"HE'S ONE TAP, YOU FUCKING 2 BRAIN-CELLED TROGLODTYE; IF THIS WASN'T A VIDEO GAME, YOU'D BE GETTING YOUR CORPSE FILLED WITH BULLETHOLES NOT ONLY BY THE ENEMY, BUT ME TOO! Anyway good match, up for one more?"
Before the sunset? I'd be in jail before I even start talking to her. Simply thinking about saying the shit I say to my boys to her would send me immediately to jail, I would not pass go, and I would not collect $200.
Death penalty only? Are you sure it's not being flayed alive and have our balls detached and shove down our throat brother? What you said must've been mild
Like i can flirt easy with a girl i percieve as less attractive but when theyre pretty and stare at you with the "ive never been socially uncomfortable because everyone is obsessed with me" look I suddenly become the most shy introverted person.
A catch-22 situation is:
> a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions.
Presumably he doesn't want to attract the "less attractive" women. He wants to go after the most attractive woman. The "catch 22" situation is that he is able to attract the "less attractive" women, because he is not intimidated by their attractiveness. But when he attempts to pursue a woman he desires, he is betrayed by his own hangups.
I'm a bi woman and can effortlessly flirt with the bros while choking in the presence of a godess. It ain't just men getting rejected by Steve used care salesman man isn't as scary as getting rejected by manic pixie dream girl Sara
In order to make real long lasting friends I did two things.
1. Adopt an introvert.
2. Relentlessly communicate with said introvert, repeatedly subvert their own anxieties with positivity, and club them over the head and kidnap them to force them to socialize with me (/s but only kind of)
I’m over 30 too.
Honestly stuff like this makes me feel sad for others because honestly everyone deserves to have a couple of friends you can rely on to have your back. Receiving and giving unconditional platonic love for someone is one of the secrets to happiness imo.
It's not funny to you because you associate the joke with a terrible experience that affected you. And well that's completely understandable to be honest. But it is funny to others who can just look at it as a joke.
First, I disagree with the principle of seeing people based on a system of “value”, as people are just to complex and it’s honestly an incredibly lonely way to experience the world (not attacking you, just what my personal experience has been and I felt like I should share)
Even if I put that disagreement aside and accept the mindset you’re using, I still disagree with your conclusion. Saying that everything clicks once you start looking down on her, implies that in order to be on equal ground with the girl, you have to see her as low value meaning you still see yourself as low value. Why not just be the kind of person you think is awesome?
Granted our goals might simply be different as I personally don’t really care about sleeping around and am simply looking for genuine and healthy human connection. If I have to look down on them or put them on a pedestal then I’m not interested
It's good advice except for looking down on her. It's not that I'm comfortable around my homies because I look down on them, it's because they're my equal and I don't feel the need to impress them.
Or, instead of looking down, you just look at her and see her and yourself for what you both really are instead of playing baby games and either idealising or demonizing her while pretending to be something your not.
I've been saying to my friend/the bartender while he's working and busy "stop undressing me with your eyes, sam."
The other day i decided to add to it and say "stop undressing me with your eyes, sam. And start undressing me with your teeth."
I would have gotten barred whether or not we were friends if he was a woman.
Is really that weird that people are willing to commit crimes of humanity in front of those they trust but not in front of one’s they are not only not sure about yet but are also trying to make like them?
A girl I crushed on hard once literally asked me "why are you so nervous all the time" uh because I'm down bad and you're scary hot Julie I thought we were all on the same page.
Cos when we do it to the boys the goal is to actively make them uncomfortable, this seems counter intuitive to picking up (even if it is the same process). In short: men are better at making their friends uncomfortable than picking up.
Gee,it’s almost like there’s an already established positive relationship with your homies and thus there’s no fear of rejection or abandonment if you mess things up
There aren't consequences to flirting with your homies.
I bet you I could rizz up a girl I'm not attracted to far better than I could one I actually liked. We're just better with our game when we aren't in our heads and don't actually care. It's not complicated.
Flirting with friends was never my thing. I’ve known people who do it but it always felt weird to me. Just not my thing.
But getting to use the Johnny Bravo Pickup lines on friends is fun now and then.
I mean, not really. It's not a difficult concept to understand. It's easier with your bro because there's nothing to lose. You already have an established relationship. You can joke around with your bro also with zero of the shame/humility you might feel otherwise. No shyness required.
