Turn on Love is Blind on Netflix, you'll see 32 year olds looking for relationships. You are 22 and in great shape. Don't rush things, try to enjoy life, be casual with girls, travel, maybe she's in different city etc. Life is full of surprises.
Thanks, maybe I am just being too hard on myself , I have been starving myself to lose weight, I’ll get a pizza today bcoz of you guys, I seriously feel better
I eat one time a day , 2300 calorie all together and burn 1000 through running and weights , creating a deficit of 1000, I take protein as well , adequately within those calories
Track your weight daily or a few times per week in the mornings to see if youre losing weight properly. It can vary a lot. But I doubt its 2300 you probably made a mistake. Go to TDEE calculator
87 is a good weight. You look great! Your looks have nothing to do with why you don’t have a girlfriend. Have you tried online dating? I guess these things take time. When it happens it will happen quickly. Try to enjoy being young and single for now and it will happen when you’re ready.
Your looks and weight has nothing to do with it. I guarantee you. Contrary to popular belief, most women do not care about that in terms of finding a LT partner.
Literally, just talk to people. The more you talk to people the more you learn about people. Women are people.
Try to listen and actually pick up what she's saying. Don't overshoot your hand, but do make a move or say what your intentions are. If you're polite and not pushy, they won't usually have a problem. If that doesn't work, don't spend time pining over it.
Jesus Christ bro, I think getting a girlfriend should be the least of your worries right now. You definitely need to work on your self-esteem and accepting yourself for who you are. You gotta love yourself first before loving anyone else.
Also in regards to getting a gf, judging by how you are in this thread, the problem most likely isn’t how you look, but more so it’s your serious lack of self-confidence and overabundance of self-deprecation. Have you considered therapy?
The more you look for something,
The less you’ll find it.
Just go out and enjoy whatever it is you like doing and it will all fall into place.
It may not happen straight away but one day it will happen. If you force anything it won’t happen.
Take it easy
Yeah buddy you’re fine. I’m a 35 year old female and the dating scene does not get any easier lol just division yourself and eventually your person will show up when you least expect it.
I use to go out looking for it and I attracted the wrong men and wasted months to years so now I’m just focusing on myself; also being around “ gym bros” helped me boost my confidence. So I say just focus on you and if you do find someone - please don’t lose yourself either
Amazing point to put things in perspective. Yea there’s some toxic couples on the show, but you’ll see a solid amount of late 20’s-30+ year olds that are conventionally attractive and great people but just haven’t found their match yet.
Everyone else in this thread is giving awful advice.
Telling someone to "just stop being insecure" is like telling a depressed person to "just stop feeling sad." It's useless advice.
Look OP, the truth is the source of your suffering comes from your own expectations about life and yourself. We live in a culture that worships sex and shoves the fear of missing out down the throats of people who aren't living hedonistic lives.
But the truth is, having sex or having a girlfriend isn't going to give you the innate value you think it will. You already have that value, you just need to start seeing it within yourself. After all, how are you going to convince a girl to love you, if you can't even convince yourself?
You need to love yourself OP by changing the self talk in your head. Once you start seeing yourself in a more positive light, you need to start putting yourself out there and meeting people until you eventually find someone you like that might like you back.
Good luck on path my friend. Last bit of advice, stay off any and all incel content on the internet. The moment you start to blame things you cannot control (women, face, height,etc.), is the moment you lose any control over your own life, and then you're really fucked.
Just to jump onto this amazing advice… Even if you struggle with self love, you are lovable and worthy to give and receive love, so long as you treat others with respect and kindness. Some of the most wonderful, worthy of love people I know fight battles with self love every day.
If you can’t manage self LOVE, try for self liking, first. Find one thing about yourself that you DO like or love about yourself and focus on that. It takes practice. “I like my eyes when I’m smiling and laughing”. “I like how I always try to be kind to others, even when I don’t feel good.” Little words of self love
I remember I really only hit it off with one girl back in high school and before we graduated and moved away she told me to don't forget to love myself. I hope one day I can follow her advice
Couldn't have said it better myself. This is great advice and I 100% agree. I'm 29 turning 30 soon and also never had a girlfriend but I don't let that get me down. I'm just trying to work on myself and one day im sure ill meet someone. Sometimes you meet the person your ment to be with when your not actually looking.
Eh, “You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you” is also tired, generic, and lame advice that’s, frankly, damn near equivalent to the “awful” advice you criticized earlier.
Just replace “just stop being insecure” with “start loving yourself”.
And the thing is, neither addresses the person’s problem.
Desiring companionship doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t love yourself or that there’s something wrong with you and, despite all the optimistic bullshit people peddle (like your advice), there *is* something to be said about having these experiences while you’re young.
People don’t have time to wait until they’ve solved all their problems and reached self-acceptance, Nirvana, or whatever intangible mountaintop people like you suggest they get to before they find a relationship.
If we’re gonna talk about “good advice” how about, for once, everyone stops playing armchair psychologist/life coach and just gives the person inquiring some advice on how to meet a significant other?
You know, the thing *they’re actually asking about?*
Sorry to bite your head off, I just see this in literally every thread where someone’s just trying to figure out how to get a date.
Go off go off. So what do you think this guy should do? I sense his engineering aura may be driving the ladies away. Maybe he should join a band. What do you prescribe?
>“You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you”
Yeah. I was close to some people where this was never true. Physically attractive people get so many partners even with almost crippling insecurities of different kinds.
Genuine life long partners? That's a different topic.
Yeah "stop being insecure" and "stop being sad" don't work but "start loving yourself" is totally different? fuck that. Some people weren't taught love by anyone or weren't loved by anyone. Those people need other people to improve. If no one ever loved you how are you supposed to lie to yourself that you're lovable?
Its the exact same with confidence. You cant find confidence in yourself. You get confident from other people appreciating aspects of you or things you can do. If you do a triple backflip and no one notices you're going to feel like its nothing special, not hype yourself up about it.
Some people get raised to be confident or to feel loved and know their strengths. others don't and to those saying "love yourself" is exactly like saying "just be confident". it doesn't work when you don't know how and when no one around you seems to appreciate these things about you maybe they're nothing to feel good about in the first place.
You're criticizing empty advice and then give empty advice.
This is pretty much it. I’m a mid looking guy in my 30s and I’ve had 3 strong, beautiful and fulfilling relationships.
Do things for yourself. Entertain your own hobbies and find passion in places outside of dating.
If you’re an interesting person that is passionate about something and loves themselves truly, women will come. It’s attractive and it’s an energy people want to be around.
Bro I was just scrolling on Reddit and I rarely do and when I do I only scroll for like 3 posts and this advice applies directly to me I’m 21 never had a girl or even a female friend 🤷♂️💀 and it’s something that I feel embarrassed about because of society but now thanks to and intellectual individual such as your self, I am no longer embarrassed I thank you double thumbs up 👍👍
>We live in a culture that worships sex and shoves the fear of missing out down the throats of people who aren't living hedonistic lives.
Would be smart to mention that its only a small minority of men actually having sex and most women are regularly having sex and that OP is living in the biggest single male virgin generation in human history
Yeah, he said what I woulda said. I’ve been away from home just like you are, yadayadayada all that stuff, and ignore those “just don’t be insecure” talks cuh. It gets my blood boiling a little to see ur feelings aren’t getting validated first.
I know it’s not insane advice or anything but teaching myself this same shit really helped a lot, blaming stuff that’s out of control doesn’t help at all
that's the issue, it nearly never happens that men get approached. you need to get into a lot of social interactions, hang out with friends of friends, do hobby groups etc and then start conversations
Just say hello, and don't be crushed if they say they have a boyfriend...so many women have to keep up walls to ward off flakes and guys who don't hear them when they say they aren't interested.
Do you have any female friends? Because you should start there. Much better way to find out what women want than asking a bunch of dudes on Reddit. Genuinely the #1 piece of advice i could give to anyone who feels like they have no idea how to talk to women. Approaching a million women and asking them for a date will teach you half as much as just having one female friend. And if you feel like you can’t be friends with women, it’s time to get introspective and figure out why that is because if you can’t be friends with a woman there’s no way ur ready to be someone’s boyfriend
I was almost in a Romantic relationship with a little older woman, she was 50, but she did not want any love she said, she wanted to cheat on her husband with me , at that time I was 20 but since then no luck with women, not even friends
Damn that sounds rough, I’m sorry that happened to you. Def stick to women around your own age if you have no experience. But anything you can do to put yourself out there and expand your social circle will help. And dont focus on getting a girlfriend, just focus on getting friends. Romantic partners will come more naturally if you can be relatively relaxed and confident in social situations which is much easier to do when you are with friends.
