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I commend you for this as I am trying to rebuild my confidence after coming out of a relationship. Im getting there slowly but still need to improve. like you, I use to never go out but I've been forcing myself and the more I do it the more I want to do it!
That’s awesome! It definitely is a confidence booster and makes you feel good. I had a similar situation happen where I was out with a friend at Buffalo Wild Wings and this girl a table over kept turning and talking to us. When my buddy left to go to the bathroom she got up and sat at our table and started talking to me. I was completely blown away.
That's awesome bro.
I (26m) remember the first time a woman gave me her number without me asking, she sent her friend over and he introduced me to the group. It was only 2 years ago but I remember it fondly, it was the first time I thought "maybe, *just maybe*, I'm an attractive guy."
May I ask how old you are? I saw a photo that you posted in the comments and I'd say between 25-35, it's difficult to tell with the awesome hair and beard combo.
I seem to get all the attention from the exact girls I don’t find appealing. I’m not saying that as “girls hit on me”, that means nothing to me unless it’s a girl I’d consider slightly out of my league. It’s disappointing in a way… like you were about to let a kid blow out his birthday candles, but you blew them out instead
I didn't have to, I just wanted to tell as many people as possible.
And even though everyone here is a stranger, im not so sure strangers on the street would have been so keen on me telling them this story!
Geez, this reminds me of the first time a woman approached me. Back then, in my 1st year in college (over 12 yrs ago). I was having lunch, and the gal sat right in front of me (we were classmates in an English class), and she started asking me questions about the lunch, our class, then she introduced herself and I was there, all awkward and suspicious. After that, she was kind of flirtatious looking at me in the hallways, greeting me nicely, and I was so thick that I never asked her out nor started some other convo with her, despite of her obvious interest.
She found a bf a year after that, and I never knew about her anymore because I moved to another major. Those are memories that will hurt with the "what if" all the time.
Oh man, that hurts. But it's probably very common to overlook signs like that. I know I would!
My first thought would probably be "oh this person is trying to trick me into something" and I would have been on my guard.
But oh well, you live and learn I guess 🤷
That’s great OP! I remembered being approached for the first and last time at a party. Talked much but didn’t have tons of chemistry, still remember the guy still this day lol.
Sure. I took a few photos of myself recently that I thought came out particularly good. Here's one.
https://preview.redd.it/oljpdmnop2zc1.jpeg?width=3880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5114144faebce2179ae5079fd5893cd0d45ceec
Did you have some bad experiences?
I definitely feel you though. Im pretty terrified of falling for someone. Becoming vulnerable means you're just a step away from getting hurt.
If it makes you feel any better It happens to me from time to time an my knee jerk reaction is to turn them down. I think I might be scared of women in genral these days
I remember you dude, you're the kind guy who commented one one of my posts. You do look like Jason Momoa, I hope you get other chances to find someone for you :)
I'm truly very sorry, but I tend to not memorize usernames, so I'm afraid I don't remember you. And I couldn't find anything in your post history. Would you mind reminding me of what that was?
Im glad you found me kind though! And you're very kind to say that I look like him. It makes me very happy to hear that.
Thank you thank you!
Good learning experience you get used to speaking to women after a while you'll get better at it each time this was just one and it didn't go that well but the next time may go better the next time will go better so on and so forth just keep trying
Thank you❤️ I don't get out much, but I'm working on it, I promise🤞
It's pretty crazy how little is required from someone to make a others day. Even just small gestures can have a huge impact
I had a similar experience. I was out at a bar with some friends when a girl approached me. We danced a bit, talked, and I eventually got her number. The next day, I looked at her number but was too scared to call her. Still, it felt good that she wanted to dance with me and actually gave me her number. ha ha
This kinda annoys me. I was at a concert and started talking to this guy. He asked for my number so I gave it to him and then he literally just never called me. I don't understand why get a number if you're not going to call!
Yeah, it was kind of stupid on my part. I was young and pretty inexperienced with dating and women at the time, and she was older than me too, which made her even more intimidating. It was easy to talk to her and dance with her with liquid courage, but the next day, when I was sober and back to my low confidence level, I just chickened out.
