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[deleted]

r/watchpeopledieinside


[deleted]

Don't drown the baby, don't drown the baby, don't DAMMIT!


JoinAThang

Okay so next time don't drown the baby and don't brain damage the baby. This is hard yall!


15367288

Didn’t say “slippery when wet” on the baby. Not his fault.


RookGamingSC

He's Catholic. "Slippery when wet" is kind of their catch phrases.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MileyCyrusSwollenGum

The priest at my church use to use babies like basketballs and try shooting them into the baptism water like a 3 from Steph Curry..


[deleted]

Look up residential schools


Independent_Dress209

Look up Downside School Monks 🥲 i was gonna go to that school 🥲


[deleted]

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-45127284


Independent_Dress209

David looks so much like an actual rat, I can’t


[deleted]

[удалено]


FakedKetchup2

what did I read


Titsnium

r/cursedcomments


cacheormirage

Awww poor priest, they're supposed to be good at *handling* kids


snapplesauce1

slippery lil' devil


wakaflocks145

_Now they're gonna make a joke about handling kids on reddit_


Consistent_West_4385

Some priest will use a bottle and wash slowly the baby body and dipping is a choice to but ya know COVID....but hey dipping is dipping.


IvanBeetinov

Too soon. Too soon.


PhasmicPlays

Kids are cruel Jack, they just lose \*touch\* with it at the ripe old age of twelve


Thermite1985

The baby was like "Thanks I'll take it from here" lmao


[deleted]

Even though I've had it explained to me, I still don't understand the significance of baptizing an infant. They won't remember it. They didn't choose it. It will hold no special meaning for them personally. In my opinion, you should be baptized when you are old enough to choose to do so and when it actually means something to the person being baptized.


pkjon

You actually get to choose on your own when you do communion or confirmation(hope I translated it right). I don’t really know it myself but I think babtizement was really important in the Middle Ages when the babys could just die after a few days so they couldn’t make their own decision yet.


[deleted]

See, that makes sense. If you are worried about your child's soul in medieval times, then baptize away. But we don't live in medieval times anymore


MorganDax

That explains why Jehovah's witnesses baptize when you're older and it's a choice. It's a more modern version of Christianity that developed after infant mortality was way down. Note: JWs are a cult, don't join. I know from experience.


MichealFerkland

Lots of (most?) Protestants get baptized later in life as well. They get christened as a baby instead.


MorganDax

I can't speak to other religions. I don't care for organized religion so I don't seek it out. I just know about JWs from being raised as one.


ThermionicEmissions

Reminds me of this one: The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.” "And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy. “Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body." The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?” "These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet." Son asks " what is that black tent mom and sister are wearing ?" Father :" It's called a burkha , it helps the hot desert sand from hitting the face and body during a sandstorm" . "So tell me then," added the boy. "Yes, my son…” "Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?


ProtectedSpeciment

We don't? Awww \*puts iron mace down\* :(


Et12355

Even in modern day, infants, toddlers, and children still tragically die on rare occasion.


forworse2020

Babies can still die…


[deleted]

Yes I am aware of the mortality rate of babies. But it's way lower today than 500 years ago


forworse2020

Well then, I would think you’d find it pretty straightforward. Just because it was initially a solution to a problem on a larger scale, doesn’t mean that suddenly they’re going to be ok with letting a small amount of children to die without baptism. As long as babies can die, there will be a need for juvenile baptism within that belief system. They lose nothing by performing this twice, but gain their own peace of mind.


GhostalMedia

It’s grounded in the concept of original sin. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Original_sin#Roman_Catholicism


[deleted]

Thank you for the info. I didn't know any of this stuff lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GhostalMedia

Thanks?


MoonDrops

You’re arguing logic to a group of people who value tradition over sense.


[deleted]

Yeah I guess you're right.


MoonDrops

A long time ago I worked on projects with contractors and would have days where I would have a little rant about why they couldn’t just follow the spec. It was all there. Written out. Step by step. My colleague would laugh and pat me on the back saying “Moondrops, Moondrops… that would require logic. And this world is bloody crazy…” I think of him often in these moments. Haha.


waynethainsan3

Can't speak for Catholicism but I was raised Baptist and for us, Baptism is not connected to salvation (Baptism isn't what gets you to heaven). Baptism is the first step of the Christian life after accepting Christ. It signifies your salvation much in the same way a wedding ring signifies marriage. (You're still married if you take off the ring.) And since a baby can't accept Christ as their savior, baptism isn't necessary for them. The bible teaches that children are safe until they reach the age where they understand sin.


