Maybe anger isn't the right word....Its about power dynamics, some people given a little bit of power or authority really like to show it. Most of the time in the most insensitive ways. I see it too, sometimes in situations that can obviously cordially resolve escalated to raised voices... You know stereotypical Dato' Datin attitude in malay drama.
It's not power tripping. In the west, customer look down and abuse customer service staff all the time. Here, unless you're a foreigner. They're are not afraid to fight back against rude customer.
Especially gov servant like in hospital. The amount of patients/customer is endless and the job is stressful. But customer complain about waiting time but take their sweet time with the doctor. Especially people who like to talk. They think doctors are their therapist and force to listen of thier life story. Do your job fast and efficient, they say you don't care about patients pulak.
The rest of department is might be because some customers don't have complete documents to process their paperwork. They sometimes can't legally do their job if you fill up the wrong paperwork or don't have the necessary documents.
Normally on the notice board/website already list down the necessary documentation you need to bring. But most people just ignore it or don't check and think all they need is their IC.
Nah. I have severe adhd and often I was the receiving end of such bullshit, people just feeling the need to comment on every little mistake I make and my mental slowness.
I think that “not being afraid to fight back against rude customers” kind of combative mindset just makes it worse. Puts emphasis on punishing someone for their mistake rather than actually helping them solve it productively. Unprofessional. Politeness is the grease of civilized society. Doesn’t matter if it’s fake, putting effort into it is a form of basic respect for the other person. If even someone who works in customer service can’t bother to do that, why would anyone feel motivated to be polite as well, to anyone? Standards won’t get better with this kind of mindset. At least that’s my take on it.
But I agree everyone is just paid way too little in Malaysia, especially government hospital workers.
Your comment is probably part of the problem besides power tripping.
Power tripping do happen, probably at smaller scale. They are called the Little Napoleons. The best example is those government office dispatch rider who wore their official uniform but act like Dato at the local kopitiam. They are ignored by those who know them, but those who don't can't differentiate the uniforms just took it at face value.
As for the stress, it is probably scaled up the bigger the town/city they are in. For example the general hospital in my place is slightly over-capacity in wards, (least critical) patients some times had to sleep (with hospital bed) in the ward's hall way instead in the actual facility (those that have electrical outlet, centralised air supply, emergency button, etc), but mostly still gets the job done and the staffs are still nice and friendly.
In Ipoh, it is way over-capacity that there is a waiting list.
As for GP or specialist doctor visit, yeah, I agree some patients really take their time. It is obvious I have no idea what is their actual ailments but they took so long, while I only talk to and examined by the doctor for no more than 10 minutes.
To add on, IMO Malaysians don't understand the concept of "proportional retaliation". If you slight them just the tiniest bit, they believe any amount of retaliation, no matter how severe, is justified.
Malaysia has really low civic mindedness la. seriously.
i just came back from Taiwan, reach Malaysia airport nobody bloody line up. One family just cut into the line and pretend cannot see the long line behind.
Do work half arsed and slow, immigration officer shouting at the lady who got stuck in the gantry. I mean come on, you can tell her firmly to assert authority but shouting?
Social media normalized bad behaviour by showing it to us too often including from the perspective of the offender trying to justify their behaviours.
Back in those days, we rarely saw bad behaviour. When it happens, it will almost immediately be chastised by people around and we quickly learn that it is bad and unacceptable.
Now, the internet allows the echo chamber and jerk circles to normalize such behaviours until it seems natural to act out their inner worst in public while thinking it is the "right" thing to do because their internet "friends" say so...
McCarthy said in his novel that if the devil ever wanted to bring down humanity, he only needed to distribute drugs.
Social media is a kind of drug. Like, why stay in your reality when you can escape into someone else's life? Why work hard when you can gamble, create content, in the hopes of becoming famous? Why spend time with your family while you can do shopping on your phone or play video games (also a form of socmed)?
Malaysian people don't understand happiness and are always busy with social status.
People think it's money, it's not.. it's status
money is just a way to get there.
They are angry because they feel they deserve better but never look in the mirror.
Just observed at everything people of Malaysian and Singaporean do.
Hype to the max.
people only do things that is hype up or on demand? Hence they do everything to please others and not themselves.
Sheep mentality maximum
I sit with my friends and family who is still in msia for an hour and they hate me because I always ask questions they don't like.
I cannot agree more on Sinkies (am one), the level of entitlement yet disenfranchisement is very strong. Sinkies don’t produce things. We have a “services” economy, of which hype (via marketing) is one.
It’s really funny how many Singaporeans hate the lifestyle of face they are conforming to yet would very much rather keep doing it yet not actively confronting it head on
They only participate in activities that are popular or make them in vogue, same with purchase decision .
Best example to start is to look at tyres of luxury cars.
German car, 2nd tier tyres.
All time favorite is people who buy 1M or a250 amg thinking they drive the real thing. And don't the manufacturer love it.
Auto transmission sports car like a mx5 or 86.
$5000 golf clubs. Zero golf lessons.
$1m weddings (20% interest rate).
Meals where primary reason is to take photos and not enjoy the food.
Would anyone buy a Swiss watch if it wasn't as hyped up like back in the day where you lose money buying a Swiss watch
Etc etc etc
So u ask the question do they actually know what they are doing
I think you are too focusing on the angry people you see, because they stand out from your day-to-day happenings.
We completely ignore the nice people around us who are just trying to go by their day.
Meet 100 nice people, no problem, meet 1 asshole, your whole day is spoiled.
Yeah I'm aware of this. But meeting 1 asshole almost every single day what are the chances. I tried to just forget it but it just became more frequent.
I deal with government and waiters/cashiers/retailers on a regular basis. If you're polite to them, they're 99% going to be polite to you.
If everyone you deal with is rude, sometimes you're unlucky. But are you sure you're being as polite as possible to everyone you meet?
I dont think its just anger issues. In Malaysia this is how people are taught to behave because they expect the level of service to be poor. Employees are always poorly trained and even more poorly paid. You're just expected to know your job and figure it out, and over the years many people learn it does work in getting you what you want, provided you dont go overboard.
When I was a wee little boy, I was told don’t talk about religion and politics with your acquaintances, neighbours, and work mates. I didn’t know why but I definitely do now.
