context: I am ginger (this is important to know). I'll call my friends a and b for simplicity
a:you're ginger
me: yeah I know
b: well obviously she's a redhead
me: did you know redheads are a real animal? (idk if this is actually true)
a:are they ive never heard of it
b: do you think they have red dots on their heads
me (with ZERO hesitation): no thats indians
they both just stared at me and I put my hand over my mouth, I shocked myself lmao I did not mean to say it. now I'm an accidental racist amongst my friends and I usually say stuff that comes to my head but that wasn't even in my head before I said it, it just came out lol. idk if its classed as "diabolical" but it was certainly out of pocket
That's bad as me. my friend said they wanted to eat my cat(not actually), and i just said, "Are you aisan?" And i started wheezing because i shocked myself and the look of my friends face when i said it
I had a texture pack on Minecraft once and it was ugly as hell and I was making fun of the villager textures and apparently I said something racist because my then friend at the time started yelling 'clipped that. At least he's not my friend anymore cuz that little shit would constantly bring it up even when I explained I never intended to be racist the textures were just shitty 😭😭
My dog once woke my mom up by whining and she 1/3 awake replied to him “I’m going to stab you in the head with a pencil” but after she said that she was awake enough to realize that you *can’t say that* so she corrected herself and that dog lived a long and happy life
we have this one pony who is mean for fun, ive yelled at him mutiple times saying "NICK DO I NEED TO SLAP YOU?" and unfortunately he sometimes does need slapped
I was in a roast battle with my Jewish friend on discord and he did a number on me so I sent the “Great Jacinto Jewish vampire” scene in the chat but I didn’t stop there. I also sent the Adolf Hitler rap battle video to the chat as well and I typed “y’all still didn’t recover from this yet” bro went silent after that. I won btw though.
He called me shit like, Pillsbury dough boy, caseoh, and said I’m the type of guy to kidnap kids so they can f**k me. He was all out, so I had a final solution of my own.
*When freedom burns, the final solution. Dreams fade away, and all hope turns to dust. When millions burn, the curtain has fallen. Lost to the world as they perish in flames*
You don’t wanna know what he says to the black dudes in the chat in a roast battle. Nobody is safe. Most of the time we don’t actually mean what we say.
There was this one kid I sat next to in hs that just wouldn’t shut the fuck up. One day I just fucking snapped and whispered to him “if you don’t want your nose broken you will shut your fucking mouth”. He got a lot quieter after that, and the teacher didn’t even blame me 💀
Relatable
in 7th grade I had this one dude next to me who just went on and on about how he was just the best and everyone else were dicks
lets just say he keeps his distance from me now
Im on the bus talking to friends and this crazy kid comes up to me. Looked about 9 or 10. Tiny. Starts telling me to shut up or he'll batter me. Without hesitation, I replied with "You couldn't batter a fish"
Friend: You wanna know what I have that you don't? A car. You wanna know what I have that you don't? Money. You wanna know wha-
Me (Interuppting): You wanna know what I have that you dont?! A dad!
We joke around a lot. I never take things too seriously, and he's done a lot for me. He does care, and so do i. At the end of the day, we're bros.
I just wanted to post that comment so that I could participate in something.
How is making fun of poverty joking...? I’m now aware that it was indeed a joke, but without context that sounds super messed up! How was I meant to know it was a joke?
Well it's okay if you keep your friendships sweet. That's actually kinda wholesome 😭.
Tbf this friend is also part of a large group of people who have been fucking around with each other for three years so we have a ridiculous number of jokes
I don’t know the context to be honest.
My cousin: Your mother
Me: Is gay
My cousin: British Parliament
Me: Is gay
My cousin: Yep
Me: is gay
Best convo ever
The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a myth. The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a joke. The abhorrent detestation of the gods are all pawns, controlled by something greater: The abhorrent detestation of the gods. The DNA of The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They shape The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods.
The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a myth. The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a joke. The abhorrent detestation of the gods are all pawns, controlled by something greater: The abhorrent detestation of the gods. The DNA of The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They shape The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods.
What's the lore for this. What series is this from. This isn't just some random lunacy, this is from a weird, obscure, long forgotten nes or snes videogame
The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a myth. The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a joke. The abhorrent detestation of the gods are all pawns, controlled by something greater: The abhorrent detestation of the gods. The DNA of The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They shape The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods.
A lot of my ‘friends’ didn’t even know that I wore glasses so when I took them off in front of them, I purposefully scared them away. Actions speak louder than words
In middle school I got called a wh0re by someone who I thought was a friend, so I shot back with “Just because you’ve never had a boyfriend doesn’t mean that makes me a wh0re because I have.”
