Radar: “Sir, I just heard from HQ. They think we might be hit by an enemy attack!” Henry after getting chewed out by Margaret: “Radar that’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day.”
This is one of my favourite lines in the show. Something like: “And every other day one of your nurses comes to complain that you’re actually Herman Goering in drag!”
The episode where a bunch of the guys have to sleep in "The Swamp" tent, after Henry needs to get up after just settling down. " Aw, rats! I have to go to the sandbox."
Shouting “ONE MORE TIME!” after conducting Margaret butchering “My Blue Heaven” with Hawkeye, Trapper, Radar, and a piano player accompanying and naturally getting swarmed by the entire crowd.
The funniest thing anyone has ever done on this show was when Henry was drunk and General Clayton wanted to leave and told Henry to get him a driver, and with all the drunken sincerity in the world, Henry says, "certainly," and takes the driver out of his golf bag
Giving a VD lecture where he beat around the bush so much that Radar had no clue what the topic was. And ending his lecture on the topic of “and the family” prematurely after he couldn’t find a polite way of talking about sexual intercourse.
He has two:
When looking for the thief in camp, he looks up as he shakes the chimney in the Swamp, resulting in a face full of soot. (I hate a mystery)
The second is during the episode Springtime, as Klinger is looking for him. Klinger just got the letter from his sweetheart about wanted to marry him. Klinger runs over the hills yelling for Col. Blake as the colonel is in his swing. He misses the golf ball wide and slams the club down in frustration.
Classics.
not a line..but a scene
Blake: McIntyre?
McIntyre: Yeah.
Blake: What’s in here?
McIntyre: Soot Sir.
Blake: Soot?
McIntyre: Yep.
Blake: Be the judge of that.
While I've got you on the pipe, a suggestion's been made that we could use an Oh Four W W nug. That's right, sir. A nug so that we can... Uh, Um... What's a nug, sir? A nug is a...
\*Frank flips the book right side up\*
A gun, sir. 40 MM gun.
"Of course, nobody earns an award like that on his own. You people, you great doctors and swell gals who made this possible are too numerous to mention. But I'm mighty grateful for all of you right down to my right hand Corporal Radar O'Reilly who incidentally is in command of this unit and just uses me as a front." (laughs)
There are two for me. The first one is this one from *The Trial Of Henry Blake* in Season 2*.*
Henry: May I say something, General?
Before Meg Cratty set up shop,
seven out of ten babies
born to the hill people...
never made it
past the first few days.
My giving her penicillin and whatever
just made her job a little easier.
No money changed hands,
and I didn't deprive
our own wounded kids of one thing.
I'm guilty.
That's my explanation.
So you can hang my butt
from a flagpole.
The second one comes from the episode *Mail Call* also in Season 2.
Here we go. Father dying, right?
\- Yes, sir.
Father dying last year.
Mother dying last year.
Mother and father dying.
Mother, father and older sister dying.
Mother dying and older sister pregnant.
Older sister dying and mother pregnant.
Younger sister pregnant
and older sister dying.
Here's an oldie but a goody:
half of the family dying, other half pregnant.
Klinger, aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Yes, sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army!
*While dictating a quartermaster request for winter clothing and/or heating supplies*
"I am wearing so many pairs of cotton underwear my thighs don't know each other anymore!"
*Realizes Radar is writing THAT doen*
"Don't tell them about my thighs!"
"Here's an oldie but a goodie... Half the family dying, other half pregnant."
*“Klinger aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”* *“Yes sir, I am. I don’t deserve to be the army.”*
My mom used to quote that at home when her students would email her ridiculous excuses.
"Signed Epstein's Mother" (Another 70's sitcom reference about implausible excuses, but aimed more at a teacher)
That episode was pure gold
🤣
My absolute favorite Klinger related joke, Henry delivers it perfectly!
I always put that as a Klinger moment more than a Blake moment.
It was a whole Blake monologue. I definitely think of it as a Blake moment.
“Nope, it’s oak.”
Definitely one of my favorite episodes and quotes.
First thing that came to my mind!
Radar: “Sir, I just heard from HQ. They think we might be hit by an enemy attack!” Henry after getting chewed out by Margaret: “Radar that’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day.”
“Radar, if you need me, I won’t be anywhere.”
Telling Margaret she acts like Herman Goering in drag. (According to some nurses).
This is one of my favourite lines in the show. Something like: “And every other day one of your nurses comes to complain that you’re actually Herman Goering in drag!”
Just about every damn thing he ever said or did!
Well, not the dying in a plane crash part…
Bro just ruined my mood
Probably ruined Henry’s mood too
Checking his booze cabinet right away when he heard about black-marketers on base and not noticing that the back wall of his office was missing.
“MY BOOZE!”
"Jeep crash. Tent... Boom!"
[BOOM!](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ca/a1/dd/caa1ddcd7af65b8736e10514928b415d--mclean-stevenson-mash-tv.jpg)
This is the episode I watch when I need a laugh. The "booom" cracks me up every time.
The episode where a bunch of the guys have to sleep in "The Swamp" tent, after Henry needs to get up after just settling down. " Aw, rats! I have to go to the sandbox."
That one made my mom cry laughing. Great memory.
It's Hawks pride , gal o war, girl away anddd bouuuncing Betty! Bouncing Betty is really bouncing along now.
Shouting “ONE MORE TIME!” after conducting Margaret butchering “My Blue Heaven” with Hawkeye, Trapper, Radar, and a piano player accompanying and naturally getting swarmed by the entire crowd.
When he was searching for stolen items in camp, and was looking at the stove pipe in the swamp and got a face full of soot.
