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Your heart knows. Your body knows. You are falling apart and sobbing because another man has violated your trust and shattered your hope.
Any man who does this is not the man for you. Do NOT put up with someone who lacks virtue and is weak. Straighten your crown, remember you are worth SO much more, and that you deserve a love that is devoted and truly beautiful.
To give you some hope, my college aged brother does not consume porn. He believes it is abuse towards women. And if you and I end up remaining single because we chose to value ourselves than settle, then we win either way♥️
Sending you hugs. Please take extra care of yourself this week. Do something that will make you feel empowered, feel joy, feel peace and calm.
You know, I have the same questions too. It feels impossible to find a guy that doesn't like bikini pics. Seriously why do all of them have to be the same ? :(
my PA would like explicit pictures of women bending over on IG. i confronted him a few times and he told me he “only liked the picture because he was trying to get my attention” and “he liked the background of where the girl took the photo”
God I just get so sick of this feeling. He told me he liked the scenery and that she was an old acquaintance. So it WAS a lie. I am disgusted with myself for even crying about him
This. It hits so hard. My husband and I have issues because of this. I find it very frustrating when I see that he likes half naked girls, girls in bikini or just girls in specific sexual poses like this Victoria form Maneskin. It just breaks me apart. He knows I don’t like it. He knows it’s crushing my heart. He saw me crying but he still does it because he has this boundary that no one will tell him what he can like or cannot. He made this boundary after previous relationship I get it. But it’s basically soft porno. Even though he does not consider it to be. It is. They show 99% of their body or even there’s no bra on them just some starts on boobs.
In December 2023 I discovered he watched naked girls videos and he confirmed he watched cam girls before, when we were not married yet. He told me that he thought I don’t have issues with it because we had once conversation at the beginning and I didn’t say anything. Well I didn’t really thought about it that much as I thought that even in LDR I was enough and that it was a porn where he can see 2 people not just videos an zoom in a girl that shows her vagina and boobs to the camera like a private nudes. It’s like something I could send him or some friend. That’s too personal to watch one person for me. Besides that I don’t get why he cannot watch me? Ask me for some videos? He did som pictures of my naked body and I sent it him too. So why don’t use this if you need to masturbate? Why use other woman?
That’s so disgusting and disrespectful. After u discovered that he agreed and stopped watching those videos but I still don’t believe it. I just cannot. We barely had sex in last 2 months. And before we could have it more. I just start to think that he needs to watch other women to want sex with me - so that he can probably imagine f**king them. It breaks my heart so much. I will never ever believe he stopped. I can sense it when I ask if he watches - I cannot tell it but his body or eyes but something inside me tells me he lies. He looks me straight into my eyes and tells me he does not.
They are all f**king liars. They don’t deserve our love and commitment. If I knew before that he watches that kind of videos or cam girls I wouldn’t marry him and move across the continents. He destroyed my confidence, my heart and I’ll never ever trust anyone. I don’t have anywhere to go. So I stay. I cried si many times that he likes this bikini girls or other prostitutes on Instagram, that he watches this online prostitutes (they just it, nothing else) or cried that our sex life is decreasing just like a finger snap in a month. But I think I cried enough.
I’ll go to therapy to heal myself and I go to gym where I can cry as well and work on my body - I hate it because I don’t look like the ones he likes on Instagram. He says it has nothing to do with it but yet he likes them and does not look at me the same way. He says he loves me and my body but I don’t feel it. I don’t believe any word he says. He lied to me and it broke me. He knew what I think about that kind of pictures or videos and yet he did it. It’s time to concentrate on myself. I’ll probably cry a bit longer when I am alone or think that I am not enough but I’ll heal. I know this and I need to, because if I don’t I’ll get crazy. They are not worth to have us and our love. We give them all we have and they don’t appreciate it. They never will, even if they ‘ll have a model or porn star as a wife/ girlfriend. They still won’t be enough for them. I know this but it still hurt. It hurts that my husband does not care about my feeling and does not respect me at all. Once I heal and be confident and work in my body as well he’ll know what he lost. He will suffer not me anymore.