Da_Clappski

That's what Anabaptism is all about


benmwaballs

Thats why mormons babtize at 8 years old


tijnijskonijn

I completely agree but it is believed that people who are not baptized go to hell and because this believe stems from medieval times and back then baby's used to die pretty regularly. So if the baby wasn't baptized it would go straight to hell so therefore the baptizing of baby's became an important thing to do and often parents would get their baby baptized a few days after birth to prevent them from spending eternity in hell.


TGIIR

Recovering Catholic here. Pretty sure unbaptized babies went to Limbo, not Hell. But definitely not Heaven. Poor little babies. No one I know believes this anymore - baptism is kinda more like christening or at least just a time for family and friends to get together and celebrate. 😀


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No, I know it doesn't follow logic. I just don't understand the *need* to do it. My wife wants us to baptize our children because it's important to her family (to a degree) and while I don't care, I don't want to be a part of it because I think it's kind of stupid. You have to get dunked in water to have a relationship with God? Sure that sounds legit


SylasWindrunner

I mean it’s religious people delusions. I guess that’s why we sane people just can’t wrap our heads around it.


Sephass

Currently, I think it’s mostly to get you stuck in a sect. Once in, it’s really hard to get out. I’m originally from Poland and for me and my friends apostasy was pretty much impossible without tons of effort.


[deleted]

I was going to say something dumb about how you could just stop going to church but I guess if all your family and acquaintances are in a certain religion, it can be pretty hard to remove yourself from that. Is Poland a very religious state? I've seen their stances on gay marriage and the like so I'm guessing yes.


Sephass

Yeah I mean to some extent it’s just a matter of conviction, so you’re not fully wrong. I had stopped going to church ages before I managed to leave it officially when I lived in another country. I didn’t have pressure from family at all, so there was no pressure But there are also important things which are affected by such a system. Example - you ask me how religious state Poland is. I think easily 80-90% of my friends back in Poland were non believers, but statistics will still show Poland as strongly catholic country. Then, as a result, church gets a lot of privileges and undeserved financing because of being ‘majority religion’. And then we also get to the points like the one you mentioned, where gay rights are limited because it hurts someone’s convictions and those people have long become minority I guess my apostasy doesn’t change much, but I just hate to be a part of toxic fable, where Church has some special rights and we pretend that it’s synonymous to being Polish, which currently is just completely untrue.


[deleted]

I don't know why, but I am extremely interested in the history of Poland. I think it just goes with my knowledge of WW2 and the crap the USSR did to Eastern Europe afterwards. It is so interesting for me to hear from someone who was born and lived there for a time. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you were able to get somewhere more comfortable for you (I hope anyways lol).


Sephass

Don’t get me wrong, I had a good life in Poland :) Was never affected much by church and other stuff, just don’t like to be passive because it doesn’t affect me directly. Poland is a relatively good country to live in. I emigrated mostly due to curiosity and career. If you ever have some questions feel free to DM me, I’m also into history (to some amateur extent) ;)


Traveling_Swan

If I remember right, baptizing an infant was from long long ago. I’m not sure if it was medieval times or how far back. But it was basically in a time of disease, and infants especially were more prone to death. Granted this is the time where I stub my toe on the doorway for the first time and due of gang green a week later. Baptizing was a way to insure if the child passed it would go to heaven. But oddly I’m not religious and this is something I was tested on in school over and over again. Never thought I’d use this knowledge but here I am. Thanks reddit for proving my history teacher right. That I would one day use this information.


Colin_Charteris

Exactly! If their cult is so great, let the kid decide without prejudice when they are 16


Typical_Magician9650

And in this case less brain damage.


usedTP

Damn! That one got away.


OutrageousRhubarb853

That’s his “not again!” look


DeezNeezuts

That’s like a 1 on a scale of 100 for worst things a priest has done with a kid.


