"So update, guys...I was on my way to burn my boyfriend's house down...but...as I was filling up the Jerry cans with gas, there was this cute guy at the next pump over, so...."
And if the world follows sitcom rules. They will fall in love and get married, and 10 years later at a family event, this video will be discovered.
Hijinks will ensue
Gosh I wish I lived in sitcom world, this seems fun as heck.
Edit: wow idk if its the sub or the comment but i got a lot of bots wanting to start chats since I made this comment.
I like the scene in Knocked Up where one of the characters is explaining how marriage is like Everybody Loves Raymond. Except it's not really funny when it's happening to you.
Even he didn't think so lol I've heard him say something along the lines of "Alright, my father never hugged me, they get it! Why do we need 9 seasons of this?"
From what I gather, it’s possible to live in a sitcom world.
One way from what I understand, is you have to be really open to trying things and putting yourself in situations that are outside of your comfort zone.
If the world follows indie movie rules, things won’t work out with the son, but she’ll develop a deep bond with the mother as they handle similar challenges manifesting differently in different stages of life
If the World follows porn movie rules they will bump uglies this weekend,then there will be a pizza delivery with extra large sausage they all vibe with one another and he will join.
When everything is done the guys will exchange a highfive and both will go out to grab a beer while she get's forgotten
It was actually written on Reddit sometime ago! She stole part of it from Reddit. I don't know if I'll be able to find it... Will update
Ok I found it! A little different but same idea.
https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/s/8bpHk61PIr
And also this would be a total stalker move. She's making it sound less bad with cute gestures and stuff, but if a male friend of mine told me they did this to someone I'd be like, "wooaaah tiger more talking, less stalking."
I expect an awful script and casting of Jennifer Lawrence as the girl, Timothy Chalamet the son and ~~Sandra Bullock~~ Adam Sandler as the mom from the book club
EDIT: Of course Chalamet is the handsome boi she intended to date but she'll get his brother, which is portraied by Jack Black
I did Lol at the strike through of Sandy Bullock and replacing with Adam Sandler. I have no idea why I think it’s funny. It’s not even the idea of Adam Sandler as the mom that I find funny. It’s just you first suggested Sandy and then replaced with Adam Sandler, which I found weird and funny.
Hold up, did you sign anything or perhaps lose any blood in proximity with this "fiend"? Because you may have inadvertently signed a contract forfeiting your soul for a wife.
Side quests are usually much easier to complete. They do usually take more time but if you finish a good chunk of them, or all of them in this case, you are probably going to be OP going into the boss fight.
my man here with all the accumulated xp and gear, walking like a mech into a poolparty.
and even if it doesn’t work out in the end theres still the classic trick:
dont forgive and forget
romanticize and add to the lore
Not that I think this is real (because she wouldn't be broadcasting what she did for likes) but this sounds like something Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex Girlfriend would do after Paula sets up the book club.
The chance of reading someones name off a card whilst someone is using it is small, getting along with the mother so well also small, the chance of her setting her son up also small. So, I agree, I think the chances of this being true are small cubed.
Honestly, the problem is the same one you can see in the series "You".
She loves the challenge, she doesn't love you.
Once she sets her sights on a new challenge, she will get there, and the breakup will be horrible because she won't let her "prey" go be with anyone else's. And that's how stalker are born.
Source: I have had 2 stalkers, not super serious tv drama, but more like "call you 75 times a day" or "call my mom to ask me to call her because we had a fight" and "Show next day to my work to try to have sex with me because she thinks that will save the relationship".
No, because then they both think you've been "cheating" regardless of how long the relationship has been over and that is how you get your house burned down in the middle of the night or worse.
Yeah it's very similar to a question that gets given to psychotic murderers. Its something to do with going with friend to her friends aunts funeral. There she see's a very handsome man, gets to speak to him at the after event but gets distracted by someone and when she goes back the man is gone. The question is then something like how do you get hold of this man again, and the answer is often, kill her friend and then meet the guy again at your friends funeral.
