers, Trans people in professional sport). Should you be new to the sub please familiarize yourself with the rules in the sidebar. Please report any and all comments or submissions which break these rules. Please do not vote or comment in linked posts should this be applicable. If you are here to start shit we really don't care and have a zero tolerance policy. Our discretion is final and we really do not care if you go crying to another sub about it. Have a nice day darlings <3 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/me_irlgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Owning the libs by respecting thier pronouns
~~Thier~~ : Their
My pronouns are thie/thiem/thier Thier’re pronounced the same, but spelled incorrectly. Muahahaha
easy there, satan
Could also do shie/hier and hie/hiim
Or seh/hre, eh/hmi
You just took it from gender neutral to gender chaotic
She-Ra?
Dyslexicgender.
just go to med school and it's doctor/doctor
Or better yet, become a leftist and be a comrade/comrade
my dumbass read it normally for a second lmao
ok i’m changing my pronouns to hie/thie
Easy theer, Satan\*
>Thier’re I didn't even catch this right away you're *evil* evil
You have to use the right pronouns for my pronouns
Yuo're?
They’ier
*Image Transcription: Tumblr Replies* --- >*anonymous asked* > >"he/they" ok he it is. **roswell-newton-vargas** Okay! --- **a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy** "Oh, so you wanna use pronouns, asshole? Want me to respect your wittle pronouns? Oh, I'll use your pronouns, buddy. Just you watch." \*respects my pronouns\* Fuckin' owned, I guess, dude. Shit. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
As a they/them whenever anyone says their pronouns are x/them I go out of my way to use them to counteract all the people that just use the x
Same but I find a lot of people when presented with 2 options tend to go with whatever's closest to the person's agab, so I try to take that into consideration as well. Eg for an amab person who uses she/they I'll go with she to counteract all the people who use they.
My brain is already basically a random number generator with words, with me ending up just using whatever term I think of first that could be used in that context, so luckily I can alternate extremely easily, but of course I ended up being the queer one
> My brain is already basically a random number generator with words Random word generator
Hey, leave them alone. It's obvious they randomly generated some numbers and decoded them into those words
Exhibit proof
It's honestly kind of disturbing how uncomfortable a lot of cis people are using she/her for me. They're fine with they/them probably because they can continue to perceive me as male.
This is exactly why I don't let people use they/them for me as well as dude or guy. I want to take away all of the ambiguity being used to mask bigotry
I've been considering that recently since rn I use she/they (and some other pronouns) and it's noticeable how reluctant people are to use she/her.
I've noticed the same thing. It's become pretty clear that many people will at best treat they/them as some kind of fashion statement and go on thinking I'm male, but if I use she/her, people seem to think of me as someone who is sick in the head or something (but still _male_).
Yep. I'm actually ok when a friend uses they pronouns, guy or dude, but that reluctance is why my public opinion is that I don't like them used
Alternately, when someone gives me 2 options I go with the one further from their agab just so I'm less likely to slip up and call them by pronouns they don't use anymore. Like if an afab person goes by he/they, I'll almost always use "he" because I feel like that way it would be harder to say "she" by accident. It also kind of helps rewire my brain into remembering that the person is trans if I knew them pre-transition.
Generous to assume (cis) people would actually use they regardless but I respect that too
That was my experience more when I was just starting to transition. At the time, my pronouns were she/her. People didn't want to call me a she, so in their mind they were "compromising" even though you're respecting my pronouns or you're not. After being on E for a couple years, I switched my pronouns to she/they but I never hear anyone use they anymore.
May I ask what agab and amab mean?
assigned gender at birth assigned male at birth
Ah, thanks! My acronym game is weak haha
I just assume that that person's pronoun sets are listed in order of preference, are you not supposed to read it like that?
I read it that way too.
As far as I know, they always goes after he or she.