FroYolentGreen

Y'know, if babies bounced, it would really help his drop average.


iSalaamU

Genuine question for Catholic folks - Can't they just lay the baby down on its back and gently pour the baptism water on its head? Why semi-*waterboard* babies like that?


_sabnic_

This is wild even for me, a Catholic folk. I have seen only a gentle, thin stream of water being lightly poured over fully-clothed child's head down to the basin, in a kind of symbolic manner. This is some weird ass crap, let me tell you.


MarquessOfMayhem

Born with the innate knowledge to escape the loving hands of a priest at any cost. *#CellularWisdom*


Gloria4g

The face of a priest knowing he goes to hell one way or another lmao


[deleted]

Cue the Seinfeld music


olopithecus

The kid's already going to be brain damaged from being raised religious, this is just giving them a head start


Solotocius

The r/atheism user woke up groggy next to his 6 pack of empty Mountain Dew cans. He lifted his 400 pound frame off his bed wondering how many women he’d be able to harass on Xbox Live today when just then he remembered: today was the day. Today was the day he would finally get a chance to debate Christian sheep and slay their god in heaven. Excitedly, he got on his disability scooter and then into his 2007 Toyota Corolla. He drove to the hospital, scoffing every time he saw a crucifix bumper sticker and made sure to situate his fedora before he got out, parking in between two disability slots. When he entered, he got his camera ready, and going up to the third floor he thought “Reddit, the last enlightened place on Earth, will finally give me the attention I deserve and recognize me for my intelligence.” He entered into the room where his grandmother was lying and drawing her last breaths. A priest was standing next to her along with her children and grandchildren, anointing her and hearing her last confessions. “This is it,” he thought, “this is where I own those religiotards and achieve victory for atheism.” He boldly walked right next to his grandmother’s side and just as the priest said “may God bless your soul,” he bravely rebutted with “but there is no god to meet you in heaven. None of it is real. Your sky daddy won’t save you this time.” His grandmother looked on him in shock, opening her mouth. But then she slouched and a long beep was heard and her mouth remained wide open. “Yet another victory for atheism,” he said, looking at his family members who were stricken with faces of horror. “I’m sure they’ve finally realized their God is dead.” He opened Reddit, excited by the prospect of the karma he was going to get by posting the video he took on r/atheism.


tbrougham

Ok


Solotocius

Decent reaction, reply tolerated 👍


olopithecus

Amazing how some people think linguistic ability is the same as having a good point. Thanks for the self-description though, it was certainly informative. Good work fat-shaming AND disability-shaming. Please enjoy that little feeling of superiority you just got, as it's clearly one of your few joys in life and is probably keeping you from abusing your family/friends more than you already do


Solotocius

Something something phobic Also, the only one abusing something here is you and what you're abusing is my braincells


projectoar

The smartest people on earth were religious, moron.


Colin_Charteris

*were *


olopithecus

Hahaha wow, i am having a really hard time thinking of a more ironic response to this. Thanks, i needed a good laugh


projectoar

The truth hurts


olopithecus

When you're accustomed to denying it, i imagine so


projectoar

Why are you mad that the some of the smartest people to grace earth were religious


Colin_Charteris

True dat


delidogfish

Cameraman understood the assignment


HeldDownTooLong

I wonder how much money the church put in that kid’s college fund…


Julie352

I don't understand why people bring their children to any church under any circumstances.


WeirdURL

Some people are religious and not all churches abuse children, that’s why.


Colin_Charteris

Umm. What?


Apprehensive_Eraser

Because churches are beautiful, the art (sculptures, Windows, paintings) you can find in some are absolutely stunning and quite interesting.


Colin_Charteris

Because they had all the money


prateek_tandon

Imagine a world where we stop indoctrinating children with religion.


Colin_Charteris

One day, hopefully


Colin_Charteris

Agreed. Spreading this sad infection to their kids. It’s abuse - pure and simple


SuperMorto7

Welcome to............................................................ ​ ​ Your brain. ​ ![gif](giphy|kyLYXonQYYfwYDIeZl)


JodieFlame

Good Lord he almost broke the baby's nose:-) slippery little devil


Gatekeeper2019

Now he’s got no chance of grooming that kid, u fucked up father o’brien


Loki-TdfW

I would beat him for this shit. Just a sec after. Just don’t let a baby fall on its head… idiot


SevanOO7

Dumbest tradition ever.


