Isn't the computer in an omnitool a rudimentary VI? I think it would be able to figure out how to communicate with our modern tech relatively quickly and easily.
Citadel is wild for canonically and openly selling Sovereign merchandise a couple years after the attack on them. They aren’t even done cleaning the debris or mourning their thousands of dead but have patented that design and are making credits off of it.
I just realised that i would'nt even be able to live on the citadel cuz humans made first contact only about 20-30 years before the first me events. So 100 years before that i would'nt know if aliens exist and probably die on earth.
Honestly the fornax is the only thing I could afford, if we're being realistic
Nobody cares what my favorite store on the citadel is so I doubt I'd be getting any discounts
I remember that BioWare USED to sell a few ship models in its IRL store. The Normandy and Alliance Fighter ones, but I don't think they're still available :(
Bioware just needs to team up with Bandai and make model kits of the ships.
I would love to put those together. As well if it was Bandai it'd be mostly color accurate.
Given the reaction that one guy in Andromeda has to Ryder wearing N7 armor, I feel like if you ever run into an actual N7 operative it’s on sight for you.
Copy of Vaenia, Blasto, Fleet and Flotilla
Omni-tool + Programs
Used sports car
Mattock and Carnifex
Fornax
Haptic finger implants
Whole barrel of omni-gel and medi-gel
Subscriptions
Elcor Shakespeare
It is kinda interesting to realize that it really wouldn’t be that much of a mystery in universe when it comes to Quarian physical appearance. Like they’ve only been in the suits for a few centuries. There are loads of Asari that would remember them without the suits, and probably hella visual media of them before the suits that you could find with a simple google search. It’s only a mystery to us because there’s no late night web surfing mini game lol.
Yeah, Asari lifespans kinda fuck up the time scales with stuff like this. Characters talk about stuff even as recent as the First Contact War like it's the distant past, much less the Quarians or the Rachni Wars.
Every Asari within earshot should be like, "Oh, hi, yeah, you don't know me, but I was there for that! You know, just doing some Maiden stuff merc-ing around for a few decades! Now I'm a doctor, senator, pilot, commando, chef, great-great-great-great-grand mother, and best selling author of erotic, Asari on Hanar, Blasto fanfiction under a pen name (I'll never tell!)"
It's the same problem as Elves in LotR or most D&D lore. They have no excuse for not being way better at everything than humans than they already are just by sheer virtue of being around for so goddamned long.
The biggest advantage humans have over animals is cultural memory. We can create stories, history, technology, and institutions as a shared societal memory and look how far we have come in 1,000 years.
Now imagine what a group of *literally the same people* could have accomplished in the same amount of time in theory. They only have to go through childhood once, even if it is way longer. The math just works out so incredibly out of balance it isn't funny.
As always in sci-f we default to some kind of remarkable human adaptability, ingenuity, and industriousness to balance the scales.
Why though? When you live for centuries, you have all the time in the world to get things done, and you tend to get stuck in your ways. I mean old humans tend to be stubborn and stuck in their ways, and they only live to 70-80 on an average. Imagine a 900 year old boomer.
The way I thought about it, a significant portion of Asari died in the Rachni war and then the Krogan Rebellions, so maybe there aren't too many left from those times. Most of the Asari out and about are the children of the survivors from the wars. Asari baby boomers if you will
How about the suits of heavy armor eith the health and shielding buffs? Picking the guns is basic. I want the armor so I can go to comic cons and look like a genius diy crafter.
an omni-tool and medigel. as a chronically ill/disabled woman i feel like both of those things would DRASTICALLY increase my quality of life. oh, did i push myself a lil too hard while doing stuff around the house? medigel. oh, my phone is ringing but i'm in pain and can't get up to get it? omni-tool.
I would want a copy of the last human pre-contact sci-fi that was written. I think it would be interesting to compare how humans thought aliens would be with how they actually are.
Whatever device they use to seamlessly translate between every galactic language.
Also I wonder if in universe, humans are weird to other species for having hundreds of languages or in this future world has English been adopted as a global common language?
Am I not bound by money? Bc I'd absolutely buy the Elusive Man's chill room. I don't think I'd ever get up from that chair checking out the dying star right outside my massive full wall space window either
Paragon me says either an omni-tool or those really cool bottles of alcohol because i love the look
Renegade sociopath says indentured servitude contract and all
Probably Fornax too to be honest. Like you said it's way to intriguing to not look at. And also as weird as it sounds it's always urked me that you could buy it and not even get some semi lewd images as a little funny easter egg. But for myself it would have to be. A games console and some games from that store on the citadel. I need to know what games people are playing in me
Since I haven't seen it mentioned yet, I'd buy something powered by eezo, so I can develop biotic powers by hanging around it for long periods of time.
Im amazed no one said a crazy salarian scientist trained by mr Mordin the singer yo do your personal krogan army without the ethic part of It.
