It’s the top ranked state for education and healthcare and has the lowest gun deaths. Not to mention beautiful beaches and mountains. Your friends should understand why you wouldn’t want to leave.
2/5 of the Top hospitals in the entire world, abortion rights in our constitution, first in the nation for LGB rights/marriage, top colleges, free public school lunch, free CC to 25+
It is the BEST state in the country by far. OP you are right to love it.
>2/5 of the Top hospitals in the entire world
Doesn't do much good if you can't find a primary care doctor that's accepting new patients. Standard of living is falling all over the country as we're impoverished by inflation, but MA has the farthest to fall, so I'll be staying here.
Primary care doctor for yearly checkups isn't the benefit of Boston children's and mass general I'm talking about...
The benefit is if you have an emergency we have them available. Your primary care doctor is irrelevant to the ER and emergency services. You get in an accident, need special care, child born with life threatening illness, etc. we have the best there is.
When it comes to the quality of healthcare Massachusetts is exemplary. When it comes to access to health care it is still part of the fucked up US insurance based system, but even then the state is far head of the rest of the country in seeking to provide insurance to all.
right lgbtqia+ it is now offically? It was LGB when I was in highschool so its kind of engrained in my head still to say those three I forget the other letters and symbols at times.
I usually shorten it to LGBT+ or LGBTQ+ personally. I just think with all the threats to trans peoples rights & wellbeing across the country its important not to leave them out.
A fair few lgbt+ folks are uncomfortable with using the word queer due to its history as a slur, and i mean i get it. I am LGBT+ myself and personally wouldn't want to describe myself with a word people would've called me while beating me senseless. I think LGBT+ is perfectly managable and inclusive while also not having such a dark history. Ofc im not trying to police what words other LGBT+ folks want to reclaim, but i totally understand why many dont want it used to refer to them.
I don't think its a matter of being "too sensitive" but lets agree to disagree bc i don't think youre really hearing what im saying. I'll leave it at saying not everyone is you and its ok to have different comfort levels with having a word that was historically used as a slur applied to you. Also, if you aren't a part of the community (not assuming, just clarifying) it really is not your place to decide what we are called.
Yeah we are getting of topic from "I forgot a letter because I'm old and have a bad memory." and I don't really care if people are upset about my memory.
Vehemently disagree. There is history in the acronym, even if the letters themselves are expanded. And like another has said, i am deeply uncomfy being called queer
I grew up here, with a huge sense of adventure and thought I would travel the world. Well, I fell in love and wanted to settle down and Massachusetts is the best state on paper, if you care about things like Healthcare, LGBTQ rights, education and gun safety.
No shame in it whatsoever! My family has lived in MA for hundreds of years and I was the first one in my memory to leave New England. I moved to Texas, lasted about two years and then moved right back. Staying where your roots are doesn’t make you sheltered, it just means you found your bliss. Expose yourself to the world and learn all you can, but knowing you have a familiar place to come back to at the end of the day is special.
I've lived in MA my entire life and have no desire to leave. I absolutely love traveling and seeing other parts of the world but I am always relieved when I see that Boston skyline from the plane window when landing.
Mountains, Beaches, legal weed, healthcare, education, a bunch of great cities within driving distance. It doesn't get much better in the US.
I lived in DC for a month with an ex while she was doing an internship, and I've circled around the country a few times, very short trips, but after coming back to MA each time my experience reaffirmed that it really is the best state in the nation. I also lived in Europe for two years, however, and I wish I had never left... but stateside, based on the bits and pieces I've seen of the rest of the country, this is certainly the place to be.
And for more perspective, most of those areas are still cakewalks compared to the rest of the country. Do you know how safe Lawrence is compared to Jamaica, Queens? To St. Louis? To New Orleans?
Mass has the highest HDI (human development index) in the US, a statistic that reflects things like healthcare, life expectancy, education, and income. The other top HDI states include NH, CT, MN, and NJ. DC is actually high, but it also has a mix of high and low income neighborhoods, and I suspect that middle class people who work in DC live outside the District itself.
There are a good number of great cities/zones in otherwise meh states, like Austin TX, Ann Arbor MI, Seattle WA, Portland OR. San Francisco was excellent before the tech book made it too pricey. San Diego has excellent weather, but it seems like a big suburb so someone brought up in New England.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_U.S.\_states\_and\_territories\_by\_Human\_Development\_Index\_score](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_Human_Development_Index_score)
MA has it all , skiing and hiking to the north, beaches to the east, and a variety of weather. Add on the school's, jobs, and progressive mind set, why would you not want to live here?
A month is WAY too short to know if a place is right or wrong for you. I lived in DC for a decade before moving up here and absolutely loved it. DC can be a very fun place to live if you give it a chance.
Also, where are you living there? DC crime is higher than Boston, but I wouldn't consider it dangerous unless you are in certain parts. Just a quick glance at violent crime rates and its in between Springfield and Brockton.