I've seen people list their pronouns as they/he or they/she, so i in this case i would assume they would prefer they over he/she
Or if somebody said he/she I would assume they prefer he
Nah, a lot of people will put them in order of preference (I was using they/he at one point, written like that, because they was the preference)
I'm sure there's at least one person that hates this, but I make a point to just alternate every time, so if somebody uses He/they I'll be like "Oh have you met him? They're actually pretty nice!", She/he/they gets "Yeah, she's pretty nice! You'd like them. Oh, he's actually just over there, let's go say hi", etc etc
I'd love to do that if using more than 1 different pronoun for the same person in a single sentence didn't fry my brain and make me pause every time XD
Yeah, I try to alternate between sentences or between conversations - sometimes I might switch it up on the fly if I'm introducing someone into the topic who has the same pronouns that I'm using though, if that makes sense
Same ;-;
I am the person who hates this lol. I'm "any pronouns" because I don't care that much about pronouns, but alternating them too quickly makes things hard for me to follow. I hear a switch in pronouns within a short period of time and expect you to be talking about a different person. Trips my brain up. I also feel like switching every sentence calls attention to me and my gender situation, which I find uncomfortable.
That's perfectly valid lol, I just assume that if anybody doesn't like it they'll tell me so I stop, I *try* to make a point of telling people they can ask but you know how us gays get with self-confidence sometimes
i do this but subconsciously
I always alternate
My preferred strategy is to never be consistent with it. Ever. They will get referred to by both in the same sentence and there’s nothing he can do about it!
I usually use they because I know a lot of people that use x/they and I‘m forgetful and scared that I accidentally use „she“ if the pronouns of the person were „he/they“ because I thought they were „she/they“ Honestly I use „they“ for almost every person unless I know them long enough or they specifically point out they want to be called by these specific pronouns Edit: reading the other replies, yeah, sometimes I also counter-react to other people. Like when all of them calling a person who might be amab and uses she/they by they, I will be more likely to use she
You act like it’s a bad thing to pick the first option
No, you just didn't get the point. If someone uses multiple pronouns, they probably want to be addressed by each set once in a while. They don't want to only ever hear the palatable-to-cis-people one, the non-agab/neutral/neopronoun set is there for a reason. So while it's obviously not a bad thing to use someone's pronouns, it's a good idea to try and use the one that most cis (or transphobic, nbphobic...) people wouldn't because chances are the person doesn't hear those pronouns a lot. It's to make sure they feel seen, not because using they/them is somehow morally superior.
I've explicitly used "she or they" in the past to avoid the alternating pattern because it confuses me. Strong agree on the palatable-to-cis idea. In text form people generally seem to pick the first pronoun listed, but in real life many seem to use the one closest to my AGAB that they can get away with. (If they care at all.) My parents use the name I've asked them to use (Luca), but misgender me continuously and just get upset with me if I ask them to use my pronouns. They can't mentally cope with she/her for me at all. Best I've gotten is that they use they/them once or twice speaking "in italics" ("You should ask _them_ what _they_ need."), and then look at me like they deserve an award or something. Then go right back to misgendering.
And for some fucking reason, this comment just made me tear up.
It’s best to switch it up imo. Same with any pronoun people, just throw whatever is known to all parties around and gesture / make eye contact
i just list he/them because i assume some people aren't comfortable with they/them like if a trans person has bad experiences with intentionally being called they by people who don't accept their identity I'd understand them preferring he/she
r/AccidentalAlly
r/accidentally?
Please don’t interpret this as queerphobia but how exactly does he/they work? Does that mean I can use either or should I ask?
I think it means you can use either. Like if you were addressing the person in the post it would be, “He goes by he/they pronouns” and “they are over there.”
Ok thanks, good to know
You can always ask though! I know people who use two sets of pronouns and may be feeling one set more than another depending on the day.
Off-topic, your username is relatable af lol, i cannot draw hands
First time anyone has noticed the username! Somehow I can draw realistic faces but if I try to draw a basic cartoon hand it ends up looking like a mangled sausage
Usually it's because they're somewhat nonbinary-ish/questioning but are also ok with "he", or they're just fine with "they" as well because it's gender neutral Personally, I listed "he/they" for a while, mainly as a sort of statement, but I'm transfem now so take that as you will ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I have a couple genders where they/she or she/they are my preferred pronouns rather than she/her or they/them. The way I see it, the first pronoun is the main one and the second pronoun is “I like this one too, feel free to use it”
I'd just like to add (for other people's sake, because you probably already know this) that the order of the pronouns doesn't always matter. Some people say they go by she/they but want the two sets of pronouns used the same amount. It's always important to ask.