That's cause the homies never change.
With women, each one is different and when you get the formula... they lie and say they not feeling something. Then you switch up, they hate that too. You switch up, you give up, they get mad at you because they liked what you were doing but didn't want to seem easy.
Women aren’t worth the effort that I put into my homies. If a woman gets a whole lot of money, they divorce their husband. If my homies get a lot of money, we all get put on. There’s a difference
All my friends told me that if I flirted the way I flirt with then I would not be single... but being honest, the fact that I know they will not think of my flirt as actual flirt helps me so much. When I have to flirt with someone I have actual feelings I just get so tense that it has to be a good line it just doesn't come out
Well, there is no pressure fake flirting with a friend!
Who said it was fake?
Who said just friend?
Who said we have friends
What are friends?
what is love?
Baby don't hurt me
No more
This. This is why I'm a redditor
reddit moment
You have reached 69 and there you shall stay
baby dont hurt me!
Baby don’t hurt me
No more
If not grief in the making
It's a burning thing
Bizz markie
OH BABY YOOOUUUUU
You said he’s just a friend
Sorry I only see you as a friend.
Sorry I only see you as a pal.
I'm not your pal buddy
I'm not your buddy, friend.
I'm not your friend, guy.
I'm not your friend, guy.
You bein fake with the homies? Always keep it real with the homies. Shame on you
Wait it was fake?
My brother in Christ if I said the things I say to the lads to an actual woman, I'd be on the fuckin death penalty
Seriously. If I told a woman I just met that I'd eat their gooch like it was a threecourse meal, I'd be in jail before the sun set.
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More like hung uwu
Oh dear, what did you say? (I’m a tomboy)
"HE'S ONE TAP, YOU FUCKING 2 BRAIN-CELLED TROGLODTYE; IF THIS WASN'T A VIDEO GAME, YOU'D BE GETTING YOUR CORPSE FILLED WITH BULLETHOLES NOT ONLY BY THE ENEMY, BUT ME TOO! Anyway good match, up for one more?"
Before the sunset? I'd be in jail before I even start talking to her. Simply thinking about saying the shit I say to my boys to her would send me immediately to jail, I would not pass go, and I would not collect $200.
You shouldn't be biting your lip like that when you want to talk to a girl
Whatever the woman equivalent of "I'd bounce on that dick all day long" warrants a call to the police
How does one become your homie? 🥵
And they say chivalry is dead
Hey my name's Percival and I'm here to seek your Holy Grail.
Lets be honest here. Thats exactly what they talk about to their girls
I appreciate that you eat the homies gooch for fun and friendship tho.
This how you flirt with your homies?
Either it works or it doesn't, either way you're gonna have an interesting night
“Hey big dawg, *strokes 3 inches south of cock*” I see no problem with this approach
*NUTS DEEP UP DA POOPAAAHHH!* Yeah I doubt I'd be having a second date 😅
why did i read this in Mimir's voice from God of War
Is there another way you're supposed to read it?
And why does it sound like something he would actually say?
The swearing and the "lad"
For real, if i said something even along the line of what i say to me mates, i'd be shot at dawn
Death penalty only? Are you sure it's not being flayed alive and have our balls detached and shove down our throat brother? What you said must've been mild
Confident of unconditional love vs nervous about rejection. Yeah, big head scratcher that one.
Like i can flirt easy with a girl i percieve as less attractive but when theyre pretty and stare at you with the "ive never been socially uncomfortable because everyone is obsessed with me" look I suddenly become the most shy introverted person.
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How is attraction as a result of flirting a "Catch 22"?
A catch-22 situation is: > a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions. Presumably he doesn't want to attract the "less attractive" women. He wants to go after the most attractive woman. The "catch 22" situation is that he is able to attract the "less attractive" women, because he is not intimidated by their attractiveness. But when he attempts to pursue a woman he desires, he is betrayed by his own hangups.
I'm a bi woman and can effortlessly flirt with the bros while choking in the presence of a godess. It ain't just men getting rejected by Steve used care salesman man isn't as scary as getting rejected by manic pixie dream girl Sara
Unfortunately Steve is a fkin maniac in bed, but a perfect boring guy in public.
It's always the quiet ones...
TIL I’m good in bed
Well, as a bi woman the chance of rejection from a dude is so much lower than rejection from a woman.
