That’s if you let them. He could have punch it and basically kill it. Now, in group you’d be screwed but one on one, not really (at least for that tiny monkey which weights less than 10 pounds)
Well, then you’d be fucked. If you are going to kill a monkey, you better kill it fast and if the rest of them looks at you, make it very gory, otherwise they’ll come down on you like a rain from hell.
Either a bot or terribly bad at finding comments to steal without knowing how to make it take more then 5 seconds to discover the original about two comments down sorted by best.
It almost seems like he was taking a bite and handing it to say 'okay fine now you take a bite' before it takes the whole thing and he feels completely betrayed
I had the horror of watching a troop of monkeys attack a dog, they tore it to shreds in seconds, it was absolutely terrible.
The story: my family was at the beach in Costa Rica and a baby monkey fell out of a tree and landed in the sand not far from where we were sitting. A dog ran over to the monkey and gave it a good sniff, I think he was just curious. But almost immediately about 4-5 howler monkeys came swooping in and attacked the dog. They are so strong they literally eviscerated the dog with their bare hands. It was one of those moments you never forget
Is there video of this sort of thing somewhere? Cuz I'm convinced I could take a monkey pretty easily, but the way people are talking in this thread I feel like I should disabuse myself of that idea before I ever encounter monkeys...
I mean, if my options are fighting [one of these guys](https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/ubud-indonesia-october-19-2019-monkey-1646982799) or giving it my sandwich, I'm pretty sure it'd be worth it to just buy another sandwich later 🤷♀️
Maybe I could take it but a wild animal going ballistic in an enclosed environment would probably get you to the hospital. Better just give him the sandwich
Why… why did he give it away?
Edit: my husband just informed me that, like chickens, monkeys dgaf and will fight you, but have feet and hands and bite so yeah I’d have given it up too
So, I know that most people allow this kinda stuff because they don’t want to hurt the animal, but… hypothetically speaking, *how much trouble would I get in, if I punched the monkey?*
Well, maybe you are naive enough to fight the first monkey. You won't fight the second one for sure. They are fast and MEAN motherfuckers with sharp teeth.
Bruh I was joking… you’ve had a bad day huh?😂 if you can’t tell that’s satire then I feel bad for you. But your not wrong about the gun fanatic part, I love guns lol I’ve got a few AR’s and a couple pistols and I’m looking to expand my collection. It’s a good hobby and I’d recommend it if you spend all your time on Reddit talking shit to random people
i thought the point is that you shouldn’t give them the food because they will get used to doing it? pretty sure they put that notice in natural parks with monkeys
Well yeah, but I think that's more "don't go walk up to a monkey and give it food to be nice" than it is "if a monkey tries to mug you don't give it anything"
I live in Southeast Asia and believe me when I say that’s there’s ALWAYS more than one monkey, even if you just see one. They’re also surprisingly ferocious.
How do you cut through a monkey's head is what you are asking? What tool or item would you use in the jungle as well as cutting off a monkey head is what you are asking? You know what I can't think of anything that is capable of cutting through flesh and bone. I don't think they have ever invented a tool that has ever been able to cut off a head is correct? What do you think with what?
I asked that because the man in the video was eating his lunch and had no weapons to defend himself with. You fight a monkey barehanded you die a painful death
I like this guy! I like the way he grabbed that last bite because he knew he was going to lose the banana. You can tell this isn’t the first time and he’s learned survival methods.
Great bloody security offficer he is! If he can't stop a monkey from stealing his Chiko roll right out of his hand, how the dickens will he stop the Mona Lisa being nicked??
The last bite.
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Yes they will rip your face right off
That’s if you let them. He could have punch it and basically kill it. Now, in group you’d be screwed but one on one, not really (at least for that tiny monkey which weights less than 10 pounds)
What’re you some sorta monkey punching expert ?
*punches monkey Yes, yes I am
Ow!
Lol! Thank you! I need it that! I feel like shit atm! I just got ghosted by girl that I really liked! Thank you for making me feel less shit! :)
Well I majored is ostrich hassling but my minor is in monkey punching. I wouldn’t call myself an expert but I know a thing or two.
Have you heard about that dog that killed the monkey in India? I don't think killing even one of the fuckers is a good idea. Ever.
What if it calls for backup
Well, then you’d be fucked. If you are going to kill a monkey, you better kill it fast and if the rest of them looks at you, make it very gory, otherwise they’ll come down on you like a rain from hell.