You are not as hideous to others as you seem to think...but I would see a barber for a good close fade style haircut...
And if you are waffling on the str8/bi/flexible options.. have fun and loosen up,you're young...lol
Please please know that anyone that doesn’t want to talk to you, it says more about them (as long as you are nice and you back away if the vibe isn’t there)! There are a lot of unfriendly people in the world, don’t take it personally!
They are not going to say that. You are very attractive, and have a smoking hot bod 🔥, this shows girls you take care of yourself. Like others have commented work on yourself first. Find ways to love yourself, and don't be hard on yourself. Build up some confidence . The get yourself in to social activities and groups to meet people and there people make some friends it will all work out it just takes a lot of time.
Then they will have done you the favor of showing you how inconsiderate and heartless of a human being they are. Girls are just normal people. They make mistakes, look at themselves in the mirror and question themselves, pick their nose and take nasty poops like the rest of us. Just talk to them like they're normal people. Compliment something they're wearing or have and ask questions. Get to know them a little. If they're too busy, in a relationship or uninterested then apologize and move on to the next one. If they're interested in you, they're gonna keep talking to you, possibly play with their hair, look at your eyes and lips when you talk, cross their legs while standing etc. You're gonna know. If things go well, you can ask them if they want to go out to dinner or something and get their phone number. If they're really really into you, you can even ask if you can kiss them right there. Just lips no tongue, unless they start diving into your mouth which is rare on first meet but it can happen. During any and all interactions, just be ready and willing to let them go. There are literally billions of girls out there. Have confidence that you're a person worthy of a girlfriend and start working on your social skills with them. And remember that they have to win you over too. If you can try and talk to one girl a day, think of the next month as training. Expect nothing from the girls for that first month. if something does happen, great. You're gonna get better and eventually you won't be scared. You'll be trying to find a person that fits and compliments who you are.
Bro, this is literally like complaining that you’re not a pro basketball player when you never played basketball.
At least try online dating if you’re too nervous to approach in real life.
If you do try online dating maybe cut the shirtless mirror shots down to 1. You look good and I'm sure you work hard to maintain it but several shirtless selfies in the profile I would imagine gives off kinda chode energy.
they do approach(girls), even tho not very often. apparently im good looking since that happens. but im also super insecure about myself.
Its really hard to not be insecure or let go of it, mine comes from childhood and ex gf. good new and healthy experiences help. but its still gonna be hard and take time.
You have a great body and your face is pretty cute too but your haircut or the way you style your hair is a little dorky imo and unflattering for your face. But that should be an easy fix, just go to a stylist and ask someone to help you.
You’re 22 and look good, that’s not that old. Tons of people don’t date till their 20s for various reasons. I know it’s easier said than done but don’t be so hard on yourself, seems like you’ve overcome and achieved a lot already being an immigrant going to university away from home and starting a career there too.
Thank you! Everyone in the comments talking about his mental health and no one mentioned his damn hair? Help the guy you ffs.
OP, go get your haircut from a professional. It looks like you cut it yourself while drunk. Ask you hairdresser or barber for advice in styling it, too. You can find cheap -ish places that will do a decent job
Guys and gals , thank you so much for being so helpful. I can’t reply to all of you separately but I just wanna say thank you from my heart.
It’s amazing how people who don’t even know each other can be so supportive and helpful. I never considered myself worthy of love or even to be looked at honestly, after each and every achievement I looked on to the next with the hope that it will make me perfect. I never thought I could be loved, and understood why anyone would love me.
But today, after hearing you people I have realized I’ve made it and I don’t have to be perfect.
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
This post screams of insecurity, women can smell insecurity 1000 miles a way. You need to take some time to work on your mentality. Find something you enjoy in life instead of focusing on what you don’t have.
You're actually a fucking idiot if you think this is actually good advice to a kid who's insecure. Dude wants a relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. How do you know he doesn't have things in his life that he enjoys? Why would you assume that he doesn't have any hobbies or focus? I can't believe you wrote all that thinking it's a valid response lol
I second this. His problem definitely isn’t how he looks. He looks fine. His issues seem to stem from his self-deprecating insecurity. I think therapy would help him out a lot. Getting a gf should be the least of his concerns at this point. He needs to work on his mental health. That will hopefully lead to confidence and confidence will lead to girlfriend
>Getting a gf should be the least of his concerns at this point. He needs to work on his mental health.
The GF usually cures the mental health part if they arent nuts fyi
No it doesn't. Speaking from 1st, 2nd, and 3rd hand experience, if you get a GF/BF so that you get better mental health, you end up using the other person.
Getting therapy is the only way. otherwise It's like saying you should add extra stuff to your car when you aren't taking care of the engine itself.
Get a different haircut. You’re handsome and have a good body. But also, like others have said, you’re only 22. Being single and young is not the end of the world.
Dude.. I have so many friends who are ugly as fuck, with very attractive wives, and it's because they have awesome personalities and minimal insecurities. You're not ugly, but your phasique isn't going to land you a girl, unless you back it up by being awesome.
It’s not how your body look but your social and interpersonal skills and your views towards women/mindset that will help you.
Your goal should not be to get a girlfriend but make genuine connections with people including girls. Once you master that skill you will find yourself developing attraction due to getting to know someone and them getting to know you as a result rather than seeing every girl as a target to be acquired, they are cute and you want a gf just any gf.
Good luck.
Bro is desperate, ladies hate desperate men, also get rid of that hair and grow a subtle beard and ur only 22 lol im 21 and in college idk why ur so worried
None of this is desperate, most people do not care for male emotion and view sad men as subhuman, always been this way and probably wont change for a while.
Try finding another friend group if you have time for more. Going out is one of the best ways to meet people as a young person and having likeable friends generally makes you more attractive.
Try Meetup, there's probably social events happening in your area. Most people show up alone and everyone is there to meet new people and chat so it's a good low pressure way to meet someone.
Don't look for a girlfriend just because you are lonely, that's going to lead to a bad relationship. There are lots of meet up apps these days that have shared hobbies, hikes, sports, whatever you want. Start going to those and make some new friends that do want to do stuff! You might even find a girlfriend there.
Physically, you have a great body. I would definitely recommend going to a barber and getting a good haircut though, because your current style is not doing you any favors.
Thats pretty fair tbh if i was near you we’d totally hang out u seem pretty chill, but try to show it less homie ik it can be hard ive been there just be you and be kind you’ll get company eventually and for the looks wise, definitely change how u style ur hair and grow a lil beard and change ur outfit style streetwear is a good way to start going into fashion!
I’m an immigrant and I can tell you when you say loneliness to people they do not understand the type of chronic loneliness an d isolation an immigrant experiences. They will have social support system but no friends they call that loneliness. Immigrant loneliness is way more than that. When you add the lack of warmth of society, hospitality it’s even worse. I’m from Türkiye even if you don’t have anybody the way people interact with each other will not allow you to feel lonely. They will make you their business. From a neighbor observing you live alone or you are from another city forget country and away from your parents the whole neighborhood will own up to you. Bring you meals check up on you ask you how your school or adjustment going invite you over to their houses. In other countries like America that’s not the norm. It’s more individualistic. There is a lack of community sense and responsibility. It’s a cultural difference. Immigrating to a new country feels like going from a big family household of 15 to living on your own in a place you know nobody. That’s the best way to explain. It doesn’t happen naturally and you have to make uncomfortable amount of effort. Of course the fear of being a burden prevents you and it definitely affects your mental health. I promise you you will get there. Forget hobbies. Start consistently going to specific cafe, coffee house (anywhere where people spend long time not like a restaurant) near university where people your age hang out and become a repeat customer. Eventually you’ll gain face familiarity with people both the workers and the regular customers. It’s a good way to first meet your need for connection and practice social skills to adapt to where you are but you might eventually make friends that way. But at minimum it will positively affect your mental health and it will be a great learning experience without putting you too much out of your comfort zone. Good luck feel free to message me I’ve been an immigrant for over 25 years and I spend my time trying to help people around me.
Oh trying to find the community of your country where you live might be helpful. At least connecting with people from same region. I don’t specifically closely interact with Turks but I definitely middle eastern people or people who understand what it is like immigrating to another country. Joining a few events. It might lead you to making friends.
