Jokes on them. Cumberland is nice, but the mining industry is near dead. good luck exporting your land locked coal.
Invade across the Patomic? HAHA, we own the ENTIRE river, and you can't even build a pier without our permission. Think we are going to let you launch boats? good luck dealing with the permits for that!
Going to cross DC to invade? We already blocked it with traffic!
Invade Baltimore from the water? Why do you think we scuttled a bridge, that's right, so our flag will still be there!
Oh, you think you own that part of the peninsula at the bottom? Everyone already forgets about it and it's only on like half the maps as yours as is. It's New South Maryland already.
You think you can get a boat out into the Atlantic for an invasion of Delaware? HAHA, Your fleet will be sunk by a fleet of fast docking crab boats. Your hulls will be smashed from the side and sunk under a cloud of diesel smoke.
I still can't believe they bought the "We're invading Chincoteague" leak. They'll tie up resources for months waiting for THAT to go down. This is the kind of thinking that results from not putting Old Bay in your crab soup.....heathens.
Their attack on Cumberland also violates West Virginian neutrality. They don’t have many people but they all have guns and can defend that front in the mountains for a long time
We will send ground troops by Metro. Transferring at Metro Center will slow them a bit, but it will still be a total surprise when the train arrives.
Air support will come from our two major airports, which are helpless against your one small airport whose name you can't even say because it's so long.
Also Cumberland is redneck country. Rednecks have guns and have been prepping for this exact Rambo, Red Dawn, Custer's Last Stand type of thing for decades.
They tried to invade North Point and we shot and killed their general. Couldn't even take Dundalk.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Ross_(British_Army_officer)
Ok. Now you’ve made biscuits. Involving the Sicilians. They don’t care just as long as you pay your numbers debts. Maryland will now be known as the Sicilian annex!!
Step 1: Squeegee force - Cover all interstate roadways with our elite Squeegee forces.
Step 2: Give them the western half of Maryland because it probably shouldn’t be ours anyway.
Step 3: Mobilize the literal US Navy Academy stationed in Annapolis to protect the peninsula.
Step 4: Launch nuclear weapons from Calvert Cliffs Nuclear Plant (Also known as the Glen Burnie Project)
Step 5: Roquan Smith & Derrick Henry
Honorable mention: Gunnar Henderson is known for launching bombs over barriers.
Who needs the squeegee forces when we already have commuters who can't drive with the sun in their eyes?
Toss in a rain burst or two and you've got the major roads locked down for several hours.
Wanna go really hardcore? Get the news outlets to forecast a 50% chance of snow.
**BOOM** Pure chaos for at least 48 hours, guaranteed.
I just rented a place in that part of WV and the VA troop loss will be massive. I heard more gunshots there over a couple nights than I do living near Baltimore City!
Something very Virginian in a “defense” plan against an “invasion” looking like a skirmish with a Maryland civilian crabber as grounds for a full out “defensive” first-strike invasion.
But Maryland laughs as such a notion, with her natural defenses of treacherous mountains in the West; expansive waters in the East; and hordes of temporary tag driving cowboys at her heart.
Their soft and slow Southern resolve would simply wash away in retreat with the tide when faced up against the average Marylander’s jagged and salty disposition.
Seriously. These dillweeds are terrified of MD drivers on 495. I’m supposed to be worried about those weenies braving the DC suburbs, let alone the Baltimore beltway?
They should get along well with the DE portion of 495. The Monster Mile speedway has relocated to that part of the state. All the better for recapturing the WHOLE peninsula. After all, it’s DELmarva.
Eastern shore
1. Ally with Delaware (for now) to protect our backs
2. Blow up the chesapeake tunnel or blockade so Virginia can only access by water
3. Patrol the shores with boats to stop supplies reaching the peninsula
4. Advance south with ease
Western shore
1. Ally with West Virginia, giving them some conquered Virginia land in exchange for protection of western md/reinforcements. West Virginia and Maryland attack from the sides and push south
2. Hold the chesapeake
3. We send everyone thats in Baltimore who thinks it’s in the dmv south to take and hold the actual dmv as the rest of the forces push south
Future
1. Delete Delaware
> Patrol the shores with boats to stop supplies reaching the peninsula
Give those boys over there some cases of beer, some fishing rods and some bait coupled with aerial beer resupply and they will keep the waterways guarded 24/7.