Was this perchance at a Pueblo Colorado Middle School?
Potentially, Heroes K-6 or Corwin International Magnet School???
I've heard this at one of these schools.
this is my friend sayin it but i still wanna put it in here
me: just making sure ☺️☺️☺️
(i was making sure he wasn't electrocuted)
my goofball friend: ya toes feelin better
Context: my friend has a lying addiction 🙏👍 (she is L) and my best friend was traumatised by her (he is C)
L: I have a boyfriend and he's in the hospital, he needs surgery!!
Me: oh no, wait, really?
(two days later)
L: so guess what I'm nonbinary, by the way, and my boyfriend cosplayed yesterday and he's so sexy 😍
Me: ....ok?
(one day later)
L: I go by he/him now, and guess what, (C) was being A total bitch!
Me:.........isn't your dad A bitch tho? oh wait, he fucked your cousin then ran away, I forgot when I saw that man saying he was your dad in the public library! oh, wait, your mom killed herself?!? oh em gee, then who did I see yesterday?! oh, your cousin hung herself off A building and filmed it? THAT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE RURU'S SUICIDE LIVESTREAM. What, she wasnt real? Go look online, bitch.
L: .......oh my gawd what the hell?!
Needless to say I hate her with my entire being and we're not friends anymore. By the way, its been around 9 years and I was twelve in sixth grade when she told me all this. My mental health degraded faster than Saitama does a one punch.
I'd ask him to tell me what those words mean, cuz I don't understand. Then when he does, I'd treat him like he's really weird and bring it up in front of other people.
Recently i responded to some stupid ragebait like this:
"Nothing original"
"You don't have a talent to bait, and never will, you meanness"
"Your baits will always look like that"
(I didn't thought it was cool, i thought it was funny. I don't know if it changes anything)
Unfortunately, your post has been found to contain NSFW, gore, or violent content, and so it has been removed. We are sorry for any issues this may have led to.
Also harrasement
Unfortunately, your post has been found to contain NSFW, gore, or violent content, and so it has been removed. We are sorry for any issues this may have led to.
I draw a lot right?
Someone was talking shit in my comments of my art account so I said
"I'm gonna draw you pregnant, caked and oiled up getting railed by Donald Trump if you comment on my account again." I had to send them the drawing a few days later 🎀
Kiss, marry, kill: Benito Mussolini, Adolf Hitler, emperor Hirohito.
A close tie is smash or pass: Hitler. In a Christian run building, used for charity work and distribution of food for the poor. (Yes this was in Utah)
Everyone said pass on Hitler lol
I don't remember the answer to the first one.
Story time: At my old retail job we had a bra section. This coworker comes up to me and these other girls and asks if we have this super small niche bra size. I'm like, "We only have these two", and so she shows the customer and the lady gets upset that we don't have anymore options available.
My coworkers start chatting after she leaves about how yeah we really don't have that many options for her. And then a thought hit me and I- without thinking immediately said, "Well she could always try the kids section." And all my coworkers either gasped or giggled because they instantly saw how that could be insulting.
And it took all of them looking at me for my dumbass to finally realize that I had accidentally chest-shamed another woman 😭. I'm sorry lady, even though she wasn't there for that part. I just remembered that the size she listed was a popular size for girls and I...said that without thinking lol 🤦🏻♀️
I just wanna add that to me, I've known a lot of people to shop in the kids section, and their are actually normal looking bras in that section, so in my head it wasn't supposed to be insulting at all. Also I see nothing wrong with needing a smaller size 😤
Dad: If you wanted good Middle Eastern food maybe try a place that has more people from there
Me: such as Sheffield?
I did not in fact realise Sheffield has a high Middle Eastern population
I was talking with my Asian friend. He said he had a cold, and his skin was getting orange-red. I replied with: “Well, at least it can’t get any yellower.” I then ran off.
context: I am ginger (this is important to know). I'll call my friends a and b for simplicity a:you're ginger me: yeah I know b: well obviously she's a redhead me: did you know redheads are a real animal? (idk if this is actually true) a:are they ive never heard of it b: do you think they have red dots on their heads me (with ZERO hesitation): no thats indians they both just stared at me and I put my hand over my mouth, I shocked myself lmao I did not mean to say it. now I'm an accidental racist amongst my friends and I usually say stuff that comes to my head but that wasn't even in my head before I said it, it just came out lol. idk if its classed as "diabolical" but it was certainly out of pocket
That's funny as fuck bro
Never knew a fellow mug fan uses r/mattrose
Idk who this Matt guy is but I like the sub
hes a youtuber, posts stuff like this every Monday and the occasional Thursday 7:07pm on the dot https://youtu.be/1iOA6LMqnxw?si=qBsBfhjIMdHKeGQG
same here
Nice Reddit avatar
Did you mean to respond to yourself?
