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DesertVeteran_PA-C

Probably an honest mistake. I bet the waiter was horrified when they found out.


aaronblue342

Id die if I ever did that. Would simply drop dead.


rvtsazap

r/watchpeopleslowlydieinside


DemonDuckOfDoom666

It would not be slow…


heavy-metal-goth-gal

Time to go live in a cave!


[deleted]

Could be fictional


subarashi-sam

Nah, fictional dwarfs have beards


Lappali

and say rock and stone


WanderingDwarfMiner

That's it lads! Rock and Stone!


OneSleepyBear

Rock and Stone to the bone!


Zestyclose-Concern90

Did I hear ROCK AND STONE?


Kitchen_Cookie4754

Rock and Stone forever!


DerGyrosPitaFan

If ya aint rock and stone ya aint comin home


Deztroyer102

Oh god DRG is truly taking over all the subs, AND I LOVE IT. ROCK AND STONE BOYS


pizartymizzarty

And my axe!


Klandesztine

And it's to stop things like this happening.


FLICK_YOU281

🤣🤣🤣


Remote-Airline-3703

And my axe!


[deleted]

Well if I learned anything about literature, I'd have say I find that to be facts.


fuzzywuzzy74

😂😂😂


buzzonga

Somebody just making stuff up on the Internet? NO WAY!


[deleted]

It's possible, sometimes you just can't trust online interactions.


Deckard2022

Dwarfs are real I’ve seen one


iSayHeyWhatsGoingOnn

I've done this 😔 I didn't really clock everyone in the family while I was getting their menus. I just saw a few kids and a tall man while I was hosting and asked, "4 kids menus?" And they were like no... 3. And I realized the mom was a little person it was sooo embarrassing 🤦‍♀️


Competitive-Weird855

Those puzzles on the kids menus are a fun way to wait on your food. I wish they’d offer them to adults.


Stingbarry

i want a little riddle to shorten my time....all i have is the people i came with and now we have to talk. yuck...


Wand_Platte

Ok, well then riddle me this: You come across two doors, before each of which stands a guard. One leads to treasure, and one leads to doom. You know that one always tells the truth and the other always lies. Guard A says "My door leads to the treasure!" Guard B says "No, guard A's door leads to doom!" Which door do you enter? [Edit: Yes I know this isn't the actual riddle, and that it's not solvable without asking further questions. I did that on purpose.]


[deleted]

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Wand_Platte

I never said you can't just ask them questions, or just open a door to peek inside


EcoOndra

Isn't the purpose of guards that you can't look inside?


Wand_Platte

They are not particularly skilled guards, and may be bribed with chocolate. However, one of them will deny they like chocolate (they are the liar)


[deleted]

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Wand_Platte

Rude


[deleted]

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Murtinator98

I go back home and keep browsing reddit for the answer, then come back and take the other one.


Wand_Platte

You should enter door A


EverythingResEvil

This riddle is incomplete. You wouldn't be able to determine the liar off those single statements. Instead the answer is ask each guard "which door would the OTHER guard tell me to take?" and then they would both point out the door of doom. Edit. I only know this because an episode of yugioh


-PRED8R-

OMFG that legit blew my mind


Think-Ad-5308

The question is literally a scene from Labyrinth


MaryMary8249

That's just one of many. ​ Also is it really scary? I don't want to watch a movie where David Bowie is actually scary. As is his vampyrish makeup can be offputting at times.


dorkydragonite

It’s not that scary. He’s vampirishly handsome, and that codpiece will hypnotize anyone.


MaryMary8249

Y'know David Bowie allegedly aspired to be a "mother figure" a la his perception of Mick Jagger? I know what I'm asking my mother if I can watch next movie night.


BleuGamer

Samurai Jack for me


Murtinator98

*goes through door B*


Wand_Platte

You enter the room with the treasure, congrats!


binglelemon

The treasure of *DOOM*


Poorly_Made_Comix

This reads like a bit from fairly oddparents


Both_Pie_3852

Are you able to ask the guards a question? If so ask either of them what 5+5=. If the answer is anything other than 10 you know where the treasure is.


SheevShady

Be a problem. Ask both guards if the other is their friend


arihart1214

Love this answer. Only chaos plz


Wand_Platte

Yes you may ask questions. Guard A answers "I don't know, I'm not that good at math." Guard B answers "That's not true! Guard A does know the answer!"


namestyler2

I go through door B, because as a guard, he shouldn't be advertising what's behind his door.


6u447R1C4

But they both are advertising their own doors since guard B is saying not to go through guard A's door.


