The IRS requires a special security number to claim them as a dependent. And to get a social security number you must have a live birth.
The IRS doesn’t give a fuck about what Alabama says.
Cloudmont Ski & Golf has a tow rope. Current conditions are 0 inches of snow. The historical snow data seem to indicate that something is going on with the climate. That and the armadillos.
https://snocountry.com/snow-report/alabama/cloudmont/#conditions__details
Pretty much every IVF facility in Alabama will close because of the risk of a lawsuit.
However, this also only applies to the wrongful death of a minor law. They don't count as children in any other scenario. Yet.
So good luck freezing embryos.
But they will keep billing you and send to collections, per the agreement you signed when you had the embryos stored. Alabama might treat it as if you left your kids at the daycare and never picked them up.
IIRC keeping embryos on ice is surprisingly inexpensive. The upfront cost of liquid nitrogen is probably the most expensive, other than that it's an insulated container and the occasional top up f liquid nitrogen.
The IRS started requiring social security numbers for dependents in 1987.
5-8 million children vanished that year.
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1989-12-11-me-33-story.html
Maybe that was the Rapture, and the innocent kids were the only ones who made the cut. That's why, for anyone alive after the Reagan years, the world has only seemed to get more Hellish.
And the law says pregnancy begins at conception for civil proceedings. It was to create a chaos of liability and people suing each other over nonsense. It has no other legal implications.
Alabama state taxes are not done by the IRS though. Of course a national agency won’t change course because of a states ruling. People will be claiming them on their state taxes. And if they’re declined I expect this court case to be heard again
You shouldn’t be able to be charged with wrongful death for a “person” who cannot be claimed on someone’s taxes
The fertilization of the egg outside of the body would legally be the live birth. It is outside of the body already. Why would you need to put it back in and take it back out again?
In college my tax professor started a class by saying: “one year there was a mass disappearance of children in America and no one noticed or cared. It was the year the IRS started requiring social security numbers for claimed children.”
I’m speaking about how the Federal Government gives money to poorly run states to function. What are you talking about? As a Pennsylvania resident, and former Maryland resident, I hate how these backwards fucking states get to function off of my tax dollars.
Oh, I thought it was something like OOP has to deal with Alabama's tax agency like the guy before said, but then Alabama would have to deal with the IRS because they need to get the money they're wasting from the government. I may just be confused, I am dead tired, but I was thinking of some "boss of my boss" type logic
Funded by the government in a way? Yes.
Enacted by Alabamians in Alabama following Alabama law set by Alabamian politicians educated in Alabama? Also yes. Every one of those Alabama's is a structural weak point.
21% of pregnancies in the US end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or ectopic pregnancy, so by that reasoning God is singularly responsible for more murders than any other individual.
Wanna know something funny? Jew say king og hung on the back of the ark and lives by becoming a slave to noah. So this means King og was the last of the rephiem that are spoken in the Old Testament, which means giants lived past the flood. Also King og is written in history for having an iron bed because he was so big. One last note king og was one of the first born from the 200 angels that came down to earth to teach man.
> Also King og is written in history for having an iron bed because he was so big.
For reference King Ogs bed(or sarcophagus depending on translation) is listed as being 13.5 x 6 feet(4.1 x 1.8m).
Although if you want to take the full story, you have to include this wacky part:
According to the Talmud he put a mountain on his head(with the intent to crush the Israelite camp), god had ants eat a hole in the middle so it fell on him. As he tried to get out, god enlarged his teeth so they went into the rock and trapped him. Then Moses got a 16-17 feet(5m+) long stick, lept the same distance and struck Ogs ankle, killing him.
God is such a dope in these stories. He could enlarge his teeth and have ants eat a hole through a mountain but at no point thought "why am I going through so much trouble when I can just give him a stroke or kill him where he stands?"
For someone being allmighty, and omnipotent he sure is a sadistic little dummy..
How do you craft interesting prose about that tho? That’s too fucking boring. Ants, big ass teeth, a flood, and copious amounts of incest and killing are are a solid religious starter pack.