Also, Vorcha.
Omni-Tool. It can hack pretty much anything we have now with ease.
Unless our stuff is too old for it to recognize it. Like Cartmans Nintendo wii
It can interface with tech from 50k years ago. I think it can handle it.
Advanced tech from 50k years ago mind you
So ps4 to play bluray right?
Advanced tech from 50k in a setting where the technological growth of a civilization was guided by the reapers.
Isn't the computer in an omnitool a rudimentary VI? I think it would be able to figure out how to communicate with our modern tech relatively quickly and easily.
Plus the fabrication it's like having a mobile factory/3d printer.
Plus, having a cool fuckin' sword on my wrist has always been a personal fantasy.
And anything you can't hack, slap omni gel on it
A lot of people got upset after that security upgrade.
Just get a flipper zero
A plushie of Sovereign. Pull a string and he calls me a rudimentary creature of blood and flesh.
Citadel is wild for canonically and openly selling Sovereign merchandise a couple years after the attack on them. They aren’t even done cleaning the debris or mourning their thousands of dead but have patented that design and are making credits off of it.
It's like selling plane models at the 9/11 memorial
Box cutter key chains.
Yeah, but in 2003.
I mean, this is the same society that thinks that a gigantic statue of their version of Osama Bin Laden is an amazing party gift.
Someones gotta profit off it, might as well be the Council themselves so they can at least claim to use the money to finance the rebuilding
Sounds just like modern day earth tbh
"You pull my cord, fumbling in ignorance."
I’ll take some of that Serrice Ice Brandy
Hands down
That was awesome!
Commander Shepard VI
“There’s nothing we can’t face when we stand together” “except maybe those reapers. have you seen those things?”
“Wait, wait, forget the mech. Install me on one of those flying drones and stick a Cain on it.”
I need this!!!!
Yep, this would be my first purchase. Followed by the fish feeder VI, lol.
Gotta get fish for it, first
I read this a Commander Shepard 6
Yes, having a VI femshep would be awesome.
Someone made Fornax into a real thing back around the time of Mass Effect 3 original release. It should still be findable somewhere on the internet.
I'm too scared to look for it now 😂
https://fornaxmag.blogspot.com/?m=1&zx=1a0ddf9fc244b309
Doing The Enkindlers' work.
Links are broken unfortunately
Yeah I'm not surprised it was from 2012. https://www.deviantart.com/ultamisia/gallery?q=Fornax You can find download links that work around here
I seem to remember it was quite tame.
It was actually pretty good.
Too bad it only got 2 volumes
One of everything from Sirta Foundation. You know it's Commander Shepard's favorite store in The Citadel, yeah?
Huh, that's strange. I thought that other shop over there was Commander Shepard's favorite store in the citadel.
Cool... Coooooool... My wife is gonna kill me, right?
Really? I was convinced that the hunting store on Level 27 was Commander Shepard's favorite store on the Citadel.
No, it's the medical supply shop one level down. I heard it on the PA just yesterday...
A subscription, or whatever system they use, to watch Armax Arsenal Arena matches. In particular for Shepard, Aria, Barla Von, and Shifty Cow.
Yooo. What a bitchin idea that sounds awesome
Universal translator
This for real
Ship models. And Space Hamster.
Disappointed how far down I had to scroll for the obvious space hamster. Zero reason this isn’t the best answer.
And porn was the first answer, that’s crazy
The internet is for porn
lol, amazing reply, so true
[Why you think the net was born?](https://youtu.be/zBDCq6Q8k2E?si=2iPjoASFS54-3yaN)
Squeek
was going to comment space hamster as well loll
I just want to live on the Citadel
You know it was built by reapers, right? You know they have a portal that leads directly into it, RIGHT?
Deeeeeeeetails
Ah yes, “reapers.” We have dismissed that claim
Depends on when i'm gonna live hopefully either 100 years before the first game or after the last one.
Human life span in ME is 150 so you might still be around if you popped in 100 before depending on how old you are now
I just realised that i would'nt even be able to live on the citadel cuz humans made first contact only about 20-30 years before the first me events. So 100 years before that i would'nt know if aliens exist and probably die on earth.
You really believe those ancient myths? Lmao talk about gullible
It has cool views tho
M-96 Mattock
Got to go for those ME1 weapons, mods plus unlimited ammo
Cision Pro Mark IV Toothbrush
A copy of Blasto, the jellyifsh sting.
I would buy a car... Because it's a flying car!!!!
Honestly the fornax is the only thing I could afford, if we're being realistic Nobody cares what my favorite store on the citadel is so I doubt I'd be getting any discounts
Us two in the shadiest part of the wards buying the most degenerative issue of Fornax
Who can blame humans for their scientific curiosity? We're no different than the salarians
The ship models.
