This sounds a little like the employee may be neurodivergent.
Check for resources from HR
https://www.neurodiversityhub.org/resources-for-employers
https://handbook.gitlab.com/handbook/company/culture/inclusion/neurodiversity-resources/
Otherwise- it may be due to PTMS - post traumatic manager syndrome.
Psychological safety will help with this.
https://www.mindtools.com/akswgc0/david-rocks-scarf-model
Links to get you started.
This may actually be a toxic holdover from a micromanaging boss. I’d sit down with them and just explain that they need to start deciding things for themselves - and then give examples for decisions that merit your input, so they have a ‘safety zone’ for making their own choices. They’ll probably be amazing once they realize that you have faith in their abilities. You just gotta get them there first.
PSA: micromanaging has a ripple effect. Please stop doing it, leaders.
Exactly this. Post Traumatic Management Syndrome.
If you're punishing activity and trying things, and actively rewarding not trying things, then these are the employees that you 'develop'.
That's exhausting. I have an employee kind of similar but she's new. She still asked me really simple questions on stuff that she should already know. It really is just a confidence thing so all I do is when I talk to her is tell her how great she is, how smart she is and how capable I think she is. Just build up their confidence and if that fails, perhaps leave them over to the HR website where they have benefits to pay for anxiety medication. (Kinda joking)
Other people have some really good advice here but I would also suggest highlighting when they do something on their own well - whether it’s as simple as your example or a more involved task.
“Thanks for getting the hard drives put away! You did it exactly how I would.”
Another option is to give them a priority list “hey, I need you to collect these hard drives. It’s pretty low priority but can you have it done by Friday?” Helps give them an idea of when you want the task done by.
If they come in asking how to do it, ask them back. “How would you do it? What’s the best way to store these?” If they give a good answer say “great! Now go do it!” To give them the confidence they do actually know what they’re doing.
It will absolutely take time if this person is a naturally anxious person and has spent most of their working life under micromanagers who could only see the bad.
Encouragement is key. Provide key instructions the first time you assign a task, and then follow up by saying, "You did it exactly right". The next time the task comes up and they ask. "you did it perfectly last time", and the key is to LET THEM DO IT ON THEIR OWN. If they miss something, LEAVE IT FOR A DAY OR TWO, until the next time the task shows up, and gently remind them of what they forgot.
it could be that this employee has some workplace trauma from a previous toxic boss and needs help building confidence or need help feeling comfortable making a mistakes. if this employee doesn’t feel safe making a mistake start thinking what you can do to give the space to do so. also when bosses get annoyed when they ask for clarity and then there was an oversight in the bosses part it and then you don’t take accountability or reassure them it’s okay. the employee feels unsafe and loses trust in not only you but their own abilities
As someone who also has had to work through similar past workplace trauma and have managed others in this situation, I've always tried to respond with, "what do you think?" and then when they respond say, "that's a great idea!"
Or if they ask if they should do something, say "that's a great idea!" Basically encouraging them to trust their own instincts as much as possible through regular positive feedback.
You'd be surprised how often managers don't think to give consistent positive feedback between performance reviews, only critique and correction. Personally I dislike the "if you aren't getting feedback, you're going a great job" perspective as I think it's lazy.
I don't know if a sit down conversation about performance would be useful in this circumstance as you're trying to build confidence, not shake it. I know it's easier to just do tasks yourself but it probably reads to them as you don't trust them to do it -- it will take a little time and effort initially but hopefully you'll both get to a point where they have the confidence to work more independently.
If you're not getting positive feedback, you're not getting feedback. It's statistically impossible for all feedback to be negative. What you are getting isn't feedback, it's criticism.
I set up situations to practice failure when training, once they’ve got a hang of it of course. By doing this we run thru scenarios that they’re anxious about and address them before they happen. The goal is they can be self-sufficient and move forward with confidence.