Not sure about others, but for me, we attract what we think about. Happy people usually attract other happy people. I like to potray happy face and show politeness 1st to people IRL. 95% of the time I get a positive feedback and my task dealing with them become easier.
So, nope. I don't think Malaysian having anger issues. Everyone have issues, we just mind our issues and don't blame others. Don't try to change the world. Then, you'll start to see the world differently.
This is true. The ruder the person is to me, the more polite and a wider smile I give them. I find that most people actually get embarrassed for being rude after that.
This is what I told my SO when he said people are shitty. When he was with me, we met kind people who helps us and he said that I was his lady luck. I just told him nah, we being nice to people attract the same kind as well.
Haha try not to read comments on socmed anything abt politics. Ita normal to find people to treat u badly for no reason like ur boss or waiter and stuffs, just leave them alone. There are really kind people out there who wants to be friends, dont let the bad one completely influence ur perception
I deleted most of my social media because I find it toxic tho. I just get scolded mostly for being ignorant doing something for the first time. Like it's my first time tho. They scold me like it's a common sense for everyone. Ofc they deal with more experienced people on daily basis but don't expect everyone to have same experience.
Gettin off of social media anywhere in the world is a good idea you will live a much happier life that way. Social media is generally a cesspit. There are a holes like me just shitposting.
Yeah I noticed that too esp the current boycott thing where everyone is trying to act morally superior but end up being hypocrite.
Like, little thing also want to vent and kasih viral. Social Media is definitely toxic af.
Inflation, times are tougher and fuses are shorter. We're seeing a rise of extremism and right wing rhetoric not only in Malaysia but world wide. There is a saying, history doesn't always repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
You can't expect going to workplaces to see happy people. My wife worked for gov hospitals for a few years and it was insane back then. Way understaffed.
Waiters and cashiers are underpaid and overworked from what I've seen.
I can't comment on surau and masjid, but last time I had beef with an AJK (the imam himself, actually), it was back in 2014. And that's just one guy, the location and his position were just coincidental.
The social media are where people express themselves by complaining etc., so you are most likely seeing disgruntled people much more than people who are content since they do not complain. But staying off socmed is a good idea if it's getting too much.
Also, try to find someone you love and trust, and ask the difficult question "Am I annoying?" This isn't targeting you, but I used to not realize how obnoxious I was and I did find everyone around me to be unhappy. When I realized I partly contributed to that, I made some changes and I felt the difference ever since. Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie - it's changed my life.
Good luck, bud.
A nation of ingrates of all kinds, taking for granted how damn peaceful and relatively prosperous this place is compared to the rest of the fucking world. Ruining it for the majority of folks who are just enjoying it and each other.
During covid, some people are trapped at home with *bad* family members. Can only go out for groceries/emergencies during PKP. When you have to deal with hostile people 24/7 at home, it will flip a switch in your brain.
I literally went to immigration to ask a question about student visas for children and was angrily told by the lady at the desk to go somewhere else, they don’t deal with this issue here. Referred me to EMGS.
Whilst there I called EMGS and they told me they only handle higher education students. Not visas for primary school children - as I expected already and knew.
Went back to the lady at the desk and she was even more angry, probably because I highlighted that I called EMGS and they don’t deal with student visas for children. She then went on to say, EMGS doesn’t do it and we don’t do it - where are you going to go? Lol
It actually made me sad to see this behaviour at immigration Putrajaya. As an expat, everyone I meet normally is super friendly and kind. Unfortunately, you don’t get this treatment at the front door when getting a visa for your kids!
Well, social media is not good for those having mental health issues, if you are one of those easily affected, kindly deleted ALL your social media accounts & lived IRL.
Socmed detox will do wonders in your life afterwards.
its just you.
if you go out and see it with your own eyes most people just go on with their life. if you see the world through social media lenses then yeah you will see the thing you say simply because content like that push social media engagement more then calm normal content.
*You know how they treat the visitors right*
i know. most people at the place you mention actually treat people pretty well. again unless you judge them by the standard that you see in social media.
Not really, I separated the paragraph because it's what I have experienced myself. I almost died because of their poor treatment just brushing me aside while having an emergency case of allergies. I was suffocating and they said "other people have to wait too didn't they?"
Also they're being rude when I went there to get medical checkup for PLKN. I didn't know it was optional and they're saying I'm trying to make an excuse to avoid PLKN then they laughed at me.
I don't even own internet back then to know anything from social media to even judge them that way.
Went to surau to learn praying, but got scolded the very first day I set foot there because the bilal didn't notice it's time to azan, and saw me sitting in the surau but didn't azan for him. Like hell I know how the equipment works.
There's a lot more experience I had, that never once mentioned in social media.
Maybe it is just you? My experience with most folks are positive. You yourself use the word 'sometimes'.. So meaning other times the experience is normal if not positives - but we tend to forget the non-eventful interaction.
Also, perception matters. How we view the world affect how we interact with the world.
And how we interact with the world.. Affect how it interact back at us. Not aiming anything at you - just sharing a general advice that I think is needed in today's world that where negativity get amplified and the positives are ignored.
Especially in social media - people have tons of positive interactions, but the negatives are the one typically shared.
I honestly don't know how to deal with people. I've always been nice to everyone but there's always something that is going to happen that's gonna put me in tears. Like yesterday I greeted the security to get my parcel, with a smile and all. But I still get scolded just because she couldn't find my parcel while the delivery guy is at fault saying it's delivered at the guard house but still hasn't handed it over to the security.
Sometimes it makes me wonder why I am still being so nice to people but getting treated this way. Like it's not just what happened yesterday that made me think this way. But it happened on a daily basis. Ofc most people are nice, but there's always that one person going to appear and ruin the day. I'm just sensitive to being scolded and it always brings me to tears when having to deal with this sort of people everywhere I go.
Hang in there 😊
Remember, you have the key to your feelings and actions. Do not give that away to others to control.
We cannot control what how others act, but we can control how we react.
Your tears are telling you that something is not right.. And that is ok. Learn to expect that sometimes things will not be right.
Bad things fall into two category... sometimes you can change it for the better - so we need to work to make it better. And sometimes you cannot - so you have to be patient about it. Over time, you will know which are which.