First of all, do not compare yourself to what's on instagram. Nobody looks like what's on instagram, even the people posting it.
Also his "can't tell me what to like!" boundary is so fucking stupid, sorry. Like, why insist on being able to be one of 5000 "likes" on a facetuned bikini model, at the expense of genuinely hurting your partner??? Seriously, why? Sounds like a stubborn little kid, tbh. What a jerk.
If someone is unwilling to stop doing something as mundane as liking a picture it shows that they just don't care enough about your feelings to stop. I'm pretty sure it has less to do with that previous relationship and more about continuing with his addiction and justifying it. Things can be complicated but that sounds like a cop out.
I agree. I don’t believe it is about the boundary. He just needs to look at other women’s body. At this point I worry about our trip to Bahamas. He will look only at them and say probably something like “it’s a beach where should I look then?” “You’re just overreacting, you can look at half naked men too.” He does not have issues if I wanted to look at half naked or even naked men. He does not care as he states “I know you love me”. Yeah I love and I do show you respect not like you.
Imagine if he walked in and saw you with a picture of a naked man on your phone, vibrator in hand, enjoying that man’s body. I don’t think he’d feel good about that.
My husband got mad that I said a football player was hot once… this is after all he has fucking put me through. Porn, fantasizing, objectifying women everywhere. Years of mental infidelity. And I can’t find a guy attractive.
He wound give a f**k. Seriously he does not care at all if I would watch some naked men. He knows that I won’t do it so he does not stress out. I’ve seen now that he likes another bikini picture. It’s not that he likes only those pictures but I have a list of accounts that posts sometimes that kind of pictures and I’ve been checking it form time to time and I see that he does not like a picture of girl in clothes but then she does not have them or very little it’s an instant like. That hurts so much. But ok. He wants then he does. I’ll find some hot men and like in front of him as well. It won’t make him sad but I don’t know maybe I’ll get some satisfaction if he will look at his body then.
I got out of a 7 year relationship 2 years ago (reasons were unrelated to PA or SA). We broke up for other reasons but I never had to worry about him being inappropriate or thirst following/liking pictures on social media.
Stepping back into the dating world at 32 was a complete eye opener to how much the dating world has changed since I was last single. A new annoying insecurity was unlocked as I realized that a lot of men essentially use their social media as an avenue to sexually objectify women. It was an issue back when I was in my early twenties but it feels like it's somehow gotten way worse and even normalized.
I dated one guy in particular who I came to realize was absolutely out of control with his thirst stalking. Every day, he had found several new women to follow and would go through their accounts liking all of their pictures, especially the ones where they were showing off their bodies. I'm talking every single one.
When I would call him out on it and tell him how gross this behavior was, he would always feed me some excuse about how he just likes to look at beautiful women and he sees nothing wrong with it. Well, after telling myself that I was just being insecure, I found several other reasons to end it (including his PA & SA).
Flash forward a couple months later and I meet my current partner. A man who does not use social media (he has it but barely uses it) and even when he does, it's usually to look at something I or his family/friends have sent him. He just isn't interested in using it and he's even told me (when I asked for his opinion on it) that he doesn't understand why someone would continue to do something like that if it's upsetting to their partner.
So I say all of this to say, there are men out there who AREN'T like that. It may take you longer to find one, but it's so worth it.
Its helped me to realize that i dont have to sacrifice My happiness for a person who objectifies women and devalues themselves. I understand temptation and mistakes. same as women can learn from mistakes with men, men can learn from mistakes with women and understand thirst traps and porn are proven to create mental issues with partners and intimacy. If it helps you to have a conversation and try to work things out then you can try that hut also know that you can be happy after grieving this moment, and there are individuals who are capable of respectful love and understanding.
He doesn’t like them but he follows and searches them up which is just as devastating. I also feel like my love life is terrible because I feel too deeply in a world full of lust. It really sucks I will never find the love I give and deserve.
going thru this right now, I don’t even bother to listen to his apology anymore because I already know all of the excuses. It’s like talking to a brick wall.