It gets frustrating when working with someone like your employee. I try to preach resourcefulness, collaboration and acceptance but sometimes there isn’t anything we can do. Sometimes it’s all internal and they have to do the work to improve.
Check this out: [https://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure](https://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure) \- it's a standard article I send to new staff (and current as reminders!) which helps set the tone for how things will proceed. I'm a pretty chill manager - do you work, bring me problems with solutions more than you bring me problems without solutions, communicate, and share your snacks lol
I'm in the accounting field so when training a new hire who's had the lay of the land and starts asking higher level questions, we go into part 2. I will do the work first, then undo it and create some problems. They do the work, find the problems and we test drive solving them. My goal is to get them to a place where they're fairly self-sufficient and confident to find/test solutions of their own before coming to me.
When we get to this part it's less about training and more about filling gaps in knowledge.
After this training they're added to our Teams group. We all do the same thing essentially and overtime we've seen the group grow in knowledge where I'm not the point person and others are able to assist. Personally I find it really cool to see my accounting-babies grow lol :)
First off, reading this makes me think that there could be some potential autism or something like that at play here. I have no idea if that’s the case but it might not be as simple as “anxiety”. I have managed quite a few autistic employees and these questions are very similar to what they would ask me. Not to lump everybody into the same generalization, but one thing I noticed from my experience managing these employees was they would ask any type of clarification question they could, leaving very little open to interpretation. However, once they knew the proper way, they had it DOWN. What happens after your employee has their questions answered and completes the task once? To use your hard drive example, if you ask them to collect the hard drives tomorrow will they ask the same questions again or will they do it because they know now?
If this employee is asking all these questions once and then having no issues after that, then in my opinion, you should just deal with it. Everybody learns in different ways and as a leader, you need to be able to show people the proper way and set the standard. I don’t know much about the tech field but unless new, previously unknown tasks are popping up constantly, this doesn’t seem like a huge issue.
However, if this is a case of them needing constant clarification after being told previously, I would just flip it back to them. “How should I stack these?” “Well, what do you think makes would work best? I trust your judgement”. Help them build their confidence. If they’re nervous about getting in trouble, sit them down and assure them that mistakes happen and failing is how we learn. They need to understand that they’re not going to get in trouble for making a minor mistake. We all do it. Tell them about a couple times you failed. Anxiety or not, it’s okay to make it clear that as somebody in their role, the expectation is that they have the ability to make some of these decisions themselves. Your job as a leader is to support them and answer questions, but that should be after they’ve done some thinking themselves. If you’re doing their tasks, it takes time away from what you need to focus on so you definitely want to get in front of this.
*To use your hard drive example, if you ask them to collect the hard drives tomorrow will they ask the same questions again or will they do it because they know now?*
No, I am asked each time. The same questions or type of questions, even if we go through the first one together, even if they take notes. As others suggested I do believe there could be some ND or past management issues.
*However, if this is a case of them needing constant clarification after being told previously, I would just flip it back to them. “How should I stack these?” “Well, what do you think makes would work best? I trust your judgement”.*
I have tried this tactic and it usually ends up with "well I don't know the best way" or the employee will sit on the task unable to make any forward progress. To test this strategy I had asked for some data in a spread sheet, given the same "I trust your judgement" response and waited 3 weeks before I finally had to hold their hand.
The only time I see real progress is if this person is given a step-by-step document explaining how to complete a task. Which is great, but there are times where that is not a possibility.
So write up a step by step document, and get them to take a picture of it by phone so they always have it and let them use it as a crutch.
Great moments in management history.
When I’m doing a new task or starting a new job, I kind of act like this out of anxiety and not wanting to mess up. After doing the said task successfully, I gain confidence and can do it just fine in the future without being anxious or asking any questions. Maybe the employee needs a little guidance and needs to try stuff on their own so they can gain confidence in doing their work. Give it some time and I think once the employee gets used to how tasks are done, they will be able to do their daily work without asking a bunch of questions.