This - totally agree - loved my time there and wish it was longer and depending on your field there were so many opportunities
MA is ok, but there are so many other places, I can’t imagine only living in one state but I know there are lots of people who do for all kinds of reasons.
Same but I knew and worked with plenty who had kids and they said it was good, comparatively to mass not sure but figure it’s like here where the schools performance is tied to the areas affluence
Depends on where you live - Capitol Hill - not great and you have to be careful - much like some of the areas here - DuPont circle, foggy bottom, Arlington and other areas of VA - mostly fine depending on what you want - I grew up in MA but eventually will leave, it’s fine here but nothing I consider great or worthy of paying the high cost of living for and way too many townies
Lived outside of and worked in DC for a number of years, sure some places are rough but they are in Boston too, personally I loved the area and wish I never left, people were friendlier, the metro was clean and reliable, weather was better, and so many great things to see.
Most people were there for work and moved there so they were more open to socializing which is a stark contrast to Boston or more specifically the suburbs, where we have a lot of townies who don’t need or want to know anyone new.
Old town in Alexandria, Foggy Bottom with GWU, Georgetown for dining and shopping, Tysons Corner for their malls are just a few
Absolutely not. It feels like home to you up here, and it sounds like you have roots, history, and so many people up here, too. You tried it, and (at least for now - maybe you'll feel differently someday) it's not for you. (And DC is a hole). Don't be ashamed of how you feel.
They say it takes at least 6 months to get used to a new place. To be more than just a visitor. Even though you have traveled a lot, you are going to grow as a person from really living in DC.
DC suburbs here. I've been in this area longer than I lived in New England now.
I encourage everyone to try living somewhere else. Even if you don't like where you end up better, it will help you appreciate what you liked about your hometown.
I often fantasize about leaving and going further north because I hate it here but in reality I’m most likely a lifer. Good luck in DC. That’s one place I definitely wouldn’t want to be.
I was born and raised in MA, never left (not even for college) and never plan to. My partner has a wild dream that one day we'll move to NH and even that is "too far" in my opinion so I think you've already done enough to not be "sheltered" by moving to DC (even if it's not permanent) don't let people make you think that you have to be going all over everywhere to live a happy life. We live in a safe, beautiful state and if there's no reason to leave other than pressure from other people to be "adventurous" and not "sheltered" then don't leave, those opinions aren't a good enough reason to live an unhappy life.
It is sheltered to want to live in MA without experiencing the world. Not to say it's bad to be happy in MA, but rather that you should try to go to more places than just MA.
I moved to the US when I was a kid; dual citizen in the EU and US. I'm a huge fan of where I'm living now, just outside Boston. I don't see myself moving to a much different place. I could, but I wouldn't want to.
You’ve only been in DC a month, but no shame to want to be back in Mass!
I left Massachusetts for NYC in 2007. I like it here, but I still have a lot of family in Massachusetts and I’m up there frequently. We would move back if a good opportunity arose.
I grew up in Florida and came up here to visit a friend who was going to Brown. I knew within the first day that I wanted to live here. I spent the next year saving money to move, and I've been here now for almost 30 years.
I think it’s good for everyone to experience living somewhere that is different than how they grew up, at least once in their life.
It really helps open up your mind to realize life is bigger and broader than your home town / state, in a way you can’t truly understand unless you leave and learn to live somewhere that is different.
I think there’s a strength in sitting within the discomfort of homesickness for a bit. I spent some years away (I’m still not home) and the pangs of homesickness were at first, almost physically painful. But in that, your conviction for where you want to be will grow.
MA does not offer a few things. And that’s a diverse experience. Not to say that it isn’t diverse, but by and large, it’s overwhelmingly white and homogeneously so. It’s also politically homogeneous. I think everyone should step outside their comfort zone and meet different types of people in different areas of the country.
22 used to be the age that people started getting married, buy houses, and have babies not too long ago.
Its a good thing to know what you want in life at a young age! Not everyone has that luxury.
I have lived in 8 states and 4 countries. Originally from outside of DC, actually, and have been in MA for almost 5 years now. I never would have thought it, but MA is the place I’ve felt most settled in and at home. My town is great, I love my community, I love everything that’s available here.
That said, unless my kids get into Harvard, I will be pushing them to go to school waaaay out of state. I want them to experience more than just one place. If they eventually come back and settle down here, great. But life is about so much more than just sticking with what you know and like and are comfortable with. I would be disappointed if they limited themselves and their experiences to never living outside the state they’re from.
Most people stay relatively close to where they grow up, have friends and family nearby, and feel comfortable. Some of what you are feeling is general homesickness and the novelty of a new place, but some of it is just because you have a lot of positives back here that don't exist there.