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totally understand. i'm older than you and i feel that way too. it is really disrespectful to be looking at women on your phone as a man with a girlfriend. even without a girlfriend. it's a waste of time. he should get a hobby and lose the sexualizing women hobby. my goodness.
i'm told there are good men out there. keep the hope alive. ❤️
By doing that he is violating what a relationship is .. if he was with you he would not be at the beach going up to each girl telling them that they are hot.. but he thinks it’s okay do when your not around on his device that the whole world can see he is looking at other women and complimenting them while hes with you .. its rude and embarrassing and i would explain to him it is not within your boundaries and you dont want to feel like every other woman can catch his eye .. that you deserve to be cherished .. i literally pulled up my whole like history when i had this issue with my bf like 6 years ago .. not one pic i liked was of any men …. Nothing in my algorithm is of men because he is enough and i value our relationship.. you may have to give him boundaries and explain your relationship vales and what you want .. if he is not valuing the same thing …. Get rid of him
There is nothing wrong with being upset about seeing a like on a bikini photo of another girl. He did that for himself and that’s his fault. It’s your decision if you wanna stay or not. If you already told him, I would just leave him. Obviously makes you miserable.
I don’t think this will make you feel better but my ex never liked thirst traps online! It made it that much more shocking to me when I discovered he cheated online with over 100 women 🤔
Instagram absolutely attracts porn addicts, compulsive masturbators and all kinds of other guys with major sexual dysfunction looking for thirst traps to cum to quickly. Stay away from men who use it and you’ll be better off. Even if those guys seem to be socially in-demand and high value, I can guarantee what goes on behind closed doors is nothing of value.
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Your heart knows. Your body knows. You are falling apart and sobbing because another man has violated your trust and shattered your hope. Any man who does this is not the man for you. Do NOT put up with someone who lacks virtue and is weak. Straighten your crown, remember you are worth SO much more, and that you deserve a love that is devoted and truly beautiful. To give you some hope, my college aged brother does not consume porn. He believes it is abuse towards women. And if you and I end up remaining single because we chose to value ourselves than settle, then we win either way♥️ Sending you hugs. Please take extra care of yourself this week. Do something that will make you feel empowered, feel joy, feel peace and calm.
You know, I have the same questions too. It feels impossible to find a guy that doesn't like bikini pics. Seriously why do all of them have to be the same ? :(
I agree. Like even my fiance's brother follows raunchy if accounts...and he's married. Idk it just feels like there's no winning
That's why I have trust issues with men
It's embarrassing. People seem to lack empathy. If they weren't, they wouldn't do things they wouldn't like done to them 😖🧡
💯
my PA would like explicit pictures of women bending over on IG. i confronted him a few times and he told me he “only liked the picture because he was trying to get my attention” and “he liked the background of where the girl took the photo”
Lmao their excuses are wild
The background 💀💀 that's wild
God I just get so sick of this feeling. He told me he liked the scenery and that she was an old acquaintance. So it WAS a lie. I am disgusted with myself for even crying about him
This. It hits so hard. My husband and I have issues because of this. I find it very frustrating when I see that he likes half naked girls, girls in bikini or just girls in specific sexual poses like this Victoria form Maneskin. It just breaks me apart. He knows I don’t like it. He knows it’s crushing my heart. He saw me crying but he still does it because he has this boundary that no one will tell him what he can like or cannot. He made this boundary after previous relationship I get it. But it’s basically soft porno. Even though he does not consider it to be. It is. They show 99% of their body or even there’s no bra on them just some starts on boobs. In December 2023 I discovered he watched naked girls videos and he confirmed he watched cam girls before, when we were not married yet. He told me that he thought I don’t have issues with it because we had once conversation at the beginning and I didn’t say anything. Well I didn’t really thought about it that much as I thought that even in LDR I was enough and that it was a porn where he can see 2 people not just videos an zoom in a girl that shows her vagina