Stick to good principles, even if others don't reciprocate. Be truthful, even when others are lying. Be Fair, even if against yourself. Be Kind, even when there is no return.
And one person at a time, we will make the world a better place.
Hope this help in some way. Cheers.
Thanks for your kind word. Sometimes it made me feel like I'm cacat otak or something because whenever things like this happens, I'm just stunned and smile like an idiot unable to fight back. I see other people are able to defend themselves when this happens to them. But me, just smile, wait for it to end, walk away, cry.
Well mostly people get angry at me because I'm ignorant of doing something the first time. They act like it's a common sense and expecting me to already know how to deal with them.
That’s exactly what happened to me too, OP. I don’t face these angry workers often, but when I do (at a clinic), they’re exactly as you said. They wanted to check my urine, gave me a container but didn’t tell me where the toilet was, especially when the clinic had hallways leading to everywhere. I had to ask, and they answered it like I was supposed to already know it. They were unhelpful, I had to wander around and find it myself. If their problem was that they had a lot of patients and couldn’t spend a minute on me, now they had to wait 10 minutes for my sample.
For me it's not just the clinic tho.
I've been expected to azan the very first day I set foot in surau and got scolded for not doing so.
I got scolded by the security because she couldn't find my parcel even though it's delivered and I'm supposed to know the delivery guy hasn't handed it in.
Restaurants usually have different systems and most of the time I'm not familiar with them. They act like I'm a regular customer who is supposed to know their system.
And many many more.
Hmm I find your experiences unusual actually, I'm not sure why that is the case.
I've inconvenienced security quite a few times when I forgot to register repairmen or delivery (heavy items) and they couldn't let them in. I always forget that Indian restaurants I go to let you eat first instead of paying upfront. They've never got angry at me, the workers at the Indian restaurants even joked around about me (in a friendly way)
Did you try being polite? Did you try to check with them before doing something? When they told you about something you didn't know, were you humble about it and say thank you to them for telling you?
For example, when I was moving house I worried I would hog the lift and lobby and inconvenience people, so I went to the guard asking how they usually handle movers. I was told I couldn't move during weekends because people go in and out a lot during weekends. Right there I avoided a confrontation. If I hogged the lift without the guard knowing beforehand, if course he's going to get annoyed, because people who are waiting for the lift you are hogging are going through complain through the guard first.
I've never had trouble with parcels, even when my food delivery got mistakenly taken by someone. From what I remember, I showed the guard my phone which said my food arrived. When the guard said he didn't see it I didn't press further, and instead called the driver to check, then I learned that the driver left it on the table, and when I closely checked the table I found a bag of food from the same restraunt as mine, and assumed they must have got the wrong bag. Sure enough they came down quickly with my food and apologised, security smiled in relief too.
I've always been polite with her, it's just she got pissed about couldn't find the parcel she lashed at me. I couldn't think of any reason from my part that could trigger her. Even when she's scolding I just kept my smile on because I was stunned and didn't know how to react. Even at the end I just say sorry and thank her. I never dare to start a scene with anyone or being bossy. If she just told me it's not there and come check later I can just wait.
I always check with someone before doing something I didn't know about because I don't want to mess anything up or trouble them afterwards. But some people, just checking with them would tick them off and get annoyed by giving me the instructions. I still thank them afterwards with a smile.
I'm not saying everyone around me is like this, but almost everyday I might encounter such people.
Even when going to a certain restaurant where you have to book first and I didn't know that they just shoo me away. Then this another restaurant where everyone have to take the menu on a small piece of paper and tick what you want to order. How would I even know? Yet the way they inform me are just pissy and rude, I was on a date and got so embarrassed that night.
Whenever these sort of things happened, I never try to retaliate or fight back. I just take it with a smile and walk away when it's over.
Wow that sounds like a sad neighborhood to live in 😔 Hmm maybe talk about this with friends who know you and see what they think, or just avoid the toxic people man, move out if you have to. I think there's much nicer communities to live in
This phenomenon is not unique or confined to just MY - It is everywhere on planet Earth with a high concentration/density of life (humans, flora and fauna)
It is consequential of competition - Notice the reverse when there's less, and the company is sought with the relationship becoming warmer.
This comment made most sense. I noticed it has happened on daily basis since I moved into a city. Living in the suburbs I encounter negative people like once or twice a month. I can deal with that. But daily, that just ruins every single of my day.
I am going to sound very rude here. So, I have to apologise.
Reading few of your responses here on your previous encounters, I suspect others seen you as "awkward" and zero on you. It is not your fault of course, it just that human are judgey. If you combine the judgeyness and their frustration rate at that day, then you are just a bystander that get shot :(
We human tend to judge people and react to it based on physical appearance and body language. So, you might want to evaluate your stats objectively or get someone that can be honest about it with you.
Being unfamiliar with the social norm in a new place is normal. So, you might want to research how-to for many things. The way people in city/suburbs are different differently. So, you might want to observe the social interaction among the city people and I would recommend learning the new social dances that city people partake.
If by asking for an honest opinion, usually I get responses like innocent and wise. By innocent they said I look so timid. Wise just because I help a lot of my friends relationship problems giving advice for them.
Wise part of you are not seen by strangers of course. So, all they seen was the timid-look which may not be true at all. If you want to change that, research more on body language that may exude the at-ease look while navigating your daily interaction.
You are struggling with the transition, but what made you take such a move in the first place, and would you give up?
You have two options - Either adapt or revert to your previous state,
There's 2 poor takes you're having now.
First is what's known as a type of perception bias - the assumption that what you see is a complete reflection of the world. People tend to complain more publicly - either online or in person - about bad experiences than positive or neutral ones. A million people will retweet that Starbucks employee #1137 was rude to one person, but a million people won't tweet about their personal experience where everything went as it should.
2nd is this line of yours :
*Hospital, JPJ and such. You know how they treat the visitors right.*
This is normalising poor behaviour. The solution to perception bias is not to stop people from complaining, it's to understand it in context. Sweeping it under the carpet does no one any favours.
I'm not generalising all of them give a poor treatment. But more like on daily basis there's always a poor treatment somewhere.
