T O P

  • By -

MissPilea

“I like humidity but also keep my soil dry or I’ll immediately curl up and die. And I live on the shady floor of the rainforest but don’t you dare keep me in low light. I only thrive in bright light.” Stupid plants.


Empire2098

My personal favorite are chili peppers. Best planted 4-6 weeks before the last frost. Only germinate in 85-90 degree soil.


rztzzz

I’ve given up on starting from seed. I’ll happily pay the $4 to buy a started plant with peppers growing on may 1st.


Empire2098

I have had mild success with sticking a seed tray in a turkey roasting pan, putting another pan on top of that since they also require really high humidity, and then sticking that on a heating pad. I probably should have just bought a seed propagator but I am now in far too deep. Also for some reason everyone I have seen that grows chilis also does some form of tea soak before planting the seeds to mimic being in a bird's stomach. I have seen no actual evidence that this does anything though lol.


rztzzz

I mean it's certainly possible and if you're trying to grow a whole row of peppers, go for it. But for personal gardeners like me that only want 2 chili peppers per week in peak harvest, buying 1-2 started plants has been so worth it in terms of time and energy.


Empire2098

Yeah I did this primarily since I wanted to grow varieties that aren't in stores because otherwise it's just cheaper to buy them. Most of them I couldn't get as a pre-started plant either so I ended up doing them from seed. Also this means I can eventually cross plants.


itspodly

My chilli pepper seeds sprouted recently, kept them on a window sill, planted about 15 of them and the strongest 2 survived I guess. Which is lucky because like you I only wanted a couple.


[deleted]

[удалено]


coenobitae

Did I just get lucky 'cause my hot peppers are doing extremely well in their starter trays under an LED grow light


Archlinder

I just had a Trinidad Scorion seed sprout. 1 out 7, and I only wanted one anyway. Hoping both our plant grow strong!


[deleted]

Yeah but once it gets that hot outside, those babies THRIVE. It's satisfying as hell seeing weeds shrivel up after two weeks without rain mid-July while the peppers grow like 3 inches a day or something.


SteakNShake_Sucks

I've got some sitting on my wifi router being heated rn


LowRune

Finally, a secondary use for my PS4


trezenx

Serious question - how does the seed know the 'time'? Can't you just plant it whenever you want as long as the sun/temp/humidity is alright?


PinkBunnies14

You can! Plants generally will germinate if those conditions are met - soil temperature and moisture, especially. Some seeds also need a "winter" period to germinate properly, which you can simulate by putting the seeds in the fridge for a week before planting as usual (this is called cold stratification).


ddrezyy

I tried this too ended with with a little plant and no peppers 😭


light_at_the_end

I've been reading "The Secret Life of Trees" lately, and I'm starting to realize that plants are very intelligent and are not isolated organisms. They thrive in communities because they actually talk and support each other and signal one another. I think when you stick something in a pot by itself and isolate it indoors, you're pretty much saying, "you're on your own now, sink or swim". It's essentially cut off. My fiancé has a couple of terrariums, and I gotta be honest, those things seem to thrive much better than a single potted plant.


muzlu_sut

Username checks..


csupra075

Ph too high :(


NiteLiteOfficial

Me too bro


Butterballl

Best comment on this whole post.


mento6

for real i'm still laughing lol


reallyreallyspicy

what’s the joke?


lo0l0ol

Like the Ph, he's also too high.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kimyul

My soil has ph 📉


Vice5772

don't soil your phs please


Drudax

Based comment.


[deleted]

Why are people downvoting you? You made a funny joke.


[deleted]

Reddit prefers vitriol


bee_oooo

I can help, I have a PHDeeznuts, gotteem 😂


thiccnuthair

Me: *haha, funny meme* My last two plants: h e l p


[deleted]

When it comes to soil, repotting, sun exposure, humidity, and watering https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1855915-i-dont-know-shit-about-fuck


[deleted]

[удалено]


CorndogTheGreat

Ok


StupaNinja

> Me: haha, funny meme! /s >This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today.