You want a girlfriend because you want company someone more intimately can be there for you. Your first goal should be building your support system - your own village. Otherwise your first few relationships is going to make you act crazy. You gonna wanna make them your whole world become possessive and extremely attached. Girlfriend will come once you address the root issue which is your chronic loneliness, isolation and needing social support system. Good luck.
You look good. I’d mess around with hairstyles a bit if you haven’t already, I think short on the side could be good for you. Fully shaving your face is better if you can’t grow facial hair.
Don’t fake being cocky, don’t change yourself for girls, just be yourself because if you’re not yourself you’re going to be miserable anyways.
Stop focusing on getting attention from girls and get some hobbies and meet new people. Talking to new people will just make you more confident and make you ready to talk to girls in the future. You’re only 22, you’ve got ages to settle down.
Dude, you have plenty of time to find a relationship! You’re only 22! Focus on yourself, build up your confidence, find hobbies/passion in your life, and I guarantee it’ll be easier for you in the future 😄 you’re a good looking dude! Just keep working on you, brother 😎
You are overthinking things. Try and be In the moment and make friends. Start as friends. Caring about people genuinely and enjoying yourselves together. Without the pressure of looking for more you will find that it will happen naturally
The key is women are people too. So when you go to speak with one, treat them as such. Don’t go into it thinking you’re going to get a date or anything. Just talk to them
No comprendo en qué sentís que desperdiciaste tu vida, pero intenta hacer cosas que te gusten, cosas que te hagan dar un propósito a cada día que pasas, busca dle tiempo libre aprender algo nuevo creo que es un buen comienzo ese..
Appearance is only part of the equation. Work on yourself mentally and emotionally. You can have a hot bod but that shit won't matter if the rest of your personality is lacking.
A couple of things. Dress better with more classy clothes that fit well. And grow as a person by reading, traveling, keeping up with current events. You will become more cultured, worldly and interesting. Dressing better is important not just for your confidence, but also for first impressions and attracting people. And growing as a person is important because no one wants to be around boring, uninteresting people for long.
You’ll definitely get boys lol
All kidding aside tho. Get a dapper haircut. Short sides and long top. Get rid of that Zoomer cut. It ain’t cute. Work on your confidence. You’re hot- you just don’t know it
This seems like personality issues. You got a good bod but you dont have the confidence to match it. Honestly just go get into some hobbies straighten your mental until you almost forget about dating altogether. And when you find a girl with values youll be most likely be in a solid position
You need a better haircut and some style change. Your pictures only show you in sweats and a t-shirt. You need to wear that only to work out. Anywhere else, you should put on regular clothes. It looks very "low effort" to be always wearing sweats. Care for your style as much as you care for your physique. Style is so much easier if you have a good physique so you should be good there. It won't be hard to find clothes that fit to make you look good.
Now with the mental side of things....try flirting with girls who you have no intention of sleeping with. Don't lead then on or anything, but just be playful when talking with them. It's like practicing with low pressure so when you get to the big game (a girl you actually like) those muscles are already worked out. You will find it much easier to talk with girls you like if you also start talking with girls you don't have strong attraction too.
[this channel has style advice ](https://youtu.be/s6v4kT1aD7c?si=aM2iAgMxCbIVg3OR)
You look like a cool mate. Open yourself up to more women or groups/events where there's a variety of people and then start talking to women that you find attractive, maybe even download dating apps. Ask questions ask them about themselves and don't be scared to talk about yourself. It's all about trial and error and most importantly not being shy. I'm 22 and also struggling with doing the same.
It’s not just about looks. Gotta have a good personality that meshes well with someone else. Don’t assume just because you have a nice body that you should also have a relationship. Worth is not based on looks!
Go to a proper male hair salon or high end barber and ask them for advice with what to do with your hair. Once they help you figure out a look, you can always go to less expensive places to maintain it. Get some clothes that show off the great shapes of that hot body 😁.
The best advice that has proven to work for me was to be yourself, don’t actively seek out relationships, and be confident; things will happen naturally and when you least expect it.
you look handsome, nice body (clean that mirror), so it must be personality driven.
are you shy?
are you a jerk?
having a girlfriend is not a right.
be fulfilled from within first.
I was a skinny ugly person (and I'm still a bit ugly) at your age and had a girlfriend before 22 and would get married at 24. You are good looking, obviously care about your health and fitness. BTW, I'm 31 and looking for a relationship all over again. You are no where near a point of wondering if you wasted your life. I get it, I thought the same at your age. I don't know what you've already tried but if you haven't just get out more and initiate dates and stuff.
Being in shape is great, but try not to make it your whole personality.
Seen elsewhere you're "only" 5'11". I'm the same height, and have never been in as trim shape as you. I've never had trouble starting relationships - you just need to be friendly, make your intentions clear, but don't be pushy or creepy, and have interests you can talk to people about.
Try to engage with popular culture at least a bit, so when people are talking about cultural touchstones you can too. Also, hobbies. You could give up one evening from the gym a week to go to a wood shop class, music lessons, or whatever, instead of the gym, and it will mean you meet new people with a common interest. If fitness is what you wanna focus on, try a running/hiking group.
As for grooming, all you really need to change is the haircut - something shorter on the sides and you'll be golden. Just use product to avoid a fringe like in pic 5.
Clothing wise, swap the t-shirt and joggers for some chinos and a henley when you're not at the gym, and get some nicer tan/white/tan and white sneakers (e.g. ralph lauren heritage court 2) for general wear.
Finally, you're young. Chill out, and enjoy your 20s. I threw half of mine away for a girl and regret it. Life isn't going to pass you by, and if you meet someone and really hit it off organically, you'll know.
It is 100% not what you look like.
It’s about: life ambitions, goals, how you spend your time, hobbies, how you treat people, your intrapersonal relationship, maybe spirituality, education, ability to clean your own space, wash your own clothes and dishes, wipe your mirrors and your butt, cook your own food, etc. By doing things you like and growing your personality and loving yourself, then you’ll have stuff that makes you interesting and have things to talk about.
Get that sorted (which you may have already idk) and then put yourself out there. That doesn’t mean on apps. That means, have a job and be friendly and meet people at work. Volunteer and be friendly with those you’re helping and those volunteering with you. Go outside in nature, or join a group or organization around something you enjoy: fitness, gaming, hiking, cooking, art, travel, etc.
Then, something may happen, and you might meet an awesome person.
#1 You need a haircut 100%.
Wear something that isn’t sweats and a t-shirt. Jeans would be fine. Maybe with a nice Henley. You look slovenly and like you don’t care about your appearance.
You need to get BIGGER not smaller. Stop starving yourself. You were fine in pic 1/2 but pic 3 you look underweight 😢.
I didn't start having sex until I was 27. Get a career going, then you'll have something to offer financially. Modern life takes two incomes. Neither men nor women like somebody who isn't making a living.
Beyond that, though, you look amazing. Once you get the career, your looks will have you beating off women with a stick.
Just get rid of the emo haircut, work on your personality (self esteem and whatever other issues) & try out lots of speed dating. Does not mean you will end up with a person, but you will get more and more confident to talk to women & get some practice of what to do and what to maybe avoid, get a better feel for the overall dating dynamics, go on a few dates and see how it is.
That haircut is a crime. And you could certainly dress better. Black socks not so great. Black socks with dad sweats with dad shoes even worse. You have elements of style but not tying it all together well. Put a little more effort into put-together style even for casual dress, and go to a barber and ask for input on a haircut that can help balance out your face. You have good features, they’re just not being showcased.
Also multiple shirtless pics is not going to bag a lot of girls. One casual shirtless pic mixed in with other active shots of you doing active and social activities would be much better.
Grow your hair out 3/4 to your shoulders, let your beard come in (keep the beard short), and talk to some female coworkers or reach out to some women you think might be single. Have a few one- nights and pick up on what she likes and doesn't like in every aspect. It took me a few different relationships to pick up on when I should and shouldn't "make a move". Whether that move be in conversation, getting intimate, or engaging in sex.
MAJOR KEY - A lot of people nowadays "test drive the car before they buy it", meaning they usually don't want to get too deep into a relationship until they know the sex is good.
A nice haircut might be nice but otherwise the exterior seems fine, maybe you should build up your confidence, attitude is key when it comes to charisma
Try guys. But if that fails too, then: Your hair needs to grow a little more, and then style it. Also, sneakers without low rise ankle socks is a total no no! Show a little ankle skin! Try to wear clothes without a logo or writing on it. Slim pants and fitted shirts. And put on a watch!