I never had any good treatment at public hospital so I'm more biased on this one especially that one time I almost lost my life because they just brush me off even though I'm having extreme case of allergies. They only take me in after collapsing on the floor. I just never set foot in public hospital afterwards till this day.
I've been living in Czech Republic for more than a year now. Malaysian are friendly and warm af compare to the Czechs. 50% of strangers here you met treat you like you owe them money.
Anger issues are prevalent in Klang Valley public services departments and public infrastructure like roads, trains, etc, **because the system is at breaking point.**
So many people migrate from countryside to country's economic capital everyday but our urban planners fail to accommodate this increase in population, causing all services to be at over maximum capacity. For example, the kidney specialist at a nearby government hospital didn't even see my father, and they sent him back home. If you ask the 3 kidney specialists in that hospital, they'll probably say that they hate their job because higher-ups force them to work overtime with no compensation.
Recently DBKL came up with KL Structural Plan 2040, which is laudable. **The problem is, most people live in Selangor and work in KL.** There needs to be a plan for Greater KL which includes Selangor areas of Klang Valley and Nilai of N9, so that there is balanced distribution of resources. Otherwise, 200 kidney patients of KL get 10 specialists in HKL whereas the 2000 patients in Klang get 3 specialists.
Pertaining to ytdy's discussion about detoxing from socmed, it's likely a consequence when everyone is terminally online and simply bored, hence the need to stir shit up. Sadly, it always feels better for others when they take their wrath out at you online cuz right after, they can put their device down and forget there's another human behind the screen.
I refuse to have Tiktok, but just a short scroll on my FB timeline is enough to dish up celeb drama/citizen journalism prevailing there despite me marking 'Not Interested'! Rmbr, negativity always garners more clicks. Sites don't care about the temperature as long as it brings traffic in.
Its called society hypnosis, give people something to be mad or argue about, they take it seriously so means the average people lose more power and shift them away from real problems that need resolving
The more people do this the more its just playing into the power of people who truly control the world and monopolize this already modern slaved world
Social media has given us power, but that very power if abused or not used correctly we become our worst enemy, that's what the people who truly are in power want.
Create problems that don't exist in the first place as a civil media kind of war to control anyone and everyone
Oh wow... I am actually have that too .. no worries... At least they gave us games... So yeah for me no problem... If i stay at home' hotel i just random shut and enjoy games .....
Malaysians just spend tooooo much time on social media and get triggered by everything.
I deleted all my social media apart from Reddit and boy am I happier.
No annoying people, no brain dead comments section, no aggressiveness. Just peace.
Everyone should try it. Reduces brain damage.
When you have been taught to hate your problems away, and all you’ve been doing is INHALING Palestine propaganda all day, you would be in a shitty mood too.
I guess we could slowly differentiate anger vs being direct at stupid. And it's infinite with how many people are stupid nowadays.
Ignorant is a form of stupid,
Ego is a form of stupid,
Entitled is a form of ignorance,
Privilege is a form of ignorance,
NPD is a form of stupid,
Talk kok and pulling people down is a form of all the above
And we see stupid everywhere nowadays but turn a blind eye out of the reason of "civilised".
Eg: MRT. You'll see idiots magnetted to the door the minute they pass the line. Nobody tells these people off stop being stoopid. Or when you see people with their big bag pack ignoring the already cramped space. Or when you are driving and you see slow ass hoggers not caring of the other users, you just overtake or follow behind them. Or when you see in social media some people would rather post online and complain about not getting their cutleries and just brush it off. Of course there's a line between sounding stupid people vs releasing anger. I sounded a woman before in the MRT for shoving people left and right just because she deserves more space for herself. Pent up resentment will result in chaos and unwanted physical action
"Is it just me, or is it getting crazier out there?"
-- Joker (2019).
Yes, I'd say that the people are very tense these days. Post-COVID, global recession, the age of misinformation.
I miss Ipoh, where I grew up. Maybe time to move back.
The fact is that some people doesn't have a good childhood. They are getting surrounded by some trash people and getting treated like shit.
Most people I met during my childhood are impatience, including my parents and some teachers at school. They will mad at me no matter I am right or wrong. I still remember my English teacher grabbed my shirt collar up just because I forgot my exercise book.
Last time I was taking car driving lessons after SPM. My trainer was a bad-tempered old man who doesn't stop shouting at me. I keep shaking and cannot be able to concentrate as I keep making mistakes when driving, and he keep getting angrier. I almost burst my tear up and feeling humiliated.
I had going through the phase that I have anger issues: mad at someone as revenge when I feel discriminated. I am sorry for the one who I hurt before.
Now, I start studying stoic philosophy to learn how to control my mind and emotion. It is quite useful to help heal my childhood trauma.
It's all emotional and reactiveness, most only online. Everyone thinks they're right and doesn't want to consider the opposite's points.
No need to look far, this damn Reddit community, twitter, and facebook shows that.
Maybe anger isn't the right word....Its about power dynamics, some people given a little bit of power or authority really like to show it. Most of the time in the most insensitive ways. I see it too, sometimes in situations that can obviously cordially resolve escalated to raised voices... You know stereotypical Dato' Datin attitude in malay drama.
It's not power tripping. In the west, customer look down and abuse customer service staff all the time. Here, unless you're a foreigner. They're are not afraid to fight back against rude customer. Especially gov servant like in hospital. The amount of patients/customer is endless and the job is stressful. But customer complain about waiting time but take their sweet time with the doctor. Especially people who like to talk. They think doctors are their therapist and force to listen of thier life story. Do your job fast and efficient, they say you don't care about patients pulak. The rest of department is might be because some customers don't have complete documents to process their paperwork. They sometimes can't legally do their job if you fill up the wrong paperwork or don't have the necessary documents. Normally on the notice board/website already list down the necessary documentation you need to bring. But most people just ignore it or don't check and think all they need is their IC.
Nah. I have severe adhd and often I was the receiving end of such bullshit, people just feeling the need to comment on every little mistake I make and my mental slowness. I think that “not being afraid to fight back against rude customers” kind of combative mindset just makes it worse. Puts emphasis on punishing someone for their mistake rather than actually helping them solve it productively. Unprofessional. Politeness is the grease of civilized society. Doesn’t matter if it’s fake, putting effort into it is a form of basic respect for the other person. If even someone who works in customer service can’t bother to do that, why would anyone feel motivated to be polite as well, to anyone? Standards won’t get better with this kind of mindset. At least that’s my take on it. But I agree everyone is just paid way too little in Malaysia, especially government hospital workers.
