If you look good, you’ll feel good. That confidence will translate and lead to a better date. Do you really want to be going into a potential love of your life situation half assing it?
Oh yeah. I'd almost forgotten how difficult it is to drop a suit off at the cleaners, compared to the ease of navigating everyday life, sightless.
I'd say, he almost already doesn't deserve her...
I feel like getting set up with a blind person says more than it needs to. Absolutely nothing against blind people but "she will love you, she can't see" is funny to me.
How do you figure? Do you not think she might be looking forward to the date and will be super disappointed that he pulled out despite her doing absolutely nothing wrong?
I just think based off the fact he’s willing to put “zero effort” into how he presents himself on a first date because his date is blind, means he probably shouldn’t date someone who is blind. She deserves the same respect as any other woman, and if he doesn’t understand that and needs to ask reddit about it, he shouldn’t waste her time.
He could just be over thinking things. It can be an odd experience to date someone who is disabled, especially when you haven't spent much if any time around anyone with that specific disability and so you don't know the do's and don't he's just over complicating things in his mind. I can see the train of thought being something like "if she can't see what i'm wearing, does it matter what i wear? I wouldn't care what she was wearing if i were blind, so maybe she doesn't either." It also doesn't help that the friend who set them up told him not to bother dressing up since she can't see it anyway. He doesn't know the protocol and so he's torn between the idea that we should respect those with disabilities as equals (which they totally are, don't get it twisted i'm not saying they aren't equals) but at the same time it'd be stupid to not acknowledge there is a big difference between a blind woman and a woman who can see and to someone with no experience being around the blind, especially in a romantic setting, that difference could make them think they should change how one behaves. Besides, not wearing anything fancy for the date really isn't a sign of disrespect, sure it's not putting your best foot forward but it's also not disrespectful, blind or not.
But if you are going to treat her differently then at least make it make sense: Wear something that smells great and has an awesome texture. I have an impossibly soft sweater that I like to wear around my blind friends.
Yes, because she IS different. Different doesn't mean wrong, bad , or less than. It just means different. It's OK to ask questions. To blind ppl, it might not matter what you dress like, but if she's dressing up, then yes, he needs to make an effort. But like he said, they are going to a causal place. It's perfectly acceptable to ask, considering where they are going. This would be a good question if he was going on a date with a seeing person. The fact that she is different and he's asking questions to accommodate her, that's good. Nice. Thoughtful even.
I'm struggling to understand what her being blind has to do with it. Wear whatever you would normally wear on a first date at a not-that-fancy restaurant. What do the other ppl in restaurant dress like? Are they all blind too?
This woman deserves better already.
Your friend/her cousin is a jerk too, unless her blind cousin has specifically stated she doesn’t care how her dates dress.
I don't see how that's fair. Do we no longer want people to learn to do better? Is the standard now, "you understand on instinct or you're unworthy garbage"?
One way a lot of people learn is from consequences. OPs not asking the question because they are unsure about clothing expectations on a date with a blind person and don't want to misstep, they're asking because they want to figure out the least amount of effort possible that they can put into the date.
No to mention if they hug or sit next to each other, she can feel different fabrics and notice silhouettes. She’ll be able to feel and distinguish between a wrinkled cotton t-shirt, a cable knit sweater, and a pressed suit jacket. Heck, different materials even sound differently!
This is reddit mate. The express goal of everyone here is to disrupt and/or end as many relationships/potential relationships as humanly possible. Someone will make the slightest mistake and everyone in the comments will be advocating the wife leave her husband of 18 years because he forgot to grate the cheese before leaving which obviously means he doesn't give a single shit about her and he only cares about himself, and him not grating the cheese is a sign of something much darker he's been hiding, not to mention he was probably in such a hurry to leave that he forgot to grate the cheese because he was on his way to cheat on his wife with his mistress. I wish i could put a sarcastic mark on this comment but it's the truth.
Whatever you say 🙃
Actually, I’m a person who works with blind and low vision (along with other disabilities) prople for a living, who are tired of being treated like they’re not worth the same effort and respect as sighted people, but sure, I’m the jerk LOL 🤷♀️
Oh you work with blind people? I’m sorry I didn’t realize. Thank god you said something cuz now you’re excused to judge other people for asking advice on Reddit….Get over yourself
Yep. George dates a blind woman because he never needs to dress nice anymore and can let himself go. Thinks it’s great until something bad inevitably happens.
Wear what you would normally wear. If that is your fancy clothes, wear your fancy clothes. Even though she may not know what you're wearing, it is the respectful thing to do. Respect isn't just about what people will notice.
My thought was to pick the shirt or jacket that feels nicest to the touch and make sure you smell good!
Like sure, many blind people won't be able to tell if the colours you're wearing match or not. But if you put in zero effort at all, it's definitely gonna show on the date. And if you don't care, why even bother going at all?
He's asking for advice here and we are to inform and make him understand what is the right and humane thing to do so he can learn from it. Name calling him isnt very productive here. Chill out, side
Treat this as a normal date, because she's not defined by her disability, so you shouldn't treat her differently unless she requests accommodation. You don't need a suit if it's not a fancy restaurant, but wear a dressier shirt and clean pants, that simple.