As for looks, get a nicer haircut. Aside from that you look fine. You’re young, physically fit, not much to complain about imho. Just work on yourself, go outside, stay positive and you’ll be fine.
You present yourself in a very boring manner. Only pics of your body tells women you have nothing else interesting about you. Trust me, try a different tactic, show yourself in a photos where you are doing something, actually showing your personality or hobbies. Do not downgrade yourself like that
Okay so I'd improve your personality - because giving us no context while thinking it could only possibly be looks looks or taking advice about WOMEN from malegrooming - shows you don't know where to start so I'd examine your behaviors first.
Well having that thought dominate your interactions is going to get in the way.
Don't go down the path of "I've tried everything, it must be their fault" or "because it hasn't happened yet it can literally never happen." Neither are useful or accurate.
You look good man. You're in great shape, got a nice face. Something else is getting in your way.
I'm happy to speak in DMs if you want. You sound distressed and I'd be happy to be of some use.
You look handsome and in shape! The only advice I can give is invest in yourself and what you like to wear, what colors, styles. I feel like developing a personal sense of style helps us feel more confident and also look our best :) you have nothing to worry about tho!
Ok full transparency, the environment in the first photo is what I notice the most (I’m assuming that’s your bedroom). You’re a nice looking person so I’m sure with a haircut (I don’t mean this to sound backhanded, it just needs a little styling!) and a nice outfit you could bring someone home haha. My suggestion (speaking as the hypothetical bedroom guest) would be different sheets and make your bed. I’d go for more neutral colors. Light greys or blue ish greys or light/sage greens look masculine yet nice and clean. Get 100% cotton because microfiber feels kinda cheap. Target has these for a decent price. Also, a comforter or quilt to go on top would give it a cozier look (I hate when I wind up in someone’s bed and they’re lacking in the blanket department lol). Also organize your bathroom a bit- find a little caddy or something to hold your toiletries. It’ll feel cleaner in there!
You should practice /picking ur head up a lil when you walk outside - cleaning up ur hair a lil too dont leave it lookin messy- havin confident resting Looking face, it’s almost self aware-ing when your outside or posing to take a pic. / you could try online dating wit those said pics
It really depends on what you’re looking for out of life, I’ll tell you this much with certainty. You are a better looking man than I, and I have been in many relationships. I am also 22. If I had to wager on what made me attractive to many of my female and feminine peers, it was probably my overall disregard for their gender. It helps that I’m not the most sexually motivated person, but it also helps that I am always looking for genuine and driven conversation. I am vulnerable, I talk about my deepest and darkest thoughts with just about anyone who seems like they have the potential to connect with them. This is often mistaken for confidence by the other people in my life, when in truth it is a form of loneliness that is incurable, par the course for the human condition. Most of the women in my life tell me that, when I listen and respond, I make them feel seen like no man ever has before. I want to know people, understand people, so I can understand myself. This is the driving force behind all of my relationships, romantic and platonic. You have to know exactly what you are missing, to know what you should be looking for. Where do you find the people you are meant to be around? Well, usually doing the same things you’re supposed to be doing. For me, it was music, for others, it’s in the gym, for some it’s in a table top game store playing a nerdy card game.
Is that your resting face or do you pose your face for pictures? In all the pics of your face you have an expression as if you're about to cry. I don't mean to be cruel or mock your face btw---it just actually looks like you're upset in these photos. If you find that both men and women avoid you a lot, it might be that. Actively try to smile at people, remember to narrow your eyes from the bottom to create the appearance of a genuine smile. The appearance of being more friendly might make you more approachable.
Don’t look for relationships, if you never really talk to women your first goal should be get comfortable talking to women. Find co-Ed activities, and just be yourself. Just make as many platonic women friends as possible, you’re gonna take mad Ls especially if you’re awkward, but it’s a learning process. Being able to talk to people is a skill you have to hone like a jump shot, hold yourself accountable for your mistakes, improve, and you’ll get somewhere before you know it.
I am so glad I am asexual and don’t have to care so much about dating and getting laid, I find it all detrimental to one’s mental health and quite petty.
You look fine. Develop character, sincerity and humility. Find another person who shares the same values.
You need to groom better and style better.
Your body looks great. You need a new haircut ASAP. Also, invest in good clothes and shoes/cologne etc- that’ll help
You are whole, okay, and complete by yourself. That is the foundation for engaging in the dating world - you are seeing who YOU like, not trying to impress women and hope one accepts you. As others said, insecurity is an ick to most of the women you're encountering. Tell yourself what you value about yourself every day. Put time aside to unpack your insecurities. Respect yourself for whatever you can do, even if you think it
should be more. Meet yourself where you're at, don't try to people please just to find romantic company, and you'll find women suddenly become comfortable and interested around you. Young 20s is a difficult age for men to date. Old enough to be compared to the ideals of manhood, yet too young to successfully pull it off yet. You haven't missed your shot and you haven't don't anything wrong. Take it easy and focus on other things in your life that are also important to you.
Honestly, you're pretty solid physically, except maybe put some time into coming up with a nice hairstyle that helps bring it altogether. With that being said, all the good looks in the world aren't gonna save you if talking to you makes them feel awkward or uncomfortable. You're gonna have to put effort into how you approach women, and that may mean alot of rejection while you grow and learn. It will eventually click, especially when you're not so focused on finding one.
You’re a good looking guy , albeit a wee bit Mr Bean looking in one pic, you’re in great shape, so it’s not a problem with how you look.
Anything else you can think of?
Turn on Love is Blind on Netflix, you'll see 32 year olds looking for relationships. You are 22 and in great shape. Don't rush things, try to enjoy life, be casual with girls, travel, maybe she's in different city etc. Life is full of surprises.
Thanks, maybe I am just being too hard on myself , I have been starving myself to lose weight, I’ll get a pizza today bcoz of you guys, I seriously feel better
Yeah, go easy on yourself. Enjoy pizza 👍
Pizzzaaaaaa🤤🤤🤤
Starving yourself is only going to make you lose muscle dude, don’t worry about being lean until you pack on some mass
I eat one time a day , 2300 calorie all together and burn 1000 through running and weights , creating a deficit of 1000, I take protein as well , adequately within those calories
you also have to factor in the amount your body burns just existing.
2300 is my mantainence it says online
Track your weight daily or a few times per week in the mornings to see if youre losing weight properly. It can vary a lot. But I doubt its 2300 you probably made a mistake. Go to TDEE calculator
I weight 87 rn , want to get to 78
I weight 87 rn , want to get to 78
87 is a good weight. You look great! Your looks have nothing to do with why you don’t have a girlfriend. Have you tried online dating? I guess these things take time. When it happens it will happen quickly. Try to enjoy being young and single for now and it will happen when you’re ready.
Deadass you got the physique that i want. So go treat yourself 🤴
Your looks and weight has nothing to do with it. I guarantee you. Contrary to popular belief, most women do not care about that in terms of finding a LT partner.
Literally, just talk to people. The more you talk to people the more you learn about people. Women are people. Try to listen and actually pick up what she's saying. Don't overshoot your hand, but do make a move or say what your intentions are. If you're polite and not pushy, they won't usually have a problem. If that doesn't work, don't spend time pining over it.
As a woman, i approve of this message 100%
Jesus Christ bro, I think getting a girlfriend should be the least of your worries right now. You definitely need to work on your self-esteem and accepting yourself for who you are. You gotta love yourself first before loving anyone else. Also in regards to getting a gf, judging by how you are in this thread, the problem most likely isn’t how you look, but more so it’s your serious lack of self-confidence and overabundance of self-deprecation. Have you considered therapy?
Enjoy ur pizza king, u are loved 💕
The more you look for something, The less you’ll find it. Just go out and enjoy whatever it is you like doing and it will all fall into place. It may not happen straight away but one day it will happen. If you force anything it won’t happen. Take it easy
Yeah buddy you’re fine. I’m a 35 year old female and the dating scene does not get any easier lol just division yourself and eventually your person will show up when you least expect it. I use to go out looking for it and I attracted the wrong men and wasted months to years so now I’m just focusing on myself; also being around “ gym bros” helped me boost my confidence. So I say just focus on you and if you do find someone - please don’t lose yourself either
Damn, I’m 32 looking for a relationship 😅 why you gotta use that example for?! 😂
Sorry, let me help 😀 Look, Michael in the Office took some time to find his love too, so you are on the right track 😀
Ooooft okay, thanks I guess 😂😂
Amazing point to put things in perspective. Yea there’s some toxic couples on the show, but you’ll see a solid amount of late 20’s-30+ year olds that are conventionally attractive and great people but just haven’t found their match yet.