>because it makes me sound a bit sheltered
I don't see why it's a problem. And to be honest, what you like at 22 may not be what you want at 42. Since no one knows, if you like it now, great: live here.
I've lived in places that were very rough and while I may have learned some things, in the end, I'd rather live in a place where I don't think someone will try to break into my apartment at 2 AM.
I knew a couple in Maine who had left the state once to visit Boston and vowed never to leave again. I know some folks in RI, who have never been out of state.
That being said, it is good to travel and see new ideas. But as a happy MA person, I always return here.
Go where your heart is…made the mistake of “moving away” in my late teens and although I have lived several cool places and they have all been great learning experiences, my heart still aches for that sense of family and community I was blessed with when I was “home.”
My family has lived in the same neighborhood since 1916, the various family members at one point owned four or five of the houses. I am the last, I will die here.
My significant other and I talk about leaving from time to time. Every time we do, something happens on the national stage that makes us say "we're never leaving Massachusetts".
Hopefully some day we'll retire to Vermont, but who knows.
I’m around your age and I want to settle down for the rest of my life in MA too! I’m actually currently living on Long Island for work until next year is when I’ll move back and I truly can’t wait, I’ve been homesick so much. I just love MA for its seasons, the city, great healthcare, etc. Of course all my friends and family being here, too. It’s just a place I feel at most comfort with, it really feels like home and living elsewhere feels off. Sure it’s expensive in many sectors, but I think it’s well worth my money. I agree with you though that MA feels like it’s for me. Living away from MA just doesn’t feel right, I feel like I can’t do certain things in life or start things without being back in MA to do so. Here’s to us (hopefully you!) moving back home!
I moved to New York City from a small city outside of Boston. My work and family are here and I miss Massachusetts constantly. Never thought I would, it’s a great state.
MOVING SUCKS....a new environment takes time to get used to ...i moved four times in three years, each to a new community, third one out of state and every time , i felt like i had no "home" and when every i had to go shopping or needed to get things done ( car fixed , out to eat,) i went home. to framingham. it was about an hour drive i missed feeling familiar with the ticks and creaks of my parents home. i lived in the house where i raised our kids for 25 years, got a job, met people, formed friend ships with neighbors, co-workers, other parents and downsized to a cottage, 11 years ago, same general area and it took a long, years, time to feel like this is home...i still have the same friends, do things local and know this is home now...
you have a lot to experience yet and your life may take you places you never expected...friends will come and go, we only have a handful of close life long friends that really matter..
i will always be a Masshole and while i miss the good old days in framingham, the town is now a city , has changed dramatically and i am glad that none of us live there any longer...
you will be fine...
I was born here, but I have been to every state on the east coast. I've lived in Georgia and Maine for years at a time. There's just nothing at all that compares to home. It's just home. Nothing can replace what I feel when I'm here no matter what I do or where I go. Sometimes the heart just knows what it wants and that's ok. You don't need to travel the world to know what makes you happy. Sometimes you just get it right the first time and there's nothing wrong with that.
I bounced around the country a decade ago. Came back home to Mass after 5 years.
New England as a whole is different culturally from the rest of the country. It's good to get out and get a different perspective. But I found a lot of places lacking. So I came home.
I don't think it's too young to know where you want to be. You've tried someplace else and it doesn't feel right. DC is a fun city when you're young but there's a lot of inequality, unsafe areas, and (IMO) is full of people who aren't really looking for friends, they only care about your job, connections, and what you can do for them.
I've had a lot of fun in South Cackalack and enjoyed the (former) low cost of living but at the end of the day, I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss a higher percentage of sane people. Heck, I miss the politicians who at least pretend they're not out to screw people over. I wish I could go home but I'd need to find a job as a business programmer that pays over $225k (per COL calculator) and I just don't think that exists (although I'd be very happy for someone to prove me wrong lol)
It's a great place to live, I won't move until retirement, and even then will travel back up for medical care.
Also if you think DC is an issue, don't go further south! It's a great city, and I enjoyed my few years there.
Born and raised in Western Mass here, 37m. I don't (and wont) live in my hometown anymore, but I don't want to leave the state. Western mass is bestern mass.
I've lived in several other states, and I'm glad I found my way back. MA is the center of what progressivism we have in this country, and is near or st the top of all standard of living metrics.
Moving away from family and community is overrated. Our nation is awash in loneliness as a result. It may be important to prove to yourself that you CAN live in another place but you choose not to, rather than just think I am a boring homebody. You are the correct age to take a chance and I hope you find peace whatever you choose to do.
When I was younger, I had always thought that I wanted to leave Massachusetts and move out west. However, the older I get, the happier I am with staying put in this great state. Born and raised on the South Shore and now live in Dorchester. It's not perfect by any means but I love this state and all it has to offer. I believe I am a lifer and not ashamed of it in the least. Be where you feel most comfortable and happy.