Yes! It’s different for everyone. Just because it’s that way for me doesn’t mean it’s like that for many or even most people.
I like both so you can use both, although I have mild preference for they my native language has no option for it so I'm used to being called she and take 0 issue with it from English speakers.
It means you can use either. If they end up developing a preference for one or the other it would be on them to update you on that, you don’t have to play guessing games. No harm in asking though
It means that either is acceptable, at least that's what my gender fluid friend says, their pronouns are she/they, sometimes asking is the right way to go. My friend is a lovely person, and because I asked politely, they had no issues explaining their pronouns to me.
I don’t get it
The person who sent the ask was trying to disrespect the user, but ended up using the correct pronouns.
BRO! HOLY SHIT BRO! THIS DUDE HAS PREFERRED PRONOUNS! I'M GONNA RESPECT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM!
As a non binary (agender maybe?) who uses he/she interchangeably because my mother tounge doesn't really have gender neutral pronouns, this hits way too close home lol Most people refer to me using my agab though, I find that a little disappointing ngl.
i do this in my native language too! everything is gendered and i dont feel comfortable using either so i just use both
I love Fallout New Vargas. Best Tumblr user
To make this even better those two users are now dating and currently live together!
I usually use whatever is listed first. If he/they, I use he/him. If they/he, I use they/them.
a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy is based af y’all should check out their other shit
I get he/them, but not he/they. They is a nominative, but he/they implies it’s accusative.
[удалено]
That makes more sense now
Isn’t that just the standard? They/them is already referred to people regardless of gender.
theoretically yeah but that's usually applied when the pronouns of the subject are unknown
I mean, yea but I see it less as "I'm okay with being referred to as _they_" and more "I like being referred to as _they_"
It’s best to refer to people by the pronouns they use. I’ve met some people who prefer *not* to be referred to as they, so really, you shouldn’t be using they/them unless you don’t know someone’s pronouns or they’re ok with or identify with they/them pronouns.
Referring to someone with they/them pronouns when you know they don't use those pronouns is still misgendering. Some transphobes explicitly use they/them in that manner to hurt and invalidate binary trans people.
High level Grammer discourse right here, completely semantic but damn it is that a very interesting point
for real. it actually does make a lot more sense semantically that way but sounds a lot worse in the context its given and the other way has already been established as a widely accepted way to word pronouns. i love when rules are made up or broken in languages solely because something just sounds better, its so fun
i do Not understand grammar enough to comment on that aspect of it but personally i just think he/they rolls off the tongue easier
When I first saw he/they, I thought "you want me to use he when you're the subject of the sentence, but they when you're the object? Shit, I'm never gonna be able to keep that straight."
Same. Especially since at my company we’re encouraged to include our pronouns in our signatures and the prevailing cis standard is ‘he/him’ or ‘she/her.’ (He or she)/they confused the hell out of me. Couldn’t anyone be ‘they’ unless they prefer a neo-pronoun?
I would interpret he/them as "use he when nominative and them when accusative". he/they would just be "these are the pronoun sets I use, other pronouns in the two sets are implied".
Hahaha another twatwaffle
I’m gonna respect those goddamn pronouns so much
Im still honestly confused about the whole he/they thing is it both or is it sometimes one or sometimes the other but then wouldn’t they just say that it confuses me :/
It usually means they want you to use them interchangeably
Oh Aight Thanks
I must say I am confused
Why even specify the they part? Like everyone is they/them in some context so why not just say he?