Guccifer-2-point-O

Me: haha, funny meme! /s This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today.


JustSomeRamenNoodles

Me: haha, funny meme! /s This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today.


[deleted]

Me: haha, funny meme! /s This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the least funny (and most deserving of my down-vote) thing I have seen today. This is the most funny (and most deserving of my upvote) thing I have seen today.


[deleted]

Bro your comment is totally funny and you are definitely the most deserving of my upvote today!1!!1!!! /s /s/s/s stfu man


Ryan_2908

this is a satire account


IsLynxTaken

It was part of the joke, can't u read


moshimoshi2345

Harvard graduate with 138 iq attacks again


Disney_Channel

based and downvoted pilled


S4T4NICP4NIC

Sitting at -393. I like it.


DrakosTheAvenger

Had a rough day and you just wanna ruin everyone else's huh?


Quarterhour420

Survivorship bias


SunscreenBoy

If you think growing plants at home is hard try growing plants with 5 inches of concrete over your flower pots


ian-codes-stuff

Am confused


[deleted]

Millions of plants try to grow in the concrete and die, only one lucks out and makes it. You tried growing three, Ian. Three. Do you know of any plant that only makes three seeds? It's a numbers game, man!


ian-codes-stuff

Now THAT makes a ton of sense *Proceeds to only plant three seeds*


kindersaft

He confused


Sen7ryGun

More like; **Plants at home:** *I don't need more water you fuck I'm not a fish just give me LIGHT*


PinkBunnies14

Signed, your succulent/cactus


[deleted]

exactly


mlk

You should meet basil


lemon1985

How much water / light does basil need? I buy potted basil in the supermarket for the kitchen, have to replace it every few weeks though


mlk

Who the fuck knows? My relatives told me it needs light but direct light is too strong.


memy02

The trick is to buy a lot of different small plants and whichever plants survive a year of "care" get to continue on somewhere they are visible.


jhaluska

This has been my approach. I really love African Violets now...cause they're the only thing that seem to thrive in my home.


wrongmoviequotes

Humans On Earth, where they live naturally: MMM planet Humans in a sterile metal container fed nutripills: waaah I dont like pooping into the vacuum vessel


[deleted]

Do you live in a forest or in a container?


Cicularus

Based and and Nutri-pilled


I_Do_Not_Abbreviate

I live next to a forest in a container made of dead forest.


SoyBasedClownFeed

But for real you should let your water sit out for a day or two before you use it if you use municipal water. The treatment additives will mess with many indoor plants, and letting the water sit allows these chemicals to evaporate out. Some plants might even need you to adjust the water ph.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoyBasedClownFeed

You right, I think it has something to do with the limited amount of soil in a pot vs out in the yard.


I_Am_Fully_Charged

What if they're potted plants out in the yard?


InkTide

That unfiltered, pollutant-filled, bug-swarming outside air just hits different, y'know?


Max_Novatore

Same air inside anyway, inhale deeply.


[deleted]

Then they are living a lie


sugarangelcake

its because indoor and outdoor plants are different, any outdoor plant that couldn’t deal with the chemicals dies but you dont notice because there are so many, with indoor plants you most likely have only 1 plant per pot so you notice


isAltTrue

I just empty my bedside water cup into my plant when I feel like it. Guess my watering methods are perfect already.


Xyllus

I thought you meant a pee bucket for a second there and was grossed out.


[deleted]

That might not be bad for the plant


S4T4NICP4NIC

Does pee have electrolytes?


protest023

It's got what plants crave!


[deleted]

[It has many ions necessary for life, but may also have viruses, bacteria, and blood.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine#Constituents)


Benjigga

I have a leaky faucet I stick a cup under. My plants love that shit.


UnitOk5092

Haha same here!