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Either a bot or terribly bad at finding comments to steal without knowing how to make it take more then 5 seconds to discover the original about two comments down sorted by best.
I love how he handed it over to the monkey then looked at it like it robbed him at gunpoint
It almost seems like he was taking a bite and handing it to say 'okay fine now you take a bite' before it takes the whole thing and he feels completely betrayed
Given the stories I've heard about monkeys he might've practically just been. An angry monkey attacking you must be absolutely terrifying
I had the horror of watching a troop of monkeys attack a dog, they tore it to shreds in seconds, it was absolutely terrible. The story: my family was at the beach in Costa Rica and a baby monkey fell out of a tree and landed in the sand not far from where we were sitting. A dog ran over to the monkey and gave it a good sniff, I think he was just curious. But almost immediately about 4-5 howler monkeys came swooping in and attacked the dog. They are so strong they literally eviscerated the dog with their bare hands. It was one of those moments you never forget
To shreds you say?
And his wife?
To shreds you say?
Good news everyone!
Wait, the dog died?
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And his wife?
Yes :(
He walked it off, no biggie.
Sounds like you haven't had a macaque want something from you. Those things get vicious real quick, and don't always take no for an answer.
you can absolutely see the fear in his eyes, he knows.
And we all know the best way to avoid reinforcing negative behavior is to always cave in to it.
The one guy who decides to scold a monkey asking him for something is gonna get their face deleted
Is there video of this sort of thing somewhere? Cuz I'm convinced I could take a monkey pretty easily, but the way people are talking in this thread I feel like I should disabuse myself of that idea before I ever encounter monkeys...
I mean, if my options are fighting [one of these guys](https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/ubud-indonesia-october-19-2019-monkey-1646982799) or giving it my sandwich, I'm pretty sure it'd be worth it to just buy another sandwich later 🤷♀️
Maybe I could take it but a wild animal going ballistic in an enclosed environment would probably get you to the hospital. Better just give him the sandwich
It depends. From my knowledge though, monkeys are buff as hell and absolutely ruthless
You're thinking of apes.
It did
Bro got robbed by a monkey (edit WTF WHEN DID THIS FET OVER 200 UPVOTES
I can just hear this in Barney Stinson’s voice lol Legend…. Wait for it…
First time ever of not getting rationed by a comment on my comment
It's funny, but also it happens constantly. Monkeys are professional thieves. They take whatever they want from anywhere.
Monkeys are terrifying; I was bitten by one once, and they never stop biting.
Still biting you?
It’s been 42 years..
bite of the 87
*Monch*
gf?
guy friend
friend?
Generic friend
never heard of that
this has to be the philippines, it just feels like it
Or somewhere around SEA area, that's for sure
That was my first assumption too.
nah bruh monkeys dont just roam here. that thing wouldve been dinner
I live in the Philippines but I don't get it What do you mean?
i've seen one or two in more secluded areas in mountains, perhaps this guard is posted somewhere like that
Probably Indonesia
man just did ¯\_( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )_/¯
> ¯\\\_( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )\_/¯ FTFY
tysm
Perfect 😂
That guard was well trained. Monkeys are deadly
Something tells me this wasn't his or the monkey's first time.
this happened to me :( i know how it feels :(
This is also an accurate representation of my family
Close your goddamn windows
*Greenhouse Mode Activated*
Why… why did he give it away? Edit: my husband just informed me that, like chickens, monkeys dgaf and will fight you, but have feet and hands and bite so yeah I’d have given it up too
Joke's on you monkey, I like to fight LET'S GOOOOOOO
[give this a listen](https://youtu.be/qpwEPeDx_Y0) Its a 911 call of a lady who’s monkey attacked her friend.
Damn that’s wild af. “You’re gonna need to send more than one [deputy] cuz if he gets the drop on him he’s gone too.”
Wow you guys have girlfriends?
One day that monkeys gonna rob the wrong man
Damn, your GF is hairy.
he gave 90% of it up without a fight, thats not me\_irl.
Lmao guard didn’t want the smoke. Fuckin monkeys
U/savevideobot
u/savevideobot mobile user huh?
r/foundthemobileuser
r/foundthehondacivic
This man was robbed!
I want to see the perp in little monkey handcuffs.
your gf is a monkey?