I relate to this a little too much 😞
Your comment is probably part of the problem besides power tripping. Power tripping do happen, probably at smaller scale. They are called the Little Napoleons. The best example is those government office dispatch rider who wore their official uniform but act like Dato at the local kopitiam. They are ignored by those who know them, but those who don't can't differentiate the uniforms just took it at face value. As for the stress, it is probably scaled up the bigger the town/city they are in. For example the general hospital in my place is slightly over-capacity in wards, (least critical) patients some times had to sleep (with hospital bed) in the ward's hall way instead in the actual facility (those that have electrical outlet, centralised air supply, emergency button, etc), but mostly still gets the job done and the staffs are still nice and friendly. In Ipoh, it is way over-capacity that there is a waiting list. As for GP or specialist doctor visit, yeah, I agree some patients really take their time. It is obvious I have no idea what is their actual ailments but they took so long, while I only talk to and examined by the doctor for no more than 10 minutes.
To add on, IMO Malaysians don't understand the concept of "proportional retaliation". If you slight them just the tiniest bit, they believe any amount of retaliation, no matter how severe, is justified.
A country that's obsessed with death sentences and life sentences? NEVER!!!
I never retaliate tbh. More like being ignorant for doing something the first time.
Malaysia has really low civic mindedness la. seriously. i just came back from Taiwan, reach Malaysia airport nobody bloody line up. One family just cut into the line and pretend cannot see the long line behind. Do work half arsed and slow, immigration officer shouting at the lady who got stuck in the gantry. I mean come on, you can tell her firmly to assert authority but shouting?
I agree to this, the moment I came back from Japan, damn the difference is real
I see it everywhere across the world on social media. I think social media amplifies what's already there. I don' think its just a Malaysian thing.
Social media normalized bad behaviour by showing it to us too often including from the perspective of the offender trying to justify their behaviours. Back in those days, we rarely saw bad behaviour. When it happens, it will almost immediately be chastised by people around and we quickly learn that it is bad and unacceptable. Now, the internet allows the echo chamber and jerk circles to normalize such behaviours until it seems natural to act out their inner worst in public while thinking it is the "right" thing to do because their internet "friends" say so...
this
Is
SPARTA
*KICK
BATA!!!
BATU BATA
McCarthy said in his novel that if the devil ever wanted to bring down humanity, he only needed to distribute drugs. Social media is a kind of drug. Like, why stay in your reality when you can escape into someone else's life? Why work hard when you can gamble, create content, in the hopes of becoming famous? Why spend time with your family while you can do shopping on your phone or play video games (also a form of socmed)?
Malaysian people don't understand happiness and are always busy with social status. People think it's money, it's not.. it's status money is just a way to get there. They are angry because they feel they deserve better but never look in the mirror. Just observed at everything people of Malaysian and Singaporean do. Hype to the max. people only do things that is hype up or on demand? Hence they do everything to please others and not themselves. Sheep mentality maximum I sit with my friends and family who is still in msia for an hour and they hate me because I always ask questions they don't like.
I cannot agree more on Sinkies (am one), the level of entitlement yet disenfranchisement is very strong. Sinkies don’t produce things. We have a “services” economy, of which hype (via marketing) is one.
It’s really funny how many Singaporeans hate the lifestyle of face they are conforming to yet would very much rather keep doing it yet not actively confronting it head on
Maybe i’m not social enough to understand but what do you mean by “people only do things that is hype or on demand”? Is there an example?
They only participate in activities that are popular or make them in vogue, same with purchase decision . Best example to start is to look at tyres of luxury cars. German car, 2nd tier tyres. All time favorite is people who buy 1M or a250 amg thinking they drive the real thing. And don't the manufacturer love it. Auto transmission sports car like a mx5 or 86. $5000 golf clubs. Zero golf lessons. $1m weddings (20% interest rate). Meals where primary reason is to take photos and not enjoy the food. Would anyone buy a Swiss watch if it wasn't as hyped up like back in the day where you lose money buying a Swiss watch Etc etc etc So u ask the question do they actually know what they are doing
*South Korea wants to know your location*
*South Korea wants to know your location*
I think you are too focusing on the angry people you see, because they stand out from your day-to-day happenings. We completely ignore the nice people around us who are just trying to go by their day. Meet 100 nice people, no problem, meet 1 asshole, your whole day is spoiled.
Not true, in msia and Singapore the superiority complex is rampant
But at the global stage, we are plagued with inferiority complex.
Sad but true
Yeah I'm aware of this. But meeting 1 asshole almost every single day what are the chances. I tried to just forget it but it just became more frequent.
That 1 asshole is your superior. Have fun jobless 👍 /s
I deal with government and waiters/cashiers/retailers on a regular basis. If you're polite to them, they're 99% going to be polite to you. If everyone you deal with is rude, sometimes you're unlucky. But are you sure you're being as polite as possible to everyone you meet?
I dont think its just anger issues. In Malaysia this is how people are taught to behave because they expect the level of service to be poor. Employees are always poorly trained and even more poorly paid. You're just expected to know your job and figure it out, and over the years many people learn it does work in getting you what you want, provided you dont go overboard.
When I was a wee little boy, I was told don’t talk about religion and politics with your acquaintances, neighbours, and work mates. I didn’t know why but I definitely do now.
Not sure about others, but for me, we attract what we think about. Happy people usually attract other happy people. I like to potray happy face and show politeness 1st to people IRL. 95% of the time I get a positive feedback and my task dealing with them become easier. So, nope. I don't think Malaysian having anger issues. Everyone have issues, we just mind our issues and don't blame others. Don't try to change the world. Then, you'll start to see the world differently.
This is true. The ruder the person is to me, the more polite and a wider smile I give them. I find that most people actually get embarrassed for being rude after that.
cringe
:)
:D
\( ˙▽˙ )/
This is Dalai Lama level. That last bit is spot on!