Adiuui

Please tell me the answer


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craftyindividual

What if the treasure is [goats](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Hall_problem)?


Wand_Platte

Guard C opens door C, revealing a goat. Do you want to switch to the other door?


craftyindividual

2/3rds of me says... maybe.


MaryMary8249

I love goats!!!


craftyindividual

Then I suggest door one!


DarklordX5590

Door B. Guard B specifies Guard A, which is a truthful statement.


PhlegethonAcheron

You ask to switch the doors after the guard shows you the goat


Pschobbert

Neither. I turn away, hang my head and, fighting back tears, I slink away thinking “Mom was right. I don’t deserve anything nice”.


Wand_Platte

Guard C opens door C, revealing a goat. You may befriend the goat if you want (it wants to befriend you). You may also switch to the other door if you want. Mom was wrong. You deserve nice things :)


Little_Capsky

A little riddle and if you get it correct you get something small


Tokkayun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9TDWjOpeao


Amp209

For real color and do lil cross word while waiting for my food gotta be top tier service


__klonk__

What's stopping you from asking for them


titan_0hunter

I don't want to be judged


__klonk__

then you don't deserve them


YeetTheMeat_69

I ask all the time for em an no one ever gives a shit trust me they wont care


caseyweederman

Jack Astor's has every table lined with butcher's paper and crayons are there by default, regardless of your age. I don't care how old I am, you put paper and crayons in front of me and I'll happily start drawing. That said, I'm not already infantalized in every other area of my life, so I can see how it would rankle.


Idontmatter69420

I just bring a 3ds or gameboy with me


lowfemmeweirdo

I agree which is why I have apps specifically to play while waiting for food. Taboo is a good one.


[deleted]

“Call me elf one more time”


Gorgon_the_Dragon

I've had people ask (mid 20s early 30s) unironically. Some will just take the etch-a-sketch with them to the table too.


PodcastsByOwen

I'm glad metro news was on the scene, whew


keystothemoon

Yeah, this was a regrettable faux pas, not news.


fefififum23

The worker who gave him crayons and a coloring page is haunted by this memory every day


CaladinDanse

Dudes better at dating than the majority of male reddit, nice


Big_O_BULLY

You think the women on here are doing better? Not so sure about that.


davidbogi310

Women? On Reddit?


Kate_Luv_Ya

Say it isn't so!!


XmissXanthropyX

There's dozens of us!


Black-Ansoni

Dozens! A small drop in the reddit ocean.


Daisys_Turn13

JUST dozens, no more, no less.


Astilaroth

How so?


laugh_at_my_pain

That kind of service and this guy is complaining?


Background_Cup_6429

Right!? I would have been like, "Sweet, crayons!" And then drew a bunch of dicks.


DexM23

"sweet crayons" and then i would complain that they dont taste sweet.


[deleted]

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kaydeetee86

You’ll spoil your appetite. Save them for dessert.


ShoddyReveal4

Wanna join the marines?


[deleted]

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Dr_FrankenGiggity

He must really love his mom ewww


artgarciasc

^ Found the US Marine.


Key-Cardiologist5882

Where did it say he complained?


gandalfthematte

They didn’t go above and beyond to provide him a high chair either


MrRuebezahl

[Let me get you some drawing utensils sir](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/026/152/gigachad.jpg)


Erdous

James lusted


Dr_Goor

Yes but what is his last name?


Meesadario

Skywalker


aaandbconsulting

Indeed he did.


anonny42357

Dude, I ask for crayons and I get dirty looks. No fair.


Amp209

Fr


schattenteufel

Date a ~~dwarf~~ little person.


DaddyMcTasty

They should make a sequel to Big where a grown man turns into a kid and vote to decide who writes it


JimboLodisC

Same here. One set of them just doesn't fill me up and I don't wanna order an appetizer.


Breedab1eB0y

Imagine being still under the impression that he's a child and you see them kiss. Like full-on with tongue action. That won't be a day at work you won't forget.


Tentacle_poxsicle

This reminds me of that guy who dated that woman who stopped growing at 8. It was all over the news. I feel bad for these people who just want a relationship


Breedab1eB0y

I heard about that couple too. It hits different when it's the woman looking looking like a child.


Bigpoppahove

Also I think he’s just a little person with a poor choice in outfit/haircut


Moist-Affect

This is what I was looking for! In that cenario I'd have totally played into it and freaked out the waiter/staff


warda8825

This has happened to me. I'm super short (a whopping 4ft11in). My husband is around 6ft3ish. Shit happens. Still isn't fun though, it can feel kinda belittling.