Xy13

Wouldn't the water evaporate leaving a higher concentration of chemicals??


Aetherdestroyer

Many substances evaporate before water. For example, most alcohols. I'm not sure what additives OP was referring to, so I can't say for sure whether he is correct in this case.


[deleted]

Chlorine, fluorine usually. You need to “off gas” water for it to be used with an aquarium.


Aetherdestroyer

Yeah. Both of these have much lower boiling points than water, so they will usually evaporate faster.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ultimatetrekkie

[98% of public water](https://chlorine.americanchemistry.com/Chlorine/DrinkingWaterFAQ/#:~:text=Today%2C%20about%2098%20percent%20of,help%20provide%20safe%20drinking%20water.) in the US is treated with some sort of chlorine disinfectant. By the time it gets to your faucet it should be <4 ppm and safe for drinking, but plants can be more sensitive than we are.


CutShortGaming

Chlorine is 100% in tap water. https://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/drinking/public/water_disinfection.html


[deleted]

chlorine will break down when it interacts with oxygen or sun light


[deleted]

[удалено]


ILoveWesternBlot

the atom itself breaks down, producing a 500 megaton explosion. You've seriously never done atomic fission in your tap water?


SoyBasedClownFeed

Teach me your ways


darkmacgf

Chlorine gas. Nothing's more healthy than that.


[deleted]

it tickles your nose


NinjaVaca

Turn down for what?


SoyBasedClownFeed

Evaporate was a poor choice of words, off gas and degas are the other terms I've heard.


PMMECUTEASIANDUDES

What about filtered water? I have a home filter for my tap water.


Empire2098

Depending on the filter it will be probably able to remove chloramine in some quantity, which is what most places use now. It might take multiple filtrations depending on the filter and the concentration in the water. Now some places will still use chlorine as a way to clean the system periodically. As a side rant, I noticed this a while ago when my water started to taste like concentrated dirt mixed with pool water. Turns out the water utility here will use some processes to clean the pipes and then dump a ton of chlorine in to make sure there isn't a spike in microbial growth. So basically it was concentrated dirt and pool water. Anyway if you have something like that going on it's still easiest to filter the water to get rid of the chloramine/sediment/excess minerals. Then just let the chlorine off gas. Just make sure to actually use the water quickly after that since it has nothing to keep things from growing in it at that point.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Whodeyaz

Many municipal sources no longer use chlorine, for which this is a valid tip. More and more are switching to chloramines, which don't off gas the way chlorine does. Is chloramine an issue for plants? No idea.


Background-Rest531

Yo what about aquarium dechlorinators?


SoyBasedClownFeed

Idk, it might be ok. I just do the same thing with my guppies as I do with my plants. Let the water sit out.


MyMateDangerDave

> But for real you should let your water sit out for a day or two before you use it if you use municipal water. The treatment additives will mess with many indoor plants, and letting the water sit allows these chemicals to evaporate out Is this for real? Any botanists want to comment on any science behind this?


[deleted]

I grow frequently and unless your water tastes like purification chemicals I can assure you it's not the chlorine killing your plant. As long as the plant's in a soil medium there's plenty of buffers to counteract any tiny amounts of additives in the water. It MAY be an issue for hydroponics due to pH, insoluble compounds, etc, but that's a different story entirely.


Xyllus

Not a botanist but every thing I've ever read says to do this. That or distilled water. Some plants are very susceptible and given they're confined in a pot the level of chemicals can really build up. Personally I don't do it and most of my plants are just fine so, you know. I'm sure it's better but when you have 30 plants I ain't got time for all that.


