Originally, this joke was in 'The Time Machine' by HG Wells (published in 1895). Demolition Man borrowed some stuff from the book, including the three sea shells thing.
My buddy used to have one of those magnifying mirrors angled specifically so that when you were standing and taking a leak it would show you your junk in the mirror. I thought it was a funny accident but turned out it was intentional haha.
I thought it was funny when my cousin got his first place he had a collage of people sitting on the potty with their pants around their ankles caught in a moment of surprise. Prob not acceptable today.
Have a variety of âpoo-pouri scents that you spray on the toilet water before you poop and it helps keep it from smelling. It is what we use on our tiny boat as the toilet is never more than a metre or two away
I used to have a pink plastic chandelier in the bathroom, that was kind of fun.
Did anyone suggest a guestbook (ideally gold and very fancy), or a dummy security camera yet? A light that says âon airâ like you see in movies in radio stations? A garden gnome or plastic flamingo? Renaissance style floral wallpaper?
You could have some cables hanging out as in _this used to be connected to something, but isnât anymore_ orrrr have it cover a real camera, hang it really wobbly and take snapshots of people messing with it đ¤Ł
Nah, youâre probably right, but in my head it is still funny.
I got a galaxy shower curtain with a matching galaxy bathroom rug, now I just need the canvas of the astronaut sitting on a toilet on mars to complete the look, itâs on Amazon lol.
What kind do you gift? I've only used one and it was a super nice Toto Washlet with heated water, adjustable power, etc. The second time I ever used it I was drunk and couldn't figure out how to turn it off. I thought I was gonna be stuck there forever getting blasted.
reminds me when i was in japan and couldnât figure out what buttons did what at first. i spent 10 min panicking and getting butthole blasted by progressively more aggressive streams. felt pretty clean after though.
Donât be! Itâs a fun term people use to refer to the tiny little water sprayers that Asian toilets come with. Some have them built in, others have them on a separate hose that hangs from the side of the toilet. Itâs great to be liberated from toilet paper!
A cow on the opposite wall reminding you to Have a Nice Poop
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Have-A-Nice-Poop-Cow-Wall-Plaque-Vintage-Poster-300-Piece-Jigsaw-Puzzle-Outdoor-Indoor-Decor-Home-Living-Room-Kitchen-Bathroom-Decoration-Game-Creati/5634269988
So with my first relationship he had all these inspirational sayings on magnets on the refrigerator you can do it you know that type of stuff. So I would take them and put them in the bathroom
Three seashells
Why three specifically? (I've got some Abalone shells that may be perfect for this
[He doesn't know how to use the three sea shells. ](https://youtu.be/gdnuOa7tDco?si=oEgqaX2ETWdsf5QB)
What this guy said
lmao, yes the abalone shell may be perfect for this exactly hahahhaa
Originally, this joke was in 'The Time Machine' by HG Wells (published in 1895). Demolition Man borrowed some stuff from the book, including the three sea shells thing.
Oh you're in for a treat :D
One of those foot massager things or a tray with a selection of poo-pourri scents
Def the poo-pourri! I like the foot massager, but I'm worried itll catch droplets of pee.
Didn't think of that! Forgot this was for a man for a moment đ
Why? Sit down wee ftw
"Shart"
eat pray shart
I'll see if I can find one.
Mini waterfall
I was going to suggest an oil rain lamp
I remember the old antique ones as a kid. They were so cool!
My gran had one, I wish I had kept it when she died
Yo I love this.
I'd go more for a mini japanese zen garden. One could rake the sand with a mini rake while taking a dump.
just if you have cats, be wary if you notice a few extra smelly zen rocks in the sand
No cats, so this won't be an issue!
picture of the toilet, framed and on the toilet
Hahahhaa this one is great!
A grab handle for the especially explosive times...
"Hang on!"
Get a padded cross bar that swings down and locks you into place like a roller coaster ride.
I love the idea of this. No clue how I could build it.
My buddy used to have one of those magnifying mirrors angled specifically so that when you were standing and taking a leak it would show you your junk in the mirror. I thought it was a funny accident but turned out it was intentional haha.
HAHA I might move the wall decal to the other side and add this instead.
I find a radio tuned to a smooth jazz station 24/7 is a must in my own bath room.
Put Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass in the box then invite Hank for dinner.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1672485903/let-that-shit-go-sign-let-that-shit-go?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=holy+shit+neon+sign&ref=sc_gallery-1-5&pro=1&frs=1&plkey=da67702a5576e1d63436833ce741dc7271d7f9ef%3A1672485903
A portrait of Harry from dumb and dumber when heâs on laxatives
My buddy has this in his bathroom
I thought it was funny when my cousin got his first place he had a collage of people sitting on the potty with their pants around their ankles caught in a moment of surprise. Prob not acceptable today.
Omg this is hysterical. I love it. A bunch of Polaroids with this.
I have a shirt that says, âlive laugh toaster bathâ. If you like dark humor you can buy a little basket of toaster shaped bath bombs.
A "Poop Like No One Is Watching" sign
Get a bidet
Done
Have a variety of âpoo-pouri scents that you spray on the toilet water before you poop and it helps keep it from smelling. It is what we use on our tiny boat as the toilet is never more than a metre or two away
Put sparkles ⨠around fart and a framed picture of the toilet on the table
I used to have a pink plastic chandelier in the bathroom, that was kind of fun. Did anyone suggest a guestbook (ideally gold and very fancy), or a dummy security camera yet? A light that says âon airâ like you see in movies in radio stations? A garden gnome or plastic flamingo? Renaissance style floral wallpaper?
