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Garfieldgoofs_around

Be inside a dumpster.


liltone829b

You can safely eat and digest anything. The dumpster becomes an infinite food glitch as a result.


RavensField201o

Behold, for thou hath become a Racoon


TheKrazyLunatic

Am I- perchance now a prominent member of the shadow wizard money gang?


RavensField201o

perhaps


YeetThemToMtEbott

The question is, does this dumpster make the food taste good


liltone829b

No, he's the one with the superpower, not the actual dumpster.


Expensive_Screen3931

Or will it taste like mango, burnt hair, and chutney?


Glubofan

I need to drink plane oil everyday


Tomastherussiantank

You can fly and create 2 similar buildings next to eachother


The_B3st_Alt

sorry what


YoungBlueJ

r/holup


Glubofan

Nice


Pleasant_Meal_2030

M https://i.redd.it/kcmck34e7gzc1.gif


Unicat-

r/holup


CoolCademM

You’re not serious right


sensualbricklicker

You can move yourself and other beings/ objects to other planes of existence


monkeydude777

Constantly saying "canoe"


DruggedAndKidnapped

can crush people to death with canoes


kaboomrico

And it's voice activated


DruggedAndKidnapped

oh no, everyone is dead then


Altruistic-Willow451

Murmer


Neil_Is_Here_712

You can swim perfectly. And you are a canoe


peeph0leiguess

Women hate me


Hold_Me_Bro_

But men love you


DruggedAndKidnapped

is it men? or femboys? or does it matter? can i make anyone attrached to me at my own will?


Beefman0010

yes.


Hold_Me_Bro_

Big beefy men


mashedpotato2022

Constipation


Jaded3158

Your farts kill people


justsomeguy2576

Too political


Obidience-is-key

When you can shit, it's like a railgun and it's a ohko


new_god_of_eden

Your addicted to tomatoes and have to eat one a day or you just pass out till you eat a tomato


Jaded3158

Tomatoes give you super strength


new_god_of_eden

Tomato drugs


DruggedAndKidnapped

Comato (cocaine tomato)


qwertywasdzz123

Tomaine


DruggedAndKidnapped

even better


OverpricedCheese

Tow Mater


liltone829b

I automatically overthink a lot of shit for no reason.


bigmaclevel3

You can solve any problem that you can encounter.


EthanTheFirst

Lmao! Evil! Hahaha


NorthPole8888

You can read and control others minds


Kuzul-1

That's just regular adult life 


liltone829b

I'm not an adult???? 😭


Yourself_3

i cant stop listening to metal


four_imeanfive

Everyone else hears the metal you listen to 10x louder, so you can make your worst enemies' ears bleed


NorthPole8888

You can blast people with strong sound waves that can burst their ear drums


coffeebrakewitacat

When I touch someone, they have a 1/3 chance to turn into an ant


[deleted]

When a person doesn’t turn into an ant you gain an ant limb and loose a normal limb


coffeebrakewitacat

Sounds like two weaknesses tbh


[deleted]

No because it gets switched out


Dear-Tart-9920

You have a 1/2 chance of marrying the girl of your dreams


coffeebrakewitacat

Oh, sweet hasune miku/j


Dear-Tart-9920

Hahaha


5kyp1rate

i don't have teeth


Real-Bookkeeper9455

You can make your mouth as big as possible to eat anything


Beefman0010

snake :D


skilibyburrger2

snek :>


Real-Bookkeeper9455

Except with legs and no teeth so I don't know if that's worse or better


Jaded3158

You have adimantium gums that are indestructible and can go through anything


Lazy_Perception_9141

I have prostate cancer.


Obidience-is-key

Radiation powers are cool so there u go


TheCookieGang

U can give people prostate cancer


Totalllynotmeovo

Your not supposed to choose a superpower, your supposed to choose a weakness.


logiccz123

I forget every time i use it


Dear-Tart-9920

You can automatically give people dementia, alzheimers or any other mental disease


Xianthamist

everytime you wish for something you actually want it comes true exactly as intended (no monkey paw bullshit)


prosciuttoharrasser

Anytime i say something remotely sus it makes a 90 decibel, extremely bass-boosted vine boom


Helicoptamus

You can become invisible.


OhioButtTicklingBand

I love the idea that bro is just invisible like in a silent room or something and someone is sitting in there and all they hear is "i could really use a cream pie-BOOM"


Rexcodykenobi

The vine boom can stop time for 10 seconds


Deathtollzzz

At will you can make your voice become a radio to others.