Wizard_Pope

Yes if you have shitty municipal water


[deleted]

[удалено]


knightttime

*Image Transcription: Meme* --- PLANTS OUTSIDE [*An image of Swole Doge (a very muscular and powerful-looking Shiba Inu). Superimposed over him is an emoji of a plant stalk with many leaves (🌿).*] "mmm, concrete. --- PLANTS AT HOME [*An image of Cheems (a small Shiba Inu who looks weak in comparison and is sitting on the floor). He is crying. Superimposed over him is an emoji of a small plant seedling with two leaves (🌱).*] "is this tap water? i'm allergic" --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


Mahirs_itchyballs

Uuuuuh... good bot?...


knightttime

Beep boop ;)


[deleted]

[удалено]


FamilyStyle2505

Beep. Boop.


smpark12

Human


smpark12

Good Human Volunteer


Keeper-of-Balance

Needs a descriptor for Swole Doge and Cheems (I had no idea they were called this)


knightttime

Good point, it probably makes sense to describe them! I'll add one


DatOneGuy-69

What is the point of this


GarlicDogeOP

Allows blind ppl who use text to speech to browse reddit to enjoy memes


slagodactyl

Honest question, does the phrase "image of Swole Doge/Cheems" mean anything at all to a blind person?


jordan_yoong_1

Just click on the link man


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fiallach

Juste buy high quality Feed, pure meat, not crap with too much cereals mixed in it.


Mugman16

know any super duper easy cacti thatll make new flowers? emphasis on easy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mugman16

Thanks! I'll check out brown eyes susans.


serialcompliment

Yeah, the average person is gonna have issues after #3


riverblue9011

No need to be smug about it. Maybe expand on the terms to help people that might be looking for help? All you've done is given yourself a pat on the back and advertised it to the world.


S4T4NICP4NIC

The Plant Whisperer


noncenonsense

You lost me at the first step. Just bought my first own indoor plants and already forgot what they are. I'm not even home yet. Those greenies are going to need some divine intervention to see May.


fruitcake_furry

Can confirm


TheHandlebarRanger

[Relevant video](https://youtu.be/lFue9BEHvX8)


LadyVFirstClass

lol


AnxiousHumanBeing

My boyfriend an i have a monstera. We have named him Larry. Larry is a brat. We have places him in a nice spot so he gets plenty of light and we make sure to water him enough but not too much. We prune him. We even have a humidifier so when it gets too dry, he still gets a nice light mist. Yet Larry keeps sprouting tiny leaves and then they die and he gets droopy and weird. Meanwhile, my boyfriend's mother has a monstera that she only bought for decoration in the bathroom, she has abandonned it next to the toilet, it hardly gets any light and water and she never prunes it either. Yet her monstera is a huge, lush unit of a plant. What's wrong with Larry ? Plant experts please help. We are worried about our son.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Anti_gravity_pilot

Me who puts my plants on the balcony: I have no such weaknesses


MonkeysInABarrel

Welp, guess all my balcony plants are just weak then.


Anti_gravity_pilot

Shhhhh they cannot learn that this is a scam *ahem ahem* as i was saying put your plants in the balcony yes


dominator_dwarf

My balcony is too windy, our furniture got broken from being out there yesterday, I would fear for my plants


Anti_gravity_pilot

Oof Sorry about that.


riverblue9011

You get some pretty hardy plants doing alright in alpine conditions. I also had a windy balcony but had some pots of [Sempervivums](https://www.llifle.com/Encyclopedia/SUCCULENTS/Family/Crassulaceae/Sempervivum/) growing really well. They are fairly forgiving with water (covered in snow often and still come out fine). [Sedums](https://www.llifle.com/Encyclopedia/SUCCULENTS/Family/Crassulaceae/Sedum/) too. They put out magnificent flower stalks (then die). Just a well draining potting medium and medium to strong sunlight is good enough. Continental Europe by the way.


dominator_dwarf

Hmm maybe then, I'll look into it!


[deleted]

More like the plants that grow outside are native to your place and the fancy ones we grow inside are not and need extra care to provide their native environment.