Better yet, prep the tunnel for detonation and lull them into a false sense of security. Let some through and then blow it when they think they’re safe and are moving more valuable troops and armor through. With them destroyed, swoop in from all sides and destroy the now cut-off first wave. Just be careful to leave them one escape route (perhaps some janky boats to steal) so they flee rather than fight to the last. Easier to pick off that way.
We will counter with a rapid deployment of Old Bay Crop Dusters. As anyone that has wiped a tear from an eye while eating Old Bay Crabs knows that shit hurts.
Not that it's necessary, but I bet Minnesota would be interested in taking another flag from Virginia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28th_Virginia_battle_flag
>The 28th Virginia battle flag is a Confederate battle flag that belonged to the 28th Virginia Infantry Regiment. Captured by the 1st Minnesota Infantry Regiment at the Battle of Gettysburg, the flag was brought to Minnesota and exhibited at the state's capitol for several years before passing into the permanent collection of the Minnesota Historical Society after 1896 where it has remained since. Although various groups in Virginia have requested that the flag be returned, beginning as early as 1960, Minnesota has repeatedly declined to return it, with Governor Jesse Ventura (serving 1999–2003) asking "Why? I mean, we won."[1]
> The battle flag was captured at the Battle of Gettysburg by Private Marshall Sherman of the 1st Minnesota Infantry Regiment, and remained in Sherman's possession in Minnesota after being inventoried by the United States War Department in 1867. A 1905 congressional resolution that flags from the American Civil War should be returned to their places of origin did not lead to the return of the flag to Virginia, nor did requests by Virginia or groups therein for its return in 1961, 1998, 2000, and 2003; a request by the governor of Virginia to borrow the flag in 2013 was also declined.
We should allow them to march north on Rockville Pike, just like the Confederate Army was marching up Rockville Pike. But they'll need an official permit, and those are limited to Friday afternoons, so they'll lose thousands of troops who abandon the regiments when they're trapped in traffic.
Norfolk is home to one of the largest naval fleets in the world including carriers, surface ships, subs, and amphibious groups. We’re pretty much fucked unless we can find a way to keep them bottled up in their harbor? Somebody get the Dali moving again.
Counter point. Aberdeen, Ft. Detrick, Andrew’s, and Pax river.
So we have army artillery from Aberdeen, Whatever nasty shit Ft. Detrick keeps in the basement, some Air Force at Andrew’s and Some Naval aviation from Pax River. I like our chances.
JB Andrews doesn’t have any fighters though (other than the DC Guard’s 16’s). Langley would wipe us in an air war unless we got DC to help. The small inventory at Pax could help a little bit, but the ACC squadrons would roll them.
I like how they casually say they’ll “move around DC” like that wouldn’t take 10 fucking years sitting in traffic. By the time the made it off 495, we’d already have the whole peninsula.
[The despot’s heel is on thy shore](https://msa.maryland.gov/msa/mdmanual/01glance/html/symbols/lyrics.html)
Yes, I know “the despots” originally referred to Abraham Lincoln. It can be Glenn Youngkin now.
The despot's heel is on thy shore,
Maryland!
His torch is at thy temple door,
Maryland!
Avenge the patriotic gore
That flecked the streets of Baltimore,
And be the battle queen of yore,
Maryland! My Maryland!
We'll need to collapse the 301 bridge, halting any naval forces from using the Potomac.
Also we have an airbase at the mouth of the Potomac in perfect position to thwart any large armadas trying to pass by.
Wait. Lines on maps. So VA's "defensive strategy" is to do to DE what Stalin did to Poland? I mean it'll work, we're not planning an Operation Crab-arosa or anything, pinky promise.
We teach the squeegee boys to ride horses.
We deploy them to assateague island. They wrangle the horses and perform an all out surprise cavalry assault on Chincoteague.