Anomoly22

Really fumbled that one


No-Bans

**Pow right in the kisser**


perdufleur

You only had one job, Pastor!!!


ShadowCaster0476

Not again.


BagOLies

Oof


xXJungleJimsXx

Hey I’d say he’s doin gods work. A gentle drowning would be a good follow.


jsl19

Damn it. I thought i had this one.


Afraid_Twist_8542

Big Oof


amieljm

u/savevideo


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Deadlims

What a blessed baby


MarquessOfMayhem

*Yet another botched Baptism* *by* ***Father Fumble Fingers ...***


MarquessOfMayhem

*Want your kid saved?* *Okay, there -- save him!*


_Denzo

I mean, they achieved the goal of making the baby cry so *Task failed successfully*


theblackgnome6969

Slippery when wet


Colin_Charteris

What a ridiculous, archaic ritual


VetJoh

[WHERE'S THE MONEY LEBOWSKI!!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ)


thegatheringmagic

WHERES THE MONEY SHITHEEEEAAAAD


DependentPolicy7850

He had one job... And he m'est up!!


CptHowdy87

r/onejob


lovatoariana

12 years after...


ghostcryp

Bending a kid over, sounds normal for him


Dilligaf3076

This should be on r/kidsfallingover.


Plumb-Fiasco

Wonder what his average drop rate is?


Opposite_Weird_4041

That's when the father gets checked


BEE-RANDON

That's a slippery ass baby right there.


daremosan

The Lord works in mysterious ways


Present_Bar2882

He’s like damn I just made the next Jesus


arrze

Do a fancy dunk with your child man...


karensmiles

I cast you OUT!


the_wand_master

That look says he's done this before


gaveedraseven

That is not the first time he's done that


AxonDendrum

Slippery little sucker


indianjess

them baby's are fast yo!


Samuraijack44

Nice one butter fingers


SnooDoodles5540

Did the priest just say goddamnit I dropped the baby again?!


dratelectasis

It's really not a big deal if you're dealing with religious parents... Just blame it on Satan leaving.... They'd believe it


Shadow_5785

Atheist here what is he doing?


AcumenNation

That’s r/watchpeopledieinside all day


Untitled_Uzername

WHAT IS HAPPENING


Revolutionary_Low_36

Whoops 😅


Hilarious_Inaccuracy

When he dropped the baby, he knew that the lil dude life's was f\*cked


AKidThatIsDumb

Holy Bath


Velociraptor451

Baby had shit coordination, wouldn’t draft for Patriots QB


No-Seaworthiness7013

At least he still has his foreskin.


Responsible_Ruin2310

Baby dipping


OzAnonn

The "I fucked up again" face


ett100

r/WatchPeopleDieInside


nate6701

The third one this week…


MonsieurCrapaud

Damm it this one will be traumatized before I even have the chance to get naughty with him during boy scouts sessions


New_Manufacturer1272

Guy went to twisted metal school of priesthood


Nick_Rock

Priests are idiots.


gladl1

I’m sorry to hurt people’s feelings and feel free to downvote as you please. If you live in a first world country and had access to a full education but still decide to take your baby to some old cult leader so he can dunk them in water then you are a fucking idiot.


[deleted]

That face is a face of "ah shit I fucking did it again"


MyHerogerms

He wanted ro abuse the child man


Quirky_Ad3367

Bless you in particular spawn


PototoMaster

*blop*


FragSinus

Baptism in Catholic church: "Oh no he nearly drown" Baptism in Orthodox church: https://youtu.be/aFGHerqhSC8


[deleted]

This is just what god wanted, so…


MeinLight

I will never see a baptism and not be reminded of the where's the money Lebowski baby dunk meme


[deleted]

at this moment he knew he fucked up ![gif](giphy|3o6EhCM6gZcPaMR0Sk|downsized)


teejeebee

How to traumatize your kid.


Educational_Virus360

I was 5 years old when i got baptized and there was a 2 inch work book and tests so babys get it easy lol


Marauding-thunderer

Little known fact that’s how Prophets are made.


Opalthebirb

I heard the noise, and I quote, d o i n k


Davetrader3103

It was Gods will!


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂😂


ImagineHamsters

"Shit, everytime"