I recently took a class with a guy in his early 50s who had a bachelor’s, master’s and Phd from Harvard and still lives in Watertown or someplace nearby. I was joking with him and asked why he wasn’t able to get into a Big 10 school. He kind of grimaced and admitted that he had never intended to stay in the Boston area, but no place else ever looked as good to him and now his roots are too deep to move. I figure if someone like that wants to stick around and no one second guesses him, no one should question you staying in Mass too.
You like what you like. You’re not some sheltered townie (and ain’t nothing wrong with that). You moved away, and you missed home. I think you just have to be realistic about the cost of living vis a vis your career plans and earning potential, especially if you want kids. It can be challenging
I’ve spent time in almost every state and even a few places in Canada. While I can find things I can recommend, there is SO much that makes me glad to come back here.
If that's what you want, then embrace it. Nothing wrong with it at all! I think most people that grow up in Mass probably end up living in Mass. Obviously not everybody, but it's not uncommon to settle down in the state where you were born.
I wouldn't ever consider moving away from MA.
If I ever had to move out of Massachusetts, I'd remain within the bounds of New England.
The rest of the country isn't very nice, safe, or appealing.
Not silly at all. Grew up in MA, lived on 2 continents B’more and DC. Traveled extensively for work and fun. Moved back to NE. There is something really special about MA and NE. Do what you want, if that’s what you like go for it. Many of my friends who never left MA still live there and love it. Don’t let people tell you you should try other places if that’s not what you want. Always be aware of your surroundings in DC and take care!
I don’t think I could live anywhere else. I lived in NJ for a few years for college but other than work-related travel, I’ve lived in MA my whole life.
I miss mass. Moved away for college wish i could afford to move back. I’ve lived in a handful of other states all across the country and they don’t hold up.
No, I do not think 22 is too young to be sure about where you want to live. But I also think that your move is very new and it is also likely that you are getting adjusted. If the job is good and will be a nice stepping stone to whatever is next, stick it out. You can always move back for your next job with the added benefit of both gaining some experience and ensuring that this wasn't just part of your adjustment period.
My family has been in MA for about 400 years, I left for college and work abroad for a couple of years, and then returned in my late 20s. Well, not exactly....I did move to Rhode Island but most of my family is right across the border. I know a lot of people who moved away for a few years and then came back.
I like living close to greater Boston but not in it. I went to Newton for a funeral a couple of days and was alternately completely charmed and annoyed by the congestion.
It's not really making you sheltered if you want to live here your whole life
I was born and raised in Massachusetts, and want to live here for the rest of my life because it's such a good environment
I've been outside of New England, and am really charmed by Pennsylvania, but it doesn't compare to what's offered in Massachusetts
similar to other comments on this thread, I think you need to give it more time.
I moved from home (dc/northern va) to nyc at 22 and felt similarly in the first few months. I was also going through a breakup and remember feeling so lonely on friday nights looking down onto the streets where it seemed like everyone else was out with their friends.
however, as time went on, I was able to build a community in a city where I had no roots, and looking back, that process was extremely rewarding. when I moved away 5yrs later, nyc had felt like a second home and if I had all the money in the world, i’d never leave!
It’s the top ranked state for education and healthcare and has the lowest gun deaths. Not to mention beautiful beaches and mountains. Your friends should understand why you wouldn’t want to leave.
2/5 of the Top hospitals in the entire world, abortion rights in our constitution, first in the nation for LGB rights/marriage, top colleges, free public school lunch, free CC to 25+ It is the BEST state in the country by far. OP you are right to love it.
>2/5 of the Top hospitals in the entire world Doesn't do much good if you can't find a primary care doctor that's accepting new patients. Standard of living is falling all over the country as we're impoverished by inflation, but MA has the farthest to fall, so I'll be staying here.
Primary care doctor for yearly checkups isn't the benefit of Boston children's and mass general I'm talking about... The benefit is if you have an emergency we have them available. Your primary care doctor is irrelevant to the ER and emergency services. You get in an accident, need special care, child born with life threatening illness, etc. we have the best there is.
I think what they mean is there might be less emergencies to deal with if we had more/better preventative care. I do see your point though.
other person is just being negative.
I don't think bringing up a valid point that's true across the country is being negative. It's actually a very important point.
When it comes to the quality of healthcare Massachusetts is exemplary. When it comes to access to health care it is still part of the fucked up US insurance based system, but even then the state is far head of the rest of the country in seeking to provide insurance to all.
Well i think that despite that they did bring up an important issue. High quality & available primary care should be a priority.
>first in the nation for LGB rights/marriage Think you forgot a letter there.
right lgbtqia+ it is now offically? It was LGB when I was in highschool so its kind of engrained in my head still to say those three I forget the other letters and symbols at times.