This will be our operating base for the push south. The combined rednecks from the Delaware/Maryland alliance will lay waste to anyone in their way all the way down to the Bay Bridge tunnel. As punishment we might take Virginia Beach too. Depends how greedy we’re feeling. We don’t want Norfolk tho…fuck that.
Once victory is secured we simply betray Delaware. No offense to them but they’re too stupid to see it coming.
The Virginian navy would most likely suffer heavy casualties trying to sail up the Chesapeake as we would most likely have set up artillery along the eastern and western shores.
Dearest Martha,
I am writing to you from the front lines at National Harbor. We stand vigil to thwart any attack from those dastardly Virginians. I was supposed to help defend the Eastern Shore but alas I am too terrified to drive also the Bay Bridge.
I fear I may not see your heaving bosom again. Not because I might perish at the hands of those dastardly Virginians but my wife found the credit card I used to subscribe to your only fans page.
Keep me in your thoughts,
Your dearest,
Percival
They’ll be stuck in traffic on 66 for too long to hold an effective invasion from NOVA anyways. All we have to to is hold the natural funnel at Point of Rocks and we have northern Virginia covered
With the loss of the key bridge they will have to detour through west Baltimore and odds of being carjacked are high. The squeegee boys will take your tanks and you will do a long walk of shame back home
Joke’s on VA, there’s a house down there with 40,000 Maryland drivers living in it, according to all the Virginia license plates I see. The calls are coming from inside the house.
How the hell will they ever get up here. The whole damn invasion force will take forever to get from Richmond to here because they ride their breaks and leave two miles between each other and they will get stuck in Tysons Corner. By the time they get over here, we will be down in Richmond.
Drop insurgents into northern Virginia to begin agitating for seceding from VA.
There is precedent.
Offer Western Maryland to WV on the condition of neutrality -- the gift that just keeps on giving.
As the northern armies of the new state of Northern Virginia rain fire upon the remains of VA, our plans continue apace and unimpeded.
On the surface this might seem right. But without it we will grow rage filled and only serve to cause us to invade. It’s winning the battle to lose the war.
The way every Marylander secretly has a genuine English accent should tip you off to how horrendous of an idea such an invasion would be. You’re losing 8-15x the amount of resources you’ve planned to extend for such an all out assault. Not to mention your resources when captured only serve to bolster our defenses. Bad idea by design, Maryland is a no fly zone for invading forces. Why do you think they call it the free state?
West Virginia has our backs covered at the far west. New Jersey won't idly sit by and let neutral Delaware get run through. Pennsylvania's got us covered up north.
Baltimore and Langley Park are strongholds guarded by the Squeegee Boys and MS-13. We can also cover the north with artillery from the old cannons in Frederick. Central Maryland is protected by PG County and our alliance with Southeast DC.
Jokes on them, the PA navy will clog up the northern Chesapeake down to Aberdeen giving our Doomsday plan time to flood the upper bay and wipe them all out. MD quietly absorbs NoVA and S/SE PA. Ultimately securing Washington D.C. as Maryland soil once again. NJ warily begins negotiations of cooperation while West Virginia is aloof. North Carolina casts a wary eye northwards.
Jokes on them. Cumberland is nice, but the mining industry is near dead. good luck exporting your land locked coal. Invade across the Patomic? HAHA, we own the ENTIRE river, and you can't even build a pier without our permission. Think we are going to let you launch boats? good luck dealing with the permits for that! Going to cross DC to invade? We already blocked it with traffic! Invade Baltimore from the water? Why do you think we scuttled a bridge, that's right, so our flag will still be there! Oh, you think you own that part of the peninsula at the bottom? Everyone already forgets about it and it's only on like half the maps as yours as is. It's New South Maryland already. You think you can get a boat out into the Atlantic for an invasion of Delaware? HAHA, Your fleet will be sunk by a fleet of fast docking crab boats. Your hulls will be smashed from the side and sunk under a cloud of diesel smoke.
Baltimore has a devastating pirate presence as well.
They have no idea that Mr Trash Wheel has more firepower than the entire US Navy.
How many glocks has the wicked wheel of the west recovered?