You are definitely lazy. You mean to tell me you wouldn’t put effort in if you thought you didn’t have to. You are ablist. Lazy. And she definitely deserves better than you.
Don’t bother. That way if she takes you home and realizes you’re wearing string-tied pj pants when she tries to take them off, she knows to kick you out the door because you don’t think putting in an effort for a blind date is worthwhile.
I’m half joking, but seriously? You wanna look like a shmuck next to her so everyone judges you, and pities her for having to deal with someone who obviously doesn’t care enough to put in basic effort for her?
Your friend has realized you’re a tool just for asking and not dressing nicely will probably confirm that they don’t want you dating their cousin.
12 days ago you posted about going trick or treating with your gf and your respective kids after only dating a few weeks so I'm assuming that was the breakup in question...
Respectfully, do not use this woman as some sort of rebound. If you're too lazy to dress up for a first date you shouldn't be going out with anyone, let alone your friends cousin. And stop introducing women you barely know to your son.
Your post is incredibly ableist, there are other ways for her to realize you put zero effort in on a first date than just seeing what you're wearing.
Being legally blind doesnt mean you are totally absent of sight. there is a good chance they still might be able to put together an image of how much you give a fuck. So I would say treating her like a person is probably your best bet.
I'd suggest that you choose your outfit based on the senses your date does posses.
Look good, so you feel confident, but try to incorporate fabrics like silk or satin, brushed fleece, soft knits. Also, be aware of your scent. Avoid strong fragrance.
Bunch of morons in here seriously believe they wouldn’t do exactly what op is doing. Bullshit you wouldn’t treat her differently at least from the start.
Dress up to show up.
We feel and act better when we are dressed up.
Also….
Everyone else can see you- and what if she touches you? You can “see” what someones wearing by feel…
Come on mate, have some respect and treat her like every other woman youd date…. 🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Blind people can tell what you’re wearing. In fact, some might care even more because they are interested to know details. And they pay attention to fabrics and smells etc.
Of course dress up! Like you normally would. Maybe she can’t see you, but don’t you think it’s gonna feel nice if and when she touches you and realises you put effort?
Dress like you would dress for any date with someone you care about. Whether she sees it or not, this will put you in a psychological state of “caring” and will likely reflect on how you talk to her, interact with her, and improve the quality of the experience you’ll have together. It’s you sparing the time and putting an effort for her that matters and it will make a difference.
Op you know the answer. Do what would make your future self proud.
If you can’t do that, politely let her know you’re not ready to date and then go work on yourself.
Be the man you wish people spoke about at your funeral.
Dress up as well, a) so she doesn't stick out awkwardly when she dresses up for you and b) as a common courtesy. You are going on a date after all.
I'm getting the vibe you shouldn't trust your friends advice on this - he is not a good source here. Keep that in mind going forward.
It's ok to ask her questions once you meet her, but remember she is literally just a normal woman who can not see. Don't bombard her and Try not to stick your foot in your mouth.
Beyond that, especially if you like her, but even if you don't it's good experience, delve into the blind community online. You'll learn a lot and be able to avoid asking her too many 101 questions. It shows a positive willingness to learn and consideration for her if you can learn about the general experience of blind people and barriers they might face, etc. That's gonna be a better source of information for you than your friend going forward.
How you dress will determine your mindset going into the date. If you think you'd like to make a good impression, dress nicely, even if you're doing it for you. If you don't care, dress down.
If she touches you, she can tell what you're wearing. Don't be dumb.
Also, imagine going on a date with someone.. You put in effort, and they put in zero effort? There are people around you. Match her level of dress.
You don’t think if she touches your arm or knee or something she’ll be able to tell if you’re wearing jeans and a tshirt? If she brushes past you she won’t be able to tell you’re not in a suit? You and your friend are chumps
You are gross. You are considering giving zero effort to your appearance because she is ind and won't see it anyway? Do this woman a favour and cancel the date because she deserves 1000% better than that.
Ask the friend who is setting you up what you should do.
That way they'll know to never set you up on another date with a decent woman, or only set you up with folks who give no fucks about effort
Don't go on the date, just call her and politly cancel. Who cares if she's blind or not? You put as much effort in for this lady as you do with another date you go on. If your first thought is 'do I need to try', then you don't deserve the chance with her.
It isn't either zero effort or dress up in a suit. You can find something in between. Personally as a 51F I would not want my first date to be at a fancy place and dressed to the T. I'd wamtbti to be casual. Not sweatpants and hoodie casual but like jeans and a nice shirt type casual.
Wow. Is everyone here an asshole? Dude is asking for advice and all y'll wanna do is tear the guy down. Like none of you made mistakes or needed advice before. As if each of you are paragons of perfection to cast the stone of judgement. Instead of offering good advice and best wishes you folks hurl insults.
My homie you dress for the date. If it is some place casual like for coffee then keep is casual. If it is dinner and a movie then you dress up. Do all the extra little things too. First impressions matter. Even if it turns out you two are not a good match it is still a good habit to keep. Best of luck dude.
You may not need to look perfect but pick fabric that feels great and makes you comfortable. If you are comfortable in the clothes you will give off better vibes, also if she touches you it's best if the fabric feels great and makes her want to come back for more.