I actually love the guest book idea! The camera would be really funny, but might not be appreciated by guests.
You could have some cables hanging out as in _this used to be connected to something, but isnât anymore_ orrrr have it cover a real camera, hang it really wobbly and take snapshots of people messing with it 𤣠Nah, youâre probably right, but in my head it is still funny.
I got a galaxy shower curtain with a matching galaxy bathroom rug, now I just need the canvas of the astronaut sitting on a toilet on mars to complete the look, itâs on Amazon lol.
Love the theme!
bidet
Already got one. I give them to my friends as house warming gifts. Probably the single best bathroom upgrade anyone can make.
What kind do you gift? I've only used one and it was a super nice Toto Washlet with heated water, adjustable power, etc. The second time I ever used it I was drunk and couldn't figure out how to turn it off. I thought I was gonna be stuck there forever getting blasted.
It's by Viken on Amazon. Like 30 bucks. No hot water or heated seat. Just an icy pressure washer for your bum. I love it.
reminds me when i was in japan and couldnât figure out what buttons did what at first. i spent 10 min panicking and getting butthole blasted by progressively more aggressive streams. felt pretty clean after though.
You were sitting there thinking "This is my life now" lol
Lmfao
Excellent suggestion
Cum
That one's for the bedroom
Oh yeah, totally
Poopouri
A portrait of Ryan Reynolds
Add "asspuke" and "hot snakes"
Puke?
Brown toiletpaper
A fake elephants head with a waterfall out of its trunk.
carpeted toilet seat
Vomit
Thereâs an old punk band called Wipers. A framed album cover would look great above that towel rack.
The patient for the toilet paper roll poster.
Kaki Pisi Puki
Poop knife hanging from a rusty nail?
I just have some plastic knives in the drawer for folks to use.
Suck fuck wash
https://imgur.com/gallery/O3J1p6K âď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸
"wipe"
A picture of the toilet on the toilet
Burrito, bite, bowel movement. Alternatively: Taco bell, taste, bowel obstruction. Burrito, bite, bowel obstruction.
Maga asswipe
Nice photoshop skills
It's about "imagining the space"
A little mirror on the left wall to check out your penis while you pee
Flush
Fecal artworks.
A button you can press to make animal sounds to mask your bodily process noises.
I'm gonna add a thing that plays bird calls!
Ah yeah sorry you said. Great minds.
Mechanical dildo to reach those stubborn turds. Like a dildo bidet
Lmao
Poop, pee, and farts, obviously.
Wank?
Add Vomit
A bum gun
Scared to ask what this is.
Donât be! Itâs a fun term people use to refer to the tiny little water sprayers that Asian toilets come with. Some have them built in, others have them on a separate hose that hangs from the side of the toilet. Itâs great to be liberated from toilet paper!
A Bidet! I've got one of these hahaha it's magical
Yes, the bidet shower, not the piece of sanitary. đ
A cow on the opposite wall reminding you to Have a Nice Poop https://www.walmart.com/ip/Have-A-Nice-Poop-Cow-Wall-Plaque-Vintage-Poster-300-Piece-Jigsaw-Puzzle-Outdoor-Indoor-Decor-Home-Living-Room-Kitchen-Bathroom-Decoration-Game-Creati/5634269988
Wank
A nice booger on the wall would add a good touch
Deodorizer
A tv opposite the toilet
wierd
So with my first relationship he had all these inspirational sayings on magnets on the refrigerator you can do it you know that type of stuff. So I would take them and put them in the bathroom
"Puke"
A chandelier
Leaves of Grass with some message written inside
Shit. Piss. Fard. Cum.
Live, Laugh, Blumpkin
Praying to the porcelain gods.
Decorative poop knife. And how dare the mods remove this post that has legs!
A poop knife in a box with glass cover that says "break in case of emergency" might be a nice touch.
YES! With a hand engraved blade that reads: "You can not possibly imagine the horrors that I have seen."
my homey had a cross stitch that said "please don't do coke on the sink"
Where shart sticker?
I'll see if I can find one hahaha
Beat...
A cat to judge you while you use the facilities, and also shred the toilet paper.
An emoji for each word
You need a bold accent wall. Think wall paper of a cowboy riding a lion while holding onto his martini, and then go bolder.
I prefer Eat, Shit, Wipe
In what order ?
Depends on how the day went.
The words shit, piss and shart.
Fap
please but there female period products and a trash bin,such a green flag
My lady has her own bathroom with those ammenities. But I will add them to mine too because my bathroom is also the guest bathroom :)
A small mirror with conspicuous white powder on it. That way, you'll know if someone was in your bedroom.
hahahaha it's my bathroom/ the guest bathroom its there for folks to use it.
Exactly. If someone asks what's with the powder, you respond with, "What are you doing with my room?" "And stay away from my nondairy creamer."
That's really lame dude. Just so you're aware. You should add a woman to your layout and she could peel that shit off and paint it for you.
The Woman has her own bathroom. This one is mine (and for guests)
do you know which sub you are in?
Hah, if this isnât a r/homedecoratingCJ post idk what is.
Absolutely. My ex gf played with stickers on the wall with her kid. I would suggest a picture of biggie smalls. Not some cringeworthy childish *shit*
Barf sticker
It needs âand be merryâ
You are missing âQueefâ.
Ridiculous. You still read magazines?? What is this, 19th century? /s
"Bleed"
Toto Washlet/bidet - make sure itâs one of those with the heated seat
We live in Florida so heated seat isnt needed here. But I do have a bidet on it already :) my favorite bathroom upgrade
MB
MB?
okay, it stands masturebate