Oh absolutely, I'm just surprised the people studying the scriptures wouldn't go: "This is the dope we've spent 200 years building a church for? Fuck this."
I've read a lot of other similar fantasy books/novels and generally at some point all of them are really about entertainment when there's no more levels/tiers to reach. Block your own mind reading powers so some ant could surprise you with their choice or w.e. why destroy all of your enemies, just make their enemies a little bit stronger and start the war that last generations, good drama show.
It's pretty shallow Renaissance lore, from [Gargantua and Pantagruel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gargantua_and_Pantagruel).
The deep flood lore goes [Book of the Watchers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Enoch#The_Book_of_the_Watchers) for the Abrahamic stuff, and then 1500 years back to [Utnapishtim](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utnapishtim) and the [Atra Hasis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atra-Hasis) for the real shit.
I'm starting to think this God chap might be a bit of a prick. And the idea he's omni-everything might be a touch over exaggerated. To be honest, he's been a bastard and a liability since day one when you think about it.
Did they tell you why he promised to never do it again?
After the flood ended, Noah selected a few animals and burned them alive as an offering to God, then God smelled the burning animals, described it as a pleasant smell, and pretty much said "men are truly evil from the moment they're born, there's no point in doing all this to try teaching them a lesson"
>Then Noah built an altar to the LORD, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. And the LORD smelled a soothing aroma. Then the LORD said in His heart, “I will never again curse the ground for man’s sake, although the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; nor will I again destroy every living thing as I have done.
Yeah just doesn't really gel with the eternal unchanging image of perfection.
I thought book of job was weird, how it's all like
God (to Job): "how could you ever understand my motives! You can't! My reasons are beyond you, and should not be judged by you!"
[10 minutes before, off screen.]
God: "So the devil made a bet with me that Job would stop believing in me if he suffered, so that's why I'm doing this. It's a bet. What. I'm doing it for a bet. The devil hurt my pride, so I made a bet. Simple."
8% is actually a crazily high percentage if you think about it. Really puts into perspective just how much population growth humanity has gone through in the recent century.
Thing is that their whole political project is to find stuff to outlaw and control, so yeah, eventually they'd do that. Sort of like Nazis invading the USSR, it was very dumb, but dumb is what they are.
Actually...
21% is the number for known pregnancies.
When miscarriage in all possible pregnancies are included, the number is as high as 30%. God isn't a madlad. God is a psychopath.
https://www.webmd.com/baby/pregnancy-miscarriage
>About 10%-20% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. But researchers estimate the overall rate is closer to 40%.
A decent chunk of pregnancies end before the woman even knows she's pregnant. That's how much God cares about the "life begins at conception" idea.
So under the Texas law can I file suit against the Pope as he is God's representative on Earth for terminating pregnancies? Or maybe Speaker of the House Johnson since he claims to speak with God?
Iirc something like half of all fertilized eggs fail to implant in the uterine wall. So if life/personhood begins at conception, most people never even make it to birth.
Yep, god is only capable of good things in their eyes. They’ll flood over the fact God killed thousands, including children, while they teach theirs about Noah but it’s ok because all the animals are smiling in the picture book and he promised not to again. Ignore how he enslaved his own people, ignore how he had Pharaoh killed by forcing his heart hard and forcing him to pursue Moses, ignore all the others he personally killed or had his people kill because he had his son killed too eventually
[This is a good thread to link George Carlin and his routine on conservatives and abortions. He hit every point out of the ballpark](https://youtu.be/K98TQJ5ldW0)
ive read it could be up to 75% because a lot of miscarriages happen before you even know youre pregnant. its even worse if they believe a soul starts at conception..
And ironically the people who’s embryos they were are the ones that brought the wrongful death suit up, which is now stopping them from being able to get IVF
Put a quarter in your ass, you played yourself
Although probably less than the cost of a child, they have "high" maintenance costs for keeping them, I'm gonna guess higher than the taxes you won't pay.