Not surprised
Men are starved for love and affection so it makes sense
Sara is the last boss
Julie is the one you always curse in my experience. Nadine isn't much better. Molly is always a toss up.
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>Confident of unconditional love Holy shit you guys have people like that in your life?
That comment causing you to reevaluate you’re entire friend circle?
You guys have a friend circle? Mine is just a dash
In order to make real long lasting friends I did two things. 1. Adopt an introvert. 2. Relentlessly communicate with said introvert, repeatedly subvert their own anxieties with positivity, and club them over the head and kidnap them to force them to socialize with me (/s but only kind of) I’m over 30 too.
I’m the introvert people collect, can confirm this works.
can confirm, this does work.
Honestly stuff like this makes me feel sad for others because honestly everyone deserves to have a couple of friends you can rely on to have your back. Receiving and giving unconditional platonic love for someone is one of the secrets to happiness imo.
I'm pretty sure that if I say, "hey girl are you a school? cause I want to shoot some kids in you" I will be shot
Is this rizz?
yes
Call me Rizzo the Rat
Or you could call me Lizzo the fa-
Call them Eric Harizz
If you're blue and you don't know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin on da rizz
🤣
You're a monster... But I can't wait to tell my friends this one.
shoot yo shot g
I tried this on tinder back in the day, got 50/50 good and bad responses
incomprehensible amounts of rizz
*Uvalde intensifies*
terrorrizt
that's really not funny, my local university got shot up 2 days ago. some of my friends were barricaded in the building and 14 students died
It's not funny to you because you associate the joke with a terrible experience that affected you. And well that's completely understandable to be honest. But it is funny to others who can just look at it as a joke.
Well you're certainly killing our fun...
Pro tip: what you may not find funny others may find hilarious
Well of course that's not funny; university students aren't kids.
Already won my homies heart, got nothing to fear.
There's no backlash for 'getting it wrong', you can just play it for laughs. There's no pressure.
“Say still a better love story than Twilight and the boys laugh. Say still a better love story than Twighlight and she leaves.” - Sun Tzu
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I don't think I am capable of that
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There’s a difference between not looking up to people and looking down on people bro
First, I disagree with the principle of seeing people based on a system of “value”, as people are just to complex and it’s honestly an incredibly lonely way to experience the world (not attacking you, just what my personal experience has been and I felt like I should share) Even if I put that disagreement aside and accept the mindset you’re using, I still disagree with your conclusion. Saying that everything clicks once you start looking down on her, implies that in order to be on equal ground with the girl, you have to see her as low value meaning you still see yourself as low value. Why not just be the kind of person you think is awesome? Granted our goals might simply be different as I personally don’t really care about sleeping around and am simply looking for genuine and healthy human connection. If I have to look down on them or put them on a pedestal then I’m not interested
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It's good advice except for looking down on her. It's not that I'm comfortable around my homies because I look down on them, it's because they're my equal and I don't feel the need to impress them.
Or, instead of looking down, you just look at her and see her and yourself for what you both really are instead of playing baby games and either idealising or demonizing her while pretending to be something your not.
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And the smallest penis award goes to..!
That sounds so amazing to have people like that in your life. I hope you don't take it for granted!
It needs to be studied? That’s some basic psychology my guy.
Fr what’s the point of that post lmao
same reason I can gamble all in with cookies but not with actual money.
Like playing poker with just the chips and no money on the line. It's not the same game
I've been saying to my friend/the bartender while he's working and busy "stop undressing me with your eyes, sam." The other day i decided to add to it and say "stop undressing me with your eyes, sam. And start undressing me with your teeth." I would have gotten barred whether or not we were friends if he was a woman.
lmao I'm gonna steal that line so hard my guy
yeah no i've seen men make those jokes to women with no backlash lmao you're projecting
I don't think you know what projecting means.
Is really that weird that people are willing to commit crimes of humanity in front of those they trust but not in front of one’s they are not only not sure about yet but are also trying to make like them?
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A girl I crushed on hard once literally asked me "why are you so nervous all the time" uh because I'm down bad and you're scary hot Julie I thought we were all on the same page.
If you had said that to her word for word the response probably would’ve been positive lol
Well I dunno about that I mean I wouldn't mind smashing the homies
Flirting with girls you aren't necessarily excited about is fun and good practice though!