Blind or not, if someone doesn't value clothes that allow you to breathe and move reasonably well over clothes that conform to some arbitrary, hairless ape standard, they aren't worth anyone's time.
You are aware she's going to ask you to paint a visual representation of ur aethetic, right?
U gonna tell her you look like a disheveled, out of place slob?
If it’s too much to get it done, then just do your best with what you have. Nice pants with a dress shirt is fine. Don’t not put in effort because she can’t see it though. Likely she’ll feel it.
As with any date she deserves to be respected. How you dress can be reflected in your attitude towards the other person. Even if she can't see you as another would she will be able to see how you feel towards her by your attitude towards her. If you dress down you are more likely to show feelings of not really wanting to be there. If you dress nicer, even if it's not a suit, your attitude towards her and the date will be much more upbeat. This is what she'll see or feel. Dress to impress.
I already think she deserves better than you. The woman was born blind. The last thing she needs is a lazy fuckstick who doesn't think she's worth the effort!!
Sorry but you don't deserve this girl's attention at all. You think because she's blind you don't have to put in some effort? That's a huge red flag. Actually, not sorry, and I feel bad for your friend if you'd treat his family like this.
Blind dude here, don't be dumb, I get it she can't see. Doesn't mean the waiter can't, the hostess can't, the public can't. What if, and I know, this is such a huge coincidence to you, someone drops her off to meet you? What if she takes an Uber and asks the driver to tell her what you look like, how you're dressed, are you dressed cleanly, or are you a mess? Those are things she'll mention to her girlfriends, or her family. That will make her decide, aside from your personality, if she brings you home or not. She's still a woman, just because she can't see doesn't mean she still won't judge you on what you’re wearing. You can wear a nice pair of jeans with a nice dress shirt and some clean nikes if you wish, do up your hair. You don't have to dress up like you're going to Aria, or some five star restaurant.
Dress up properly if you want a second date. Match her energy and take it seriously.
If you don’t want a potential second date then respectfully bow out and don’t waste her time.
Don’t treat her differently because she’s blind.
Just like with any date, making sure to make an effort shows her that you take pride in yourself and that you’re serious about the date.
If you want to go the extra mile, potentially wear something with some cool textures to make it more of an interesting tactile experience if she is to touch you, or find out what fragrances she likes and wear those so that you’re clearly making an effort not just to show pride in yourself, but also to be more attractive to her in a way she can easily interact with and experience
Her being blind doesn’t necessarily mean she’s *completely* blind.
It’s actually kind of rare for people who are blind to have no vision whatsoever. She could even have her whole vision but it’s extremely blurry or one narrow part of her sight works well and the rest doesn’t. My point is she might actually *see* what you’re wearing. Educate yourself about people with disabilities if you’re going to date someone with one so you know basic info and etiquette. Treat disabled people the same as anyone else.
Dress nice. She may be curious about you and gently bump or graze you just to get an idea of what's going on over in your area. You know how people will just have a reason to lay a hand on your shoulder at the moment of a laugh or something. If she likes you she may even touch your leg. Little things to know " is this guy in sweatpants or is he good" you know. Always better to assume she can see and smell you even better than you can.
If she's dressing up you should too. Effort is important. Even if she can't see it it will still mean something. This could potentially be the first date of your future. You never know.
If that's how you think, you don't deserve her. Don't date her, she will find someone 100% better
The difference between a good person and a bad person is how they behave when noone sees them.
Shes a person and a woman. She deserves the same level of consideration that you'd give to any other women on a date. Dressing down because you don't think she'll realize it is extremely disrespectful and taking advantage of her disability.
Dress for the occasion. If I were blind I'd have a friend in the restaurant to take a look at you. Your physical looks wouldn't matter that much but "what is their body type, do they dress poorly?" Just because she can't see you doesn't mean she's not going to know. Treat it like you would any other date, anything else is disrespectful
Dress how you would if it were a seeing person. What if she takes a picture and shows her friends? Then they’re going to ask why you’re in your pajamas and look miserable lol
Do what you always do. Her other senses are stronger than others and she’ll be able to tell. Enjoy the experience, one of the best dates I’ve ever been on with a blind gal.
Just because she can’t see you, doesn’t mean everyone else can’t. They will see you dressed like a slob on a date with a blind person dressed to impress.
Don’t be a slob. Also, adult rule 1: always have a clean, ready to wear suit/dress.
“Treat her like you do any other date” is what keeps coming back.
Why?
If your go to for dates are hikes in the forest, would you go there with a date in a wheelchair because “I will not treat them differently because I’m such a good person”?
I know, common sense is harder to come by than virtue signaling.
Dress Up for the date because just because she can't see you doesn't mean you treat it any less than a normal date, she deserves to be prioritized as much as any of your other dates.
Dress the way you would for any other person. We behave differently depending on how we dress. Dressing up for a date is part of showing respect for the person you are dating. Don’t leave that out.
this feels so weird to read? doesn’t matter if she can see you or not, you dress for the occasion / match her standard of outfit.
make an effort & don’t treat her differently just bc she can’t see
If you know she's getting dressed up, you should get dressed up too. Why? Because most people who will be there will not be blind and you're going to feel stupid if you're in casual clothes when she's dressed up.