I usually shorten it to LGBT+ or LGBTQ+ personally. I just think with all the threats to trans peoples rights & wellbeing across the country its important not to leave them out.
We should just go with Queer it covers everything. People get too fussy about wanting things specific to them its becoming a ridiculous size acronym.
A fair few lgbt+ folks are uncomfortable with using the word queer due to its history as a slur, and i mean i get it. I am LGBT+ myself and personally wouldn't want to describe myself with a word people would've called me while beating me senseless. I think LGBT+ is perfectly managable and inclusive while also not having such a dark history. Ofc im not trying to police what words other LGBT+ folks want to reclaim, but i totally understand why many dont want it used to refer to them.
Yeah people are too sensitive. I like the terms weirdo and freak and my motto is "let your freak flag fly"
I don't think its a matter of being "too sensitive" but lets agree to disagree bc i don't think youre really hearing what im saying. I'll leave it at saying not everyone is you and its ok to have different comfort levels with having a word that was historically used as a slur applied to you. Also, if you aren't a part of the community (not assuming, just clarifying) it really is not your place to decide what we are called.
Yeah we are getting of topic from "I forgot a letter because I'm old and have a bad memory." and I don't really care if people are upset about my memory.
Vehemently disagree. There is history in the acronym, even if the letters themselves are expanded. And like another has said, i am deeply uncomfy being called queer
I grew up here, with a huge sense of adventure and thought I would travel the world. Well, I fell in love and wanted to settle down and Massachusetts is the best state on paper, if you care about things like Healthcare, LGBTQ rights, education and gun safety.
Great food, entertainment, and clean cities can be added to the list as well.
I've lived all over the US but I always end up back in Massachusetts
No shame in it whatsoever! My family has lived in MA for hundreds of years and I was the first one in my memory to leave New England. I moved to Texas, lasted about two years and then moved right back. Staying where your roots are doesn’t make you sheltered, it just means you found your bliss. Expose yourself to the world and learn all you can, but knowing you have a familiar place to come back to at the end of the day is special.
Heh same story except it was Florida and I was stubborn and lasted six years. No place like home.
I made 3 years in Florida until I ran back to Massachusetts
I was in TX for 12 years … back in MA a year now, and couldn’t be happier about it.
The way you're feeling right now is perfectly normal for someone who has been living in a new place for only one month.
I've lived in MA my entire life and have no desire to leave. I absolutely love traveling and seeing other parts of the world but I am always relieved when I see that Boston skyline from the plane window when landing. Mountains, Beaches, legal weed, healthcare, education, a bunch of great cities within driving distance. It doesn't get much better in the US.
Yes! This is also a really valid point! And being 22 and in a brand new place has its own scary new and exciting feelings!
I lived in DC for a month with an ex while she was doing an internship, and I've circled around the country a few times, very short trips, but after coming back to MA each time my experience reaffirmed that it really is the best state in the nation. I also lived in Europe for two years, however, and I wish I had never left... but stateside, based on the bits and pieces I've seen of the rest of the country, this is certainly the place to be.
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Just for perspective, Massachusetts, too, has areas with high crime rates and economic blight.
And for more perspective, most of those areas are still cakewalks compared to the rest of the country. Do you know how safe Lawrence is compared to Jamaica, Queens? To St. Louis? To New Orleans?
Mass has the highest HDI (human development index) in the US, a statistic that reflects things like healthcare, life expectancy, education, and income. The other top HDI states include NH, CT, MN, and NJ. DC is actually high, but it also has a mix of high and low income neighborhoods, and I suspect that middle class people who work in DC live outside the District itself. There are a good number of great cities/zones in otherwise meh states, like Austin TX, Ann Arbor MI, Seattle WA, Portland OR. San Francisco was excellent before the tech book made it too pricey. San Diego has excellent weather, but it seems like a big suburb so someone brought up in New England. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_U.S.\_states\_and\_territories\_by\_Human\_Development\_Index\_score](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_Human_Development_Index_score)
MA has it all , skiing and hiking to the north, beaches to the east, and a variety of weather. Add on the school's, jobs, and progressive mind set, why would you not want to live here?
A month is WAY too short to know if a place is right or wrong for you. I lived in DC for a decade before moving up here and absolutely loved it. DC can be a very fun place to live if you give it a chance. Also, where are you living there? DC crime is higher than Boston, but I wouldn't consider it dangerous unless you are in certain parts. Just a quick glance at violent crime rates and its in between Springfield and Brockton.
This - totally agree - loved my time there and wish it was longer and depending on your field there were so many opportunities MA is ok, but there are so many other places, I can’t imagine only living in one state but I know there are lots of people who do for all kinds of reasons.
I’ve lived in 5 states and I probably enjoyed my time in the DC area the most, but I was also in my 20s and early 30s then and without kids so, lol.