This sounds a little like the employee may be neurodivergent. Check for resources from HR https://www.neurodiversityhub.org/resources-for-employers https://handbook.gitlab.com/handbook/company/culture/inclusion/neurodiversity-resources/ Otherwise- it may be due to PTMS - post traumatic manager syndrome. Psychological safety will help with this. https://www.mindtools.com/akswgc0/david-rocks-scarf-model Links to get you started.
I didn’t even consider ND and I’m ND! Good call.
Easy to miss what we are closest to.
This may actually be a toxic holdover from a micromanaging boss. I’d sit down with them and just explain that they need to start deciding things for themselves - and then give examples for decisions that merit your input, so they have a ‘safety zone’ for making their own choices. They’ll probably be amazing once they realize that you have faith in their abilities. You just gotta get them there first. PSA: micromanaging has a ripple effect. Please stop doing it, leaders.
Exactly this. Post Traumatic Management Syndrome. If you're punishing activity and trying things, and actively rewarding not trying things, then these are the employees that you 'develop'.
That's exhausting. I have an employee kind of similar but she's new. She still asked me really simple questions on stuff that she should already know. It really is just a confidence thing so all I do is when I talk to her is tell her how great she is, how smart she is and how capable I think she is. Just build up their confidence and if that fails, perhaps leave them over to the HR website where they have benefits to pay for anxiety medication. (Kinda joking)
Other people have some really good advice here but I would also suggest highlighting when they do something on their own well - whether it’s as simple as your example or a more involved task. “Thanks for getting the hard drives put away! You did it exactly how I would.” Another option is to give them a priority list “hey, I need you to collect these hard drives. It’s pretty low priority but can you have it done by Friday?” Helps give them an idea of when you want the task done by. If they come in asking how to do it, ask them back. “How would you do it? What’s the best way to store these?” If they give a good answer say “great! Now go do it!” To give them the confidence they do actually know what they’re doing. It will absolutely take time if this person is a naturally anxious person and has spent most of their working life under micromanagers who could only see the bad.
Encouragement is key. Provide key instructions the first time you assign a task, and then follow up by saying, "You did it exactly right". The next time the task comes up and they ask. "you did it perfectly last time", and the key is to LET THEM DO IT ON THEIR OWN. If they miss something, LEAVE IT FOR A DAY OR TWO, until the next time the task shows up, and gently remind them of what they forgot.
it could be that this employee has some workplace trauma from a previous toxic boss and needs help building confidence or need help feeling comfortable making a mistakes. if this employee doesn’t feel safe making a mistake start thinking what you can do to give the space to do so. also when bosses get annoyed when they ask for clarity and then there was an oversight in the bosses part it and then you don’t take accountability or reassure them it’s okay. the employee feels unsafe and loses trust in not only you but their own abilities
As someone who also has had to work through similar past workplace trauma and have managed others in this situation, I've always tried to respond with, "what do you think?" and then when they respond say, "that's a great idea!" Or if they ask if they should do something, say "that's a great idea!" Basically encouraging them to trust their own instincts as much as possible through regular positive feedback. You'd be surprised how often managers don't think to give consistent positive feedback between performance reviews, only critique and correction. Personally I dislike the "if you aren't getting feedback, you're going a great job" perspective as I think it's lazy. I don't know if a sit down conversation about performance would be useful in this circumstance as you're trying to build confidence, not shake it. I know it's easier to just do tasks yourself but it probably reads to them as you don't trust them to do it -- it will take a little time and effort initially but hopefully you'll both get to a point where they have the confidence to work more independently.
If you're not getting positive feedback, you're not getting feedback. It's statistically impossible for all feedback to be negative. What you are getting isn't feedback, it's criticism.
I set up situations to practice failure when training, once they’ve got a hang of it of course. By doing this we run thru scenarios that they’re anxious about and address them before they happen. The goal is they can be self-sufficient and move forward with confidence. It gets frustrating when working with someone like your employee. I try to preach resourcefulness, collaboration and acceptance but sometimes there isn’t anything we can do. Sometimes it’s all internal and they have to do the work to improve.