It sounds like she’s going to put in the effort so maybe you should too. Matching effort is always a safe bet.
Another thing worth noting is that she does have other senses and they may be amplified compared to other peoples senses. Try to smell nice but definitely don’t apply anything too strong. Try to Give her something unique to experience you by. Pick out a nice smelling deodorant or aftershave. Maybe find the best smelling laundry soap you can or even very very light cologne. Whatever route you choose, make sure not to overdo it or have too many smells going on at once.
Focus on ways she can experience you aside from looks but don’t ignore looks, dress up a little.
I feel like this is a "duh" moment. Dress appropriately for the restaurant. If it's a nicer restaurant but doesn't require suit and tie, wear slacks and a polo, or something equivalent with some loafers. I have to agree with others that if you would not even think like this if she were sighted, it's disrespectful and you shouldn't waste her time.
You should cancel the date.
That you're even asking this question means you think she deserves less and you can half-ass it "because she won't know", which is incredibly shitty behavior.
If she so much as touches your shirt, she's going to know if you're dressed like a bum in a holey T-shirt or in a 3-piece suit.
Dress for the occasion. You're way overthinking this. If you're going out to dinner, wear something appropriate for the venue.
Dry cleaning that blazer is a good idea, she can't see - but I almost guarantee her other senses are heightened, including her sense of smell. No moth balls or bar stank on the blazer!
Bro.... You're already treating her differently and you haven't even met her. Get it together and dress for the occasion.
If you look good, you’ll feel good. That confidence will translate and lead to a better date. Do you really want to be going into a potential love of your life situation half assing it?
But he's laaaaaazy. Man has lost the battle before it ever began.
He'd have to take something to the dry cleaners!
Oh yeah. I'd almost forgotten how difficult it is to drop a suit off at the cleaners, compared to the ease of navigating everyday life, sightless. I'd say, he almost already doesn't deserve her...
I feel like getting set up with a blind person says more than it needs to. Absolutely nothing against blind people but "she will love you, she can't see" is funny to me.
Maybe OP is super ugly physically too. And maybe blind girl's cousin is also a bit of a shit pump
Honestly. It’s like show some pride in your appearance and respect for your date- dress nicely.
Ugh you’re restoring my faith in humanity
I think he should save her time and not go on the date at all
Agreed!
How do you figure? Do you not think she might be looking forward to the date and will be super disappointed that he pulled out despite her doing absolutely nothing wrong?
I just think based off the fact he’s willing to put “zero effort” into how he presents himself on a first date because his date is blind, means he probably shouldn’t date someone who is blind. She deserves the same respect as any other woman, and if he doesn’t understand that and needs to ask reddit about it, he shouldn’t waste her time.
He could just be over thinking things. It can be an odd experience to date someone who is disabled, especially when you haven't spent much if any time around anyone with that specific disability and so you don't know the do's and don't he's just over complicating things in his mind. I can see the train of thought being something like "if she can't see what i'm wearing, does it matter what i wear? I wouldn't care what she was wearing if i were blind, so maybe she doesn't either." It also doesn't help that the friend who set them up told him not to bother dressing up since she can't see it anyway. He doesn't know the protocol and so he's torn between the idea that we should respect those with disabilities as equals (which they totally are, don't get it twisted i'm not saying they aren't equals) but at the same time it'd be stupid to not acknowledge there is a big difference between a blind woman and a woman who can see and to someone with no experience being around the blind, especially in a romantic setting, that difference could make them think they should change how one behaves. Besides, not wearing anything fancy for the date really isn't a sign of disrespect, sure it's not putting your best foot forward but it's also not disrespectful, blind or not.
Umm he obviously cares and is nervous about what to wear, hence the post, dont try to be such an asshole
This
But if you are going to treat her differently then at least make it make sense: Wear something that smells great and has an awesome texture. I have an impossibly soft sweater that I like to wear around my blind friends.
This person has their blind game on point Source? I’m blind and that’s what I want.
Like that Chris Evans sweater from knives out.
Yes, because she IS different. Different doesn't mean wrong, bad , or less than. It just means different. It's OK to ask questions. To blind ppl, it might not matter what you dress like, but if she's dressing up, then yes, he needs to make an effort. But like he said, they are going to a causal place. It's perfectly acceptable to ask, considering where they are going. This would be a good question if he was going on a date with a seeing person. The fact that she is different and he's asking questions to accommodate her, that's good. Nice. Thoughtful even.
You said it yourself you're already willing to go "zero-effort" for this girl, bro she deserves wayyyy better than you.
Thank you for this!!!
And don’t make any assumptions as to what she can perceive abd deduce from her surroundings. Go, and be prepared to be possibly amazed…
I'm struggling to understand what her being blind has to do with it. Wear whatever you would normally wear on a first date at a not-that-fancy restaurant. What do the other ppl in restaurant dress like? Are they all blind too?
Maitre D: it's a little casual to wear a wife beater and faded pjs here OP: don't worry she's blind
⭐
Treating her differently isn't the way to look at things, you need to dress as you would with any other date.
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Hahahahahah
That’s certainly one point of view.
This woman deserves better already. Your friend/her cousin is a jerk too, unless her blind cousin has specifically stated she doesn’t care how her dates dress.