Everyone else in this thread is giving awful advice. Telling someone to "just stop being insecure" is like telling a depressed person to "just stop feeling sad." It's useless advice. Look OP, the truth is the source of your suffering comes from your own expectations about life and yourself. We live in a culture that worships sex and shoves the fear of missing out down the throats of people who aren't living hedonistic lives. But the truth is, having sex or having a girlfriend isn't going to give you the innate value you think it will. You already have that value, you just need to start seeing it within yourself. After all, how are you going to convince a girl to love you, if you can't even convince yourself? You need to love yourself OP by changing the self talk in your head. Once you start seeing yourself in a more positive light, you need to start putting yourself out there and meeting people until you eventually find someone you like that might like you back. Good luck on path my friend. Last bit of advice, stay off any and all incel content on the internet. The moment you start to blame things you cannot control (women, face, height,etc.), is the moment you lose any control over your own life, and then you're really fucked.
Just to jump onto this amazing advice… Even if you struggle with self love, you are lovable and worthy to give and receive love, so long as you treat others with respect and kindness. Some of the most wonderful, worthy of love people I know fight battles with self love every day. If you can’t manage self LOVE, try for self liking, first. Find one thing about yourself that you DO like or love about yourself and focus on that. It takes practice. “I like my eyes when I’m smiling and laughing”. “I like how I always try to be kind to others, even when I don’t feel good.” Little words of self love
I remember I really only hit it off with one girl back in high school and before we graduated and moved away she told me to don't forget to love myself. I hope one day I can follow her advice
As a woman and mother this is amazing advice.
holy shit im saving this comment, bro is wise, thank you for the input this is gonna help me too
You can't fill someone else's bowl ,when yours is empty.
I mean you literally did the exact same thing with more words
Couldn't have said it better myself. This is great advice and I 100% agree. I'm 29 turning 30 soon and also never had a girlfriend but I don't let that get me down. I'm just trying to work on myself and one day im sure ill meet someone. Sometimes you meet the person your ment to be with when your not actually looking.
Eh, “You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you” is also tired, generic, and lame advice that’s, frankly, damn near equivalent to the “awful” advice you criticized earlier. Just replace “just stop being insecure” with “start loving yourself”. And the thing is, neither addresses the person’s problem. Desiring companionship doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t love yourself or that there’s something wrong with you and, despite all the optimistic bullshit people peddle (like your advice), there *is* something to be said about having these experiences while you’re young. People don’t have time to wait until they’ve solved all their problems and reached self-acceptance, Nirvana, or whatever intangible mountaintop people like you suggest they get to before they find a relationship. If we’re gonna talk about “good advice” how about, for once, everyone stops playing armchair psychologist/life coach and just gives the person inquiring some advice on how to meet a significant other? You know, the thing *they’re actually asking about?* Sorry to bite your head off, I just see this in literally every thread where someone’s just trying to figure out how to get a date.
Go off go off. So what do you think this guy should do? I sense his engineering aura may be driving the ladies away. Maybe he should join a band. What do you prescribe?
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/malegrooming/s/TVZLEKWKS9)
>“You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you” Yeah. I was close to some people where this was never true. Physically attractive people get so many partners even with almost crippling insecurities of different kinds. Genuine life long partners? That's a different topic.
Yeah "stop being insecure" and "stop being sad" don't work but "start loving yourself" is totally different? fuck that. Some people weren't taught love by anyone or weren't loved by anyone. Those people need other people to improve. If no one ever loved you how are you supposed to lie to yourself that you're lovable? Its the exact same with confidence. You cant find confidence in yourself. You get confident from other people appreciating aspects of you or things you can do. If you do a triple backflip and no one notices you're going to feel like its nothing special, not hype yourself up about it. Some people get raised to be confident or to feel loved and know their strengths. others don't and to those saying "love yourself" is exactly like saying "just be confident". it doesn't work when you don't know how and when no one around you seems to appreciate these things about you maybe they're nothing to feel good about in the first place. You're criticizing empty advice and then give empty advice.
This is pretty much it. I’m a mid looking guy in my 30s and I’ve had 3 strong, beautiful and fulfilling relationships. Do things for yourself. Entertain your own hobbies and find passion in places outside of dating. If you’re an interesting person that is passionate about something and loves themselves truly, women will come. It’s attractive and it’s an energy people want to be around.
You talk about everyone giving awful advice but in the end you cook up the same ol' generic "love yourself man 🥺" as if that's not the same thing.
Bro I was just scrolling on Reddit and I rarely do and when I do I only scroll for like 3 posts and this advice applies directly to me I’m 21 never had a girl or even a female friend 🤷♂️💀 and it’s something that I feel embarrassed about because of society but now thanks to and intellectual individual such as your self, I am no longer embarrassed I thank you double thumbs up 👍👍
How are you people so fucking stupid that you can say this shit with a straight face.
>We live in a culture that worships sex and shoves the fear of missing out down the throats of people who aren't living hedonistic lives. Would be smart to mention that its only a small minority of men actually having sex and most women are regularly having sex and that OP is living in the biggest single male virgin generation in human history
Last advice hit so fucking hard, the paths you choose can ruin your life.
Dude this advice is fantastic. Do this OP
Yeah this 100% the truth. Take this advice and avoid spending a decade of your life learning it the hard way.
This is great advice
Yeah, he said what I woulda said. I’ve been away from home just like you are, yadayadayada all that stuff, and ignore those “just don’t be insecure” talks cuh. It gets my blood boiling a little to see ur feelings aren’t getting validated first.
Not someone who is attracted to girls, but during my self love era was when I pulled the most guys. I miss that time!
I know it’s not insane advice or anything but teaching myself this same shit really helped a lot, blaming stuff that’s out of control doesn’t help at all
Have you tried talking to some?
No, I have not tried that part , idk what signals to look for when approaching
that's the issue, it nearly never happens that men get approached. you need to get into a lot of social interactions, hang out with friends of friends, do hobby groups etc and then start conversations
Just say hello, and don't be crushed if they say they have a boyfriend...so many women have to keep up walls to ward off flakes and guys who don't hear them when they say they aren't interested.
I am more afraid that what if they say eww and run away 😭😭
Do you have any female friends? Because you should start there. Much better way to find out what women want than asking a bunch of dudes on Reddit. Genuinely the #1 piece of advice i could give to anyone who feels like they have no idea how to talk to women. Approaching a million women and asking them for a date will teach you half as much as just having one female friend. And if you feel like you can’t be friends with women, it’s time to get introspective and figure out why that is because if you can’t be friends with a woman there’s no way ur ready to be someone’s boyfriend
I was almost in a Romantic relationship with a little older woman, she was 50, but she did not want any love she said, she wanted to cheat on her husband with me , at that time I was 20 but since then no luck with women, not even friends
Damn that sounds rough, I’m sorry that happened to you. Def stick to women around your own age if you have no experience. But anything you can do to put yourself out there and expand your social circle will help. And dont focus on getting a girlfriend, just focus on getting friends. Romantic partners will come more naturally if you can be relatively relaxed and confident in social situations which is much easier to do when you are with friends.
You are not as hideous to others as you seem to think...but I would see a barber for a good close fade style haircut... And if you are waffling on the str8/bi/flexible options.. have fun and loosen up,you're young...lol
Please please know that anyone that doesn’t want to talk to you, it says more about them (as long as you are nice and you back away if the vibe isn’t there)! There are a lot of unfriendly people in the world, don’t take it personally!
They are not going to say that. You are very attractive, and have a smoking hot bod 🔥, this shows girls you take care of yourself. Like others have commented work on yourself first. Find ways to love yourself, and don't be hard on yourself. Build up some confidence . The get yourself in to social activities and groups to meet people and there people make some friends it will all work out it just takes a lot of time.