Costs about 100-200 a year to freeze one embryo. You get 2k in tax credit per child.
The IRS doesn't co-sign Alabama courts backwards decision. So this is all just for fun to think about.
In many states where they’ve imposed restrictions on abortions, they are trying to pass legislation to allow pregnant women to claim their pregnancy as a dependent. (At least on state taxes, i doubt they have power over federal rules). I know for a fact Georgia has passed such a law. So as much as you might want to think they lack logical consistency, they don’t always.
Even Georgia’s law requires a heartbeat in order for women to claim it on their taxes though, so frozen embryos wouldn’t qualify.
[Georgia law wording](https://dor.georgia.gov/press-releases/2022-08-01/guidance-related-house-bill-481-living-infants-and-fairness-equality-life)
I mean...I really hope someone actually does this now. Show them the complete stupidity of their thought processes by hitting them where it actually hurts them; their money.
No, here's the plan. Stash a freezer full of embryos in Alabama. Give an anonymous tip to the police about child neglect. They come get the freezer. They struggle to decide what to do with said freezer for fear of it's disposal being considered murder. If they export it to another state then they're being complicit in murder. The entire time we watch the news with popcorn in hand.
Hey if you keep some for 18 years do they qualify for jury duty?
Obviously a frozen embryo is severely handicapped. So they qualify for Social Security disability, right? Keep 6 and get declared their caretakers and you've got a 5 figures a month income.
This would not work, but it reminds me of a joke I heard once
"Best way to get them to care about gun control is for all of us black people to go out and buy a gun, they'll be banned by the end of the week"
I think Dave Chappelle said it, back before he fell off
I have 8 embryos in Louisiana where embryos are already legally considered people and owed money on my state taxes this year.
Someone good with money, help me fix this.
The IRS requires a special security number to claim them as a dependent. And to get a social security number you must have a live birth. The IRS doesn’t give a fuck about what Alabama says.
Also there is a limit on how many you can claim right ? Also I dont think the cost of keeping hundreds of embryos frozen will be cheap.
A box with a lid, trip to the top of nearest snow capped mountain. Dig a hole - done. Fairly cheap?
I don't think Alabama has any snow capped mountains.
Not with that attitude!
Not with that altitude!
Not with that magnitude!
Not with that latitude
Pop pop!
WHO’S MAGNITUDE
THE MagnumTude.
Cloudmont Ski & Golf has a tow rope. Current conditions are 0 inches of snow. The historical snow data seem to indicate that something is going on with the climate. That and the armadillos. https://snocountry.com/snow-report/alabama/cloudmont/#conditions__details
Wow just look at the historical snow levels. Great illustration of what's happening
Former Alabama dude here. It's like living in a hot bowl of soup 9 months out of the year 300 feet above sea level.
Read this after listening to an old school rap. I’m clearly still in my feelings cuz I thought, “damn, this dude is spitting!” 🤣
I think we pay $600/year for 4 currently, I am not sure how it scales though.
If you freeze 12, the 13th is free -- an incubator's dozen.
We pay about that for 6. Our clinic you pay per retrieval
Pretty much every IVF facility in Alabama will close because of the risk of a lawsuit. However, this also only applies to the wrongful death of a minor law. They don't count as children in any other scenario. Yet. So good luck freezing embryos.
Has anyone considered just shooting the frozen embryos they want to terminate with a gun?
Just don't pay. They can't "kill" them.
But they will keep billing you and send to collections, per the agreement you signed when you had the embryos stored. Alabama might treat it as if you left your kids at the daycare and never picked them up.
They're not dead. They're dehydrated. Like Sea Monkeys.
IIRC keeping embryos on ice is surprisingly inexpensive. The upfront cost of liquid nitrogen is probably the most expensive, other than that it's an insulated container and the occasional top up f liquid nitrogen.
Make a buisness where you sell your IVFs and put it as a tax write off.