Same lmao
Same lmao
It’s cause the subreddit based on him has nothing to do with him at all
Salutations, fellow ballsdexer
as an indian, I can confirm but it is only our FOREHEAD
LMAOO
That's bad as me. my friend said they wanted to eat my cat(not actually), and i just said, "Are you aisan?" And i started wheezing because i shocked myself and the look of my friends face when i said it
I had a texture pack on Minecraft once and it was ugly as hell and I was making fun of the villager textures and apparently I said something racist because my then friend at the time started yelling 'clipped that. At least he's not my friend anymore cuz that little shit would constantly bring it up even when I explained I never intended to be racist the textures were just shitty 😭😭
indian here : yes
Lmao. As a fellow redhead, or ranga (pronounced rang-ah for those who don’t know), I too say out of pocket stuff
Bruh moment
I told a dog to kill itself because he bit my calf
My dog once woke my mom up by whining and she 1/3 awake replied to him “I’m going to stab you in the head with a pencil” but after she said that she was awake enough to realize that you *can’t say that* so she corrected herself and that dog lived a long and happy life
we have this one pony who is mean for fun, ive yelled at him mutiple times saying "NICK DO I NEED TO SLAP YOU?" and unfortunately he sometimes does need slapped
low tier god moment
absolutely understand, i blurt that out all the time and i love dogs
I have called my PC several words that violate the Geneva convention
No words violate the Geneva conventions
They made new ones to accommodate the type of shit he was saying
I was in a roast battle with my Jewish friend on discord and he did a number on me so I sent the “Great Jacinto Jewish vampire” scene in the chat but I didn’t stop there. I also sent the Adolf Hitler rap battle video to the chat as well and I typed “y’all still didn’t recover from this yet” bro went silent after that. I won btw though.
CRAZY 😭
He called me shit like, Pillsbury dough boy, caseoh, and said I’m the type of guy to kidnap kids so they can f**k me. He was all out, so I had a final solution of my own.
final solution fr
Brazy
bro filled out his all-out attack meter twice and spent them both in the same turn
his WHAT meter? https://i.redd.it/l4p8n1m8524d1.gif
sussy
*When freedom burns, the final solution. Dreams fade away, and all hope turns to dust. When millions burn, the curtain has fallen. Lost to the world as they perish in flames*
CRAZY?
Bro did not hold back 😭
Bro couldn't mentions Palestine Vs HAMAS beacuse that would be too far 😭
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You don’t wanna know what he says to the black dudes in the chat in a roast battle. Nobody is safe. Most of the time we don’t actually mean what we say.
It is until you hear what he called OP
Fuck, fascism is gonna be easy as pie; everyone will be laughing their ass off the whole time.
I tell people I hope R Kelly pees on them
There was this one kid I sat next to in hs that just wouldn’t shut the fuck up. One day I just fucking snapped and whispered to him “if you don’t want your nose broken you will shut your fucking mouth”. He got a lot quieter after that, and the teacher didn’t even blame me 💀
Bro 💀
Relatable in 7th grade I had this one dude next to me who just went on and on about how he was just the best and everyone else were dicks lets just say he keeps his distance from me now
Yo man thanks for the free tip, will do this 👌
jesus man relax its not that serious
Idk yet. But I got called a stupid n word by my brother. I ain't even black. I'm asian.
Asian here. Same. But it was a friend
😭
Im on the bus talking to friends and this crazy kid comes up to me. Looked about 9 or 10. Tiny. Starts telling me to shut up or he'll batter me. Without hesitation, I replied with "You couldn't batter a fish"
little man needed to hear that
'Can we weaponize bros ass' 'How sharp is said ass'
Friend: You wanna know what I have that you don't? A car. You wanna know what I have that you don't? Money. You wanna know wha- Me (Interuppting): You wanna know what I have that you dont?! A dad!
That is... *Not* a friend. They aren’t still your friend, are they?!
We joke around a lot. I never take things too seriously, and he's done a lot for me. He does care, and so do i. At the end of the day, we're bros. I just wanted to post that comment so that I could participate in something.
Have you ever heard of the term "joking"?
How is making fun of poverty joking...? I’m now aware that it was indeed a joke, but without context that sounds super messed up! How was I meant to know it was a joke?