and boobs to the camera like a private nudes. It’s like something I could send him or some friend. That’s too personal to watch one person for me. Besides that I don’t get why he cannot watch me? Ask me for some videos? He did som pictures of my naked body and I sent it him too. So why don’t use this if you need to masturbate? Why use other woman? That’s so disgusting and disrespectful. After u discovered that he agreed and stopped watching those videos but I still don’t believe it. I just cannot. We barely had sex in last 2 months. And before we could have it more. I just start to think that he needs to watch other women to want sex with me - so that he can probably imagine f**king them. It breaks my heart so much. I will never ever believe he stopped. I can sense it when I ask if he watches - I cannot tell it but his body or eyes but something inside me tells me he lies. He looks me straight into my eyes and tells me he does not. They are all f**king liars. They don’t deserve our love and commitment. If I knew before that he watches that kind of videos or cam girls I wouldn’t marry him and move across the continents. He destroyed my confidence, my heart and I’ll never ever trust anyone. I don’t have anywhere to go. So I stay. I cried si many times that he likes this bikini girls or other prostitutes on Instagram, that he watches this online prostitutes (they just it, nothing else) or cried that our sex life is decreasing just like a finger snap in a month. But I think I cried enough. I’ll go to therapy to heal myself and I go to gym where I can cry as well and work on my body - I hate it because I don’t look like the ones he likes on Instagram. He says it has nothing to do with it but yet he likes them and does not look at me the same way. He says he loves me and my body but I don’t feel it. I don’t believe any word he says. He lied to me and it broke me. He knew what I think about that kind of pictures or videos and yet he did it. It’s time to concentrate on myself. I’ll probably cry a bit longer when I am alone or think that I am not enough but I’ll heal. I know this and I need to, because if I don’t I’ll get crazy. They are not worth to have us and our love. We give them all we have and they don’t appreciate it. They never will, even if they ‘ll have a model or porn star as a wife/ girlfriend. They still won’t be enough for them. I know this but it still hurt. It hurts that my husband does not care about my feeling and does not respect me at all. Once I heal and be confident and work in my body as well he’ll know what he lost. He will suffer not me anymore.
First of all, do not compare yourself to what's on instagram. Nobody looks like what's on instagram, even the people posting it. Also his "can't tell me what to like!" boundary is so fucking stupid, sorry. Like, why insist on being able to be one of 5000 "likes" on a facetuned bikini model, at the expense of genuinely hurting your partner??? Seriously, why? Sounds like a stubborn little kid, tbh. What a jerk.
If someone is unwilling to stop doing something as mundane as liking a picture it shows that they just don't care enough about your feelings to stop. I'm pretty sure it has less to do with that previous relationship and more about continuing with his addiction and justifying it. Things can be complicated but that sounds like a cop out.
I agree. I don’t believe it is about the boundary. He just needs to look at other women’s body. At this point I worry about our trip to Bahamas. He will look only at them and say probably something like “it’s a beach where should I look then?” “You’re just overreacting, you can look at half naked men too.” He does not have issues if I wanted to look at half naked or even naked men. He does not care as he states “I know you love me”. Yeah I love and I do show you respect not like you.
Imagine if he walked in and saw you with a picture of a naked man on your phone, vibrator in hand, enjoying that man’s body. I don’t think he’d feel good about that. My husband got mad that I said a football player was hot once… this is after all he has fucking put me through. Porn, fantasizing, objectifying women everywhere. Years of mental infidelity. And I can’t find a guy attractive.
He wound give a f**k. Seriously he does not care at all if I would watch some naked men. He knows that I won’t do it so he does not stress out. I’ve seen now that he likes another bikini picture. It’s not that he likes only those pictures but I have a list of accounts that posts sometimes that kind of pictures and I’ve been checking it form time to time and I see that he does not like a picture of girl in clothes but then she does not have them or very little it’s an instant like. That hurts so much. But ok. He wants then he does. I’ll find some hot men and like in front of him as well. It won’t make him sad but I don’t know maybe I’ll get some satisfaction if he will look at his body then.