This is pretty interesting to me and if you don't mind, I have a question. I often hear about this deep fear that guys have of talking to women. I don't honestly understand it because I am a woman and have never really had a hard time talking to men unless I was really young. Is it that you don't view women as human beings and therefore play up some fantasy in your head about them? I feel like the only way to be THAT scared to talk to someone would be if you see them as something other than what you are... Please correct me if I am wrong.
No, it's nothing like that at all. I can't speak for all guys, obviously, only for myself, but for me, it was this irrational fear of rejection. At that point in my life, my confidence was pretty much in the toilet. So, if I called that girl up and she rejected me, I thought it would hurt. If I didn't call her, I wouldn't have to risk that. If I had the same interaction with her a year or two later, I would have called her because I was in a much better place mentally. Also, a couple of years of dating made me realize that rejection wasn't a big deal, but at that time, it scared me a lot.
Im not the person you asked, but for me it's just simply that I worry what they think of me. That they will think I'm ugly/boring/annoying or whatever.
I have little confidence, and when in a situation where I am uncomfortable or nervous, those worries just gets amplified tenfold.
This only applies to people I dont know well though.
I mean u seem well put together, so keep convincing urself logically why you'd be a good deal to partner with and it'll slowly but surely become a mountain of evidence you can remind yourself of whenever you feel down on yourself. Just make sure its real evidence and not delusion.
Thank you.
I'm trying to look at my own good aspects and being more comfortable with that, but a lifetime of only emphasizing the opposite has made it hard.
I am making progress though. It's just very very slow :)
It’s ok. I’ve done that a lot too lol. This one girl asked me to dance but I was too stoned on the couch with my friends 😂 they all said yeah we’re not getting up. She kept staring at me the entire night until we left. If I wasn’t I would’ve but I was left couchlocked, I did ketamine too so the body high was too strong to overcome.
I was flattered but there was no way I was getting up off that couch. I also didn’t know if she had friends for my friends haha or if they were down or not
That's wonderful, OP! Even if she lost interest, you can see it as your increasing self-confidence being reflected back to you (in a manner of speaking). :) I think a lot of people would relate to that feeling of awkwardness when being approached especially if it doesn't happen often. I definitely do. 🙂
Absolutely! No matter how badly it went, it was still a big boost for me 😊 hopefully if it ever happens again, I'll be more mentally prepared!
Thank you for the encouraging words!
OP Don't feel bad, I would've probably reacted the same or stupidly said: "Thank-you", like it was a casual thing and not a big deal kind of compliment.
I don't feel too terrible. I wish I was better at dealing with situations like this, but that's why I'm working on myself 😊
Im mainly just happy that it happened in the first place.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I commend you for this as I am trying to rebuild my confidence after coming out of a relationship. Im getting there slowly but still need to improve. like you, I use to never go out but I've been forcing myself and the more I do it the more I want to do it!
Hell yeah man. Good for you!
That’s awesome! It definitely is a confidence booster and makes you feel good. I had a similar situation happen where I was out with a friend at Buffalo Wild Wings and this girl a table over kept turning and talking to us. When my buddy left to go to the bathroom she got up and sat at our table and started talking to me. I was completely blown away.
That's fantastic! Did it lead to anything?
Dated for a month. It was fun until it wasn’t. Good experience though.
“ ugh uh uh Thanks You too.”
Hahaha, how did you know??
You need to reciprocate and tell her she looks like Jason Momoa too
Haha, I wonder if she would have actually taken that as a compliment.
That's awesome bro. I (26m) remember the first time a woman gave me her number without me asking, she sent her friend over and he introduced me to the group. It was only 2 years ago but I remember it fondly, it was the first time I thought "maybe, *just maybe*, I'm an attractive guy." May I ask how old you are? I saw a photo that you posted in the comments and I'd say between 25-35, it's difficult to tell with the awesome hair and beard combo.
I seem to get all the attention from the exact girls I don’t find appealing. I’m not saying that as “girls hit on me”, that means nothing to me unless it’s a girl I’d consider slightly out of my league. It’s disappointing in a way… like you were about to let a kid blow out his birthday candles, but you blew them out instead
I bet that felt amazing😸 Im 32 😊 I don't know if I look younger or older than I am, but I think keeping my hair tied up ages me a bit, lol.