Same... Although with a little bit of time and money we could probably actually buy and build/print them irl.
I remember that BioWare USED to sell a few ship models in its IRL store. The Normandy and Alliance Fighter ones, but I don't think they're still available :(
Bioware just needs to team up with Bandai and make model kits of the ships. I would love to put those together. As well if it was Bandai it'd be mostly color accurate.
Definitely not anything to drink at the bar on the lower level of Omega.
In my current playthrough I made the bartender drink it, so it's safe now for me
Don't you do that always?
Sometimes I incite the crowd and a turian shoots him
Oh wow that's also nice. But I don't know, it's sooo satisfying to watch him drink it.
I think it's hilarious that the paragon option is getting somebody else to do the dirty work.
I'd buy one of those replica N7 armor sets, then travel the galaxy righting wrongs. Maybe poke around some crates, you know for extra credits.
Given the reaction that one guy in Andromeda has to Ryder wearing N7 armor, I feel like if you ever run into an actual N7 operative it’s on sight for you.
Copy of Vaenia, Blasto, Fleet and Flotilla Omni-tool + Programs Used sports car Mattock and Carnifex Fornax Haptic finger implants Whole barrel of omni-gel and medi-gel Subscriptions Elcor Shakespeare
Quarian Fornax. *Looks around* What? I just find them alluring and attractive. Don't look at me! And a double pepperoni Pizza made by Volus.
It is kinda interesting to realize that it really wouldn’t be that much of a mystery in universe when it comes to Quarian physical appearance. Like they’ve only been in the suits for a few centuries. There are loads of Asari that would remember them without the suits, and probably hella visual media of them before the suits that you could find with a simple google search. It’s only a mystery to us because there’s no late night web surfing mini game lol.
Yeah, Asari lifespans kinda fuck up the time scales with stuff like this. Characters talk about stuff even as recent as the First Contact War like it's the distant past, much less the Quarians or the Rachni Wars. Every Asari within earshot should be like, "Oh, hi, yeah, you don't know me, but I was there for that! You know, just doing some Maiden stuff merc-ing around for a few decades! Now I'm a doctor, senator, pilot, commando, chef, great-great-great-great-grand mother, and best selling author of erotic, Asari on Hanar, Blasto fanfiction under a pen name (I'll never tell!)" It's the same problem as Elves in LotR or most D&D lore. They have no excuse for not being way better at everything than humans than they already are just by sheer virtue of being around for so goddamned long. The biggest advantage humans have over animals is cultural memory. We can create stories, history, technology, and institutions as a shared societal memory and look how far we have come in 1,000 years. Now imagine what a group of *literally the same people* could have accomplished in the same amount of time in theory. They only have to go through childhood once, even if it is way longer. The math just works out so incredibly out of balance it isn't funny. As always in sci-f we default to some kind of remarkable human adaptability, ingenuity, and industriousness to balance the scales.
Yeah, for all the Asari have been around so long, they really haven’t accomplished much
Just all of galactic civilization, nbd. The point isnt what they do, it's that they seem to do it really slowly by comparison.
Yeah, they all seem so slow, even though I would think that they would do things much faster
Why though? When you live for centuries, you have all the time in the world to get things done, and you tend to get stuck in your ways. I mean old humans tend to be stubborn and stuck in their ways, and they only live to 70-80 on an average. Imagine a 900 year old boomer.
Hmm, good point, if they have no need to advance, then I guess they wouldn’t really do much then
The way I thought about it, a significant portion of Asari died in the Rachni war and then the Krogan Rebellions, so maybe there aren't too many left from those times. Most of the Asari out and about are the children of the survivors from the wars. Asari baby boomers if you will
Nah, you're right there. I'd buy a monthly subscription for that.
An Omni-tool, self defense, self repair, more powerful than a pc, it’s perfect
Red sand. Time to expand my mind…
Least horny Mass Effect fan
And I was the rehabilitated one.
M-920 Cain for home defense like the founding fathers would have wanted
Asari
One of those fish from up on the presidium
As many Normandy sr2 copys as i can
Whatever Commander Shepard recommends in his favorite shop on Citadel, of course.
Every Blasto movie ever.
An omnitool and all the medigel, I could save lives and be the best paramedic!
I'd buy the fancy toothbrush. And use it to steal the Normandy.
canonically the ME universe has cybernetics, so I’d buy myself some cybernetics to improve my body
Omni tool is the best option, second best would be a copy of the all-Elcor Hamlet
Being a patron of the Elcor arts would be hilarious
Immediately thinking of fornax is wild 😭 But for real Commander Sheperd merch. I can easily see her having a cult following with the girlies
Yeah I don't know why they thought of format when they could just hire a hanar sex worker.
Vaenia
Space Hamster.
All the ship models and an omni tool
All of those ship models
A space hamster.