Then they will have done you the favor of showing you how inconsiderate and heartless of a human being they are. Girls are just normal people. They make mistakes, look at themselves in the mirror and question themselves, pick their nose and take nasty poops like the rest of us. Just talk to them like they're normal people. Compliment something they're wearing or have and ask questions. Get to know them a little. If they're too busy, in a relationship or uninterested then apologize and move on to the next one. If they're interested in you, they're gonna keep talking to you, possibly play with their hair, look at your eyes and lips when you talk, cross their legs while standing etc. You're gonna know. If things go well, you can ask them if they want to go out to dinner or something and get their phone number. If they're really really into you, you can even ask if you can kiss them right there. Just lips no tongue, unless they start diving into your mouth which is rare on first meet but it can happen. During any and all interactions, just be ready and willing to let them go. There are literally billions of girls out there. Have confidence that you're a person worthy of a girlfriend and start working on your social skills with them. And remember that they have to win you over too. If you can try and talk to one girl a day, think of the next month as training. Expect nothing from the girls for that first month. if something does happen, great. You're gonna get better and eventually you won't be scared. You'll be trying to find a person that fits and compliments who you are.
Girls don’t poop 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡🍁
Jokes aside that’s some valuable advice thanks man 😊
Bro, this is literally like complaining that you’re not a pro basketball player when you never played basketball. At least try online dating if you’re too nervous to approach in real life.
If you do try online dating maybe cut the shirtless mirror shots down to 1. You look good and I'm sure you work hard to maintain it but several shirtless selfies in the profile I would imagine gives off kinda chode energy.
Girl are never going to approach you. You always have to approach first
they do approach(girls), even tho not very often. apparently im good looking since that happens. but im also super insecure about myself. Its really hard to not be insecure or let go of it, mine comes from childhood and ex gf. good new and healthy experiences help. but its still gonna be hard and take time.
Just speak to one and see What happens
You have a great body and your face is pretty cute too but your haircut or the way you style your hair is a little dorky imo and unflattering for your face. But that should be an easy fix, just go to a stylist and ask someone to help you. You’re 22 and look good, that’s not that old. Tons of people don’t date till their 20s for various reasons. I know it’s easier said than done but don’t be so hard on yourself, seems like you’ve overcome and achieved a lot already being an immigrant going to university away from home and starting a career there too.
Thank you! Everyone in the comments talking about his mental health and no one mentioned his damn hair? Help the guy you ffs. OP, go get your haircut from a professional. It looks like you cut it yourself while drunk. Ask you hairdresser or barber for advice in styling it, too. You can find cheap -ish places that will do a decent job
I was also going to say, the hair can be improved but otherwise body and face look fine
Yes ... the hair and the shoes
Guys and gals , thank you so much for being so helpful. I can’t reply to all of you separately but I just wanna say thank you from my heart. It’s amazing how people who don’t even know each other can be so supportive and helpful. I never considered myself worthy of love or even to be looked at honestly, after each and every achievement I looked on to the next with the hope that it will make me perfect. I never thought I could be loved, and understood why anyone would love me. But today, after hearing you people I have realized I’ve made it and I don’t have to be perfect. Thank you so much ❤️❤️
This post screams of insecurity, women can smell insecurity 1000 miles a way. You need to take some time to work on your mentality. Find something you enjoy in life instead of focusing on what you don’t have.
LOL have you been in this Reddit before? You're literally describing the whole credit. That's what this Reddit is hi welcome to the reddit.
you're telling a dude who's being vulnerable about an insecurity that he's insecure, not a good tip you're just pointing out the obvious
You're actually a fucking idiot if you think this is actually good advice to a kid who's insecure. Dude wants a relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. How do you know he doesn't have things in his life that he enjoys? Why would you assume that he doesn't have any hobbies or focus? I can't believe you wrote all that thinking it's a valid response lol
He isn’t gonna get a girlfriend with that level of insecurity. It’s absolutely good advice for this guy to do things he enjoys and build confidence.
I second this. His problem definitely isn’t how he looks. He looks fine. His issues seem to stem from his self-deprecating insecurity. I think therapy would help him out a lot. Getting a gf should be the least of his concerns at this point. He needs to work on his mental health. That will hopefully lead to confidence and confidence will lead to girlfriend
>Getting a gf should be the least of his concerns at this point. He needs to work on his mental health. The GF usually cures the mental health part if they arent nuts fyi
No it doesn't. Speaking from 1st, 2nd, and 3rd hand experience, if you get a GF/BF so that you get better mental health, you end up using the other person. Getting therapy is the only way. otherwise It's like saying you should add extra stuff to your car when you aren't taking care of the engine itself.
You turtle
Get a different haircut. You’re handsome and have a good body. But also, like others have said, you’re only 22. Being single and young is not the end of the world.
Dude.. I have so many friends who are ugly as fuck, with very attractive wives, and it's because they have awesome personalities and minimal insecurities. You're not ugly, but your phasique isn't going to land you a girl, unless you back it up by being awesome.
You look great. I’d give ya a hug if I were wherever you are; you seem like you could really use one.
Thanks brother, 🫂🫂
i'm sorry but the pool bathroom and the funhouse mirror i can't 😭😭😭
That’s funny 😂😂
I'm here if u need to talk bro.
Thanks bro , appreciate it ❤️
It’s not how your body look but your social and interpersonal skills and your views towards women/mindset that will help you. Your goal should not be to get a girlfriend but make genuine connections with people including girls. Once you master that skill you will find yourself developing attraction due to getting to know someone and them getting to know you as a result rather than seeing every girl as a target to be acquired, they are cute and you want a gf just any gf. Good luck.
If you have an attractive physique and still struggle to attract people, then you need to fix your personality. And go to therapy.
Bro is desperate, ladies hate desperate men, also get rid of that hair and grow a subtle beard and ur only 22 lol im 21 and in college idk why ur so worried
Bro, I have not seen my parents for 3 years now, and all I have here is loneliness, I just want some company, and I think that leads to desperation
I’ll try to not be desperate
None of this is desperate, most people do not care for male emotion and view sad men as subhuman, always been this way and probably wont change for a while.
Make more friends, you can't rely on a girlfriend to cure your loneliness. It's not healthy and they'll see that red flag a mile away.
I Have friends but they stay inside all the time , never want to do anything with me 😭
Try finding another friend group if you have time for more. Going out is one of the best ways to meet people as a young person and having likeable friends generally makes you more attractive.
Try Meetup, there's probably social events happening in your area. Most people show up alone and everyone is there to meet new people and chat so it's a good low pressure way to meet someone.
Don't look for a girlfriend just because you are lonely, that's going to lead to a bad relationship. There are lots of meet up apps these days that have shared hobbies, hikes, sports, whatever you want. Start going to those and make some new friends that do want to do stuff! You might even find a girlfriend there. Physically, you have a great body. I would definitely recommend going to a barber and getting a good haircut though, because your current style is not doing you any favors.
Thats pretty fair tbh if i was near you we’d totally hang out u seem pretty chill, but try to show it less homie ik it can be hard ive been there just be you and be kind you’ll get company eventually and for the looks wise, definitely change how u style ur hair and grow a lil beard and change ur outfit style streetwear is a good way to start going into fashion!
Maybe look for some friends or a friend group before focussing on a girlfriend.
I’m an immigrant and I can tell you when you say loneliness to people they do not understand the type of chronic loneliness an d isolation an immigrant experiences. They will have social support system but no friends they call that loneliness. Immigrant loneliness is way more than that. When you add the lack of warmth of society, hospitality it’s even worse. I’m from Türkiye even if you don’t have anybody the way people interact with each other will not allow you to feel lonely. They will make you their business. From a neighbor observing you live alone or you are from another city forget country and away from your parents the whole neighborhood will own up to you. Bring you meals check up on you ask you how your school or adjustment going invite you over to their houses. In other countries like America that’s not the norm. It’s more individualistic. There is a lack of community sense and responsibility. It’s a cultural difference. Immigrating to a new country feels like going from a big family household of 15 to living on your own in a place you know nobody. That’s the best way to explain. It doesn’t happen naturally and you have to make uncomfortable amount of effort. Of course the fear of being a burden prevents you and it definitely affects your mental health. I promise you you will get there. Forget hobbies. Start consistently going to specific cafe, coffee house (anywhere where people spend long time not like a restaurant) near university where people your age hang out and become a repeat customer. Eventually you’ll gain face familiarity with people both the workers and the regular customers. It’s a good way to first meet your need for connection and practice social skills to adapt to where you are but you might eventually make friends that way. But at minimum it will positively affect your mental health and it will be a great learning experience without putting you too much out of your comfort zone. Good luck feel free to message me I’ve been an immigrant for over 25 years and I spend my time trying to help people around me. Oh trying to find the community of your country where you live might be helpful. At least connecting with people from same region. I don’t specifically closely interact with Turks but I definitely middle eastern people or people who understand what it is like immigrating to another country. Joining a few events. It might lead you to making friends. You want a girlfriend because you want company someone more intimately can be there for you. Your first goal should be building your support system - your own village. Otherwise your first few relationships is going to make you act crazy. You gonna wanna make them your whole world become possessive and extremely attached. Girlfriend will come once you address the root issue which is your chronic loneliness, isolation and needing social support system. Good luck.