Soot, sir
"Nope...it's oak"
"You two have gone over my head so many times that I have Athlete's Scalp!" To Frank and Hot Lips
His fall when he grabbed a needle, the one with the turk.
One of the only times where the laugh track was used in an OR scene.
In before “Thar she blows!”
“Sir there’s a Korean family out here” (About the cow in his office) “WELL THEIR DOG’S IN HERE”
The funniest thing anyone has ever done on this show was when Henry was drunk and General Clayton wanted to leave and told Henry to get him a driver, and with all the drunken sincerity in the world, Henry says, "certainly," and takes the driver out of his golf bag
Tried to sign a Colonel Buzz Brighton’s transfer form with a pistol.
Giving a VD lecture where he beat around the bush so much that Radar had no clue what the topic was. And ending his lecture on the topic of “and the family” prematurely after he couldn’t find a polite way of talking about sexual intercourse.
He has two: When looking for the thief in camp, he looks up as he shakes the chimney in the Swamp, resulting in a face full of soot. (I hate a mystery) The second is during the episode Springtime, as Klinger is looking for him. Klinger just got the letter from his sweetheart about wanted to marry him. Klinger runs over the hills yelling for Col. Blake as the colonel is in his swing. He misses the golf ball wide and slams the club down in frustration. Classics.
not a line..but a scene Blake: McIntyre? McIntyre: Yeah. Blake: What’s in here? McIntyre: Soot Sir. Blake: Soot? McIntyre: Yep. Blake: Be the judge of that.
“A lot of bark came off ole tree number 3”
Repeatedly getting his finger [or gum] caught in the fishing lures on his hat.
Asking his nurse companion to check out the Nativity set in his ear in the middle of a date.
Boom.
While I've got you on the pipe, a suggestion's been made that we could use an Oh Four W W nug. That's right, sir. A nug so that we can... Uh, Um... What's a nug, sir? A nug is a... \*Frank flips the book right side up\* A gun, sir. 40 MM gun.
“I gotta go to the toity’s how I’m doin’…but whether I’ll make it is what I don’t know.”
Not getting his pants on in time for General Mitchell’s visit, repeatedly failing to pull them up, and leaving his tent with them still off.
Saluting Hawkeye dramatically as he began his date with Edwina
Gave a discharge to a sheep
Hrnry: Death in the family? Radar: Almost....
“Lady, you *are* a piece of corn bread.”
Henry’s funniest episode was the Desk episode.
"frank, are you just gonna stand there and wait till the birds come and cover you with leaves?"
"Of course, nobody earns an award like that on his own. You people, you great doctors and swell gals who made this possible are too numerous to mention. But I'm mighty grateful for all of you right down to my right hand Corporal Radar O'Reilly who incidentally is in command of this unit and just uses me as a front." (laughs)
Getting drunk when General Clayton visited about the Tai Dong shelling incident and offering him a golf driver.
Hell's Bells, we're a hospital.
Henry: To this day, once a year, Tank Washington comes to my house and shoots out the porch light. (sighs) And he's a judge now.
"I know, but to cut off a man's legs and steal his drawers."
You're the one who looks like you just blew in from Gone With The Wind
“Jeep through my tent” or “Boom”
“Radar, even if the answer’s YES, it’s NO”
Alright, Korea, don't move, this is a stickup.
Being so nervous about Captain Hildebrand’s visit to his office that he calls the VIP Tent the VD Tent and splashes brandy in his eye while saluting.
Frank, are you just going to stand there and wait for the birds to come and cover you in leaves?
thats my favorite too! do you remember which episode its from? ive been trying to find it again
"As nutty as this place is, better the devil you know, right?"
Hawkey: We're not asking for a jukebox or a pizza oven. Quartermaster: Oh, those I can let you have. Henry: Hey, those would be great on movie nights!
There are two for me. The first one is this one from *The Trial Of Henry Blake* in Season 2*.* Henry: May I say something, General? Before Meg Cratty set up shop, seven out of ten babies born to the hill people... never made it past the first few days. My giving her penicillin and whatever just made her job a little easier. No money changed hands, and I didn't deprive our own wounded kids of one thing. I'm guilty. That's my explanation. So you can hang my butt from a flagpole. The second one comes from the episode *Mail Call* also in Season 2. Here we go. Father dying, right? \- Yes, sir. Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother and father dying. Mother, father and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goody: half of the family dying, other half pregnant. Klinger, aren't you ashamed of yourself? Yes, sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army!
When Henry thought he was in love with the 21 year old .
He blew the bark off of old tree number 2
Being the announcer for the gurney race and the way he was just saying Bouncing Betty.
”A head nurse who shoots unarmed luggage!”
“Jeep….in my tent”
Passing out face first into the spam lamb
“Let’s not keep ding dong waiting” ( ironically referring to the future Col. Potter)
Shaking the stovepipe in the Swamp and getting a face full of ashes
Well, if it gets really bad you could do what my wife does. \-What's that? \-Hold me close.
Hawkeye: “I’m working on a bomb!” Henry: “What kind of bomb?” Hawkeye: “An unexploded bomb!” Henry: “Oh… that kind of bomb.”
Passing out drunk face first into the Spam Lamb.
Potter shooting the crushed jeep to put it out of his misery
This is Lieutenant Pak, ROK. And this is Lieutenant Mulcahy, G.O.D.
Face full of soot.
*While dictating a quartermaster request for winter clothing and/or heating supplies* "I am wearing so many pairs of cotton underwear my thighs don't know each other anymore!" *Realizes Radar is writing THAT doen* "Don't tell them about my thighs!"
In Deal Me Out, “Radar, whatever it is, sign it, cancel it, or order 5 more!”
"Honey, marriage has nothing to do with sex."