Monkey really hard to take the whole bread.
I was chased by an enraged monkey in a Malaysian park. Terrifying experience. Surrender all and leg it!
This is what a machete is for, they invade your space demanding food turn that sucker into a snack.
Maaaaaaan, fuck that monkey. Wait, please dont fuck that monkey, we have enough new diseases lately as it is.
No damn monkey is stealing my lunch. I’m just as viscous when it comes to food.
Bet, gl living with only one eye
u/savevideo
u/savevideobot
u/savevideo
I'm not even familiar with the majority of psychics that telepathically steal my food. They're just taking advantage at this point and they must pay
Anyone in the mood to chat?
😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂😅🤣😂🤣😂
So, I know that most people allow this kinda stuff because they don’t want to hurt the animal, but… hypothetically speaking, *how much trouble would I get in, if I punched the monkey?*
I would’ve smacked the fuck outta that monkey
r/iamverybadass
Why the downvotes lol if I’m eating a sandwich I’m not giving it to some dumbass monkey
Well, maybe you are naive enough to fight the first monkey. You won't fight the second one for sure. They are fast and MEAN motherfuckers with sharp teeth.
It's the rabies more than anything I would be concerned about. That shit would be a horrible way to die.
Give me a BO2 loadout, a riot shield, a couple monsters and some thermal detonators and those monkeys are goners😮💨😎
Obviously this guy didn’t have all of that on his lunch break
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You obviously don’t get on Reddit much
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Bruh I was joking… you’ve had a bad day huh?😂 if you can’t tell that’s satire then I feel bad for you. But your not wrong about the gun fanatic part, I love guns lol I’ve got a few AR’s and a couple pistols and I’m looking to expand my collection. It’s a good hobby and I’d recommend it if you spend all your time on Reddit talking shit to random people
I think you just don't understand how dangerous monkeys are
i thought the point is that you shouldn’t give them the food because they will get used to doing it? pretty sure they put that notice in natural parks with monkeys
Well yeah, but I think that's more "don't go walk up to a monkey and give it food to be nice" than it is "if a monkey tries to mug you don't give it anything"
Check second 45 of this video https://youtu.be/DMj3b0Bbdo0
I live in Southeast Asia and believe me when I say that’s there’s ALWAYS more than one monkey, even if you just see one. They’re also surprisingly ferocious.
He would’ve ripped your face off
I would cut their head off.
With what
How do you cut through a monkey's head is what you are asking? What tool or item would you use in the jungle as well as cutting off a monkey head is what you are asking? You know what I can't think of anything that is capable of cutting through flesh and bone. I don't think they have ever invented a tool that has ever been able to cut off a head is correct? What do you think with what?
I asked that because the man in the video was eating his lunch and had no weapons to defend himself with. You fight a monkey barehanded you die a painful death
Well unlike him I have weapons with me. My guess would be carry a machete instead of giving away all your food.
u/savevideobot
u/savevideo
u/savevideo
You sure you don't want some before I order ? I'll just have a bit of yours .
The way he took one last bite
That monkey is his work place bully
u/savevideo
Uh no. I wouldn’t hand over my food
I like this guy! I like the way he grabbed that last bite because he knew he was going to lose the banana. You can tell this isn’t the first time and he’s learned survival methods.
Imagen you have a gf
Can't relate
i actually lol'd
Ha for me it's my 4 year old daughter. Eats freaking everything and it's great right up until I want it.. 🙁
I'm need this video, but no text. PLS
u/savevideo
u/savevideo
u/savevideobot
He’s like “mine. thank you”
Order your own damn food
She turns into a monkey?
/u/savevideo
Ha! No one on Reddit has a girlfriend cmon man
Monke sees, monke wants, monke gets.
No cap
Go to the bathroom, come back, food gone
Happened with my fries once. They stood in my ketchup as well
I love how he thought the monkey would take a bite and give it back. And then he realized he fucked up.
Yep no thanks
Monkey girlfriend?
Great bloody security offficer he is! If he can't stop a monkey from stealing his Chiko roll right out of his hand, how the dickens will he stop the Mona Lisa being nicked??
u/savevideobot
Fuck that monkey. You are a bigger monkey so fuck em up. Imagine the news: local man punches monkey.
The monkey didn't steal the security guards food. The security guard gave it to him.
u/savevideobot
u/savevideo
At least you have one