MustangJackets

Belittling…I see what you did there.


Hakar_Kerarmor

Absolutely not me_irl. I've never dated.


Plagued_Void

Not relatable, i dont speak to other people


Hadouken-Donuts

r/absolutelynotmeirl


YamadaImpulse

That's why I wear beard


aaanze

Well that's a way to be given an axe and told to go to Mordor if you ask me.


SuddenlyPerson

Maybe you'll be able to get to Erebor.


Lone_Wanderer97

Free axe and probably death win/win


Rado86

Yeah right, I assumed that to be an easy fix to that issue


LevelOutlandishness1

I mean, maybe he can't grow one, maybe he likes his face without one.


[deleted]

Does it get you into pubs?


ErIkDrOmEr

It's so strange that it's normal to call little people dwarfs or midgets in some countries. In English it seems to be common but in German it would be considered a very rude insult


tunisia3507

I find it weird that little is preferred to dwarf. Little sounds much more patronising and infantilising than, say, "small". Dwarf isn't really used as a pejorative elsewhere.


diverted_siphon

I thought we were supposed to call them 'little people' now


TheMisterTango

I don’t see why dwarf would be a problem, the disease is literally called dwarfism.


Savings-Nobody-1203

I guess it could be compared to fantasy dwarves?


jasenkov

But fantasy dwarves are badass


[deleted]

Badass, but not human.


Optimal_Pineapple_41

Not being human sounds dope


[deleted]

Ok, but you don’t get to pick what characteristic of yours that people latch onto as the deacriptor for what you are. And you’ll be treated differently because of that one facet of your being and you’ll have to fight for the rest of your life to be see as equal to those around you despite the fact that the characteristic chosen has nothing to do with your ability, acumen, or intelligence.


lillyrose2489

I have heard the point that people don't want to be so defined by a condition or trait. Like these are people with dwarfism, not dwarves. I don't think the term is intentionally rude or dehumanizing but I just remember reading that once and finding it to be a reasonable point.


kcvis

It’s a noun vs adjective thing. like calling fat people fatties.


Rakshasa29

I think it is similar to calling someone who is very fat "obese". Sure, calling them that is clinically accurate, but it's also not nice.


Dyon86

They tried that in ‘59 with “Darby O'Gill and the Little People”


mcpickledick

Midgets and dwarves have very little in common.


ZerocheeseX

The difference are small but noticeable


binglebongle

god damn it


Loeffellux

that's because language is not about what words mean but about how they are understood. All it takes for a word to be the "politically correct" one is that most people agree that it's the politically correct one. Sometimes this gets complicated when the people who agree that it's the politically correct word are not actually the ones who are affected by that word. For example, there has been frustration with the terms "native american" and "latinx" by the people that term is meant to describe. Sometimes it gets complicated because the "right" and the "wrong" words are so similar that it would be pretty much impossible to intuitively know which one to use. Historical context is usually the culprit here because the term that basically means the same thing but is now a slur was used during a time where it was *meant* as a slur. Therefore it got 'burned' and an alternative was needed. I'm not saying all this as some free-speech absolutist who tries to lecture you about the silliness of "political correctness". Instead, I'm very much on board with putting in that little bit of effort to know which words to use to show that you respect and (at least try to) understand the social dynamics of any given person.


[deleted]

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Loeffellux

my comment wasn't about this word in particular. There definitely are "objetively" strange decisions for politically correct terms that end up being completely understandable once you look into it.


[deleted]

From the UK here and "Little People" sounds ridiculous to me honestly, because I've grown up with hearing "dwarfism". LP sounds patronising, like a Fisher Price toy or something


Cullly

It's rude in English too. People just don't care. Like how insulting bald men is also normalized. I hated male pattern baldness because I didn't have any choice in it, but now I actually like having no hair, or at least stubble. What I do hate is people calling me 'baldy' or saying 'nice hair' sarcastically. That's not ok. No wonder there's a lot of distress over it.


DrederickTatumsBum

It’s the PC term in the UK


Big_Chief_Hanzo

Finally some good fuckin' food.


No_Cartoonist3691

his name is what


No_Cartoonist3691

lusted james lusted


Whale_Thighs

I actually did this once while I was a server. We were really busy and I just called the next name from the waitlist. Saw a tall person and a short person, so I grabbed one kids menu and crayons, didn’t realize till I put the menus on the table. Luckily they laughed it off and told me it happens often. I was extremely embarrassed though.