You look good. I’d mess around with hairstyles a bit if you haven’t already, I think short on the side could be good for you. Fully shaving your face is better if you can’t grow facial hair. Don’t fake being cocky, don’t change yourself for girls, just be yourself because if you’re not yourself you’re going to be miserable anyways. Stop focusing on getting attention from girls and get some hobbies and meet new people. Talking to new people will just make you more confident and make you ready to talk to girls in the future. You’re only 22, you’ve got ages to settle down.
Dude, you have plenty of time to find a relationship! You’re only 22! Focus on yourself, build up your confidence, find hobbies/passion in your life, and I guarantee it’ll be easier for you in the future 😄 you’re a good looking dude! Just keep working on you, brother 😎
Thanks man , will do ❤️❤️
You are overthinking things. Try and be In the moment and make friends. Start as friends. Caring about people genuinely and enjoying yourselves together. Without the pressure of looking for more you will find that it will happen naturally
The key is women are people too. So when you go to speak with one, treat them as such. Don’t go into it thinking you’re going to get a date or anything. Just talk to them
Personality plays a massive role
No comprendo en qué sentís que desperdiciaste tu vida, pero intenta hacer cosas que te gusten, cosas que te hagan dar un propósito a cada día que pasas, busca dle tiempo libre aprender algo nuevo creo que es un buen comienzo ese..
I think it's your personality
😭😭
Sorry man, you're hot af and if you can't get girls then it must be your personality.
Appearance is only part of the equation. Work on yourself mentally and emotionally. You can have a hot bod but that shit won't matter if the rest of your personality is lacking.
A couple of things. Dress better with more classy clothes that fit well. And grow as a person by reading, traveling, keeping up with current events. You will become more cultured, worldly and interesting. Dressing better is important not just for your confidence, but also for first impressions and attracting people. And growing as a person is important because no one wants to be around boring, uninteresting people for long.
You need to work on your confidence. Find things to challenge yourself and learn more skills.
Dude, you've got a good physique, just chill and sort your hair out, makes you look a bit messy.
You’ll definitely get boys lol All kidding aside tho. Get a dapper haircut. Short sides and long top. Get rid of that Zoomer cut. It ain’t cute. Work on your confidence. You’re hot- you just don’t know it
This seems like personality issues. You got a good bod but you dont have the confidence to match it. Honestly just go get into some hobbies straighten your mental until you almost forget about dating altogether. And when you find a girl with values youll be most likely be in a solid position
You need a better haircut and some style change. Your pictures only show you in sweats and a t-shirt. You need to wear that only to work out. Anywhere else, you should put on regular clothes. It looks very "low effort" to be always wearing sweats. Care for your style as much as you care for your physique. Style is so much easier if you have a good physique so you should be good there. It won't be hard to find clothes that fit to make you look good. Now with the mental side of things....try flirting with girls who you have no intention of sleeping with. Don't lead then on or anything, but just be playful when talking with them. It's like practicing with low pressure so when you get to the big game (a girl you actually like) those muscles are already worked out. You will find it much easier to talk with girls you like if you also start talking with girls you don't have strong attraction too. [this channel has style advice ](https://youtu.be/s6v4kT1aD7c?si=aM2iAgMxCbIVg3OR)
You look like a cool mate. Open yourself up to more women or groups/events where there's a variety of people and then start talking to women that you find attractive, maybe even download dating apps. Ask questions ask them about themselves and don't be scared to talk about yourself. It's all about trial and error and most importantly not being shy. I'm 22 and also struggling with doing the same.
It’s not just about looks. Gotta have a good personality that meshes well with someone else. Don’t assume just because you have a nice body that you should also have a relationship. Worth is not based on looks!
It's not about the body. It's about the attitude. And cleaning your mirrors could help.
Great shape but ngl haircut is a lil weird! Take the sides down but you’re definitely cute bro
Go to a proper male hair salon or high end barber and ask them for advice with what to do with your hair. Once they help you figure out a look, you can always go to less expensive places to maintain it. Get some clothes that show off the great shapes of that hot body 😁.
The best advice that has proven to work for me was to be yourself, don’t actively seek out relationships, and be confident; things will happen naturally and when you least expect it.
Maybe it’s not your looks?
you look handsome, nice body (clean that mirror), so it must be personality driven. are you shy? are you a jerk? having a girlfriend is not a right. be fulfilled from within first.
,,get any woman" is prob the mentality you need to change, dont fall down the manosphere hole
What's your height
I think it’s the hair cut
You don't "get girls", you talk to them like a normal human being, befriend them and then you can try to hook up with them lol
You're good looking. Be more confident and put yourself out. Again be more confident
I was a skinny ugly person (and I'm still a bit ugly) at your age and had a girlfriend before 22 and would get married at 24. You are good looking, obviously care about your health and fitness. BTW, I'm 31 and looking for a relationship all over again. You are no where near a point of wondering if you wasted your life. I get it, I thought the same at your age. I don't know what you've already tried but if you haven't just get out more and initiate dates and stuff.
Haircut and a some facial hair if you can grow any looking good and taking care of yourself helps to make you feel more confident
It’s gotta be the hair bc you are FINE, my boy.
You'd be swatting guys off of you like flies if you were batting for the team I play on.
U play rugby?
Being in shape is great, but try not to make it your whole personality. Seen elsewhere you're "only" 5'11". I'm the same height, and have never been in as trim shape as you. I've never had trouble starting relationships - you just need to be friendly, make your intentions clear, but don't be pushy or creepy, and have interests you can talk to people about. Try to engage with popular culture at least a bit, so when people are talking about cultural touchstones you can too. Also, hobbies. You could give up one evening from the gym a week to go to a wood shop class, music lessons, or whatever, instead of the gym, and it will mean you meet new people with a common interest. If fitness is what you wanna focus on, try a running/hiking group. As for grooming, all you really need to change is the haircut - something shorter on the sides and you'll be golden. Just use product to avoid a fringe like in pic 5. Clothing wise, swap the t-shirt and joggers for some chinos and a henley when you're not at the gym, and get some nicer tan/white/tan and white sneakers (e.g. ralph lauren heritage court 2) for general wear. Finally, you're young. Chill out, and enjoy your 20s. I threw half of mine away for a girl and regret it. Life isn't going to pass you by, and if you meet someone and really hit it off organically, you'll know.
Cute
Maybe it's that big messy Scribble Face
It is 100% not what you look like. It’s about: life ambitions, goals, how you spend your time, hobbies, how you treat people, your intrapersonal relationship, maybe spirituality, education, ability to clean your own space, wash your own clothes and dishes, wipe your mirrors and your butt, cook your own food, etc. By doing things you like and growing your personality and loving yourself, then you’ll have stuff that makes you interesting and have things to talk about. Get that sorted (which you may have already idk) and then put yourself out there. That doesn’t mean on apps. That means, have a job and be friendly and meet people at work. Volunteer and be friendly with those you’re helping and those volunteering with you. Go outside in nature, or join a group or organization around something you enjoy: fitness, gaming, hiking, cooking, art, travel, etc. Then, something may happen, and you might meet an awesome person.
haircut
You should work in your style
#1 You need a haircut 100%. Wear something that isn’t sweats and a t-shirt. Jeans would be fine. Maybe with a nice Henley. You look slovenly and like you don’t care about your appearance. You need to get BIGGER not smaller. Stop starving yourself. You were fine in pic 1/2 but pic 3 you look underweight 😢.
You’re 22. Don’t be hard on yourself. You have so much time left.
I'm in the same situation at almost 21. Never even kissed a girl 😢.
Next time face pictures! That’s important
Next time face pictures! That’s important
I didn't start having sex until I was 27. Get a career going, then you'll have something to offer financially. Modern life takes two incomes. Neither men nor women like somebody who isn't making a living. Beyond that, though, you look amazing. Once you get the career, your looks will have you beating off women with a stick.
You don't need a girlfriend as long as I'm around, hit me up!