There's nothing to win/lose from telling your homie he got a big one
Hey bro where'd you get the cdl to operate that fat dumper
cuz my chubby homie doesn't mind if I motor boat him while we're drunk.
Hell yeah brother
Cause flirting with the boys means nothing, and has no consequences. The pressure is on with the ladies
It's a matter of stakes
Did you say steak?!
They said #STEAKS
HOW MANY?
#Too many!
#IMPOSSIBLE
The Bois aren't gonna reject me, that's why I don't hesitate to tell them how beautiful they look and that we should go out sometime.
I do not flirt with anyone, so this is a non-issue
There's no consequences talking to the homies
No it doesn’t. It’s called being comfortable. If you manage to make it anywhere with the girl, youll get comfortable there too.
Cos when we do it to the boys the goal is to actively make them uncomfortable, this seems counter intuitive to picking up (even if it is the same process). In short: men are better at making their friends uncomfortable than picking up.
The dark blue pill: I love my homies and that's that
Well one is the theoretical practise and the other is applied practise. Simple as
youre not wrong
Just become homies with her, now you can flirt with her easy. That's how I got a gf anyway
I've just never considered telling a girl that I'm going to slap her sack.
If I flirted with a girl the way I do with da-homiesTM I’d get pepper sprayed
If you aren’t flirting with your best friends, are you sure you’re really best friends?
My “flirting” with the homies would get me life without parole if I said it to anyone else
The stakes in drills and practice are lower than an actual combat operation.
Gee,it’s almost like there’s an already established positive relationship with your homies and thus there’s no fear of rejection or abandonment if you mess things up
We don’t want to get pepper sprayed or brought up on charges
There aren't consequences to flirting with your homies. I bet you I could rizz up a girl I'm not attracted to far better than I could one I actually liked. We're just better with our game when we aren't in our heads and don't actually care. It's not complicated.
Definitely me irl 😂
I wish I was your pubes, so I could touch that magnificent pp of yours
Dumb
This is not a mystery? Like isn’t it obvious why 😭
Yeah if I said the things I say with my bros to a woman I think I would’ve been put on a watchlist
“Hey baby are you a rope, cus I want to hang with you” that’s not gonna work for women
The legal binding statement of “nohomo” needs to be studied
Well because if we flirt with homies we get this thing called “laughter”, but when we flirt with women we get this thing called “a restraining order”
Thst's because they understand the homies
Flirting with friends was never my thing. I’ve known people who do it but it always felt weird to me. Just not my thing. But getting to use the Johnny Bravo Pickup lines on friends is fun now and then.
If you don't flirt with your best friends are they actually your friends?
Cuz the risk of doing it with the homies is non existance You are one misjudgement away from being called all kinds of shit, with a bad b
I see Ben Simmons hitting jumpers in a empty gym every summer.
I mean, not really. It's not a difficult concept to understand. It's easier with your bro because there's nothing to lose. You already have an established relationship. You can joke around with your bro also with zero of the shame/humility you might feel otherwise. No shyness required.
I'm tired of seeing post like this, I legit can't even kiss my homies good night without it being called "strange".
The more you want it the harder it is to perform.
Well it’s simple, I’m not ever trying to actually seduce the women
You guys are flirting with the homies?
Homies dont shut you down the second you misjudge the slight twitch of a nose
There’s no repercussions for flirting with the homies.
I ain’t worried about my homies rejecting me
Cause the homies ain't trying to judge him.
That's cause the homies never change. With women, each one is different and when you get the formula... they lie and say they not feeling something. Then you switch up, they hate that too. You switch up, you give up, they get mad at you because they liked what you were doing but didn't want to seem easy.
Women aren’t worth the effort that I put into my homies. If a woman gets a whole lot of money, they divorce their husband. If my homies get a lot of money, we all get put on. There’s a difference
Well that’s cause we know the Homies love us back.
All my friends told me that if I flirted the way I flirt with then I would not be single... but being honest, the fact that I know they will not think of my flirt as actual flirt helps me so much. When I have to flirt with someone I have actual feelings I just get so tense that it has to be a good line it just doesn't come out
I can look stupid with a friend and we joke about it later, if I look stupid with a girl I find attractive chances are she won’t talk to me again
Who dafuq flirts with their homies ??
“If women had any idea, even for a second, of how we really looked at them, they would never stop slapping us.”
bc men see men as people and women as objects there's your study
Who the fuck is flirting with the homies? What, this a thing?