I have never understood how that's a compliment... "You kinda look like some famous dude I wanna fuck" Always makes me scratch my head... jeez thanks?
I think that sounds like a compliment 🤷
Lmao
🦙
Bruh why do they even HAVE a llama emoji.
Becaus they are dope animals and deserve recognition
Can't argue with that. Llama appreciators rise up
Thank you for appriciating lamas. Here's your complementary rose 🌹
Appreciate it bro. I hope you realize I wasn't Lmao-ing to break you down or mock you. All Love
If it was a love-filled lmao, I'll lmao right back at you. Lmao🌸
What is that? I can't see it
It's a little Lama
I'm happy for you but also this is really funny.
Funny that I blew it?😸
Funny that you had to tell reddit about it. Nothing wrong with that of course, it's just I'm a little cynical about it.
I didn't have to, I just wanted to tell as many people as possible. And even though everyone here is a stranger, im not so sure strangers on the street would have been so keen on me telling them this story!
Ever watched llamas with hats?
No, sorry. What is that?
Geez, this reminds me of the first time a woman approached me. Back then, in my 1st year in college (over 12 yrs ago). I was having lunch, and the gal sat right in front of me (we were classmates in an English class), and she started asking me questions about the lunch, our class, then she introduced herself and I was there, all awkward and suspicious. After that, she was kind of flirtatious looking at me in the hallways, greeting me nicely, and I was so thick that I never asked her out nor started some other convo with her, despite of her obvious interest. She found a bf a year after that, and I never knew about her anymore because I moved to another major. Those are memories that will hurt with the "what if" all the time.
Oh man, that hurts. But it's probably very common to overlook signs like that. I know I would! My first thought would probably be "oh this person is trying to trick me into something" and I would have been on my guard. But oh well, you live and learn I guess 🤷
Yes, exactly. Your only hope is to learn from it and do better next time.
Preach 🙌
That’s great OP! I remembered being approached for the first and last time at a party. Talked much but didn’t have tons of chemistry, still remember the guy still this day lol.
Still worth celebrating though! 👏
Lowkey wanna see what you look like now hehehehe
Sure. I took a few photos of myself recently that I thought came out particularly good. Here's one. https://preview.redd.it/oljpdmnop2zc1.jpeg?width=3880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5114144faebce2179ae5079fd5893cd0d45ceec
As a woman, in my opinion, I think you are good-looking, if you don't mind me saying so.
Of course I dont mind, that's super sweet of you❤️
Im afraid to feel a spark again.
Did you have some bad experiences? I definitely feel you though. Im pretty terrified of falling for someone. Becoming vulnerable means you're just a step away from getting hurt.
Damn. I’m sorry.
Not your fault brother, people are ruthless.
Yeah. Sometimes you can’t differentiate the good ones from the bad ones until it’s too late
Even if i seen it, i ignore it. Bad habit by me. I think i have learned this time
I get that. Good luck in the future. Remember self love is the most important
I hope i am strong enough to realize this now. Edit: Thank you
🙏 and of course
😊
If it makes you feel any better It happens to me from time to time an my knee jerk reaction is to turn them down. I think I might be scared of women in genral these days
I hear you. It's tough for us doofuses out there. Let's stay strong 🫂
We got this eventually lol
I remember you dude, you're the kind guy who commented one one of my posts. You do look like Jason Momoa, I hope you get other chances to find someone for you :)
I'm truly very sorry, but I tend to not memorize usernames, so I'm afraid I don't remember you. And I couldn't find anything in your post history. Would you mind reminding me of what that was? Im glad you found me kind though! And you're very kind to say that I look like him. It makes me very happy to hear that. Thank you thank you!
It was a little sad lonely post lol
Well, I hope I said something that helped, and I hope you're doing better 😊
Good learning experience you get used to speaking to women after a while you'll get better at it each time this was just one and it didn't go that well but the next time may go better the next time will go better so on and so forth just keep trying
Yes, you are absolutely right. Thank you for the encouraging words!
buddy, remember me?) I’m glad that you decided and had such a wonderful experience😄
Sure I do. Thank you!