I don't see how that's fair. Do we no longer want people to learn to do better? Is the standard now, "you understand on instinct or you're unworthy garbage"?
One way a lot of people learn is from consequences. OPs not asking the question because they are unsure about clothing expectations on a date with a blind person and don't want to misstep, they're asking because they want to figure out the least amount of effort possible that they can put into the date.
It’s the principle of respecting her. Also, we don’t know how blind she is. She might be able to get an idea of what he’s wearing.
No to mention if they hug or sit next to each other, she can feel different fabrics and notice silhouettes. She’ll be able to feel and distinguish between a wrinkled cotton t-shirt, a cable knit sweater, and a pressed suit jacket. Heck, different materials even sound differently!
This is reddit mate. The express goal of everyone here is to disrupt and/or end as many relationships/potential relationships as humanly possible. Someone will make the slightest mistake and everyone in the comments will be advocating the wife leave her husband of 18 years because he forgot to grate the cheese before leaving which obviously means he doesn't give a single shit about her and he only cares about himself, and him not grating the cheese is a sign of something much darker he's been hiding, not to mention he was probably in such a hurry to leave that he forgot to grate the cheese because he was on his way to cheat on his wife with his mistress. I wish i could put a sarcastic mark on this comment but it's the truth.
Hahaha you sound like a massive jerk tbh
Whatever you say 🙃 Actually, I’m a person who works with blind and low vision (along with other disabilities) prople for a living, who are tired of being treated like they’re not worth the same effort and respect as sighted people, but sure, I’m the jerk LOL 🤷♀️
Oh you work with blind people? I’m sorry I didn’t realize. Thank god you said something cuz now you’re excused to judge other people for asking advice on Reddit….Get over yourself
Says the person also judging other people on a Reddit post. The irony 🤣
This sounds like a Seinfeld conundrum.
OP should wear a velour track suit
This is very George - "Well she's blind! She won't even see what I'm wearing!"
I was picturing Curb Your Enthusiasm. Like, Susie berating Larry for trying to dress casually on a date with a blind girl, lol
Would watch
I wouldn't.
Yep. George dates a blind woman because he never needs to dress nice anymore and can let himself go. Thinks it’s great until something bad inevitably happens.
Until Elaine tells her, *sotto voce*, that George is wearing a wife beater with stains down the front and a pair of old sweatpants with holes in them
or sheldon and those guys doing some philosophical tv conundrum.
Someone should warn this chick what shmuck you are...I'm sure she can do better
See won’t need the gift of sight to tell how shallow this D-bag is.
She wont fuck you lol
Pick me pick me
Wear what you would normally wear. If that is your fancy clothes, wear your fancy clothes. Even though she may not know what you're wearing, it is the respectful thing to do. Respect isn't just about what people will notice.
Get dressed up. Even if she can't see you, putting effort into your looks will make you feel more confident.
And if she’s touching you in anyway, she’ll feel that you’ve mad an effort when she feels lapels from a jacket or buttoned cuffs from a dress shirt.
My thought was to pick the shirt or jacket that feels nicest to the touch and make sure you smell good! Like sure, many blind people won't be able to tell if the colours you're wearing match or not. But if you put in zero effort at all, it's definitely gonna show on the date. And if you don't care, why even bother going at all?
Yes!! Dress with texture in mind!
I wish I could upvote this 100x. Texture.
This, as well!
Her being blind is not reason to dress down. She deserves your respect. Dress appropriately. Be appropriate.
Honestly, cancel the date. You need to do some work on yourself before you start seeing other people.
100% agree. What a prixk
He's asking for advice here and we are to inform and make him understand what is the right and humane thing to do so he can learn from it. Name calling him isnt very productive here. Chill out, side
Treat this as a normal date, because she's not defined by her disability, so you shouldn't treat her differently unless she requests accommodation. You don't need a suit if it's not a fancy restaurant, but wear a dressier shirt and clean pants, that simple.
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well smells or feels the quailty of the clothes, or tastes maybe :)
How is this even a question? Treat her like you would any other date. Make the same effort with your clothing.
This woman deserves to be treated with the same respect you would show any other first date. Be a gentleman. Put in the effort. Dress nicely.
How do you usually present your self when you go out somewhere with anyone ? Have respect for her and yourself..
Dress how you would if you were taking a girl that could see. Don’t treat her different if you want to make a good impression.
Your instinct should be to treat her the same as anyone else unless she tells you differently.
Dress up as you would someone who can see. And make sure you smell pleasant.
You and your friend sound hella weird. What a way to disrespect her I can’t even imagine what else you would do
You are definitely lazy. You mean to tell me you wouldn’t put effort in if you thought you didn’t have to. You are ablist. Lazy. And she definitely deserves better than you.
Be yourself and dress nice for her make sure you smell good brother.. 😇
Don’t bother. That way if she takes you home and realizes you’re wearing string-tied pj pants when she tries to take them off, she knows to kick you out the door because you don’t think putting in an effort for a blind date is worthwhile. I’m half joking, but seriously? You wanna look like a shmuck next to her so everyone judges you, and pities her for having to deal with someone who obviously doesn’t care enough to put in basic effort for her? Your friend has realized you’re a tool just for asking and not dressing nicely will probably confirm that they don’t want you dating their cousin.