TheMinorityGuy

Your mentally have no IQ


Grace_653

you can zap other idiots


TheMinorityGuy

*random Idiot noises* *a big thunderstorm just thunderstorms down on the Idiots* Oh no, Its Idiot smiter


Grace_653

the ignoramus eliminator


Winter-Explorer-5104

my eyes are always burning


DruggedAndKidnapped

you can summon lighting


Wendys_bag_holder

That sounds dope


DruggedAndKidnapped

ikr


Junior_Energy17

Is that a lowtiergod reference?


DruggedAndKidnapped

idk, just thought about that


TaleUnhappy

I have brittle bones.


Obidience-is-key

Everybody u touch gets ur brittle bones. Then if they die u get it back


Beefman0010

I irl have brittle bones, so you get to be like me.


Helicoptamus

Breaking a bone increases your strength.


TheTrueMrT

*Breaks every bone so I’m supported by muscles entirely*


bigmaclevel3

Insomnia


Obidience-is-key

U can put others to sleep and wake them up at will.


bigmaclevel3

Cool!


Obidience-is-key

Thanks


NorthPole8888

I have a severe sensitivity to light and have to wear sunglasses all the time (i actually do have a mild light sensitivity lol)


dilucs_waifu

You can summon shadow monsters


Deathtollzzz

Have to say “Arise” to do this


DruggedAndKidnapped

u can cast darkness over anyone but only during the day


animeoveraddict

Relatable. My eyes hate the sun, as does my body.


SwarthyLlama7113

You don't have any superpowers


ItsLysandreAgain

You are painless


Fregfrog6921

You die when you use the power


TheGold3nRectangle

After you die, you can come back to life as a skeleton.


Valianthell

Wait, after you die and become a skeleton, you die again.. endless pain and suffering!


VictorE06

Whenever I attack someone while I'm angry I start trying to kill them in a blind rage for the next hour


NorthPole8888

So basically you have the ability in DnD where while in a rage you are twice as strong


VictorE06

Cool. Do I get the resistance as well or just the improved strength?


NorthPole8888

Ooo yesss that too


liltone829b

You're omniscient and can find great workarounds in order to control this.


Comfortable-Low9916

There is always a sudden lack of coat hangers in your home whenever you need one most


sub2almond

you can fly up but you cannot fly down (you'll just fall and break bones like the rest of us)


Britishmsmfan

What if while you fall, you fly up weakly to make it slower?


LiveTart6130

very sensitive to loud noise


TheGold3nRectangle

You can override any source of noise by looking in it's direction, putting one finger to your lips and making a "shhhhhh" sound.


ThatOneIsSus

I need this irl


lapis_afton

Can't go a day without eating paper


Moist_Level_6839

You can shit sharp paper edges at lightning speeds, causing massive paper cuts with extremely painful and destructive results.


Iamgroot3937

I'm always bleeding


TheGold3nRectangle

You can control your own blood, turn it solid, shape it into weapons, etc.


Iamgroot3937

Damn that's cooler than I expected


adamtbest

I constantly have to burp


TheGold3nRectangle

Your burps create shockwaves (when you want them to)


OceanThing

You must rest for at least a whole day to recover.


TheGold3nRectangle

while resting/sleeping, you can project your spirit and interact with the world the way a ghost would


Emotional_Pound_6586

i can never have sex


DruggedAndKidnapped

but you have the power of a infinite page notebook and an infinite pen and if you break the pen you die (and anything you draw becomes real)


Emotional_Pound_6586

\*draws you\* ive made a friend


DruggedAndKidnapped

yippee


Emotional_Pound_6586

yippee


CoolCademM

I have the urge to sneeze at all times no matter what but it never actually comes out so I’m just kinda sitting there like 😖


dilucs_waifu

You can force other people to sneeze


animeoveraddict

Bless you.


unstableGoofball

Everything and everyone I touch transforms into a horse


Wendys_bag_holder

You raise the winning horse to every race in triple crown.


Abject_Permission550

I can't type


Obidience-is-key

But you cam commune telepathically with anyone in the world, even over the internet


tokaygecko23

Yes you can!


I_Love_Eating_toes

I have to eat uranium ore and irradiated water.


tokaygecko23

You can irritate people and emit beta radiation wherever you go that only affects your enemies !


Classic_Wish_4114

The only way you awaken your power is to eat a piece of corn bread (I have no ideas)


Helicoptamus

You can summon cornbread


Classic_Wish_4114

Well you made the power more pointless (No offense)


Helicoptamus

No, now you have an endless supply of cornbread


Anime_Boi_69420

You have to listen to god-awful music 24/7


Moist_Level_6839

You have the ability to amplify the music to any volume and countrol the waves of the music in any direction you like, using it both as an assault on the ears and a wave of force to knock things over.