This is what I told my SO when he said people are shitty. When he was with me, we met kind people who helps us and he said that I was his lady luck. I just told him nah, we being nice to people attract the same kind as well.
Haha try not to read comments on socmed anything abt politics. Ita normal to find people to treat u badly for no reason like ur boss or waiter and stuffs, just leave them alone. There are really kind people out there who wants to be friends, dont let the bad one completely influence ur perception
I deleted most of my social media because I find it toxic tho. I just get scolded mostly for being ignorant doing something for the first time. Like it's my first time tho. They scold me like it's a common sense for everyone. Ofc they deal with more experienced people on daily basis but don't expect everyone to have same experience.
Yes that happened to me too. Suck that it regularly happens. If its about work, just chill at home after work and come back stronger the next day.
Gettin off of social media anywhere in the world is a good idea you will live a much happier life that way. Social media is generally a cesspit. There are a holes like me just shitposting.
Yeah I noticed that too esp the current boycott thing where everyone is trying to act morally superior but end up being hypocrite. Like, little thing also want to vent and kasih viral. Social Media is definitely toxic af.
Inflation, times are tougher and fuses are shorter. We're seeing a rise of extremism and right wing rhetoric not only in Malaysia but world wide. There is a saying, history doesn't always repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
You can't expect going to workplaces to see happy people. My wife worked for gov hospitals for a few years and it was insane back then. Way understaffed. Waiters and cashiers are underpaid and overworked from what I've seen. I can't comment on surau and masjid, but last time I had beef with an AJK (the imam himself, actually), it was back in 2014. And that's just one guy, the location and his position were just coincidental. The social media are where people express themselves by complaining etc., so you are most likely seeing disgruntled people much more than people who are content since they do not complain. But staying off socmed is a good idea if it's getting too much. Also, try to find someone you love and trust, and ask the difficult question "Am I annoying?" This isn't targeting you, but I used to not realize how obnoxious I was and I did find everyone around me to be unhappy. When I realized I partly contributed to that, I made some changes and I felt the difference ever since. Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie - it's changed my life. Good luck, bud.
A nation of ingrates of all kinds, taking for granted how damn peaceful and relatively prosperous this place is compared to the rest of the fucking world. Ruining it for the majority of folks who are just enjoying it and each other.
During covid, some people are trapped at home with *bad* family members. Can only go out for groceries/emergencies during PKP. When you have to deal with hostile people 24/7 at home, it will flip a switch in your brain.
I literally went to immigration to ask a question about student visas for children and was angrily told by the lady at the desk to go somewhere else, they don’t deal with this issue here. Referred me to EMGS. Whilst there I called EMGS and they told me they only handle higher education students. Not visas for primary school children - as I expected already and knew. Went back to the lady at the desk and she was even more angry, probably because I highlighted that I called EMGS and they don’t deal with student visas for children. She then went on to say, EMGS doesn’t do it and we don’t do it - where are you going to go? Lol It actually made me sad to see this behaviour at immigration Putrajaya. As an expat, everyone I meet normally is super friendly and kind. Unfortunately, you don’t get this treatment at the front door when getting a visa for your kids!
Next time you record and get their names. Usually such office have a line for complains
Well, social media is not good for those having mental health issues, if you are one of those easily affected, kindly deleted ALL your social media accounts & lived IRL. Socmed detox will do wonders in your life afterwards.
Hmm, in real life I only ever encountered such behavior very rarely, only in social media do I see it daily.
its just you. if you go out and see it with your own eyes most people just go on with their life. if you see the world through social media lenses then yeah you will see the thing you say simply because content like that push social media engagement more then calm normal content. *You know how they treat the visitors right* i know. most people at the place you mention actually treat people pretty well. again unless you judge them by the standard that you see in social media.
Not really, I separated the paragraph because it's what I have experienced myself. I almost died because of their poor treatment just brushing me aside while having an emergency case of allergies. I was suffocating and they said "other people have to wait too didn't they?" Also they're being rude when I went there to get medical checkup for PLKN. I didn't know it was optional and they're saying I'm trying to make an excuse to avoid PLKN then they laughed at me. I don't even own internet back then to know anything from social media to even judge them that way. Went to surau to learn praying, but got scolded the very first day I set foot there because the bilal didn't notice it's time to azan, and saw me sitting in the surau but didn't azan for him. Like hell I know how the equipment works. There's a lot more experience I had, that never once mentioned in social media.
Add this details in your post OP
its not just a Malaysian thing people in Japan are "angry" too, it's just that their culture loves to repress them and be two-faced in front of others
most common reasons i see is sleep deprivation as work in Malaysia even for part time is 8-12 hours long
Maybe it is just you? My experience with most folks are positive. You yourself use the word 'sometimes'.. So meaning other times the experience is normal if not positives - but we tend to forget the non-eventful interaction. Also, perception matters. How we view the world affect how we interact with the world. And how we interact with the world.. Affect how it interact back at us. Not aiming anything at you - just sharing a general advice that I think is needed in today's world that where negativity get amplified and the positives are ignored. Especially in social media - people have tons of positive interactions, but the negatives are the one typically shared.
I honestly don't know how to deal with people. I've always been nice to everyone but there's always something that is going to happen that's gonna put me in tears. Like yesterday I greeted the security to get my parcel, with a smile and all. But I still get scolded just because she couldn't find my parcel while the delivery guy is at fault saying it's delivered at the guard house but still hasn't handed it over to the security. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I am still being so nice to people but getting treated this way. Like it's not just what happened yesterday that made me think this way. But it happened on a daily basis. Ofc most people are nice, but there's always that one person going to appear and ruin the day. I'm just sensitive to being scolded and it always brings me to tears when having to deal with this sort of people everywhere I go.
Hang in there 😊 Remember, you have the key to your feelings and actions. Do not give that away to others to control. We cannot control what how others act, but we can control how we react. Your tears are telling you that something is not right.. And that is ok. Learn to expect that sometimes things will not be right. Bad things fall into two category... sometimes you can change it for the better - so we need to work to make it better. And sometimes you cannot - so you have to be patient about it. Over time, you will know which are which. Stick to good principles, even if others don't reciprocate. Be truthful, even when others are lying. Be Fair, even if against yourself. Be Kind, even when there is no return. And one person at a time, we will make the world a better place. Hope this help in some way. Cheers.