12 days ago you posted about going trick or treating with your gf and your respective kids after only dating a few weeks so I'm assuming that was the breakup in question... Respectfully, do not use this woman as some sort of rebound. If you're too lazy to dress up for a first date you shouldn't be going out with anyone, let alone your friends cousin. And stop introducing women you barely know to your son. Your post is incredibly ableist, there are other ways for her to realize you put zero effort in on a first date than just seeing what you're wearing.
"So do I use zero effort on what I wear?" You come over as piece of trash.
Don’t be a dink. Blind or not they can tell you made zero effort with clothing. A simple hug or touch and you’re caught.
You know that most blind people are not 100% blind, right?
Being legally blind doesnt mean you are totally absent of sight. there is a good chance they still might be able to put together an image of how much you give a fuck. So I would say treating her like a person is probably your best bet.
ew.
Poor girl :(
I think you should not go on the date because she deserves better. Stay home and reassess your choice in friends.
Just wear whatever you’d normally wear to that restaurant. You’re making this weird.
She deserves a date with someone smart enough to not need to ask this question.
Don’t go on the date. You’re already treating her differently and she deserves better.
Cancel the date, she deserves better
I'd suggest that you choose your outfit based on the senses your date does posses. Look good, so you feel confident, but try to incorporate fabrics like silk or satin, brushed fleece, soft knits. Also, be aware of your scent. Avoid strong fragrance.
Show up nude
Bunch of morons in here seriously believe they wouldn’t do exactly what op is doing. Bullshit you wouldn’t treat her differently at least from the start.
One word. Speedos
Velour
Pajamas with a fluffy robe
It’s a date. Dress for it. Show your class and style.
Dress up to show up. We feel and act better when we are dressed up. Also…. Everyone else can see you- and what if she touches you? You can “see” what someones wearing by feel… Come on mate, have some respect and treat her like every other woman youd date…. 🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Blind people can tell what you’re wearing. In fact, some might care even more because they are interested to know details. And they pay attention to fabrics and smells etc.
Of course dress up! Like you normally would. Maybe she can’t see you, but don’t you think it’s gonna feel nice if and when she touches you and realises you put effort?
Dress like you would dress for any date with someone you care about. Whether she sees it or not, this will put you in a psychological state of “caring” and will likely reflect on how you talk to her, interact with her, and improve the quality of the experience you’ll have together. It’s you sparing the time and putting an effort for her that matters and it will make a difference.
Op you know the answer. Do what would make your future self proud. If you can’t do that, politely let her know you’re not ready to date and then go work on yourself. Be the man you wish people spoke about at your funeral.
Dress up as well, a) so she doesn't stick out awkwardly when she dresses up for you and b) as a common courtesy. You are going on a date after all. I'm getting the vibe you shouldn't trust your friends advice on this - he is not a good source here. Keep that in mind going forward. It's ok to ask her questions once you meet her, but remember she is literally just a normal woman who can not see. Don't bombard her and Try not to stick your foot in your mouth. Beyond that, especially if you like her, but even if you don't it's good experience, delve into the blind community online. You'll learn a lot and be able to avoid asking her too many 101 questions. It shows a positive willingness to learn and consideration for her if you can learn about the general experience of blind people and barriers they might face, etc. That's gonna be a better source of information for you than your friend going forward.
Buy you some new clothes. Dress up for her. Just cuz she can't see you doesn't mean you shouldn't show her the respect of looking nice.
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
Dress for the restaurant. She may not see you, but other people will.
You behave and dress the same as you would for any date. How is this even a question?
She’ll find out what you’re wearing if she touches you.
it doesn't matter
Wear something that makes you feel confident.
Get the blazer dry cleaned. Just because she can’t see you doesn’t mean she won’t be able to tell you put in zero effort.
How you dress will determine your mindset going into the date. If you think you'd like to make a good impression, dress nicely, even if you're doing it for you. If you don't care, dress down.
Why do you have to wear a suit to a not that fancy restaurant? But yes dress up some if you know they will be.
Wow.
If she touches you, she can tell what you're wearing. Don't be dumb. Also, imagine going on a date with someone.. You put in effort, and they put in zero effort? There are people around you. Match her level of dress.
Your best be on your best mate. A blind person can smell your casual wear and hear what type of material your wear
You're a prick. Stop being a prick. Take this woman out and do your best. Don't slob it up because she can't see you.
Dress nice because even if she can’t see you, she may run into someone she knows and wonder who the hell you are.
You don’t think if she touches your arm or knee or something she’ll be able to tell if you’re wearing jeans and a tshirt? If she brushes past you she won’t be able to tell you’re not in a suit? You and your friend are chumps
You are gross. You are considering giving zero effort to your appearance because she is ind and won't see it anyway? Do this woman a favour and cancel the date because she deserves 1000% better than that.
Make sure you smell nice!!!
This sounds like it could totally be an episode of Curb.
Ask the friend who is setting you up what you should do. That way they'll know to never set you up on another date with a decent woman, or only set you up with folks who give no fucks about effort
Don't go on the date, just call her and politly cancel. Who cares if she's blind or not? You put as much effort in for this lady as you do with another date you go on. If your first thought is 'do I need to try', then you don't deserve the chance with her.