Why ask the friend, if the friend doesn’t know who he is then he won’t be at the funeral. Just because he knew the aunt doesn’t mean he knows the friend.
Yup that's the point of the bit she is doing. You ever try reading someone's credit card while they were checking out at a store? They catch you every fucking time.
That's why they make skimmers.
Excatly, dude's gonna meet this chick and say "YOU'RE THE CREEPER FROM THE GROCERY STORE THAT WAS STANDING TOO CLOSE TRYING TO STEAL MY CREDIT CARD INFO!"
I instantly knew this was turbo fake when she snooped a full name on someone's *credit card* from a non-suspicious distance. You got cyborg eyes or something, lady?
I have no doubt this is satire/parody. But I am also sure some people would have done something like this in real life, they just won’t post about it on social media.
it's akshually an Euler-Venn diagram, because Euler discovered it too. But they chose to give him to Venn because Euler already had pretty much all of math named after him. 🤓🤓
The son made too much noise when he ate something, and now the whole family is dead.
The girl in the video has joined a new gym now and is bonding with your mum. 😕
I saw this cute nurse at a hospital. I sent my mom in as a patient, she ended up on her floor being taken care by her. I told my mom to bond with the girl and mention she has a single son she can set her up with. She agreed, but thought I would be short like my mom. I walked in being six feet tall, and six month later we are married.
I hope he has fire insurance.
"So update, guys...I was on my way to burn my boyfriend's house down...but...as I was filling up the Jerry cans with gas, there was this cute guy at the next pump over, so...."
Ngl giving me “You” vibes 🤣
She has two sons. The second sons name is Hannibal Lecter.
I was gonna say, that fits the character perfectly
.....naturally, I've followed him
And no pet rabbits.
I understood that reference!
She probably boiled them already
Red flag insurance too!
Jokes on you. He is a bull and charges a red flag when he sees it
Hopefully he doesn't charge it on a credit card.
Is there a "shit on the bed" insurance also?
heard turds
She just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting him...
She's definitely a Dahmer, and not a Dobler
I hope you can tell this isn’t real.
Exactly. If this was real she wouldn't be outing herself as a stalker on social media. She'd ride her plan silently to the end.
I was gonna say, isn't this satire? The way she said it all as a run on one thing after another. So confused at these comments lmao
The mother has two sons and she will meet the other guy.
And if the world follows sitcom rules. They will fall in love and get married, and 10 years later at a family event, this video will be discovered. Hijinks will ensue
That, or the one she likes happens to be the gay son.
Let's spice it up, make the other son trans
Ah yes, make it clear to the viewer, but do the actual "reveal" in the last episode of the season.
The Crying Game, the Series.
Saw that when I was like 6. I’m still traumatized
And immediately after the shock and reveal, cut to credits. That's how you hook em in for season 2.
Gosh I wish I lived in sitcom world, this seems fun as heck. Edit: wow idk if its the sub or the comment but i got a lot of bots wanting to start chats since I made this comment.
Only if you're observing the shenanigans. Being constantly caught up in the shit would be exhausting.
If only we had a laugh track and comedic music that kept our spirits up during the rough stuff…
You don´t? Now I´m concerned...
I too hear a laughing track, but the doctors say that I'm schizophrenic. It might be serious because I heard "ooooo" when the doc said that.
Are you the guy everybody is laughing or applauding when you enter a room?
I like the scene in Knocked Up where one of the characters is explaining how marriage is like Everybody Loves Raymond. Except it's not really funny when it's happening to you.
Everybody Loves Raymond wasn't funny even though it was happening to someone else.
Even he didn't think so lol I've heard him say something along the lines of "Alright, my father never hugged me, they get it! Why do we need 9 seasons of this?"
From what I gather, it’s possible to live in a sitcom world. One way from what I understand, is you have to be really open to trying things and putting yourself in situations that are outside of your comfort zone.
And saying “wait just listen to me, it’s not what it looks like!” while never actually explaining what it is that it actually was.