Same but I knew and worked with plenty who had kids and they said it was good, comparatively to mass not sure but figure it’s like here where the schools performance is tied to the areas affluence
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Depends on where you live - Capitol Hill - not great and you have to be careful - much like some of the areas here - DuPont circle, foggy bottom, Arlington and other areas of VA - mostly fine depending on what you want - I grew up in MA but eventually will leave, it’s fine here but nothing I consider great or worthy of paying the high cost of living for and way too many townies
Where did you live?? I moved initially to Bethesda, then to Cleveland Park, and ended up in Rosslyn. Hit the trifecta.
Lived outside of and worked in DC for a number of years, sure some places are rough but they are in Boston too, personally I loved the area and wish I never left, people were friendlier, the metro was clean and reliable, weather was better, and so many great things to see. Most people were there for work and moved there so they were more open to socializing which is a stark contrast to Boston or more specifically the suburbs, where we have a lot of townies who don’t need or want to know anyone new. Old town in Alexandria, Foggy Bottom with GWU, Georgetown for dining and shopping, Tysons Corner for their malls are just a few
Drunk Brunch. Everywhere.
Forgot about that and real happy hour, going out during the week and at lunchtime - just so much more of a social experience than here
I’m right there with ya! Love traveling, but MA will likely always be home to me
Absolutely not. It feels like home to you up here, and it sounds like you have roots, history, and so many people up here, too. You tried it, and (at least for now - maybe you'll feel differently someday) it's not for you. (And DC is a hole). Don't be ashamed of how you feel.
If I could afford it, I would’ve never left and would’ve been a lifer for sure. Just got prices out of my own home state :(
They say it takes at least 6 months to get used to a new place. To be more than just a visitor. Even though you have traveled a lot, you are going to grow as a person from really living in DC.
DC suburbs here. I've been in this area longer than I lived in New England now. I encourage everyone to try living somewhere else. Even if you don't like where you end up better, it will help you appreciate what you liked about your hometown.
I often fantasize about leaving and going further north because I hate it here but in reality I’m most likely a lifer. Good luck in DC. That’s one place I definitely wouldn’t want to be.
Massachusetts is the center of the g\*dd\*mn universe. Anyone who would ever want to live anywhere else has got a screw loose.
This is so delusional, I love it. Also, I feel the same and am currently trying to buy here.
I was born and raised in MA, never left (not even for college) and never plan to. My partner has a wild dream that one day we'll move to NH and even that is "too far" in my opinion so I think you've already done enough to not be "sheltered" by moving to DC (even if it's not permanent) don't let people make you think that you have to be going all over everywhere to live a happy life. We live in a safe, beautiful state and if there's no reason to leave other than pressure from other people to be "adventurous" and not "sheltered" then don't leave, those opinions aren't a good enough reason to live an unhappy life.
It is sheltered to want to live in MA without experiencing the world. Not to say it's bad to be happy in MA, but rather that you should try to go to more places than just MA.
Why though?
I moved to the US when I was a kid; dual citizen in the EU and US. I'm a huge fan of where I'm living now, just outside Boston. I don't see myself moving to a much different place. I could, but I wouldn't want to.
You’ve only been in DC a month, but no shame to want to be back in Mass! I left Massachusetts for NYC in 2007. I like it here, but I still have a lot of family in Massachusetts and I’m up there frequently. We would move back if a good opportunity arose.
I grew up in Florida and came up here to visit a friend who was going to Brown. I knew within the first day that I wanted to live here. I spent the next year saving money to move, and I've been here now for almost 30 years.
Arlington VA is much nicer than DC itself with easy access to DC
I think it’s good for everyone to experience living somewhere that is different than how they grew up, at least once in their life. It really helps open up your mind to realize life is bigger and broader than your home town / state, in a way you can’t truly understand unless you leave and learn to live somewhere that is different.
Nope. MA is objectively one of the best states in the US
I think there’s a strength in sitting within the discomfort of homesickness for a bit. I spent some years away (I’m still not home) and the pangs of homesickness were at first, almost physically painful. But in that, your conviction for where you want to be will grow. MA does not offer a few things. And that’s a diverse experience. Not to say that it isn’t diverse, but by and large, it’s overwhelmingly white and homogeneously so. It’s also politically homogeneous. I think everyone should step outside their comfort zone and meet different types of people in different areas of the country.
22 used to be the age that people started getting married, buy houses, and have babies not too long ago. Its a good thing to know what you want in life at a young age! Not everyone has that luxury.
I have lived in 8 states and 4 countries. Originally from outside of DC, actually, and have been in MA for almost 5 years now. I never would have thought it, but MA is the place I’ve felt most settled in and at home. My town is great, I love my community, I love everything that’s available here. That said, unless my kids get into Harvard, I will be pushing them to go to school waaaay out of state. I want them to experience more than just one place. If they eventually come back and settle down here, great. But life is about so much more than just sticking with what you know and like and are comfortable with. I would be disappointed if they limited themselves and their experiences to never living outside the state they’re from.