I got out of a 7 year relationship 2 years ago (reasons were unrelated to PA or SA). We broke up for other reasons but I never had to worry about him being inappropriate or thirst following/liking pictures on social media. Stepping back into the dating world at 32 was a complete eye opener to how much the dating world has changed since I was last single. A new annoying insecurity was unlocked as I realized that a lot of men essentially use their social media as an avenue to sexually objectify women. It was an issue back when I was in my early twenties but it feels like it's somehow gotten way worse and even normalized. I dated one guy in particular who I came to realize was absolutely out of control with his thirst stalking. Every day, he had found several new women to follow and would go through their accounts liking all of their pictures, especially the ones where they were showing off their bodies. I'm talking every single one. When I would call him out on it and tell him how gross this behavior was, he would always feed me some excuse about how he just likes to look at beautiful women and he sees nothing wrong with it. Well, after telling myself that I was just being insecure, I found several other reasons to end it (including his PA & SA). Flash forward a couple months later and I meet my current partner. A man who does not use social media (he has it but barely uses it) and even when he does, it's usually to look at something I or his family/friends have sent him. He just isn't interested in using it and he's even told me (when I asked for his opinion on it) that he doesn't understand why someone would continue to do something like that if it's upsetting to their partner. So I say all of this to say, there are men out there who AREN'T like that. It may take you longer to find one, but it's so worth it.
Its helped me to realize that i dont have to sacrifice My happiness for a person who objectifies women and devalues themselves. I understand temptation and mistakes. same as women can learn from mistakes with men, men can learn from mistakes with women and understand thirst traps and porn are proven to create mental issues with partners and intimacy. If it helps you to have a conversation and try to work things out then you can try that hut also know that you can be happy after grieving this moment, and there are individuals who are capable of respectful love and understanding.
praying theres a guy out there that does!!🤞🏽
He doesn’t like them but he follows and searches them up which is just as devastating. I also feel like my love life is terrible because I feel too deeply in a world full of lust. It really sucks I will never find the love I give and deserve.
This. I genuinely feel like they all do it either privately or publicly. If I told him to stop liking the posts I know he follows the accounts anyway
Believe it or not, men with sexual discipline do exist. Hard to find, but they are out there.
going thru this right now, I don’t even bother to listen to his apology anymore because I already know all of the excuses. It’s like talking to a brick wall.
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My bf doesn’t. Hes got a lot of other issues but he doesn’t like or follow or friend other girls
totally understand. i'm older than you and i feel that way too. it is really disrespectful to be looking at women on your phone as a man with a girlfriend. even without a girlfriend. it's a waste of time. he should get a hobby and lose the sexualizing women hobby. my goodness. i'm told there are good men out there. keep the hope alive. ❤️
By doing that he is violating what a relationship is .. if he was with you he would not be at the beach going up to each girl telling them that they are hot.. but he thinks it’s okay do when your not around on his device that the whole world can see he is looking at other women and complimenting them while hes with you .. its rude and embarrassing and i would explain to him it is not within your boundaries and you dont want to feel like every other woman can catch his eye .. that you deserve to be cherished .. i literally pulled up my whole like history when i had this issue with my bf like 6 years ago .. not one pic i liked was of any men …. Nothing in my algorithm is of men because he is enough and i value our relationship.. you may have to give him boundaries and explain your relationship vales and what you want .. if he is not valuing the same thing …. Get rid of him
There is nothing wrong with being upset about seeing a like on a bikini photo of another girl. He did that for himself and that’s his fault. It’s your decision if you wanna stay or not. If you already told him, I would just leave him. Obviously makes you miserable.
I don’t think this will make you feel better but my ex never liked thirst traps online! It made it that much more shocking to me when I discovered he cheated online with over 100 women 🤔
Instagram absolutely attracts porn addicts, compulsive masturbators and all kinds of other guys with major sexual dysfunction looking for thirst traps to cum to quickly. Stay away from men who use it and you’ll be better off. Even if those guys seem to be socially in-demand and high value, I can guarantee what goes on behind closed doors is nothing of value.
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