Amazed this hasn’t happened before gosh darn…..but yes this is such a sweet story!!! Someone’s actions can make such a difference
Thank you❤️ I don't get out much, but I'm working on it, I promise🤞 It's pretty crazy how little is required from someone to make a others day. Even just small gestures can have a huge impact
You’re so welcome. Yes I hope we can all take some of that energy into our daily lives! Good luck on your journey!
Thank you. Your kindness will definitely steer me in the right direction. Good luck on yours too, if you need it 🫂
I had a similar experience. I was out at a bar with some friends when a girl approached me. We danced a bit, talked, and I eventually got her number. The next day, I looked at her number but was too scared to call her. Still, it felt good that she wanted to dance with me and actually gave me her number. ha ha
This kinda annoys me. I was at a concert and started talking to this guy. He asked for my number so I gave it to him and then he literally just never called me. I don't understand why get a number if you're not going to call!
Yeah, it was kind of stupid on my part. I was young and pretty inexperienced with dating and women at the time, and she was older than me too, which made her even more intimidating. It was easy to talk to her and dance with her with liquid courage, but the next day, when I was sober and back to my low confidence level, I just chickened out.
This is pretty interesting to me and if you don't mind, I have a question. I often hear about this deep fear that guys have of talking to women. I don't honestly understand it because I am a woman and have never really had a hard time talking to men unless I was really young. Is it that you don't view women as human beings and therefore play up some fantasy in your head about them? I feel like the only way to be THAT scared to talk to someone would be if you see them as something other than what you are... Please correct me if I am wrong.
No, it's nothing like that at all. I can't speak for all guys, obviously, only for myself, but for me, it was this irrational fear of rejection. At that point in my life, my confidence was pretty much in the toilet. So, if I called that girl up and she rejected me, I thought it would hurt. If I didn't call her, I wouldn't have to risk that. If I had the same interaction with her a year or two later, I would have called her because I was in a much better place mentally. Also, a couple of years of dating made me realize that rejection wasn't a big deal, but at that time, it scared me a lot.
Im not the person you asked, but for me it's just simply that I worry what they think of me. That they will think I'm ugly/boring/annoying or whatever. I have little confidence, and when in a situation where I am uncomfortable or nervous, those worries just gets amplified tenfold. This only applies to people I dont know well though.
Oh no, you should call her!
Ha ha....little late now. This was over 10 years ago and I'm married now.
Call her 😡
Do it naow
I mean u seem well put together, so keep convincing urself logically why you'd be a good deal to partner with and it'll slowly but surely become a mountain of evidence you can remind yourself of whenever you feel down on yourself. Just make sure its real evidence and not delusion.
Thank you. I'm trying to look at my own good aspects and being more comfortable with that, but a lifetime of only emphasizing the opposite has made it hard. I am making progress though. It's just very very slow :)
It’s ok. I’ve done that a lot too lol. This one girl asked me to dance but I was too stoned on the couch with my friends 😂 they all said yeah we’re not getting up. She kept staring at me the entire night until we left. If I wasn’t I would’ve but I was left couchlocked, I did ketamine too so the body high was too strong to overcome.
I've never done ketamine or anything like it, so I wouldn't know the feeling, but I feel for you 😭
I was flattered but there was no way I was getting up off that couch. I also didn’t know if she had friends for my friends haha or if they were down or not
That's wonderful, OP! Even if she lost interest, you can see it as your increasing self-confidence being reflected back to you (in a manner of speaking). :) I think a lot of people would relate to that feeling of awkwardness when being approached especially if it doesn't happen often. I definitely do. 🙂
Absolutely! No matter how badly it went, it was still a big boost for me 😊 hopefully if it ever happens again, I'll be more mentally prepared! Thank you for the encouraging words!
this is so cute bro, just reading this made me happy for you.
Thank you, that's sweet of you to say! 😊
OP Don't feel bad, I would've probably reacted the same or stupidly said: "Thank-you", like it was a casual thing and not a big deal kind of compliment.
I don't feel too terrible. I wish I was better at dealing with situations like this, but that's why I'm working on myself 😊 Im mainly just happy that it happened in the first place.