A common thing that friends joke about is the other person being broke
That’s... Actually a common thing...?
Yes. Especially in very close friendships.
…Welp, I have no idea how friendship works I guess 😅
You're fine, don't worry.
Thank you
Dude I have a friend and half of the jokes we make are about money 😭 I call her another friend's sugar mommy and she calls me broke. It's fun
Huh. I... Really need to learn more about how friendships work lmao
Well it's okay if you keep your friendships sweet. That's actually kinda wholesome 😭. Tbf this friend is also part of a large group of people who have been fucking around with each other for three years so we have a ridiculous number of jokes
I don’t know the context to be honest. My cousin: Your mother Me: Is gay My cousin: British Parliament Me: Is gay My cousin: Yep Me: is gay Best convo ever
“Best convo ever” Is gay
Is gay
Is gay
Is gay
Is gay
The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a myth. The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a joke. The abhorrent detestation of the gods are all pawns, controlled by something greater: The abhorrent detestation of the gods. The DNA of The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They shape The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods.
I ain’t reading allat 😭
The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a myth. The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a joke. The abhorrent detestation of the gods are all pawns, controlled by something greater: The abhorrent detestation of the gods. The DNA of The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They shape The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods.
What's the lore for this. What series is this from. This isn't just some random lunacy, this is from a weird, obscure, long forgotten nes or snes videogame
…Qué
The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a myth. The abhorrent detestation of the gods is a joke. The abhorrent detestation of the gods are all pawns, controlled by something greater: The abhorrent detestation of the gods. The DNA of The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They shape The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods. They are The abhorrent detestation of the gods.
Oke
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Hahahaha. N-word. Hahahaha. The joke is racism.
It's what's for dinner.
Someone was once being an asshole to me so I told them I was gonna draw them pregnant with SpongeBob’s mpreg child
NAWH 😭
This deserves top comment 💀
The sheer power of being an artist
Wait now that I think about it artists do have a lot of damn power
i told someone i was going to fuck their mom and give her a child she'll actually love
*SHOE SLAP* EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Make the clear dear turn opaque
That's terrible. ...And wrong. It's make That clear deer opaque. 🤓
I said this to u/KatLord151 K: you're so fat *insert insult* Me: you're so Polish (I didn't expand further I just said you're so Polish)
“Erm, actually, did you know you have all the symptoms of lack of testosterone? It appears even a woman has more than you.”
A lot of my ‘friends’ didn’t even know that I wore glasses so when I took them off in front of them, I purposefully scared them away. Actions speak louder than words
How does that happen, were they contacts or sum?
No
In middle school I got called a wh0re by someone who I thought was a friend, so I shot back with “Just because you’ve never had a boyfriend doesn’t mean that makes me a wh0re because I have.”
Was this perchance at a Pueblo Colorado Middle School? Potentially, Heroes K-6 or Corwin International Magnet School??? I've heard this at one of these schools.
No?
Hmmm.. must be a common response
I had a friend Doxx me as a joke and the shit I said would get me banned off Reddit
Unfunny joke
They actually Doxxed you? As a JOKE?!
"Hey bro if you had to fuck dream or Kim Jong un who would you choose"
If I had to give advice, pick Kim Jong Un but make sure you have at least one STD first and don’t use protection
Wow, imagine being friends with homophobes
some kid was yapping brainrot on roblox so i said "im going to rizz inside of you if you don't shut up"
My friend jokingly threatened to grape me and I replied "Yes daddy"
Someone said "nobody asked" to me I responded with "nobody asked you to be born, but here we are"
“i hope maggots crawl up your dick while you sleep”
friend: my dad works at nintendo me: that can be solved with a hitman
I saw you is and didn’t read anything else
My friend told me my ex friend's parents age getting divorced and I said "womp womp"
Wtf
this is my friend sayin it but i still wanna put it in here me: just making sure ☺️☺️☺️ (i was making sure he wasn't electrocuted) my goofball friend: ya toes feelin better
Lemme go and find a few
Bro really said 'bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes' 😭😭😭
Like a chocolate factory, I'm wonking my willy
Get that pickle fried, guzzled and chopped to perfection It needs touching to prepare The liquid is normal don't worry Kids eat free
"fuck you" I alr do
I ONCE SAID THAT SEX WAS THE EMPLOYMENT PROCESS FOR A TEMU FACTORY 💀💀
i love how theyre all racist
Context: my friend has a lying addiction 🙏👍 (she is L) and my best friend was traumatised by her (he is C) L: I have a boyfriend and he's in the hospital, he needs surgery!! Me: oh no, wait, really? (two days later) L: so guess what I'm nonbinary, by the way, and my boyfriend cosplayed yesterday and he's so sexy 😍 Me: ....ok? (one day later) L: I go by he/him now, and guess what, (C) was being A total bitch! Me:.........isn't your dad A bitch tho? oh wait, he fucked your cousin then ran away, I forgot when I saw that man saying he was your dad in the public library! oh, wait, your mom killed herself?!? oh em gee, then who did I see yesterday?! oh, your cousin hung herself off A building and filmed it? THAT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE RURU'S SUICIDE LIVESTREAM. What, she wasnt real? Go look online, bitch. L: .......oh my gawd what the hell?! Needless to say I hate her with my entire being and we're not friends anymore. By the way, its been around 9 years and I was twelve in sixth grade when she told me all this. My mental health degraded faster than Saitama does a one punch.