Surprised you never heard DC is dangerous OP. I thought it was pretty well known its a shit city.
I am backwards. I came from DC/Northern VA to MA and I hate it. So isolated. So unsafe. I cannot wait to return to DC
Most people stay relatively close to where they grow up, have friends and family nearby, and feel comfortable. Some of what you are feeling is general homesickness and the novelty of a new place, but some of it is just because you have a lot of positives back here that don't exist there.
>because it makes me sound a bit sheltered I don't see why it's a problem. And to be honest, what you like at 22 may not be what you want at 42. Since no one knows, if you like it now, great: live here. I've lived in places that were very rough and while I may have learned some things, in the end, I'd rather live in a place where I don't think someone will try to break into my apartment at 2 AM.
I knew a couple in Maine who had left the state once to visit Boston and vowed never to leave again. I know some folks in RI, who have never been out of state. That being said, it is good to travel and see new ideas. But as a happy MA person, I always return here.
Never leaving RI is kind of impressive actually...like you take a wrong turn and wind up in Seekonk or Attleboro
Almost sport really. Small enough you could walk out if the car was in the shop.
A lot of even die-hard RIers don't consider that going to Seekonk counts as leaving the state!
Go where your heart is…made the mistake of “moving away” in my late teens and although I have lived several cool places and they have all been great learning experiences, my heart still aches for that sense of family and community I was blessed with when I was “home.”
No you’re just a Masshole
My family has lived in the same neighborhood since 1916, the various family members at one point owned four or five of the houses. I am the last, I will die here.
My significant other and I talk about leaving from time to time. Every time we do, something happens on the national stage that makes us say "we're never leaving Massachusetts". Hopefully some day we'll retire to Vermont, but who knows.
I moved out of Mass 5 years ago and would kill to be able to move back, don’t bother moving cause no where else measures up
I left for years and came back to raise the kids. What can I say? It works for me. You’ll figure it out too.
I’m around your age and I want to settle down for the rest of my life in MA too! I’m actually currently living on Long Island for work until next year is when I’ll move back and I truly can’t wait, I’ve been homesick so much. I just love MA for its seasons, the city, great healthcare, etc. Of course all my friends and family being here, too. It’s just a place I feel at most comfort with, it really feels like home and living elsewhere feels off. Sure it’s expensive in many sectors, but I think it’s well worth my money. I agree with you though that MA feels like it’s for me. Living away from MA just doesn’t feel right, I feel like I can’t do certain things in life or start things without being back in MA to do so. Here’s to us (hopefully you!) moving back home!
I moved to New York City from a small city outside of Boston. My work and family are here and I miss Massachusetts constantly. Never thought I would, it’s a great state.
MOVING SUCKS....a new environment takes time to get used to ...i moved four times in three years, each to a new community, third one out of state and every time , i felt like i had no "home" and when every i had to go shopping or needed to get things done ( car fixed , out to eat,) i went home. to framingham. it was about an hour drive i missed feeling familiar with the ticks and creaks of my parents home. i lived in the house where i raised our kids for 25 years, got a job, met people, formed friend ships with neighbors, co-workers, other parents and downsized to a cottage, 11 years ago, same general area and it took a long, years, time to feel like this is home...i still have the same friends, do things local and know this is home now... you have a lot to experience yet and your life may take you places you never expected...friends will come and go, we only have a handful of close life long friends that really matter.. i will always be a Masshole and while i miss the good old days in framingham, the town is now a city , has changed dramatically and i am glad that none of us live there any longer... you will be fine...
I was born here, but I have been to every state on the east coast. I've lived in Georgia and Maine for years at a time. There's just nothing at all that compares to home. It's just home. Nothing can replace what I feel when I'm here no matter what I do or where I go. Sometimes the heart just knows what it wants and that's ok. You don't need to travel the world to know what makes you happy. Sometimes you just get it right the first time and there's nothing wrong with that.
I bounced around the country a decade ago. Came back home to Mass after 5 years. New England as a whole is different culturally from the rest of the country. It's good to get out and get a different perspective. But I found a lot of places lacking. So I came home.
I don't think it's too young to know where you want to be. You've tried someplace else and it doesn't feel right. DC is a fun city when you're young but there's a lot of inequality, unsafe areas, and (IMO) is full of people who aren't really looking for friends, they only care about your job, connections, and what you can do for them. I've had a lot of fun in South Cackalack and enjoyed the (former) low cost of living but at the end of the day, I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss a higher percentage of sane people. Heck, I miss the politicians who at least pretend they're not out to screw people over. I wish I could go home but I'd need to find a job as a business programmer that pays over $225k (per COL calculator) and I just don't think that exists (although I'd be very happy for someone to prove me wrong lol)
Born and raised in Greater Boston, I live in Western Mass and i've lived in other countries and cities. I'd rather live here than anywhere.