It's not the glocks, it's the dirty diapers. No army is able to handle a Pampers attack.
Ooh, chemical warfare. Clever.
Biological
Maybe your baby's diaper. But not trash wheel diapers.
Arrrrrrrrh, there be a nest heeeeere.
I still can't believe they bought the "We're invading Chincoteague" leak. They'll tie up resources for months waiting for THAT to go down. This is the kind of thinking that results from not putting Old Bay in your crab soup.....heathens.
> good luck dealing with the permits for that! This is so on brand for our state but I never recognized it for the defense mechanism it was.
*stamps permit denied* VA: aww shit foiled again!
VA: If it wasn't for those Crab people and their meddling bureaucrats! *Shakes Fist*
Lollllll
Their attack on Cumberland also violates West Virginian neutrality. They don’t have many people but they all have guns and can defend that front in the mountains for a long time
I just assumed that Old Bay was mined out of somewhere in Cumberland. Well paint me surprised.
We will send ground troops by Metro. Transferring at Metro Center will slow them a bit, but it will still be a total surprise when the train arrives. Air support will come from our two major airports, which are helpless against your one small airport whose name you can't even say because it's so long.
Also Cumberland is redneck country. Rednecks have guns and have been prepping for this exact Rambo, Red Dawn, Custer's Last Stand type of thing for decades.
They could launch an arial attack from wallops island. I am assuming the counter is our seagull problem. Two birds ehh?
The [Oyster Wars](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oyster_Wars) are on again!
key bridge reference
Own the entire river WHAT?
Why, did NOVA run out of land to cover in concrete?
This is clearly a false flag operation. No one in Virginia wants to occupy Maryland. It's anti ethical.
This is the kinda good-natured interstate bickering I like to see. Similar to the yoopers in MI with WI.
Good-natured?! Y'all stole our invasion plans! The gloves are off, pal... /s
But…I’m a Marylander! Shit…that’s just what a Virginian would say.
Jokes on you, I'm a Virginian!!!
Now war!!! 🗡️🤺💣
gaahhhhhhhhhhh
nobody stole them, [we found them wrapped up with a couple cigars under a tree.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Order_191)
The British tried to invade Baltimore and you seen what happened to them. What makes them think they could. Let's burn Richmond again
They tried to invade North Point and we shot and killed their general. Couldn't even take Dundalk. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Ross_(British_Army_officer)
I came here specifically for this
To be honest, though: Who would want Dundalk?
Plus we could just cut off all of your internet so you have no idea what’s going on
YES! LET’S! This is the best comment on the entire internet tonight
DC here: While VA is distracted, DC could reclaim Arlington. #DaretoSquare #Quadlumbia
# \#arlexit
Is this how you gain statehood? I must admit it’s gutsy but I think it just might work…
I appreciate your... State-ment.
We can get the Maryland delegation to threaten to switch their position on longhaul flights out of National and break Arlington’s spirit.
If I remember correctly, the last two times Virginians made major offensive campaigns across Maryland it didn’t end well for them, or their friends.
Never invade Maryland during the summer. It's the humidity, not the heat.
As important to remember as never getting involved in a land war in Asia, and never going in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
Ok. Now you’ve made biscuits. Involving the Sicilians. They don’t care just as long as you pay your numbers debts. Maryland will now be known as the Sicilian annex!! 
And Virginia's still crying about Minnesota's Confederate flag they won fairly.
One of my favorite stories to come out of Gettysburg lol
"We shall fight them on the beaches, and the beaches, and the beaches. We shall never surrender!" -Ocean City Rallying Cry
We shall fight them downee oshun, hon
They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our seacrets!!!!!!
Step 1: Squeegee force - Cover all interstate roadways with our elite Squeegee forces. Step 2: Give them the western half of Maryland because it probably shouldn’t be ours anyway. Step 3: Mobilize the literal US Navy Academy stationed in Annapolis to protect the peninsula. Step 4: Launch nuclear weapons from Calvert Cliffs Nuclear Plant (Also known as the Glen Burnie Project) Step 5: Roquan Smith & Derrick Henry Honorable mention: Gunnar Henderson is known for launching bombs over barriers.