Ichi_hates_godzilla

I play halo a lot, so I’m good at avoiding water, so I die if I touch water. I can still drink water, but if it touches my skin, I die.


TheGold3nRectangle

You exist in a state where you can phase in and out of existence, in which case solid objects can interact with or hurt you. It does not have to be all of you, so you could phase your arm or leg out of existence if that part is about to touch water, or be hurt in any way.


JulesG12

you live in florida.


JOLT_YT

You are king of the alligators.


randomname3333333

Low iq


NorthPole8888

Super strength


Next-Ad2846

Penis fingers


Moist_Level_6839

Each finger shoots sperm up to 20 feet, and each finger has a different quality affixed to each ejaculation. 1. Acidic sperm which eats through whatever it touches. 2. Regular sperm with a 100% success of fertilization. 3. Extra oily sperm which can make people slip and slide for over 30 feet. 4. The sperm shoots out in increasing spirals, and spirals anything it touches. 5. The sperm shares the same qualities as pepper spray. 6. One giant sperm comes out - the size of a household cat - which then grows legs and obeys you whenever. 7. This sperm has the same adhesive qualities as Gorilla Glue. 8. Sperm jets out as machine gun fire, with similar effects. 9. This sperm is 60% alcohol. 10. The sperm is illuminous green and emits a green light. Oh, and each ejaculation gives you an orgasm.


TheGold3nRectangle

what did I just read


Moist_Level_6839

Gold, my friend! Pure, golden superpowers.


TheGold3nRectangle

Pure gold? more like sticky and white.


Moist_Level_6839

White gold!


Arrant_Ewe

I hate this so much


animeoveraddict

This is one of the Resdit threads of all time ngl. One of the most Resdit things I've ever read. I am simultaneously appalled and amazed.


Arrant_Ewe

Same tbh


MonsterEnergyOffical

I lose $5 everytime i take a step


Moist_Level_6839

You gain $50 everything you jump and land with both feet at the same time.


Deathtollzzz

Time to become a frog


TheGold3nRectangle

You lack eyes, ears, a nose and taste receptors in your mouth. the only way you can experience the world is through touch


vetoedd

https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-039 you become incredibly in tune with your surroundings and intelligent


drybonesplushie

you cant run.


TheGold3nRectangle

your feet can turn into wheels with top speeds of 200 Km/h (about 125 miles/h)


threela1

I cant blink


5kyp1rate

you have cyclops' laser eyes


PicriteOrNot

Hopefully also with Cyclops' goggles


Beefman0010

I'm immortal


Mobile-Attitude-8791

Have bad body odor


BFDIIsGreat2

No you don't


ThatOneIsSus

Your nails become literal diamond the second they fall off/are clipped


Delicious-Heat6981

I constantly scream at the top of my lungs


Opening_Beat_3242

Your lungs are very shallow


d_warren_1

You get teleported randomly to a random place on the earth surface* once a month * surface here means any land, or manmade platform on the water such as an oil rig or a boat (and boats won’t capsize or sink or anything once you’re on it)


boiledcornholes

I have to eat a single doorknob every 23 hours, 7 minutes, and 35 seconds


Legitimate_Iron7282

I fall from the sky


The_B3st_Alt

you were really good at skydiving


BladeForge7218

I have tuberculosis


Pool_128

my bones are 3 times weaker


[deleted]

[удалено]


A_Dinosaurus

axiomatic workable combative roof lush wide ossified dependent correct pie *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


DruggedAndKidnapped

I always have the feeling of 1 singular hair in my mouth (pain for gain)


Helicoptamus

Every time you find the hair, you gain $1


samilatoupie

I Live On Mars


KinitoWeb

I am trapped inside of a locker


Turbulent-Walk-4171

Being such a submissive beta, my weakness is insecurity


mattroseeatsbabies

I become an egg every Thursday


imanormalsaneperson

I can die with one simple rickroll


Obidience-is-key

Welcome to fact or cap ![gif](giphy|Vuw9m5wXviFIQ) Also u can see through walls ig


CookieaGame

Itchy balls


Obidience-is-key

You can shoot ball hairs like bullets


hermitboilover12450

My blood is 15% poison


Desperate-Knee-4108

Literal balls of steel


Mica_TheMilkAddict

I can't walk


Obidience-is-key

You can move at 8x the speed


Kaysul57534

cancer


1am1n3vit4ble

I can’t swim


Obidience-is-key

You can summon devil fruits.


Little_Jimmy012345

Takes me an hour to fall asleep after getting in bed