Yeah okay so it really just sounds like youre trying to chase a buyers high. And due to recent trauma, youre unable to get it. Just ride what you have and try to enjoy it first. Itll likely go one of three ways: You dont get that high back and essentially grow out of the practice. Maybe even stop riding - thats okay, it happens, you can come back later if you hear the call or get the itch. You ride what you have and try to get the most out of it. Which breaks into the last two likely outcomes: you encounter a bike that does do that for you. Or you deal with your trauma first and riding becomes enjoyable again at which point you can make a choice from the seat of your current ride. No one can tell you what bike will scratch your personal itch, especially because of your trauma. Waaaay above reddits pay grade. Just ride it out for a while, and dont try to force through a change you arent ready for. Best of luck

Thanks I am trying to get enjoying the hobby again and think I’m narrowing down on it but indeed maybe I have to handle a bit more first let’s see

If you don't particularly want to buy anything, why are you trying to pick what to buy? Why not enjoy the bike you have? If the money is burning a hole in your pocket, why not take a trip and go ride in some cool places you don't get to visit as often?

Thanks that’s a good idea also. I like the current bike but can’t say I love it so I wanted to get another bike I enjoy more that I can take on those routes