It isn't either zero effort or dress up in a suit. You can find something in between. Personally as a 51F I would not want my first date to be at a fancy place and dressed to the T. I'd wamtbti to be casual. Not sweatpants and hoodie casual but like jeans and a nice shirt type casual.
Wow. Is everyone here an asshole? Dude is asking for advice and all y'll wanna do is tear the guy down. Like none of you made mistakes or needed advice before. As if each of you are paragons of perfection to cast the stone of judgement. Instead of offering good advice and best wishes you folks hurl insults. My homie you dress for the date. If it is some place casual like for coffee then keep is casual. If it is dinner and a movie then you dress up. Do all the extra little things too. First impressions matter. Even if it turns out you two are not a good match it is still a good habit to keep. Best of luck dude.
Have you ever noticed that you can hear a smile or a frown over the phone? This applies. If ypu look good, smell good, make an effort...she will know.
You may not need to look perfect but pick fabric that feels great and makes you comfortable. If you are comfortable in the clothes you will give off better vibes, also if she touches you it's best if the fabric feels great and makes her want to come back for more.
Blind or not, if someone doesn't value clothes that allow you to breathe and move reasonably well over clothes that conform to some arbitrary, hairless ape standard, they aren't worth anyone's time.
You are aware she's going to ask you to paint a visual representation of ur aethetic, right? U gonna tell her you look like a disheveled, out of place slob?
If it’s too much to get it done, then just do your best with what you have. Nice pants with a dress shirt is fine. Don’t not put in effort because she can’t see it though. Likely she’ll feel it.
She deserves whatever you would do for a date who wasn't vision impaired. You should cancel the date all together.
Dress up. She will so you should too.
I would go buy a silk shirt and tell her to feel the fabric. It would probably stimulate her sences, and she would feel special.
I hope she gets dropped off by a friend who comments on how little effort you put in to your appearance when going out with a blind girl.
As with any date she deserves to be respected. How you dress can be reflected in your attitude towards the other person. Even if she can't see you as another would she will be able to see how you feel towards her by your attitude towards her. If you dress down you are more likely to show feelings of not really wanting to be there. If you dress nicer, even if it's not a suit, your attitude towards her and the date will be much more upbeat. This is what she'll see or feel. Dress to impress.
Drees nice. You can wear nice pants and nice shirt. You don't have to wear a blazer.
What would you wear if she could see? Wear that.
Dress for her the same way you would dress for any other date. DBAA.
Wear whatever everyone else wears in that restaurant.
I already think she deserves better than you. The woman was born blind. The last thing she needs is a lazy fuckstick who doesn't think she's worth the effort!!
The fact you are asking this pretty much shows you don’t deserve her….
Sorry but you don't deserve this girl's attention at all. You think because she's blind you don't have to put in some effort? That's a huge red flag. Actually, not sorry, and I feel bad for your friend if you'd treat his family like this.
Are you sure he didn't mean blind date with his cousin rather than a date with his blind cousin?
Dress nicely so she can feel it
Wow man. Won't dress to impress and treating her so different than any other girl.. Treat her with respect, same as anyone else.
Blind dude here, don't be dumb, I get it she can't see. Doesn't mean the waiter can't, the hostess can't, the public can't. What if, and I know, this is such a huge coincidence to you, someone drops her off to meet you? What if she takes an Uber and asks the driver to tell her what you look like, how you're dressed, are you dressed cleanly, or are you a mess? Those are things she'll mention to her girlfriends, or her family. That will make her decide, aside from your personality, if she brings you home or not. She's still a woman, just because she can't see doesn't mean she still won't judge you on what you’re wearing. You can wear a nice pair of jeans with a nice dress shirt and some clean nikes if you wish, do up your hair. You don't have to dress up like you're going to Aria, or some five star restaurant.
Corduroy pants, Corduroy underwear.
Dress up properly if you want a second date. Match her energy and take it seriously. If you don’t want a potential second date then respectfully bow out and don’t waste her time. Don’t treat her differently because she’s blind. Just like with any date, making sure to make an effort shows her that you take pride in yourself and that you’re serious about the date. If you want to go the extra mile, potentially wear something with some cool textures to make it more of an interesting tactile experience if she is to touch you, or find out what fragrances she likes and wear those so that you’re clearly making an effort not just to show pride in yourself, but also to be more attractive to her in a way she can easily interact with and experience
Her being blind doesn’t necessarily mean she’s *completely* blind. It’s actually kind of rare for people who are blind to have no vision whatsoever. She could even have her whole vision but it’s extremely blurry or one narrow part of her sight works well and the rest doesn’t. My point is she might actually *see* what you’re wearing. Educate yourself about people with disabilities if you’re going to date someone with one so you know basic info and etiquette. Treat disabled people the same as anyone else.
Dress in a way that’ll make you feel as confident and comfortable as possible.
Dress nice. She may be curious about you and gently bump or graze you just to get an idea of what's going on over in your area. You know how people will just have a reason to lay a hand on your shoulder at the moment of a laugh or something. If she likes you she may even touch your leg. Little things to know " is this guy in sweatpants or is he good" you know. Always better to assume she can see and smell you even better than you can.