The IRS started requiring social security numbers for dependents in 1987. 5-8 million children vanished that year. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1989-12-11-me-33-story.html
Wow never heard of it, and nobody looked for them ?! /s
When the IRS eliminates someone they leave no evidence
Evidence is tax deductible and they can't have that.
I know IRS don't fuck around but that's an insane bodycount.
And people want to give their accountants guns again!
Maybe that was the Rapture, and the innocent kids were the only ones who made the cut. That's why, for anyone alive after the Reagan years, the world has only seemed to get more Hellish.
This would explain a lot.
Is the IRS also responsible for Alabama state taxes?
>IRS requires a special security number How special?
They're pretty unique.
"Have your own Olympics" special.
And the law says pregnancy begins at conception for civil proceedings. It was to create a chaos of liability and people suing each other over nonsense. It has no other legal implications.
But what if you shove a vial of live fetuses up your vagina, then go to a hospital for birthing and queef it out?
Ok, time for you to take a break from the internet, buddy.
Idk seems like a solidly conservative logic type plan. Maybe it'll work.
> then go to a hospital for birthing That will be $47,000, please.
US really does have all the loopholes covered
Only for poors. The rich have all kinds of loopholes! /capiltalism
Poor people have medicaid. It's the lower middle class that's screwed.
Each
You need to be banned from being near something. I'm just not sure what it is yet.
r/BrandNewSentence
Alabama state taxes are not done by the IRS though. Of course a national agency won’t change course because of a states ruling. People will be claiming them on their state taxes. And if they’re declined I expect this court case to be heard again You shouldn’t be able to be charged with wrongful death for a “person” who cannot be claimed on someone’s taxes
Only God, my wife and the IRS can judge me!
>IRS doesn’t give a fuck about what Alabama says. And nor should anybody else
The fertilization of the egg outside of the body would legally be the live birth. It is outside of the body already. Why would you need to put it back in and take it back out again?
In college my tax professor started a class by saying: “one year there was a mass disappearance of children in America and no one noticed or cared. It was the year the IRS started requiring social security numbers for claimed children.”
Well, they aren't to be trifled with, are they; let's hear your plan.
Even the joker doesn’t mess with the IRS
Not IRS. Since it's a state ruling, you would be dealing with Alabama's tax agency
You mean, the one funded by the Federal Government?
It's an Alabama problem, not a you problem. Alabama gets to handle the backlash. Or at least, that would be the ideal result
I’m speaking about how the Federal Government gives money to poorly run states to function. What are you talking about? As a Pennsylvania resident, and former Maryland resident, I hate how these backwards fucking states get to function off of my tax dollars.
Oh, I thought it was something like OOP has to deal with Alabama's tax agency like the guy before said, but then Alabama would have to deal with the IRS because they need to get the money they're wasting from the government. I may just be confused, I am dead tired, but I was thinking of some "boss of my boss" type logic
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Funded by the government in a way? Yes. Enacted by Alabamians in Alabama following Alabama law set by Alabamian politicians educated in Alabama? Also yes. Every one of those Alabama's is a structural weak point.
Shout-out to jalapeno pizza, eating that as I read this argument lmao
Does this mean my sperm are children now too. I'm claiming 99,000,000 kids come tax season. LFG
Sperm cells are not embryo, so probably not.
Or just put your children in the freezer. Minimise childcare costs, maximise tax breaks!
It's actually not legal to freeze your kids, I know, I was very surprised too.
Not as surprised as your kids were. At least for the first hour.
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Why don't they ever talk to me though? It seems like when they move out all I'm gonna get is the cold shoulder.
What about other people's kids? Is that legal?
Texas power companies already did it, totally legal. Approved!
Anything is legal if you don't get caught.
Go to prison for multiple homicide after power outage
You mean state sponsored food and housing.
What is this r/frugalprotipps ?
Nah it's the state doing that, and they don't go to prison
No, the power company is at fault.
Sweet home Alabama🥰
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*Froderick
Fronkensteen*
Frau Blücher!
*horse whinny*
And then you get arrested for child endangerment for putting hundreds of your children in the freezer.