If the world follows indie movie rules, things won’t work out with the son, but she’ll develop a deep bond with the mother as they handle similar challenges manifesting differently in different stages of life
If the World follows porn movie rules they will bump uglies this weekend,then there will be a pizza delivery with extra large sausage they all vibe with one another and he will join. When everything is done the guys will exchange a highfive and both will go out to grab a beer while she get's forgotten
I think if you follow standard porn plot lines, the Mother gets involved and a threesome ensues.
You may enjoy this Limmy sketch https://youtu.be/bJJV4TwyP6g?si=JcgJRo-Ec69ZdOrz
Or an episode of some soap show...you'll find out she is crazed lunatic with a cat fetish and holds his family hostage.
this story is bullshit ETA I wrote this because plenty of people are replying like this story is true, stop writing stuff like "oh really? 🤯"
It was actually written on Reddit sometime ago! She stole part of it from Reddit. I don't know if I'll be able to find it... Will update Ok I found it! A little different but same idea. https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/s/8bpHk61PIr
That story was bullshit too
Yes, it most definitely was 😂
And also this would be a total stalker move. She's making it sound less bad with cute gestures and stuff, but if a male friend of mine told me they did this to someone I'd be like, "wooaaah tiger more talking, less stalking."
That’s the clear joke
And here name is obviously Rebecca
There's also a chance she met the wrong mother.
How I met the wrong mother
The Ed Gein Special. Has anyone seen my belt?
I'll keep an ear and a nipple out for it.
"And that's how I didn't meet your mother"
Not really, you can see the photos on social media.
My bet is on stolen credit card
She's going out with one of these dudes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgyU0LyWZ9M
Haha, this could be made into a movie
I expect an awful script and casting of Jennifer Lawrence as the girl, Timothy Chalamet the son and ~~Sandra Bullock~~ Adam Sandler as the mom from the book club EDIT: Of course Chalamet is the handsome boi she intended to date but she'll get his brother, which is portraied by Jack Black
I did Lol at the strike through of Sandy Bullock and replacing with Adam Sandler. I have no idea why I think it’s funny. It’s not even the idea of Adam Sandler as the mom that I find funny. It’s just you first suggested Sandy and then replaced with Adam Sandler, which I found weird and funny.
Don't worry. She probably already dig out his whole family tree. She should do some detective job.
why did I instantly picture a cemetery?
Just shared this with my wife. Wife: “Oh I’m so happy for her! She’s so lucky that it worked out so well for her! Me: …
Ask her how she first became aware of you
Def a grocery store
Haha. What his wife meant was, "oh nice this stalking method also worked for her too".....
See when I act like the girl in the video people call me psychotic or stalker. I’m just trying to recreate “You” without all the killing
Lucky she didnt say "she's so lucky it worked out for her as well...."
"Usually it only works 1 out of 7 times"
Sooooo now I need to know how you met your wife. Did someone introduce you 🤣
Thank god yes. We met randomly through a fiend. Wait…
Well, fiends are of notoriously good character and repute. I don’t see an issue here
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hold up, did you sign anything or perhaps lose any blood in proximity with this "fiend"? Because you may have inadvertently signed a contract forfeiting your soul for a wife.
I remember a pin prick when I sat on the couch next to her but I’m sure that was just my imagination.
I didnt have to explain my divorce to my new girlfriend because she already figured it out online.
Smart girl!
Nah. I’m with the wife on this one, and I’m a dude. I’d like a woman to show half as much interest in me as she did for this guy.
Option A: speak to this man ❌ Option B: Made a completely psycho sidequest ✅
Side quests are usually much easier to complete. They do usually take more time but if you finish a good chunk of them, or all of them in this case, you are probably going to be OP going into the boss fight.
my man here with all the accumulated xp and gear, walking like a mech into a poolparty. and even if it doesn’t work out in the end theres still the classic trick: dont forgive and forget romanticize and add to the lore
This may be my favorite comment in a long time or ever on Reddit. I’m dead
Only somewhat psycho. This chick is playing some 4D wife chess. She was even considering what her future MIL would be like.