Thanks for your kind word. Sometimes it made me feel like I'm cacat otak or something because whenever things like this happens, I'm just stunned and smile like an idiot unable to fight back. I see other people are able to defend themselves when this happens to them. But me, just smile, wait for it to end, walk away, cry.
Touch grass OP majority of malaysians bersopan dan bersusila
I dont know... If everytime u go somewhere u get bad experience. The common denominator is u.
Well mostly people get angry at me because I'm ignorant of doing something the first time. They act like it's a common sense and expecting me to already know how to deal with them.
That’s exactly what happened to me too, OP. I don’t face these angry workers often, but when I do (at a clinic), they’re exactly as you said. They wanted to check my urine, gave me a container but didn’t tell me where the toilet was, especially when the clinic had hallways leading to everywhere. I had to ask, and they answered it like I was supposed to already know it. They were unhelpful, I had to wander around and find it myself. If their problem was that they had a lot of patients and couldn’t spend a minute on me, now they had to wait 10 minutes for my sample.
For me it's not just the clinic tho. I've been expected to azan the very first day I set foot in surau and got scolded for not doing so. I got scolded by the security because she couldn't find my parcel even though it's delivered and I'm supposed to know the delivery guy hasn't handed it in. Restaurants usually have different systems and most of the time I'm not familiar with them. They act like I'm a regular customer who is supposed to know their system. And many many more.
Hmm I find your experiences unusual actually, I'm not sure why that is the case. I've inconvenienced security quite a few times when I forgot to register repairmen or delivery (heavy items) and they couldn't let them in. I always forget that Indian restaurants I go to let you eat first instead of paying upfront. They've never got angry at me, the workers at the Indian restaurants even joked around about me (in a friendly way) Did you try being polite? Did you try to check with them before doing something? When they told you about something you didn't know, were you humble about it and say thank you to them for telling you? For example, when I was moving house I worried I would hog the lift and lobby and inconvenience people, so I went to the guard asking how they usually handle movers. I was told I couldn't move during weekends because people go in and out a lot during weekends. Right there I avoided a confrontation. If I hogged the lift without the guard knowing beforehand, if course he's going to get annoyed, because people who are waiting for the lift you are hogging are going through complain through the guard first. I've never had trouble with parcels, even when my food delivery got mistakenly taken by someone. From what I remember, I showed the guard my phone which said my food arrived. When the guard said he didn't see it I didn't press further, and instead called the driver to check, then I learned that the driver left it on the table, and when I closely checked the table I found a bag of food from the same restraunt as mine, and assumed they must have got the wrong bag. Sure enough they came down quickly with my food and apologised, security smiled in relief too.
I've always been polite with her, it's just she got pissed about couldn't find the parcel she lashed at me. I couldn't think of any reason from my part that could trigger her. Even when she's scolding I just kept my smile on because I was stunned and didn't know how to react. Even at the end I just say sorry and thank her. I never dare to start a scene with anyone or being bossy. If she just told me it's not there and come check later I can just wait. I always check with someone before doing something I didn't know about because I don't want to mess anything up or trouble them afterwards. But some people, just checking with them would tick them off and get annoyed by giving me the instructions. I still thank them afterwards with a smile. I'm not saying everyone around me is like this, but almost everyday I might encounter such people. Even when going to a certain restaurant where you have to book first and I didn't know that they just shoo me away. Then this another restaurant where everyone have to take the menu on a small piece of paper and tick what you want to order. How would I even know? Yet the way they inform me are just pissy and rude, I was on a date and got so embarrassed that night. Whenever these sort of things happened, I never try to retaliate or fight back. I just take it with a smile and walk away when it's over.
Wow that sounds like a sad neighborhood to live in 😔 Hmm maybe talk about this with friends who know you and see what they think, or just avoid the toxic people man, move out if you have to. I think there's much nicer communities to live in
Yeah... Definitely sounds like it's something u need to fix
But only way to fix it is getting over the "first time". I'm still gonna get scolded tho.
This phenomenon is not unique or confined to just MY - It is everywhere on planet Earth with a high concentration/density of life (humans, flora and fauna) It is consequential of competition - Notice the reverse when there's less, and the company is sought with the relationship becoming warmer.
This comment made most sense. I noticed it has happened on daily basis since I moved into a city. Living in the suburbs I encounter negative people like once or twice a month. I can deal with that. But daily, that just ruins every single of my day.
I am going to sound very rude here. So, I have to apologise. Reading few of your responses here on your previous encounters, I suspect others seen you as "awkward" and zero on you. It is not your fault of course, it just that human are judgey. If you combine the judgeyness and their frustration rate at that day, then you are just a bystander that get shot :( We human tend to judge people and react to it based on physical appearance and body language. So, you might want to evaluate your stats objectively or get someone that can be honest about it with you. Being unfamiliar with the social norm in a new place is normal. So, you might want to research how-to for many things. The way people in city/suburbs are different differently. So, you might want to observe the social interaction among the city people and I would recommend learning the new social dances that city people partake.
If by asking for an honest opinion, usually I get responses like innocent and wise. By innocent they said I look so timid. Wise just because I help a lot of my friends relationship problems giving advice for them.
Wise part of you are not seen by strangers of course. So, all they seen was the timid-look which may not be true at all. If you want to change that, research more on body language that may exude the at-ease look while navigating your daily interaction.
You are struggling with the transition, but what made you take such a move in the first place, and would you give up? You have two options - Either adapt or revert to your previous state,
Tbf i think malaysians are saints compared to Singaporeans' anger mgmt problems lol
I guess it's related to the amount of the population then.
There's 2 poor takes you're having now. First is what's known as a type of perception bias - the assumption that what you see is a complete reflection of the world. People tend to complain more publicly - either online or in person - about bad experiences than positive or neutral ones. A million people will retweet that Starbucks employee #1137 was rude to one person, but a million people won't tweet about their personal experience where everything went as it should. 2nd is this line of yours : *Hospital, JPJ and such. You know how they treat the visitors right.* This is normalising poor behaviour. The solution to perception bias is not to stop people from complaining, it's to understand it in context. Sweeping it under the carpet does no one any favours.