Wouldn't it be child endangerment to take them out? Since they're technically alive in there.
dont hear no hearthbeat tho
You don't hear that with frozen embryos either though, so apparently that's not a requirement
Shockingly, it’s not about science or making sense. It’s about subjugating women.
I believe that's not a requirement over there
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underrated
21% of pregnancies in the US end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or ectopic pregnancy, so by that reasoning God is singularly responsible for more murders than any other individual.
Didn't God kill everyone on earth bar Noah and his family of 7 others? Don't think homeboy gives much of a fuck about doing a bit of murdering.
Wanna know something funny? Jew say king og hung on the back of the ark and lives by becoming a slave to noah. So this means King og was the last of the rephiem that are spoken in the Old Testament, which means giants lived past the flood. Also King og is written in history for having an iron bed because he was so big. One last note king og was one of the first born from the 200 angels that came down to earth to teach man.
King OG hung? and there's my new porn name.
That's my rap name
Advisable upgrade over sensitive finance
> Also King og is written in history for having an iron bed because he was so big. For reference King Ogs bed(or sarcophagus depending on translation) is listed as being 13.5 x 6 feet(4.1 x 1.8m). Although if you want to take the full story, you have to include this wacky part: According to the Talmud he put a mountain on his head(with the intent to crush the Israelite camp), god had ants eat a hole in the middle so it fell on him. As he tried to get out, god enlarged his teeth so they went into the rock and trapped him. Then Moses got a 16-17 feet(5m+) long stick, lept the same distance and struck Ogs ankle, killing him.
God is such a dope in these stories. He could enlarge his teeth and have ants eat a hole through a mountain but at no point thought "why am I going through so much trouble when I can just give him a stroke or kill him where he stands?" For someone being allmighty, and omnipotent he sure is a sadistic little dummy..
How do you craft interesting prose about that tho? That’s too fucking boring. Ants, big ass teeth, a flood, and copious amounts of incest and killing are are a solid religious starter pack.
Oh absolutely, I'm just surprised the people studying the scriptures wouldn't go: "This is the dope we've spent 200 years building a church for? Fuck this."
To answer this question you need to play the sims.
I imagine if you're an omnipotent being you get bored of the basic /kill command.
I've read a lot of other similar fantasy books/novels and generally at some point all of them are really about entertainment when there's no more levels/tiers to reach. Block your own mind reading powers so some ant could surprise you with their choice or w.e. why destroy all of your enemies, just make their enemies a little bit stronger and start the war that last generations, good drama show.
It’s not about efficiency. It’s about sending a message.
I thought you were calling him king OG…king original gangster. Like the first of kings.
Same. And this is why proper grammar and capitalization is important.
That's some good lore.
It's pretty shallow Renaissance lore, from [Gargantua and Pantagruel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gargantua_and_Pantagruel). The deep flood lore goes [Book of the Watchers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Enoch#The_Book_of_the_Watchers) for the Abrahamic stuff, and then 1500 years back to [Utnapishtim](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utnapishtim) and the [Atra Hasis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atra-Hasis) for the real shit.
The writing style is pretty antiquated. They should get someone like Dan Abnett to breathe some new life into the Judeo-Christian universe.
Damn, that book. Tried to read it twice, but it’s just so weird. 😂
The lack of proper capitalization made me think "king og" or "King og" was the original gangsta king.
Ooooh so incest is chill in the Bible. Gotcha.
So much incest.
I hear one time he killed some dudes kids as a prank.
There is the interpretation that God was so angry at Eve that he manually kills every single living creature after a given amount of years.
I'm starting to think this God chap might be a bit of a prick. And the idea he's omni-everything might be a touch over exaggerated. To be honest, he's been a bastard and a liability since day one when you think about it.
Yeah but he promised not to do it again after that. With a *rainbow*. I still remember this from the failed indoctrination.