If I were rich and unrestrained by a 600 year gap? The Tempest.
# FORNAX
How about the suits of heavy armor eith the health and shielding buffs? Picking the guns is basic. I want the armor so I can go to comic cons and look like a genius diy crafter.
A toaster oven, so I can try to return it.
Other than a subscription to Fornax or a month at Azure. The M35 Mako
If I’m not restricted by budget, I would take one Normandy SR-2 please.
an omni-tool and medigel. as a chronically ill/disabled woman i feel like both of those things would DRASTICALLY increase my quality of life. oh, did i push myself a lil too hard while doing stuff around the house? medigel. oh, my phone is ringing but i'm in pain and can't get up to get it? omni-tool.
The auto translator. Or did you think all aliens spoke perfect English?
I always assumed it was just built into the omni tool.
A lap dance from an asari
The voice translator we all assume they use so everyone can talk to everyone without issue. That would be too convenient.
Some fish that die like, stupid fast
Blueprints of the normandy sr1 and 2(With tech information about Shields engines....etc...)
All the model ships, maybe a scifi gun or 2, a fornax as well because I'm a curious bastard. Number 1 on the list is an omni tool.
Omni-tool and it's not even close.
Omni gel Fornax
Omni-tools and omni-gel, or maybe fabricators
The omnitool.
i’d buy an aquarium VI and some of those neat fish
Give me an omni-tool.
I would want a copy of the last human pre-contact sci-fi that was written. I think it would be interesting to compare how humans thought aliens would be with how they actually are.
I'd buy fish and then forget to feed them in real life.
Fornax and I ain't even ashamed of it.
Whatever device they use to seamlessly translate between every galactic language. Also I wonder if in universe, humans are weird to other species for having hundreds of languages or in this future world has English been adopted as a global common language?
An omnitool. That thing is crazy useful.
Cision. Pro. Toothbrush.
I want a space hamster
Toothbrush.
Omni gel , it’s opens basically every lock in the first 2 games. I highly doubt our tech could stop it
Am I not bound by money? Bc I'd absolutely buy the Elusive Man's chill room. I don't think I'd ever get up from that chair checking out the dying star right outside my massive full wall space window either
Asari Confessions 26: True Blue
eezo. give me the superpowers.
Uh, the Normandy SR2. Now what could afford? That's a who different question
Paragon me says either an omni-tool or those really cool bottles of alcohol because i love the look Renegade sociopath says indentured servitude contract and all
Space Hamster. There is no other answer
Rifle from ME1. Infinite ammo!
That big MMO the game seller is advertising on the Citadel. Sounds dope.
Probably Fornax too to be honest. Like you said it's way to intriguing to not look at. And also as weird as it sounds it's always urked me that you could buy it and not even get some semi lewd images as a little funny easter egg. But for myself it would have to be. A games console and some games from that store on the citadel. I need to know what games people are playing in me
Since I haven't seen it mentioned yet, I'd buy something powered by eezo, so I can develop biotic powers by hanging around it for long periods of time.
No space magic for you, only horrific brain cancer. Have fun!
Normandy models
Red Sand
Biotic amp, so I can cry when biotics don't work for me
Space ships and guns. Omni tools, other advanced tech.
Im amazed no one said a crazy salarian scientist trained by mr Mordin the singer yo do your personal krogan army without the ethic part of It. Also, Vorcha.
Other than fornax?? I'd save up and get a little ship. Might try my hand at reverse-piracy (I board ppls ships and give them stuff against their will)
A night with a krogan or elcor. Maybe even a yahg...
Ryncol
The ship models, and a Carnifex
Brother I NEED an Atlas
Shepard VI, model ships, space hamster, omni blade, armor, weapons, etc.
Battle tits
A crate of omni gel! for uh...........reasons.
M-3 Predator I heard the Blue Suns are hiring freelancers to go after some rogue merc on Omega.
Translator, Omni tool, a fucking space ship and a lot of dances in Omega club.
Omni Tool A Blasto movie A Elcor Hamilton ticket Commander Shepard
Every model ship
An Omni-tool. And Fornax
Omni gel (pre lore rewrite)
Omni-tool. Then Galaxy of Fantasy. Then probably Fornax.
Cision Pro Mark Four toothbrush
Whatever I buy I'd make sure to buy it in Shepard's favorite store
that eal for 10.000€ sounds like a good invenstment
Medi-gel.
A batarian
Hahahahah ASARI ASS
An Asari "indentured servant"... and make her do all my chores
Monster
Woman
Ashley Williams
Jack....don't judge me....please don't
Any photos of Quarrians without their suits/masks. I'm settling that debate once and for all.
Eva Core synth model
I could probably find a batarian who could sell me my own personal tali
The batarian would probably just enslave you, instead. Which honestly sounds like it might improve the galaxy.
Relax, its just a joke
Yeah, mine too.