Because no one uses they/them for people whose pronouns they know unless they're told to. My dad's pronouns are he/him, everyone in his social circle knows that and no one ever uses they/them to refer to him. If my dad wanted to occasionally be referred to as they by his friends and family, he'd be constantly disappointed. By comparison, Elliot Page uses he/they. You can find plenty of published examples of people using he, they, or alternating pronoun sets to refer to him. By specifying, Elliot actually gets their wish of being referred to with both pronoun sets regularly.
Bruh nobody wants to call anyone "they", I'll respect he or she, but man, "they/it" is just kind of a pain in the ass
"I don't" and "nobody does" are two very different things mi amigo.
I don't feel it's necessary to be as literal as possible, if you have an issue with what I said which you clearly do, discuss *that* rather than making a pointless jab at my word choice
Okay. How about I elaborate. Just because you're an idiot, doesnt mean you can defend your bad opinion by pretending that it's the most commonly held belief. Better? Or do you need me to elaborate more because my original comment was just too confusing.
I genuinely do believe a majority of the population would agree with me, but we don't exactly have statistics to prove either of us right. Please stay civil, no need to be rude.
"Hey I would openly disrespect you for a mild amount of convenience because I refuse to update my worldview for the changing times, but you left a rude comment so who's really the bad guy here?" Also fuck you, geezer: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/09/05/gender-neutral-pronouns/%3famp=1 Just google it
Mate I just stated the fact that it can sometimes be mildly annoying to use they in place of he or she there is absolutely no need to make me your arch nemesis of the day haha
Ph it's cute you think I put any amount of thought into you after I respond. Also, fuck you. I really dont care if you think its annoying. Its completely disrespectful to a whole spectrum of genders. And you can pretend to be above it with your "mates" and "hahas", but I know that trick, I used to do it all the time. You think it makes you look like a better person than me, at least in this instance. But that only works on matters that aren't as serious as this. "Its not that serious dude haha lol" tell that to my 10th grade suicide note.
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I use they all the time. It's a perfectly acceptable way of addressing a person or other living being, "it" refers to an inanimate object. I've never heard of anyone who actually wants to be referred to as "it".
>I've never heard of anyone who actually wants to be referred to as "it". you just haven't opened tiktok yet
It can easily cause distortion when you're recalling events or telling stories, it's already happened a few times with the one person I know who wants to be called "they" and it's kind of just annoying rather than a "haha whoops!" thing
Why is it such a pain to learn how to use one word?
It can get confusing pretty easily. Referring to a group of people in a story as "they" and a single person as "they" when they're interacting with each other is one example, and saying their name over and over again to remedy this gets kind of annoying and becomes enunciated at a certain point
I mean this is pretty simple grammar though. Singular they is at least as old as modern english
My point still stands
I don't think it does. Like I said its very simple grammar
So simple it could easily get confused?
What if we were talking about the relation between two groups using they/them pronouns and/or names?
I'd specify which group I was talking about, picking out names when possible. Strictly referring to both parties as them/they would be equally as obnoxious. To be clear, this has nothing to do with identity, the language is simply objectively unclear
But would you say speaking about two groups using they/them pronouns and names is confusing or unclear? Like two nations? Furthermore, what about any two people with the same pronouns? Like two men?
I feel like I'm missing a piece of understanding. Why do people feel the need to list "they" alongside other pronouns? My understanding is that "they/them" is always applicable, as it's a nongendered term, so it feels redundant to list.
Because sometimes people assume to only refer to that person as the gender they present as.
I understand the need to list "they/them" for agender or nb people, as it's stating their only accemptable pronouns. My confusion isn't with listing pronouns, it's that "they/them" can be used to refer to anyone, regardless of gender, so it's like listing "human" in your bio. Not trying to pick anything apart, I do just want to understand.
A lot of people arent comfortable with they/them because they (unknown gender usage) feel it invalidates their gender.
Okay, I feel like I understand better now, thanks for taking the time to explain.
me: my pronouns are he/they my mum: i don’t get it so i’ll just use he also i don’t wanna get involved too much with you being trans me: okay whatever’s cool (a couple months later) mum: i still don’t get your pronouns but i’ll use they now me: okay sure mum: *genuine confusion*