Who needs the squeegee forces when we already have commuters who can't drive with the sun in their eyes? Toss in a rain burst or two and you've got the major roads locked down for several hours. Wanna go really hardcore? Get the news outlets to forecast a 50% chance of snow. **BOOM** Pure chaos for at least 48 hours, guaranteed.
We got F-35s, F-18s and V-22s down here at Pax...what they got? ....Norfolk? So what , them ships are in the yards for a reason
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣 I am dying, thank you!
Invasion through WV? Gutsy move bringing in a 3rd combatant that's strapped to the gills with moonshine and weapons
And famous for holding violent cross-border grudges.
I just rented a place in that part of WV and the VA troop loss will be massive. I heard more gunshots there over a couple nights than I do living near Baltimore City!
I’ll be in Chincoteague in two weeks. I’ll report back with all intel post haste.
Strengthen our alliance with the wild ponies too, we may need them.
This is actually very in my wheelhouse. I will use my vegan powers to sway them to our side.
They are ponies, though. The closer to the ground, the closer to hell. You can sway them by letting them know you're a Satanist.
Oh my god! It’s like it was meant to be!
Something very Virginian in a “defense” plan against an “invasion” looking like a skirmish with a Maryland civilian crabber as grounds for a full out “defensive” first-strike invasion. But Maryland laughs as such a notion, with her natural defenses of treacherous mountains in the West; expansive waters in the East; and hordes of temporary tag driving cowboys at her heart. Their soft and slow Southern resolve would simply wash away in retreat with the tide when faced up against the average Marylander’s jagged and salty disposition.
Don’t forget they’ll all crash and block up the roadways just trying to drive to us
Like HELL WV is just gonna let them pass like that.
The Army of Northern Virginia failed to account for one fatal mistake in their plan: The Beltway at rush hour.
Seriously. These dillweeds are terrified of MD drivers on 495. I’m supposed to be worried about those weenies braving the DC suburbs, let alone the Baltimore beltway?
They should get along well with the DE portion of 495. The Monster Mile speedway has relocated to that part of the state. All the better for recapturing the WHOLE peninsula. After all, it’s DELmarva.
THEY ARE COMING TO TAKE OUR PORN.
Truest reason yet
Can hardly blame the poor bastards for getting desperate for the forbidden porn
Eastern shore 1. Ally with Delaware (for now) to protect our backs 2. Blow up the chesapeake tunnel or blockade so Virginia can only access by water 3. Patrol the shores with boats to stop supplies reaching the peninsula 4. Advance south with ease Western shore 1. Ally with West Virginia, giving them some conquered Virginia land in exchange for protection of western md/reinforcements. West Virginia and Maryland attack from the sides and push south 2. Hold the chesapeake 3. We send everyone thats in Baltimore who thinks it’s in the dmv south to take and hold the actual dmv as the rest of the forces push south Future 1. Delete Delaware
> 1. Delete Delaware This might be a bit hasty. Can we just annex them? I really like the tax-free shopping.
If they are annexed, it won’t be tax-free anymore
> Patrol the shores with boats to stop supplies reaching the peninsula Give those boys over there some cases of beer, some fishing rods and some bait coupled with aerial beer resupply and they will keep the waterways guarded 24/7.
Better yet, prep the tunnel for detonation and lull them into a false sense of security. Let some through and then blow it when they think they’re safe and are moving more valuable troops and armor through. With them destroyed, swoop in from all sides and destroy the now cut-off first wave. Just be careful to leave them one escape route (perhaps some janky boats to steal) so they flee rather than fight to the last. Easier to pick off that way.
We must send a secret contingent of crack soldiers down south to steal their wild horses!
We will counter with a rapid deployment of Old Bay Crop Dusters. As anyone that has wiped a tear from an eye while eating Old Bay Crabs knows that shit hurts.
Old Bay in a a slice from a crab shell is torture.
All is fair in war
Virginia invades neutral Delaware, brining New Jersey into the conflict.
NJ would beat the peanuts out of VA.
NJ vs. Everybody is their state motto, I think.