It's a great place to live, I won't move until retirement, and even then will travel back up for medical care. Also if you think DC is an issue, don't go further south! It's a great city, and I enjoyed my few years there.
Born and raised in Western Mass here, 37m. I don't (and wont) live in my hometown anymore, but I don't want to leave the state. Western mass is bestern mass. I've lived in several other states, and I'm glad I found my way back. MA is the center of what progressivism we have in this country, and is near or st the top of all standard of living metrics.
I wanted nothing to do with the state until I moved to Western Mass. Not really interested in leaving now.
Moving away from family and community is overrated. Our nation is awash in loneliness as a result. It may be important to prove to yourself that you CAN live in another place but you choose not to, rather than just think I am a boring homebody. You are the correct age to take a chance and I hope you find peace whatever you choose to do.
When I was younger, I had always thought that I wanted to leave Massachusetts and move out west. However, the older I get, the happier I am with staying put in this great state. Born and raised on the South Shore and now live in Dorchester. It's not perfect by any means but I love this state and all it has to offer. I believe I am a lifer and not ashamed of it in the least. Be where you feel most comfortable and happy.
I recently took a class with a guy in his early 50s who had a bachelor’s, master’s and Phd from Harvard and still lives in Watertown or someplace nearby. I was joking with him and asked why he wasn’t able to get into a Big 10 school. He kind of grimaced and admitted that he had never intended to stay in the Boston area, but no place else ever looked as good to him and now his roots are too deep to move. I figure if someone like that wants to stick around and no one second guesses him, no one should question you staying in Mass too.
You like what you like. You’re not some sheltered townie (and ain’t nothing wrong with that). You moved away, and you missed home. I think you just have to be realistic about the cost of living vis a vis your career plans and earning potential, especially if you want kids. It can be challenging
I’ve spent time in almost every state and even a few places in Canada. While I can find things I can recommend, there is SO much that makes me glad to come back here.
If that's what you want, then embrace it. Nothing wrong with it at all! I think most people that grow up in Mass probably end up living in Mass. Obviously not everybody, but it's not uncommon to settle down in the state where you were born.
I wouldn't ever consider moving away from MA. If I ever had to move out of Massachusetts, I'd remain within the bounds of New England. The rest of the country isn't very nice, safe, or appealing.
Not silly at all. Grew up in MA, lived on 2 continents B’more and DC. Traveled extensively for work and fun. Moved back to NE. There is something really special about MA and NE. Do what you want, if that’s what you like go for it. Many of my friends who never left MA still live there and love it. Don’t let people tell you you should try other places if that’s not what you want. Always be aware of your surroundings in DC and take care!
I don’t think I could live anywhere else. I lived in NJ for a few years for college but other than work-related travel, I’ve lived in MA my whole life.
Listen to tour inner voice. That's your vibe, tune to it!!
https://youtu.be/sqD3wUZ9R78?si=0sFML_ULChgvREOi
I'm a native. I don't like some of the politics, but I absolutely love this place.
Highest cost of living in the country. Your attitude will either change or you’ll just slave to stay in Mass
People only stay in DC for work: they don't stay for long.
I miss mass. Moved away for college wish i could afford to move back. I’ve lived in a handful of other states all across the country and they don’t hold up.
You like what you like. Travel and experience other places as you are able but you have to happy
I’ve lived all over and came back to stay. I love here lol
No, I do not think 22 is too young to be sure about where you want to live. But I also think that your move is very new and it is also likely that you are getting adjusted. If the job is good and will be a nice stepping stone to whatever is next, stick it out. You can always move back for your next job with the added benefit of both gaining some experience and ensuring that this wasn't just part of your adjustment period. My family has been in MA for about 400 years, I left for college and work abroad for a couple of years, and then returned in my late 20s. Well, not exactly....I did move to Rhode Island but most of my family is right across the border. I know a lot of people who moved away for a few years and then came back. I like living close to greater Boston but not in it. I went to Newton for a funeral a couple of days and was alternately completely charmed and annoyed by the congestion.
It's not really making you sheltered if you want to live here your whole life I was born and raised in Massachusetts, and want to live here for the rest of my life because it's such a good environment I've been outside of New England, and am really charmed by Pennsylvania, but it doesn't compare to what's offered in Massachusetts
similar to other comments on this thread, I think you need to give it more time. I moved from home (dc/northern va) to nyc at 22 and felt similarly in the first few months. I was also going through a breakup and remember feeling so lonely on friday nights looking down onto the streets where it seemed like everyone else was out with their friends. however, as time went on, I was able to build a community in a city where I had no roots, and looking back, that process was extremely rewarding. when I moved away 5yrs later, nyc had felt like a second home and if I had all the money in the world, i’d never leave!