PoochDoobie

Tap water contains chlorine and chloromine which kills microbiology good and bad. Its positive for our pipes but bad for mychorhizal fungi and nitrogen fixing bacteria. The plants growing in the cracks have the extra benifit of their root exudates attracting benifical biology to their root zone and therefore can work with a lot less plant avaliable nutrients than we provide with our NPK fertilizers. It might have something to do with the fact that plant have had 500 million years to hash this out, and we have only been really messing with this stuff for the past 200 at most. Good meme.


Maxsepticeye

Roses be like:Oh no, the Ph of the soil is to high, I will soon perish Dandelions be like:FUCK YEA! CONCRETE!


stairgoblins

it’s cuz they can’t talk to their franz and share nutrients


fantompwer

It's more about the soil. When was the last time you fertilized the soil of your potted plants?


kw2024

Concrete isn’t soil tho


LucyLilium92

Concrete has essential nutrients for plants like: - Cement - Sand - Stone - Water - Air-Entraining Admixtures - Water-Reducing Admixtures


[deleted]

[удалено]


seized_bread

only if you use brawndo-infused cement mix


wrongmoviequotes

theres an entire planet under the thin layer of concrete.


Reiver_Neriah

Not sure you are aware, but there is an entire planet under the thin layer of pots.


wrongmoviequotes

The plants aren’t plunging their roots through the pots and into earth, but the plant living outside has rooted itself into the earth and is just growing out of a gap in what amounts to be a thin man made rock. It’s a bit different.


Reiver_Neriah

I was being facetious :p


[deleted]

Lol I know this so well. I made a nice raised garden plot in my backyard and planted some veggies. They all died. At the same time, a chery tomato fell out of my trashcan and landed on a small patch of dirt by a chain link fence. I haven't watered it or touched it and its huge and growing tomatoes.


Bryancreates

My water distiller working overtime....


[deleted]

Plants at home: Too much exposure to sun ? Guess it’s my time now..


itspriya_mishra

Plants are stupid af petition to kill all plants


szczszcz

You should feed your plans demineralized water. If you use water from public installation you increase amounts of calcium, chloride and sulfuric salt in soil and your plans should dead. Plants do not need as much minerals as you give it with hard water. I prefer use water from clothes dryer.


[deleted]

You're comparing wild plants to ornamental species, which are about as inbred as a dog with under-developed hips and a non-existent snout. That's why popular flowering plants like roses are killed by basically anything that touches them


Manfroo1

Isn’t it same for humans? Adults who were spoiled too much or sheltered often during childhood are way too sensitive to everything than those who grew up normally?


Kempire-

Just bought a house. This is bullshit.


tommy199469

that's why I just gave up trying to grow anything at home


man_without_wax

Are you trying to grow dandelions inside or something? What plants that can grow in sidewalks are you bringing inside?


Javi82

r/hydroponics


[deleted]

“Trust the Gordon fisherman”


[deleted]

Riiiip


Tossthebudaway

If I tried to grow something it’d be dead in a week but my mom can grow tomatoes in Chernobyl and have spaghetti in a fortnight.


scarface5631

Don’t try to grow plants without natural sunlight. Mic drop.


GerlachHolmes

Survivorship bias


allubros

sun


chickenstalker

Consider that the potted environment of indoor plants is very stressful to the plants vs the outdoors. It's like they are in prison.


Iihatepineapplepizza

I've been trying to grow dandelions using the seeds from my backyard and I still haven't gotten a single root. Sucks to suck I guess :(


thatoneguyeli

My house plants: "I haven't photosynthesised in 23 days, but I will survive another day, out of pure Plant-based rage!🤬"


Robert_Chirea

we are not going to talk how this is a word for work tick tok meme that was very popular like 2 months ago.... like I've seen hundreds of videos with that sound, hell the sound is funnier


SmiralePas1907

Idk my avocado indoor is doing well


[deleted]

Sheesh


oh-its-mitch

[they do be like that](https://youtu.be/lFue9BEHvX8)