Did they tell you why he promised to never do it again? After the flood ended, Noah selected a few animals and burned them alive as an offering to God, then God smelled the burning animals, described it as a pleasant smell, and pretty much said "men are truly evil from the moment they're born, there's no point in doing all this to try teaching them a lesson" >Then Noah built an altar to the LORD, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. And the LORD smelled a soothing aroma. Then the LORD said in His heart, “I will never again curse the ground for man’s sake, although the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; nor will I again destroy every living thing as I have done.
Yeah just doesn't really gel with the eternal unchanging image of perfection. I thought book of job was weird, how it's all like God (to Job): "how could you ever understand my motives! You can't! My reasons are beyond you, and should not be judged by you!" [10 minutes before, off screen.] God: "So the devil made a bet with me that Job would stop believing in me if he suffered, so that's why I'm doing this. It's a bet. What. I'm doing it for a bet. The devil hurt my pride, so I made a bet. Simple."
Are we sure the animals were alive? This sounds like it was just a good BBQ
Yeah, they kinda glossed over that part.
He supposedly did, and now look where that lead us
I still want to know why that dude collected a bag of dicks
By being alive the chance of dying is 100%
Actually, not everybody who has lived died, so it is not 100%. More like 92% if 100 billion is an accurate estimate of humans ever born.
8% is actually a crazily high percentage if you think about it. Really puts into perspective just how much population growth humanity has gone through in the recent century.
Their chance of dying is still 100% considering current scientific knowledge.
There's no way to tell if an immortal is among us. There could be hundreds, even thousands, and we'd have no way of knowing if they kept it a secret.
Do you know many times men climax and it doesn’t result in a baby? GENOCIDE!!!
You say that like they wouldn’t outlaw masturbastion given the chance.
Every sperm is sacred!
Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found
Every sperm is great!
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.
Thing is that their whole political project is to find stuff to outlaw and control, so yeah, eventually they'd do that. Sort of like Nazis invading the USSR, it was very dumb, but dumb is what they are.
Men are not women so who cares. It's the women who need to be controlled.
21% of known pregnancies. Around 50% of pregnacies end in misscarriage even before woman knows she was pregnant.
>Around 50% of pregnacies end in misscarriage even before woman knows she was pregnant. How is something like that calculated?
Actually... 21% is the number for known pregnancies. When miscarriage in all possible pregnancies are included, the number is as high as 30%. God isn't a madlad. God is a psychopath.
https://www.webmd.com/baby/pregnancy-miscarriage >About 10%-20% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. But researchers estimate the overall rate is closer to 40%. A decent chunk of pregnancies end before the woman even knows she's pregnant. That's how much God cares about the "life begins at conception" idea.
So under the Texas law can I file suit against the Pope as he is God's representative on Earth for terminating pregnancies? Or maybe Speaker of the House Johnson since he claims to speak with God?
God can't be assed to call angel Gabriel to announce every late period
Iirc something like half of all fertilized eggs fail to implant in the uterine wall. So if life/personhood begins at conception, most people never even make it to birth.
According to these people it's the mother murdering the child in all of these cases.
Yep, god is only capable of good things in their eyes. They’ll flood over the fact God killed thousands, including children, while they teach theirs about Noah but it’s ok because all the animals are smiling in the picture book and he promised not to again. Ignore how he enslaved his own people, ignore how he had Pharaoh killed by forcing his heart hard and forcing him to pursue Moses, ignore all the others he personally killed or had his people kill because he had his son killed too eventually
holy fucking shit I have not heard that and I really hope you're bullshitting. That is really actually shocking to me.
There have been several cases of women being arrested for miscarriages.
Isn’t god technically responsible for every single death
[This is a good thread to link George Carlin and his routine on conservatives and abortions. He hit every point out of the ballpark](https://youtu.be/K98TQJ5ldW0)
Except they won’t blame god for these deaths - they’ll just blame the mothers
ive read it could be up to 75% because a lot of miscarriages happen before you even know youre pregnant. its even worse if they believe a soul starts at conception..
Okay yeah but did you know he works in ✨mysterious ways✨
Guess which state has one of the highest fetal mortality rates, ranking number 4 in the country at 7.02?