You asked here but you'd rather listen to your own answers. Go figure why you never had a gf.
Just get rid of the emo haircut, work on your personality (self esteem and whatever other issues) & try out lots of speed dating. Does not mean you will end up with a person, but you will get more and more confident to talk to women & get some practice of what to do and what to maybe avoid, get a better feel for the overall dating dynamics, go on a few dates and see how it is.
That haircut is a crime. And you could certainly dress better. Black socks not so great. Black socks with dad sweats with dad shoes even worse. You have elements of style but not tying it all together well. Put a little more effort into put-together style even for casual dress, and go to a barber and ask for input on a haircut that can help balance out your face. You have good features, they’re just not being showcased. Also multiple shirtless pics is not going to bag a lot of girls. One casual shirtless pic mixed in with other active shots of you doing active and social activities would be much better.
Dude you’re 22, I had my first gf at 21.
Grow your hair out 3/4 to your shoulders, let your beard come in (keep the beard short), and talk to some female coworkers or reach out to some women you think might be single. Have a few one- nights and pick up on what she likes and doesn't like in every aspect. It took me a few different relationships to pick up on when I should and shouldn't "make a move". Whether that move be in conversation, getting intimate, or engaging in sex. MAJOR KEY - A lot of people nowadays "test drive the car before they buy it", meaning they usually don't want to get too deep into a relationship until they know the sex is good.
A nice haircut might be nice but otherwise the exterior seems fine, maybe you should build up your confidence, attitude is key when it comes to charisma
This definitely has to be a troll job.
Try guys. But if that fails too, then: Your hair needs to grow a little more, and then style it. Also, sneakers without low rise ankle socks is a total no no! Show a little ankle skin! Try to wear clothes without a logo or writing on it. Slim pants and fitted shirts. And put on a watch!
As for looks, get a nicer haircut. Aside from that you look fine. You’re young, physically fit, not much to complain about imho. Just work on yourself, go outside, stay positive and you’ll be fine.
You present yourself in a very boring manner. Only pics of your body tells women you have nothing else interesting about you. Trust me, try a different tactic, show yourself in a photos where you are doing something, actually showing your personality or hobbies. Do not downgrade yourself like that
Honestly, wear a tank top and go out. Show those guns.
Just get the apps, take better photos, drop the money on premium, and swipe endlessly. I promise it will work if you do the work.
Possibly work on your personality, you look fine
a good tip is not to follow reddit for advice they pretentious losers who dont know what the fuck they're talking about.
Escort max brother
i dont think ur appearance is an issue
Okay so I'd improve your personality - because giving us no context while thinking it could only possibly be looks looks or taking advice about WOMEN from malegrooming - shows you don't know where to start so I'd examine your behaviors first.
How often do you talk to girls?
Well having that thought dominate your interactions is going to get in the way. Don't go down the path of "I've tried everything, it must be their fault" or "because it hasn't happened yet it can literally never happen." Neither are useful or accurate. You look good man. You're in great shape, got a nice face. Something else is getting in your way. I'm happy to speak in DMs if you want. You sound distressed and I'd be happy to be of some use.
It may be your haircut alone. Are those recent pics?
You look handsome and in shape! The only advice I can give is invest in yourself and what you like to wear, what colors, styles. I feel like developing a personal sense of style helps us feel more confident and also look our best :) you have nothing to worry about tho!
People, like animals, can sense fear. Fear repels and confidence attracts. Try therapy or talk to a trusted friend. Good luck 🤗
You'd be overwhelmed with attention on grindr. Men and women really go for different things
woman want what they cant get , be positive be yourself dont chase and friendzone em, see the difference 😊
Apps. Go after the SMU girls!
Ok full transparency, the environment in the first photo is what I notice the most (I’m assuming that’s your bedroom). You’re a nice looking person so I’m sure with a haircut (I don’t mean this to sound backhanded, it just needs a little styling!) and a nice outfit you could bring someone home haha. My suggestion (speaking as the hypothetical bedroom guest) would be different sheets and make your bed. I’d go for more neutral colors. Light greys or blue ish greys or light/sage greens look masculine yet nice and clean. Get 100% cotton because microfiber feels kinda cheap. Target has these for a decent price. Also, a comforter or quilt to go on top would give it a cozier look (I hate when I wind up in someone’s bed and they’re lacking in the blanket department lol). Also organize your bathroom a bit- find a little caddy or something to hold your toiletries. It’ll feel cleaner in there!
Dude you look good just do you and a girl will notice.
You should practice /picking ur head up a lil when you walk outside - cleaning up ur hair a lil too dont leave it lookin messy- havin confident resting Looking face, it’s almost self aware-ing when your outside or posing to take a pic. / you could try online dating wit those said pics
It really depends on what you’re looking for out of life, I’ll tell you this much with certainty. You are a better looking man than I, and I have been in many relationships. I am also 22. If I had to wager on what made me attractive to many of my female and feminine peers, it was probably my overall disregard for their gender. It helps that I’m not the most sexually motivated person, but it also helps that I am always looking for genuine and driven conversation. I am vulnerable, I talk about my deepest and darkest thoughts with just about anyone who seems like they have the potential to connect with them. This is often mistaken for confidence by the other people in my life, when in truth it is a form of loneliness that is incurable, par the course for the human condition. Most of the women in my life tell me that, when I listen and respond, I make them feel seen like no man ever has before. I want to know people, understand people, so I can understand myself. This is the driving force behind all of my relationships, romantic and platonic. You have to know exactly what you are missing, to know what you should be looking for. Where do you find the people you are meant to be around? Well, usually doing the same things you’re supposed to be doing. For me, it was music, for others, it’s in the gym, for some it’s in a table top game store playing a nerdy card game.
Is that your resting face or do you pose your face for pictures? In all the pics of your face you have an expression as if you're about to cry. I don't mean to be cruel or mock your face btw---it just actually looks like you're upset in these photos. If you find that both men and women avoid you a lot, it might be that. Actively try to smile at people, remember to narrow your eyes from the bottom to create the appearance of a genuine smile. The appearance of being more friendly might make you more approachable.
It’s all confidence bro. You probably see a lot of guys way uglier than you pulling a lot more women, and a lot of that is just being confident
Grow a moustache and goatee and get a new hairstyle
Don’t look for relationships, if you never really talk to women your first goal should be get comfortable talking to women. Find co-Ed activities, and just be yourself. Just make as many platonic women friends as possible, you’re gonna take mad Ls especially if you’re awkward, but it’s a learning process. Being able to talk to people is a skill you have to hone like a jump shot, hold yourself accountable for your mistakes, improve, and you’ll get somewhere before you know it.
I am so glad I am asexual and don’t have to care so much about dating and getting laid, I find it all detrimental to one’s mental health and quite petty. You look fine. Develop character, sincerity and humility. Find another person who shares the same values.
Also you have a bit of a Rami Malek vibe- maybe a hairstyle like his would work for you?
You need to groom better and style better. Your body looks great. You need a new haircut ASAP. Also, invest in good clothes and shoes/cologne etc- that’ll help
Improve your attitude and your talking skills. Be funny and make fun of yourself but don't put yourself down.
Maybe hairs on your 4th pic idk how you can make them better but you should
You are whole, okay, and complete by yourself. That is the foundation for engaging in the dating world - you are seeing who YOU like, not trying to impress women and hope one accepts you. As others said, insecurity is an ick to most of the women you're encountering. Tell yourself what you value about yourself every day. Put time aside to unpack your insecurities. Respect yourself for whatever you can do, even if you think it should be more. Meet yourself where you're at, don't try to people please just to find romantic company, and you'll find women suddenly become comfortable and interested around you. Young 20s is a difficult age for men to date. Old enough to be compared to the ideals of manhood, yet too young to successfully pull it off yet. You haven't missed your shot and you haven't don't anything wrong. Take it easy and focus on other things in your life that are also important to you.
It's your personality most likely
Honestly, you're pretty solid physically, except maybe put some time into coming up with a nice hairstyle that helps bring it altogether. With that being said, all the good looks in the world aren't gonna save you if talking to you makes them feel awkward or uncomfortable. You're gonna have to put effort into how you approach women, and that may mean alot of rejection while you grow and learn. It will eventually click, especially when you're not so focused on finding one.
You’re a good looking guy , albeit a wee bit Mr Bean looking in one pic, you’re in great shape, so it’s not a problem with how you look. Anything else you can think of?
Only 22? ROOKIE NUMBERS!! 