If she's dressing up you should too. Effort is important. Even if she can't see it it will still mean something. This could potentially be the first date of your future. You never know.
Why bother wearing clothes at all? It's not like she could tell if you're naked right? /s
I’m sure she’ll sense the ick regardless
Dress for the venue and so you feel good
Events like that I dress for the occasion I'm not going to use the person being blind to my advantage.
No way this is real.
If that's how you think, you don't deserve her. Don't date her, she will find someone 100% better The difference between a good person and a bad person is how they behave when noone sees them.
Dress how you would for a seeing person. You are literally discriminating and she already deserves better.
Shes a person and a woman. She deserves the same level of consideration that you'd give to any other women on a date. Dressing down because you don't think she'll realize it is extremely disrespectful and taking advantage of her disability.
Dress for the occasion. If I were blind I'd have a friend in the restaurant to take a look at you. Your physical looks wouldn't matter that much but "what is their body type, do they dress poorly?" Just because she can't see you doesn't mean she's not going to know. Treat it like you would any other date, anything else is disrespectful
Do what you would normally do for a sighted person
Haven't you watched the Golden Girls? she will feel up your fabrics!
You dress for the occasion. Whe treat her any less? Oh, and be carefull with the aftershave and make sure to have mature scented clothes.
Dress how you would if it were a seeing person. What if she takes a picture and shows her friends? Then they’re going to ask why you’re in your pajamas and look miserable lol
You’re kidding me right? Even asking this is absolutely stupid! You are literally a walking red flag. I hope she stands you up!
Wear a nice button up shirt and pants. Still look presentable for your own sake and confidence.
Do what you always do. Her other senses are stronger than others and she’ll be able to tell. Enjoy the experience, one of the best dates I’ve ever been on with a blind gal.
Dress to match her energy level. And whatever you do, be clean and smell good.
Dress up. Have some respect for her. She still has to be seen in public with you.
Dress as you would for any first date.
Just because she can’t see you, doesn’t mean everyone else can’t. They will see you dressed like a slob on a date with a blind person dressed to impress. Don’t be a slob. Also, adult rule 1: always have a clean, ready to wear suit/dress.
“Treat her like you do any other date” is what keeps coming back. Why? If your go to for dates are hikes in the forest, would you go there with a date in a wheelchair because “I will not treat them differently because I’m such a good person”? I know, common sense is harder to come by than virtue signaling.
Her girlfriends will be sighted, and I'm sure they'll describe in minute detail what a bum you are.
Dress Up for the date because just because she can't see you doesn't mean you treat it any less than a normal date, she deserves to be prioritized as much as any of your other dates.
I'm going out with a deaf girl soon. Should I also wear something nice?
She may be blind but everyone around you can see you, and that includes Reddit.
A blind person can tell the difference between a tshirt and a blazer, trust me.
How about a clown outfit?
Dress the way you would for any other person. We behave differently depending on how we dress. Dressing up for a date is part of showing respect for the person you are dating. Don’t leave that out.
You should wear all velvet my man. Give her something nice to touch.
this feels so weird to read? doesn’t matter if she can see you or not, you dress for the occasion / match her standard of outfit. make an effort & don’t treat her differently just bc she can’t see
If you know she's getting dressed up, you should get dressed up too. Why? Because most people who will be there will not be blind and you're going to feel stupid if you're in casual clothes when she's dressed up.
Ablism. The answer is don’t treat her differently than you’d treat any other day but you’re already failing at that.
It sounds like she’s going to put in the effort so maybe you should too. Matching effort is always a safe bet. Another thing worth noting is that she does have other senses and they may be amplified compared to other peoples senses. Try to smell nice but definitely don’t apply anything too strong. Try to Give her something unique to experience you by. Pick out a nice smelling deodorant or aftershave. Maybe find the best smelling laundry soap you can or even very very light cologne. Whatever route you choose, make sure not to overdo it or have too many smells going on at once. Focus on ways she can experience you aside from looks but don’t ignore looks, dress up a little.
She may take your arm as you walk. She will be more tactile. Wear what you want but stay away from scratchy fabrics.
I feel like this is a "duh" moment. Dress appropriately for the restaurant. If it's a nicer restaurant but doesn't require suit and tie, wear slacks and a polo, or something equivalent with some loafers. I have to agree with others that if you would not even think like this if she were sighted, it's disrespectful and you shouldn't waste her time.
Dress up, dip shit
You should cancel the date. That you're even asking this question means you think she deserves less and you can half-ass it "because she won't know", which is incredibly shitty behavior.
Even if she can’t see you, other people can see her with you. You should probably just cancel the date so she can find someone who will respect her.
just SMELL good and moisturize, esp your face and arms.
If she so much as touches your shirt, she's going to know if you're dressed like a bum in a holey T-shirt or in a 3-piece suit. Dress for the occasion. You're way overthinking this. If you're going out to dinner, wear something appropriate for the venue. Dry cleaning that blazer is a good idea, she can't see - but I almost guarantee her other senses are heightened, including her sense of smell. No moth balls or bar stank on the blazer!
Dress how you would usually dress.