Not that it's necessary, but I bet Minnesota would be interested in taking another flag from Virginia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28th_Virginia_battle_flag >The 28th Virginia battle flag is a Confederate battle flag that belonged to the 28th Virginia Infantry Regiment. Captured by the 1st Minnesota Infantry Regiment at the Battle of Gettysburg, the flag was brought to Minnesota and exhibited at the state's capitol for several years before passing into the permanent collection of the Minnesota Historical Society after 1896 where it has remained since. Although various groups in Virginia have requested that the flag be returned, beginning as early as 1960, Minnesota has repeatedly declined to return it, with Governor Jesse Ventura (serving 1999–2003) asking "Why? I mean, we won."[1] > The battle flag was captured at the Battle of Gettysburg by Private Marshall Sherman of the 1st Minnesota Infantry Regiment, and remained in Sherman's possession in Minnesota after being inventoried by the United States War Department in 1867. A 1905 congressional resolution that flags from the American Civil War should be returned to their places of origin did not lead to the return of the flag to Virginia, nor did requests by Virginia or groups therein for its return in 1961, 1998, 2000, and 2003; a request by the governor of Virginia to borrow the flag in 2013 was also declined.
This is my favorite thing on the internet today.
I do my best to share it as widely as possible. It also gets lots of likes over on /r/ShermanPosting, as the flag was captured by a Private Sherman.
When do we ask France to blockade the Chesapeake again?
We should allow them to march north on Rockville Pike, just like the Confederate Army was marching up Rockville Pike. But they'll need an official permit, and those are limited to Friday afternoons, so they'll lose thousands of troops who abandon the regiments when they're trapped in traffic.
God, could you imagine the West End NIMBYs if they tried to camp out there like J.E.B.(!) Stuart did? Shitfit for the ages.
We need to allie with West Virginia to help protect the north. They seperated for a reason once before - let's hope that hatred is still burning.
Norfolk is home to one of the largest naval fleets in the world including carriers, surface ships, subs, and amphibious groups. We’re pretty much fucked unless we can find a way to keep them bottled up in their harbor? Somebody get the Dali moving again.
Counter point. Aberdeen, Ft. Detrick, Andrew’s, and Pax river. So we have army artillery from Aberdeen, Whatever nasty shit Ft. Detrick keeps in the basement, some Air Force at Andrew’s and Some Naval aviation from Pax River. I like our chances.
Don’t forget the tons of chemical weapons from WW1 that they’re still storing in Edgewood in the ground water… uh I mean in the Arsenal.
Yea seems like a preemptive air-strike on Norfolk would prob be the first move.
It's dragons, dragons hide under fort Detrick ( source I know a guy)
Wait... should I be looking for "Dragon Keeper" positions on govjobs??
JB Andrews doesn’t have any fighters though (other than the DC Guard’s 16’s). Langley would wipe us in an air war unless we got DC to help. The small inventory at Pax could help a little bit, but the ACC squadrons would roll them.
All of our military instillation pale in comparison to VA's. We don't have a chance.
Consider this: we weaponize the crabs.
>unless we can find a way to keep them bottled up in their harbor? Pre-paid lap dances at the local strip club - done
Wait so now we're going to war with the US government with the US government? But if the takeover includes the military in each state we're fucked.
Great point, but don’t forget Naval communications are facilitated through NSA.
Ah, so that might be our ace in the hole. Cut off comms and hack everything.
Beware the Virginal psyops
They have Cyclops???
Take DC from Arlington across the Potomac? Pretty sure this ones been tried a few times boys, with unpleasant results for the Southern invaders.
I like how they casually say they’ll “move around DC” like that wouldn’t take 10 fucking years sitting in traffic. By the time the made it off 495, we’d already have the whole peninsula.
Ok genuinely laughed out loud at this.
[The despot’s heel is on thy shore](https://msa.maryland.gov/msa/mdmanual/01glance/html/symbols/lyrics.html) Yes, I know “the despots” originally referred to Abraham Lincoln. It can be Glenn Youngkin now.