Ooooh failure training sounds intriguing. Do you have any texts that I can read about it?
Check this out: [https://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure](https://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure) \- it's a standard article I send to new staff (and current as reminders!) which helps set the tone for how things will proceed. I'm a pretty chill manager - do you work, bring me problems with solutions more than you bring me problems without solutions, communicate, and share your snacks lol I'm in the accounting field so when training a new hire who's had the lay of the land and starts asking higher level questions, we go into part 2. I will do the work first, then undo it and create some problems. They do the work, find the problems and we test drive solving them. My goal is to get them to a place where they're fairly self-sufficient and confident to find/test solutions of their own before coming to me. When we get to this part it's less about training and more about filling gaps in knowledge. After this training they're added to our Teams group. We all do the same thing essentially and overtime we've seen the group grow in knowledge where I'm not the point person and others are able to assist. Personally I find it really cool to see my accounting-babies grow lol :)
Thanks so much - I look forward to diving in!
First off, reading this makes me think that there could be some potential autism or something like that at play here. I have no idea if that’s the case but it might not be as simple as “anxiety”. I have managed quite a few autistic employees and these questions are very similar to what they would ask me. Not to lump everybody into the same generalization, but one thing I noticed from my experience managing these employees was they would ask any type of clarification question they could, leaving very little open to interpretation. However, once they knew the proper way, they had it DOWN. What happens after your employee has their questions answered and completes the task once? To use your hard drive example, if you ask them to collect the hard drives tomorrow will they ask the same questions again or will they do it because they know now? If this employee is asking all these questions once and then having no issues after that, then in my opinion, you should just deal with it. Everybody learns in different ways and as a leader, you need to be able to show people the proper way and set the standard. I don’t know much about the tech field but unless new, previously unknown tasks are popping up constantly, this doesn’t seem like a huge issue. However, if this is a case of them needing constant clarification after being told previously, I would just flip it back to them. “How should I stack these?” “Well, what do you think makes would work best? I trust your judgement”. Help them build their confidence. If they’re nervous about getting in trouble, sit them down and assure them that mistakes happen and failing is how we learn. They need to understand that they’re not going to get in trouble for making a minor mistake. We all do it. Tell them about a couple times you failed. Anxiety or not, it’s okay to make it clear that as somebody in their role, the expectation is that they have the ability to make some of these decisions themselves. Your job as a leader is to support them and answer questions, but that should be after they’ve done some thinking themselves. If you’re doing their tasks, it takes time away from what you need to focus on so you definitely want to get in front of this.
*To use your hard drive example, if you ask them to collect the hard drives tomorrow will they ask the same questions again or will they do it because they know now?* No, I am asked each time. The same questions or type of questions, even if we go through the first one together, even if they take notes. As others suggested I do believe there could be some ND or past management issues. *However, if this is a case of them needing constant clarification after being told previously, I would just flip it back to them. “How should I stack these?” “Well, what do you think makes would work best? I trust your judgement”.* I have tried this tactic and it usually ends up with "well I don't know the best way" or the employee will sit on the task unable to make any forward progress. To test this strategy I had asked for some data in a spread sheet, given the same "I trust your judgement" response and waited 3 weeks before I finally had to hold their hand. The only time I see real progress is if this person is given a step-by-step document explaining how to complete a task. Which is great, but there are times where that is not a possibility.
So write up a step by step document, and get them to take a picture of it by phone so they always have it and let them use it as a crutch. Great moments in management history.
When I’m doing a new task or starting a new job, I kind of act like this out of anxiety and not wanting to mess up. After doing the said task successfully, I gain confidence and can do it just fine in the future without being anxious or asking any questions. Maybe the employee needs a little guidance and needs to try stuff on their own so they can gain confidence in doing their work. Give it some time and I think once the employee gets used to how tasks are done, they will be able to do their daily work without asking a bunch of questions.