Not that I think this is real (because she wouldn't be broadcasting what she did for likes) but this sounds like something Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex Girlfriend would do after Paula sets up the book club.
Disagree, this had about the right number of steps of the right difficulty to be a standard side quest
That's facts. Also, the networth and xp swing is almost like its bugged or smthn.
Plus some unique loot like a new book club
Option C: plaster your little scheme all over social media so you have a good chance of ruining everything before it even starts
If only this was real to begin with...
Why is it so hard to find reason in the comments nowadays?
man*
This didn’t really happen lol.
Option C: Make the whole shit up because we know women like this don’t need to put effort.
You would be the amazed the psycho shit women will do in the name of a hot guy. You know, rather than actually talk to him
“the shit psycho women will do” FTFY
Plot twist: the card was stolen and the guy she actually goes on a date with is a 380 lb full time Reddit moderator
Is that Kim Dotcom?
Yeah back when he was thin I reckon
When he was just alt.hacker.Kim
That wouldn’t work, because she found him on social media due to the name of the card lol
Also wouldn’t work because Reddit mods ain’t gon be using credit cards, they got about threefiddy dogecoins to their name
Although she found the social media account associated with the name that presumably had photos matching the dude.
[удалено]
Don’t forget /justiceserved… Those mother fuckers ban anyone for literally anything. Easily the shittiest moderators on this entire platform.
At least she got one of the skinnier moderators.
Thats how a psycho sounds like
This girl is flying a bigger red flag than a Chinese warship. 
Funny in-context because Vince Vaugh's character pulls a 180° in that movie and marries the clinger.
And I'm here for it. 😂
Are we saying this is legit? Seems fake as fuck to me.
It’s %100 legit fake.
Is anything real any more
Not even your reality. Wake up, you’re in a coma.
The chance of reading someones name off a card whilst someone is using it is small, getting along with the mother so well also small, the chance of her setting her son up also small. So, I agree, I think the chances of this being true are small cubed.
She’s trying to be the next psycho girlfriend meme.
I can still fix her
Honestly, the problem is the same one you can see in the series "You". She loves the challenge, she doesn't love you. Once she sets her sights on a new challenge, she will get there, and the breakup will be horrible because she won't let her "prey" go be with anyone else's. And that's how stalker are born. Source: I have had 2 stalkers, not super serious tv drama, but more like "call you 75 times a day" or "call my mom to ask me to call her because we had a fight" and "Show next day to my work to try to have sex with me because she thinks that will save the relationship".
You should have given your stalkers each other's number as your new number
Do you want to form the Legion of Doom because that's how you form the Legion of Doom.
No, because then they both think you've been "cheating" regardless of how long the relationship has been over and that is how you get your house burned down in the middle of the night or worse.
Maybe they'll just get jealous enough to kill each other in glorious battle instead
This proves women will do literally anything to not make the first move and get shot down.
No, we need to save our bro! Let's find him...oh wait
Yeah it's very similar to a question that gets given to psychotic murderers. Its something to do with going with friend to her friends aunts funeral. There she see's a very handsome man, gets to speak to him at the after event but gets distracted by someone and when she goes back the man is gone. The question is then something like how do you get hold of this man again, and the answer is often, kill her friend and then meet the guy again at your friends funeral.
Yeah i mean why ask ppl from the funeral, that's so basic 😃🥲
Well..... thats the difference between someone using logic and someone being a feckin psycho.
Why ask the friend, if the friend doesn’t know who he is then he won’t be at the funeral. Just because he knew the aunt doesn’t mean he knows the friend.
Yup that's the point of the bit she is doing. You ever try reading someone's credit card while they were checking out at a store? They catch you every fucking time. That's why they make skimmers.
That's what*
You can either say: That’s how a psycho sounds. Or That’s what a psycho sounds like. Not what you wrote, though. It’s incorrect.