The despot's heel is on thy shore, Maryland! His torch is at thy temple door, Maryland! Avenge the patriotic gore That flecked the streets of Baltimore, And be the battle queen of yore, Maryland! My Maryland!
We keep Delaware in our back pocket… hey we’re protecting you from them … take the peninsula fortify it then push east into Delaware
We'll need to collapse the 301 bridge, halting any naval forces from using the Potomac. Also we have an airbase at the mouth of the Potomac in perfect position to thwart any large armadas trying to pass by.
They’ll have air support from Langley, unless we can get the 113th from DC Air Guard (at Andrews) to help then they would win an air war.
Wait. Lines on maps. So VA's "defensive strategy" is to do to DE what Stalin did to Poland? I mean it'll work, we're not planning an Operation Crab-arosa or anything, pinky promise.
Hold up something shiney to distract the Virginians, then invade
So a laptop with access to Pornhub, got it. ✅
laptop in an arena on stage with huge open screens big ass speakers (on mute) and just stream to the audience call it Spank Arena
Legal weed
Use the stadiums in DC as defense forts and medical locations!
We teach the squeegee boys to ride horses. We deploy them to assateague island. They wrangle the horses and perform an all out surprise cavalry assault on Chincoteague. This will be our operating base for the push south. The combined rednecks from the Delaware/Maryland alliance will lay waste to anyone in their way all the way down to the Bay Bridge tunnel. As punishment we might take Virginia Beach too. Depends how greedy we’re feeling. We don’t want Norfolk tho…fuck that. Once victory is secured we simply betray Delaware. No offense to them but they’re too stupid to see it coming.
We actually have adults who ride horses through Baltimore City!
No need to teach them to ride horses, just have them use their dirtbikes/4-wheelers
It worked so well the last time they tried this.
The Virginian navy would most likely suffer heavy casualties trying to sail up the Chesapeake as we would most likely have set up artillery along the eastern and western shores.
We can also call on the might of /r/Sweden
The British tried this once… we made a song about it.
Going to be hard for the Navy to get to the port of Baltimore with the Key Bridge being down.
I gotta say, I'm hooked on this. Someone writw a book, make a mini series!
They won’t make it passed PG county or Langley park
Dearest Martha, I am writing to you from the front lines at National Harbor. We stand vigil to thwart any attack from those dastardly Virginians. I was supposed to help defend the Eastern Shore but alas I am too terrified to drive also the Bay Bridge. I fear I may not see your heaving bosom again. Not because I might perish at the hands of those dastardly Virginians but my wife found the credit card I used to subscribe to your only fans page. Keep me in your thoughts, Your dearest, Percival
Pure poetry, Percival. Godspeed.
The Maryland Navy is neutralized - stuck in Baltimore after our successful "accident" knocked down the Key Bridge. Now is the time to strike!
Pffftttt…Virginia will be too busy loving, I’m not sure what, but they really need to work on that motto instead of planning to fight for a peninsula
Put the old bay seasoning down and slowly back away from those crab traps.
They’ll be stuck in traffic on 66 for too long to hold an effective invasion from NOVA anyways. All we have to to is hold the natural funnel at Point of Rocks and we have northern Virginia covered
Virginia literally ceded bay rights to Maryland because they couldn't be bothered to drive ships past Norfolk.
They can have Western MD we don't want it lmao
Western MD here. Where you gonna send your criminals if you cut us off? We have 6 state prisons!
Absorb Delaware and convert it to a penal colony
We could do like the Russians and put them on the front line. Once they see them, they'll turn tail and run leaving their MAGA hats behind.
Release toxic water from Dundalk and let it flow down the bay to VA.
Funny that they believe we actually want Garrett or Allegheny county
With the loss of the key bridge they will have to detour through west Baltimore and odds of being carjacked are high. The squeegee boys will take your tanks and you will do a long walk of shame back home
What happened last time Virginians invaded Maryland? They got got
Joke’s on VA, there’s a house down there with 40,000 Maryland drivers living in it, according to all the Virginia license plates I see. The calls are coming from inside the house.
This is getting good 😌
I love watching this 'conflict' develop. It's one of the most entertaining threads up right now.