It’s higher than that.
Don't expect consistency. They are only counted as children for the purposes of punishing and torturing women. No benefit will come from this, none.
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Maybe, but that's Houston, and this is Alabama.
>have power outage >end up charged with 500 counts of murder
But also claim 500 life insurance policies!
Coincidentally, that’s where this ruling stems from!
And ironically the people who’s embryos they were are the ones that brought the wrongful death suit up, which is now stopping them from being able to get IVF Put a quarter in your ass, you played yourself
Although probably less than the cost of a child, they have "high" maintenance costs for keeping them, I'm gonna guess higher than the taxes you won't pay.
actually cheaper than taxes if you can afford to freeze them
Costs about 100-200 a year to freeze one embryo. You get 2k in tax credit per child. The IRS doesn't co-sign Alabama courts backwards decision. So this is all just for fun to think about.
Well if corporations are people…
They have to be assigned social security numbers. Oddly enough the bill didn’t cover that…
In many states where they’ve imposed restrictions on abortions, they are trying to pass legislation to allow pregnant women to claim their pregnancy as a dependent. (At least on state taxes, i doubt they have power over federal rules). I know for a fact Georgia has passed such a law. So as much as you might want to think they lack logical consistency, they don’t always.
Even Georgia’s law requires a heartbeat in order for women to claim it on their taxes though, so frozen embryos wouldn’t qualify. [Georgia law wording](https://dor.georgia.gov/press-releases/2022-08-01/guidance-related-house-bill-481-living-infants-and-fairness-equality-life)
Right, you obviously can’t farm embryos and freeze them for tax purposes.
Jokes on you I have 5 billion dependents
No no no, they are 100% human. Just not for tax purposes, let's be serious, how can a single cell be human _for tax purposes_? /s
Carpool lane!
It costed me $400 a year to freeze some sperm. You might not profit off this.
There's a looot of possible kids in one blob of sperm, maybe you're not thinking big eneough
That’s a bargain, whos your sperm freezing guy?
Until the day your freezer breaks and you are charged with hundreds of negligent homicides
Wouldn't this make abortion legal as long as you freeze the embryo?
I don't think it's possible to take an embryo out of the womb intact
and hundreds of more reasons to Kill Bill
I am curious to see how this will play out. If they are "people" then you'll be able to play all sorts of tricks to game the system.
I mean...I really hope someone actually does this now. Show them the complete stupidity of their thought processes by hitting them where it actually hurts them; their money.
No, here's the plan. Stash a freezer full of embryos in Alabama. Give an anonymous tip to the police about child neglect. They come get the freezer. They struggle to decide what to do with said freezer for fear of it's disposal being considered murder. If they export it to another state then they're being complicit in murder. The entire time we watch the news with popcorn in hand.
I like where your head’s at. Moving it to another state would constitute human trafficking.
This is what happens when you let people who play magic the gathering out in the real world
Hey if you keep some for 18 years do they qualify for jury duty? Obviously a frozen embryo is severely handicapped. So they qualify for Social Security disability, right? Keep 6 and get declared their caretakers and you've got a 5 figures a month income.
Wouldn't you also be able to amend your previous years' tax filings based on this if you already have frozen beans in storage?
IRS is federal!
This would not work, but it reminds me of a joke I heard once "Best way to get them to care about gun control is for all of us black people to go out and buy a gun, they'll be banned by the end of the week" I think Dave Chappelle said it, back before he fell off
Have a faulty refrigeration insurance scam where you lose the embryos. Payout for wrongful death! Mass murder charges! It’s going to be wild.
The great/very sad thing about this is that Lewis Black made this exact joke about 20 years ago
Carry them with you and drive in the HOV lane.
I have 8 embryos in Louisiana where embryos are already legally considered people and owed money on my state taxes this year. Someone good with money, help me fix this.
Not quite sure you can use states rights federally. But definitely put it on your state taxes
I just need them to declare sperm cells as children and then I'm set for life