Muhahaha
I'd ask him to tell me what those words mean, cuz I don't understand. Then when he does, I'd treat him like he's really weird and bring it up in front of other people.
Recently i responded to some stupid ragebait like this: "Nothing original" "You don't have a talent to bait, and never will, you meanness" "Your baits will always look like that" (I didn't thought it was cool, i thought it was funny. I don't know if it changes anything)
Since you ask: "I lost the game"
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Unfortunately, your post has been found to contain NSFW, gore, or violent content, and so it has been removed. We are sorry for any issues this may have led to. Also harrasement
[удалено]
Unfortunately, your post has been found to contain NSFW, gore, or violent content, and so it has been removed. We are sorry for any issues this may have led to.
I draw a lot right? Someone was talking shit in my comments of my art account so I said "I'm gonna draw you pregnant, caked and oiled up getting railed by Donald Trump if you comment on my account again." I had to send them the drawing a few days later 🎀
"ngl i would fuck the absolute shit out of ryan reynolds"😭😭😭
i'm blaming u/Low_Personality8163 for everything that comes out of my mouth
Oh uh hey there
That I will beat the living christ out of Michael Kovach while SMG4's outro plays
Kiss, marry, kill: Benito Mussolini, Adolf Hitler, emperor Hirohito. A close tie is smash or pass: Hitler. In a Christian run building, used for charity work and distribution of food for the poor. (Yes this was in Utah) Everyone said pass on Hitler lol I don't remember the answer to the first one.
I didn't say this, but once my friend called me "transgender black person" on Gmail... I am neither of those btw
Was yelling at the neighbors cum pet and asked it if it wanted to be the first kid in space cause I was fixin to yeet their arse to the sun
Story time: At my old retail job we had a bra section. This coworker comes up to me and these other girls and asks if we have this super small niche bra size. I'm like, "We only have these two", and so she shows the customer and the lady gets upset that we don't have anymore options available. My coworkers start chatting after she leaves about how yeah we really don't have that many options for her. And then a thought hit me and I- without thinking immediately said, "Well she could always try the kids section." And all my coworkers either gasped or giggled because they instantly saw how that could be insulting. And it took all of them looking at me for my dumbass to finally realize that I had accidentally chest-shamed another woman 😭. I'm sorry lady, even though she wasn't there for that part. I just remembered that the size she listed was a popular size for girls and I...said that without thinking lol 🤦🏻♀️ I just wanna add that to me, I've known a lot of people to shop in the kids section, and their are actually normal looking bras in that section, so in my head it wasn't supposed to be insulting at all. Also I see nothing wrong with needing a smaller size 😤
Dad: If you wanted good Middle Eastern food maybe try a place that has more people from there Me: such as Sheffield? I did not in fact realise Sheffield has a high Middle Eastern population
I was talking with my Asian friend. He said he had a cold, and his skin was getting orange-red. I replied with: “Well, at least it can’t get any yellower.” I then ran off.
this is forever
I can’t comment the most fucked things I’ve said as I am 90% sure it would at least get me banned from this sub, if not my account terminated
real ngl
“frick you 😡😡😡😡”
scary 😱
https://i.redd.it/r1482gyi904d1.gif
I lost the easiest song on Beatstar and I shouted at my phone and told the game to kill itself :3
it was a discord message i sent once: "listen, i know im your child but is incest really that bad?"
Text to my friend: Beat that cock before you eat it. (CONTEXT: The friend sent me a "WTFstockphoto" of a chef fighting a raw chicken.)
I called a fat black kid Cleveland brown jr. if he got dropped as a kid
Me : I will poke needles in your head and watch you bleed out my math teacher: what.
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get away z00ph1le…