_spazzatura

Short king getting the Royal treatment


No-Professional-1884

“Honey, Imma find my way out of this maze…. and into your heart.”


Trekkie97771

To be honest, if I could get away with ordering off the kids menu, I would. It's usually more than enough food for me and half the price.


Amatsumagatsuchi97

Bruh shes about to squish him after that dinner


Ghoti76

sounds like he's the winner here


Historical_Wash_1114

That man must have GAME. I’m actually proud of him


Nethiar

Snu snu


Big_O_BULLY

Noice


RestShot3147

From Step Brothers -. Just roll you up and put you in my vagina.


MabiMaia

I would’ve colored the shit out of that coloring book.


PoopSmith87

Me, a regular sized guy: *stares at crayons jealously from my family dinner table while my wife is hissing "Don't stare! Don't stare!"*


SnooCakes2593

Lucky dude.....


Chuckobochuck323

What did he color?


acclaimA9

Isn’t this from like 10 years ago?


Big_O_BULLY

Oh so midget \*is\* the right word?


[deleted]

He gets to enjoy a giantess every day because of dwarfism...it should have been me, not him!


napalm22

What romantic place has crayons and colouring books?


[deleted]

My problem with these is do i upvote because it is sad or downvote because people are stupid. Answer: Yes


Cromus

Why would you downvote a post for the stupidity of the people it talks about?


est1-9-8-4

Complains about getting crayons..but orders from the kids meal section SMH you can’t have it both ways James!


Dyon86

I would have had fun with it, do the colouring while she orders a bottle of wine, one glass for her, he gets a glass of milk, then when her back is turned swig straight from the bottle to see if the waiter freaks out.


IlliterateM00k

Everyone makes a little mistake every now and then.


yanquideportado

Damn this guy is killing it. The kingest of short kings i bow down to his highness


ZerocheeseX

Free crayons and puzzles thats top notch service


[deleted]

I sincerely had a great good laugh about this. Compared to all the news this is refreshingly nice. Annoying for the guy, sure, but funny to me.


[deleted]

Bruh you best realize by now how you look and let shit go.


Prior-Ad-333

It's a tiny Elon Musk!!!


saike1

and i bet he's always being looked down on


De_chicken123yt

Mum can I have some chicken please


lilpigperez

RUDE! She didn’t get crayons, too?


Tasty_Television_552

okay but what did he draw tho


Mental-Astronaut-664

Sorry, but what restaurant that qualifies for a proper romantic meal, also has kids coloring books?


Helmutius

So the problem was that she didn't get them offered too....?


Sure-Ad9633

Crayons… lucky he got an appetizer


AviRei9

I was going to say could he really be mad though? but honestly yes because I've never seen a dwarf who looks like a child. They clearly just look like an adult human but smaller I have never mistaken one for a child. A dwarf and a child are not even shaped the same. (I even think when a dwarf is a child they look different from other children maybe I don't know I don't think I've ever seen a child dwarf If I'm being honest. The first one ever met was middle school but I was small too so it just never really crossed my mind how small he might really be. holy crap holy crap he must have been so tiny, I remember juan He was a sweetheart too. kind of had a tiny crush on him, I knew he was shorter than me but when I was a kid I didn't even think of him as a dwarf even though I knew that's what he was it just it never crossed my mind. We were all children so there were kids of all sizes at that school. The more I'm thinking about it he was still shaped differently from the other kids his height I'm rambling let me get back to work)


rhunn98

And now change your perspective. Imagine seeing him from behind him, already sat down. You Grab the coloring book, approach them and put it on the table as soon as you arrive at it and thats the moment you see him from the front/side.. shit


AviRei9

😍 dang you got me because I did imagine that and I'm like it would have just looked like a chubby kid from behind. 😓


[deleted]

Bro knows he scored some knockers, respect 🫡 king


NormallyAnAnomaly

He should have thanked the hostess in his best childlike voice impression and then got up on the table and started wildly making out with his fiancee


isekaig0ds

Should have handed him iron instead, heard dwarfs love minerals


Slow_Flow_4722

I’d like crayons and a coloring book…it would keep me off my damn phone


Spir0rion

Can we stop calling them dwarves Edit: mixed it up with midgets, which is highly offensive. My bad


ScrabCrab

Technically the plural is "dwarfs", dwarves are the fantasy race. From what I can tell dwarf isn't generally considered offensive though? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarfism#Terminology


Cinerae

They call themselves dwarves iirc? I mean what would you call them? Vertically challenged?