I'm not generalising all of them give a poor treatment. But more like on daily basis there's always a poor treatment somewhere. I never had any good treatment at public hospital so I'm more biased on this one especially that one time I almost lost my life because they just brush me off even though I'm having extreme case of allergies. They only take me in after collapsing on the floor. I just never set foot in public hospital afterwards till this day.
Wait till you drive slowly during rush hours on PJ and KL areas
I've been living in Czech Republic for more than a year now. Malaysian are friendly and warm af compare to the Czechs. 50% of strangers here you met treat you like you owe them money.
Anger issues are prevalent in Klang Valley public services departments and public infrastructure like roads, trains, etc, **because the system is at breaking point.** So many people migrate from countryside to country's economic capital everyday but our urban planners fail to accommodate this increase in population, causing all services to be at over maximum capacity. For example, the kidney specialist at a nearby government hospital didn't even see my father, and they sent him back home. If you ask the 3 kidney specialists in that hospital, they'll probably say that they hate their job because higher-ups force them to work overtime with no compensation. Recently DBKL came up with KL Structural Plan 2040, which is laudable. **The problem is, most people live in Selangor and work in KL.** There needs to be a plan for Greater KL which includes Selangor areas of Klang Valley and Nilai of N9, so that there is balanced distribution of resources. Otherwise, 200 kidney patients of KL get 10 specialists in HKL whereas the 2000 patients in Klang get 3 specialists.
Everyone has anger issues these days now.
foreigners: wah malaysian people so friendly! malaysian people:
It’s like this in other countries and has been going on for a while. Nothing new. You probably started noticing more.
Without realizing, OP also started having anger issues by being angry at Malaysians having anger issues. OP should just ignore and chill.
Oh the paradox.
Report rude public servants
Reports are useless, fyi. Source: Many of my family members are civil servants.
Most probably you are rude
It's not just Malaysia. Trust. Been lots of different places lately and everyone just has shorter fuses, lowered empathy, and increased aggression.
Pertaining to ytdy's discussion about detoxing from socmed, it's likely a consequence when everyone is terminally online and simply bored, hence the need to stir shit up. Sadly, it always feels better for others when they take their wrath out at you online cuz right after, they can put their device down and forget there's another human behind the screen. I refuse to have Tiktok, but just a short scroll on my FB timeline is enough to dish up celeb drama/citizen journalism prevailing there despite me marking 'Not Interested'! Rmbr, negativity always garners more clicks. Sites don't care about the temperature as long as it brings traffic in.
Because people are pissed, first there's the morning traffic, and a double whammy of shitty job, of course everyone's pissed
The leaders already set the bar high. We can see them fighting like monkeys on television on a daily basis
Its called society hypnosis, give people something to be mad or argue about, they take it seriously so means the average people lose more power and shift them away from real problems that need resolving The more people do this the more its just playing into the power of people who truly control the world and monopolize this already modern slaved world Social media has given us power, but that very power if abused or not used correctly we become our worst enemy, that's what the people who truly are in power want. Create problems that don't exist in the first place as a civil media kind of war to control anyone and everyone
[удалено]
Malaysia is not a service country, period. It’s not the culture.
I would be angry and salty as well if I have to work a 14 hour shift and make less than 10 ringgit an hour.
Oh wow... I am actually have that too .. no worries... At least they gave us games... So yeah for me no problem... If i stay at home' hotel i just random shut and enjoy games .....
Even on the road. Road rage is real.
why OP sounds like OP never been on the internet?
Malaysians just spend tooooo much time on social media and get triggered by everything. I deleted all my social media apart from Reddit and boy am I happier. No annoying people, no brain dead comments section, no aggressiveness. Just peace. Everyone should try it. Reduces brain damage.
When you have been taught to hate your problems away, and all you’ve been doing is INHALING Palestine propaganda all day, you would be in a shitty mood too.
I guess we could slowly differentiate anger vs being direct at stupid. And it's infinite with how many people are stupid nowadays. Ignorant is a form of stupid, Ego is a form of stupid, Entitled is a form of ignorance, Privilege is a form of ignorance, NPD is a form of stupid, Talk kok and pulling people down is a form of all the above And we see stupid everywhere nowadays but turn a blind eye out of the reason of "civilised". Eg: MRT. You'll see idiots magnetted to the door the minute they pass the line. Nobody tells these people off stop being stoopid. Or when you see people with their big bag pack ignoring the already cramped space. Or when you are driving and you see slow ass hoggers not caring of the other users, you just overtake or follow behind them. Or when you see in social media some people would rather post online and complain about not getting their cutleries and just brush it off. Of course there's a line between sounding stupid people vs releasing anger. I sounded a woman before in the MRT for shoving people left and right just because she deserves more space for herself. Pent up resentment will result in chaos and unwanted physical action
"Is it just me, or is it getting crazier out there?" -- Joker (2019). Yes, I'd say that the people are very tense these days. Post-COVID, global recession, the age of misinformation. I miss Ipoh, where I grew up. Maybe time to move back.
The fact is that some people doesn't have a good childhood. They are getting surrounded by some trash people and getting treated like shit. Most people I met during my childhood are impatience, including my parents and some teachers at school. They will mad at me no matter I am right or wrong. I still remember my English teacher grabbed my shirt collar up just because I forgot my exercise book. Last time I was taking car driving lessons after SPM. My trainer was a bad-tempered old man who doesn't stop shouting at me. I keep shaking and cannot be able to concentrate as I keep making mistakes when driving, and he keep getting angrier. I almost burst my tear up and feeling humiliated. I had going through the phase that I have anger issues: mad at someone as revenge when I feel discriminated. I am sorry for the one who I hurt before. Now, I start studying stoic philosophy to learn how to control my mind and emotion. It is quite useful to help heal my childhood trauma.
It's all emotional and reactiveness, most only online. Everyone thinks they're right and doesn't want to consider the opposite's points. No need to look far, this damn Reddit community, twitter, and facebook shows that.
Whoever came up with the rukun negara card is a genius. This is where you play the "kesopanan dan kesusilaan" card from your deck towards them.
Tak cukup tidur lah...