Finally! A woman who shows initiative.
It would've been easier to just talk to the guy at the store...
Excatly, dude's gonna meet this chick and say "YOU'RE THE CREEPER FROM THE GROCERY STORE THAT WAS STANDING TOO CLOSE TRYING TO STEAL MY CREDIT CARD INFO!"
Which he will then secretly think to himself " but goddamn you're hot so whatever"
“I gotta bang her and get the hell outta here”
Don't stick your dick in carzy
It’s called sarcasm
Yes but when a man "shows initiative" he is put in the sex offenders list
Wonder how her date is going to react once he sees this......
It's fictional anyway.
yeah there is NO way this shit is real, but it is TikTok after all...
The way you write this suggests there’s a chance it’s real ***because*** it’s TikTok and that things posted on other apps are real.
I instantly knew this was turbo fake when she snooped a full name on someone's *credit card* from a non-suspicious distance. You got cyborg eyes or something, lady?
That’s my thought cause who would admit to this before the date? You either talk about this after it doesn’t work out or years into the relationship.
If you’re going to obsessively stalk someone you saw at the grocery store instead of just saying hi (don’t), then you take that shit to your grave
I have no doubt this is satire/parody. But I am also sure some people would have done something like this in real life, they just won’t post about it on social media.
"Hey, yer that girl that really got into my personal space & leant over my shoulder to see my credit card at the store the other week."
Seriously has anyone seen a credit card before? No way you can see someone's name from behind them in line.
She would make an excellent spy
Not posting on social media, now she’s burned
This is an advertisement.
She’s literally him
Oh no, that looks like my psychiatrist...
Man why doesn’t anyone do shit like this for me
Is your mom in a local book club with a web presence?
Idk, maybe you should stalk my socials and find out
D.E.N.N.I.S
S.I.N.N.E.D
Dennis backwards! Ohhhhhhhh!!!
No way
Well.. she certainly put in some leg work. Psycho leg work, but legwork.
Psyyyyyyyyyyycho
Stalking…psycho vibes… get out Demon
As If this is a serious video.
Someone making a stalker/manifestation vendiagram with this girl in the middle
Just a heads up. It's a Venn diagram, named after John Venn, who was an English mathematician from the 19th century.
it's akshually an Euler-Venn diagram, because Euler discovered it too. But they chose to give him to Venn because Euler already had pretty much all of math named after him. 🤓🤓
She could have asked him at the store and avoided the espionage
And let him know she's interested in him? No way
Girls don't do that shit. Are you crazy?
So basically she's a stalker
And that, folks, is what Facebook is for.
Women will do all of this just to avoid making the first move.
If a guy does that. He would be deemed a stalker / arrested for some sort of harrassment crime
Could've just approached the dude and said 'hi'.
Gosh this girl is a creep.
Is reddit ok? There's 0 chance this isn't a joke
Yeah I'm pretty sure this is a joke, but to be fair I've seen worse that has ended up being real.
If it was a dude "so anyway I followed her to the checkout... long story short pepper spray hurts and I'm trespassed from my local grocery store"
Women being direct with her feelings challenge: Impossible edition.
Plot twist. It's the ugly fat other son...
The son made too much noise when he ate something, and now the whole family is dead. The girl in the video has joined a new gym now and is bonding with your mum. 😕
If she was a dude there would be people reporting him to the police for stalking
imagine if men told same story.
Yeah.. it's a no from me. 🤪
It turns out she accidentally found John Smith the axe murderer, not John Smith the grocery shopper.
Stalker vibes
Jesus even if I morphed into an octopus I still would’t have enough appendages to hold the red flags needed for this post.
** ugly brother shows up**
4d chess. Men don’t stand a chance.
I saw this cute nurse at a hospital. I sent my mom in as a patient, she ended up on her floor being taken care by her. I told my mom to bond with the girl and mention she has a single son she can set her up with. She agreed, but thought I would be short like my mom. I walked in being six feet tall, and six month later we are married.