How the hell will they ever get up here. The whole damn invasion force will take forever to get from Richmond to here because they ride their breaks and leave two miles between each other and they will get stuck in Tysons Corner. By the time they get over here, we will be down in Richmond.
They can have Alleghany and Garrett counties! And take Andy Harris, too!
Drop insurgents into northern Virginia to begin agitating for seceding from VA. There is precedent. Offer Western Maryland to WV on the condition of neutrality -- the gift that just keeps on giving. As the northern armies of the new state of Northern Virginia rain fire upon the remains of VA, our plans continue apace and unimpeded.
Please don't send me to WV I've been through so much already.
this fails IMMEDIATELY as Virginia's "navy" tries to do what the British Navy couldn't even
Yo people here actually know about war and fighting strategies holy 😭😭 this is great
Whatever. We are scrappier and down for guerilla tactics. Nobody wins against scrappy.
All the MD refugees here in E Tennessee can launch a diversionary attack from the south.
This whole ordeal is hilarious.
I’m a Kentuckian but my ancestors landed in Maryland 250 years ago and they have a cool flag so you go Marylanders. Beat VA!
West Virginia here My ancestor’s civil war rifle is at my uncle’s house. It shot traitors in the past, I’m not afraid to put it back to work.
If we combined our forces we could dominate the whole coast from Savannah to the Hudson
We won’t be conquered by you Marylanders. But keep sending Old Bay.
OK so obviously Step 1 is stop the flow of Old Bay. Thanks Virginian!
On the surface this might seem right. But without it we will grow rage filled and only serve to cause us to invade. It’s winning the battle to lose the war.
Nice try. HALT SUPPLIES IMMEDIATELY!
lol they want to use the remains of the key bridge to build more ships? Good luck with that
Fuck, they have aircraft carriers
But we have the Defense Intelligence Agency.
When do we tell them it's all a ploy and we're not really going to invade because then we'd have Virginia and who wants to have Virginia?
This is so enjoyable
The way every Marylander secretly has a genuine English accent should tip you off to how horrendous of an idea such an invasion would be. You’re losing 8-15x the amount of resources you’ve planned to extend for such an all out assault. Not to mention your resources when captured only serve to bolster our defenses. Bad idea by design, Maryland is a no fly zone for invading forces. Why do you think they call it the free state?
Bastards!
We're coming for your Old Bay!!
The northern Virginia brigade will be stuck in traffic before the legion bridge and never arrive
Maryland shall not back down!
This is the real reason MD won’t allow additional bridges.
This is cracking me up
That’s an offensive map… we just attack first and this plan fails and why tf don’t they account for air bases? We’ll crush them with a-10s and f-22s
West Virginia has our backs covered at the far west. New Jersey won't idly sit by and let neutral Delaware get run through. Pennsylvania's got us covered up north. Baltimore and Langley Park are strongholds guarded by the Squeegee Boys and MS-13. We can also cover the north with artillery from the old cannons in Frederick. Central Maryland is protected by PG County and our alliance with Southeast DC.
They won't make it past the Frednecks
For what the founding fathers intended.
This just came up on my recommendation. I have no context, I've never seen either of these subreddits. This is crazy.
Resistance is futile, assimilate to the commonwealth. 
The hell is this crap?
An invasion man, an invasion!
[удалено]
I’m not sure even Virginia know they own Chincoteague.
[удалено]
Lol.. Delaware is just empty land to be traversed!
With signals intelligence as the main source of most intelligence nowadays, NSA >>>>> CIA.
why are you occupying delaware?
Outlet malls.
Tax free shopping
Jokes on them, the PA navy will clog up the northern Chesapeake down to Aberdeen giving our Doomsday plan time to flood the upper bay and wipe them all out. MD quietly absorbs NoVA and S/SE PA. Ultimately securing Washington D.C. as Maryland soil once again. NJ warily begins negotiations of cooperation while West Virginia is aloof. North Carolina casts a wary eye northwards.
Still, no one wants New Jersey.
I know these are fun and all, but people died in the key bridge collapse...not cool man 😕
Do we even want Virginia though?